Scottish Penis size verses Englishmen
Jill Daniels
significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
Kingsley Matthews
>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
And I was always told that the English were a big bunch of pricks.
--
Kingsley
Roderick MacDonald
from ji...@aol.com (Jill Daniels) contains these words:
> I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
A very good reason for making sure that pregnant women from the
Scottish side of the border don't go to Carlisle to have their
maleborns delivered in England. Not only would it lessen their
entitlement to a Scottish passport, the short trip down the M6 will
significantly diminish their external plumbing.
It also instantly solves all the problems of jkwill's checklist for
nationality - when I go for my Scottish passport I'll simply drop my
trousers, and show them "Ruaraidh Beag" (but not if it's a cold day...).
Now is there any similar foolproof study for the fairer sex?
How about :
I saw an article from a survey that proved that Scottish women had
significantly sharper tongues than English women, or most other women
in Europe. Does anyone believe a word of this nonsense?
Rod
Dept. of Spam Management
<king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> :
>In article <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>, Jill Daniels <ji...@aol.com> writes
>>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>>
>
>And I was always told that the English were a big bunch of pricks.
Thassa "big bunch of pricks" not "a bunch of big pricks" -- there's a
difference, natch.
I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
years. Make of that what you will >;)
-==- Ennien
Bryn Fraser
>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
Lurker rumour again........
Bryn Fraser
glůinean geal
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Air Sat, 12 Sep 1998 20:02:03 +0100, sgriobh Kingsley Matthews
> <king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> :
>
> >>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> >>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >>
> >
>
> Thassa "big bunch of pricks" not "a bunch of big pricks" -- there's a
> difference, natch.
> I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
> years. Make of that what you will >;)
> -==- Ennien
If one were to consider the average life span of a Scot and devided that
by the inches it would appear you have atleast 13 more happy years, the
average being a period of 12 years as a rule, but with the viagra etc.
the study is still consolidating facts as to function, durabilty,
performance standards etc.
As for the English pinicle of profonafication it appears that in or
about 1066 it was found that the "habbit" of religose circumscission had
to be altered, by an edict from the Papal Seed, which can be seen in
the following extract from Pope Gregory translated from the original
latin intitled, "Circumsisattum headaose Brittanicas," which reads, " If
one attempts to circumsize the English one must use decapitation because
they appear to be pricks from head to toe." "A limups pricktarias
volontary later to be medically defined as Limpus Dickus Nationalis." A
condition first seen by Hadrian whilst building the great wall which
carries his name, to keep out the Scots. The great man in a letter to
Rome describing the Scots wrote. "Enmasses das Scotti bare asses runicus
in kiltas showoffitic Williecus giganticus to a manicas every bugeris
ofas themas. Scaricus the Britanicus shitlessicus by sizum of Willieum
flappicus inacis the breezeicus." Also noted in the dispatch to Rome was
the comment," Phalexicus Giganticus viewelded as a spearicus erectus."
William The Conqueror, or Willie the Conk as he was affectionately
called commented on the English forces as "Les tapet avec les mans des
fluer. " The fee fee's with limp wrists like flowers, and with a name
like Willie Conceror one would surmise he had some expertise on the
subject.
Professor Dr. Willie Puller, DDv. Bishop of Beating,
Director of the study of tripodites or Pecerus Triadipus University of
Inverness. This is a condion which appears to be genetically transfer to
male children of the Highlands and Islands of Scotland in which the male
organ, as opposed to the less harmoniose English Harpsicord, is forced
to grow to enormose size due to the side of the teticles each man is
forced to carry simply for survival as a race. Anyone wishing to help
with research funding or donate (females only please) a wee bit of
experimental equiptment or comment please feel free to send it along to
The Highland Board of Reasearch.
Testacolis Castle,
Invernesshire, Scotland
or to our U.S. office. address available on request by email. (please
mention amount of donation in email, or appropriate measurements and
photo would be appreciated for physical donations. Dunna set yer
standards too high we at the university never have.
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> The message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>
> from ji...@aol.com (Jill Daniels) contains these words:
>
> > significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> > Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
> Scottish side of the border don't go to Carlisle to have their
> maleborns delivered in England. Not only would it lessen their
> entitlement to a Scottish passport, the short trip down the M6 will
> significantly diminish their external plumbing.
>
> It also instantly solves all the problems of jkwill's checklist for
> nationality - when I go for my Scottish passport I'll simply drop my
> trousers, and show them "Ruaraidh Beag" (but not if it's a cold day...).
>
> Now is there any similar foolproof study for the fairer sex?
>
> How about :
>
> I saw an article from a survey that proved that Scottish women had
> significantly sharper tongues than English women, or most other women
> in Europe. Does anyone believe a word of this nonsense?
>
> Rod
Dave would of really liked to reply to this or at least taken part, but
since I am home for a few days he canna get close enough to the desk.
Sandy *\:P}
Anne Jackson
from ji...@aol.com (Jill Daniels) contains these words:
> I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
....but who wrote the poem about it?
Anne
Fog Brat
<br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>, Jill Daniels <ji...@aol.com> writes
>>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>>
>
>Lurker rumour again........
Oh, but it's such a fun topic. Let's try to reproduce the results of
this...study. First we'll need a panel of judges. Then we'll need a
nice sampling of penii. I suggest the following categories.
1. The Scots
2. The Irish
3. The Welsh
4. The English
5. Everyone Else
It might also be worth looking into whether or not geographical
relocation causes a measurable difference in size. For example, what
about an Englishman living in Scotland? A Scot living in England?
Expats? Georgians? These are questions that beg to be answered once
and for all!
I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
NicFogBrat
Kingsley Matthews
Management <sp...@shaw.wave.com> writes
>>>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>>>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>>>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>>>
>>
>
>Thassa "big bunch of pricks" not "a bunch of big pricks" -- there's a
>difference, natch.
>I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
>years. Make of that what you will >;)
>-==- Ennien
>
My Scottish wife has been married to this Welshman for 21 years, what do
you make of that then? :)
--
Kingsley
James C. Woodard
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net
<"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
<6tenlg$g...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
>Dept. of Spam Management wrote:
>>
>> <king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> :
>>
>> >In article <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>, Jill Daniels <ji...@aol.com> writes
>> >>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>> >>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>> >>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>> >>
>> >
>> >And I was always told that the English were a big bunch of pricks.
>>
>> Thassa "big bunch of pricks" not "a bunch of big pricks" -- there's a
>> difference, natch.
>> I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
>> years. Make of that what you will >;)
>> -==- Ennien
>
>Inverness. This is a condion which appears to be genetically transfer to
>male children of the Highlands and Islands of Scotland in which the male
>organ, as opposed to the less harmoniose English Harpsicord, is forced
>to grow to enormose size due to the side of the teticles each man is
>forced to carry simply for survival as a race.
And here I thought the wheelbarrow was just to keep their knuckles from
dragging.
Jim
jkwill
Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
jkwill
Roderick MacDonald wrote in message <199809122...@zetnet.co.uk>...
>Scottish side of the border don't go to Carlisle to have their
>maleborns delivered in England. Not only would it lessen their
>entitlement to a Scottish passport, the short trip down the M6 will
>significantly diminish their external plumbing.
>
>It also instantly solves all the problems of jkwill's checklist for
>nationality - when I go for my Scottish passport I'll simply drop my
>trousers, and show them "Ruaraidh Beag" (but not if it's a cold day...).
They haven't got Old men of Hoy.
Dept. of Spam Management
<king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> :
>>Thassa "big bunch of pricks" not "a bunch of big pricks" -- there's a
>>difference, natch.
>>I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
>>years. Make of that what you will >;)
>>-==- Ennien
>>
>
>My Scottish wife has been married to this Welshman for 21 years, what do
>you make of that then? :)
That what is to the gander is as to the goose, natch ;)
-==- Ennien
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
<king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>My Scottish wife has been married to this Welshman for 21 years, what do
>you make of that then? :)
>Kingsley
Bad taste is universal?
Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
"Faire faire dhuin' ňig
cia do bharantas mór?
'N i do bharail bhith
beň 's nach eug thu?"
Linda S. Cummings
Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
As I mentioned before, I am a trained professional, Registered Nurse, that
is. Master's prepared. And would be willing to submit a grant application
for another study of this nature, if we can't find the research on the above
mentioned. Or even if we can. This sort of research is very tedious and time
consuming, however, it is also one of the best ways to really see which head
the subject really uses for intellectual purposes. I theorize that the
Englishman probably uses the smaller of the two and the Scotsman undoubtedly
uses which ever is receiving the most blood flow at any given moment ( the
priapus equation). So, Jill, Sandy, Duchess and any of you other "Female
Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
Michael Wade, you're first...I need to have baseline data on which to base
my theory.
YH&OS,
Linda
Colin Will
Anne Jackson wrote in message <199809122...@zetnet.co.uk>...
>> significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>> Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
>
>Anne
>
Richard Aldington (English poet) wrote " Nationalism is a silly cock crowing
on its own dunghill"
I didn't write that. I want that to be clear - I didn't write it.
Colin Will, poet of Mid Calder
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net
> <"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
> <6tenlg$g...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
> >Dept. of Spam Management wrote:
> >>
> >> <king...@kandam.demon.co.uk> :
> >>
> >> >>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >> >>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >> >>
> >> >
> >>
> >> difference, natch.
> >> I donno - I've been happily married to my Scotsman for the last eleven
> >> years. Make of that what you will >;)
> >> -==- Ennien
> >
>
> >Inverness. This is a condion which appears to be genetically transfer to
> >male children of the Highlands and Islands of Scotland in which the male
> >organ, as opposed to the less harmoniose English Harpsicord, is forced
> >to grow to enormose size due to the side of the teticles each man is
> >forced to carry simply for survival as a race.
> And here I thought the wheelbarrow was just to keep their knuckles from
> dragging.
> Jim
We can't give out all of the information. But not for nuckles.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> On Sat, 12 Sep 1998 19:19:39 +0100, Bryn Fraser
> <br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> >>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >>
> >
>
> Oh, but it's such a fun topic. Let's try to reproduce the results of
> this...study. First we'll need a panel of judges. Then we'll need a
> nice sampling of penii. I suggest the following categories.
>
> 1. The Scots
> 2. The Irish
> 3. The Welsh
> 4. The English
> 5. Everyone Else
>
> It might also be worth looking into whether or not geographical
> relocation causes a measurable difference in size. For example, what
> about an Englishman living in Scotland? A Scot living in England?
> Expats? Georgians? These are questions that beg to be answered once
> and for all!
>
> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
>
> NicFogBrat
Since I have a heilander for a husband I think that qualifies me.
Sandy
Kingsley Matthews
@postoffice.att.net writes
Nah, you'll be biased!
--
Kingsley
Dept. of Spam Management
<Thist...@worldnet.att.net> :
>priapus equation). So, Jill, Sandy, Duchess and any of you other "Female
>Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
>please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
>job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
Awwwww can't I help too? Oh wait, everybody thinks I'm a guy... Well
if I get out my "toy box" can I help the other way?
Le spors
-==- Ennien
Cailín J. Callaghan
> <snip>
>
> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
>
> NicFogBrat
Have calipers. Will travel.
Faolchú Gaelach
"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
Bryn Fraser
_Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
Perfect timing...............Glad you're back!
>
>
>
Bryn Fraser
glùinean geal
Cailín J. Callaghan
Well, an ol' Wolf nose opportunity when she smells it after all. And
Darlin', I'm delighted to *see* you as well! Looks like the other gentlemen
are queuing up. That sign the Fog Brat put up out front seems to be working
pretty well. But *they'll* all just have to wait their turn <she confides>.
How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step right this way... Try
to relax--but not *too* much... There...
Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
Faolchú Gaelach
"Do pardon the horns... Halo's in the shop being polished."
Modra Dubh
then a group of disaffected Irishmen concluded that nothing would do but to
travel north into the wilds of Pictland, there to carve out an empire for
themselves. Finding there a cold and hostile environment, they immediately
dispensed with their very practical trousers and donned kilts which of
course left everything exposed to the elements. Two traits then evolved over
time: (1) Their balls grew very hairy, (2) Their penises shrank to mere
nubs. Still, in comparison to the English they are giants among men.
-Conway
(Should we have any doubters amongst us, ye need only look betwixt me legs)
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
Bryn Fraser wrote in message <7GQPeBA7...@finhall.demon.co.uk>...
Anne Jackson
from "Linda S. Cummings" <Thist...@worldnet.att.net> contains
these words:
> So, Jill, Sandy, Duchess and any of you other "Female
> Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
> please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
> job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
Sorry dear, but no research is necessary, *I've already done it*, very
painstakingly, over a period of approaching 40 years! <BG>
I can categorically state (without fear of contradiction?) that the
winners in the Priapus Stakes are -
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
WELSHMEN! (Ah yes, I remember it well!) 8-)))))
Anne
DuchessOK
>> Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
>> please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
>> job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
>
>
Well.. i hate to even confess that research is not only a natural gift of mine,
but loved hobby as well... however, i usually do my research in the books.
This may be over my head so to speak. Though it does sound interesting. And i
have to say, that i would love to hear of the outcome of this project.
Be well all.. duchess..
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> In article <6tgg6r$d...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>, "ga...@worldnet.att.net"
> @postoffice.att.net writes
> >Fog Brat wrote:
> >>
> >> On Sat, 12 Sep 1998 19:19:39 +0100, Bryn Fraser
> >> <br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> >>
> >> >>I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> >> >>significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >> >>Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >> >>
> >> >
> >>
> >> Oh, but it's such a fun topic. Let's try to reproduce the results of
> >> this...study. First we'll need a panel of judges. Then we'll need a
> >> nice sampling of penii. I suggest the following categories.
> >>
> >> 1. The Scots
> >> 2. The Irish
> >> 3. The Welsh
> >> 4. The English
> >> 5. Everyone Else
> >>
> >> It might also be worth looking into whether or not geographical
> >> relocation causes a measurable difference in size. For example, what
> >> about an Englishman living in Scotland? A Scot living in England?
> >> Expats? Georgians? These are questions that beg to be answered once
> >> and for all!
> >>
> >> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
> >>
> >> NicFogBrat
> >
> >
> >Sandy
>
> Nah, you'll be biased!
> --
> Kingsley
But I would know right away if any one was trying to fake it.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> >Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
> >please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
> >job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
>
> if I get out my "toy box" can I help the other way?
> Le spors
> -==- Ennien
What other way would that be????
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Fog Brat wrote:
>
> > <snip>
> >
> > I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
> > immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
> >
> > NicFogBrat
>
>
> Faolchú Gaelach
> "Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
Trust me, there is no need for calipers.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Bryn Fraser wrote:
>
> > In article <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E
> > _Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
> > >
> > >> <snip>
> > >>
> > >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings
>>available
> > immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a >>line.
> > >>
> > >> NicFogBrat
> > >
> > >Have calipers. Will travel.
> > >
> > >Faolchú Gaelach
> > >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> > Bryn Fraser
>
> Well, an ol' Wolf nose opportunity when she smells it after all. And
> Darlin', I'm delighted to *see* you as well! Looks like the other gentlemen
> are queuing up. That sign the Fog Brat put up out front seems to be working
> pretty well. But *they'll* all just have to wait their turn <she confides>.
> How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step right this way... Try
> to relax--but not *too* much... There...
>
> Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
>
> Faolchú Gaelach
> "Do pardon the horns... Halo's in the shop being polished."
She says as she licks her chops with a slight smile.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> This might help. Once upon a time all Gaels were equally endowed. But
> then a group of disaffected Irishmen concluded that nothing would do but to
> travel north into the wilds of Pictland, there to carve out an empire for
> themselves. Finding there a cold and hostile environment, they immediately
> dispensed with their very practical trousers and donned kilts which of
> course left everything exposed to the elements. Two traits then evolved over
> time: (1) Their balls grew very hairy, (2) Their penises shrank to mere
> nubs. Still, in comparison to the English they are giants among men.
> -Conway
> (Should we have any doubters amongst us, ye need only look betwixt me legs)
>
Do you provide the magnifying glass and tweesers?
Sandy
Stephen Hamilton
ga...@worldnet.att.net@postoffice.att.net wrote:
> James C. Woodard wrote:
> >
> >
> > >
> >
> > And here I thought the wheelbarrow was just to keep their knuckles from
> > dragging.
> > Jim
>
> We can't give out all of the information. But not for nuckles.
>
> Sandy
A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we finally
know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to believe
that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good god the
possibilities!
awed for a change
James C. Woodard
Stephen Hamilton wrote in message <35FC73B3...@voy.net>...
joke here. One would find need to groooaaaan if that were the case.
James C. "I don't believe my ears" Woodard
James C. Woodard
Stephen Hamilton wrote in message <35FC73B3...@voy.net>...
>
>
>ga...@worldnet.att.net@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>
>> James C. Woodard wrote:
>> >
>> >
>> > >
>> >
>> > And here I thought the wheelbarrow was just to keep their knuckles from
>> > dragging.
>> > Jim
>>
>> We can't give out all of the information. But not for nuckles.
>>
>> Sandy
>
>A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we
finally
>know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to
believe
>that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good
god the
>possibilities!
>
>awed for a change
>
>
Bryn Fraser
Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
>Bryn Fraser wrote:
>
>> In article <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E
>> _Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
>> >Fog Brat wrote:
>> >
>> >> <snip>
>> >>
>> >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings >>available
>> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a >>line.
>> >>
>> >> NicFogBrat
>> >
>> >Have calipers. Will travel.
>> >
>> >Faolchú Gaelach
>> >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
>>
>> Perfect timing...............Glad you're back!
>> >
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Bryn Fraser
>
>Well, an ol' Wolf nose opportunity when she smells it after all. And
>Darlin', I'm delighted to *see* you as well! Looks like the other gentlemen
>are queuing up. That sign the Fog Brat put up out front seems to be working
>pretty well. But *they'll* all just have to wait their turn <she confides>.
>How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step right this way... Try
>to relax--but not *too* much... There...
>
>Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
Ummmmmmmmm! So friendlyyyyyyyyyyyyy! <goosebumps>
>
>
>Faolchú Gaelach
>"Do pardon the horns... Halo's in the shop being polished."
>
>
>
>
Bryn Fraser
glùinean geal
Bryn Fraser
<hota...@voy.net> writes
>
>
>ga...@worldnet.att.net@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>
>> James C. Woodard wrote:
>> >
>> >
>> > >
>> >
>> > And here I thought the wheelbarrow was just to keep their knuckles from
>> > dragging.
>> > Jim
>>
>> We can't give out all of the information. But not for nuckles.
>>
>> Sandy
>
>A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we
>finally
>know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to believe
>that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good god
>the
>possibilities!
>
>awed for a change
Aye! Swinging thro' the trees, bottle in one hand, glass in the other.
Then a Tarzan-like yell when he reachs the holly.......It makes the
mind's eye water........
Bryn Fraser
<amyg...@zetnet.co.uk> writes
>The message <6tfi4g$4...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>
> from "Linda S. Cummings" <Thist...@worldnet.att.net> contains
>these words:
>
>> Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
>> please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
>> job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
>
>painstakingly, over a period of approaching 40 years! <BG>
>
>I can categorically state (without fear of contradiction?) that the
>winners in the Priapus Stakes are -
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>*
>WELSHMEN! (Ah yes, I remember it well!) 8-)))))
>
>Anne
I made another response to this but decided *not* to post it.......
JOHN MITCHELL
> >
> > Faolchú Gaelach
> > "Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
>
>
> Sandy
Calipers are only needed to measure small, precisioned parts
Scots have always been known to be "Big Headed"
LOL: From the big prick himself
Johnny B Good
wayne mccollum
>
> Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
> >significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >
>
> is. Master's prepared. And would be willing to submit a grant application
> for another study of this nature, if we can't find the research on the above
> mentioned. Or even if we can. This sort of research is very tedious and time
> consuming, however, it is also one of the best ways to really see which head
> the subject really uses for intellectual purposes. I theorize that the
> Englishman probably uses the smaller of the two and the Scotsman undoubtedly
> uses which ever is receiving the most blood flow at any given moment ( the
> Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
> please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
> job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
> my theory.
>
> YH&OS,
> Linda
DOn't bite.....er...don't be fooled by this 'study' thing as
invitin as it sounds men!! I know some from back a way and
believe me you might well be goin to butcher!!
Dept. of Spam Management
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net :
>Dept. of Spam Management wrote:
>>
>> Air 13 Sep 1998 04:36:32 GMT, sgriobh "Linda S. Cummings"
>> <Thist...@worldnet.att.net> :
>> >priapus equation). So, Jill, Sandy, Duchess and any of you other "Female
>> >Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
>> >please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
>> >job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
>>
>> Awwwww can't I help too? Oh wait, everybody thinks I'm a guy... Well
>> if I get out my "toy box" can I help the other way?
>> Le spors
>> -==- Ennien
>
>What other way would that be????
Well what if I come with 5 optional attachments? But I'm quite sure
the equipment has to be natural, eh?
(See, everyone thinks I'm a guy - even our dear Mr. Mac Phadraig - in
spite of the fact that "Ennien" is a corruption of "Inion")
Oooer.. Perhaps I could represent the Scot-wannabes in the survey?
Le spors
-==- Ennien
Donald J Dickson
<> > >I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
<> > >significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
<> > >Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
<> > >
They probably studied the Scots on the coldest day in the winter and the
English on the warmest day of summer. Everyone knows that part of the male
anatomy tends to preserve itself from the cold and the drafts under those
kilts after waiting a couple of hours outside before the measurement was
taken would have created a statistical incorrect result.
Those English will resort to all types of tricks.
;-)
--
Don Dickson
Remove first "x" from xcx666 when replying by e-mail.
Modra Dubh
-Conway
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net
<"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
<6thi0f$i...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
Cailín J. Callaghan
> In article <35FC21AF...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E_
> Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
> >Bryn Fraser wrote:
> >
> >> In article <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E
> >> _Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
> >> >Fog Brat wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> <snip>
> >> >>
> >> >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. >> >>Openings available
> immediately for subjects. Judges, >> >>queue up a line.
> >> >>
> >> >> NicFogBrat
> >> >
> >> >Have calipers. Will travel.
> >> >
> >> >Faolchú Gaelach
> >> >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
> >>
> >> Perfect timing...............Glad you're back!
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >> Bryn Fraser
> >
> >Well, an ol' Wolf nose opportunity when she smells it >after all. And
> Darlin', I'm delighted to *see* you as well! >Looks like the other gentlemen
> are queuing up. That sign >the Fog Brat put up out front seems to be working
> pretty >well. But *they'll* all just have to wait their turn <she >confides>.
> >How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step >right this way... Try
> to relax--but not *too* much... >There...
> >
> >Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
>
> >Ummmmmmmmm! So friendlyyyyyyyyyyyyy! <goosebumps>
The pleasure was all mine, I'm sure...
Faolchú Gaelach
"I see a bad moon a risin'..."
Modra Dubh
-Conway
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
Anne Jackson wrote in message <199809122...@zetnet.co.uk>...
>The message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>
> from ji...@aol.com (Jill Daniels) contains these words:
>
>> I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>> significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>> Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>
>....but who wrote the poem about it?
>
>Anne
>
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
<br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <35FC73B3...@voy.net>, Stephen Hamilton
><hota...@voy.net> writes
>>A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we
>>finally
>>know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to believe
>>that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good god
>>the possibilities!
>Aye! Swinging thro' the trees, bottle in one hand, glass in the other.
>Then a Tarzan-like yell when he reachs the holly.......It makes the
>mind's eye water........
>>
I want to remind you that where I come from there's a helluva gap
between the trees - about 30 miles. I might fall and hurt myself!
(With grateful acknowledgement to Johnny Polson.)
Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
"Faire faire dhuin' ňig
cia do bharantas mór?
'N i do bharail bhith
beň 's nach eug thu?"
Bryn Fraser
Rob_Mac_Ph=E0druig?= <mik...@whidbey.com> writes
>On Mon, 14 Sep 1998 10:25:39 +0100, Bryn Fraser
><br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>In article <35FC73B3...@voy.net>, Stephen Hamilton
>><hota...@voy.net> writes
>
>>>A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we
>>>finally
>>>know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to
>believe
>>>that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good god
>>>the possibilities!
>
>>Aye! Swinging thro' the trees, bottle in one hand, glass in the other.
>>Then a Tarzan-like yell when he reachs the holly.......It makes the
>>mind's eye water........
>>>
>I want to remind you that where I come from there's a helluva gap
>between the trees - about 30 miles. I might fall and hurt myself!
A worse thought has occured to me. Suppose the aforementioned appendage
were to develop a taste for peanuts or - horror upon horror - popcorn?
>
>(With grateful acknowledgement to Johnny Polson.)
>
>Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
> "Faire faire dhuin' ňig
> cia do bharantas mór?
> 'N i do bharail bhith
> beň 's nach eug thu?"
>
Bryn Fraser
glůinean geal
Bryn Fraser
<m...@worldnet.att.net> writes
>A Scotsman.
>-Conway
Nay! Nay! A Scots *woman*........
Bryn Fraser
glůinean geal
Lee E. Brown
It sure is good that you put a stop to all those nasty gun-related threads,
so that you could get back to the really important s.c.s business of talking
about your *dicks*..........
wayne mccollum
> <> > Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
> <> > >significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> <> > >Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> <> > >
Finally! After yrs of research and $'s my ancestry is
confirmed by this simple study.
Oh....Scottish!
Me(Wayne Mc)
Modra Dubh
-Conway
(And now the Highlander will play me a dirge)
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
Bryn Fraser wrote in message ...
>In article <6tk7kg$b...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>, Modra Dubh
><m...@worldnet.att.net> writes
>>A Scotsman.
>>-Conway
>
>Nay! Nay! A Scots *woman*........
>>>
>>>> I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>>>> significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>>>> Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>>>
Modra Dubh
Fog Brat
<cai...@whidbey.com> wrote:
<snip>
>How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step right this way... Try
>to relax--but not *too* much... There...
>
>Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
Down, girl!
I knew there was a reason I was keeping this rolled-up newspaper
around. Now behave, before I rub your nose in it and put you outside.
<??>
<this post made solely to raise my number of Déja News
"Stealth-Bonking" mentions. As you were.>
NicFogBrat
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
What are you talking about - we haven't mentioned your name once.
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
>No! No! A Scottish sheep!
>-Conway
>(And now the Highlander will play me a dirge)
>
I know of only two incidents involving sheep. One was a story by my
uncle who sat on a court martial involving an incident between a sheep
and a soldier in the Shetlands during the war. He said that afterwards
you could guarantee a serious assault by this man, simply by saying
"Mehhhh!" in his presence.
The second was when I noticed some Army cooks on a hillside chasing a
sheep into a wood and asked a sergeant what they doing. He gave me a
knowing leer and a wink, not a particularly respectful response, so I
sent him puffing up the hill to fetch the cooks down to explain to me
why they were interfering with the local livestock. They said they
thought it would be a nice treat for the men to have mutton stew. I
stalked around them silently for two minutes before asking if they'd
like to reconsider their story which, if it were the one they planned
to stick to, would result in them being charged with attempted theft.
They finally admitted what their intentions had been. I gave them
forty-eight hours guard duty for lying to me; any appeals to be
directed to the colonel who was not noted for a compassionate interest
in bestialty; hands to be thoroughly scrubbed before touching food
again; any further sheep-chasing activity to be investigated by a
court martial. Filthy bastards.
However, I do admire the wit of the young man recently featured in the
news who was driving home late one night in the southern States and
decided as he had had no success with humans, to get his rocks off
with a particularly squishy pumpkin.
While thusly engaged, he was approached by a policewoman who asked him
to explain his activities. In a brilliant riposte for a man in his
position, he looked at his watch and said, "Good heavens, is it
midnight already?" The policewoman said she had to laugh, but she
still busted him.
If the cooks had come up with an answer like that, I'd have let them
go.
Stephen Hamilton
Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
>
>
> However, I do admire the wit of the young man recently featured in the
> news who was driving home late one night in the southern States and
> decided as he had had no success with humans, to get his rocks off
> with a particularly squishy pumpkin.
>
> While thusly engaged, he was approached by a policewoman who asked him
> to explain his activities. In a brilliant riposte for a man in his
> position, he looked at his watch and said, "Good heavens, is it
> midnight already?" The policewoman said she had to laugh, but she
> still busted him.
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
This might be a good time to point out that I saw the same article, and
no, before you ask, for once Micheil isn't talking about MacRobert.
Stephen
But you have to wonder... wouldn't the seeds be a bit pokey?
Linda S. Cummings
Lee E. Brown wrote in message ...
>
>It sure is good that you put a stop to all those nasty gun-related threads,
>so that you could get back to the really important s.c.s business of
talking
>about your *dicks*..........
>
YH&OS,
Linda
Bob Scott
It even reached the british press - IIRC the policewoman said that "he
volunteered to come quietly"
>
>But you have to wonder... wouldn't the seeds be a bit pokey?
>
Hmm, I'm trying not to think about that.
--
Bob Scott
gi...@gte.net
Bob Scott wrote in message ...
Well, again it depends on the penis size, in a pumpkin
there is quite a bit of pumpkin meat to go through before
you hit the seeds. (A whole bunch of double entendres
here for your pleasure).
georgette
Alan Hardie
Stephen Hamilton wrote in message <35FF458A...@voy.net>...
>
>
>This might be a good time to point out that I saw the same article, and
>no, before you ask, for once Micheil isn't talking about MacRobert.
>
>Stephen
>
>But you have to wonder... wouldn't the seeds be a bit pokey?
>
>
It's gives the term "spitting out the pips" a whole new imagery, doesn't it?
------------------------
Alan Hardie
(remove xspam from email address to reply)
Lee E. Brown
Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote in message
<35ff39bb...@news.whidbey.com>...
>On Tue, 15 Sep 1998 11:48:34 -0400, "Lee E. Brown"
><leeb...@jagunet.com> wrote:
>
>>
>>It sure is good that you put a stop to all those nasty gun-related threads,
>>so that you could get back to the really important s.c.s business of talking
>>about your *dicks*..........
>>
>What are you talking about - we haven't mentioned your name once.
That's true - you've been too busy talking about your dicks.
Glad I could clear that up for you.
Ian Stewart
Who were in places 2 - 13 then ?
Ian S
On Sun, 13 Sep 1998 22:39:03 +0100, Anne Jackson
<amyg...@zetnet.co.uk> wrote:
>The message <6tfi4g$4...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>
> from "Linda S. Cummings" <Thist...@worldnet.att.net> contains
>these words:
>
>> So, Jill, Sandy, Duchess and any of you other "Female
>> Lurkers" (that hurts) who would like to have your name on this publication
>> please respond. You know research is a requirement for advancement in many
>> job fields. And who says research can't be fun.
>
Ian Stewart
virgil.mccollum"@sw.boeing.com> wrote:
>>
>> <> > Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
>> <> > >I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
>> <> > >significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
>> <> > >Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
>> <> > >
I can't recall but the author, a lady, was seated next to a friend of
mine on a long haul flight and they fell to discussing the matter.
On being informed that the Scots were the best endowed, he asked who
were next in line and was told that native Americans were in second
place.
He subsequently took the name of Cochise Mackenzie.
Lotta (brother of Sitting) Bull MacFatrock
Stephen Hamilton
James C. Woodard wrote:
> First of all Let me apologize to one and all for what, boys and girls I
> could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into being
> my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters, used
> to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
> "It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
> get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
> intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
> Jim
>
> [Image]
On those rare occasions when circumstances require the point to be made I've
always found it useful to order a large pizza, take a few good bites out of one
area, and voila! Much cheaper than buying that special tool, PLUS you almost
never have to share the pizza afterwards!
Always the one with practical suggestions
MacRobert
James C. Woodard
Stephen Hamilton wrote in message <36008165...@voy.net>...
Jim
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
<a.hard...@which.net> wrote:
>
>Stephen Hamilton wrote in message <35FF458A...@voy.net>...
>>But you have to wonder... wouldn't the seeds be a bit pokey?
>It's gives the term "spitting out the pips" a whole new imagery, doesn't it?
>
I don't think the man was french-kissing the pumpkin, Alan.
<academics - you have to wonder...>
BTW, 5 out of 10 to MacRoberts for "a bit pokey".
<someone has to care.>
Bryn Fraser
<gwy...@gte.net> writes
>
>Cailín J. Callaghan wrote in message <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>...
>>Fog Brat wrote:
>>
>>> <snip>
>>>
>>> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
>>> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
>>>
>>> NicFogBrat
>>
>>Have calipers. Will travel.
>>
>>Faolchú Gaelach
>>"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
>>
>>
>>
>could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into being
>my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters, used
>to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
>"It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
>get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
>intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
>Jim
>
Imperial measurement.
James C. Woodard
Bryn Fraser wrote in message ...
back side of the thing is blank white so the younger nurses can write their
phone number on it and give it to the patient when they find the appropriate
size.
Jim
James C. Woodard
Bryn Fraser wrote in message ...
>In article <6tpjdu$dr2$1...@news-2.news.gte.net>, "James C. Woodard"
><gwy...@gte.net> writes
>>
>>Cailín J. Callaghan wrote in message <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>...
>>>Fog Brat wrote:
>>>
>>>> <snip>
>>>>
>>>> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
>>>> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
>>>>
>>>> NicFogBrat
>>>
>>>Have calipers. Will travel.
>>>
>>>Faolchú Gaelach
>>>"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>First of all Let me apologize to one and all for what, boys and girls I
>>could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into
being
>>my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters,
used
>>to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
>>"It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
>>get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
>>intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
>>Jim
>>
>I am rendered completely speechless. Thank god I only understand
>Imperial measurement.
This isn't some kind of "backdoor" implication about your "king sized"
equipment, is it Bryn?
>
>
>Bryn Fraser
>
>glůinean geal
>
>http://www.finhall.demon.co.uk
Jim(Mine is bigger than yours) Woodard
Modra Dubh
small to turn the nut.
-Conway
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
James C. Woodard wrote in message <6tpjdu$dr2$1...@news-2.news.gte.net>...
Cailín J. Callahan
> On Sun, 13 Sep 1998 12:49:03 -0700, "Cailín J. Callaghan"
> <cai...@whidbey.com> wrote:
> <snip>
> >How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step right this way... Try
> to relax--but not *too* much... There...
> >
> >Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
>
> Down, girl!
> I knew there was a reason I was keeping this rolled-up newspaper around. Now
> behave, before I rub your nose in it and put you outside.
I *was* behaving... *badly*, but...
...Besides, what makes you think *you* can rub my nose in "it" any better than
*I* can?
};-q
> <??>
> <this post made solely to raise my number of Déja News
> "Stealth-Bonking" mentions. As you were.>
>
> NicFogBrat
Faolchú Gaelach,
"Frumius Bandersnatch"
PS: The rolled up newspaper is for spreading out to prevent any mementoes from
winding up on fabrics sequestered in the evidence locker.
Cailín J. Callahan
> Bryn Fraser wrote in message ...
> <snip>
> >I am rendered completely speechless. Thank god I only understand Imperial
> measurement.
>
> This isn't some kind of "backdoor" implication about your "king sized"
> equipment, is it Bryn?
> >Bryn Fraser
> >
> >glůinean geal
> >
> >http://www.finhall.demon.co.uk
>
> Jim(Mine is bigger than yours) Woodard
...All done, Bryn. See? That didn't hurt a bit, now did it? Don't forget to
pick up your tootsie-pop reward at the front desk when you sign out. And, uuuh,
thanks for participating in the study. };-)
Uuum... Mr. Woo-- Wood-- <groan>
Ehem... Neeeeeeext?
Faolchú Gaelach
"...Mares eat oats, but wolves eat goats..."
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
<Use-Author-Address-Header@[127.1]> wrote:
>Micheil Rob Mac PhÓdruig wrote:
>
>>The second was when I noticed some Army cooks on a hillside chasing a
>>sheep into a wood and asked a sergeant what they doing. He gave me a
>>knowing leer and a wink,
>
>I'm usually prepared to believe any horror story about Army cooks, but
>they are never energetic.
>
>Do you really think you can get away with telling us that they chased
>after a sheep when they had a young, publicly schooled officer to play
>with?
I'm no smoothie - I'm as rough as two unplaned planks of wood.
Army cooks are a curious subculture. Some are genuinely interested in
the trade and really try - indeed, one of the finest meals I ever ate
was at the end of a night on exercises when it was pissing down and
misty to boot, and I stumbled into a cook with a potful of beef stew
simmering, waiting for people like me to find him.
The more I ate, the more gratified he was - he kept topping up my bowl
and thrusting chunks of fresh-baked bread into my hand. When I really
could eat not one more drip of gravy, I wrung his God-given cooking
hand and told him to come and see me back at camp and I'd put him in
for promotion.
I kept my word too; good men should be raised up above us ordinary
mortals and this man had just saved my life and given my tastebuds one
of the finest treats of their lives! His new sergeant's stripes looked
fine on him and I'll bet the extra pay went down well too. Corporal
Scorah as was; Sergeant Scorah when my recommendation was approved; my
accompanying paperwork read like the Song of Solomon. I never saw the
name before or since, but I'll not forget him soon. I'm partial to a
man who knows his way around a kettle and 40 lbs of beef; troops, for
the use of, as Army parlance has it.
Then there are cooks who I honestly believe join the Army Catering
Corps because they know they won't be asked to fight unless we're down
to our last man.
They're the ones who produce the endless trays of congealed fried eggs
- if you've been in the British Army, I need say no more; you know
what I'm talking about. They're the ones who know that if you boil a
vegetable for an hour there's no way it can be raw.
And they're the ones who look hurt when you point out that their oven
is in imminent danger of being declared a World Heritage site as,
thanks to sloppy maintenance, it has become an archeological record of
all the meals that were ever cooked in it.
Soldiers, like ship cruise passengers, live for their grub. Bad grub
merits no excuses. A man might have joined the Army to escape a life
of crime, a slum or a dead-end job, but he came equipped with
tastebuds just like the other blokes, and if he was to believe he'd
done the right thing, he had to feel his new job was looking after him
when it came to his grub.
<God, I'm getting boring.>
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Only if you truly desire a closer look!
> -Conway
And there would be no other way to find it.
Sandy
>
> --
> Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net
> <"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
> <6thi0f$i...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
>
> >Do you provide the magnifying glass and tweesers?
> >
> >Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> On Mon, 14 Sep 1998 10:25:39 +0100, Bryn Fraser
> <br...@finhall.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >In article <35FC73B3...@voy.net>, Stephen Hamilton
> ><hota...@voy.net> writes
>
> >>A Possible breackthrough on the "hairy Knuckles" issue! But if indeed we
> >>finally
> >>know what MacPhadruig meant by his knuckles being "hairless", are we to believe
> >>that his Wee Neeneroonie is prehensile? I mean, if it is jointed...Good god
> >>the possibilities!
>
> >Aye! Swinging thro' the trees, bottle in one hand, glass in the other.
> >Then a Tarzan-like yell when he reachs the holly.......It makes the
> >mind's eye water........
> >>
> I want to remind you that where I come from there's a helluva gap
> between the trees - about 30 miles. I might fall and hurt myself!
>
> (With grateful acknowledgement to Johnny Polson.)
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Lee E. Brown wrote in message ...
> >
> >so that you could get back to the really important s.c.s business of
> talking
> >about your *dicks*..........
> >
>
> YH&OS,
> Linda
Take two for that one Linda
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Bryn Fraser wrote:
>
> > In article <35FC21AF...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E_
> > Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
> > >Bryn Fraser wrote:
> > >
> > >> In article <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>, =?iso-8859-1?q?Cail=EDn_J=2E
> > >> _Callaghan?= <cai...@whidbey.com> writes
> > >> >Fog Brat wrote:
> > >> >
> > >> >> <snip>
> > >> >>
> > >> >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. >> >>Openings available
> > immediately for subjects. Judges, >> >>queue up a line.
> > >> >>
> > >> >> NicFogBrat
> > >> >
> > >> >Have calipers. Will travel.
> > >> >
> > >> >Faolchú Gaelach
> > >> >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
> > >>
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >>
> > >> Bryn Fraser
> > >
> > >Well, an ol' Wolf nose opportunity when she smells it >after all. And
> > Darlin', I'm delighted to *see* you as well! >Looks like the other gentlemen
> > are queuing up. That sign >the Fog Brat put up out front seems to be working
> > pretty >well. But *they'll* all just have to wait their turn <she
>confides>.
> > >How 'bout we attend to you *first*, Bryn-shooga. Step >right this way... Try
> > to relax--but not *too* much... >There...
> > >
> > >Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
> >
>
> The pleasure was all mine, I'm sure...
>
> Faolchú Gaelach
> "I see a bad moon a risin'..."
I think you have him right where you want him.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > news who was driving home late one night in the southern States and
> > decided as he had had no success with humans, to get his rocks off
> > with a particularly squishy pumpkin.
> >
> > While thusly engaged, he was approached by a policewoman who asked him
> > to explain his activities. In a brilliant riposte for a man in his
> > position, he looked at his watch and said, "Good heavens, is it
> > midnight already?" The policewoman said she had to laugh, but she
> > still busted him.
> >
> > Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
>
> no, before you ask, for once Micheil isn't talking about MacRobert.
Yea sure, you would back Micheil up.
>
> Stephen
>
> But you have to wonder... wouldn't the seeds be a bit pokey?
You would know more about that than we would.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Fog Brat wrote:
>
> > On Sun, 13 Sep 1998 12:49:03 -0700, "Cailín J. Callaghan"
> > <cai...@whidbey.com> wrote:
> > <snip>
> > to relax--but not *too* much... There...
> > >
> > >Think of this as just your typical friendly canine gesture...
> >
> > I knew there was a reason I was keeping this rolled-up newspaper around. Now
> > behave, before I rub your nose in it and put you outside.
>
> I *was* behaving... *badly*, but...
>
> ...Besides, what makes you think *you* can rub my nose in "it" any better than
> *I* can?
> };-q
>
> > <??>
> > <this post made solely to raise my number of Déja News
> > "Stealth-Bonking" mentions. As you were.>
> >
> > NicFogBrat
>
> Faolchú Gaelach,
> "Frumius Bandersnatch"
> PS: The rolled up newspaper is for spreading out to prevent any mementoes from
> winding up on fabrics sequestered in the evidence locker.
Ah, but what a treat to see her try and your reaction.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
> >
> >> <snip>
> >>
> >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
> >> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
> >>
> >> NicFogBrat
> >
> >Have calipers. Will travel.
> >
> >Faolchú Gaelach
> >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
> >
> >
> >
> could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into being
> my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters, used
> to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
> "It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
> get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
> intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
> Jim
portions. This explains why she keeps calling me noodle heed.
dave
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
>
> >No! No! A Scottish sheep!
> >-Conway
> >(And now the Highlander will play me a dirge)
> >
> I know of only two incidents involving sheep. One was a story by my
> uncle who sat on a court martial involving an incident between a sheep
> and a soldier in the Shetlands during the war. He said that afterwards
> you could guarantee a serious assault by this man, simply by saying
> "Mehhhh!" in his presence.
>
> The second was when I noticed some Army cooks on a hillside chasing a
> sheep into a wood and asked a sergeant what they doing. He gave me a
> sent him puffing up the hill to fetch the cooks down to explain to me
> why they were interfering with the local livestock. They said they
> thought it would be a nice treat for the men to have mutton stew. I
> stalked around them silently for two minutes before asking if they'd
> like to reconsider their story which, if it were the one they planned
> to stick to, would result in them being charged with attempted theft.
>
> They finally admitted what their intentions had been. I gave them
> forty-eight hours guard duty for lying to me; any appeals to be
> directed to the colonel who was not noted for a compassionate interest
> in bestialty; hands to be thoroughly scrubbed before touching food
> again; any further sheep-chasing activity to be investigated by a
> court martial. Filthy bastards.
>
> However, I do admire the wit of the young man recently featured in the
> news who was driving home late one night in the southern States and
> decided as he had had no success with humans, to get his rocks off
> with a particularly squishy pumpkin.
>
> While thusly engaged, he was approached by a policewoman who asked him
> to explain his activities. In a brilliant riposte for a man in his
> position, he looked at his watch and said, "Good heavens, is it
> midnight already?" The policewoman said she had to laugh, but she
> still busted him.
>
> go.
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
> "Faire faire dhuin' ňig
> cia do bharantas mór?
> 'N i do bharail bhith
> beň 's nach eug thu?"
This reminds me of an incodent recorded in the Melvieg Times Reporter,
June 22 1994. It seems there was a tour bus up from Glasgow that had
broken down and all the people were put up a local butnben, a small
crofters cottage. Well the local whisky flowe like water, the pipes were
played and the local villagers, all 30 of them turned out enmass to make
the strangers feel welcome. The constable came up from Gairloch to help
with the crowd controle as the population had doubled in size from the
30 up to 65 people and you know what these big city people can be like.
Well to make a short story long, it seems that after the festivities
were done and the people had all passed out in thier combined stupor,
Duncan The Bobby spied one of the visitors, a man called Jimmy, (a lot
of them were) was seen chasing one of the ewes across the fields. Scared
that the man would be caught up in a bog (like quick sand) Duncan The
Bobby gave chase. About a mile or so along the clif Duncan (The Bobby)
finally caught up with the man and to his great surprise the sheep was
standing quietly about 20 feet away. The man, Jimmy" had his manhood
inserted in a welly and as shocked as Duncan, (the Bobby) was he managed
to show his outrage at this lucidiouse act, ( and being from a town the
size of Gairloch Duncan had seen a lot of the seedier side of life) by
screamming, "My God Man what are chew do-h-ing?" the answer from the wee
tourist, " Ach man I'm just fucking a boot" :)
Dave
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> In article <6tpjdu$dr2$1...@news-2.news.gte.net>, "James C. Woodard"
> <gwy...@gte.net> writes
> >
> >>Fog Brat wrote:
> >>
> >>> <snip>
> >>>
> >>> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
> >>> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
> >>>
> >>> NicFogBrat
> >>
> >>Have calipers. Will travel.
> >>
> >>Faolchú Gaelach
> >>"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >First of all Let me apologize to one and all for what, boys and girls I
> >could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into being
> >my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters, used
> >to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
> >"It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
> >get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
> >intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
> >Jim
> >
> Imperial measurement.
>
Or at least that is all you claim.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> James C. Woodard wrote:
>
> > Bryn Fraser wrote in message ...
> > <snip>
> > measurement.
> >
> > equipment, is it Bryn?
>
> > >Bryn Fraser
> > >
> > >
> > >http://www.finhall.demon.co.uk
> >
> > Jim(Mine is bigger than yours) Woodard
>
> ...All done, Bryn. See? That didn't hurt a bit, now did it? Don't forget to
> pick up your tootsie-pop reward at the front desk when you sign out. And, uuuh,
> thanks for participating in the study. };-)
>
> Uuum... Mr. Woo-- Wood-- <groan>
>
> Ehem... Neeeeeeext?
>
> Faolchú Gaelach
> "...Mares eat oats, but wolves eat goats..."
Where did you get a liscense to practice?
Sandy
James C. Woodard
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net
<"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
>James C. Woodard wrote:
>>
>> Cailín J. Callaghan wrote in message <35FC14BB...@whidbey.com>...
>> >Fog Brat wrote:
>> >
>> >> <snip>
>> >>
>> >> I have applied for a grant to fund this study. Openings available
>> >> immediately for subjects. Judges, queue up a line.
>> >>
>> >> NicFogBrat
>> >
>> >Have calipers. Will travel.
>> >
>> >Faolchú Gaelach
>> >"Austin Healey chassis with a tan..."
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> First of all Let me apologize to one and all for what, boys and girls I
>> could not resist posting, a binary. When this thread first came into
being
>> my wife fold me about a device that is provided with condom catheters,
used
>> to measure penises. None of the nurses use them because, as Ellen says,
>> "It's not as if you can't eyeball them and judge the size close enough to
>> get a fit". Now without further ado, ladies here is the actual tool(pun
>> intended) you will be using for your research. See attached binary.
>> Jim
>portions. This explains why she keeps calling me noodle heed.
Oh, please don't do this this early in the morning, I had too much of the
water of life last night and isn't it a little early in Texas?
Jim(It's hard to be witty with you head in a sling) Woodard
Modra Dubh
your eyes at first glance!
-Conway
--
Ni dheanfach an saol capall ras d'asal
<"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net> wrote in message
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
>> I want to remind you that where I come from there's a helluva gap
>> between the trees - about 30 miles. I might fall and hurt myself!
>>
>> (With grateful acknowledgement to Johnny Polson.)
>>
>> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
>
>I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
>
>Sandy
You've been keeking, haven't you?
Nancy Ford
just slipped out.
Nancy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> On 18 Sep 1998 14:49:24 GMT,
> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>
> >Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
>
> >> I want to remind you that where I come from there's a helluva gap
> >> between the trees - about 30 miles. I might fall and hurt myself!
> >>
> >> (With grateful acknowledgement to Johnny Polson.)
> >>
> >> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
> >
> >I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
> >
> >Sandy
>
> You've been keeking, haven't you?
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
I don't know about keeking but I have heard stories.
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
And which reason is that may I ask?
Sandy
Ian Stewart
Phŕdruig) wrote:
First part snipped
>
>Then there are cooks who I honestly believe join the Army Catering
>Corps because they know they won't be asked to fight unless we're down
>to our last man.
>
>They're the ones who produce the endless trays of congealed fried eggs
>- if you've been in the British Army, I need say no more; you know
>what I'm talking about. They're the ones who know that if you boil a
>vegetable for an hour there's no way it can be raw.
>
>And they're the ones who look hurt when you point out that their oven
>is in imminent danger of being declared a World Heritage site as,
>thanks to sloppy maintenance, it has become an archeological record of
>all the meals that were ever cooked in it.
>
I once actually heard the Officer of the day use the famous words
whilst attempting to defuse a near riot regarding the food quality.
"Who called the cook a b*st*rd ?"
and received the expected chorused reply and laughter
"Who called the b*st*rd a cook ?"
Being REME and, like the cooks, only attached to the Royal Engineers,
we had a relationship with them and were always OK for rations.
Oh, the days !
Ian Stewart
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
"ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
>>
>> On 18 Sep 1998 14:49:24 GMT,
>> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>> >I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
>>
>> You've been keeking, haven't you?
>I don't know about keeking but I have heard stories.
>
See if you can get sworn affidavits - I need all the support I can
get!
Micheil Rob Mac Phàdruig
<Use-Author-Address-Header@[127.1]> wrote:
>
>Another thing I remember about cooks, they could never work without
>scratching. If it wasn't their belly, it was their arse. If I ever saw
>their hand go under their apron I lost all appetite.
It's nothing new - Chaucer wrote about a cook in the 1300s who had a
sore which he would pick at before handling food!
>>Micheil Rob Mac PhÓdruig wrote:
>><God, I'm getting boring.>
>
>You're never that, Micheil Rob. I enjoy your posts, though I would enjoy
>your whisky more.
I could send you one of my daughters - I hate to part with my whisky!
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> <Use-Author-Address-Header@[127.1]> wrote:
> >
> >Another thing I remember about cooks, they could never work without
> >scratching. If it wasn't their belly, it was their arse. If I ever saw
> >their hand go under their apron I lost all appetite.
>
> It's nothing new - Chaucer wrote about a cook in the 1300s who had a
> sore which he would pick at before handling food!
>
> >>Micheil Rob Mac PhÓdruig wrote:
> >><God, I'm getting boring.>
> >
> >You're never that, Micheil Rob. I enjoy your posts, though I would enjoy
> >your whisky more.
>
> I could send you one of my daughters - I hate to part with my whisky!
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
You really are out to get this guy. I am warning you now, his daughters
are to be watched out for.
sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> Ach nooo, Sandy, you'd draw close to admire the wonder of it, not believing
> your eyes at first glance!
> -Conway
> --
Yea, wonder where it is.... hehehehe
Sandy
"gaya@world...@postoffice.att.net
>
> >>
> >> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>
> >> >I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
> >>
> >> You've been keeking, haven't you?
>
> >I don't know about keeking but I have heard stories.
> >
> See if you can get sworn affidavits - I need all the support I can
> get!
>
> Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
While attempting to get sworn affidavits from all participating all I
could get was a bunch of giggles. Perhaps you know what that means.
Sandy
thee...@calpha.com
ga...@worldnet.att.net@postoffice.att.net wrote:
> Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote:
> >
> > On 18 Sep 1998 23:59:02 -0000, Banjo
> > <Use-Author-Address-Header@[127.1]> wrote:
> > >
> > >Another thing I remember about cooks, they could never work without
> > >scratching. If it wasn't their belly, it was their arse. If I ever saw
> > >their hand go under their apron I lost all appetite.
> >
> > Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
>
> I remember sitting at the the fish shop in Acadamy Street in Inverness one
> day at dinner time. (Lunch in the U.S.) The waiter brought me lovely hot bowl
> of Scotch Broth , but when he laid it on the table I was disturbed to see his
> thumb in it.
Later he brought me a lovely big ashet of stovies, and again there was thumb
stuck right in ma gravey. Oichin Oichin it was a terrible thing.
I was quite relieved to see his thumb had not entered ma jelly when he brought
it, but sickened when it appeared in ma coffee right after. Well I had had
enough so I confronted the rough. Listen you says I. Every time you have
brought me something hot to eat your bloody thumb has been stuck in it and I
want to know why.....
Well sir says the waiter. I was running out of the car this morning in an auful
rush to get to work, and I slammed my thiumb in the door. Well you see sir when
I went to the doctor he cold me to keep it in a warm place.
Well says I why don't you stick your thumb up your arse then and keep it out of
the food???
Oh sir that's where I keep it when I'm no serving says the waiter.
Dave
James C. Woodard
Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote in message
<36043754...@news.whidbey.com>...
>On 19 Sep 1998 12:39:33 GMT,
>>> "ga...@worldnet.att.net"@postoffice.att.net wrote:
>
>>> >I thought you came with a pole valt as standard equipment.
>>>
>>> You've been keeking, haven't you?
>
>>I don't know about keeking but I have heard stories.
>>
>See if you can get sworn affidavits - I need all the support I can
>get!
I thought that was what the wheelbarrow was for.
Jim(I thought affidavits were what golfer had to replace after a shot)
Woodard
Lee E. Brown
>I need all the support I can get!
So we've heard. Have you looked into implants?
lieneil
record for number of entries? And what would the answer mean? Keep UP
the good work - and what about clitori?
Ian Stewart wrote:
>
> On Tue, 15 Sep 1998 16:58:29 GMT, wayne mccollum <"
> virgil.mccollum"@sw.boeing.com> wrote:
>
> >>
> >> <> > Jill Daniels wrote in message <35fcd7ae.16378086@news>...
> >> <> > >I saw a article from a survey that proved Scottish men had
> >> <> > >significantly larger penises then English men or most other men of
> >> <> > >Europe. Does anyone remember the name of this study ?
> >> <> > >
> I can't recall but the author, a lady, was seated next to a friend of
> mine on a long haul flight and they fell to discussing the matter.
> On being informed that the Scots were the best endowed, he asked who
> were next in line and was told that native Americans were in second
> place.
>
> He subsequently took the name of Cochise Mackenzie.
>
> Lotta (brother of Sitting) Bull MacFatrock
James C. Woodard
Micheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig wrote in message
>On Sun, 20 Sep 1998 16:32:06 -0700, "James C. Woodard"
><gwy...@gte.net> wrote:
>
>>>See if you can get sworn affidavits - I need all the support I can
>>>get!
>>
>>I thought that was what the wheelbarrow was for.
>>Jim(I thought affidavits were what golfer had to replace after a shot)
>>Woodard
>
>
>Měcheil Rob Mac Phŕdruig
> "Faire faire dhuin' ňig
> cia do bharantas mór?
> 'N i do bharail bhith
> beň 's nach eug thu?"
>
Jim(I never drop the soap) Woodard