Teaching and preaching: How to cheat people while you are in the
"Buhdda Temple" and dressed as an Egghead Monk.
======== FWD:
thezensite
http://www.thezensite.com/ZenTeachings/Essence_of_compassion.html
A Public Talk by Thich Nhat Hanh at the Riverside Church, New York
Thich Nhat Hanh
from: Making Sense of These Times
September 25, 2001
My Dear friends, I would like to tell you how I practice when I get
angry. During the war in Vietnam, there was a lot of injustice, and
many thousands, including friends of mine, many disciples of mine,
were killed. I got very angry. One time I learned that the city of Ben
Tre, a city of three hundred thousand people, was bombarded by
American aviation just because some guerillas came to the city and
tried to shoot down American aircrafts. The guerillas did not succeed,
and after that they went away. And the city was destroyed. And the
military man who was responsible for that declared later that he had
to destroy the city of Ben Tre to save it. I was very angry.
But at that time, I was already a practitioner, a solid practitioner.
I did not say anything, I did not act, because I knew that acting or
saying things while you are angry is not wise. It may create a lot of
destruction. I went back to myself, recognizing my anger, embracing
it, and looked deeply into the nature of my suffering.
In the Buddhist tradition, we have the practice of mindful breathing,
of mindful walking, to generate the energy of mindfulness. It is
exactly with that energy of mindfulness that we can recognize,
embrace, and transform our anger. Mindfulness is the kind of energy
that helps us to be aware of what is going on inside of us and around
us, and anybody can be mindful. If you drink a cup of tea and you know
that you are drinking a cup of tea, that is mindful drinking. When you
breathe in and you know that you are breathing in, and you focus your
attention on your in-breath, that is mindfulness of breathing. When
you make a step and you are aware you are making a step, that is
called mindfulness of walking. The basic practice in Zen centers,
meditation centers, is the practice of generating mindfulness every
moment of your daily life. When you are angry, you are aware that you
are angry. Because you already have the energy of mindfulness in you
created by the practice, that is why you have enough of it in order to
recognize, embrace, look deeply, and understand the nature of your
suffering.
I was able to understand the nature of the suffering in Vietnam. I saw
that not only Vietnamese suffered, but Americans suffered as well
during the war in Vietnam. The young American man who was sent to
Vietnam in order to kill and be killed underwent a lot of suffering,
and the suffering continues today. The family, the nation also
suffers. I could see that the cause of our suffering in Vietnam is not
American soldiers. It is a kind of policy that is not wise. It is a
misunderstanding. It is fear that lies at the foundation of the
policy.
Many in Vietnam had burned themselves in order to call for a cessation
of the destruction. They did not want to inflict pain on other people,
they wanted to take the pain on themselves in order to get the message
across. But the sounds of planes and bombs was too loud. The people in
the world, not many of them were capable of hearing us. So I decided
to go to America and call for a cessation of the violence. That was in
1966, and because of that I was prevented from going home. And I have
lived in exile since that time, 1966.
I was able to see that the real enemy of man is not man. The real
enemy is our ignorance, discrimination, fear, craving, and violence. I
did not have hate the American people, the American nation. I came to
America in order to plead for a kind of looking deeply so that your
government could revise that kind of policy. I remember I met with
Secretary of Defense Robert MacNamara. I told him the truth about the
suffering. He kept me with him for a long time and he listened deeply
to me, and I was very grateful for his quality of listening. Three
months later, when the war intensified, I heard that he resigned from
his post.
Hatred and anger was not in my heart. That is why I was listened to by
many young people in my country, advocating them to follow the path of
reconciliation, and together we helped to bring about the new
organizations for peace in Paris. I hope my friends here in New York
are able to practice the same. I understood, I understand suffering
and injustice, and I feel that I understand deeply the suffering of
New York, of America. I feel I am a New Yorker. I feel I am an
American.
You want to be there for you, to be with you, not to act, not to say
things when you are not calm. There are ways that we can go back to
ourselves and practice so that we rediscover our calmness, our
tranquility, our lucidity. There are ways that we can practice so that
we understand the real causes of the suffering. And that understanding
will help us to do what needs to be done, and not do what could be
harmful to us and to other people. Let us practice mindful breathing
for half a minute before we continue.
In Buddhist psychology, we speak of consciousness in terms of seeds.
We have the seed of anger in our consciousness. We have the seed of
despair, of fear. But we also have the seed of understanding, wisdom,
compassion, and forgiveness. If we know how to water the seed of
wisdom and compassion in us, that seed, these seeds will manifest
themselves as powerful sorts of energy helping us to perform an act of
forgiveness and compassion. It will be able to bring relief right away
to our nation, to our world. That is my conviction.
I believe very strongly that the American people have a lot of wisdom
and compassion within themselves. I want you to be your best when you
begin to act, for the sake of America and for the sake of the world.
With lucidity, with understanding and compassion, you will turn to the
people who have caused a lot of damage and suffering to you and ask
them a lot of questions.
"We do not understand enough of your suffering, could you tell us? We
have not done anything to you, we have not tried to destroy you, to
discriminate against you, and we do not understand why you have done
this to us. There must be a lot of suffering within you. We want to
listen to you. We may be able to help you. And together we can help
build peace in the world." And if you are solid, if you are
compassionate when you make this statement, they will tell you about
their suffering.
In Buddhism we speak of the practice of deep listening, compassionate
listening, a wonderful method by which we can restore communication –
communication between partners, communication between father and son,
communication between mother and daughter, communication between
nations. The practice of deep listening should be taken up by parents,
by partners, so that they can understand the suffering of the other
person. That person might beour wife, our husband, our son, or our
daughter. We may have enough good will to listen, but many of us have
lost our capacity to listen because we have a lot of anger and
violence in us. The other people do not know how to use kind speech;
they always blame and judge. And language is very often sour, bitter.
That kind of speech will always touch off the irritation and the anger
in us and prevent us from listening deeply and with compassion. That
is why good will to listen is not enough. We need some training in
order to listen deeply with compassion. I think, I believe, I have the
conviction, that a father, if he knows how to listen to his son deeply
and with compassion, he will be able to open the door of his sons
heart and restore communication.
People in our Congress and our Senate should also train themselves in
the art of deep listening, of compassionate listening. There is a lot
of suffering within the country, and many people feel their suffering
is not understood. That is why politicians, members of the Parliament,
members of the Congress have to train themselves in the art of deep
listening – listening to their own people, listening to the suffering
in the country, because there is injustice in the country, there is
discrimination in the country. There is a lot of anger in the country.
If we can listen to each other, we can also listen to the people
outside of the country. Many of them are in a situation of despair,
many suffer because of injustice and discrimination. The amount of
violence and despair in them is very huge. And if we know how to
listen as a nation to their suffering, we can already bring a lot of
relief. They will feel that they are being understood. That can
diffuse the bomb already.
I always advise a couple that when they are angry with each other,
they should go back to their breathing, their mindful walking, embrace
their anger, and look deeply into the nature of their anger. And they
may be able to transform that anger in just fifteen minutes or a few
hours. If they cannot do that, then they will have to tell the other
person that they suffer, that they are angry, and that they want the
other person to know it. They will try to say it in a calm way.
"Darling, I suffer, and I want you to know it." And in Plum Village,
where I live and practice, we advise our friends not to keep their
anger for more than twenty-four hours without telling the other
person. "Darling, I suffer, and I want you to know it. I do not know
why you have done such a thing to me. I do not know why you have said
such a thing to me." That is the first thing they should tell the
other person. And if they are not calm enough to say it, they can
write it down on a piece of paper.
The second thing they can say or write down is, "I am doing my best."
It means "I am practicing not to say anything, not to do anything with
anger, because I know that in doing so I will create more suffering.
So I am embracing my anger, I am looking deeply into the nature of my
anger." You tell the other person that you are practicing holding your
anger, understanding your anger, in order to find out whether that
anger has come from your own misunderstanding, wrong perception, your
lack of mindfulness and your lack of skillfulness.
And the third thing you might like to say to him or her is, "I need
your help." Usually when we get angry with someone, we want to do the
opposite. We want to say, "I don't need you. I can survive by myself
alone." "I need your help" means "I need your practice, I need your
deep looking, I need you to help me to overcome this anger because I
suffer." And if I suffer, there is no way that you can be happy,
because happiness is not an individual matter. If the other person
suffers, there is no way that you can be truly happy alone. So helping
the other person to suffer less, to smile, will make you happy also.
The Buddha said, "This is like this, because that is like that. This
is because that is." The three sentences I propose are the language of
true love. It will inspire the other person to practice, to look
deeply, and together you will bring about understanding and
reconciliation. I propose to my friends to write down these sentences
on a piece of paper and slip it into their wallet. Every time they get
angry at their partner or their son or daughter, they can practice
mindful breathing, take it out, and read. It will be a bell of
mindfulness telling them what to do and what not to do. These are the
three sentences: "I suffer and I want you to know it." "I am doing my
best." "Please help."
I believe that in an international conflict, the same kind of practice
is possible also. That is why I propose to America as a nation to do
the same. You tell the people you believe to be the cause of your
suffering that you suffer, that you want them to know it, that you
want to know why they have done such a thing to you, and you practice
listening deeply and with compassion.
The quality of our being is very important, because that question,
that statement is not a condemnation, but a willingness to create true
communication. "We are ready to listen to you. We know that you must
have suffered a lot in order to have done such a thing to us. You may
have thought that we are the cause of your suffering. So please tell
us whether we have tried to destroy you, whether we have tried to
discriminate against you, so that we can understand. And we know that
when we understand your suffering, we may be able to help you." That
is what we call in Buddhism "loving speech" or "kind language," and it
has the purpose of creating communication, restoring communication.
And with communication restored, peace will be possible.
This summer, a group of Palestinians came to Plum Village and
practiced together with a group of Israelis, a few dozen of them. We
sponsored their coming and practicing together. In two weeks, they
learned to sit together, walk mindfully together, enjoy silent meals
together, and sit quietly in order to listen to each other. The
practice taken up was very successful. At the end of the two weeks
practice, they gave us a wonderful, wonderful report. One lady said,
"Thay, this is the first time in my life that I see that peace in the
Middle East is possible." Another young person said, "Thay, when I
first arrived in Plum Village, I did not believe that Plum Village was
something real because in the situation of my country, you live in
constant fear and anger. When your children get onto the bus, you are
not sure that they will be coming home. When you go to the market, you
are not sure that you will survive to go home to your family. When you
come to Plum Village, you see people looking at each other with loving
kindness, talking with other kindly, walking peacefully, and doing
everything mindfully. We did not believe that it was possible. It did
not look real to me."
But in the peaceful setting of Plum Village, they were able to be
together, to live together, and to listen to each other, and finally
understanding came. They promised that when they returned to the
Middle East, they would continue the practice. They will organize a
day of practice every week at the local level and a day of mindfulness
at the national level. And they plan to come to Plum Village as a
bigger group to continue the practice.
I think that if nations like America can organize that kind of setting
where people can come together and spend their time practicing peace,
then they will be able to calm down their feelings, their fears, and
peaceful negotiation will be much easier.
read an interview with Thich Nhat Hanh