Lao Bride Price
Local1234
What is the current bride price for a girl's hand in marriage these days?
$10,000 or more? Her parents required $10,000 plus a 24karat gold chain
necklace and more.. Is this reasonable? The girl is very beautiful and a
great cook. She's got a wonderful personality. And she's got a degree in
Business Administration.. Above all, she's the sweetest Lao girl he ever met.
The problem? She's a bit too old. Her age is 29 years old. What is an
acceptable bride-price for her?
John Toledo
Hard to put a price on love isn't it? I hope you get some answers. I
am interested. My Lao bride cost 2,000 American plus full ounce 24
carat gold necklace and 24 C. pendant, gold ring and wedding costs.
She is 28, no college but to me THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, BEST COOK and THE
SWEETEST Lao woman in the world! Jump back Brittany Spears, your
charms are ZIP compared to a Lao woman! Hey? Does it sound like I care
for this woman? :-) I just wish there was some way to speed up the
brainless sluggards at INS! Thank God they are doing away with that
wastrel department and forming two new ones! By the way, the price
sounds okay to me. John
Her Lao
I hope "the sweetest Lao girl" in question is not our beloved Sao Sou
Maly from Seatle!
I would hate to lose her to some sweet talkin' big White man who loves
sweet, beautiful Lao maids who are a bit old by their "traditional
standards" but who are nevertheless ageless, family-oriented, faithful,
docile, demure, shadow-seeking, acquiescence, and most of all
exceptional chefs.
Big American men, some at least, are just tired of these big blond
girls, the "real American," college sorority types who like to drive by
McDonald's in JO Simpson style (classy cars), eh? Terrible!, just
terrible! Whitle these petite, nice, sweet, docile chefs from Asia,,,
if you find any of these treasure, perhaps even a bride price of $10K,
$20K, or even $30K, how could they ever be juxtaposed against what you
gonna get from a life time of pampering from these sweet Asian girls!!
Makes me wanna sound like some mighty insane Spanish -- no, may be Lao
or Hmong -- conquistadores and come here to cyberspace and ask seemingly
innocent and genuinely questions about these "sweet, big, beautiful real
blond American girls" and how they are so cheap, cost next to nothin',
too!
Do you average joes see how insane, insipid, distasteful, disrespectful,
and entirely low-classed it is to come here and ask question about how
much you or your friend should or should not pay for your beautiful-
sweet-docile-demure-good-cook-but-29-year-old Lao or Asian girls?
Again, askin' stupid questions like that is EXACTLY like coming here
into cyberspace and asking questions like "I'm marrying a beautiful,
tall, blond American girls [like those from the 'Valley of the Dolls']
but she don't cost me more'n a diamond ring and I'm beginnin' to suspect
there's something goin' on here; it don't sound too right; do you folks
know why or what's goin' on?"
For an ethnic, or a group of people, to question its own cultural and
customary beliefs and practices -- even in regards to bride price,
dowries, sacred songs, rituals, and rites of passage, what-not -- is ONE
THING.
For YOU -- an "outsider" or perhaps I should call an "outcast" -- to
question the evolutionary sanctity of a tradition (and all that it
entails)of another ethnic or people BECAUSE you've found and wanted to
marry someone "sweet, loving, and a good cook" from within it, it makes
you exhibit less-than-average behavior, finesse, class, and manliness.
In short, it makes you an idiot!
Now, the question is, then, why would any woman -- Lao, Hmong, Irish,
Vietnamese, Italian, or what-not -- wanna marry you? Because of low
self-esteem, puppy-love, your perceived bigness or manliness? I don't
know!
If I ever came to cyberspace (or to my "buddies" at work, to my
"brothers" in a college campus or at the pub, or waht-not) and asked:
"I've found and wanted to marry a real' beautiful, down to earth blond
American girl [of Irish, Italian, Scandinavian, English, Swedish,
wath-not descent], but her customary beliefs and practices say she don't
cost nothin' except a big wedding and a dimond of my own choosing,,, can
you folks give me some opinion as to whether or not it is WORTH IT",,,,
,,, I hope I'd be tarred, feathered, and shot dead immediately for such
outrageous exhibition of poor taste, atrocious behavior, stupidity, and
insipid thoughts ,,, even just the thoughts alone along such lines make
me an idiot of the calibre where no self-respecting human being,
including women, should take seriously, much less marrying!
Hawj Lauj,
P.S. A genuine conciliatory note for the genuinely naive souls who
function at their primordial levels only but may be salvageable: go talk
to the woman you're marrying, her parents and relatives. Find out how to
prepare for a traditional marriage of their liking. What you should or
should not do during the rituals. Keep your mouth zipped and just enjoy
it! At least, for me, if I was intending on marrying some green Martian
and she [or it] intents to observe her/its customary practices and
rituals, I'd just do it as she and her beliefs and practices say.
Otherwise, she and and I'd be seen doing some drive-by via some
expidited marriage windows in Las Vegas! Either way, I don't show to
the world and don't prove to my beloved Martian my natural inclinations
towards idiocy and stupidity, why I HAVE to do A, B, or C when measuring
against any standards, including her Martian standards, she's a bit old,
a bit crooked, missing one horn, less than average in intelligence, and
have a certain peculiar habits of annoying me -- despite, of course,
qualities like family-orientedness, faithfulness, exceptional cook
ability, attentiveness, docileness, ad nauseam!
"John Toledo" <john....@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:7f08a5e4.02052...@posting.google.com
--
Posted via Mailgate.ORG Server - http://www.Mailgate.ORG
drsouk
what about "sweet, big, beautiful real
blond American girls" ?
Her Lao
Hawj Lauj
"drsouk" <drs...@wanadoo.fr> wrote in message
news:acoekg$pk3$1...@wanadoo.fr
> sabaidi hl,
> what about "sweet, big, beautiful real
> blond American girls" ?
born to be lao
sabaidee 1234,
Does she love him as much as he loves her? 29 years old is not bad
if your friend is about 30's something. is she a virgin? maybe your
friend doesn't care,but in lao's tradition most lao men prefered to
marry a girl that still a virgin.
Money and age shouldn't be the obstacle problems to be
considered,,,if the age is to be the problem, your friend shouldn't
even spent time to interact with someone is older to begin
with,,,$10,000 is atleast the minimum requirements for wedding
ceremony.
To me is worth it,,, and she had got degree and a great cooker,,, If
no money,,,use the credit cards,,get the girl first,,,both of you can
pay off credit card later,,if bad credit? well!! final solution,,run
away together,,,Not a bad idea huhhh! (*_*)
sok dee
cheers!___born to be lao
Fraidy-Cat
You should be aware of that price tag since her parents do not intend
to sell their daughter. You need to be a cultured person. To her
parents, she is priceless. Money will not and cannot buy their
daughter. The $10,000 dollars and a few 24 karats of gold are nothing
but the representation of who you are. You will be taking her as your
wife. They are questioning you. Are you ready to commit to her and to
love her? $10,000 dollars and a few 24 karat of gold mean nothing if
you really love her. It is all about proving yourself to her parents.
That is all of what her parents are telling you. You need to get that
concept in your mind. Again, you are showing to her parents that
you're a responsible person and have the capability to take care of
their daughter. Most of the time, that money will go back to both of
you at the end. So never think of her in term of dollars and cents
because you will ruin your relationship with her and her parents.
Regards,
John Toledo
Gee whiz! I am not real sure what local 1234 had in mind with his
question? It sounded innoculous enough to me? AND rather than go into
a detailed discription of a persons charms,"sweet, loving, intelligent
and a good cook" should express to anyone that you think the world of
the person. Fraidy cat got the message, no one is thinking of BUYING
another human being, it's just like he said. It's a tradition and in
America prospective grooms "Lay" their skills out for the parents to
see that their daughter will be taken care of. That's also a
tradition.What's the difference? hard cash or the prospect of hard
cash? This thread sure brought out the racists and sexists opinions
and stereo-typers! For shame! Take the time to read and at least try
to understand the content before you jump on your PERSONEL band wagon
and start burning 'witches'! "Big, beautiful, blonde American women?"
You been watching too much 'Bay Watch' dude. Finally, there are a
small percent of people who look a little deeper than the skin for a
life long commitment. Don't struggle with that thought too much,
you'll hurt yourself. Shoo lay log jay ge, as my Bhutanese friend
would say. John
John Toledo
OOPS! I addressed the wrong person. local 1234 was not the original
poster. Here I go off about reading something first and then make a
faux pas like that!!! What REALLY gets me is that this is the FIRST
mistake I've ever made in my life and it had to be on a public forum.
Boy is my face red! (Actually pionk to ruddy since I'm "white.")
Brushoff2
>From: "drsouk" drs...@wanadoo.fr
>Date: 5/25/02 11:39 AM Central Daylight Time
>Message-id: <acoekg$pk3$1...@wanadoo.fr>
>
>sabaidi hl,
>what about "sweet, big, beautiful real
>blond American girls" ?
>
Brushoff2
>Date: 5/26/02 12:25 AM Central Daylight Time
>Message-id: <7f08a5e4.02052...@posting.google.com>
with the in-laws and eat padddack and drink with the relatives at all cost too.
LadyDeath
----------------------
This is the saddest topic I've read. We don't live in the past
anymore. Move on with the modern world and stop selling your
daughters. Have some dignity and pride! My gosh! I didn't know that
laotian girls are worth only a price tag of only $10,000 and some gold
chains! My car is even worth much more! If you put a price tag on
yourself or on the person you love, than they are no more than a
possession in your hand. What ever happend to "Partners in
Life"..."Best Friends"..."Life long Companionship"..."Love"...I guess
those things don't really mean anything to anyone anymore when it
comes to marriage. If you want a good cook...why not post a job
request in the classafied ad for "experience cook, good in cleaning,
certified caretaker, etc"...Come on! Oh...I get it Laotian girls are
much cheaper than hiring a maid. At least you only paid a one time
price and the rest you just have to feed her. Hmmm...good idea.
Especially if she can pump out a bunch of babies for you too.
Wow..you get a maid, you get a cook, you get a baby machine, you get
your ego, you get your controll, and you get your self esteen. Great!
All Laotian girls...let's cheers for how men actually think of us!
LadyDeath
John Toledo
Been there, done that, love my in-laws. They, unlike some bigots I
won't mention, love me too. Go figure? Guess there are some Lao's with
brains and some who just brush off intelligence as
unnecessary........picture a smirk on my pasty, white face.
Xue
are different reasons how and what a parent prices their daughters
dowry. Some parents are greedy, period. They want to get as much as
they can for their daughters. This is not a sale price but a greed and
respect price for their daughter AND her mate. Some parents want to
out-price their friend's daughters so they can say their daughter was
so much more than the others. It's an "I'm better than you" attitude
with some parents. This is the truth if you really want to admit it.
Other parents might not think you deserve their daughter and want a
high bride price, just...because. Some parents don't think much of
their own daughters and want a high price for her...just because. Some
parents price their daughters high because they want something back
from all the shit they put up with their daughters. And on and on and
on...
On the other hand, there are good parents who genuinly love their
daughters and YOU and beleive you are a part of their family and you
shouldn't start off your lives together poor so they price their
daughters low. Some still will price high because they DO value their
daughters. You have to take each situation on it's own. Know her
parents' thoughts then you can say whether the price was appropriate.
Bottom line is how your in-laws feel about you is sometimes how they
determine the dowry. Not always but it could be.
I'm a Hmong married to a Lao girl. My wife, at the time, was pre-med
at UCLA. I was a community college drop-out. Her parents didn't
approve of me marrying her and told her not to marry me because I was
not educated AND a Hmong. Her parents had been around good Hmong
people all their lives but still had a prejudice towards Hmongs. And,
I was not an educated person. When we did break the news to her
parents of our intentions to marry, there were rumblings of a high
dowry for her...around $10,000. I had a lot of Lao friends and they
were concerned about what we might have to give. They told me if her
parents asked for that much then it was because they didn't like me. I
already knew that.
To make a long story short my wife's dowry was, I think $3700. I have
a good reputation with the local Lao community and I'm sure a lot of
them helped to talk some sense into my wife's parents. My in-laws are
more understanding of people now because of me, and, their two sons
have grown up to take different path's so they understand more about
other people and life in America in general. My mother-in-law still
has an "I'm better than you" attitude, or, at least an "I'm as good as
you" attitude. But, I think that's ingrained in her. The sad thing is
she's rather "dumb" compared to other's her age.
Nam...@yahoo.com (LadyDeath) wrote in message news:<a54fb2a1.02052...@posting.google.com>...
laophouan
To all x-Lao you don't know Prapenee Lao at all is not price of
their daughter, is the commitment, how serious you are, parents know
love come and go among young Lao man,if any thing happen their daughter
who are carrying the kids, is no welfare in Lao,
secondly is testing that young man if he has gust, is he work hard
and save money?, is he able to taking care of the family, money
is not easy to make but money is work well in Lao.
pizone
Dowry is one of lao tradition, it must be good for lao people that's
why most of us keep practicing it until today no matter where they
live. Lao people take the family matter seriously. Traditionally, man
is leader of the family (working for a living), woman is manager
(running the house, spending, saving...). Men compared to elephant
front legs, women to the rear ones. All legs must work together to
keep the elephant (family) moving. As a young man who wants to build
his new family, he better be prepared. Dowry is the first step to test
how serious he is, to remind and force him to be a responsible man
from the beginning. Most parents want 礎ig' dowry for their daughter
and their family, but in practice, the said-dowry never be the same as
its actual 宋alue'. The case of Xue ($10,000 down to $3,700) is a good
example. In many cases, it's the bride parents themselves who pay for
the wedding ceremony, if they really like the groom. Usually most of
the dowry's money are used in the wedding ceremony expenses and some
parents even give the rest back to the newlyweds.
If you want to marry to a white woman, I mean the one who lives with
her family and not the run away babe, do you think you can have a free
marriage? You may not give her parents dowry, but I'm sure at least
you have to buy her engagement diamond ring. In India it's the bride
who pay dowry to the groom side. My point is not about money but about
traditional matter, people from different culture may see the same
thing differently, therefore there's nothing wrong about lao
tradition. Don't put on lao bride or any ethnic bride. If you don't
like tradition than don't marry to lao woman. Remember if you don't
have money for dowry, lao people are simple and easy going human being
on earth, all lao parents want from you is to be make sure that you're
a good, responsible, and hard working man, that you can take care of
their daughter, even in the modern world, most lao women can take care
of themselves... and if you're or they think you are, then there
always have the case "KinKorn PhonNamLung".
Hakpheng
pizone
pizone
".... Don't put PRICE on lao bride or any ethnic bride. If you don't
like LAO tradition than don't marry to lao woman. ..."
pizone
Charlie
raise that kind of question. No sweet Lao or Hmong girl is for sale
for that matter. If your best friend is serious and thinks he's
worthy of marrying this sister of ours, he needs to get on his knees
and start praying for Bhudda to forgive him; only then he can come
back here and post a question of how to approach her parents for this
marriage. If price still remains as his concern, I recommend that he
looks into your local zoo. I think a chimpazee or guerrilla runs
around $15,000 - 25,000; that's if it were for sale. Sheeps and goats
are cheaper; they are in the single digit range. Best to stay with a
dogs since white people are fond of dogs anyway.
Charlie
loca...@aol.com (Local1234) wrote in message news:<20020525040031...@mb-ct.aol.com>...
Joe Garall
wrote:
>> with,,,$10,000 is atleast the minimum requirements for wedding
>> ceremony.
That's total bullshit, they want to rip him off which means that they
disrespect him and that he shouldn't trust them at all. Laos is
poorer than Thailand, where locals in the poor northeastern region of
Isan can still marry for about 20.000 to 30.000 Baht, which would be
something between 500 and 700 USD. Additionally there might be given a
gold chain to the parents worth another 500 USD. Girls from higher
society - if there is such a thing - may ask more but on the other
hand the fact that the mentioned girl is studied means that she will
most probably be able to make her own way and earn her living. So in a
country that is statistically poorer than Thailand and might be
compared to Cambodia where you can also marry for an equivalent of
about 1000 USD (which is usually spent for the ceremony and the party
and might be lost if the invited guests don't have much to give back)
a sum of 10.000 USD is a fraud. If they charge more from you than from
locals, it is racism. I know of locals who married without any money
and had just a small party - in all three southeastasian countries.
They married out of love and their parents agreed. It is possible.
Even an 18 year old virgin at a bar in Pattaya would not be sold for
more than 500 to 700 USD.
Joe
Sri Sattanakarahut
Joe,
I think we are talking about dowry, here. Dowry is a Lao traditional way
of offering a
monetary gift to the bride's parents to show the groom's appreciation for
allowing their daughter to marry. Most of the time it's the bride's
parents that decide how much the groom will have to provide.
The "how much" usually determine by the bride and her family social
status. If the bride's family is a multimillionaire and she is a Ph.D.
from Yale then $100,000 will probably be a minimum. Of course, most of
the time the $100,000 is just a symbolic gesture to save both you and your
future in-law's faces. In reality and in most cases you probably don't
have to pay a penny. The key here is communication. Don't be so
egotistic person especially avoid acting superego in front of her
daddy...it will only makes the daddy asks more gold chains from you. Have
an open discussion with the bride's parents. Be honest, and tell them the
truth, i.e. tell them the truth about you, don't say you are a Ph.D., rich
and all when in reality you're not, etc., etc., etc. Most of the Lao
parents are generous and reasonable.
Sri.
Joe Garall
<Sattana...@fakemail.com> wrote:
>have to pay a penny. The key here is communication. Don't be so
>egotistic person especially avoid acting superego in front of her
>daddy..
You mix things up. It is egoistic to ask for such sums (dowries).
>.it will only makes the daddy asks more gold chains from you.
It doesn't matter. Here two cultures clash. Refusing the dowry
tradition is a clear way to appreciate love and put it above money.
Each Laotian can understand that. It is also the Buddha's teaching,
therefore each Laotian SHOULD understand it.
By the way, when I was in Laos I found the people there as greedy as
in Thailand (when meeting foreigners, at least), but less adapting to
their habits.
Joe
Noiy
C'mon Joe, wake up! You did not seem to read the messages from the
original poster and John carefully. They were talking about the
marriage of a friend to and the dowry for a Laotian girl living and
studying in Seattle, USA. She has a degree in Business. I found it
absolutely amazing that the mere mentioning of the word Lao girls
seemed to ring immediately into your brain of those poor Lao girls in
Laos and in Isan or those sold in Pattaya for a few hundreds of
dollars (..."Girls from higher society - if there is such a thing,..."
: amazing how you get used to those Bangkokian mentality and thinking
toward girls of Lao origin in Thailand). And you mentioned that the
Lao girl family might be even racist because of the high amount of
dowry that those poor lao people requested. But, based on your
posting, you do not appear to be mature enough to even realize you are
yourselves a very prejudicious person. The dowry has much less to do
with the living standard that differs between Laos and Thailand than
with the dignity of the girls and their family. If you would like to
compare the standard of living, it would be between the US and Laos,
and not between Laos and Thailand. Wedding in the US is very costly
and $10,000 is not a fraud.
I have known so many Laotian families, including my own relatives,
poor and rich here in the US and in Laos who have their daughters
getting married to Laotian men and a few to westerners. At the end of
the ceremony and party, the rest of the money, including dowry and
gift from guests, ended up all going to the girl and their husband.
How poor they may be, all the family cares about is the future of
their daughter family to live peacefully and with dignity.
Noiy
Her Lao
You are right about people (everywhere's) "greed" and their "habits".
And here's the most cogent view on this issue of "bride price" and/or
"dowries". (A bride price is technically really different from a dowry:
the former is demanded of the groom and thus given by him, while the
latter is SOMETIMES obligated by the bride and her parents. But in
reality, they are two sides of the same coin: equally negative,
uninspiring, unegalitarian, what-not.)
Actually, the issue is multi-faceted: it has to do with not just the
bride price, the dowry, the individuals but also their families and
their ethnic or tribal-cultural norms and mores.
In short, many Asians -- both males and females -- are only able to
define themselves IN TERMS OF others (Asians, they argue both implicitly
and explicitly) who think, act, and carry on beliefs and practices, they
say, like they do. (The most positive spin I can put on for this whole
thing is that they, we [as Asians -- In many parts of agrarian India,
for example, dowries are quite obligatory and when not provided
sufficiently enough to satisfied the HUSBANDS they can abuse or even
kill the wives!], are still coming to terms with a modernity, which,
they think, has been defined by others [like Europeans],,, so they, we,
are not too comfortable with it.)
Physically grown Asian men and women, many a time, refuse to act like
intelligent individuals; instead they act like they are little spokes on
some great wheel and would not be whole if they started acting as
independent, logical, and intelligent human beings who can choose which
paths are the most enlightened to follow and do so, without fear of
family, clan, tribal, or "societal" repercussions.
When you have more and more Asians (Lao, Hmong, waht-not), males and
females, acting like grown-up individuals who stand up to speak on their
own behalf, rather than, say, letting "the wise elders" and other family
members [people "who've been doing this for countless generations and
know which is right and wrong, good or bad," blah, blah,) dictate, we
will not have no occasions to talk about these sacred (silly, stagnated,
and degrading) "traditions" any more.
Then we will have two grown ups, may they be Hmong, Lao, or a mix in
what-ever combination, standing up and say: "mom, dad, and everyone who
we love and who've loved and cherish us,,, we will like to give you a
thank you gathering. Please, don't do any thing or bring any thing; it
is for us, the marrying couple to say thank you and arrange everything
for all those who can come to join us in this up-coming happy
occasion,,,"
No more need to justify or make sense of senseless, degrading,
self-serving, unegalitarian beliefs, practices, norms and mores!
Hawj Lauj,
the Idiot of SCH and SCL
born to be lao
Hey Joe,
Then go to Thailand and marry Thai girls or any Asian girls, with
$10,000 you can have 20 wives maybe all virgins. Show them your greens
and they all want to be your wive. pretty simple or what?
In the US, let see,, with $10,000 you rent a reception hall for
atleast 100 people that would be $5000, hire a cheap band another
$3000 and you can order $2000 worth of chinese food for the
guess,,,use the faucet water for drinking and have your guess bring in
their own boozs. I think that considebly respectable wedding,,don't
you think?
sok dee
born to be lao
Joe Garall
>C'mon Joe, wake up! You did not seem to read the messages from the
>original poster and John carefully. They were talking about the
>marriage of a friend to and the dowry for a Laotian girl living and
>studying in Seattle, USA. She has a degree in Business.
That doesn't make any difference. The point is that obviously because
she is a Laotian girl her husband seems naturally to accept that he
has to pay for the ceremony. I have relatives in the US and they tend
to handle this like we do in Europe - both parties share the costs of
the ceremony/party. So there is nothing like a dowry involved.
> The dowry has much less to do
>with the living standard that differs between Laos and Thailand than
>with the dignity of the girls and their family.
Not paying the dowry but sharing expenses (50:50, if possible) has
much to do with the dignity of developed Europeans (and I hope,
Americans).
> If you would like to
>compare the standard of living, it would be between the US and Laos,
>and not between Laos and Thailand. Wedding in the US is very costly
>and $10,000 is not a fraud.
No, you can just sign some papers, if you don't have the money. It's
even cheaper (and quicker) in Las Vegas, I heard.
> At the end of
>the ceremony and party, the rest of the money, including dowry and
>gift from guests, ended up all going to the girl and their husband.
Oh, the husband gets some of his money back, the girl hasn't lost any.
This is totally unbalanced.
Joe
Joe Garall
wrote:
> Hey Joe,
>
> Then go to Thailand and marry Thai girls or any Asian girls, with
>$10,000 you can have 20 wives maybe all virgins.
Exactly.
>Show them your greens
>and they all want to be your wive. pretty simple or what?
Exactly.
> In the US, let see,, with $10,000 you rent a reception hall for
>atleast 100 people that would be $5000, hire a cheap band another
>$3000 and you can order $2000 worth of chinese food for the
>guess,,,use the faucet water for drinking and have your guess bring in
>their own boozs. I think that considebly respectable wedding,,don't
>you think?
If the girl can't share the expenses, I would tell her: Let's just
marry cheaply, let's just go to the office and sign the papers. And
invite three or four friends to our apartment. Today 50 % of the
marriages in my country go wrong (don't know about the US), so why
make such a big fuss about it anyway?
Joe
Sri Sattanakarahut
> On Thu, 30 May 2002 15:07:03 -0400, Sri Sattanakarahut
> <Sattana...@fakemail.com> wrote:
>
> >.it will only makes the daddy asks more gold chains from you.
>
> It doesn't matter. Here two cultures clash. Refusing the dowry
> tradition is a clear way to appreciate love and put it above money.
> Each Laotian can understand that. It is also the Buddha's teaching,
> therefore each Laotian SHOULD understand it.
Cultural differences is wildly known to be one of the many problems for
inter-racial or inter-cultural marriage. Like you said when both
cultures clash and no one is willing to compromise or at least find a
reasonable way to resolve the differences, then you know hell will break
loose.
As for this "bride price" thing I think others probably have been
explained in length of what it is and how it is and like Fraidy-Cat said
you have to be a cultured person to actually understand its true meanings
and purposes. I can only tell you that it's not about buying or selling
bride, though, many un-cultured people seem to think otherwise.
> By the way, when I was in Laos I found the people there as greedy as
> in Thailand (when meeting foreigners, at least), but less adapting to
> their habits.
People are greedy nowadays not just in Laos and Thailand but you will
find these kind of people anywhere in the world.
> Joe
Sri.
John Toledo
Again i have learned that a single question can be viewed from a
myriad of angles. Each persons response was colored by his or her
outlook on life. We talk of world peace when we can not even read the
same meaning into a simple question. i would not trade my Lao wedding
for any other kind. Bride price and gold chain included. The ritual
was deep with meaning, it was older than Buddhism, ALL of her family
were there in that farmhouse and we were ALL united by this marriage.
i gave everything i could come up with for her, not to BUY her but to
give her her moment in the sun in front of her family. the man who
lead the rite intoned Lao words i could not understand, but his
sincerity and honor I could understand. So i made my own vows to my
bride and bound myself to her future happiness. i will never forget
that village near the MeaKong nor my new in-laws. It was purely
happiness. You wonder why marriages don't last? You get out of
something only what you put in to it. it is not the money, or gold,
your not buying a woman or a families respect. You are giving honor to
a tradition and a culture and a human being. And in so doing you honor
yourself. if 'honor' is one of those words you smirk at, well, i am
sorry. it is real and millions of people live by it. Honor colors ones
outlook on life in a most positive way. John
LadyDeath
> To all x-Lao you don't know Prapenee Lao at all is not price of
> their daughter, is the commitment, how serious you are, parents know
> love come and go among young Lao man,if any thing happen their daughter
> who are carrying the kids, is no welfare in Lao,
> secondly is testing that young man if he has gust, is he work hard
> and save money?, is he able to taking care of the family, money
> is not easy to make but money is work well in Lao.
Yes....in Lao. Lao is a third world country. Lao tradition belongs
in Lao because of the environment and economic status. On the other
hand, in the US the environment and economic status is different. It
is insulting to some of us (girls) to be ask for a bride price. After
all, we all work for our money and capable of surporting ourselves.
Also let's be fair to the men, they work for money as well. Why not
girls give dowry to men (some girls make much more money). True,
women will get pregnant so they are the disadvantage at the time of
Divorce. Do you think 10,000 or 15,000 will raise a child in the
United States? If you do, than think again. By law, men have to pay
child surport and Alimony to their ex-wives. In the US, the ex wife
can take a man to court and make him pay her (Alimony) if she doesn't
work or she works. The lifestyle that she have with him, she can
keep. As long as he's making good money, and she takes him to court.
If you are a male doctor that makes 300,000/year...divorce from your
wife. You will probably be paying her as much as $500-$1,000 a month
depending on what kind of lifestyle you provide her with while you
were married. If she recieved 2,000/month...she won't have to work at
all. She will continue to recieve his money until she remarry. If
you had kids with her...than you will keep paying for life. I don't
think there is such a law in Lao. That's the reason why they have
dowry. Pay one time only!
Another note, This is my opinion....I think the Laotians who practice
dowry in the US....JUST WANT A BIG FACE IN THE LAO COMMUNITY ! They
want everyone to know that their daughter is worth a lot, and they
also want to show off that the new son in law is wealthy enough to put
some money down. If its not this, than what's a logical reason behind
it? To me, what is someone's worth is non of other people's business.
People who know your worth will show up and help out with the
wedding.
Lady-Death
pizone
as i said in my last post. it's a very complicated thing, very
flexible and depend on circumstance. it cannot compare to woman price.
if you really want to compare lao dowry to woman price, than i think
the US government should be more shamefull than lao parent in-law by
forcing (not asking) men to pay their ex-wife support while she can
play the 4-letters word with other men, something like you mentionned
here.
hakpheng
pizone
nam...@yahoo.com (LadyDeath) wrote in message news:<ba8b72c1.02053...@posting.google.com>...
pizone
who care what and how and to whom you want to marry. in las vegas and
some place in the US they even have a drive-thru marriage. it may be
the cheapest way to marry for you. if you talk about dowry, it's a
cultural matter.
if you really want to talk about 'price' and the 4-letter word, than
in Europe, i found out that white women are cheapter than other
ethnics.
hakpheng
pizone
LadyDeath
> sabaidi LadyDeath, i see your point, but lao dowry is a cultural thing
> as i said in my last post. it's a very complicated thing, very
> flexible and depend on circumstance. it cannot compare to woman price.
>
> if you really want to compare lao dowry to woman price, than i think
> the US government should be more shamefull than lao parent in-law by
> forcing (not asking) men to pay their ex-wife support while she can
> play the 4-letters word with other men, something like you mentionned
> here.
>
> hakpheng
> pizone
>
>
>
I think the United State System is more honorable than the dowry
system. The government protects women, not supressed them by asking a
price on their head. This system sometimes can be unfair to men but,
that makes marriage a little bit harder. If you really want to get
marry, than you will think about it more. So Men...think about it
more when you put a ring on someone's finger, or when you decide to
have that baby. The government will come after you if you are not
responsible.
yes, it takes two to tangle. The women goes through birth, and the
men pays up!
LadyDeath
LadyDeath
LadyDeath
--------
I am a traditional lao woman. I love my heritage. I respect my
parents, grandparents, relatives, and the elders. I know how to walk
across elders politely. I take off my shoes when I enter the house.
I eat sticky rice and larb. I speak Laos. I practice lao tradition
but it doesn't mean I believe in everything Laotians do. I might
agree with dowry if I live in laos or if I live on earth 100 years
ago. Now, the world is changing and Dowry is one of the tradition that
I don't care for. It has no value to me. A man who marries me, I will
choose. If we decide to get marry, than both of us will put our money
together and set up a wedding. If our parent would like to help set
up the wedding than that would be wonderful. The more heads put
together, the more organize it will be. The most important thing we
will ever ask from our parents is their blessings.
Marriage is a rite of passage. We are adults and there is no need to
prove to anyone he or she is capable of surporting her or him. When a
man and a woman decides to get marry they both have to be capable of
surporting each other finnancially and emotionally. When you say
"Yes" or "I do" you become an adult no matter how old you are. You
will be overflown by family responsibilities and if you can't handle
it, than don't tie the knots. Dowry is not going to say much about
anything, only the fact that you came up with that money some how to
get her. Both person should support each other. Parents and
Relatives should cheer them on to success. If they ever fall or have
hard times, than the parents should reflect back to their own marriage
and be a little kind to help out. Afterall, marriage is a wonderful
thing, your genes will be passed down.
LadyDeath
dougi...@yahoo.com
LadyDeath sounded really cool but I'm afraid of her name.
I wish I could have met a Lao girl like her before I got
married. Oh well, it's way too late.
Next life time, cool?
freel...@yahoo.com (Lao Xiengkhouang) wrote in message news:<27d8b4a3.02060...@posting.google.com>...
> Nam...@yahoo.com (LadyDeath) wrote in message news:<a54fb2a1.02060...@posting.google.com>...
> What a gentle lady! Hey, you single guys out there, take your chance
> and get to know LadyDeath better. You never know, she could be your
> lifetime partner!!!
>
> Lao
dougi...@yahoo.com
My best advice to your best friend is "If he can't afford to marry
someone he loves then take a hike."
If he wants to do my way, then find a girl who pay to marry him.
COOL?
Brushoff2
there and what u have done white boy? Licking hwer pussy? Common you can
kiss my ass why I say so.