Ten Years Later: Murdered Children of Khoua Her, St. Paul, MN
StickRice
By Rubén Rosario
Article Last Updated: 09/06/2008 09:57:15 PM CDT
Saint Paul Pioneer Press
Pat Hogan will never forget the day he dug a mass grave wide enough to
fit the bodies of six children side by side.
It was Sunday afternoon, Sept. 13, 1998. Hogan, then a grounds worker
and now the superintendent of Forest Lawn Cemetery in Maplewood,
remembers being called in as he was getting ready to watch the Vikings-
Rams game.
Instead, he listened to the game on the radio as he dug the final
resting place for the victims — all siblings — of one of the worst
mass murders in Minnesota, certainly in St. Paul, in recent memory.
"It is a sight I hope to never see again,'' Hogan recalled last week
after he took me to the grassy burial site.
The kids — three boys and three girls, ages 5 to 11 — are on Lot 134,
Block 33 on the cemetery's northwest corner, between the "Anderson"
and "Hang'' graves.
I could not get there without Hogan's help. Ten years later, there are
no markers, no headstones, nothing to identify who these children were
and where they lie. I believe many people have walked over them
without knowing it.
They deserve better, even now. They deserved far better than the fate
that awaited them Sept. 3, 1998, as they played outside their
apartment at 1541 Timberlake Road in St. Paul.
One by one, each was called to come inside by their then24-year-old
mother, Khoua Her.
A child bride of Hmong descent by 12 and a former Thailand refugee
camp resident, Khoua Her was reeling from personal, financial and
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emotional setbacks that included undiagnosed depression.
She was separated from her husband, the children's primary caretaker,
whom she had accused of assaulting her on numerous occasions. She had
lost her job as an assistant at a suburban marketing firm and was
dependent on public assistance. Other than in-laws, she had no family
here.
She was also dating a 17-year-old reputed gangster, a teenager who
later told police about a bizarre suicide pact the two had agreed to
carry out once he got out of jail.
KILLED ONE BY ONE
There is no greater or stronger love, bond or blind trust than that of
a child toward a parent.
Khoua Her, regardless of her very real demons, betrayed that trust in
a stunningly violent and tragic way.
Using the ruse that she wanted to play hide-and-seek inside the home
with them, Khoua Her called in her oldest first.
Eleven-year-old Koua Eai Hang was first to die, according to court
documents. He was found at the top of the landing of Apartment G's
second floor, a black cloth wrapped tightly around his neck.
The others, called into the home in descending order by age, were
found similarly strangled around the split-level apartment in the Mc-
Donough public housing complex. They were Samson Hang, 9; Nali Hang,
8; Tang Lung, 7; A-ee, 6; and Tang Kee Hang, 5.
That's how they were laid to rest, inside child-size Monticello
vaults, west to east, oldest to youngest.
Officials discovered the bodies after Khoua Her, who had put on a red
ceremonial dress and wrapped an extension cord around her neck in a
feeble suicide attempt before she called police to alert them to the
parental slaughter.
Hundreds of mourners attended the burial the day after Hogan dug his
hole. They prayed for the dead kids. They brought flowers and other
mementos. Then they left.
Khoua Her's attorney planned an insanity defense before the woman
pleaded guilty to murder. She owned up to the crime. She was sentenced
Jan. 8, 1999, to 50 years in state prison. The earliest she can walk
out of the Shakopee Prison for Women is Jan. 5, 2032 — 24 years from
now. If that happens, she still would have to satisfy terms of her
probation until 2048.
On the day of her sentencing, before she was sent to prison, she
talked nonstop for nearly two hours about the struggles in her life.
But she never expressed in those two hours any real remorse for
killing her children. I know. I was there.
"There will be no mention that Koua Eai kicked around a soccer ball
and played marbles with neighborhood kids. No one will record for
history that Nali loved to read or write, or that the kids kept a
turtle and pigeons as pets, or what kind of aspirations they had,'' I
wrote in a column published the next day.
"That's the true tragedy here.''
Still is, a decade later.
RARELY VISITED GRAVES
But there is always some positive to such a negative. We can spin it
divine or natural or how we like.
The case brought to light, both locally and nationally, the culturally
muffled taboo subjects of mental and domestic violence facing St. Paul
and especially the nation's Hmong community entering a second
generation of existence in 21st-century America.
By no means was this tragedy culturally exclusive. This is a universal
problem.
"I truly believe that (the killings) ultimately ended up saving a lot
of children as well as women, because it did bring to light, like
never before, issues that were also affecting the American community
at large," said Ilean Her (no direct relation to Khoua Her), executive
director of the St. Paul-based Council of Asian Pacific Minnesotans.
Hogan recalls that Khoua Her called the cemetery a few years ago from
prison.
"She was simply inquiring about the procedure and cost of marking the
graves," Hogan said. Nothing came of the phone call.
"The Hmong community places the memorialization of their loved ones in
very high regard and spares little expense in marking the grave,''
Hogan confided. "Some of the most beautiful and expensive markers and
monuments here at Forest Lawn are on the graves of Hmong people."
Hogan has seen few visitors at the unmarked gravesite in recent years.
Those he has seen, when he has looked up from his office, have been
uniformed St. Paul cops.
"We've picked up flowers over the years that the cops have put down,''
Hogan said.
John Vomastek, a St. Paul police commander and head of the homicide
squad at the time of the 1998 killings, has no idea which cops showed
up at the burial site.
"I don't know who those officers are. But I did not even know we were
doing that,'' Vomastek told me last week. "Maybe it's just these guys
are still struggling with that, because it was a really sad day."
KIDS REMEMBERED
But someone — relative, cop or other — remembered these kids last
week.
Hogan and I discovered candy placed atop the unmarked graves
Wednesday, the 10th anniversary of the mass killings.
There were three cellophane packages, each containing two white-
frosted devil's-food cakes with dark chocolate stripes. Multicolored
candy balls, also wrapped in cellophane, had been placed nearby.
Hogan and Ilean Her both explained that the items signaled an offering
to help feed and nourish the departed in the afterlife.
"The vaults were smaller than others because some of these kids were
really young,'' Hogan said. "It's just a heart-breaking thing to see."
Elsewhere, a ceremony took place. The apartment where the murders
occurred was "cleansed'' of the dead kids' spirits by Hmong spiritual
elders and converted into a St. Paul public housing police substation
in 2000.
At the gravesite Wednesday, I said a prayer for the kids as well as
for their mom and then headed downtown, where the political circus,
and the police presence making sure it would not be disrupted, was in
full swing.
All4One
article. ua tsaug!
jim
Hmong-Lao
Thanks for sharing. The story really makes me tear.
HL
Moobsib
ms
YT
Minnesota Radio last night and here what I learned from the listeners:
1. Father still alive and live in Minnesota. He should be the one to
establish the headstones. He was giving enough money to make one, but
he didn't.
2. Regardless of what the past was, for 10 years and still no
headstones, we as community should do something about it.
3. Talked to the father first before the community do anything.
4. This is the work of the non-profit organizations that so called
representing the Hmong community - listener talked to me after the
radio.
5. Father said and promised his family member that he will get one
long time ago.
Here is what I think:
Regardless of the past, whatever the past was, it does not take much
to get one headstones for all six children, we Hmong community should
come together to make this a possible mission. Let them be known to
passer of who they were? Let them be rest like everyone else of their
neighbors.
Yes, the father should take responsibilities of this whole thing, but
didn't happen for 10 years. These were young innocent children. As a
Hmong, it hurts to see that for 10 years these innocent children had
no headstones.
Now your turn:
What do you all think about it?
What can we do?
What should we do?
What we must not do because....?
We Are One,
Tserwayia M. Thao
kwv...@aol.com
now it costed $5,000. if you are talking about a single verticle, but
bigger and taller one for 6 kids, it probably will cost betwen $7,000
- $10,000. i don't believe the man has that kind of money for it
now. all the monies that were given to him 10 years ago were his free
to spend at will. he probably already used all for zaub mos in laos/
thailand. my question is at the time why would the money be given to
him, why not given to a trush fund. we all know he is no differece
than his wife, qhua hawj. i don't blame him for spending all the
money, but the organizers.
hnu...@gmail.com
Tserwayia M. Thao,
Since you already have a mean to inform the public, you should start a
campaign to raise money for the headstones. You will never get a
concensus if you ask for people's opinions. There are times when you
must go ahead and act even if you are alone at first. If you are
right, people will follow you. And I can assure you that this is the
right thing to do. My only question is - can this be done without the
parents approval. Sounds like the mom had at least inquired about the
headstones so she would grant permission if the dad can't be found.
Hnub kaj
Tzianeng Vang
A group of us had already started the conversation in trying to
contact the paternal family, the Tou Kong's (Hang), and seek
permission to contribute fund in installing some sort of a marking for
the children...these are not just the Kong/Hang's children, but all
Hmong's. They are our children now and that's why we've found
ourselves to be so charged and emotional about the unmarked grave
site...
Anyone interested, please supply your contact info to me and will keep
all posted on what will transpire...
NOTE: if anyone knows of where we can best contact the member of the
paternal family please let me know...the few people and place/
locations we thought the contact may have been were not successful...
Ua tsaug,
-Txiabneeb
txiabneebatgmail.com
xto...@yahoo.com
Ua cas hais tau tsis txaus ntseeg li, tseem txog hniaj hnub nos tseem
tsis tau muaj dab tsis kiag li lov!
Tus leej txiv nos vij yog nws tsis txawj ua ib leej txiv kiag, cas nws
cov mesnyuam los tuag tag los yeej tsis mob nws lub siab, xyov nws pua
tseem mus saib lawv thiab los tsis mus, twb yog 10 xyoo lawm tseem
tsis muaj phiaj zeb cim hom tseg. Kuv xav mas leej txiv nos tsis muaj
qab hau dab tsi lawm. It was so sad to have a father like this! Kuv
xav yog tig tau mas xav kom lawv nyob es cias lawv txiv mus pws hauv
av mas ntshe zoo dua thiab tej hauj lwm los tej zaum yuav tiav tas
lawm.
Hmong-Lao
It is good that you two have done something about it. I have thought
of this last night and began to search for some simple head stone. I
found an online deal with free shipping. The cost of an economic gray
granite flush head stone is about $255. I assumed that the
installation costs is about $245 per stone, which will cost about
$3000 total.
First, we should consult the family (parents' consents if possible)
before doing so. If not, a closed relative would be fine. Secondly, we
should consult the cemetery for approval of the head stone types and
size before going any further; and then ask for the installation
costs.
Let us know how your progress is; I believe, lots of us, SCHers are
willing to donate.
HL
YT
I got emailed from the author of the Pioneer Press article about the 6
children. The following is what emailed me by Ruben Rosario:
"Thanks, Yia, for your e-mail. These kids are not just Hmong kids.
They are all our kids. The cemetery folks, who have received numerous
calls, will also alert me about any similar efforts.
Keep me posted...."
I'm sure we can work with the Pat Hogan from the Forest Lawn Cemetry.
I'm sure he will be glad to work with us Hmong.
Txiabneeb, let me know if you in any success in contacting the
father. I got called from my listeners that the father live in St.
Paul. Perhaps, we could use my resource to air to find the father and
move from there on. Let's forget about the pass. The father might
not have any money right now as stated by others in SCHlers here, but
we as Hmong work with the father or family members of the father will
bring a solution to this. These children deserved better.
We Are One,
Txawjvamyias
Moobsib
Mej cov nyob peg ko tub muaj proper resources le ko lawm ces mej pib
qheb txuj haukev es peb cov nyob dleb leej twg muaj pluaj sab hlub hab
taabncuab txug los le maam xaa phaajtshaab tuaj koom nrug mej xwb
mas.
MS
nkaujh...@yahoo.com
please update on this...
some PHers (user in pebhmong.com) wants to donate too.... see link:
http://www.pebhmong.com/forum/index.php/topic,82101.0.html
thanks,
nruabsiab
Hmong-Lao
Thanks for the link, Nkaujhmoobvwj,
Please invite your e-pals from Hmong.com forum to join us here so we
don't set multiple accounts or funds for the same cause.
By the way, are you one of our existing friend? If not, welcome to
SCH.
HL
Tzianeng Vang
Tsev neeg xeem Koo tias lawm teem tau sij hawm rau lub lim tiam xaus
no lawm. Tom qab ntawv lawv tham tag thiab tau lus li cas mam tshaj
qhia. Yog li thov nej sawv daws ua siab ntej to lub lim tiam tom ntej
no mam rov ntau xov cab sab rau SCH no kom peb sawv daws tau paub tias
yuav tau cai los tsis tau cai ntawm tsev neeg los txi cov me nyuam no
lub qua ntxa...
Ua tsaug rau nej li kev mob siab, thiab...
-Txiabneeb
txiabneebatgmail.com
nkaujh...@yahoo.com
An existing friend of whom/what???? I just signed up so I can post
the link in here and also my comments.... normally, i surf in
pebhmong.com as nruabsiab ;o) come in join us in there too.
as for setting up funds, i think those in MN should be the ones that
lead and we (out of state) people can follow for good cause....
anyways.. i told my parents about his last nite, and my dad said he
remembered that guy (if its him) came down to california/sacramento
and asked for donation that his wife killed all this kids..... he got
lots of monies, so why didn't he done it...
anyways thats the past, he only represented himself and his family....
we as hmong/people should love us, if we don't, who will... i'm so
happy to see many people with good and i hope someone make this
possible.
:o) nkaujhmoobvwk aka nruabsiab
nkaujh...@yahoo.com
make sure its a trust fund account that doesn't go to the father....
i'm hoping people will donate more then it can use, so the rest of the
funds can go to another charitable good cause to help someone else.
nkaujhmoobvwj aka nruabsiab
Tzianeng Vang
It will be a trust fund type or a secured account for the purpose
stated only...have contact a few banker friends already and if the
permission is granted then that would be the ideal way to set it
up...also a member of the Kong family had told me that the supply for
whatever the monumental task we're looking for may be donated as
well...please stay tuned!
-Txiabneeb
Hmong-Lao
Thanks for the update. We will rely on you and YT to inform us on this
matter.
New Friend Nruabsiab, welcome again to SCH. I'm sorry, my question was
not clear. To me, any SCH participant is considered friend regardless
of age and sex.
To all whom thought the father used the donated money for his own
pocket,
I don't know how the funeral(s) for these kids were held back then.
But I believe that it should had been six funerals, because Hmong is
tabooed to run more than one funerals for the same family at the same
time. I strongly believe that the funerals would had cost at least
$100K for the six children (Note that an average funeral for kids back
then was about $20K). I don't think he would have any money left over
from the donations, plus he might have owed many of his relatives who
lent him the money for those funerals.
HL
Tzianeng Vang
Funeral was conducted at one time for all six; the caskets were laid
out at the Hmong Metro Funeral Home in Maplewood and there were lots
of people line up to view the bodies...and all six were buried in one
dug grave site with their individual vault and caskets...all were
donated by a generous monument company...I was told...
That's why it is not just a typical grave site, but a historic one for
all and not just us Hmong...
nkaujh...@yahoo.com
thanks.. what does SCH stand for... hehehe.. i'm a newbie :o)
Txiajneeb... thanks for the update and info.
NS
Tzianeng Vang
C=Culture
H=Hmong