Bumper Stickers!

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From: Rob Richman <rich...@uscom.com>

Canonical List of Bumper Stickers

If Clinton is the answer it must been a stupid question.

Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Welcome to Bradford, Now go home.

Your kid may be an honour student but your still an IDIOT!

It's as bad as you think, and they were out to get you.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

All I want to do is massage your back - TRUST me...

Cute and definitely huggable...YES, me!

My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me.
Gosh I will miss her.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Tax
man.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

Honk if you are God.

Nobodys ugly after 2am!

Cover me.... I'm changing lanes...

Don't like my driving.... dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Proud parent of the inmate of the month at the Chino corectional
facilities.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

I came, I Saw, I did some shopping.

If money could talk, it would say good bye.

Support wildlife, throw a party! - Thanks to Melisa from the USA!

USE CAUTION!

Just when you think you have won the Rat Race, along come faster rats.

If its too loud, your too old.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun.

The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work!

My child is a troustee at Chino corectional facilities.

Cynics are people who know the price of everything, but the value of
nothing.

Mean People Suck, Nice People Swallow.

I may be fat, but your ugly - I can lose weight!

No Radio - Already Stolen

Cute and definitely huggable...YES, you!

Cuz when the night falls, you make me forget.

Crime wouldn't pay, if the government ran it.

ORGASM DONOR - My favorite

Flying saucers are real, the Air force doesn't exist

My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer

Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.

So many pedestrians, so little time.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself! - Thanks to Melisa
from the USA!

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.

90% of people are made by accident.

Forget the Jones's, I keep up with the Simpsons

Do you think you could drive any better with that car phone stuck up
your butt?

I took an IQ test and the results were Negative

Dancers do it on the floor.

Dancers do it to music.

Dancers do it with rhythm.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

Cowgirls like to ride bareback.

HUG A LOGGER - you'll never go back to trees

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would
rather be.

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

I used to live in the real world, then I got evicted.

Baby, I'm your's!

Bee Healthy - Eat your Honey!

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

My other wife is beautiful.

Okay, who "stopped the payment" on my reality check?

All ya gotta do is just gimme that wink.

Few women admit there age, Few men act it!

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

At last! I finally found the perfect man!

Assassins do it from behind!

Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now!

All I need is some peace and quiet. If I got a piece I'd be quiet!

Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.

Life is a Banquet.... So EAT ME!

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.

Are you going to cum quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all it's students!

Ain't goin' down 'till the sun comes up!

I fart to make you smell better.

Are you wearing a condom?

Which came first? The woman or the department store?

A little honey is good for your health - pick me up at 8:00?

A little less talk and a lot more action.

LAWYER: A cat settles a dispute between 2 mice.

A kiss is an upper persuasion for lower invasion.

I don't have a license to Kill, I have a learners permit.

Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!!

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.

To all you virgins out there.. thanks for nothing!"

A hard man is good to find.

Ahhhh....good to the last drop!

I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!

A dirty mind is, well, a wonderful thing.

A good girl is good, but I'm even better!

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

It's a dog eat dog world...and i'm wearing milkbone underwear!!!

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

There is one in every crowd and they always find me.

Clinton doesn't inhale.... he SUCKS!

Keep granny off the streets, support bingo

Horn not working, watch for hand signals

Professionals are predictable - amateurs are DANGEROUS!

I love animals - They taste great!

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

"Eagles soar, but a weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine"

Romance is like a game of chess: one false move and you're mated.

I brake for hallucinations.

I brake for animals - accelerate for small children.

Come closer and tell me about it.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man?

Dogs come when called. *I* need more DIRECT stimulation!

Do it only with the best.

Do it to me one more time...

Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Your honor student swallows

My daughter turned down your honor student

My honor student sells the best dope

My honor student can drink yours under the table

Your honor student sells bumper stickers

Previous owner had an honor student

Your honor student never gets laid

I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?

From: Roya...@aol.com

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"I souport publik edekasion"
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "
"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."
"I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening."
"If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question."

>From Roya...@aol.com

BUMPER STICKERS

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

All generalizations are false.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.