The Jokes of 1995 :)

6 views
Skip to first unread message

Tuyet Pham

unread,
Mar 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM3/22/97
to

This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text,
while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools.
Send mail to mi...@docserver.cac.washington.edu for more info.

--------------6E7B3E79BC9
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=us-ascii
Content-ID: <Pine.OSF.3.95.97...@plato.ucs.mun.ca>

Q. How many seconds are there in a year?
A. 12 .... (Jan 2, Feb 2, Mar 2 .... etc.)

Amie Alter

Q. What did George Washington say to his men before they got into the
boat to cross the Potomac River?
A. Men .... get in the boat...

Amie Alter

What do are those little bumps around a woman's nipple?....Braille

Karen Counts

Here about the ship that ran aground carrying a cargo of red and black
paints. Yeah the whole crew was marooned.

WILLIAM BISHOP

"I think I'll get engaged", Tom proposed marryly.

WILLIAM BISHOP

"That's my favorite song", Tom said off the record.

WILLIAM BISHOP


"I'll have to make another pastry", Tom retorted.

WILLIAM BISHOP

"I love mathematics!!", Tom added.

WILLIAM BISHOP

"Look it's Free Willy!!", Tom wailed out.

WILLIAM BISHOP

Hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? Yeah the
headlines in the newspaper read "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE".

WILLIAM BISHOP

"I dropped my toothpaste", Tom said crestfallen.

WILLIAM BISHOP

"I just got a pacemaker", Tom said half-heartedly.

WILLIAM BISHOP


When beer and Your Mother in LAw are best ? - cold, opened and on the
table.

Pentti Karikko

Elephant met a man and asked 'How can You eat with THAT?'

Pentti Karikko

Saying - May the bluebird of happiness enter your heart without
wrinkling your shirt

ralph castro

What would you do if you had 6 months to live? Move in with my mother
in law it would seem like an eternity!

ralph castro

If Adam and Eve were standing naked in a crowd of one million other
naked people, how could you recognize them from the others? Easy, they
would be the only two without belly buttons.

Deborah J. Holland

What is brown, black and blue was found lying in a ditch? The last
brunette that told a blonde joke in front of a blonde.

Deborah J. Holland

Blondes take everything literally. My sister is a blonde. There was
this movie she wanted to see real bad and she left with her ticket in
hand to go see it,but I was suprized to see her return home in only 15
minutes. "I thought you really wanted to see that movie, what
happened?",I asked. "I did",she said sadly, "but, when I got there I
saw a sign that said, under 18 not admitted and I couldn't find 18
people to go see it with me."

Deborah J. Holland

Why do elephants paint the bottom of their feet yellow? So they can
hide upside-down in a bowl of custard.

Luke Delwiche

Riddle: Why was Mr. Taste, CPA, shunned on the job?
ANS: Everybody knows, "There's no accounting for taste!"

Dobe Fugin Doinat

The sound a Canadian Goose makes? Honk, eh?

Dobe Fugin Doinat

It takes a sharp tongue to perform oral surgery.

Dobe Fugin Doinat

THE TOP THREE MOST PSYCHO PICK-UP LIES:
3) WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF WOOD;
2) I BET YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I HAVE NO NOSTRILS;
3) BABY, YOU STOLE MY HEART....THAT'S OK, I HAVE TWO IN THE FRIDGE
AT HOME

CHAZ LANDRY

Don't look back... the lemmings are gaining.
Phil Malouf

I'm naked under my clothes.

Phil Malouf

What do women and a trophy fish such as a trout have in common? You
can mount them or eat them.

dave Creen

You wanna write a good composition? Avoid cliches like the plague!

Carole Wheeler

----------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get an elephant out of a bowl of jello? You read the
directions on the back of the box.

Carole Wheeler

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Didja hear about the ice-fisherman that went for the BIG CATCH - a
polar bear?! Yeah, he cut a hole in the ice, carefully laid peas
around the edge of the hole and waited. When the bear came to take a
pea, the fisherman kicked him in the ice-hole.

Carole Wheeler

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do cowboys make poor lovers? Because they think eight seconds is a
good ride.

Leslie Nash

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I see said the blind man to the deaf lady.

Robert Williamson

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Willie saw some dynamite, didn't understand it quite, curiosity never
pays, it rained willie seven days.

Robert Williamson

----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have proof Adam wasn't Black. Ain't no brotha giving up his ribs.

Robert Williamson

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo momma's so fat, I saw her on a log saying "BUD!!"

Robert Williamson
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two guys from Kentucky going into Cincinnati for a ball game. They
> cross the bridge going over the Ohio river and they see a sign that
> reads "Ohio left". So they turn around and go back to Kentucky.
>
> Robert Williamson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? A.
> Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
>
> Robert Williamson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What did a 1 year old baby said when he received his first birthday
> present? "Unco, Unco" (The sound that little baby make)
>
> Quincy Ma
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why did the Computer cross the road? Cause the chicken was programming
> it.
>
> Quincy Ma
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A boy went into a chip shop and asked for cod and chips the proprietor
> asked the lad, "Do you want salt'n'vinegar on that?" to which the boy
> replied "No thanks I've got me bike outside!"
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. What is long and green and smells like pig? A. Kermits finger.
>
> John Buckert
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> This is how a typical student would describe his dorm food: "If
> something in the bowl moves, don't eat it because it might bite your
> tongue off. If it doesn't, eat it because it's probably dead anyway."
>
> Kai Chi
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> You heard that Hertz dropped O.J.'s commercial contract, but did you
> hear that Taco Bell hired him? Yeah, for their Run for the Border
> commercials!
>
> Ken Kessler
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What is the definition of cooperation? Four hands reaching down to put
> "it" back in!
>
> Ken Kessler
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A little boy and girl were outside playing and they were very
> competitive. The little boy said "My wagon's bigger than your wagon!"
> The little girl said "No it's not!" The boy said "Is too! Let's
> measure!" They measured and the girl said "Oh gosh, it is." They
> played some more and the boy said "My daddy can beat up your daddy!"
> The girl said "He can not!" The boy said "Can too! Watch!" The two
> fathers fight and the little boy's father wins. The girl says "Oh
> gosh, he can." They play some more and the little boy smiles and says
> "I've got something you don't have!" The little girl says "Do not!"
> The boy says "Do too! Look!" He pulls his pants down and shows her.
> The little girl starts crying and runs into her house because she
> keeps losing. A little while later she comes out with a big smile on
> her face. The little boy says "What are you so happy about?" The girl
> pulls up her dress and says "My mommy said as long as I have one of
> these, I can get as many of those as I want!"
>
> Ken Kessler
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A Nurse walks by a Doctor and says, "Hey Doc, How come you have a
> thermometer behind your ear?" The Doctor responds, "Darn, some patient
> has got my pen!"
>
> Ron Hametner
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What do dentures and the moon have in common? They both come out at
> night.
>
> jeremy gross
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What is the first question OJ asked the prosecutors after he had heard
> the verdict? Can I have my gloves and my hat back now?
>
> K. Suwansathien
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Some old cattlemen were bragging about some of the long cattle drives
> they had been involved in during their lives. Each tale bettered the
> others until finally came the best of them all. "Well" bragged one old
> timer "I took part in a drive that took 400 head right from Texas to
> London, England!" There was a brief silence before one of the others
> asked "How did you get across the Atlantic?" Quick as lightening came
> the reply "Didn't go that way!"
>
> Bob Woodfield
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Did you hear about the termite who went into a bar and asked "Where's
> the bar tender?"
>
> Bob Woodfield
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 3 convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are
> confonted by a policeman. "hey, arn't you those three escaped
> convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking on his feet the first
> convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer", "The
> second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith".
> The third said "My name is Ken.....Tucky fried chicken"
>
> Laurence Hook
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Whats Mary short for? She's just got little legs
>
> Laurence Hook
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> KNOCK KNOCK whos there? boo. whos there? boo! Oh I guess I didn't hear
> you the first time. What is your middle name? too. what is your last
> name?You. "Boo Too Me? DOH!"
>
> Rob Knopper
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> You Half To Go In The Bathroom And You Dad Dosn't Want You To He Says
> Spell The Alphebet For Him Before You Go In. You Say
> ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ Where's The P? It's Running Down My Leg!!
>
> Rob Knopper
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Irishman driving down the road, got pulled over by the same policeman,
> policeman said," you're drunk.", the driver said, "thank god for that,
> I thought the steering had gone."
>
> mike s
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Irishman driving down the road, got pulled over by a policeman,
> policeman said, "your wife fell out the car 5 miles back, the man
> replied, " thank god for that" i'd thought i'd gone deaf!"
>
> mike s
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> How did Women get their name? After God created them he said "Whoa
> Man!"
>
> Chris Roy
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then
> he sees a chinese man and punches him in the face. "Owch!" the chinese
> man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish
> man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the
> difference?" And the jewish man sits back down. Then, the chinese man
> walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the
> Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the
> chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg,
> what's the difference?"
>
> Emily Elizabeth Jones
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. What do elephants use as tampons A. Sheep!
>
> Thomas Halverson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. Why is Ray Charles always smiling A. He doesn't know he's black
>
> Thomas Halverson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q. What's the difference between a hooker and a computer? A. A
> computer can take a 3 1/2 floppy
>
> Thomas Halverson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> For men whose wives go through their pockets: i have a newspaper
> article about a man who killed his wife for going through his pockets
> which i leave in my pocket occasionally
>
> dweaver
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> If you can't swim is it necessary to wait a half hour after eating
> before going in the water?
>
> dweaver
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: how did kato spend his spare time the first few days following his
> testimony? A: searching the mansion for nicole
>
> dweaver
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> O.J. Simpsons Web page: http:///.\\.//.\.esc
>
> Brett Kantack
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> O.J. and Heidi Fleiss were golfing last Monday. I hear they didn't do
> so good though. O.J. kept on slicing and Heidi kept on hooking.
>
> Brian Padalino
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Did you hear O.J. was getting married again? Yeah, he wants to take
> another stab at it.
>
> Brian Padalino
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What is sweet and yet very strong ?
>
> Alfred D. McMickle
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> There are two things a man cherishes the most in life, what is it.
>
> Edward Seok
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> The band was playing, a man was walking, the band stopped, the man
> died, what happened?
>
> Edward Seok
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> There was a man in a suit, there was a hole in the suit. He died, what
> happened?
>
> Edward Seok
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What was wrong with the wooden car? It wooden go.
>
> Paul Sinclair
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Who won the monster beauty-contest? Nobody.
>
> Paul Sinclair
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> There were two peanuts walking down the road. One was assaulted.
>
> Paul Sinclair
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> How does a mail chauvinist change a light bulb? "Let the bitch cook in
> the dark."
>
> eric june
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What does OJ stand for? Orange Jumpsuit.
>
> eric june
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why did they get rid of OJ costumes? Cuz the gloves dont fit.
>
> eric june
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What are the black things between an elephants toes? Slow
> natives!!!!!!
>
> Chris McIlree
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants? So people could read her
> lips!!!!!!
>
> Chris McIlree
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
> Snowballs!!!!!!
>
> Chris McIlree
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in their
> ear.
>
> Lisa Weames
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A man ran in to a store and said, "I need a drink of water!" The
> manager pulled a gun on him and the man said, "Thank you." WHY?????
>
> geoffrey barton
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A man ran in to a store and said, "I need a drink of water!" The
> manager pulled a gun on him and the man said, "Thank you." WHY?????
> ANSWER-THE GUY HAD THE HICCUPPS AND THE SHOCK CURED HIM
>
> geoffrey barton
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why did the chicken cross the road? ANSWER-TO SHOW THE OPPOSSOM HOW
> IT'S DONE
>
> geoffrey barton
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What do you call a doubly sweet peacmaker? ANSWER-SUCROSE SUCROSE
> GALLI
>
> geoffrey barton
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Global warming - It's not the heat, it's the humanity !
>
> david matthew wirth
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> If you've heard one cliche, you've heard 'em all.
>
> david matthew wirth
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Is Doublemint gum the result of a cloning exspearmint ?
>
> david matthew wirth
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why does it take three Women with PMT to change just one lightbulb? IT
> JUST DOES!! OK?!?!?
>
> David Richardson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A furry cup.
>
> David Richardson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
>
> David Richardson
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless
> Mommy. God bless Daddy. God bless Grammy. Goodby Grampa." Well, the
> father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next
> day, the Grandfather died. About a month or two later the father hear
> his son saying his prayers again "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy.
> GoodBye Grammy." The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father
> was getting more that a little woried about the whole situation. Two
> weeks later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers. "God
> Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy." This alone nearly gave the father a
> heart attack. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to
> work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch
> and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive!
> When he got home he appologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had
> a very bad day at work today." "You think you've had a bad day?" "YOU
> THINK YOU"VE HAD A BAD DAY!?", the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped
> dead on my doorstep this morning!"
>
> Laura Napolil
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A man sits down at a resturant and looks at the menu. He tells the
> waiter "I think I will have the turtle soup". The waiter leaves, but
> the man changes his mind to pea soup. He yells to the waiter "Hold the
> turtle, make it pea"
>
> Laura Napolil
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> A man walks into a bar and says ouch.
>
> Laura Napolil
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q:How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: three .
> one to screw in the bulb, one to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the
> bathtub with brightly colored power-tools.
>
> torin williams
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> "I'm not sure if I'm a homosexual", said Tom, half in Ernest.
>
> James R. Turner
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep sexual deviants from committing homosexual acts? A:
> Put them all in straight jackets.
>
> James A. Hall
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> [Image]\nFrom: Alexander Vigodner on Mon Nov 6 03:43:39 PST 1995 :
> * One young diplomat comes at his first diplomatic party. He sees a
> lot of great delicacy and begins to eat and drink with avidity and
> loud munching. Once he puts attention on a very aristocratic
> gentelman, which does not eat and drink. -Why don't you eat this great
> fish or caviar? - Thank you, I don't want. But why don't you drink
> this great wine?! Thank you, I don't want.-But, why?! -You know, my
> young frend, I eat and drink only if I really want to do this.-
> But,...you, ..you are an animal!
> * A man comes home and finds his wife with a lover which looks like
> Shwarcaneger. The lover takes the husband, goes to the kitchen, draws
> the circle on the floor and says:"I come back to your wife to make
> love and if you come out from the circle, you are dead." 20 minuts
> later the lover hears the husband's voice: "Aga, while you there are
> making love, I already three times came out from the circle! "
> [Image]\nFrom: Brandon M. Nokes on Mon Nov 6 09:45:41 PST 1995:
> * what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor
> [Image]\nFrom: on Wed Nov 8 06:32:16 PST 1995 :
> * Did you hear that the American Trial Lawyers Association has decided
> to relocate its national headquarters? They're moving to Sioux City
> (Sue City) [Image]\nFrom: W. J. Cassady on Wed Nov 8 06:33:20 PST
> 1995:
> * Did you hear that the American Trial Lawyers Association has decided
> to relocate its national headquarters? They're moving to Sioux City
> (Sue City) [Image]\nFrom: RICCO WILLIAMS on Wed Nov 8 13:51:24 PST
> 1995:
> * CAN YOU SLAM DUNK WITH ROLLER BLADE WITHOUT THE RAMP ? YES I CAN.
> LET ME TELL YOU . FIRST THING IS TO GET ELEVATOR THEN YOU CAN CHOOSE
> THE LEVEL WHAT YOU WANT TO REACH THE RIM.
> * I STILL WONDER HOW MICHEAL JORDAN CAN JUMPER HIGH ? I JUST FOUND OUT
> THAT HE USED AIR PRESSURE MATERALS IN HIS CALF. [Image]\nFrom: mike
> jones on Wed Nov 8 19:59:57 PST 1995 :
> * your daddy is so small he held his breath and blew up [Image]\nFrom:
> L.E. Van Lear on Thu Nov 9 07:37:45 PST 1995 :
> * Bill was walking to the 7-11 to get a Slurpy. He passed by a tennis
> court, and found a brand new tennis ball laying in the grass by the
> side walk. He picked up the ball and could not find anyone at the
> tennis court to return the new ball to, so he stuck the ball in his
> pocket and continued to walk to the 7-11. He finally made it to the
> store, walked back to the Slurpy machine, pumped out a cup full of
> Slurpy and took it to the counter to pay for it. The clerk behind the
> counter asked what was wrong with Bill, pointing to his pants. He
> answered "tennis ball". The clerk replied "Boy, that must really hurt,
> I had tennis elbow once and it about killed me!" [Image]\nFrom:
> Douglas Manness on Thu Nov 9 17:29:26 PST 1995 :
> * Why is it when you dial a wrong number, it is never busy.
> * A psychologist is a man you pay to ask questions your wife asks you
> for nothing.
> * When a doctor X-rays the lungs of a dog, what do you think he finds?
> The seat of his trousers!! [Image]\nFrom: Jerry Dewitt on Thu Nov 9
> 23:13:18 PST 1995 :
> * Immanual Kant but Kubla Kahn
> * Flash! Simpson web site at //\escape! [Image]\nFrom: George Ljultasi
> on Fri Nov 10 07:43:38 PST 1995 :
> * Three rats are having a chat. The first rat says "I'm so tough, I
> can eat rat poison and it dosen't phase me!". The second rat says "I'm
> so tough, I can eat broken glass and it wouldn't phase me!". The third
> rat says "Look you guys are just too tough for me, I think I'll just
> go home and skrew the cat."
> * Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the
> second koala fall out of the tree? The first koala hit it. Why did the
> third koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a new fad. Why did
> the kangaroo die? Three bloody koalas hit it.
> * God said to Adam "How would you like a mate who is kind, loyal,
> understanding and respectful?" Adam replies "OK. But what is it going
> to cost me?" God said "Only an arm and a leg." Adam then said "That
> sounds a bit steep. What do I get for a rib?" [Image]\nFrom: George
> Ljultasi on Fri Nov 10 07:54:54 PST 1995 :
> * What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen? Swap you a ten for two
> fives.
> * What does a 500 pound parrot say? Polly wants a craker - NOW!
> * A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his sholder. The
> barman says "What an exquisite creature! Where did you get it?"
> "Africa." replied the parrot. [Image]\nFrom: Josef Iaci on Fri Nov 10
> 12:59:44 PST 1995 :
> * Why did the sheep jump off the cliff? He didn't see the 'ewe' turn.
> * Why do golfers always bring two pairs of pants? In case they get a
> 'hole in one'.
> * A man walked into a bar.......ouch! [Image]\nFrom: Susan M. Deneke
> on Fri Nov 10 13:14:38 PST 1995 :
> * Overheard in an airport from a young man trying to impress a girl:
> You know that sushi stuff? I tried some last night. Took it home &
> cooked it right up. Wasn't bad, tasted just like fish! [Image]\nFrom:
> Mike Morris on Fri Nov 10 18:30:11 PST 1995 :
> * License plate on a Volkswagen Beetle: FEATURE (remember, when asked,
> the programmer said:"It's a feature, not a bug!")
> * If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the oposite of PROGRESS?
> * There's one function key missing on every computer I've ever seen:
> RUM. Read User's Mind. [Image]\nFrom: on Fri Nov 10 19:50:43 PST 1995
> :
> * What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
> * How many lawyers does it take to put in a lightbulb? How many can
> you afford?
> * What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good
> start. [Image]\nFrom: Kristin And Lauren on Sat Nov 11 10:38:10 PST
> 1995 :
> * how do you know when a blond been at your computer ? theres white
> out marks on the screen!!!
> * what has four wheels and flies? a garbage truck!!!!!!!
> * why did the chiken cross the road? to show the possum it was
> possible [Image]\nFrom: Alan Osterholtz on Sat Nov 11 23:03:07 PST
> 1995 :
> * I tell you I had a joke in mind and then I lost it. (my mind that
> is) [Image]\nFrom: on Mon Nov 13 09:30:16 PST 1995 :
> * A guy in a restaurant yells to the waiter, "Hey, there's a fly in my
> soup." The waiter replies, "It's possible. The cook used to be a
> tailor." [Image]\nFrom: Darren Olson on Mon Nov 13 14:09:40 PST 1995 :
> * Why did the blond climb the glass wall? /To see what was on the
> other side.
> * Hoe do you get a blond out of a tree? / Wave
> * What do you call a blond with half a brian? /gifted [Image]\nFrom:
> Richard Littlefield on Mon Nov 13 14:28:39 PST 1995 :
> * Once upon a time there were three donut men that came to America
> from a foreign land. They each knew only one line of English: The
> first was "50 cents." The second was "Fresh, very fresh." The third
> was "That's okay, I don't care." Well one day a man came in the store.
> "How much are your donuts?" he asked. "50 cents," replied the
> donutman. "Are they fresh?" "Fresh, very fresh," replied the second.
> "I don't think I'll have one today," said the man. "That's okay, I
> don't care," replied the third. That evening, the donut store was
> robbed. The police met with the donutmen the next day to ask a few
> questions. "How much was stolen?" All the donutman could say was "50
> cents." "Are you trying to get fresh with me?" said the cop. "Fresh,
> very fresh, said the second. "How would you like to go to jail?" came
> the question. And of course you know the answer, "THAT'S OKAY, I DON'T
> CARE! [Image]\nFrom: pam wipperfurth on Tue Nov 14 07:43:46 PST 1995 :
> * What president will be on the next dollar bill. (Bill) Clinton
> * What did the banana tree say to the coconut tree when he heard a
> hurricane was coming. You better hang on to

--------------6E7B3E79BC9--

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages