"Tork" guy goes to the doctor (Joke)
sirkn...@earthlink.net
dreams about competing in sport events with animals. He informs the
doctor that the dreams are getting weirder all the time.
-"How would you describe these dreams?" asks the doctor?
-"Well, they are rather odd. You see, the other night for instance, I
dreamt I was in a race with a group of zebras...I didn't do too abd
though, I came in second.."
-"yes, go on.."
-"Well, last night for instance, I dreamt I was playing volleyball with
chickens..I was jumping up and down, slamming the ball all over the
place, scoring left and right...I was the toast of the day..all the
chickens were hailing me as the champion, the hens were asking for my
number to take me out.."
the doctor listens to the stories and resolves to put his patient opn a
steady regimen of pills.
-"No problem, all you have to do, is to take one of thes red pills each
day for the next seven days, and your dreams about competition with
animals will soon go away." replied the doc.
Puzzled, teh Azari looked at the doctor and asked:
-"Excuse me doc, but do you mind if i start taking the pills the day
after tomorrow?"
-"WHy yes, I don't see why not but why do you want to wait? Asks the
doctor.
The Azari replies
-"Well you see, because tonight is the finals..'
Hallaj
and Turk jokes here in SCI. But, by today's atmosphere, these jokes
are considered as "OK"!
Ever Backward!
Hallaj
Please remove "mr" when replying by email.
sirkn...@earthlink.net
happens to be from GIlan including Talesh and Rasht. I laugh at them why
can't you be mature enoug to laugh at them too? Or perhaps you'd like to
censure Persian jokes too?
azadeh
you need to admit that rashti and tork jokes are
indeed borderline racist! but, then again, is it
desirable to be "politically correct"? i think not!
'persian funnybone'
azadeh
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B527F02...@earthlink.net...
Hallaj
Mister,
In my post, I didn't mention you, I didn't call you or others who make
jokes about Turks and Rashties, Immature. I have never talked about
any ban over anything here or otherwise. Now, who is immature?
Hallaj (Doesn't laugh on his contryman)
sirkn...@earthlink.net
I do not agree that they are borderline racist, because Rasthi and Azari people
are of the same "race" as the rest of the Iranian people! Just as are Esphahanis
and Qazvinis, so are the Rasthi and Azari..
regards
sirkn...@earthlink.net
to the doctor because he had bad dreams? perhaps in that case we could all
focus on the main message in the joke, which was not to opke at the Azari but
rather of the ridiculous nature fo the dream and the man's determination to
continue with them so he could possibly win the finals!
azadeh
now you're being literally scientific or scientifically
literal about the concept of race. *of course* rashtis
and azaris are not a different race. i used the word
"racist" in its broad and popular sense (average people
on the street feel offended by these jokes and call them
racist, at least here in canada). i should have probably
said *ethnic joke" instead! anyhow, here is the url for
an interesting article that considers ethnic jokes as a
peaceful mode of lessening social tension!
http://www.ozcomedy.com/journal/11schutz.htm
regards,
azadeh
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B53B7AE...@earthlink.net...
CTG
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B53B7AE...@earthlink.net...
CTG
As It is with Samad Aghas show when Sarkar Ostovar
was made , and made idiots out of Iranain pure and simple heart villagers..
CTG from ChrSad Dasgah he Tehran
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B53B7AE...@earthlink.net...
MrMojoMan
"Hallaj" <mrha...@dwp.net> wrote in message
news:igb6ltss8emo8s2ki...@4ax.com...
>
> Hallaj (Doesn't laugh at his contryman) <-- (Changed *on* to *at* -- 3M)
>
Neither does MrMojoMan
Hallaj
<LONGLI...@nospamHOTMAIL.COM> wrote:
>CTG from ChrSad Dasgah he Tehran
bah, bah, taqriban bace mahalim, dAdAS!
Hallaj (bace-ye niruhavAi-e tehrAn)
CTG
sirkn...@earthlink.net
sirkn...@earthlink.net
has to be uptight and politically correct in this world, that is why we have
humor, to poke and make fun of the issues some people insist on taking so
seriously. Furthermore, if anyone is going to tell a joke about a "minority",
it should one who partially or entirely belongs to that minority himself, such
as ME (as I have said before, I am part Gilak). As far as the morally wrong
part, it is even more morally wrong to impose one's morals on others.
reza
show here. :(
"MrMojoMan" <mr_mo...@yahoo.com.NOSPAM> wrote in message
news:dlY47.40071$C81.3...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
sirkn...@earthlink.net
from Iran anyway.
sirkn...@earthlink.net
dAyi Hamid
>
> On Tue, 17 Jul 2001 21:55:09 +1000, "CTG"
> <LONGLI...@nospamHOTMAIL.COM> wrote:
>
> >CTG from ChrSad Dasgah he Tehran
>
> bah, bah, taqriban bace mahalim, dAdAS!
>
> Hallaj (bace-ye niruhavAi-e tehrAn)
ajab tasAdofi
ma ham mAl-e dAhAt-e niru havAyi hastim.
avval sad-dastgAh (we couldn't afford 400 dastgAh)
then niruhavAyi's 6th street.
Hallaj jun, midunestam AxareS bA ham fAmil dar miAym :-)
dAyi Hamid
Hallaj
<LONGLI...@nospamHOTMAIL.COM> wrote:
>And where would that be??????
Near cAr rah kokAkolA. bAnke rahni area.
Hallaj (somwhere between CTG and dAyi)
Hallaj
wrote:
>Hallaj wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, 17 Jul 2001 21:55:09 +1000, "CTG"
>> <LONGLI...@nospamHOTMAIL.COM> wrote:
>>
>> >CTG from ChrSad Dasgah he Tehran
>>
>> bah, bah, taqriban bace mahalim, dAdAS!
>>
>> Hallaj (bace-ye niruhavAi-e tehrAn)
>
>ajab tasAdofi
>ma ham mAl-e dAhAt-e niru havAyi hastim.
>avval sad-dastgAh (we couldn't afford 400 dastgAh)
>then niruhavAyi's 6th street.
>
>Hallaj jun, midunestam AxareS bA ham fAmil dar miAym :-)
bah, bah, residan bexeir, xoS Amadi dAyi jAn,
mA xeily, xeily hamsAyeh hastim bAbA! mA mAl-e hamun avAel-e
niruhamAyi hastim. mA bezA'at-e sad dastgAh ro nadAStim, ce berese be
cAr sad dastgAh. be mahal-e mA migoftand bAnk-e rahni!
xob dAyi jAn, az safaret be norvezh ce xabar. alva'adeh vafA. mA bA
kesi tArof nadArim o montazerim. Mojo Man has also a Norway plan and
we talked "poSt-e sar-e SomA" about a possible mini geedAr here in
Norway.
Hallaj
yaran
"mr"
Is it close enough to chaleh meydoon ?
Hallaj
Not exactly, have you got any problem with honest people of cAle
meidun?
mandela
States. He calls his mother and says, "mom, I have just been elected, will
you come to my inaguration?"
After a couple minutes of convincing her, she reluctantly accepts.
While the new president is being sworn in his mother says to the secretary
of defense," you see my baby up there, his brother is a doctor
mandela
The turk answers: I don't now,I just got here.
mandela
a.. If you leave your house at the exact time that the event you're going
to is supposed to start, no matter how far you live from the place. (Known
as PST - Persian Standard Time. Usually caused by the husband/boyfriend
saying "Karet nabashe...meereseem." Or the wife/girlfriend looking in her
immense closet and saying "I can't find anything to wear.")
b.. If you talk with your friends on your cell phone while you are still
able to see them in the distance - at the Coffee Bean on Sunset, Cheesecake
Factory in Brentwood, Sports Club Los Angeles, etc.
c.. If you use your cell phone to tell your friend that you are outside of
his/her house to pick him/her up. (Usually seen on the Wilshire Corridor- at
the Wilshire Estina and other highrises.)
d.. If your friends are named Tony, Fred and Mike, but none of them speak
a word of English.
e.. If you buy shaving cream from the Price Club...by the keg. If you have
Thanksgiving dinner with sabzi polo turkey (a wild combination of
Thanksgiving and aid.)
f.. If you are still a "Virgin" (Nudge nudge wink wink.)
g.. If you go to the doctor for a checkup and come home with medication
for your mother, grandmother, uncle and next door neighbor.
h.. If your mother fishes for compliments after the dinner, proclaiming to
everyone that the berenj and khoresht needed more namak. (A strange version
of this can be found in some homes in Beverly Hills or Brentwood when the
Guatamalan maid who cooks for the family finds herself being yelled at by
the mother in the house - "Maria you need more salt -moocho saley - namak -
namak!" If after a family meal, there is a fight to the death over who
should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and play cards,
waiting for their tea. (The one advantage to being a Persian man.)
i.. If you call everyone you know as soon as there is an American nightly
news show doing a story about Iran or someone from Iran. (Like the Iranian
Dallas Cowboy cheerleader - We've got one of our own on America's team
baby!)
j.. If you have your own beeziness yet you are a doktor, or a mohandess.
k.. If you never went to one day of college yet you tell everyone you are
a doktor or a mohandess.
l.. If you have lived in this country all your life, but you still talk
about the revolution as if you were there.(Hamash daste eengeelesah
bood.Eengeeleesaho Carter.)
m.. If you come to this country every few months to pick up your social
security checks yet you dont speak a word of English, and you have never
actually worked in this country. (Gotta love the Persian grandparents.)
n.. If you live in Westwood, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica ,
Bel-Air,Encino,Tarzana, or Brentwood and spend your life savings on a
Mercedes Benz or a BMW so that you can seem rich to other Persians. (Thank
god for leases.)
o.. If you end all shopping ventures with "My ferend...you give me
discount."
p.. If every two months you get a new cellphone, they keep getting smaller
and smaller, and you keep buying stock in whichever company you use that
month
mandela
asks how much? Lady says: 1 dollar to do it right here!
5 dollars to do it in the car.
10 dollars in the Park.
50 dollars to do it in the Hotel!
The turk gives her 50 dollars.
The lady says: ooh how classy! lets go to the Hotel!
The Turk says: forget the Hotel, 50 times right here!
mandela
You are persian IF...
1.)You refer to yourself as a Persian, not an Iranian.
2.)You refer to every other persian as a FOB.
3.)You have a fear of being deported.
4.)You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.
5.)You refer to a BMW as a BMV.
6.)You're always on the verge of trading in your Honda/Nissan for a Bimmer
or Mercedes.
7.)You can't spell worth a shit.
8.)You have a friend that designs websites.
9.)You think Black Cats have talent.
10.)You live in the suburbs but claim ATL!
11.)You keep a bottle of Skyy vodka in your freezer.
12.)You are studying to be a dentist.
13.)You only hang out in droves of 12 or more.
14.)Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black.
15.)You think your uni-brow is sexy.
16.)You celebrate when you receive your citizenship.
17.)You're sister is harrier than you.
18.)You wish Waffle House had "kaleh pache" on the menu.
19.)You can't sleep before 3 AM.
20.)You participate in gang bangs.
21.)You can actually justify a gang bang.
22.)You and your brother share girls.
23.)You'll sleep with 1,000 blondes but you'll never marry one.
24.)You trim your chest hairwith clippers and then move down south too!
25.)Yoy have ever watched the massacre of a sheep.
26.)You rap along to DMX in farsi.
27.)You refer to blacks as sousques.
28.)Your hair is a fire hazard.
29.)You've been clubbing since you were 15.
30.)All your white friends think you're a baller.
31.)You're parents are self-employed.
32.)Your cologne precedes you into a room.
33.)You cruise down South Beach blasting Andy.
34.)You only vacation in Miami or LA.
35.)You wear Gucci and Versace...during the day.
36.)You dream about girls in Iran taking it in the ass to keep their
virginity.
37.)You own a fake Rolex, Omega, or TAG.
38.)Your last name ends in "i" "ian" or "oli"
39.)Your Armani pants don't fit you, but you wear them anyways.
40.)You think you're a DJ.
41.)Your friends nicknames end in "oush".
42.)You refer to weed as Yonjeh!
43.)You think you're the first one to come up with Persian Mafia.
44.)You know the Persian Mafia hand sign.
45.)You rewind the movie Clueless to show your friends the Mafia part.
46.)You tell people your half Italian.
47.)You find cow tongue appetizing.
48.)You have convinced yourself that your eyes are really green or blue.
49.)You always have a place to stay when you visit DC, Atlanta, Toronto,
Dallas, or Santa Monnica.
50.)You know Ali.
51.)You have to explain to sefeeds that a visa is not a credit card.
52.)You listen to rap but talk shit about black people.
53.)You 'represent' yourself by your area code.
54.)You send shout outs.
55.)Your parents don't know the real you.
56.)Your refer to your dads friends as Amoo!
57.)You order hot tea at Chili's.
58.)Your parents have a samovar.
59.)You have a houka as a centerpiece in your living room.
60.)You take dates out to chelo kabob.
61.)You've heard of Charlie Kebab's (Waytago PEJ!)
62.)You have a persian rug in every room.
63.)You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.
64.)You go to persian concerts for the falloudeh.
65.)You think Fruit Roll-Ups are bullshit.
66.)You know lavashak is da bomb.
67.)You get pissed off when someone calls you an Arab.
68.)You refer to yourself as Zack or Mike.
69.)You actually like carbonated yogurt drinks.
70.)You've ever been in a fight because someone called you a camel jockey.
71.)You always taroff about who will pay.
72.)You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.
73.)You know how to flash your wallet and then put it back without paying.
74.)You only wear Adidas athletic wear.
75.)Your cell phone has a stupid-ass ring.
76.)Your grandmother insists you eat something everytime you visit her.
77.)You refer to your group as Khodemuni.
78.)You're intramural team consists of all persians and that one white guy.
79.)You name your pet Versace.
80.)You can get a hook-up almost anywhere you go.
81.)You have ever participated in tax evasion.
82.)You like Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin"
83.)You'll listen to anything but country music.
84.)Your parents say your becoming americanized anytime you get into
trouble.
85.)You know Samad is funnier than Jim Carrey.
86.)You're parents have been here for 20 years but they still say "I like
dat von".
87.)You get mad when you see a persian girl with a sefeed because you your
kir is bigger.
88.)You say things like "It's all about being persian!"--what?!?
89.)Your AOL screen name is a cute persian word.
CTG
the other in Antarctica....
Hallaj <mrha...@dwp.net> wrote in message
news:uecplt0c1gp8gqqkp...@4ax.com...
MrMojoMan
She is cute though.
--
-- MrMojoMan
--
"mandela" <sim...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9Ya77.27139$Xr6.2...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > i.. If you call everyone you know as soon as there is an American
> nightly
> > news show doing a story about Iran or someone from Iran. (Like the
Iranian
> > Dallas Cowboy cheerleader - We've got one of our own on America's team
> > baby!)
>
> Shah's great-great-granddaughter
> is Dallas cheerleader cover girl
>
> DALLAS (AP) - The great-great-granddaughter of a 19th century Iranian Shah
> hopes to be a role model for women in her family's homeland. However,
she'd
> probably be arrested if she showed up in the Muslim nation wearing her
> skimpy cheerleader outfit. Sarah Shahi, a 19-year-old descendant of Fath
Ali
> Shah, is one of 29 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders for 1999-2000 and the cover
> girl for the famed group's new calendar. "I know social rules in Iran are
> very conservative and I am very respectful for that and every type of
> culture," Ms. Shahi told The Dallas Morning News. "But I also would like
to
> become an example for women in that country."
>
> Not likely, said Dariush Khairkhah, coordinator of the National Iranian
> Congress, an opposition group based in Los Angeles."Although social rules
in
> Iran are a little moderate nowadays, women can't show their hair or wear
> makeup," Khairkhah said. "A woman is supposed to cover all her body under
> the threat of imprisonment." He predicted Ms. Shahi would be sentenced to
at
> least three months in prison for wearing her white boots, short-shorts and
> revealing blue top.
>
> Ms. Shahi's ancestor was one in a long line of Shahs who ruled Iran for
> hundreds of years before Islamic fundamentalists overthrew the government
in
> 1979. "I think he'd probably be pleased and happy of the advancements I
have
> made," Ms. Shahi said. Ms. Shahi has never been to Iran. While most of her
> family still lives there, her parents came to the United States more than
20
> years ago.
>
>
>
> What would FathAli Shah Qajar say? Nothing of course!
>
>
>
> Fath Ali Shah
> Pronounced As: fäth äl shä, fät , also spelled Feth Ali Shah, 1762-1834,
> shah of Persia (1797-1834), nephew and successor of Aga Muhammad Shah,
> founder of the Qajar dynasty. Most of his reign was spent in internal and
> external warfare. He managed to maintain himself against other claimants
to
> the throne but was not so fortunate in his wars with Russia. He sought to
> enlist aid from Napoleon, who was then contemplating an attack on India,
but
> the shah's hopes were dashed when Napoleon signed the Treaty of Tilsit
> (1807) with Russia. Fath Ali subsequently turned to England, but English
> influence failed to protect Persia from Russian encroachments. The shah's
> attempt to reconquer Georgia proved disastrous, and the Treaty of Gulistan
> (1813) and the Treaty of Turkmanchai (1828) deprived Persia of the
Caucasus
> and marked a downward trend in Persian power.
>
>
>
>
sirkn...@earthlink.net
actually looks pretty cute. Question is, would anyone raise such a fuss if she
was an ordinary girl from a middle or working class familly?
mandela wrote:
> > i.. If you call everyone you know as soon as there is an American
> nightly
> > news show doing a story about Iran or someone from Iran. (Like the Iranian
> > Dallas Cowboy cheerleader - We've got one of our own on America's team
> > baby!)
>
> [Image]
>
> [Image]
>
> [Image]
>
> [Image]
Hallaj
be qol-e qadimihA, az kuze hamAn tarAvad ke dar ust. No Iranian
expects something better than her from Fath Ali Shah. I do not think
she is the product of the extern freedom but intern emptiness. I hope
SAhparastAn do not bark on me this time again. I have nothing against
her choices of clothes and social behaviour but she better shot up
talking and comparing herself with great Iranian women; mitarsam
dahaneS becAd!
What would un bAbA say in such situation? marg bar fath ali
SAh?......LOL....
Hallaj (doesn't like kings but likes some princesses)
On Tue, 24 Jul 2001 09:10:29 GMT, "mandela" <sim...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
mandela
that's nothing new... what do you mean "raise such a fuss" who is raising
such a fuss?
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B5DE536...@earthlink.net...
sirkn...@earthlink.net
familly background should do this or do that etc... All I'm saying is that just
because she's a member of Iranian royalty, doesn't mean she can't go that route.
dAyi Hamid
>
> On Mon, 23 Jul 2001 03:16:44 +0200, dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net>
> wrote:
>
> >Hallaj wrote:
> >>
> >> On Tue, 17 Jul 2001 21:55:09 +1000, "CTG"
> >> <LONGLI...@nospamHOTMAIL.COM> wrote:
> >>
> >> >CTG from ChrSad Dasgah he Tehran
> >>
> >> bah, bah, taqriban bace mahalim, dAdAS!
> >>
> >> Hallaj (bace-ye niruhavAi-e tehrAn)
> >
> >ajab tasAdofi
> >ma ham mAl-e dAhAt-e niru havAyi hastim.
> >avval sad-dastgAh (we couldn't afford 400 dastgAh)
> >then niruhavAyi's 6th street.
> >
> >Hallaj jun, midunestam AxareS bA ham fAmil dar miAym :-)
>
> bah, bah, residan bexeir, xoS Amadi dAyi jAn,
>
> mA xeily, xeily hamsAyeh hastim bAbA! mA mAl-e hamun avAel-e
> niruhamAyi hastim. mA bezA'at-e sad dastgAh ro nadAStim, ce berese be
> cAr sad dastgAh. be mahal-e mA migoftand bAnk-e rahni!
bAbA xune-hAye bAnk-e rahni ke markaz-e niruhavAiie.
SomA jozv-e aEyAn neSinhA budin.
A couple of my school mates from Hadaf3 used to live there.
You're a few of years younger than me, but you might know rAmiz.
>
> xob dAyi jAn, az safaret be norvezh ce xabar. alva'adeh vafA. mA bA
> kesi tArof nadArim o montazerim. Mojo Man has also a Norway plan and
> we talked "poSt-e sar-e SomA" about a possible mini geedAr here in
> Norway.
norveJ umadan ke kAri nadAre.
I could be there in 2 hours.
But I wouldn't count on 3M.
in AmrikAiA alvaEde vafA mafA sareSun nemiSe.
How about a long weekend in November?
dAyi Hamid
Azeri Turk
life, if you say that joke in Turks face, the result would not be "OK"
:))))
Azeri
Hallaj <mrha...@dwp.net> wrote in message news:<kvi2ltg57ke9tdqhh...@4ax.com>...
> Some years ago we could discuss the discreminating message in Rashti
> and Turk jokes here in SCI. But, by today's atmosphere, these jokes
> are considered as "OK"!
>
> Ever Backward!
>
> Hallaj
>
>
>
> On Sat, 14 Jul 2001 10:50:27 GMT, sirkn...@earthlink.net wrote:
>
> >An Azari goes to the doctor and complains about his seemingly endless
> >dreams about competing in sport events with animals. He informs the
> >doctor that the dreams are getting weirder all the time.
> >-"How would you describe these dreams?" asks the doctor?
> >-"Well, they are rather odd. You see, the other night for instance, I
> >dreamt I was in a race with a group of zebras...I didn't do too abd
> >though, I came in second.."
> >-"yes, go on.."
> >-"Well, last night for instance, I dreamt I was playing volleyball with
> >chickens..I was jumping up and down, slamming the ball all over the
> >place, scoring left and right...I was the toast of the day..all the
> >chickens were hailing me as the champion, the hens were asking for my
> >number to take me out.."
> >
> >the doctor listens to the stories and resolves to put his patient opn a
> >steady regimen of pills.
> >-"No problem, all you have to do, is to take one of thes red pills each
> >day for the next seven days, and your dreams about competition with
> >animals will soon go away." replied the doc.
> >Puzzled, teh Azari looked at the doctor and asked:
> >-"Excuse me doc, but do you mind if i start taking the pills the day
> >after tomorrow?"
> >-"WHy yes, I don't see why not but why do you want to wait? Asks the
> >doctor.
> >The Azari replies
> >-"Well you see, because tonight is the finals..'
dAyi Hamid
>
> That's because behind the monitor everyone is a hero, but in real
> life, if you say that joke in Turks face, the result would not be "OK"
> :))))
I hear the best torki jokes from my Azeri friends.
If I find the time I'll write the history about this jokes
and how it all was started. Just this much that it started
all out of jealousy about the wealth of our northern
hamvatans.
Don't take it too personal.
dAyi Hamid
azadeh
"tork" jokes are racist! great majority of azeris feel offended
by them, even if some of your azeri friends make the same
jokes. i wouldn't like a package of jokes addressed to me
either about persians or women. it is important to respect
people's sensitivities and their pride in their ethnic and gender
identity.
regards,
azadeh
dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net> wrote in message
news:3B5F4DC6...@21st-century.net...
Hallaj
wrote:
>Azeri Turk wrote:
>>
>> That's because behind the monitor everyone is a hero, but in real
>> life, if you say that joke in Turks face, the result would not be "OK"
>> :))))
>
>I hear the best torki jokes from my Azeri friends.
>
>If I find the time I'll write the history about this jokes
>and how it all was started. Just this much that it started
>all out of jealousy about the wealth of our northern
>hamvatans.
>
>Don't take it too personal.
dAyi jAn,
You are like always right. I do not know about the origins of turki
jokes or for that matter raSti jokes. Perhaps there are some friendly
origins for these jokes. I agree with all who say; Oh my mother line
is turk, or my tork friends, told me these jokes etc. mA ham jAnamAz
Ab nemikeSim. There was in fact that famous "man zuram ziAde, to zuret
cieh" that I practiced together with one of my very "gardan koloft"
azari friends, in front of our other friends. Some of those friends
laughed and understood the firendly intentions in the joke. But some
other didn't like it, while they were also our friends. I think we
shall differ between a friendly gathering between people who know each
other than a public forum like SCI, where people do not know each
other, do not see each other and worse than all, These jokes are
written and will for at least some years be available and could be
read by anybody on this earth. These jokes could not develope if our
azari hamvatns all hated them, I gree, as perhaps the majority of
population in Tehran are torks. I amsure many people tell these jokes
to their tork friends in their friendly gatherings but they can never
say it in a public forum in Iran. I just thought, think about a guy
who goes to Tabriz and tell a tork joke in his friends home. What
happens? I am sure those torks will smile and give him the second cAyi
torki. But suppose the same person the other day goes out to one of
Tabriz's crowded qahve xAne and say: ye ruz, ye turke.......
We all know what would happen to him, don't we?
Hallaj (thinks torki o raSti jokes in public forums are a little
racistic)
azadeh
regards,
azadeh
Hallaj <mrha...@dwp.net> wrote in message
news:dibvlt8r0pmqk2g40...@4ax.com...
sirkn...@earthlink.net
you have too many sensitivities and most people do not share that point of view.
Jokes are there to poke at people and everyday life and people MUST learn to
deal with those sensitivities one way or another. This atmosphere is getting too
politically correct, to many people are hurt by too many things. Let them take a
joke or take a hike, after all, humanity didn't come all this way by being
overly sensitive but rather thick skinned. I love telling black jokes, Polish
jokes, Puerto Rican and Italian jokes, Arab and Jewish jokes, just as I love to
hear Rashti and Iranian jokes. It is time we stop this nonsense about
sentitivities about jokes, next thing we'll be living in a George Orwellian
nightmare world where every measure of speech and thought has to go through a
censorship process in order to determine if it is "correct" or not.
Just think of the type of person that gets offended by a mere joke for crying
out loud! Anyone in that category is one sorry individual to cry over what is
meant to take people away from our daily dose of murders, rape, wars and
politics. For my part, I will continue to post jokes from time to time and
people better get used to dealing with the humor because life is not going to
work around them, and rain is not going to stop falling, and Earthquakes are not
going to cease just because people can't deal with them.
sirkn...@earthlink.net
ago, I heard jokes about Iranian jokes for the first time, and they usually involved Persian women
having mustaches, or Iranian men going from puberty to adulthood by wrapping diapers around their
heads and other towel oriented joke. You know what? I LAUGH at them because they are intended to poke
at our stereotypes. Anyone sensitive to the point of getting offended is a sorry individual with
serious issues, not to mention a complex. What sort of low self esteem would cause an individual to be
offended by a joke and base their whole self image on a stereotype?
mandela
middle of the roads.
An Iranian woman was the only applicant and she got the job.
On the first day, she painted an impressive 50 miles of road, and her boss
was very proud.
On her second day, she painted 25 miles of road, and her boss thought that
was just fine.
On her third day she painted only 15 miles of road, and her boss was
starting to get concerned.
On her fourth day she painted a mere 7 miles of road. Her boss asked her why
she kept painting less and less road.
"Well," she answered, "each day the paint bucket is further and further
away!"
mandela
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked.
Bring beer.
#####
A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It
lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office
had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG
convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a
beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and
she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paintwork. An empty check stub
later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying
her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind,
music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
With that thought, there was a splutter from the engine and the car
slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and
concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what
was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone
call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van
pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the
matter?"
Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine
was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK. How many times a week do I have to
do that?"
#####
This blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left
a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman
read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she
probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the
point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note
to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up
with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits."
#####
An attractive woman from New York
was driving through a remote
part of Texas when her car broke down.
An Indian on horseback came along and
offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the
horse and they rode off. The ride was
uneventful except that every
few minutes the Indian would let out a
whoop so loud that it would echo
from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her
off at the local service
station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian
so excited?" asked the service
station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman,
"I merely sat behind him on the
horse, put my arms around his waist,
and held onto his saddle horn so I
wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said,
"Indians ride bareback..."
#####
There was a Christian lady who had
to do a lot of traveling for her
business, so she did a lot of flying.
Flying made her nervous, so
she always took her Bible along with
her to read while traveling, it
helped her relax.
One time, she was sitting next to a man.
When he saw her pull out
her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and
went back to what he was doing.
After a while, he turned to her and asked,
"You don't really believe
all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy
that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe
that, it is in the Bible."
He asked "Well, how do you suppose he
survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know.
I guess when I get to Heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in Heaven?" he asked...sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him", replied the lady.
#####
The pretty young Miss was having a tooth
pulled and the dentist gave her the usual
"This won't hurt a bit" routine before bending
over her with a drill in his hand.
He immediately drew back in complete
alarm. "Miss," he said in a barely audible
whisper, "You have hold of my privates!"
"Yes, doc, I know," she smiled, "and we
aren't going to hurt each other, are we?"
#####
A woman grows up with hardly any cleavage or anything.
She has a AA 30 bra. So one day she wished really hard
that she could be recognized by her chest by at least one man.
While thinking this, a fairy comes along and says she will grant
this small chested girl one wish. When she tells the fairy that
she wishes for boobs, the fairy tells her that when ever a guy
says, "pardon me miss" her boobs will grow.
Her wish was granted and she went out to the store.
She was in the meat department when a fellow customer runs into her.
Apologetically he says, "pardon me miss!" and her boobs swelled a little.
So the girl was getting all excited and decided to "accidentally" run
into someone else. So she was carrying her groceries and ran into a guy.
He said, "pardon me miss!" and she swelled a little more.
So she was really happy now and decided to go to dinner.
She dressed in a really cleavage showing dress and
went to a fancy restaurant. When she got there a waiter
ran into her and spilled food all over her causing a really big scene.
He felt so bad that he said. "pardon me a thousand times miss!!"
The next day the front page of the newspaper read "Woman and Waiter
killed By Overgrown Submarines" -the end
#####
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful
garden and all of these wonderful animals and
that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a
man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.
He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious;
all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But.. ...he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and
kill things. He will look silly when he's
aroused, but since you've been complaining,
I'll create him in such a way that he will
satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel
in childish things like fighting and
kicking a ball about. He won't be
too smart, so he'll also need your
advice to think properly."
"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, Lord?"
Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant,
and self-admiring... So you'll have to let
him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's
our little secret...... You know, woman to woman."
#####
A policeman is interrogating 3 blondes
who are training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a
suspect, he shows the first blonde a
picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would
you recognize him?"
The 1st blonde answers, "That's easy,
we'll catch him fast because he only
has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's
because the picture shows his
profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous
response, he flashes the
picture for 5 seconds at the 2nd blonde and
asks her, "This is your suspect,
how would you recognize him?"
The 2nd blonde giggles, flips her hair
and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to
catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds,
"What's the matter with you two?? Of course
only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because
it's a picture of his profile!!
Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this
point, he shows the picture to the 3rd blonde
and in a very testy voice asks,
"This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?" He quickly adds
"...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The blonde looks at the picture
intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the
suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and
speechless because he really doesn't know
himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting
answer... wait here for a few minutes
while I check his file and I'll get
back to you on that." He leaves the room
and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer, and comes
back with a beaming smile on his
face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE!
The suspect does in fact wear
contact lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute
observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied.
"He can't wear regular glasses because he
only has one eye and one ear."
#####
A blonde Texas cheerleader was driving home from a game and got caught in a
really bad hail storm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she
took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw
that she was a blonde Texas cheerleader and
decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and
blow into the tailpipe really hard and
all the dents would pop out.
So, the cheerleader went home, got down
on her hands and knees and started
blowing into the tail pipe. Nothing happened.
She blew a little harder and
still nothing happened.
Her roommate, one of the other blonde
cheerleaders, came home and said, "What
are you doing?"
The first blonde Texas Cheerleader told
her how the repairman had instructed
her to blow in the tailpipe in order to
get all the dents to pop out.
Her blonde roommate rolled her eyes
and said, Duh, Hello! You need to roll
up the windows first!!"
#####
25 Things Women Want To Hear In 2000
1. Gee Sweetheart, let's skip dinner tonight.
The only thing I'm hungry for is you.
2. Wow, I just don't know what to do with
this money we won in the lottery, so why
don't you take it to the mall and see if you
can find something to buy with it.
3. Hey, how about inviting your mother to
spend the summer with us.
4. Oh, go ahead and eat that third piece of
chocolate cream pie. If it's one thing I hate
it's skinny women.
5. What luck, they had a special rental rate
at the video store on romance movies.
6. How about I give you a nice massage and
foot rub. I really don't like sex that much anyway.
(Huh?? - ^v^)
7. You know, that Pam Anderson just doesn't
seem to have the brain power that I find so
attractive in a woman.
8. What a break, I won a prize on the radio
station ... tickets to either the super bowl or
the opening of the New York Ballet. I got first
choice so pack your bags for New York, we
get to go to the ballet!!!
9. Be careful Darling...don't let it go too far
down your throat.
10. Who wants to play golf when I can get
to see how good the lawn looks when it's
freshly mowed.
11. While your up Sweetheart, can you get
me a glass of water. I think I've had enough
beer.
12. Shoot, there's nothing on TV but football
games. Let's go furniture shopping.
13. There ought to be a law against those
porno movies. Can you believe that there are
guys that would actually want their wives to
do those things
they show?
14. Man I tell you, nothing feels better than
getting all spruced up in a suit and tie.
15. I'm getting a little tired of steak on the
grill. How about a nice quiche?
16. You know, I think I'd really prefer the
four-door sedan to that impractical Corvette.
17. Look at that ... disgusting. Why would
she wear a short skirt like that with no panties?
18. Golly I think we're lost. Let me find a gas
station to ask for directions.
19. My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why
don't you use the money my parents gave us
to get something nice for the house.
20. If the guys call and want me to go to that
new strip club with them, tell them I'm busy. I
really want to get the living room painted tonight.
21. You know Sweetheart, I'm really glad you
don't like doing all those dirty things they write
about in those stupid sex advice columns.
22. Sports cars are just such stupid little toys
for men who have never really grown up.
23. If you're looking for me later, I'll be over
there looking at the home decorating magazines.
24. You know, we really don't visit your relatives
enough.
25. Why don't you relax this weekend. I'll take
care of the cooking and housework?
########
A lesbian called Mary had had a hard day. Workmen had
leered and whistled after her in the street.
John the Office letch had come on to her and when
she'd gone for a relaxing drink she'd been pestered by drunken men....
Back in the safety of her home she pondered 'What if
I really got drunk sometime and I let a man take advantage
of me or even got attacked by one of those big rough hairy brutes?
She shuddered. There's no fucking way I want a man's ugly cock inside of
me, that's for sure. Right that does it!'
With that she put out her pipe, done up the buttons on the
sides of her plus fours, slipped on an old Sports jacket and
placed her monocle back in her eye. Making her way purposefully
to the Hardware store.
At the Store she was approached by an assistant.
'Yes madam, how may I help you?'
'Do you have any thing to make sure a man never
gets to put his penis inside me?
The assistant slightly amused replied I'll go in
the back and have a look' He comes back shortly and shows a small
metal device in his hand. 'What's that? Asked Mary.
'A Stop-Cock' replies the Assistant. Mary looks at him puzzled.
And the Assistant chortles 'Only Joking Madam' and returns into the back.
'Tosser' thinks Mary.
The Assistant appears once again, with something else in his hand.
Mary peers at it intently. The Assistant opens his palm to reveal a gun!
Mary now looks at the Assistant with some irritation
'Only joking Madam' utters the Assistant once more.
'Listen do you have something or not, as you seem just to be
bent on wasting my time at the moment'. 'Sorry Madam, just
trying to bring a smile to your face, it is an unusual request.
He scratches his head. Then with a twinkle in his eye says 'Hold on!
I really do think I have the very thing your looking for.
Just wait a moment' He disappears into the back again and this
time is gone a little longer. 'This Fuck wit better not be messing
me around any further' thinks Mary. At that moment the Assistant comes
back with a large round metal disc in his hands.
'What's that?' questions Mary.
The Assistant with a sheepish grin replies 'A Man Hole Cover!.
######
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote
part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and
offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the
horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every
few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo
from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service
station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service
station attendant.
"Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the
horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I
wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."
#####
There was a Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her
business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so
she always took her Bible along with her to read while traveling, it
helped her relax.
One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out
her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.
After a while, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe
all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the
whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to
Heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in Heaven?" he asked...sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him", replied the lady.
######
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a
beautiful young woman was
waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a
tight leather mini skirt
with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to
get on the bus she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her
leg to come up to the height
of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed
and with a quick smile to
the bus driver she reached behind her and
unzipped her skirt a little
thinking that this would give her enough slack
to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to
discover she still could
not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed
she once again reached
behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more.
And for a second time she
attempted the step and once again, much to her
chagrin she could not
raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So
with a coy little smile to the
driver she again unzipped her skirt to give a
little more slack and again was
unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind
her in the line picked her up
easily from the waist and placed her lightly on
the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the
would-be hero, screeching at
him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don't
even know who you are!!"
At this the Texan drawled " Well ma'am, normally
I would agree with you
but after you unzipped my fly three times, I
kinda figured that we was friends."
########
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3
wishes."
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a
condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband
will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in
the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also
make your husband the most handsome man in the
world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most
beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the
world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and
what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd
like a mild heart attack."
###########
Two women had been having a friendly lunch when the subject
turned to sex. "You know, John and I have been having some
sexual problems" Linda told her friend.
That's amazing!" Mary replied, "So have Tom and I. We're
thinking of going to a sex therapist" said Linda.
"Oh, we could never do that! We'd be too embarrassed!"
responded Mary. "But after you go, will you please tell
me how it went?"
Several weeks passed and they met for lunch again.
"So, how did the sex therapy work out, Linda?"
"Things couldn't be better!", Linda exclaimed. "We began
with a physical exam, and afterward the doctor said he was
certain he could help us. He told us to stop at the grocery
store on the way home and buy a bunch of grapes and a dozen
donuts. He told us to sit on the floor nude, and toss the
grapes and donuts at each other. Every grape that went into
my vagina, John had to get it out with his tongue. Every
donut that I ringed his penis with, I had to eat. Our sex
life is wonderful, in fact it's better than it's ever been!"
With that endorsement, Mary talked her husband into an
appointment with the same sex therapist. After the
physical exams were completed the doctor called Mary and
Tom into his office. "I'm afraid there is nothing I can
do for you," he said.
But doctor," Mary complained, "You did such good for Linda
and John, surely you must have a suggestion for us! Please,
please, can't you give us some help? Any help at all?"
"Well, OK," the doctor answered. "On your way home, I want
you to stop at the grocery store and buy a sack of apples
and a box of Cheerios......"
############
http://www.humourhotel.ic24.net
The Humour Hotel
#########
80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are
Not Stupid Convention." The compere says "We are all here today
to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have
a volunteer?"
One blonde steps up. The compere says to her "What is 15 plus
15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen." Obviously
everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start
chanting "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The compere says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of
getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess
we can give her another chance."
So he says "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she
eventually says "Ninety?"
The compere sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the blonde
starts crying and 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another
chance, give her another chance."
The compere, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than
damage, eventually says "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus
2?" The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually
says "Four."
Around the stadium 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another
chance, give her another chance."
###########
3 girls
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender: "What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
#########
So ... The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The
"dancer" came over to us. and my friend licked the $10 bill and put it on
his
butt cheek. Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She
calls
the guy back over, licks the $20 and puts it on his other butt cheek. Still
attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill.
She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 and again puts it on one of
his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top
that? I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and then the financial
analyst in me took over. I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of
his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.
#######
During her annual checkup, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe
and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off
the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness,
"Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?"
"Your clothes?" answered the doctor.
"Put them over here, on top of mine!"
#########
Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Actually
her doctor told her she had but a short time to live. She spoke
to her sister and said "Jennie, when I die and you put up a grave-
stone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. I want
them to put my name on it and underneath":
"BORN A VIRGIN"
"LIVED A VIRGIN"
"DIED A VIRGIN"
She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of
tombstones and explained what inscription she wanted. The grave-
stone maker told her that there were simply too many words to be
put on a headstone.
Jennie complained that those words were her sisters dying request
and the gravestone maker reassured her that he would see what he
could do.
In about a month the gravestone maker called Jennie and told her
the tombstone was ready, and that he had complied with her dead
sisters wishes as best as he could. Jennie looked at the tombstone
and across the top was her sister's name just as she had asked,
and underneath that was printed:
RETURNED--UNOPENED
##########
http://www.humourhotel.ic24.net
The Humour Hotel
##########
A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced
around and decided to stretch out her legs on
the seat and relax. After a while a beggar came
up to her and said, "Hello luv, how's about us
going for a walk together."
"How dare you," said the woman, "I'm not
one of your cheap pickups!"
"Well, then," said the beggar, "what are you
doing in my bed?"
#########
Two blondes walk into a building.....
You'd think ONE of them would have seen it!
########
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from
an evening of religious
service when she was startled by an intruder. As
she caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables, she
yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38"
(...turn from your sin...).
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman
calmly called the police
and explained what she had done. As the officer
cuffed the man to take him
in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand
there? All she did was
yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had
an AXE and two 38's!"
##########
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is
know as Sister Mathematical(SM) and the other one is known as Sister
Logical(SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past
half-hour?
SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.
What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start
walking faster.
SM: It is not working.
SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing
to do.
He started to walk faster too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one
minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us. So the man decided to go
after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because
Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both
of us, so he followed me.
SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.
SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I
could.
SM: So what happened?
SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as
fast as he could.
SM: And what else?
SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.
SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster
than a man with his pants down.
#########
Women's T-Shirt Sayings
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
And your point is...?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
You KNOW you want me.
Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...
Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
#######
49 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman!
1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We pee sitting down so it's easier to pass out on
the toilet when you're drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we
have to do is sleep with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better. (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We're cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we
fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
25. Cosmopolitan.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just
dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you
can walk all over em forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men.
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic!
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times
a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game, too.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time
because men screw up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man
want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone. (in case you guys didn't know)
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. Massage!!!!
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we
just take it out on the world in general because we can.
##########
http://www.humourhotel.ic24.net
##########
Female Perspective On Oral Sex (adult)
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not
standard practice to come on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I
heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really
WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have
sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls, if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behaviour to be
repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to
either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss it good morning".
###########
Womanly Truisms
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst,
for they are sticking to their diets.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies:
They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can
make a woman gain five pounds.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in
the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the
tempting moment.
Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you
stop laughing.
I had to give up jogging for my health.
My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks
two sizes.
It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.
The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting
a baby.
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she
can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
############
http://www.humourhotel.ic24.net
#############
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to, and one who reminds you
of
how far you've come.
2. Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your
own,
even if you never want or need to.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to
see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen
carrying.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your
old
age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age and some
money set aside to help fund it.
8. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
9. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
10. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your
family.
11. Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal
that
will make your guests feel honored.
12. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
13. A feeling of control over your destiny.
14. A skin care regime, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with
those
few other facets of life that don't get better after 30, and all those other
facets of life that do get better.
##############
Single Woman's prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Please don't send me no more creeps.
Please just send me one good man.
One without a wedding band.
One good man who's sweet as pie.
Who brushed his teeth and doesn't lie.
Who dresses neat and doesn't smell.
And is sexy like my man Mel (Gibson).
Is super-rich like Michael J.
On second thought, that's okay.
Man, if I should die before I wake,
that would truly take the cake;
No matrimony or honeymoon.
No fancy reception planned for June.
No throwing of the wedding bouquet.
Please, God, don't let me go out that way.
If I die before I meet Mr. Right
I won't go out without a fight.
But then again with my luck,
He'd probably be just some schmuck.
The single life is not that bad
I know it's just a passing fad.
I won't be blue. I will not frown.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down.
No more makeup, won't comb my hair.
So never mind this stupid prayer.
The single life will do just fine.
So what's up, girlfriend?
IT'S PARTY TIME!!!
###############
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break-up with a man and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and
wouldn't like to happen next.
6. How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.
7. How to ask for what you want in a way that make it most likely
you'll get it.
8. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips
or
the nature of your parents.
9. That you childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
10. What you would and wouldn't do for love or more.
11. How to live alone, even if you don't like it.
12. Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it
personally.
13. Where to go - be it your best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn
hidden in the woods - when your soul needs soothing.
14. What you can and can not accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
########
mandela
"azadeh" <aza...@postchi.net> wrote in message
news:YMM77.175320$q51.1...@news1.gvcl1.bc.home.com...
sirkn...@earthlink.net
the concered person a course in self esteem 101. Only when we test
ourselves by tearing at the very foundation of what we believe we are do
we really undersand what we are about and determine how solid is the
ground we stand on.
CTG
Rashtis are
'Bee GheyRat'??
Why is it not the other way around?
What impression do you get when someone says :"YuroRashti Ye"?
Do you not automatially associate Rasht with a **GheyRat less** land
How about:"Velesh Kon BuBu Yuroo Torke ":??
It is all beacuse of these jokes..
<sirkn...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B5FD770...@earthlink.net...
dAyi Hamid
>
> dear hamid,
Dear Azadeh
>
> "tork" jokes are racist!
Fine.
Thank you for the lesson.
dAyi hamid
dAyi Hamid
There were these two girls in GeedAr1 who were not known to anyone
(silent readers). One of them told me once (because of jok-e emruz
if you remember) "hamid xAn SomA bitarbiati hA". I took her to the
balcony where other SCIers (men only) were telling "bitarbiati" jokes
(like in any Iranian party) everybody got quiet until we left. I told
her then that what she witnessed (i.e. distinguishing between men and
women) is more "bitarbiati" than "bitarbiati" jokes. The best would
be not to tell such jokes, but when you get over that limit, it's not
ok to keep women out of it. Many of us (not including me) don't tell
such jokes in presence of ladies. I don't think that it has anything
to do with us having less (or more) respect for women, it's just a
part of our culture. Distinguishing between men and women in this
form is imho "bitarbiati". It's not right not to tell your female
friends the same jokes you tell your male friends. I said all that to
make this point that, ethnic jokes are a part of our today's culture.
It IS WRONG to tell such jokes but it's a part of us. They tell such
jokes in radio programs in Iran (they don't actually tell but play
them). They don't say a "tork" or "raSti" etc. but they talk with
their accent which implies the same situation. So, telling such
jokes in public happens even in Iranian media. Now, the statement
that it belongs to our culture is a lousy argument, I admit. I just
wanted to show that your point of view (although very true) is not
shared by many people. And in fact if you keep it in a closed circle
it's a kind of "AbzirekAhi" when not "bitarbiati" like the example
above.
We have gone through this already, so I can only repeat what I said
last time: It's like open and secret voting, you can make a vote
session open until one (only ONE is enough) person wishes to have
closed voting. So I think you can take SCI as a round of friends and
tell your jokes until someone (ONE is enough) feels insulted. You tell
jokes to make people happy and not belittle any ethnic groups.
Mentioning torks or raStis or qazvinis etc. is for preparing the ground
for the point of the joke and categorize the joke in listeners mind
before you come to the point. I don't really think that people tell
jokes to hurt or insult someone but to make a smile on people's face.
But again if someone gets insulted by them, it'll be time to stop.
There is something in this last point that we have to clarify: If you
agree that you can tell the jokes if nobody is insulted and stop when
you insult at least one person, can someone who is not insulted (or
let's say does not belong to that ethnic group) complain?
I'm not sure about this one. On one side it looks like "kAse-ye az AS
dAqtar", on the other hand (because of our special Iranian manners) we
wouldn't shout out ourselves if we were insulted and we might be happy
if someone else did.
Anyway, I stop telling ethnic jokes when someone (anyone) objects. Last
time (or was it the time before) (I'm getting old :-) I didn't even
start, because there was this guy who was shouting for the independence
of Iran's AzerbayjAn etc. and I thought it would hurt him and his
followers.
cAker
dAyi Hamid
P.S. One more point in the same line as those "bitarbiati" jokes:
I think calling Iranian Azeris "tork" is more insulting than
the jokes.
azadeh
are you being sacrastic? why? i was not
giving you a lesson, but expressing my opinion ;-).
regards,
azadeh
dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net> wrote in message
news:3B6070C9...@21st-century.net...
azadeh
regards,
azadeh
dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net> wrote in message
news:3B60873A...@21st-century.net...
dAyi Hamid
>
> dear hamid,
>
> are you being sacrastic? why? i was not
> giving you a lesson, but expressing my opinion ;-).
Sarcastic? I don't even know how to spell sarcasm. :-)
dAyi Hamid
azadeh
dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net> wrote in message
news:3B60A1C7...@21st-century.net...
mandela
"azadeh" <aza...@postchi.net> wrote in message
news:xe187.177906$q51.1...@news1.gvcl1.bc.home.com...
dAyi Hamid
>
> does anyone know how to say 'loos' in englisi?
No, but I know how to say "hasud" in ingilisi :-).
Take it easy. There's nothing more satisfying than
forgiveness.
The magic word "sorry" can change the world.
dAyi Hamid
P.S. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words
break my heart.
mash_ghasem
>does anyone know how to say 'loos' in englisi?
>
We are still looking for the word "hezbullahi" in englisi
among the name of animals bAbAm jAn. Come back next year
with your question!
--
sirkn...@earthlink.net
these people really stupid or are they just chosen out of the blue to make
people laugh? I doubt if those stereotypes are true to begin with, like the dumb
blonde thing. As I have said often, my mother's side of the familly (yes, that
means I am mixed) is Gilak (Talesh) and I never get offended by those Rasthi
jokes so maybe the rest can learn from that
mandela
perhaps a reminder so I can enjoy my jealousy :)
"dAyi Hamid" <dA...@21st-century.net> wrote in message
news:3B60A897...@21st-century.net...
dAyi Hamid
>
> ok dayjoon, whatever you say, but I don't know what I am jealous of...
ey bAbA, kesi ke xodeS kolli jok mifreste
dige bAyad Suxi sareS beSe digeeee :-)
Anyhow, don't waste your time with these
chit chat posts, you still owe me a reply on vf.
dAyi Hamid
La6red9nec
>From: "mandela" sim...@hotmail.com
>Date: 7/26/2001 4:03 PM Pacific Daylight Time
>Message-id: <cl187.64608$Xr6.2...@news-server.bigpond.net.au>
>
>does anyone know how to say 'loos' in englisi?
>
The closest thing is "crybaby" but I like to introduce the term "nonor" in the
English language to go along with my other contributions.
La6red9nec
>Date: 7/26/2001 4:32 PM Pacific Daylight Time
>Message-id: <3B60A897...@21st-century.net>
>
>mandela wrote:
>>
>> does anyone know how to say 'loos' in englisi?
>
>No, but I know how to say "hasud" in ingilisi :-).
>
>Take it easy. There's nothing more satisfying than
>forgiveness.
>The magic word "sorry" can change the world.
>
>dAyi Hamid
>
>P.S. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words
> break my heart.
>
evA khodA margam bedeh hamideh joon cheghadr to bA ehsAsi koskesh
:)))))))))))))))
Maleki
"La6red9nec" <la6re...@aol.com> wrote in message news:20010727142416...@ng-ca1.aol.com...
> >Subject: Re: "Tork" guy goes to the doctor (Joke)
> >From: "mandela" sim...@hotmail.com
> >Date: 7/26/2001 4:03 PM Pacific Daylight Time
> >Message-id: <cl187.64608$Xr6.2...@news-server.bigpond.net.au>
> >
> >does anyone know how to say 'loos' in englisi?
> >
>
> The closest thing is "crybaby" but I like to introduce the term "nonor" in the
> English language to go along with my other contributions.
>
>
Crybaby is the equivalent to "bachchenaneh", not "lus", and
generally only means a mentally weak person. The
verb "lus-kardan" is used when one takes one step too far
off the path of logic and in the path of love, and does not
indicate any disease of mind or hamper on one's maturity, etc.
A "nonor" on the other hand is someone who's not fully grown
in character (regardless of his or her age) and still shows behavior
that should've ended at around puberty. A "nonor" _is_ mentally
disfunctional to some extent, and often requires the help of parents
or relatives (or tribes, gang, cult, organization) to resolve his or
her issues. It is interesting that this disease has been seen among the
upper class Iranians quite frequently. One reference that comes to
my mind is Shuster's note of it made about the prime minister of the
time and many other upper class Iranians that he had met and known
closely. He did not elaborate on this much but on more than one occasion
described his astonishment how mentally immature some of them and
their behavior registered and yet how easily it was accepted by others.
For Iranians that syndrome is a thing of the past, even in the past only
the upper middle class and the upper class was afflicted with it as
such were the conditions that provided the niche for individuals like
that. Today even the upper class is too obliged to think hard and
perform well to keep the status quo or simply survive, so the present
society is not as bad as those days, and about the only people I still
see a high occurence of "nonor"s in them is of course the Baha'i
and Jewish Iranians, as these people are culturally really still behind
our times and have not progressed past late 19th century or at the
latest the early 20th century. The niche for mentally "nonor"
among them still exists, and this is why their behavior resembles
the middle upper class behavior of late 19th century Iran. I.e. this
resemblance is by association, not by a direct link. They invoke
the memory of such behavior in the mind of the present day Iranians.
Hallaj
<LongLi...@NOSPAMhotmail.com> wrote:
>Only a Tornado called VF could put two Bache mahal one close to Arctic and
>the other in Antarctica....
>
How right! afsus.
Hallaj
Hallaj
wrote:
>bAbA xune-hAye bAnk-e rahni ke markaz-e niruhavAiie.
>SomA jozv-e aEyAn neSinhA budin.
yAdeS bexeir! vali mA jozv-e a'ayAn hA nabudim. We had estaxr-e
homAyun in our neighbourhood which was expensive, mA bi pulA aksar-e
oqAt miraftim estaxr-e farahnAz. yAdeteh?
>
>A couple of my school mates from Hadaf3 used to live there.
>You're a few of years younger than me, but you might know rAmiz.
No, I do not know him, I know mostly girls!
Hallaj
>that is your opinion, one that a lot of people do not agree with. Not everyone
>has to be uptight and politically correct in this world,
Politically correct is a person who follows the fashion. The one who
follows the current politic. The one who has no principle in his/her
thinking. Opposing minority jokes is not fashion. Opposing this type
of jokes is out of one's principle.
that is why we have
>humor, to poke and make fun of the issues some people insist on taking so
>seriously.
So, you mean if torks take their equality to fars seriously we should
make fun of it?
Furthermore, if anyone is going to tell a joke about a "minority",
>it should one who partially or entirely belongs to that minority himself, such
>as ME (as I have said before, I am part Gilak).
What is guarantee that others do not tell these jokes and if these
jokes are okay why others should not tell them?
Hallaj
>One of my best friends is an Azari and Ghashghai mix and he laughs at those jokes all the time. Years
>ago, I heard jokes about Iranian jokes for the first time, and they usually involved Persian women
>having mustaches, or Iranian men going from puberty to adulthood by wrapping diapers around their
>heads and other towel oriented joke.
I have never heard these jokes. Of course, if I, once in a while, hear
a joke making fun of iranians or tehrAni people, will laugh but if
these Norwegians around me keep telling jokes about stupidity of
Iranians or making fun of our womens clouthing, I do not hesitate to
call them racist bastards.
Hallaj
Hallaj
wrote:
>salAm
>
>There were these two girls in GeedAr1 who were not known to anyone
>(silent readers). One of them told me once (because of jok-e emruz
>if you remember) "hamid xAn SomA bitarbiati hA". I took her to the
>balcony where other SCIers (men only) were telling "bitarbiati" jokes
>(like in any Iranian party) everybody got quiet until we left. I told
>her then that what she witnessed (i.e. distinguishing between men and
>women) is more "bitarbiati" than "bitarbiati" jokes. The best would
>be not to tell such jokes, but when you get over that limit, it's not
>ok to keep women out of it. Many of us (not including me) don't tell
>such jokes in presence of ladies. I don't think that it has anything
>to do with us having less (or more) respect for women, it's just a
>part of our culture. Distinguishing between men and women in this
>form is imho "bitarbiati". It's not right not to tell your female
>friends the same jokes you tell your male friends. I said all that to
>make this point that, ethnic jokes are a part of our today's culture.
>It IS WRONG to tell such jokes but it's a part of us.
Interesting account but rather irrelevant to our discussion.
They tell such
>jokes in radio programs in Iran (they don't actually tell but play
>them). They don't say a "tork" or "raSti" etc. but they talk with
>their accent which implies the same situation. So, telling such
>jokes in public happens even in Iranian media.
I am not impressed. When I was in Iran they made a sorud making fun of
amale people, those with hardest life in Iran. I think after a while
they stopped it a someone told them it is rather discriminating those
zahmatkeSAn. Lately a friend gave me a video of some fun programs from
jAm. jam TV. Even Norwegians are funnier than these guys. i
experienced: a bunch of lus o nonor-e bi honar. IRIs media should not
be taken as example, please.
Now, the statement
>that it belongs to our culture is a lousy argument, I admit. I just
>wanted to show that your point of view (although very true) is not
>shared by many people.
Right
: And in fact if you keep it in a closed circle
>it's a kind of "AbzirekAhi" when not "bitarbiati" like the example
>above.
AhhA? You bring an irrelevant example and then you conclude my
suggestion according to your example as Abzir-e kAhi? umadio nasAziA!
I didn't say do not tell torki jokes in front of torks. I said telling
those type of jokes in friendly gatherings might be all right as
people know each other and are familiar with the joke teller's
intention i.e is just to make people laugh. I said coming to a
newsgroup which belongs to all Iranian ethnicities and telling that
torks are felAn o raStis are bahmAn is not right.
>Mentioning torks or raStis or qazvinis etc. is for preparing the ground
>for the point of the joke and categorize the joke in listeners mind
>before you come to the point. I don't really think that people tell
>jokes to hurt or insult someone but to make a smile on people's face.
I have not any doubt about the intentions of most of the joke tellers.
But, unfortunately it is not always the intention which counts.
>But again if someone gets insulted by them, it'll be time to stop.
>There is something in this last point that we have to clarify: If you
>agree that you can tell the jokes if nobody is insulted and stop when
>you insult at least one person, can someone who is not insulted (or
>let's say does not belong to that ethnic group) complain?
>I'm not sure about this one. On one side it looks like "kAse-ye az AS
>dAqtar",
I have never talked on behalf of some body else. I only try to say
that this is not right to keep calling a big part of the nation "xar"
or "biqeirat" or "bacebAz". In my eyes only this whole make the
iranian nation. I belong first and foremost to iranian nation and
secondly to fArs ethnic group(?) so opposing these type of jokes
cannot be considered as kAse dAqtar az AS, as I am talking about
Iranian people.
:on the other hand (because of our special Iranian manners) we
>wouldn't shout out ourselves if we were insulted and we might be happy
>if someone else did.
>
>Anyway, I stop telling ethnic jokes when someone (anyone) objects. Last
>time (or was it the time before) (I'm getting old :-) I didn't even
>start, because there was this guy who was shouting for the independence
>of Iran's AzerbayjAn etc. and I thought it would hurt him and his
>followers.
or give him more arguments?
>cAker
moxles
>dAyi Hamid
Hallaj
>
>P.S. One more point in the same line as those "bitarbiati" jokes:
> I think calling Iranian Azeris "tork" is more insulting than
> the jokes.
besmellA, mA fekr kardim ke tamum Sod!
Why calling (as you put) Iranian Azari, tork is insulting? These
people call themselves tork. "san turk san" and etc, in their ordinary
every day conversation. This idea of calling the group of Azari
language a stork is shared by absolute majority of these hamvatans. I,
understand that some reasearches have suggested that the inhabitants
of AzarbAyjAn are not torks. But is it by any mean proved? In my
personal vocabulary those with Azari language (which is a branch of
Turkic language family) are called torks. Those who have fArsi as
their mother tongue are called fArs. Many of them come from Azari
ancestors. Some other from other Iranian ethnicities. Imo there is
nothing wrong to call Iranian Azaris tork as long they themselves
suggest that.
BTW, Have you ever heard a joke begins with: ye ruz ye bace-ye
orumiye... or other one from any azari city (With exception for
ardrebil)? No those jokes loose their meaning if you erase the tork
from them. So, how come my statement can be more insulting than those
jokes?
dAyi Hamid
>
> On Thu, 26 Jul 2001 00:41:01 +0200, dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net>
> wrote:
>
> >bAbA xune-hAye bAnk-e rahni ke markaz-e niruhavAiie.
> >SomA jozv-e aEyAn neSinhA budin.
>
> yAdeS bexeir! vali mA jozv-e a'ayAn hA nabudim. We had estaxr-e
> homAyun in our neighbourhood which was expensive, mA bi pulA aksar-e
Homayun was my classmate for 6 years in Hadaf. The swimming pool
of his father was named after him. We used to go there almost
everyday in summer and wouldn't have to stand in the queue or
pay if Homayun was around.
> oqAt miraftim estaxr-e farahnAz. yAdeteh?
Yeap. farahnAz was a bit better. They had mixed hours too :-).
dAyi Hamid
repeat what you already said. I didn't say YOU talk on behalf of
anyone, or you are "Ab zir-e kAh". You might want to read it again
without thinking that you were the target, it might make more sense
then. Not that it usually makes sense what I say :-).
dAyi Hamid
Hallaj
salAm,
May be I got you wrong. But, I was not ofended. Why we discuss? to
clarify doubts. You said yours and I said mine and the whole world is
still wrong.
Hallaj
On Sun, 29 Jul 2001 23:37:04 +0200, dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net>
Hallaj
wrote:
>Homayun was my classmate for 6 years in Hadaf. The swimming pool
>of his father was named after him. We used to go there almost
>everyday in summer and wouldn't have to stand in the queue or
>pay if Homayun was around.
Really, Homayun was your classmate? I happened to see him around the
estakhr several times. As I recall he was fat guy, wasn't he?
Good old days,
>> oqAt miraftim estaxr-e farahnAz. yAdeteh?
>
>Yeap. farahnAz was a bit better. They had mixed hours too :-).
good goood hours!
CTG
I also remember Homuyoon Pool too;)
Now that I think back it was a 'Khazine' pool..
200 people trying to swim in an area of 6 x 15 meters.;)
How about those 'Nare Khar' soldier statutes at the gate of the army base
towards Maydoone JDgule (Pirrozi now)?
They used to scrare the hell out of me when I was a little boy walking home
from school.
Akbar Mashti Ro ke Hatman Buyad Yudet Bushe Tow Meydoone Djuleh with its
beautiful 'Hayut' and IceCreams..!!!
Hallaj <mrha...@dwp.net> wrote in message
news:k3t8mt8tip6dtuerh...@4ax.com...
dAyi Hamid
>
> salAm,
>
> May be I got you wrong. But, I was not ofended. Why we discuss? to
> clarify doubts. You said yours and I said mine and the whole world is
> still wrong.
Sorry, I had the impression that you took it personal.
dAyi Hamid
dAyi Hamid
>
> On Sun, 29 Jul 2001 23:26:01 +0200, dAyi Hamid <dA...@21st-century.net>
> wrote:
>
> >Homayun was my classmate for 6 years in Hadaf. The swimming pool
> >of his father was named after him. We used to go there almost
> >everyday in summer and wouldn't have to stand in the queue or
> >pay if Homayun was around.
>
> Really, Homayun was your classmate? I happened to see him around the
> estakhr several times. As I recall he was fat guy, wasn't he?
He wasn't fat but he was very small. He had a bone illness.
He couldn't walk properly, but he could swim very well.
If I remember right, they were 5 brothers.
dAyi Hamid