student humor
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
V konce ekzamena,kogda proffesor uzhe sobiralsya domoji, v auditoriiu
zashel slegka poshatyvaiuschijisya stadent.
Zapletaiuschimsya yazykom on proiznes:
- Izvinite, proffesor,ne mogli by vy prinyat' ekzamen u odnogo slegka
p'yanogo studenta?
Professor posmotrel na nego s grust'iu .
- Hren s vami,valyajite!
Student povarachivaetsya v storonu dveri:
Rebyata,zanosite ego...........
Smeyat'sya posle slova lopata.
LOPATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
goga(:)
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
Vstrechaiutsya dve babki:
- A u menya vchera noch'iu ogorod obchistili- govorit odna.
- Mozhet eto studenty byli?
- Da net, chto ty, sledy-to chelovecheskie.....
*
Prihodit muzhik k telemasteru.
- Chto sluchilos' ? - sprashivaet master.
-Da, vot sizhu vchera u televizora,palochkoij v uhe kovyryaiu i vdrug zvuk
propal.
- Kak vy dumaete: mozhno ego pochinit' ?.......
*
V reanimacionnom otdelenii:
Pacient: - Doktor, ya zhit' budu ?
Doctor: 50/ 50, no Vy nuzhdaetes' v operativnom vmeshatel'stve.Seijchas vam
dadut narkoz i Vy usnete, a my Vas prooperiruem.
.......................
Assistent: - Vasya, on usnul.
Doctor: - Stavim po pyaterke. Sdavaij stadent- tvoya ochered'......
*
1917 god. Na ulicah Petrograda TOLPY. Lenin na bronevike,- on proiznosit
rech':
- Tovagischi! Nasha cel' opgokinut' i zadushit' mirovuiu bugzhuaziiu!
- Vchera my vzyali Zimniij, pozavchera Smol'nyij, Zavtra my voz'mem esche
chego- nibud'!
- A segodnya, - on ottyagivaet podtyazhki i s rezkim zvukom otpuskaet ih,
SEGODNYA - DISKOTEKA !!!!!! More dance rabochie and krest'yane!
*
V armii.
Praporschik: - Ryadovoij Polovoij ?!!
- Ya !!!!
- Srochno vymyt' pol v kazarme !!!!
- Chem ??
- Tryapkoij !!
- Kakoij ??
- Polovoij !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Ya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*
Starshina : - Nu, ty ryadovoij,pochemu sapogi ne chischeny ?!
Ryadovoij : - A ebet tebya chto- li !
Starshina : - Chto ?!!!! Ty kak razgovarivaesh' so starshim po zvaniiu,
skotina ?!!! Da ya tebya.......! Da ya tebe......!! Na gubu!! V disbat!
V......! ZH.......v......p....!.......!
Ryadovoij :- Vaksy net, tovarisch' gvardii starshina !
Starshina :- A ebet menya chto-li ?!
Ryadovoij :- A ya Vam chto govoril........
*
Bonal'nye anekdty ? "Bonal'nost'" ot slova "banan" => banan- eto banal'no.
Kushat' banany - eto banal'no, a ya ih pochemu-to lubliu. Ya em banany i
rasskazyvaiu (a tak zhe sochinyaiu) banal'nye anekdoty. Ya chelovek banal'
nyiji esli vy budete menya chitat' toshe stanete banal'nymi sub'ektami.
Mne nravitsya chitat' pochtu Mishi Fligenko i eto uzhe ne banal'no.
On chelovek ne bonal'nuij i bananov est v meru.
goga.)
Sergey Vakulenko
I vse b horosho, esli bynizhe sleduyuschij anekdot ne byl TAKIM
borodatym. Drugi moi, emu 650 let kak minimum... V nemnogo izmenennoj
versii ego mozhno najti v Dekamerone...
> Slovom, delo bylo tak....
>
> Prosnulsya kak-to mushik utrom i oschutil kakuiu-to strannuiu slabost v
>oblasti shivota, a delo bylo s pohmel'ya.
>Reshil on otpravitsya k nasheij slavnoij i,togda esche besplatnoij medicine.
>Da s p'yanu, a moshet po kakoij drugoij prichine okazalsya, govorya
>obscheprinyatym yazykom, v ginekologicheskom kabinete.
>Vrach ne nashel nichego strannogo v tom, chto k nemu na ogonek zaglyanula
>shenschina mushskogo pola- on toshe byl s bo-o-o-o-l'shogo pohmel'ya.
>Osmotrev dovol'no ob`emistyij shivot pacienta, doktor izrek:
>-Da vy beremenny,dorogusha!
>Momental'no protrezvev ot etoij sakramental'noij frazy doktora mushik
>stremglav brosilsya domoij.
>Vzlomav dver' udarom plecha, on s poroga zaoral shene:
>-Nu chto, doprygalas' dura? Ya zaberemenel! A vse ty seksual'naya man'-
>yachka :"ya sverhu, nu moshno ya sverhu".
> goga.)
Alexander Korzun
Odin stal za eto vremja professorom, a drugoj - direktorom
mebel'noj fabriki. Director rasskazyvaet:
- Byl so mnoj takoj sluchaj: edu v poezde, v SV vagone.
Sosedka - inostranka. Ty ved' znaesh', chto ja i po-russki
ploxo govorju. No ja beru svoj bloknot, risuju butylku
s 3 zvjozdami. Ona kivaet golovoj, ja dostaju iz diplomata
butylku 3-zv. kon'jaka, i my ego paspivaem.
Cherez nekotoroe vremja ja risuju v bloknote butylku s 4-mja
zvezdami, ona kivaet golovoj, i my p'em butylku 4-zvezd. kon'jaka.
[istorija povtorjaetsja s 5-zv. konjakom].
Potom ona beret moj bloknot, risuet tam krovat'. Ty ved' professor -
chelovek umnyj, - ob'asni mne: otkuda zhe ona uznala, chto ja -
direktor mebel'noj fabriki???
--
................................................
Alexander Korzun
EED, University of Oulu, SF 90570, OULU, Finland
Tel. +358-81-5532792 E-mail kor...@ee.oulu.fi
George Chesakov
|>
|> -Nu chto, doprygalas' dura? Ya zaberemenel! A vse ty seksual'naya man'-
|> yachka :"ya sverhu, nu moshno ya sverhu".
Etot sjuzhet esche u Boccaccio byl.
--
naive
Stupidity is a choice.
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
vspomniot' chto-to podobnoe mne trebuetsya opredelennoe sostoyanie dushi.
Vot odin anekdot, kotoryij mozhet pretendovat' na opredelennuiu origenal'
nost', no s Vashim Sergeij on sopernichat' ne mozhet.
Slovom delo bylo tak....
Idet eksamen v medinstitute. Otlichniki davno ushe otstrelyalis', a "
serednyachki" i vse ostal'nye otlichniki chuvstvuiut sebya dovol'no
nevazhno.
Vdrug prfessor vpav v skuku proiznosit:
- Kto nazovet tri stepeni ohueniya, poluchit pyaterku
Mezhdu ryadami studentov pochustvovalos' ozhivlenie.
Podnyalsya samyij dogadlivyij i otstaiuschiij student.
-Vy poobeschali professor- napomnil on i kogda professor kivnul prodolzhil:
-Zvonit muzhik iz telefona avtomata po neznakomomu telefonu i sprashivaet
Vovu. Emu otvechaiut, chto takovoij zdes\ ne prozhivaet i prosyat kupit'
baraban i vozglavit' sherengu iduschih izvestno kuda....
-Eto byla 1-ya stepen' ohueniya- govorit student.
- Na sleduiuschiij den' kakoij-to muzhik opyat' zvonit po tomu zhe
adresu..
Tak prodolzhaetsya v techenie nedeli, kazhdyij den' kto-to zvonit i
sprashivaet Vovu ili prosit chto-to emu peredat'.Otvetnye frazy hozyaev
stanovyatsya vse agressivnee i zlee.
- Eto 2-ya stepen' ohueniya.
- Na ishode 2-go mesyaca, kogda hozyaeva uzhe podumyvaiut o pereezde
"kuda-nibud' k chertu, gde net telefona" zvonit kakoij-to muzhik i
zadushevnym golosom proiznosit:
- Zrasste, ya Vova,MNE NE ZVONILI ?......
Kak vy dogadalis' eto byla 3-ya stepen' i okonchanie etogo bonal'nogo
anekdota.
Roman Kostin
Vsevolod Ilyushchenko <sim...@cs.montana.edu> wrote:
>< Yet another MFTI joke >
OK, and here is the true story which happenned to me while I was a student
there. I was way behind the schedule with the probability theory, did not
do any homers but needed a "pass" badly. So, I talked to my tutor and he
agreed to run a quick oral quiz. Apparently, he wasnt very concentrated
and for a minute or so he was thinking what to ask. Then, a smiled appeared
on his face and his question was:
- What's the probability of the "third queen" (tret'ej damy)?
- 4/19 - was my answer.
- Pass (zachet).
>Vsevolod,
>former physisist,
>now a computer geek.
--
Kostin,
the same
Sergei Zaloukaev
: Cool joke,Sergeij! Ya podobnyh anekdotov znaiu malo i obychno chtoby
: Vot odin anekdot, kotoryij mozhet pretendovat' na opredelennuiu origenal'
: nost', no s Vashim Sergeij on sopernichat' ne mozhet.
: Slovom delo bylo tak....
: Idet eksamen v medinstitute. Otlichniki davno ushe otstrelyalis', a "
: serednyachki" i vse ostal'nye otlichniki chuvstvuiut sebya dovol'no
: nevazhno.
A chego!? Klevij anekdot, nechego pribedniatsia, Igor'! :))
unrelated anekdot (iz zhizni narkomanov :)
dva narkomana edut na mashine, pervij:
-oj, oj, babushka idet! tormozi skoree, babushka zhe!!.... a chert! zadavil babushku :(
edut dalshe:
-oj,oj, malchik idet!! tormozi, tormozi! zadavish ved'.... a chert! zadavil malchika :(
dalshe:
-oj,oj! devochka idet tormozi! tormozi, tormozi skoree!!!
-nu chego pristal!? u tebia tormoz - ty i tormozi!!!
Enjoy :))
-Sergei
--
vot tvoja bol', tak puskaj ona stanet krylom.
lebedinnaja stal' v oblakax
eshe zhdet. -BG
Igor Mazin
>
> - What's the probability of the "third queen" (tret'ej damy)?
>
> - 4/19 - was my answer.
>
> - Pass (zachet).
>
Hm. I'd not pass. My first impression is that answer is wrong.
Michael G. Minkovski
A ia esche i voprosa ne ponial. Veroiatnost' chego: polucheniia tret'ei damy
na sdache ili togo, chto ona sygraet?
...The Wind that blows between the Worlds, it cut him like a knife...
R.K.
Sergey Vakulenko
>In article <3h9ckg$l...@pdq.coe.montana.edu>,
>Vsevolod Ilyushchenko <sim...@cs.montana.edu> wrote:
>>< Yet another MFTI joke >
>OK, and here is the true story which happenned to me while I was a student
>there. I was way behind the schedule with the probability theory, did not
>do any homers but needed a "pass" badly. So, I talked to my tutor and he
>agreed to run a quick oral quiz. Apparently, he wasnt very concentrated
>and for a minute or so he was thinking what to ask. Then, a smiled appeared
>on his face and his question was:
> - What's the probability of the "third queen" (tret'ej damy)?
> - 4/19 - was my answer.
> - Pass (zachet).
Ugu. A na tom zhe samom fiztehe my na pervom kurse pisali pulyu v koridore
i obsuzhdali zadumchivyj mizerok. Na shum podvalila para pyatikurov i tozhe
stala obsuzhdat'. I zashel vopros o semerke v prikupe. Pyatikury kak odin
zayavlyali chto 1/2. Libo ee tam est', libo ee tam net.
Vprochem, navernyaka oni prosto stebalis' nad molodnyakom. A mozhet, togo,
vser'ez? A mozhet, ono i vpravdu tak?
Serega
Poor little fish
> In article <igor.155....@gribb.hsr.no>, ig...@gribb.hsr.no (Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.) writes:
> |>
> |> -Nu chto, doprygalas' dura? Ya zaberemenel! A vse ty seksual'naya man'-
> |> yachka :"ya sverhu, nu moshno ya sverhu".
>
> Etot sjuzhet esche u Boccaccio byl.
Shutite, shutite ;)
nedavno poluchil ot odnogo priyatelya sleduuschee:
: My rommate happened to be a really naive 17-year old guy. He still
: believes that a guy can get pregnant, if the girl gets on a top and comes
: first.
Nu kak? Anegdot? ili kak?..
-W,yka.
_____ _ _ __ ____ _ _ __ _ _ __ _____
| __ | | | | |/ / | __| | |_| | \ \| | | |/ / | _ |
| ___| | | | < | _| | | | |_ _\ | | < | _ |
|_| |_| |_|\_\ |____| |______ | |____| |_|\_\ |_| |_|
CONSTANTIN N ZHIKHAREV
>rom...@clark.net (Roman Kostin) writes:
>>OK, and here is the true story which happenned to me while I was a student
>>there. I was way behind the schedule with the probability theory, did not
>>do any homers but needed a "pass" badly. So, I talked to my tutor and he
>>agreed to run a quick oral quiz. Apparently, he wasnt very concentrated
>>and for a minute or so he was thinking what to ask. Then, a smiled appeared
>>on his face and his question was:
>> - What's the probability of the "third queen" (tret'ej damy)?
>> - 4/19 - was my answer.
>> - Pass (zachet).
>Ugu. A na tom zhe samom fiztehe my na pervom kurse pisali pulyu v koridore
>i obsuzhdali zadumchivyj mizerok. Na shum podvalila para pyatikurov i tozhe
>stala obsuzhdat'. I zashel vopros o semerke v prikupe. Pyatikury kak odin
>zayavlyali chto 1/2. Libo ee tam est', libo ee tam net.
>Vprochem, navernyaka oni prosto stebalis' nad molodnyakom. A mozhet, togo,
>vser'ez? A mozhet, ono i vpravdu tak?
Stebalis', stebalis'. I chto za stil' - pulyu v koridore pisat'?
A vot zadachka, mne v svoe vremya ona ochen' ponravilas'. U Vas
na rukah (s prikupom) - tuz, dama, desyat' vo vseh mastyah. Naj-
ti maksimum , kotoryj mozhno zapisat' v pulyu s takoj fishkoj.
Zhikharev.
Valery Smelyansky
In article <3horsm$1m...@fidoii.cc.lehigh.edu>,
CONSTANTIN N ZHIKHAREV <cn...@Lehigh.EDU> wrote:
> [deleted] Kakoj preferans
> predpochitaete - Sochi , Piter , Rostov ili (vot gde nervy nuzhny)
> Klassiku? (-8
Khotya vopros i ne ko mne, otvechu:
Nikakoi. Predpochitau Contract Bridge.
Chego i vam zhelau.
BC
CONSTANTIN N ZHIKHAREV
>>>>>> {veroyatnost' treyt'yej damy - 4/19
>OK, you probably want me to do it, so I'll do it.
>
>Probability of 3 cards of the same suit to be on one particular 10 card
>hand of the two:
>
> 1/2 (for the first one) * 9/19 (for the second one) * 8/18
> (for the 3rd one) = 2/19.
>
>Multiply it by 2 'cause you have 2 hands and get 4/19.
Roman, s tochki zrenija prepodavatelya teorii verojatnosti -
vse chisto. No my govorim "tret'ya dama" podrazumevaja nekij
rasklad ( T,K,V ili T,K,dve malki - kozyr' i dama nichem ne
pilitsya i t.d. ) To est', iznachal'no predpolagaetsya nali-
chie u odnogo iz igrajushih kakogo-to kolichestva kart dan-
noj masti. I tut ne vse tak prosto. No eto i nevazhno - kto
vo vremya igry pro teoriju verojatnosti vspominaet. Znaval
odnogo takogo - bol'shie summy proigryval.
Zhikharev.
CONSTANTIN N ZHIKHAREV
Uvazhaju.
Zhikharev.
Poor little fish
> A ia esche i voprosa ne ponial. Veroiatnost' chego: polucheniia tret'ei damy
> na sdache ili togo, chto ona sygraet?
Well, ya tak dumau, chto veroyatnost' (vzyavshii prikup - dumaet) togo,
chto u vistuuschego (potentsial'nogo) est' na rukah tret'ya dama v kozire :)
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
Slovom delo bylo tak....
Edet kovboij po prerii.
Vidit razvesistoe duplistoe derevo, stvol kotorogo ves' obezobrazhen
pulyami i oskolkami ruchnyh granat; vokrug dereva voronki.
Kovboij pod`ezzhaet i suet golovu v duplo.
Emu pristavlyaiut nozh k gorlu.
- Sosi!
Cherez nekotoroe vremya kovboij ot`ezzhaet ot dereva na pochtitel'noe
rasstoyanie. Dostaet kol'ty- rasstrelivaet derevo, zabrasyvaetego stvol
granatami.
Snova pod`ezzhaet k nemu, zasovyvaet v duplo golovu.
- A, my znali chto tebe ponravitsya.....
*
Mne ochen' studno za takoij anekdot. Ya dazhe pokrasnel,- chto ya delaiu
dovol'no redko. Proshu eto zanesti v Protokol.
goga:)
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
( ne liubliu eto slovo).
Ulichnyij reporter podhodit k odnomu iz nih(samomu hmuromu) :
- Skazhite, pozhaluijsta,molodoij chelovek chto-nibud' etakoe,
prazdnichnoe?!
- Da poshel ka ty .....
- Vot tak: chutkami, pribautkami vsrechaiut studenty Pervoe Maya.
*
"In the publik house to die, is my resolution,
Let wine to my lips be high, at life's dissolution.
That will make the angels cry, with glad elocution,
'Grant this drunkard, Good on high, grace and
absolution!"
goga.)
Kotlyarevsky, Igor V.
Molozhavyij semidesyatiletniij starik polivaet zvet na balkone 16-tietazhnogo
doma.
- Didu, kvitu zh pov`yanut'- govorit ego vnuk, nabliudaiuschiij za dedom
sidya v komnate.
- Nu ij chort z nymy,- zato "shmaijser" ne zarzhavie- govorit ded i
prodolzhaet polivat' cvety mashinnym maslom....
*
Mezhdu RAEM I ADOM
Stoyat dva muzhika v ocheredi na raspredelenie(toli v R., toli v A.)
Ochered' dlinnaya, stoyat' dolgo i reshili oni nemnogo perekurit',- na etot
sluchaij odin iz nih pripas "puzyrek" i neobhodimye emkosti.
No voznikla odna problema,- muzhiki nuzhdalis' v tret'em sobutyl'nike.
Problema bystro razreshilas'- stoyaschiij nepodaleku paren' poobeschal
pomoch'.
Seli oni, razlili i vdrug paren' ischez. Muzhiki otoropeli, opustili
stakany. Neozhidanno "tretiij" opyat' poyavilsya.
- Slushaij, ty pit' budesh'?
- Konechno- govorit paren'i snova ischezaet.
Muzhiki nachali zlit'sya....
Tak paren' ischezal i snova poyavlyalsya raza chetyre.
Dvum ego sobutyl'nikam eto nadoelo.
- Slushaij, parazit, ili ty budesh'pit' ili my drugogo naijdem!
- Da budu ya, budu! Zaebala eta REONIMACIYA!
goga :)
Igor Mazin
>In article <Pine.ULT.3.90.950214...@bcuxs2.bc.edu> Poor little fish <ge...@bcuxs2.bc.edu> writes:
>
>
>>On Sun, 12 Feb 1995, Michael G. Minkovski wrote:
>
>>> A ia esche i voprosa ne ponial. Veroiatnost' chego: polucheniia tret'ei damy
>>> na sdache ili togo, chto ona sygraet?
>
>>Well, ya tak dumau, chto veroyatnost' (vzyavshii prikup - dumaet) togo,
>>chto u vistuuschego (potentsial'nogo) est' na rukah tret'ya dama v kozire :)
>
>And Kostin's figure is correct, obviously.
>Mogu dobavit', chto veroiatnost' prihoda na sdache iz 32 po 10 i 2 v prikup v
>tochnosti (ne hotia by!) _odnoi_ tret'ei damy 0.451 (okruglenno) (ia tak
Eto bol'she pohozhe na istinu. Tka pri chem tut 4/19?
>ponial vopros i poschital - tozhe prosto).
>
Igor Mazin
>
>
>Luchshe skazhite v kakom sluchae kozyrnoi tuz ne igraet.
>
>SS
>
I ty u swoej shutki sostrigi borodu.
Poor little fish
> SS (s...@ee.port.ac.uk) wrote:
>
> : Luchshe skazhite v kakom sluchae kozyrnoi tuz ne igraet.
>
>
> A v kakom?
A... eto bil anegdot takoi:
Posle 6-ika bez treh:
- Kstati, gospoda, pochemu ne sigral moi kozirnii ruz?!
- Raskladets, baten'ka, raskladets...
Pertsel Vladimir
In article <3hnln9$g...@explorer.clark.net>, rom...@clark.net (Roman Kostin) writes:
|> In article <3hn2vs$d...@fidoii.cc.lehigh.edu>,
|> CONSTANTIN N ZHIKHAREV <cn...@Lehigh.EDU> wrote:
|> >
|> > A vot zadachka, mne v svoe vremya ona ochen' ponravilas'. U Vas
|> > na rukah (s prikupom) - tuz, dama, desyat' vo vseh mastyah. Naj-
|> > ti maksimum , kotoryj mozhno zapisat' v pulyu s takoj fishkoj.
|>
|>
|> A Q 10
|> A Q 10
|> A Q 10
|> 10 -> (A Q)
|>
|> K J 9 8 7
|> K J 9 8 7
|> K J 9 8 7
|> J 9 8 7 K
|>
|> I vyhod v 10 cherv.
|>
|> > Zhikharev.
|>
|> --
|> Kostin
|>
Vot vam do kuchi mizer Ed. Laskera. Brata togo Em. Laskera.
(Ed., hotya i ne stal, chempionom, no odnu bessmertnuyu
shahmatnuyu partiyu vse zhe sygral. S Tomasom)
Zadachka, konechno staraya, no krasivaya i pouchitel'naya:
Skol'ko vzyatok mozhno dat' na mizere verhnemu igroky,
esli pervyj hod sleva?
8 -> (K T)
8 9
7 8 9
7 8 9 10
7 10 9 V D
7 T 10 V D K
10 V K T D
D T V K
A vot sluchaj iz zhizni. Byl u nas odin igrok-tugodum.
Ego do takoj stepeni zadurili trebovaniem hodit'
bystree, chto on, imeya na mizere kartu
7, 9, V, D, K, T; 7, 9, V, D, K, T so svoim hodom,
vyshel s semerki (On *ochen'* dolgo dumal, s chego
shodit', a ostal'nye \etim vozmushchalis') ---
i polluchil 8 vzyatok. (Detal' -- dva tuza prishli
v prikupe -- i vse snachala smeyalis', potom on snes
dve postoronnih devyatki -- a oni obe ne lovilis'
voobshche.)
P.S.
A ne otkryt' li nam kursy po preferansu?
Obuchayushchimsya --- stipendiya.
V razmere poloviny proigrysha.
--
/\ /\ Vladimir A. Pertsel
((ovo)) Tel:(972) 03-5600253 (res.) 08-344303 (bus.)
():::() URL ftp://ftp.wisdom.weizmann.ac.il/pub/voldemar/pertsel.html
PVA E-mail: vold...@wisdom.weizmann.ac.il
Pertsel Vladimir
A vot starye preferansnye anekdoty:
Na tom svete troe pishut pulyu. Podhodit chetvertyj.
Prosit, chtoby ego vzyali. Troe rasschityvayut pulyu,
chertyat na chetveryh. Chetvertyj kuda-to ischez.
Zhdali dolgo. Stali snova igrat' vtroyom. Snova podhodit
chetvertyj. Prosit, chtoby ego vzyali. Troe rasschityvayut
pulyu, chertyat na chetveryh. Chetvertyj opyat' kuda-to
ischez. Zhdali dolgo. Stali snova igrat' vtroyom. Snova
podhodit chetvertyj. Troe vozmushchayutsya: "Muzhik, nu
nelzya zhe tak shutit'". Chetvertyj: "\Eto, rebyata, ne ya.
\Eto reanimatsiya".
Horonyat preferansista. Vzyal na mizere pyat' vzyatok i
umer ot rasstrojstva. Za grobom idut druz'ya-preferansisty
i rassuzhdayut: "Pokojnichku-to eshchyo povezlo --- vot
esli by ya poshel v bubnu..!"
Sud. Sudyat preferansista,kotoryj ubil partnyora.
Sud'ya prosit rasskazat' kak delo bylo.
Preferansist: "Igraem raspas.
Ya v pichku -- lysyj v pichku -- pokojnichek --- v bubnu.
Ya v pichku -- lysyj v pichku -- pokojnichek --- v bubnu.
Ya v bubnu -- lysyj v bubnu -- pokojnichek --- v pichku..."
Sud'ya: "Tak kandelyabrom zhe za \eto!"
Preferansist: "Ya tak i sdelal..."
Sud'ya: "Opravdat'!!!"
.....
Vrode mnogo bylo takih anekdotov. Zabyvayutsya...
Aga!
Na stantsii provodnitsa zovet v vagon militsionera,
potomu, chto dva passazhira bespreryvno plyuyutsya.
Militsioner zhodit v kupe. Dejstvitel'no, dva passazhira
bespreryvno plyuyutsya, povtoryaya pri \etom: "T'fy, nu
ona i igraet!". Militsioner ne mozhet ih ostanovit' i,
primeniv silu, dostavlyaet ih v otdelenie. Muzhiki
tam nemnogo prishli v sebya i rasskazyvayut:
"Edem v kupe vdvoyom. Zahodit devushka. Sprashivaet,
chto my takie mrachnye. Otvechaem, chto tret'ego
ne mozhem najti. Ona i predlozhi, sostavit' nam
kompaniyu. My sduru i lyapni -- esli my vyjgraem,
ty nam otdash'sya. Ona nam --- ladno, no esli vyjgrayu
ya --- vy beryote min'et drug u druga. T'fy, nu
ona i igraet!"
Pertsel Vladimir
In article <D43HC...@info.bris.ac.uk>, ecp...@ssa.bris.ac.uk (Goshchitsky Alexander) writes:
|> SS (s...@ee.port.ac.uk) wrote:
|>
|> : Luchshe skazhite v kakom sluchae kozyrnoi tuz ne igraet.
|>
|>
|> A v kakom?
|>
"Poruchik, a kak sluchilos' chto ne sygral moj kozyrnyj tuz?"
"Rasklad, gospodin polkovnik..."
Simon Streltsov
: |> >Vot vam do kuchi mizer Ed. Laskera. Brata togo Em. Laskera.
: |> >(Ed., hotya i ne stal, chempionom, no odnu bessmertnuyu
: |> >shahmatnuyu partiyu vse zhe sygral. S Tomasom)
Ed, AFAIK, Emy ne brat i ne rodstvennik, no mogu i ne znat'!
Miser koneshno ne noven'kii - mi ego upotreblyali v
"10-min bets" - you have 10 min to solve the problem -
if not, you loose your money.
My (deceased) partner Dima Gnesin had a special chess problem,
where a person has to choose sides, and then you play blitz.
Of course, there was a smart idea, that a person did not see.
After that, he suggested to repeat the game. Usually the person
chose the opposite side, but there was a 2 hidden idea ...i t d
He was usually getting 50 rub on a 10 rub bet ...
Simcha, who increases in Adar
and decreases in Av
and speaks
Russian with Jewish accent
English with Russian accent
Hebrew with English accent
all year long
( and writes also)
Michael G. Minkovski
>Pertsel Vladimir (vold...@wiscon.weizmann.ac.il) wrote:
>: |> >Vot vam do kuchi mizer Ed. Laskera. Brata togo Em. Laskera.
>: |> >(Ed., hotya i ne stal, chempionom, no odnu bessmertnuyu
>: |> >shahmatnuyu partiyu vse zhe sygral. S Tomasom)
>Ed, AFAIK, Emy ne brat i ne rodstvennik, no mogu i ne znat'!
>Miser koneshno ne noven'kii - mi ego upotreblyali v
>"10-min bets" - you have 10 min to solve the problem -
>if not, you loose your money.
Voobsche govoria, pref. - igra prostaia i mehanistichnaia. Ia gotov
pobit'sia ob zaklad, chto v trezvom vide (:-) ia reshu _liubuiu_ preferansnuiu
zadachu s polnost'iu zadannym raskladom za 10 minut. S
ochen' nebol'shim protsentom oshibok, veroiatno v sil'no schetnyh
positsiash. Ia schitaiu, chto _slozhnuiu_ preferansnuiu zadachu etogo tipa
nevozmozhno pridumat' v silu prostoty igry. Drugoe delo zadachi sinteza, kogda
rasklad ne zadan ili zadan ne polnost'iu (tipa toi, chto nedavno postil
Zhiharev - kogda ia ee pervyi raz uvidel, ia ee chasa 2 reshal). Ves'
interes p. dlia menia - nepolnota informatsii vo vremia igry (poetomu ne
liubliu mizery i sochi, liubliu raspasy i klassiku).
...The Wind that blows between the Worlds it cut him like a knife...
R.K.