What is a KABIT?
DawnCelia
My girlfriend and I were debating on what the difference was between a
KABIT, a mistress, and one who is having a secret or an illicit love
affair with a married person. When someone says that so-and-so is the
KABIT of so-and-so, which ones below apply?
1) she is a kept woman and that all her expenses are paid for by her
lover and in exchange she is available for any activity her lover feels
like doing at the moment with her.
2) her expenses are not paid for by her lover and they are only having a
love affair.
3) she is invited out for a good time now and then in exchange for
nocturnal activities.
4) the male lover is married and she is single.
5) (other differentiation?)
Thank you for any ideas you might share on this.
Dawn
BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
In <4sk9t4$9...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> dawn...@aol.com (DawnCelia)
writes:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(Incisions done on the epidermis, fascia, musculature & etc.)
C-U-T C-U-T C-U-T C-U-T
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>1) she is a kept woman and that all her expenses are paid for by her
>lover and in exchange she is available for any activity her lover
feels
>like doing at the moment with her.
>
>2) her expenses are not paid for by her lover and they are only
having a
>love affair.
>
>3) she is invited out for a good time now and then in exchange for
>nocturnal activities.
>
>4) the male lover is married and she is single.
>
>5) (other differentiation?)
>
>Thank you for any ideas you might share on this.
>
>Dawn
---------------------
MY TURN:
In regards to No. 1, I'd call her a KULASISI ...
In regards to No. 2, I'd call her a GIRLFRIEND/CHICKS/CHIX ...
In regards to No. 3, I'd call her a SPARE, STAND-BY, RESERVE and in
Medical parlance, as ON CALL basis ...
In regards to No. 4, iyan ang KABIT ... !!!
Now, for No. 5, eh ano kung both lovers are married (to their
respective spouses), yet for one reason or another eh they become
lovers to the exclusion of all others and without their respective
spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this KABIT-KABIT !!!
Nuances and diversity of opinions thereof appreciated and very
much welcomed ...
benjamin
bl...@ix.netcom.com
bl...@primenet.com
bl...@worldnet.att.net
rcd...@tridel.com.ph
Southern CA 92324
Tara J. Orlanes
>1) she is a kept woman and that all her expenses are paid for by her
>lover and in exchange she is available for any activity her lover
feels
>like doing at the moment with her.
>
>2) her expenses are not paid for by her lover and they are only
having a
>love affair.
>
>3) she is invited out for a good time now and then in exchange for
>nocturnal activities.
>
>4) the male lover is married and she is single.
>
>5) (other differentiation?)
>
>Thank you for any ideas you might share on this.
>
>Dawn
I think the kabit does not necessarily have to be the woman.
could not a man be the kabit of a woman who is already married (and
vise-versa?)
but the idea of associating "kabit" to a woman has something to do with the
fact that we tend to scorn more on women having an affair rather than on men
tara
DawnCelia
On 19 Jul 1996 01:39:43 GMT, bl...@ix.netcom.com (BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ )
wrote:
>Now, for No. 5, eh ano kung both lovers are married (to their respective
spouses),
>yet for one reason or another eh they become lovers to the exclusion of
all others
>and without their respective spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this
KABIT-KABIT !!!
Benjamin - your response begs another question. If both are married and
neither one depends on the other for financial support and both are in
love with each other, is the woman (or man) still referred to as the KABIT
of the other? Or maybe I should have asked my original question this way
-- when is a KABIT a KABIT?
Dawn
Jesie Tabilangan
>
> Benjamin - your response begs another question. If both are married and
> neither one depends on the other for financial support and both are in
> love with each other, is the woman (or man) still referred to as the KABIT
> of the other? Or maybe I should have asked my original question this way
> -- when is a KABIT a KABIT?
>
> Dawn
Well, I would say that one of the the Ten Commandments treats "KABIT"
system as a sin for men only. (Thou shalt not "KABIT" thy neighbors'
wife).
Jesie
Sal Estrada
In article <4smp0v$p...@dfw-ixnews5.ix.netcom.com>, BENJAMIN L.
GUADIZ (bl...@ix.netcom.co) says...
>
>Now, for No. 5, eh ano kung both lovers are married (to their
>respective spouses), yet for one reason or another eh they become
>lovers to the exclusion of all others and without their respective
>spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this KABIT-KABIT !!!
Mang Ben, in dominos (pekwa), we call this DOBLE PEKWA or KAPEKWA.
Just thought you might want to know. ;-) -Sal
Fred M. Amores
In <31eff802...@news.alt.net> Baten...@kuleleng.com (Enteng
Batengteng) writes:
>On 19 Jul 1996 07:31:01 -0400, dawn...@aol.com (DawnCelia) wrote:
>
>>On 19 Jul 1996 01:39:43 GMT, bl...@ix.netcom.com (BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ )
>>wrote:
>>
respective
>>spouses),
>>>yet for one reason or another eh they become lovers to the exclusion
of
>>all others
>>>and without their respective spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this
>>KABIT-KABIT !!!
>>
and
>>neither one depends on the other for financial support and both are
in
>>love with each other, is the woman (or man) still referred to as the
KABIT
>>of the other? Or maybe I should have asked my original question this
way
>>-- when is a KABIT a KABIT?
>>
>>Dawn
>
>
>A kabit is someone who has got an affair going with someone withouth
regards to financial
>compensation or support, and marital status.
>The affair must be somewhat long term in order for someone to be
labeled a "kabit".
>
>Back home, it is mostly the female who ends up being the "kabit" and
in most cases supported
>by the male "mangangabit", without the knowledge, of course by the
"real wife". Some even
>produce offspring (s), and raise their kids like a normal family.
>Ka Enteng
Ka Enteng,
In our country they call "mangangabit" Tomo-rotot, on other hand
Nato-rotot.O dili kaya'y Pendeho at napendeho. Ano ang say mo?
Pajaroazul
Hoy mga mare at pare. Siguro na-maxed-out ang mga definitions and we get
the general idea. Ngayon, perhaps we can move it to a different dimension
with a tag question:
What would our culture be like if the "KABIT" reality was a thing of the
past? Baka masyadong mabigat ito, pero, if you think about it, what would
you recommend to a person entering adulthood that would prevent him/her
from ever becoming a "KABIT" or "MANGANGABIT"? (in the context of how -in
our culture - sooo many people get married without knowing what it will
entail)
-Pajaro
Tom Holland
DawnCelia wrote:
>
> On 19 Jul 1996 01:39:43 GMT, bl...@ix.netcom.com (BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ )
> wrote:
>
> >Now, for No. 5, eh ano kung both lovers are married (to their respective
> spouses),
> >yet for one reason or another eh they become lovers to the exclusion of
> all others
> >and without their respective spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this
> KABIT-KABIT !!!
>
> Benjamin - your response begs another question. If both are married and
> neither one depends on the other for financial support and both are in
> love with each other, is the woman (or man) still referred to as the KABIT
> of the other? Or maybe I should have asked my original question this way
> -- when is a KABIT a KABIT?
>
> Dawn
Dawn,
I did a strictly informal survey of some Filipinas I know, ie: Vilma, Villa,
Lynne and Maria Jesusa (I did ask 2 guys but they wern't interested in
commenting.) All are native-born Filipinas now living in US. The general
consensus is that a Kabit is any woman having, a more than once, affair with
a married man. Any aspects of financial support, the marital status of
the woman, are not considered nor is the relative secrecy of the union of any
concern. Vilma would also extend it to include an unmarried couple.
<my opinion here> I am thinking that due to the prohibition of divorce in the
Philippines, and the fact that people will be people no matter what the Pope
says. Maybe the culture needed an alternate word to "wife" (in Tagalog of
course) to describe the situation. It would be interesting to find out the
derivation of the word.
Anyway, I hope this helps.
Respectfully,
Tom Holland
BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
In <31eff3d...@news.alt.net> Baten...@kuleleng.com (Enteng
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Ka Ben,
>
>OK ka talaga magpatawa, you can be serious, yet amusing.
>I couldn't have thought of it any better!
>
>Now, are you speaking from experience or what? :-))
>Biro lang po Ka Ben, he he he..........
>
>Ka Enteng
>
>
------------------------
Manong Ka Enteng,
Hmmm, ikaw naman, ako na naman ang pinuntirya mo !!! hehehe :-)
Pero, puede ba akong mag-plead ng Fifth Amendment???
Baka mabis-2 tayo eh ... !!! :-)
Fred M. Amores
In <4spct7$n...@dfw-ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> bl...@ix.netcom.com(BENJAMIN
>)
>>>>wrote:
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
> (ILOCANO "KARTIB" USED TO THE MAX !!!)
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>> Ka Enteng,
>>
>>In our country they call "mangangabit" Tomo-rotot, on other hand
>>Nato-rotot.O dili kaya'y Pendeho at napendeho. Ano ang say mo?
>>
>>
>-------------------------
>MY TURN:
>
>This clearly reminds me of an Upper Classman during the 70s at the
>Manila Sanitarium & Hospital, WHO, despite hectic schedules,
>clinical rounds, and a thick backlog of cases to be notated, STILL
>found more than enough time to ascend his ablutions and supplications
>to the "pedestal of Venus" - his enamorata.
>
>Due to frequent unexplained absences from his assigned rounds, he
>promptly earned the monicker "... Si Kuya Am*r, nan doon at siya'y
>NAMAMAYABAS na naman ... !!!"
>
>benjamin
Manong Ben and rest of the world,
My general observations about the so-called Kabits: 1. They are much
prettier and younger than the original wife. 2. They spend most of
their time in the mirror or in the beauty saloon.3. They are sensitive
and suspicious to comments about their illicit affairs. 4. They call
their partner "Asawa Ko" or Daddy. 5. Elusive and have few friends in
the neighborhood.
A short skit: Aling Kabitenya owns a taxi cab, a friend of mine asked
her if he could use her taxi franchise." Mrs. puwede po bang i-kabit
ang aking taxi?" and she replied, "Hoy! Anong kabit?" Hehhh.
Tsismosong Kabitbahay.
BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
In <4sp2gm$4...@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com> amo...@ix.netcom.com(Fred
M. Amores) writes:
>
>In <31eff802...@news.alt.net> Baten...@kuleleng.com (Enteng>>>On 19 Jul 1996 01:39:43 GMT, bl...@ix.netcom.com (BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
)
>>>wrote:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(ILOCANO "KARTIB" USED TO THE MAX !!!)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ka Enteng,
>
>In our country they call "mangangabit" Tomo-rotot, on other hand
>Nato-rotot.O dili kaya'y Pendeho at napendeho. Ano ang say mo?
>
>
-------------------------
MY TURN:
This clearly reminds me of an Upper Classman during the 70s at the
Manila Sanitarium & Hospital, WHO, despite hectic schedules,
clinical rounds, and a thick backlog of cases to be notated, STILL
found more than enough time to ascend his ablutions and supplications
to the "pedestal of Venus" - his enamorata.
Due to frequent unexplained absences from his assigned rounds, he
promptly earned the monicker "... Si Kuya Am*r, nan doon at siya'y
NAMAMAYABAS na naman ... !!!"
benjamin
Sal Estrada
In article <4sp7re$f...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, Pajaroazul
<pajar...@aol.com> says...
>
>What would our culture be like if the "KABIT" reality was a thing of the
>past? Baka masyadong mabigat ito, pero, if you think about it, what would
>you recommend to a person entering adulthood that would prevent him/her
>from ever becoming a "KABIT" or "MANGANGABIT"? (in the context of how -in
>our culture - sooo many people get married without knowing what it will
>entail)
The assumption here is that being a KABIT is not ok. There was a thread
here over a year ago that discussed the pros and cons of extramarital
affairs and it was started by a caucasian lady from the mid-west somewhere
who had fallen in love with a pinoy while on a humanitarian trip to the
Middle East. From that discussion, one could gleam that such a
relationship, illicit as it might have been in the eyes of many, did
achieve some goodness.
But your question is valid and I think before people get married, they need
to be made to face up to WHY they want to get married. It is so easy to
fall into the trap of getting married simply because all my friends or
cousins are already married, or as a ticket to a new life (away from the
boredom of living with the folks or singlehood), or worst because society
expects it of us (what will the people say?).
Having established a "correct" reason for wanting to get married, they then
need to seriously look at the person they are considering marrying and they
should face up to WHY they want to marry that particular person. And do
they accept both the person's strengths as well as weaknesses? Can they
tolerate these weaknesses for the rest of their life? Many people make a
BIG mistake of thinking they can change their partners after marriage or
that these negative traits would go away after the person "matures". It
seldom does. I also disagree that it is a spouse's role to correct or to
mold someone to an image and likeness that they have in mind. They are
marrying an equal, a partner, not some student they will be teaching nor a
child they will be rearing. For it to work, the relationship has to be an
"I'm OK, You're OK" deal.
It is very natural for people who give up on their relationship to consider
having an affair, specially in a culture that frowns on divorce or the
splitting up of the children. People have to be able to shower their love
on someone else, as well as feel loved. This is very basic. -Sal
Pedro Penduko
In article <Message-ID>
pe...@penduko.mangpedros.net (Pedro Penduko) wrote:
> In article <4snrll$o...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
> dawn...@aol.com (DawnCelia) wrote:
>
>> On 19 Jul 1996 01:39:43 GMT, bl...@ix.netcom.com (BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ )
>> wrote:
>>
>>>Now, for No. 5, eh ano kung both lovers are married (to their respective
>> spouses),
>>>yet for one reason or another eh they become lovers to the exclusion of
>> all others
>>>and without their respective spouses' knowledge??? I'd call this
>> KABIT-KABIT !!!
>>
>> Benjamin - your response begs another question. If both are married and
>> neither one depends on the other for financial support and both are in
>> love with each other, is the woman (or man) still referred to as the KABIT
>> of the other? Or maybe I should have asked my original question this way
>> -- when is a KABIT a KABIT?
>>
>> Dawn
>
> (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((+)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
When this thing happened to me, we called it each other 'soul mates'.
It shouldn't even be in this 'kabit' category. It is a beautiful thing and
everybody should experience this feeling, (this concept of 'soul mate')
once in a lifetime. Twice if you are lucky!
PP
- - -
My views are mine alone,
the corporation I work for
has nothing to do about it!
A.Jante
Sal Estrada wrote:
<snipped some very good advice on how to keep a marriage whole
and avoid the "kabit" syndrome>
How true. It all boils down to commitment. How much do you value
your integrity in honoring your commitment to your spouse?
Plus it always helps to look your spouse straight in the eye
and sweetly say "Dearest, you know that if I ever catch you
fooling around I'm going to shoot you." He he he.
Alyn
DawnCelia
On 22 Jul 1996 17:25:31 GMT, pe...@penduko.mangpedros.net (Pedro Penduko)
wrote:
>When this thing happened to me, we called it each other 'soul mates'.
>It shouldn't even be in this 'kabit' category. It is a beautiful thing
and
>everybody should experience this feeling, (this concept of 'soul mate')
>once in a lifetime. Twice if you are lucky!
Thank you Pedro. I think this is exactly what I was looking for and
somehow it also did not fit my understanding of the term KABIT. You have
confirmed this for me in terms I am sure my friend can understand.
I would like to thank everyone who contributed their thoughts on this and
I specially appreciate Benjamin's humorous yet accurate breakdown of the
possibilities. You guys are really great!
Dawn
babyba...@gmail.com
villanue...@gmail.com
April Dawn
> My girlfriend and I were debating on what the difference was between a
> KABIT, a mistress, and one who is having a secret or an illicit love
> affair with a married person. When someone says that so-and-so is the
> KABIT of so-and-so, which ones below apply?
> lover and in exchange she is available for any activity her lover feels
> like doing at the moment with her.
> 2) her expenses are not paid for by her lover and they are only having a
> love affair.
> 3) she is invited out for a good time now and then in exchange for
> nocturnal activities.
> 4) the male lover is married and she is single.
> 5) (other differentiation?)
> Thank you for any ideas you might share on this.
> Dawn
Good Day Lady Dawn Celia,
I love your question, it makes me think of a Lovely man, a man who I suppose is married, in New Jersey. He came to the end of the boardwalk with a cigar in his hand. We both stopped, looked at one another, felt good, and dove into the water. I Love it there. It's where our Ancestors met. Then, I think we fell in love again as Grandparents. If come to the entire family, as a beautiful Angels, yes full of Many Grandmother's I remember, All but six, I think I've known, to be "my own". I LOVE Grandmothers! They Thrill Me! The stories, the laughter, their insights. My very own Grandmother was put through A LOT of pain, and she was Saintly, she didn't deserve that sort of treatment, and then to make it "appear" that She did something wrong. Anyhow, I graced He and His Very Large and Absolutely Beautiful Family, because they know how to protect their Love, and I kissed everyone if them on the tops of their heads and told them how much I Love them. That's the Spirit we hold in to, just not the way anymore. We are at a moment in Time, which thank you to Dennis Butler, my best friend in middle school, I let him know I couldn't be with him anymore. I think it broke his Heart. He came to me within two weeks after he died. He stopped time for me, and waited. He Understood, but could stand the pain nonetheless, that I am due for greatness in this world. One that can be a Leader, when it comes to thinking quickly, paying attention, all of that Good stuff, but I'm not perfect, but I do have a lot of Ideas to share, some less Wight, and yes I spelled that correctly, W I G H T . . . Mikie Sherrill Is a Beautiful Woman, I have Faith in Her, as a Woman, as a Leader someday. We're not quite to that point yet. We have much to fix, in the thinking of Mankind, and naturally cleansed Heart leads to a Naturally Cleansed Mind leads to a Truly Clean Soul which allows for an awakened Spirit to Lead the Way in This Path to a Brighter Future. I Know the Way. It's through Education. That's the only thing we Truly Care about, right?, So, let's all Come Together as One Whole and yes I spelled that correctly too, W H O L E . . . to discuss How we will Go About Fixing this World to be Most Loving, without all of the Sinister Bullshit, please. Let's do it for Our Grandmother's, the Men have already Fucked Shit Up in the World, LOLOL🦋 Let's Fix it Together. I've Never meant any disrespect for any wrong you may have felt from me, I am a W I G H T who finds it very difficult to "contain" herself sometimes, most times, preferably all the time, Alive, mind you, as I have Always Had Great Respect for Grandmothers, I'm thinking that if I had been there more for my friend in high school, Kelly Mullins. She was with a Horrible Man, who cheated around, and flaunting how much money he had. Big Whoop. I'm sorry, but he was an Asshole, he even bought her the donkey for her to take care of, and abused her, in probably horrible ways. He even repeatedly felt the need to snarlingly tell me that he "even thinks" she's a Lesbian. He was fucking his Daughter's Best Friends in all of that shit. I think she even has something going on with her, in her brain. Men can't treat Women like that. It's Just Not. We All must fight for that, as Spirited Beings reaching for the literal Stars. Not as Privileged or Non-privileged, but As Souls, who Remember All things. The Only Way to fix That is in the Department Of Education, and I want to be the President.
I Love You Dawn Celia,
God Bless Us All!
April Dawn