Kulit (Pinoy parrot joke/story)

JRG

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Jan 28, 1993, 1:23:36 PM1/28/93

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There are a lot of parrot jokes back home. So far ito
palang ang na aala ko.......

May alagang parrot si Asiong na ubod ng kulit. Isang
araw nga siya ay nag-aahit, may bagong kabulastogan namang
na isipan itong si Kulit (parrot).

Kulit: "Iwa ka! Iwa ka!"
Asiong: "Tumigil ka diyan Kulit at baka mahiwa nga ako."
Kulit: "Iwa ka! Iwa ka"

At biglang nahiwa nga si Asiong. Galit na galit si Asiong.
Asiong: "Walang hiya ka talaga! Pag-inulit mo pa pa iyan
iluluto kita!"

Nakalipas ang ilang araw nag-aahit nanaman si Asiong. Nakita
na naman siya ni Kulit.

Kulit: "IWA KA! IWA KA!"
Asiong: "Tumigil ka at pag ako nahiwa pa papatayin na talaga
kita!"
Kulit: (walang pakialam) "Iwa ka! IeeeeeWaaaaa KA!

Nahiwa nga si Asiong. Sugod ngayon si Asiong kay Kulit at
sinakal nya ito habang papalag-palag si Kulit ng bilang.....

"Asiong buksan mo itong pinto, si Sally ito (Sally Wa ang....)"
Si Sally ay ang syota ni Asiong. Hindi ngayon alam ni Asiong
kung anong gagawin niya kay Kulit. Kaylangan niyang itago si
loko at baka lalong magkalat ng lagim ito. Pumunta siya sa banyo
at kinulong niya si Kulit sa toilet takip-takip ng toilet seat.
At binuksan niya ang pinto para kay Sally.

Asiong: "Hay, lab."
Sally: "Hay" sabay halik (naks). Na uuhaw ako, mayroon kabang
softdrinks?"
Asiong:" Ahh, wala. Pero teka tatakbo muna ako sa tindahan.
Maupo ka muna at babalik ako kagad." Sabay sibat.

Samantala asar na asar si kulit sa amo niya.
Habang nag iintay si Sally. Tumawag ang kalikasan....na
ji-jingle siya (naku). Pumunta ngayon siya sa banyo, binukasan
ang toilet seat at sabay upo ng hindi niya napansin si Kulit.
Nagulat si kulit sa nakita at sabay tanong....

" IWA KA RIN?"

Tawa naman diyan.....uuyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

If you know more parrot jokes please post.

JR Garces

Rey G. Carolina

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Feb 1, 1993, 10:32:16 AM2/1/93

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In article <1993Jan28.2...@engage.pko.dec.com>, garc...@uswrsl.enet.dec.com (JRG) writes:

> There are a lot of parrot jokes back home. So far ito
> palang ang na aala ko.......

> .... stuff deleted
> ....

> If you know more parrot jokes please post.
>
> JR Garces

.... okay, you are asking for it...

May isang magandang babae... may alaga rin siyang parrot na quite
talkative... isang araw pagkatapos maligo ng babaing ito, the parrot saw
her private part... e di sabi ng parrot
Parrot: "Eeek...eeeekk! kita kiki! kita kiki!...eeeeeek"!
Babae : "Shhh! 'wag kang maingay at baka marinig ka nang mga kapitbahay!
Pag-inulit mo uli 'yan, kakalbuhin kita diyan makita mo!"

Lumipas ang ilang araw, nakita ng parrot na hubad-hubad ang babae
habang nagbibihis... atubiling magsisigaw ang ating parrot dahil takot
siyang makalbo eh. Pero, hindi rin nakatiis at nagtitili na naman...
Parrot: "Eeeeek...eeeekk! kita kiki! kita kiki!...eeeeek"!
Babae : (Galit na galit)"Di ba sabi ko iyo kakalbuhin kita pag-umulit ka!

Well, kawawang parrot, e di nakalbo nga siya ano! Ayun... nasa isang
sulok na lang siya at mukhang basang sisiw...

Isang araw, dumalaw ang boyfriend ng babaing ito... katok sa pinto..
Babae : "Sino yan?"
Boyfriend: "Ako sweetheart".

E di binuksan ng babae ang pinto... yun pala ang b.f. ng babaing ito
ay kalbo. Siyempre napuna agad ito ng ating parrot... kaya tanong agad
si parrot:

Parrot: "Hoy... eeeek.. eeek.. bakit ka kalbo?... eeek... kita ka rin
ng kiki? eeeeek..."!

U61...@uicvm.uic.edu

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Feb 3, 1993, 9:32:18 AM2/3/93

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ULOL!!!

JRG

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Feb 3, 1993, 4:45:32 PM2/3/93

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In article <93034.083...@uicvm.uic.edu>, <U61...@uicvm.uic.edu> writes...
>ULOL!!!

Mga kababayan, isang ehemplo ng isang lorong inabuso ng kanyang
amo. Ang kanyang isinulat ay ang tanging salitang natutunan niya
mula sa kanyang amo buong buhay niya........

/JR

P.S. Tuloy ang ligaya. Post any parrot jokes that you know. The
previous ones were really a crack up. Ignore this type of stupid
remarks in the future.

I shall return

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Feb 4, 1993, 12:35:15 PM2/4/93

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My contribution to the PARROT jokes collection:

May isang madgikero (magician) na may alagang loro (parrot). Tuwing
mayroon siyang show, ang loro ay nasa tabi niya. Ito ay isang tunay na
magandang loro pero madaldal at walang bilib sa madgikero.

Ang problema niya sa loro ay parating ibinubuko ng loro ang tricks
niya. Minsan, sa isa niyang show, pinawala niya ang magic wand niya.
Papalakpak na sana ang audience, biglang sumigaw ang loro at sinaba na...
"Nasa ilalim ng mangas niya ang magic wand!". Dahil dito, na-boo ang
madgikero at umalis ang lahat ng tao. Sinabi ng madgikero sa loro na huwag
na siyang bubukuhin dahil walang mano-nood at hindi sila kakain.

Sabi ng loro, "E boss, talagang hindi ako bilib sa iyo, pero kaysa
magutom tayo, I promise hindi na kita ibubuko.". Magaling, tayo ay mag-barko
at pumunta sa Cebu at doon tayo magbagong buhay.

Habang nasa barko, bumagyo at nalubog ito. Kinabukasan, lumulutang
ang madgikero at nakahawak sa isang kahoy. Lumipad ang loro sa kanya at tinuka
habang sinabi, "Boss, boss, bilib na ako sa iyo, LABAS MO NA YONG BARKO!"

I hope you like it.

P.S. I am still looking for Don Bosco (Mandaluyong) grads out there. Please
email me at jo...@tfs.com or call me at 510.704.3519
--
************************** K -+- F ****************************
* jo...@tfs.com TRW Inc.* E --------|-------- L * PP-ASEL N2815F *
* 510.704.3519 * E __\___(O)___/__ Y' * -- my opinions only -- *
************************** P o/ \o N ****************************

U61...@uicvm.uic.edu

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Feb 5, 1993, 9:31:07 AM2/5/93

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ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol, ulol,

ulol....you get the picture.

JRG

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Feb 5, 1993, 10:16:09 AM2/5/93

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In article <1993Feb5.1...@odin.corp.sgi.com>, lab...@borneo.corp.sgi.com (Joel Labson) writes...
>In article <93036.083...@uicvm.uic.edu>, U61...@uicvm.uic.edu
>writes:

>|> ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol,
>|> ulol,
>|>
>|> ulol....you get the picture.

>************************************************************************
>*
>
>Who in the hell is this guy!!!!!! Get off the network!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your
>school or company is paying big buck for the network services.....please
>don't waste their money!!!!!!!!!! maybe I'll report this to DEC huh!!!!
> ^^^

Pare,

Don't need to. I work for DEC.

JR
(garc...@uswrsl.enet.dec.com)
^^^

Etcheverry Equipment Inventory

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Feb 5, 1993, 11:28:47 AM2/5/93

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In article <93036.083...@uicvm.uic.edu> U61...@uicvm.uic.edu writes:
>ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol, ulol,
>
>ulol....you get the picture.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I got the picture, I would behave like you if gone mad (ULOL) like you
weirdo...............Loony........
GET A LIFE GO CLIMB A TREE ..........
WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO DO DO DO DO..

Try to learn another word like GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG...
...............................................................................

Joel Labson

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Feb 5, 1993, 11:44:30 AM2/5/93

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In article <93036.083...@uicvm.uic.edu>, U61...@uicvm.uic.edu
writes:

|> ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol,
|> ulol,
|>
|> ulol....you get the picture.

Rick V. Martija

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Feb 5, 1993, 1:01:40 PM2/5/93

to

Joel and the decent subscribers of SCF:

Mas magaling siguroiay huwag pansinin 'yang taga UIUC na 'yan. He/She is
just calling for attention dahil kulang siya noon.

Rick
--

ri...@agate.bellcore.com

Regina Sobejana

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Feb 5, 1993, 1:52:24 PM2/5/93

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Onece there was a Parrot joke....
Then came:

From: <U61...@uicvm.uic.edu>
>ULOL!!!

...and duh uh...

From: equ...@etch-eshop.Berkeley.EDU (Etcheverry Equipment Inventory)
>In article <93034.083...@uicvm.uic.edu> <U61...@uicvm.uic.edu> writes:
>>ULOL!!!
>
>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>That's not nice..............
>Go get a LIFE!!!

...then....

From: U61...@uicvm.uic.edu
>ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol, ulol,
>
>ulol....you get the picture.

..and came another reply...

From: equ...@etch-eshop.Berkeley.EDU (Etcheverry Equipment Inventory)
>>ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol ulol only word I know sorry! Ulol, ulol,
>>
>>ulol....you get the picture.
>

>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I got the picture, I would behave like you if gone mad (ULOL) like you
>weirdo...............Loony........
>GET A LIFE GO CLIMB A TREE ..........
>WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO WEIRDO DO DO DO DO..
>
>Try to learn another word like GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG GAGO OGAG...
>...............................................................................

O..oh..it's getting infectious....! Looks like someone's having a
'parrrrot-sis' or maybe another form of psittacosis? :-)

From: lab...@borneo.corp.sgi.com (Joel Labson)
>Who in the hell is this guy!!!!!! Get off the network!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your

^^^
How d'yah know it's a guy? It's kinda hard to tell from the net.
Or maybe, it's just another psittacine trying to be "one of the guys" :-)

Sorry fellas, I just can't resist! :-)

-Ginnie

symptom of parrrrot-sis -- skin turns greenish, nose hardened and droops
like a beek, ears became enlarged like a ferrengi
and mechanically repeats or imitate words.

Sanse

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Feb 5, 1993, 2:50:18 PM2/5/93

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ri...@agate.bellcore.com (Rick V. Martija) writes:

>Joel and the decent subscribers of SCF:

>Mas magaling siguroiay huwag pansinin 'yang taga UIUC na 'yan. He/She is

^^^^

>just calling for attention dahil kulang siya noon.

Just to clarify, that person is from UIC (University of Illinois at
Chicago) *not* UIUC (U of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign), which is entirely
different. There seems to be a recurring appearance of these people.

Pero sa totoo lang, mabuti nga na huwag na lang pansinin ang mga 'yan, kahit na
kung minsan ay kumukulo ang dugo ko sa mga kabalastugan na pinapagsabi nila.
Ang gusto lang naman nila ay mapansin at maghanap ng gulo, at wala namang
talagang matinong sasabihin.
--
* MARIA EMERITA MUYOT * "Polls don't lie. *
* Department of Statistics * People do." *
* University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign * *
* Internet: m-m...@uiuc.edu * *

Joel Labson

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Feb 5, 1993, 3:00:13 PM2/5/93

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In article <1993Feb5.1...@engage.pko.dec.com>,

|>**********************************************************************
*********

I KNOW!!!!!!.................................
|>
|>
|>
|>

--
Thank You Very Much
Joel R. Labson X5852
lab...@borneo.corp.sgi.com

Estelita Aquino

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Feb 14, 1993, 10:38:50 PM2/14/93

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m-m...@uiuc.edu (Sanse) writes:

>ri...@agate.bellcore.com (Rick V. Martija) writes:

>>Joel and the decent subscribers of SCF:

>>Mas magaling siguroiay huwag pansinin 'yang taga UIUC na 'yan. He/She is
> ^^^^
>>just calling for attention dahil kulang siya noon.

>Just to clarify, that person is from UIC (University of Illinois at
>Chicago) *not* UIUC (U of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign), which is entirely
>different. There seems to be a recurring appearance of these people.

>Pero sa totoo lang, mabuti nga na huwag na lang pansinin ang mga 'yan, kahit na
>kung minsan ay kumukulo ang dugo ko sa mga kabalastugan na pinapagsabi nila.
>Ang gusto lang naman nila ay mapansin at maghanap ng gulo, at wala namang
>talagang matinong sasabihin.
>--

Totoo 'yan, may tawag sa mga ganyan "KSP" (kulang sa pansin) kaya ginagawa na lang at sinasabi maski ano para lang makatawag ng kahit konting atensiyon kaya angmga nakalalawak ang pag-iisip ay nagpapasensiya na lang - pigil ang hininga at kuyom ang kamao.