Hebrew 'Geek Code' Latest version - plus I need a new name!
Robert Kaiser
The 'Hebrew Geek Code' - Version 2.5 Last updated: 7/14/95
by Robert D. Kaiser kai...@pofvax.pnb.sunysb.edu
Amaze your friends and family! Communicate volumes of information
about yourself with just a few letters! Give information to those
in the know, without anyone else being able to understand! All
this and more is possible when you use this list to create your own
Hebrew Geek Code (HGC), which you then put in your .sig file.
By the way, I'm looking for a NEW NAME for this. The term 'Geek
Code' is copyrighted, and the present name could be construed as a
copyright infringement. So if anyone has a suggestion, please
e-mail me!
Have fun. Permission is granted to spread this everywhere, as
long as credit is given. E-mail me any additions that you think
would be good. They might end up in the next version.
Example Hebrew Geek Code:
S+ Fa1 TM ng+ M K+ T t AT++ SY+=/SY+++ Te+ SC P+
FO++= D+ Tz++ E+ L- Am
-------------------------------------------------------
Qualifiers: A&B Means A and B
A/B Means ranging from A to B
-------------------------------------------------------
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Shabbat Observance
S--- I stone people walking to shul on Shabbat
S-- Of course. Every Sunday!
S- Not at all, or, "Shabbat - What's that?"
S Reform
S+ Conservative, will drive to shul
S++ Traditional, Orthodox
S+++ I stone cars on Shabbat
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Shabbat Candles
SC- I don't use matches. Only you can prevent forest fires.
SC Been there, done that.
SC+ Every Shabbat.
SC:( I blow them out afterwards so that they last longer.
SC++ I have been arrested for arson.
SC+++ I have been convicted for arson.
Add a 'W' for "My wife does that"
Example: SCW+, SCW ...
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Mishpacha (Family)
Fa-- Intermarried - I sure do love Xmas!
Fa- Intermarried - but the children will be raised
Jewish
Fa.n/a Not applicable. I'm homosexual.
Fa.gm I'm gay AND I'm married.
Fa1 Not married - Single
Fa+ I married a Jew.
Fa++ I married more than two wives at once. [Only
applicable for Yemenite Jews. Sorry :) ]
,c=# Where # represents the number of
children you have. Default = 0.
Examples: Fa1 Fa+ Fa+,c=1 Fa++,c=5
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tohorot Mishpacha (Family Purity)
TM-- I married a non-Jew, so this doesn't apply.
TM- I'm a pagan
TM I'm mostly following the rules
TM+ Traditional Orthodox
TM++ My wife and I have separate houses
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
N'giah (Laws regarding touching a member of the opposite sex )
Ng--- I touch a memberof the opposite sex as much as possible
Ng-- I try to observe it as much as possible, but I'm in the
same cell as the arsonist. (see the Shabbat candles
category).
Ng- I am Shomer N'giah, but not by choice.
Ng Liberal N'giah -- only touch a consenting partner
Ng+ Conservative N'giah -- only touch a consenting partner
I love and plan to marry.
Ng++ Orthodox N'giah -- Only touch my wife
Ng+++ I plan to have children by artificial inseminantion.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Moshiach
M-- He's already come. Haven't you heard the Good Word?
M- Don't believe in it.
M Could be
M+ Ani ma'ammim (I believe with perfect faith)
M++ We want Moshiach now!
M+++ Shabbatai Tzvi is Moshiach.
M++++ I am Moshiach.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Kashrut
K-- I only eat at McDonald's. Also: What's kashrut?
K- Jewish in identity, not in practice. Likely to eat ham
and cheese, but will say a bracha afterwards
K Very liberal kosher. Won't eat any Torah forbidden
species, won't mix milk and meat. Will eat eat meat of
a permitted animal, even it not proeprly slaughtered.
K+ Conservative. Kashrut fully observed. Two sets of
dishes, etc. Add appropriate strictures as necessary.
If no codes are added, lenient options are default for K+
K++ Orthodox kashrut. Same as Conservative, but unless codes
are added, the stricter options are assumed for K++
K+++ Satmar or Meshugge kosher.
ch+ Will only eat Kosher cheese.
ch Will eat cheese without a hechsher.
me+ Will only eat Glatt meat.
me Glatt not necessary.
mi+ Will only drink Chalav Yisrael milk.
mi Will drink regular FDA approved milk.
ge+ Won't eat gelatin, diglycerides, etc. unless
with an Orthodox hechsher.
ge Will eat gelatin, diglycerides, etc.
Considered pareve.
wi+ Will only drink kosher wine.
wi Will drink without a hechsher.
Examples: K+ K++ K++,mi k+,ch+
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Ivrit (Hebrew)
H- Is 'Jewish' a language?
H I went to Hebrew school. Shalom!
H+ I even took it in college.
H++ I'm not made fun of too badly by Israelis.
H+++ Ani midaberet Ivrit tov Me'od, nu?
Substitute Yid for H to denote Yiddish familiarity.
Substitue Lad for H to denote Ladino familiarity.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Talmud
T--- I burn them whenever I get the chance. (Note: This
category is especially useful for apostates like
Torquemada.)
T-- I'm a Karaite
T- Is that like Torah?
T Studied in Hebrew school / Hebrew High School
T+ Studied in college or yeshiva; Competent to argue.
T++ Talmud Chochem
T+++ Adin Steinsaltz's chevruta.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tribe
t Israel
t+ Levi
t++ Cohen
t+++ Next in line to be the Cohen Gadol
t? Not sure (be real - this is most of us!)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Attendance at Shul.
AT-- Religion is for dweebs!
AT- Only for other people's weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs.
AT Regularly! (Well, every Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur,
and I also had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
AT+ High holidays, Shalosh Regalim (Three festivals), and
occasional shabbats.
AT++ I go on Shabbat.
AT+++ And I lay Tefillin on weekdays
AT++++ The Rabbi wants to institute a restraining order to
keep me away!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
What type of shul do I got to?
SY-- Jesus loves me, yes he does...
SY- Allah'hu Akbar!
-SY I don't go to shul
SYrc Reconstructionist
SY Reform
SY+ Conservative (whatever that means)
SY+= Conservative egalitarian
SYCh Chavura
SY++ UTJ/Traditional/Right wing Conservative
SY+++ Orthodox
SY+++M Modern Orthodox
SY+++Y Yeshiva Litvak Right wing, Agudath Yisroel
SY+++C Chassidic
You can add the appropriate Nusach code shown in the next section.
If you go to a shul that is different that your background, then
just add a comma after the shul type, and then add the background
code. If you don't put a code after the shul type, the default is
Ashkenazi.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Nusach (What type of Jew am I? )
A Ashkenazi
Az Nusach HaAri (This is a Ashkenazi Chassidic nusach,
which is really a Sephardi nusach as modifed by Rav
Shneur Zalman.)
S Sephardic (North African, Middle East)
SE Sephardic (European)
SY Sephardic (Yementite)
SI B'nai Yisrael (India)
ET Beta Yisrael (Ethiopian)
Examples: SY+ SY+/A SY+/A,SE SY+,SE
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tefillin (Phylacteries)
Te- What's that? Is it good to eat?
Te I don't wear animal products, dude.
Te+ Sure, sometimes. Irregularly.
Te++ Every day, or almost every day. I'm a mensch! :)
Te+++ The doctors say if I don't taken them off soon,
they'll have to amputate.
Te.n/a Not applicable, I'm a woman.
Te!a Of COURSE Teffilin is applicable for women! Rashi's
daughters wore them! (Add appropriate + or - )
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Pesach (Passover)
P--- Happy Easter!
P-- Mohammed says to celebrate Moses's birthday !
P- I refrain from bacon double cheeseburgers on Pesach.
No bread at all! My parents are sooo proud!
P Yeah, I think I follow most of the rules. Mostly.
PC Everything except for the part about "Pour out
thy wrath"
P+ Even the pet eats tuna and matzah-brei for a week
P++ I start cleaning right after Hanukkah !
P+++ Blowtorch the kitchen, buy new dishes every Spring
P++++ Blowtorch the house, move every Spring (This ties in
with that arson category of Shabbos candles).
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Festival Observance:
FO---Christmas Tree and Easter Eggs
FO-- Chanukka Bush and Passover Candy Basket
FO- Secular home
FO Somewhat Traditional - add the following qualifiers
as you find appropriate:
s Go to a seder
m Light the menorah.
p Make noise and drink on Purim.
t Dance on Simchat Torah
su Eat in a Sukka on Sukkot.
sL Can LEAD a Seder :)
co Count the Omer
hh Go to High Holiday services.
FO+ Full Observance - Reform
FO++ Full Observance - Conservative and Traditional
(Non-egalitarian)
FO++= Same as above, but egalitarian.
FO+++ Strict Orthodox observance
FO+++:( Celebrate all festivals but Israel Independence Day,
since Moshiach is not yet here.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Davening (praying) ability
D-- I daven Gospel.
D- What's davening?
D I know when to stand, sit and bow.
D+ I also know the Sh'ma and Kaddish by heart, and can
somehow make it through most of the rest.
D++ I can lead services
D+++ I can also read Torah, Haftarah and Megillot
D++++and they'll invite me back a second time
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Tzedakah (Charity)
Tz- I'm a professional shnorrer. Got a dollar?
Tz I give a few bucks - but not if it hurts! :(
Tz+ I actually notice when I give.
Tz++ Repeat donor to UJA, JNF, UW, or SPCA, anything
but the PLO.
Tz+++ Give till it hurts. A mensch. :)
Tz++++ I'm a Rothschild
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Egalitarianism Factor
E-- Don't touch that with your bare hands, it's a female!
E- uh...if a man heard a woman's voice, he'd be so overcome
with lustful thoughts he wouldn't be able to concentrate
on his prayers...
E OK, OK, LET them wear tefillin and have women's prayer
groups, just keep them behind the mechitza! But they
don't count in a minyan.
E+ Women (who REALLY have taken on the obligations of tefila
Tallit and Tefillin) can read Torah and count in minyans.
E++ Any women (even without taking on the obligations) can
count in a minyan.
E+++ I only like women rabbis/ I AM a woman Rabbi /
I married a woman Rabbi.
E++++ I'm an ultraliberal lesbian Reconstructionist Rabbi.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Lashon Hora (Evil speech)
L----- I am Ricki Lake; Lashon Hora is my job.
L---- I am a talk show host.
L--- I have appeared on a talk show and acted like
a true weenie in front of millions of people.
L-- I write for check-out counter tabloids.
L- I never speak Lashon Hora, but I'll tell you
someone who does!
L If you don't have something nice to say, than
don't say it.
L+ I can recite parts of Rabbi Pliskin's "Guard
Your tounge". A true mensch.
L++ The Chofetz Chaim is my inspiration. I have his
books, his commentaries, and the new interactive
CD-ROM.
L+++ I even refrained from criticising Intel's Pentium
debacle. A tzaddik.
(Note: People who choose this last option are
high on morals, but possibly low on modesty)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Modest Attire/Tzinout
(for women)
Aw---I love my bikini, I wear it everywhere.
Aw-- ...except in Syngaogue.
Aw- I don't wear mini skirts if they are "Shatnez"
Aw Conventional American dress.
Aw+ Modest Orthodox apparel. I wear long sleeves, only
dresses (no pants) and my hair is covered in public.
Aw++ Real Haredi or Chassidc style dress.
Aw+++ Even my husband doesn't know what I look like.
(for men)
Am---I love my thong. I wear it everywhere.
Am-- ...except in Synagogue.
Am- Sure I wear leather and studs sometimes - after all, its
not Shatnez!
Am Conventional American dress.
Am+ Hat (usually black) and dark suit.
Am++ Real Haredi or Chassidic style dress.
Am+++I dress like a Cohen Gadol. You know, just like that
Vulcan High Priestess in the beginning of Star Trek: The
Motion Picture. (Really! Leonard Nimoy had that based
on the dress of a Cohen Gadol. B'emet!)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
By Robert D. Kaiser kai...@pofvax.pnb.sunysb.edu
with contributions from
Michael Turniansky mt0...@epfl2.epflbalto.org
Jonathan and Woody Anna Dresner dre...@ccy.yamaguchi-u.ac.jp
Wendy Morrison HMT...@aol.com
S/S+K+TM-MHTtSY+=AT+Te+SC (D++++)
Johen Riehl
Yatzliakh Yisrael Abrahami Ya...@intxtdoc.demon.co.uk
Aaron Gross aar...@ix.netcom.com
Rachel Marans msma...@pluto.mscc.huji.ac.il
Joeseph W. Grayson jw...@columbia.edu
Geek Code d H- S !g p1 au a- w+ V+ c+ U- E- N++ W V+ po Y+
t++ 5+++ R G' tv+ b++ B-- e++++ u+ f+ r h+ y+
Hebrew Geek Code S+ Fa1 TM-1/TM M K+ H+ T t SY+= & SYCh &SY+++,A
AT++ Te+/Te++ SC FO++= D+ P+ Tz++ E+ L-
(e-mail me for info on: Hebrew Geek code, The Jewish Book Club)
________
| _____] Always looking for Philips Videopacs
| | ___ Robert D. Kaiser - graduate student
|__|[_ \ Dept. of Physiology & Biophysics
B A B__ Y \ L| O N SUNY at Stony Brook, NY
( \__/ |
\______/ kai...@pofvax.pnb.sunysb.edu
Matthew P Wiener
>By the way, I'm looking for a NEW NAME for this. The term 'Geek
>Code' is copyrighted, and the present name could be construed as a
>copyright infringement. So if anyone has a suggestion, please
>e-mail me!
How about "Goof Code"?
--
-Matthew P Wiener (wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu)
Aaron D. Gross
>In article <4e94hd$n...@abel.cc.sunysb.edu>, kaiser@pofvax (Robert Kaiser) writes:
>>By the way, I'm looking for a NEW NAME for this. The term 'Geek
>>Code' is copyrighted, and the present name could be construed as a
>>copyright infringement. So if anyone has a suggestion, please
>>e-mail me!
>How about "Goof Code"?
Gematria Code?
Micha Berger
"edoC keeG" would be protected by copyright law.
--
Micha Berger 201 916-0287 Help free Ron Arad, held by Syria 3255 days!
Ais...@haven.ios.com (16-Oct-86 - 5-Oct-95)
<a href=news:alt.religion.aishdas>Orthodox Judaism: Torah, Avodah, Chessed</a>
<a href=http://haven.ios.com/~aishdas>AishDas Society's Home Page</a>
Solomon Taibi
(Could be Hebrew, Yiddish, Ladino, Moghrabi, whatever).
I vote for "Umglick code".
--
S. Taibi
Matthew P Wiener
>What would be a good Jewish word for "geek"? (Could be Hebrew,
>Yiddish, Ladino, Moghrabi, whatever).
Eh??? How many languages have a word for "someone who bites the heads
off of live chickens as his occupation"?
Jerry B Altzman
Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:
>In article <4emejb$q...@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>, taibi@ix Taibi ) writes:
>>What would be a good Jewish word for "geek"? (Could be Hebrew,
>>Yiddish, Ladino, Moghrabi, whatever).
>Eh??? How many languages have a word for "someone who bites the heads
>off of live chickens as his occupation"?
So *that's* what you do at Wistar!
>-Matthew P Wiener (wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu)
//jbaltz
jerry b. altzman Entropy just isn't what it used to be +1 212 650 5617
jba...@columbia.edu jba...@sci.ccny.cuny.edu KE3ML (HEPNET) NEVIS::jbaltz