Revealed: the most dangerous biscuit in Britain is ... the Custard Cream
La N
Revealed: The most dangerous biscuit in Britain is.. the Custard Cream
Sep 8 2009 By Janice Burns
CUSTARD creams are Britain's most dangerous biscuits, it was revealed
yesterday A study claimed an estimated 25million people in Britain had been
injured by biscuits.
Hidden dangers included flying fragments and daredevil dunking in scalding
tea. And custard creams were the worst offenders, posing the biggest risk to
innocent dunkers.
Around 500 people a year need hospital treatment because of biscuit
injuries.
The study by Mindlab found 29 per cent of adults had been splashed or
scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants from hot
tea.
They also found 28 per cent had choked on crumbs and 10 per cent had broken
a tooth or filling biting a biccy.
More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a
biscuit and seven per cent were bitten by a pet or "other wild animal"
trying to get their biscuit.
One man ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray
biscuit.
Mindlab have now devised a Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation, or B.I.T.E.
Custard creams get a risk rating of 5.63.
The study was commissioned by Rocky - which was rated the country's third
riskiest type of biscuit.
Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical
properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their
consumption such as dunkability and crumb dispersal.
"Then a mathematician correlated these findings with a nationwide survey of
over 1000 adults."
Mike Driver, of Rocky, said: "Working with biscuits every day, we'd long
suspected they're not as innocent as they look - and we were right."
The Phantom Piper
>
> Around 500 people a year need hospital treatment
> because of biscuit injuries.
Hmmm... I wonder what percentage of American Presidents
have been placed in dire straits by murderous Pretzels?
Oh - that'd be 2.27%, I reckon...
And then there was this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWUaN2HagRo
RepugliKKKan Residential Candidate Gary Bauer,
who was beat up by a Pancake he was attempting
to flip whilst channelling Bob Dole:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWib8GbrIlA
Always Amused By The Slapstick-Dummy Party,
The Phantom Piper
Adam Whyte-Settlar
"The Phantom Piper" <ThePhan...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:f3619d15-8850-48a2...@m7g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
On Sep 8, 10:06 pm, "La N" <nilita2004NOS...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Around 500 people a year need hospital treatment
> because of biscuit injuries.
Hmmm... I wonder what percentage of American Presidents
have been placed in dire straits by murderous Pretzels?
Oh - that'd be 2.27%, I reckon...
And then there was this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWUaN2HagRo
RepugliKKKan Residential Candidate Gary Bauer,
who was beat up by a Pancake he was attempting
to flip whilst channelling Bob Dole:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWib8GbrIlA
Sting, the singer, almost got himself killed via a McVities Digestive
biscuit apparently.
He was doing his celebrity tree-hugging routine with a collection of
Yanamani Indians in the Amazon somewhere when it struck him it would be an
enormous joke to lodge a whole one in his mouth over his bottom lip and
waggle it about a la the stretched lips custom of the tribal chieftains.
Apparently the assembled company were not in the least amused by this wizard
wheeze and it took some emergency dimplomatic efforts by his translators and
support crew to prevent his head becoming a shrivelled-up ornament in the
head goncho's hut.
I don't know if this is really true but it's certainly plausable that they
would have taken some very British digestives with them as part of their
supplies and I've always loved the story.
The Phantom Piper
>
> Sting, the singer,
Meaning Gordon Sumner, the English Teacher.
> almost got himself killed via a McVities
> Digestive biscuit apparently.
Go on...
> He was doing his celebrity tree-hugging routine
> with a collection of Yanamani Indians in the Amazon
> somewhere when it struck him it would be an
> enormous joke to lodge a whole one in his mouth
> over his bottom lip and waggle it about a la the
> stretched lips custom of the tribal chieftains.
> Apparently the assembled company were not
> in the least amused by this wizard wheeze and
> it took some emergency dimplomatic efforts
> by his translators and support crew to prevent
> his head becoming a shrivelled-up ornament
> in the head goncho's hut.
So - he nearly died choking on his Ego, then?
Plausible,
The Phantom Piper