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Harlan Ellison's Solution for Israel and the Middle East

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dsharavi

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Aug 3, 2012, 7:07:06 PM8/3/12
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Harlan Ellison:

Okay. Here’s the story. It’s got to be 10 or 15 years ago when I get a
call from the USIA, the U.S. Information Agency, the ones who do all
the propaganda for the United States. They said, “Mr. Ellison, we’ve
had a request for you to come and lecture in Israel. As an American-
Jewish writer who is very popular—your works have been reprinted over
there—they’d like you to come and lecture in Haifa at the university.
So I said, “Yeah, that’s all right.” Now, in truth, I have about as
much interest in going to Israel as I do in going to Germany, into
which I have never set foot. That’s one of the three or four things
I’ll never do. I did a list of things I will never do in my life: I
will never do an ad for McDonald’s; I will never step foot in Germany;
I will never eat lima beans; I would never harm a child; and I will
never voluntarily read a book by Judith Kranz. Those are five of the
things that are uppermost in my life. So then when I say voluntarily,
I mean if you put a gun to my head, I probably would read a book by
Judith Kranz, but I wouldn’t like it. As for lima beans, as I have
often said, you show me someone who will eat a lima bean without a gun
to the head, and I will show you a pervert.

So, to get back to where I was: An entire nation of people who are
like my relatives, a whole country of yentas and kvetches, is not my
idea of a good time. Now, I would love to see Petra, I would love to
see the pyramids of Egypt, but I really have no interest in going to
Israel. But, what the hell? Free trip, and Susan and I would go and we
would do whatever. And maybe I could get to Petra while I’m there. So,
I say, “Sure, I could do that.” And they’re going to pay me a nice
fee. Okay.

About a week goes by and USIA calls again and they said, “They would
like to do interviews with you prior to your arrival so that they can
warm the country up for your coming” and I said, “That’s terrific.”
They said, “Well, The Jerusalem Post will be calling you, which is one
of the biggest newspapers in the world,” and I said, “Great” and
“Thank you very much” and “I’m looking forward to going” and blah,
blah, blah and all that bullshit.

So one morning, soon thereafter as the crow flies, I get a call from a
guy and I can’t remember what his name was, but let’s call him Eleazer
ben Yehudi. And he calls and he says, “Hello, this is Eleazer ben
Yehudi and I am the senior editorial reporter for The Jerusalem Post
and I would love to interview you.” And I said, “Just fire away.” And
the first question out of his mouth is: “What do you, as an American
Jew, think of the situation in the Middle East?” And I said to him,
“Well, why would you ask me that? I’m a writer. I write amusing little
fantasies. I’m not a political commentator. I don’t know what you
people are going through over there. I have no opinion.” “No, no!” he
says. “We’re anxious to hear what you think!” And he nuhdjes and
nuhdjes and nuhdjes and pushes at me—already I know I’m going to hate
Israel—and he keeps saying, “I want to know what you think! We want to
know you want!” He sounds like Jackie Mason. So I say, “Listen. Trust
me. You don’t want my opinion.” “Yeah!” he screams. “We want your
opinion! We’re dying for your opinion! We’re plotzing to have your
opinion!” He goes on and on and on; he will not let me off the hook.
So finally I say, “Okaaay… but remember the old Chinese adage, ‘Be
careful what you wish for because you might get it!’” And he goes,
“Ha, ha, ha! Extremely clever… So? What is your opinion?” And I said,
“Here’s my opinion: all of you guys out there in the Middle East are
out of the same melting pot, and you’re all as crazy as a butterfly on
absinthe. I don’t know whether you’re all Canaanites at the base, or
you’re all Jews at the base, or outa the Land of Nod, or whatever the
hell you were at the git-go—Semites or what not—but you’ve been
fighting there now for something like 8,000 years! You’ve never had
five minutes of quiet and peace; you’re forever killing each other
over the Holy Grail, or whatever the hell it is, and the rest of the
world has had to suffer with this. Great things have come out of the
Middle East, but stupidity seems to be your chief export—stupidity and
violence are your cash crops, all you.” (And this was before September
11). I said, “My solution to the problem in the Middle East is this:
We erect a wall 26 miles high around the entire Middle East. That’s
Syria, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Israel, Egypt, all of you—
the whole bunch of you—26 miles high with one door, like a regular
door in the front of a house. And every 10 years, we will open the
door and look inside. If you’re still fighting, we close the door. Loz
ze gein, you should live and be well—go and fight and kill yourselves.
But if we peek inside and it’s safe, if it’s nice, if you’re not
fighting, and you’ve got peace and quiet, you can come out and play
with the rest of us like human people.

And the guy says, “What?” And I said, “Do you want me to repeat that?”
He says, “No, thank you very much.” Bamm! He hangs up on me. Within an
hour—an hour—USIA calls up and says, “Tour’s off. Pffffft!” And I tell
you, I was relieved!

Being a tough Jew is like being a tough Oriental kid in an all-black
neighborhood. When you’re an outsider, you’ve got two choices: You
either become a target for people to hit you, to bully you, and con
you, to take advantage of, and you wind up marrying people you
shouldn’t, and you wind up in a job you shouldn’t have with people who
bully you, or, you get tough. Now tough doesn’t mean hard. I’m not a
hard guy; I’m a tough guy. That means that I take no shit and I’m
wrong more often than I’m right, and when I am, I admit it. And that’s
another part of being a tough guy. When you’re in the wrong you’ve got
to face up to it and you’ve got to take responsibility for it. You
can’t keep pushing it off on other people, and you can never blame the
fact that you are a Jew! That’s what gets the goyim pissed off at us.

We just had a little fender-bender up here and I’m talking to the
woman at AAA and she starts talking about “You people.” She was a
black woman so she probably didn’t know that she was actually quoting
the thoughts and philosophies of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion,
but that’s what she was doing. I tried to straighten her out but it
was impossible. It’s widespread common lore that Jews own everything,
to which my response is, “Well, if there is actually a great
international Jewish money conspiracy, there’s some Jew out there with
two shares, because I’m working my ass off!”

You’ve got to be able to accept responsibility for what you do, and
you’ve got to be able to try and convince a lot of people who aren’t
bad people, they’re just ignorant—not stupid, just ignorant; big
difference—that Jews are not the arrogant, all-knowing “Chosen
People.” That is as elitist bullshit as the Christians who think that
when the Rapture comes, they’re going up and we’re going down. That’s
just elitism, and it’s a bad kind of elitism, as opposed to my
elitism, which is based on intelligence. Which is a good elitism.

And if you don’t like it, I’ll punch the shit out of you.

© The Kilimanjaro Corporation
2005

Carolina Reb

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Aug 3, 2012, 8:36:13 PM8/3/12
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"dsharavi" <desh...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:681f4a95-8e4b-433a...@id7g2000pbc.googlegroups.com...
>Harlan Ellison:

...would best do well at sticking with SF, not Jew problem solutions.



HHW

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Aug 4, 2012, 1:24:48 AM8/4/12
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On 3 ago, 19:36, "Carolina Reb" <walt.hamp...@att.net> wrote:
> "dsharavi" <deshar...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> news:681f4a95-8e4b-433a...@id7g2000pbc.googlegroups.com...
>
> >Harlan Ellison:
>
> ...would best do well at sticking with SF, not Jew problem solutions.

Science fiction? It's old fashioned Jewish comedy. I liked it a lot.

Lydig Avenue Kibbitzer

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Aug 4, 2012, 2:01:27 AM8/4/12
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In article <abd648bc-69e5-418b...@p8g2000yqa.googlegroups.com>,
HHW says...
So did I.
The anecdote was excerpted from a longer interview that may be found here:

http://www.cliffordmeth.com/methonellison.htm

HHW

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Aug 4, 2012, 3:39:05 AM8/4/12
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On 4 ago, 01:01, Lydig Avenue Kibbitzer <Lydig_mem...@newsguy.com>
wrote:
> In article <abd648bc-69e5-418b-a1bb-e8fd75c99...@p8g2000yqa.googlegroups.com>,
Thanks, I've got that one bookmarked.

Just Wondering

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Aug 4, 2012, 4:16:30 AM8/4/12
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Which is basically what he said, that he is a fiction writer, not a
political commentator.

Exocet Missile

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Aug 4, 2012, 7:11:06 AM8/4/12
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In article <5regb1....@news.alt.net>,
Carolina Reb <walt.h...@att.net> wrote:

[...]

Oh shaddup already, you ancient, rotting, boring, shiteating
cockoach.

Stewart

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Aug 4, 2012, 7:29:49 AM8/4/12
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"Carolina Reb" <walt.h...@att.net> wrote in message
news:5regb1....@news.alt.net...
When we want your opinion we'll give it to you.


Sunwalker <G><

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Aug 4, 2012, 8:36:53 AM8/4/12
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Who is Harlan Ellison? Because I have Ellison on my family tree. And
I know very little about that line.

Here is my Gemmell (Jewish) Line starting with my father, the Stem of
Jesse:

George Henry Gemmell (Gemmell goes always back to Gamal, Galilee,
where the royal household of Judith went into Exile, Gemmell and Gamal
both originate from third letter of the Hebrew alphabet 'gimel', which
means "camel".)

My grandfather: Alfred George Gemmell + Rosa Pompilia R�buli.

My great-grandparents: George Gemmell + Jane Louisa Balls.

My great-great-grandparents: Andrew Gemmill + Margaret Laidlaw

Here is my Ellison Line��..

My great-grandmother: Jane Louisa Balls, was daughter of Alfred George
Balls + Grace Grant Ellison.

My great-great-grandparents: Thomas Ellison + Caroline

--------cut---------
Yes, I have Ellison on my family tree, it's a rare name I think, but
is it a Jewish surname? Can anyone tell me?

And what about Laidlaw, is that a Jewish surname? Or perhaps it has a
Jewish origins?

Thank you for your help in advance. Anything you can offer will be
helpful.

I already know that Scotland was founded by Jewish Families. So, it
will not surprise me that United States was founded upon the Jewish
principles of freedom.

Freedom is an unknown concept that world never knew, until the Jewish
Nation were the first to introduce it. And credit ought to given to
my Jewish heritage for giving us Freedom. The Royal House of Judah
created Scotland and they gave us the First Revolution for Freedom.
And my Jewish Family Line - The Gemmell Family of Mount Heredom were
the creators of Freemasonry. And without the principles of
Freemasonry there would never have bee a United States of America, for
George Washington used the principles of Freemasonry to establish the
Freedom in the United States. Has teh Royal House of Judah been
leaders in the world, I say yes! <G><

PS: I also have Robert Smith, who is related to Joseph Smith, Jr. on
my Balls line, only difference being that my Robert Smith was married
to Susannah Smith, so I have inherited double portions of Smith
bloodline.

Here is my Robert Smith line going forward�

10th generation away = Robert Smith + Susannah Smith
9th generation away - Edward Thurston + Susanna Smith
8th generation away - Daniel Chamberlin + Susanna Thurston
7th generation away - Daniel Chamberlin + Elizabeth Draper
6th generation away - James Gustavis Balls + Charlotte Maria
Chamberlin
5th generation away - Alfred George Balls + Grace Grant Ellison

Sunwalker <G><

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Aug 4, 2012, 8:39:26 AM8/4/12
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On Sat, 04 Aug 2012 07:36:53 -0500, "Sunwalker <G><"
<sunwal...@yahoo.com> wrote:

Correction:

>Freedom is an unknown concept that world never knew, until the Jewish
>Nation were the first to introduce it. And credit ought to given to
>my Jewish heritage for giving us Freedom. The Royal House of Judah
>created Scotland and they gave us the First Revolution for Freedom.
>And my Jewish Family Line - The Gemmell Family of Mount Heredom were
>the creators of Freemasonry. And without the principles of
>Freemasonry there would never have [been] a United States of America, for

Carolina Reb

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Aug 4, 2012, 12:51:20 PM8/4/12
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"Stewart" <gort...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:jvj13b$qml$1...@dont-email.me...
>
> When we want your opinion we'll give it to you.

"We?" How many of "you" are there?


Stewart

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Aug 4, 2012, 2:10:11 PM8/4/12
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"Carolina Reb" <walt.h...@att.net> wrote in message
news:5rg9fb....@news.alt.net...
Apparently enough for you to whine about like the little bitch that
you are.


The Peeler

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Aug 4, 2012, 2:49:45 PM8/4/12
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On Sat, 4 Aug 2012 14:10:11 -0400, Stewart wrote:

>>> When we want your opinion we'll give it to you.
>>
>> "We?" How many of "you" are there?
>>
>
> Apparently enough for you to whine about like the little bitch that
> you are.

LOL! Good one!

Carolina Reb

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Aug 4, 2012, 3:53:56 PM8/4/12
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"Stewart" <gort...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:jvjoi0$1so$1...@dont-email.me...

> Apparently enough for you to whine about
>

So...how do all you "you's" go about dealing with the
particulars of multiple personality?


The Peeler

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Aug 4, 2012, 4:15:22 PM8/4/12
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On Sat, 4 Aug 2012 15:53:56 -0400, Caroloony Reb, the subnormal moron
and attested schizo from the States, wrote:

>> Apparently enough for you to whine about
>>
>
> So...how do all you "you's" go about dealing with the
> particulars of multiple personality?

Ask the Brazen Bull, you hilarious fucked up stupid schizo! LMAO!


NoSpamAtAll

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Aug 4, 2012, 4:38:05 PM8/4/12
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In article <5rgk5m....@news.alt.net>,
Carolina Reb <walt.h...@att.net> wrote:

[...]

You're boring, old shiteater.

Sunwalker <G><

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Aug 4, 2012, 4:43:56 PM8/4/12
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The one thing that Satan hates to hear, which drives Satan mad, is
when you tease him: Haha, Haha, Haha, Satan can never father his own
children, Satan can never become a god!

Yes, how do like that Silly Rabbit, by attacking me, you now are going
to learn what it is to have a monkey on your back. And evil spirits
are going to make sport of you. For you are to blame for me teasing
Satan and getting him personally upset. Now you are going to find out
if there is an evil Jinn. <G><

Carolina Reb

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Aug 4, 2012, 5:06:57 PM8/4/12
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"The Peeler" <finish...@themoronicRevd.invalid> wrote in message
news:PpfTr.44604$Zl3....@newsfe06.iad...

>> So...how do all you "you's" go about dealing with the
>> particulars of multiple personality?
>
> Ask the Brazen Bull,
>
>

You are one confused Yid! The Bull is a device invented by
the ancient Greeks which offers a solution to the contemporary
Jewish problem. Multiple personality, however, has nothing
to do with Yids and more to do with psychological disorders.
The poster openly admitted, "Apparently enough for you to
whine about..." to indicate that this individual has two or more
mental identities. How to treat this particular mental disorder
is an open question. However, as far as the Jew problem goes,
there is only one solution...the Brazen Bull!


The Peeler

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Aug 4, 2012, 5:13:12 PM8/4/12
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On Sat, 4 Aug 2012 17:06:57 -0400, Caroloony Reb, the subnormal moron
and attested schizo from the States, wrote:

>>
>> Ask the Brazen Bull,
>>
>>
>
> You are one confused Yid! The Bull is a device invented by
> the ancient Greeks which offers a solution to the contemporary
> Jewish problem. Multiple personality, however, has nothing
> to do with Yids and more to do with psychological disorders.
> The poster openly admitted, "Apparently enough for you to
> whine about..." to indicate that this individual has two or more
> mental identities. How to treat this particular mental disorder
> is an open question. However, as far as the Jew problem goes,
> there is only one solution...the Brazen Bull!

The poster simply indicated with his reply to you that you are a complete
idiot, you fucked up stupid schizo! But then, you know it yourself! LOL

marshallzhukov

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Aug 4, 2012, 5:15:22 PM8/4/12
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In article <5rgoek....@news.alt.net>,
Carolina Reb <walt.h...@att.net> wrote:

[snip boring, repetitious rants]

Meet the PLONKERS: the solution to the nazi problem!

Fantastic photograph of shiteating archcockroach Streicher
after plonking -- rope still around his neck!! And read
how he squealed:

http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/Nazi-Execution-Smith16oct46ii.jpg

"At that instant the trap opened with a loud bang. He went down
kicking. When the rope snapped taut with the body swinging wildly,
groans could be heard from within the concealed interior of the
scaffold."

LOL! Oiiink! Every nazi will be plonked and die squealing like
a pig.

Stewart

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Aug 4, 2012, 6:12:47 PM8/4/12
to

"Carolina Reb" <walt.h...@att.net> wrote in message
news:5rgk5m....@news.alt.net...
Tell us how you perform fellatio and suck ass.
>


Carolina Reb

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Aug 4, 2012, 10:15:52 PM8/4/12
to

"The Peeler" <finish...@themoronicRevd.invalid> wrote in message
news:2ggTr.40917$lt3....@newsfe18.iad...
>
> The poster simply indicated

....his own mental state, you dumbstruck Yid. I am content
to let it stand on its own. If you are not, its your problem.

"Only one solution...the Brazen Bull!"


HHW

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Aug 5, 2012, 12:04:30 AM8/5/12
to
On 4 ago, 17:12, "Stewart" <gorta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> "Carolina Reb" <walt.hamp...@att.net> wrote in message
>
> news:5rgk5m....@news.alt.net...
>
>
>
> > "Stewart" <gorta...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> >news:jvjoi0$1so$1...@dont-email.me...
>
> >> Apparently enough for you to whine about
>
> > So...how do all you "you's" go about dealing with the
> > particulars of multiple personality?
>
> Tell us how you perform fellatio and suck ass.

First explain why your have a need to know.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

NoSpamAtAll

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Aug 5, 2012, 12:46:42 AM8/5/12
to
In article <5rhahq....@news.alt.net>,
Carolina Reb <walt.h...@att.net> wrote:

> "Only one solution

The PLONKER!

shiteating nazi cockroaches like "Carolina Reb" our misfortune,
plonking is the cure.

Fantastic photograph of shiteating archcockroach Streicher
after plonking -- rope still around his neck!! And read
how he squealed:

http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/Nazi-Execution-Smith16oct46ii.jpg

"At that instant the trap opened with a loud bang. He went down
kicking. When the rope snapped taut with the body swinging wildly,
groans could be heard from within the concealed interior of the
scaffold."

LOL! Oiiink! Every nazi will die squealing like a pig.

The Peeler

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Aug 5, 2012, 5:20:17 AM8/5/12
to
On Sat, 4 Aug 2012 21:04:30 -0700 (PDT), HHW wrote:

>>> So...how do all you "you's" go about dealing with the
>>> particulars of multiple personality?
>>
>> Tell us how you perform fellatio and suck ass.
>
> First explain why your have a need to know.

This group has to deal with the most abnormal Usenet scum, and we will
decide to deal with your sort the way we think fit! Capisci?

The Peeler

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Aug 5, 2012, 5:22:07 AM8/5/12
to
On Sat, 4 Aug 2012 22:15:52 -0400, Caroloony Reb, the subnormal moron
and attested schizo from the States, wrote:


>> The poster simply indicated
>
> ....his own mental state, you dumbstruck Yid.

Nope, you fucked up schizo: he indicated YOUR mental state!

> I am content
> to let it stand on its own. If you are not, its your problem.

The one thing that firmly stands, is your pathology that stands out like an
Eiffel Tower over these groups.

> "Only one solution...the Brazen Bull!"

LOL!!! As if on cue!

John H. Gohde

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Aug 5, 2012, 6:59:47 AM8/5/12
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On Aug 4, 4:16 am, Just Wondering <fmh...@comcast.net> wrote:
> On 8/3/2012 6:36 PM, Carolina Reb wrote:> "dsharavi" <deshar...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> >news:681f4a95-8e4b-433a...@id7g2000pbc.googlegroups.com...
> >> Harlan Ellison:
> > ...would best do well at sticking with SF, not Jew problem solutions.
>
> Which is basically what he said, that he is a fiction writer, not a
> political commentator.


It's funny how readily you choose to make a fool of yourself by
spouting
forth on things you know nothing about.

Stewart

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Aug 5, 2012, 8:42:39 AM8/5/12
to

"HHW" <coaste...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:fdc8318a-c04e-459d...@k13g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
Just comparing their process to your previously posted procedure on
your process just to see how consistent you gay goyim are.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>


Just Wondering

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Aug 5, 2012, 3:12:40 PM8/5/12
to
How droll, you actually think Harlan Ellison is a political commentator,
not a fiction writer.

John H. Gohde

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Aug 6, 2012, 9:37:20 AM8/6/12
to
Read what I posted again.
0 new messages