SCJM Contest Shel Shavua: "OK, Rock, Gay Pishen!"
in...@rambam.biz
passport to Eretz Yisrael revoked for hitting the rock instead of
talking to it (Va'yach et ha'sela, Bamidbar 20:11).
QUESTION: What could Moshe possibly have said to the rock that would
not have been either:
1. Blasphemous, or
2. Meshiggeh?
He could not have prayed to the rock, "Oh holy rock, favoreth thy
servant with thy blessing of water", because that would have been
avodah zara.
Likewise I can't think of anything he could have said to the rock in
the presence of 600,000 adult Yidden that would not have made him a
laughing stock. Can anyone here? Think of anything he could have said?
Some meshugineh things he could have said:
1. "OK, rock, you heard what the Aybishter said. Gay Pishen!"
2. "I'm asking you, rock, in the name of my maker, HaKodesh Boruch
Hu, to gay pishen!
3. "Be a nice rock and gay pishen!"
What could he have said? Here are some sample statements to get you
going.
1. "Rock, get ready to wet your gotkiss, I'm gonna tell you a joke
I heard when I was a waiter in the Catskills. A guy named Murray
Bernstein walks into a bar and says..."
2. "Miracles were stronger in those days. A simple 'Gay pishen!'
would have been sufficient.
3. "Thank you for sharing your water with us, rock".
4. "Rock, if you'll gay pishen, I'll feed you a cholent to die
for, it's so good I had to hire security guards to keep people from
breaking into my house last Shabbos".
5. "Heh. You know you're just dying to gay pishen, rock, and
you're holding it in just to spite me".
What could Moshe have said? Simcha
kepip...@hotmail.com
I don't know what Moshe could have said to the rock, but I do know what
both Moshe and the rock could say to you. They would tell you to
purchase several cases of strong spirits distilled from molasses, and
drink large quantities for a prolonged period. You would then end up a
derilect on New York's Bowery. And instead of Ram-Bam, people would
address you as the Rum-Bum.
Giorgies, wishing for vacation.
Herman Rubin
<kepip...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>in...@rambam.biz wrote:
>> It's that Torah time again when Moshe Rabenu heartbreakingly has his
>> passport to Eretz Yisrael revoked for hitting the rock instead of
>> talking to it (Va'yach et ha'sela, Bamidbar 20:11).
>> QUESTION: What could Moshe possibly have said to the rock that would
>> not have been either:
>> 1. Blasphemous, or
>> 2. Meshiggeh?
>> He could not have prayed to the rock, "Oh holy rock, favoreth thy
>> servant with thy blessing of water", because that would have been
>> avodah zara.
>> Likewise I can't think of anything he could have said to the rock in
>> the presence of 600,000 adult Yidden that would not have made him a
>> laughing stock. Can anyone here? Think of anything he could have said?
As God told him to speak to the rock, one of the possibilities
is for him to say,
In the name of YHWH, bring forth water.
Would that have been any less likely to work than giving
the rock a swat?
--
This address is for information only. I do not claim that these views
are those of the Statistics Department or of Purdue University.
Herman Rubin, Department of Statistics, Purdue University
hru...@stat.purdue.edu Phone: (765)494-6054 FAX: (765)494-0558
bac...@vms.huji.ac.il
After reading your post?
Mental illness strikes every 10 seconds so give generously ? :-)
Josh
>
Arthur Kamlet
Herman Rubin <hru...@stat.purdue.edu> wrote:
>
>>> Likewise I can't think of anything he could have said to the rock in
>>> the presence of 600,000 adult Yidden that would not have made him a
>>> laughing stock. Can anyone here? Think of anything he could have said?
This is the same guy who agreed to walk into Pharaoh's court, the
most powerful man in Egypt if not the entire world, one whose
people regarded as a god, armed only with a walking stick, and
demand of Pharaoh, Let my people go.
Do you suppose Pharaoh might laugh in his face?
>As God told him to speak to the rock, one of the possibilities
>is for him to say,
>
> In the name of YHWH, bring forth water.
>
>Would that have been any less likely to work than giving
>the rock a swat?
This incident could be regarded as one where God places a
stumbling block before the blind.
Only twice has God asked Moses to approach the rock with his staff
and get water from it.
The first time it happened, he was told to strike the rock.
The second time he was told also take your rod.
Now why would he be told to take his rod if he was to merely speak
to it? If God intended Moses to merely speak, then telling Moses
to take his rod was placing a stumbling block before the blind.
--
__
Art Kamlet ArtKamlet @ AOL.com Columbus OH K2PZH
in...@rambam.biz
which is also Reb Simcha's? Simcha
P.S. Does this mean, chas v'shalom (Jewish content) that if you want a
straightforward, highly intelligent and truthful answer to a question
on limudei kodesh, don't ask an "Orthodox"? Say it ain't so. -S
mos...@mm.huji.ac.il
It ain't so. Your problem is that you did _not_ ask a question on
limudei kodesh, you made bad jokes and leitzanut. Don't be surprised
if your answered in kind.
Moshe Schorr
It is a tremendous Mitzvah to always be happy! - Reb Nachman of Breslov
The home and family are the center of Judaism, *not* the synagogue.
Disclaimer: Nothing here necessarily reflects the opinion of Hebrew University
in...@rambam.biz
Moshe Schorr
------------------
Va'yach et ha'sela, Bamidbar 20:11 is not limudei kodesh? Anyway,
thanks to everyone for the stimulating answers. Simcha
Harry Weiss
--
Harry J. Weiss
hjw...@panix.com
mos...@mm.huji.ac.il
> Your problem is that you did _not_ ask a question on limudei kodesh.
> Moshe Schorr
The following was the full dialogue:
> P.S. Does this mean, chas v'shalom (Jewish content) that if you want a
> straightforward, highly intelligent and truthful answer to a question
> on limudei kodesh, don't ask an "Orthodox"? Say it ain't so. -S
It ain't so. Your problem is that you did _not_ ask a question on
limudei kodesh, you made bad jokes and leitzanut. Don't be surprised
if your answered in kind.
So by snipping half the sentence you changed the whole meaning of
what I wrote. That's not nice.
> ------------------
> Va'yach et ha'sela, Bamidbar 20:11 is not limudei kodesh? Anyway,
> thanks to everyone for the stimulating answers. Simcha
Of course the _verse_ is kodesh. The "jokes" you made about the verse
are not.
fla...@verizon.net
On 2-Jul-2006, bac...@vms.huji.ac.il wrote:
> > What could Moshe have said? Simcha
>
> After reading your post?
>
> Mental illness strikes every 10 seconds so give generously ? :-)
ROTFLOLHMSWTIME!!
Susan