"He Eats 'Human Flesh like Potatoes'" by Reuben Abati
Joshua Meisler
by Reuben Abati
February 12, 1999
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"Have you been there?"
"Where?"
"The biggest tourist attraction in town, the museum of 1999."
"And where could that be?"
"Oshodi-Isolo road, by DHL bus-stop."
"Oh, you mean that madman's shack where he killed human beings and ate
them like potatoes? How do I watch that kind of cinema? The whole thing
is nauseating. I can't imagine myself going to watch a cannibal's
abattoir. I'd never be the same again after that."
"Then, you are missing something. Last weekend, I was there. And I was
not alone. That part of Lagos has become a big tourist attraction.
People parked their cars on the road, and leaned over the bridge; others
walked directly to Clifford Orji's hide-out to see things for
themselves."
"Oh, yes. I have read about that madness in the papers. I think
something is wrong with Nigerians. Another man's misfortune is always
for them a source of drama. And you people like cinema too much,
particularly morbid cinema. I hear people were digging the madman's
shack to see if they could locate wherever he hid his money and cellular
phone. I have also seen those almanacs that have been produced to
commemorate the discovery of the cannibal. The way you people are
carrying on, I wouldn't be surprised if Clifford Orji is named 'Man of
the Year'."
"I don't get your point. If people don't go and see things for
themselves, how would they believe? I mean, the thing is so bizarre, so
nearly unbelievable. In fact, I was going to suggest that the Lagos
State Government should take over those shacks, preserve them, and
charge fees. Lagos State can earn a lot of revenue from this. After all,
to every dark cloud there is a silver lining."
"Nonsense. There is no silver lining here. I don't see the sense in the
way the media is celebrating this issue, and how people have turned it
into pure theatre. I think we all should be sober. What this means is
that something is fundamentally wrong with our society. When one of us
begins to eat other human beings, then something has gone wrong with our
society. Certainly, there are others like Clifford Orji who not only
eat human beings, but who use body parts for ritual purposes. For me, it
is sobering and frustrating. We need to cleanse this society with
prayers."
"There you go again. You are making the matter sound so serious. The
suspects are mad people. Orji is being tested by psychiatrists. The
police have declared his suspected accomplice, Dahiru Aliyu, a
pathological drug addict. It is not as if the whole of Nigeria is faced
with a crisis of cannibalism. It is not as if we are all eating each
other up. These things happen. Even in Europe and America, you find one
or two human beings who just go round the bend, and do crazy things."
"On the contrary, I don't think Orji is mad. I think the man knew
exactly what he was doing. He was smart enough to barricade his hide-out
with tyres, and to identify it as a 'Native Doctor's Shack'. That is not
a madman at work. He also targeted specific victims: women who wore hair
attachments. Is that a madman?"
"That is not for us to determine. Let the psychiatrists say so. But now
that you know that Orji likes a certain class of women, I hope you have
told your sisters not to wear wigs and attachments. You know, you never
know."
"The flesh of every member of my family is unfit for human consumption."
"How do you know?"
"I know it. My family is already sanctified by the blood of Jesus."
"Even Clifford Orji can quote the Bible. You better don't deceive
yourself."
"What does it matter? He is already in police custody."
"He could be released sooner than you think."
"That's impossible."
"In Nigeria, everything is possible. The best that can be done is to
charge him to court, which the police have done already. Don't be
surprised if he gets a good lawyer who could prove his innocence."
"No lawyer will do that."
"Lawyers can do anything. When they are in court, they can argue with
their heads between their legs, just to win a case."
"This one is a straightforward case. It is a criminal case."
"Nothing is straightforward before the law. The case can even drag on
for years. Then, when the public has forgotten about it, Orji can
negotiate his freedom, and return to 'business'."
"I don't believe that."
"You better begin to do so. I have already told my own female relations
and friends: No more wigs and false hair attachments."
"Really, this is a tough country."
"Now, you see the point. Nigeria has become one huge market of bad
tales. That is what happens when a country loses direction."
"But how can anybody eat human flesh?"
"Why not? This is one country that I have seen where people eat dogs and
cats. What do you expect from people who eat dogs? A dog is the closest
pet to human beings. The cat is equally a clean animal. But you,
yourself, know that many Nigerians consider these animals a special
delicacy."
"Don't generalise. It is not all Nigerians who eat them."
"I didn't say all. I said many, and surely you must know the dog-eaters
and cat-eaters in our midst. They call dog meat '404'. I don't know what
name they have for cat meat."
"Still, it is bad."
"When you have tasted dogs and cats, you are bound to start looking for
human beings, too, as potential stuff for the pot."
"But there is no way human meat can taste fine in anybody's mouth."
"Well, it tasted fine in Clifford Orji's mouth. That is why he could
boast to the magistrate that he ate 'human flesh like potatoes'. You
wouldn't know until you taste it, too."
"God forbid."
"You may have eaten it before without knowing. You know you are a
bachelor; you eat anywhere, anyhow. And you are a suya addict. Some of
these {mama-put} and suya joints, I understand, experiment with all
kinds of meat."
"Human meat?"
"Don't be alarmed. Those women who run food joints are capable of
anything. To them, business is business. I have told you: go and get
yourself a wife."
"Nobody wants to marry me."
"There is a girl out there for every man."
"The girls I want don't want me. All these educated girls, they want a
man who is already established. They don't want to struggle with a man.
And you know me, 'struggle' is my middle name."
"Then, set your sights lower. Target girls with a lower capacity for
resistance. You don't have to marry an educated girl. These ones wear
wigs, anyway."
"But what do you think government can do?"
"About your not finding someone to marry?"
"No, silly. About cannibalism in the land."
"What can government do? The laws are there, whoever is caught can be
sued for murder. That's all."
"Just that?"
"Just that. Murder is a serious offence. It carries the capital penalty
- death, upon conviction."
"But don't you think government should issue a statement to reassure the
public and the international community?"
"Why?"
"You forget that Clifford's shack is so close to the Murtala Muhammed
International Airport? Do you think foreigners will still be interested
in visiting Nigeria when, only a stone-throw from the airport, they
could be captured by cannibals."
"That's scaremongering. Things are not that bad."
"But at least the Head of State, General Abubakar, should visit the
scene of the incident, to show that government is also concerned. After
all, the man is a tourist and, as you say, Clifford's shack is the
biggest tourist attraction in the country at the moment."
"You are insulting the Head of State. What do you mean by saying he is a
tourist?"
"I meant to say that he is a travelling Head of State. The man is always
on the move seeing the world."
"Okay, he was in Jordan recently. That is understandable."
"From there, he jetted out to Montego Bay, in Jamaica."
"And so?"
"Let the man sit at home. There are more important things to attend to
in the country. He can't be moonlighting across the world while
politicians are misbehaving at home, and cannibals are having fun."
© 1999 Reuben Abati and The Guardian Newspapers (Lagos, Nigeria)