Cultural differences: Filipino versus American

[mozil]

Cultural differences: Filipino versus American

Eric Ariel Salas
Issue date: 4/29/09 Section: Opinion & Editorial

In my over two years of stay in Brookings and in my travels across the
U.S., I learned a few things Filipinos and Americans don't have in common.

In the Philippines, the family is the center of the social structure.
That includes the nuclear family - aunts, uncles, grandparents and
cousins. We have close-knit families where godparents, sponsors and
family friends are called "tito" (uncle) and "tita" (aunt). We have a
high respect for elders and high-ranking officials and we always use
"sir" or "madam" in conversations. We learn more courtesy before we are
old enough to go to school.

Not here in the U.S. A 10-year-old child can call an 80-year-old woman
by her name. Students address their gray-haired professors not by their
academic or honorific titles but by their first names.

Filipinos have a different concept of shame. We believe that we have to
live up to the societal norms of conduct, and if we fail to do so we
bring shame not only to ourselves but also upon our families.

That is why we are willing to squander more than what we can afford on a
party rather than be shamed by the financial conditions. In America,
people only spend what they can pay for. In parties I had been to, a few
drinks and a bowl of finger foods are enough to keep the partygoers
happy. A party is defined not with a food feast but bottles of beer and
tortilla chips.

Filipinos are known to be very hospitable people. We always offer the
best to our guests. If you happen to be in a Filipino house during
dining hours, expect to be invited to the family meal. Regardless of
what food we have and how much, regardless of who you are, we always
invite and share.

It is a far cry from the American culture. Most Americans do not know
the line, "Wanna share with my snacks or food?" or "Do you wanna have a
slice of this?" They just eat. Too seldom you hear an offer.

Filipino Time is the coined phrase for the embarrassing problem of
tardiness among Filipinos. We have developed this culture to arrive at
parties or events an hour or so late. It has been tested. Any American
who has been to the Philippines would say this is true. Try having an
event stating an arrival time of 1 p.m., and invited guests will start
trickling in at 2 or 3 p.m. In the United States, punctuality is so
highly esteemed that the Filipino Time appears like an eye sore.
Americans value time. Filipinos value extra time in almost everything.
(That explains why we are late all the time.) By the way, we are not
proud of it.

Americans do not visit their neighbors often and converse. Filipinos do.
We constantly stop at each other's abode to say hello and just to know
how life has been. It is fair to say that everybody knows everybody in a
town. Americans are satisfied with just mowing their lawns and
(sometimes) exchanging smiles at their neighbors.

Americans love to read during their spare time. Filipinos love to go to
"malling." While Americans bombard themselves with books, Filipinos
delight in watching movies. Promotion of reading in my country is a
problem that stares Filipinos right in the eye. With poverty becoming a
barrier for people to buy and own books, it will take ages for everyone
to see the pleasures of reading.

There are countless differences. The list is long. I will share more
once I learn more about why Americans love fast foods.

[mozil]

http://media.www.sdsucollegian.com/media/storage/paper484/news/2009/04/29/OpinionEditorial/Cultural.Differences.Filipino.Versus.American-3731314.shtml

[Joekerr]

On Jun 10, 3:06 am, mozil <mo...@yahoo.com> wrote:

A completely bogus list....

In small towns in both nations the attitudes are similar and in large
towns... in manila they have an attitude similar to LA or New
York....
as for parties... yes filipinos over do it- where as americans prefer
smaller less intense gatherings... they will share their food but only
if the feel a bond with you or you actually need it- in the phils it's
usually a rhetorical invitation- merely being polite you aren't
expected to take advantage of it (often)... parties in USA can vary
from food filled feasts to chips and beer depending on occasion- and
yes some Americans spend more than they can afford... in small towns
(or older neighborhoods) they visit those close by... in larger towns
where people have moved from those loved ones they don't- why
substitute family when you can drive over to see them? You see most
filipinos are forced to depend on extended family (cousins, uncles etc
are extended) sometimes to their detriment - aside from superficial
differences the real difference is in economics... book reading and
newspapers are dying... look at the difference in sales from 40 years
ago... TV, Movies and the internet have changed those things... in the
Philippines public libraries are insufficient or non-existent for
most... not all children address 80 year olds by their name as you
suggest it depends on location, and background... in the south the
tradition is to say Mr Joe, Miss Mary being both formal and informal
at the same time...
2 years isn't even a drop in the bucket- you have a lot to learn! Heck
even after 25 years I'm still learning about filipinos and the
Philippines LOL

[Temujin khan]

> > once I learn more about why Americans love fast foods.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

to quote an nfl coach you think you know..... hehehehehe

[Joekerr]

On Jun 12, 9:30 am, Temujin khan <carlosbongo...@aol.com> wrote:

>
> to quote  an nfl coach you think you know..... hehehehehe

you know mario guillen if you were any less intelligent you'd need
assistance just to breath!

[Dirty Sick Pig]

All very nice, fine and dandy. The point is, if Filipinos want to
require respect for the flag through legislation, and the legislature
passes such a law or constitutional amendment, then that's it.

There is no need to, and no basis, for calling it "fascism" or anything
else just because it does not conform to an immigrant/naturalized U.S.
citizen's concept of what is and what is not, specially since said
immigrant/naturalized citizen/armed forces kick-out/federal employee
having proved that he's incapable of defending the U.S. flag, much so
the Philippine flag. Filipinos have different values than Americans, as
the article emphasized, and Philippine laws must reflect these values
regardless of the opinions and practices of the rest of the world.

[anne.fr...@p3ople4u.com]

Nuclear family refers to the parents and their children. Other relatives are referred to as EXTENDED FAMILY.

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[cyphru...@gmail.com]

On Wednesday, June 10, 20016 at 3:06:05 AM UTC-4, mozil wrote:
> Cultural differences: Filipino versus American
>
> Eric Ariel Salas
> Issue date: 4/29/09 Section: Opinion & Editorial
>
> In my over two years of stay in Brookings and in my travels across the
> U.S., I learned a few things Filipinos and Americans don't have in common.
>
> In the Philippines, the family is the center of the social structure.
> That includes the nuclear family - aunts, uncles, grandparents and
> cousins. We have close-knit families where godparents, sponsors and
> family friends are called "tito" (uncle) and "tita" (aunt). We have a
> high respect for elders and high-ranking officials and we always use
> "sir" or "madam" in conversations. We learn more courtesy before we are
> old enough to go to school.

However, it is important to mention that America very much runs by the philosophy of "The blood of the covenant runs thicker than the waters of the womb."

Essentially meaning that the bonds created by choice far outweigh any familial connections. The harboring of this mentality stems from American society being extremely aware of abusive parenting, and regards that just because you are born with the same blood, it doesn't necessarily mean that your family members care about you in the way that you need.

Filipinos, lacking the resources to relocate to other families or friends with as much ease as Americans, especially due to a cultivated mistrust of anyone outside the family, are forced into a position of trying to keep their families together, regardless however potentially dysfunctional they may or may not be.

>
> Not here in the U.S. A 10-year-old child can call an 80-year-old woman
> by her name. Students address their gray-haired professors not by their
> academic or honorific titles but by their first names.
>

This is not common in most American families and of most American schooling. While a child is able to refer to their elders by their first name, it is far from the norm as the name is usually accompanied with "Grandma" or "Nani" or some other phrase regarding to their authority.

As for schooling, it's seen as flat out disrespectful to ever use your teacher's First name in a classroom setting. The common nomenclature is "Ms./Mrs./Mr./Dr./Prof.[insert last name]".

> Filipinos have a different concept of shame. We believe that we have to
> live up to the societal norms of conduct, and if we fail to do so we
> bring shame not only to ourselves but also upon our families.
>

While this is true, societal compliance can also come to the point of being detrimental to one's individual health. I've grown up along plenty of Philippine families that have been embarrassed or flat out ashamed of their children for having mental conditions or disabilities such as Aspergers and ADHD to the point of refusing to treat their children for it. (Given that the families aren't too ashamed to admit their child has the condition.)

In contrast, American culture very much encourages, and even celebrates breaks from societal norms. The strength of an individual to lavish in their own uniqueness has lead to the rise of various acceptance movements: the LGBT community, Autistic spectrum support, and heck, even adults who still play children's video games have a vast subculture where they celebrate for just being themselves.

Now I won't say this has never led to American's feeling entitled to be accepted for things that aren't socially acceptable. The fat acceptance movement, the infidelity acceptance movement, so on...

However I admit the Philippines could learn as much from America as America could from the Philippines in the shame department.

> That is why we are willing to squander more than what we can afford on a
> party rather than be shamed by the financial conditions. In America,
> people only spend what they can pay for. In parties I had been to, a few
> drinks and a bowl of finger foods are enough to keep the partygoers
> happy. A party is defined not with a food feast but bottles of beer and
> tortilla chips.
>

This standard differs from the type of celebration, and the age range of the people celebrating. While a cheap birthday is absolutely common for all ages, celebrations like weddings, baby showers, and the young adult's pool parties and Halloween parties are hardly ever barren of surplus food.

> Filipinos are known to be very hospitable people. We always offer the
> best to our guests. If you happen to be in a Filipino house during
> dining hours, expect to be invited to the family meal. Regardless of
> what food we have and how much, regardless of who you are, we always
> invite and share.
>

When mingling at another American individual's house, it is always expected of the host to offer a meal or some sort of snack to the guests, however the guest is always free to decline. "Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge," is a very typical phrase to any informal company that visits an American home. My mother almost always receives gift offers of food and wine by her clients although she cannot accept them because of her job.

> It is a far cry from the American culture. Most Americans do not know
> the line, "Wanna share with my snacks or food?" or "Do you wanna have a
> slice of this?" They just eat. Too seldom you hear an offer.
>

I assume due to the free decline rule, most American's are wary to offer out of awkwardness or not knowing you quite well enough to be sure that you'd accept. Wariness of consuming food that a stranger or acquaintance's hands have touched is a very American thing.

> Filipino Time is the coined phrase for the embarrassing problem of
> tardiness among Filipinos. We have developed this culture to arrive at
> parties or events an hour or so late. It has been tested. Any American
> who has been to the Philippines would say this is true. Try having an
> event stating an arrival time of 1 p.m., and invited guests will start
> trickling in at 2 or 3 p.m. In the United States, punctuality is so
> highly esteemed that the Filipino Time appears like an eye sore.
> Americans value time. Filipinos value extra time in almost everything.
> (That explains why we are late all the time.) By the way, we are not
> proud of it.
>

I can't really speak for or against this but here we call it being "fashionably late." It's a deceitfully polite way to state something that may be endearing or irritating depending on who the individual is and the context of the situation.

> Americans do not visit their neighbors often and converse. Filipinos do.
> We constantly stop at each other's abode to say hello and just to know
> how life has been. It is fair to say that everybody knows everybody in a
> town. Americans are satisfied with just mowing their lawns and
> (sometimes) exchanging smiles at their neighbors.

In suburbs and cities this holds true. American's are extremely wary of each other. The over consumption of TV and internet news makes us fear the possible serial killer among us.

I'm not so sure about rural areas, though I'd assume the same philosophy holds true.

>
> Americans love to read during their spare time. Filipinos love to go to
> "malling." While Americans bombard themselves with books, Filipinos
> delight in watching movies. Promotion of reading in my country is a
> problem that stares Filipinos right in the eye. With poverty becoming a
> barrier for people to buy and own books, it will take ages for everyone
> to see the pleasures of reading.
>

Ever since the rise of the internet both movies and books have melded into ease of access for anyone who can afford it. We should mention that Youtube has become bigger than anyone had ever previously imagined and has absorbed both the attention of the American and Philippine audience.

> There are countless differences. The list is long. I will share more
> once I learn more about why Americans love fast foods.

Convenience. We value time.

I would further like to explore the Philippine/American contrast involving obedience being more highly valued than intelligence. Thank you for your time.