!! FILIPINO JOKES !!
Pure Pinoy
ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
THANX
Ron O Ablang
: HI EVERYONE.....
: ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
: IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
There's a couple on my home page.
--
"It's like an insatiable drive, like a pressure that
is always on me. Sometimes I can push it off, but
eventually I feel driven to repeat this thing over
and over."
http://gaia.ecs.csus.edu/~ablangr (Main Page)
http://www.studentaccess.com/hp/ABLANG
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/3997
http://www.lookup.com/Homepages/100460/home.html
http://www.tripod.com/userland/A/ablang/index.html (Adult)
Romeo Arenzana
"Balang araw maghihiganti ako sa iyo, walang utang na loob!"?
"Bullet day I will giant you, no credit inside!"
Ano sa chinese ang Washington?
To-shing-wa. (Put a high intonation on "wa" para nakakatawa)
Ano sa chinese ang sira-ulo?
Wang Boo.
Ano naman sa chinese ang hindi na virgin?
Wang Lu.
Use 'parachute' in a sentence.
Honey, huwag kang malikot parachute.
Paano mo itatanong sa japanese kung kotse niya yun?
Otomoto?
Japanese ng 'guwapo'?
Kamukaku.
Japanese ng 'pangit'?
Kamukamo.
Paano mo kikilitiin ang japanese car?
Kutsi kutsiku!
Use 'forfeit' in a sentence.
Adidas is forfeit.
Use 'contemplate' in a sentence.
There's lots of food but contemplate.
Use 'devastation' in a sentence.
I waited for the bus at devastation.
Use 'curtain' and 'kitchen' in the same sentence.
Aray, huwag mo kong curtain, masa kitchen.
Use 'Toronto' in a sentence.
Oy, hindi lumpia ito, toronto.
Heard about the black guy who had a Mexican restaurant?
Yea, he named it Nacho Mama.
Heard about the lawyer who had a Japanese restaurant?
Yea, he named it Suzumi.
P.S. The last two weren't Filipino jokes suzumi.
--
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
CHCastro
>From: TQF...@prodigy.com (Pure Pinoy)
>Subject: !! FILIPINO JOKES !!
>HI EVERYONE.....
>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
> THANX
---------------------------------------------------
Visit Phoebe Parrone's wonderful page at:
http://www.pitt.edu/~filipina/collect.html
and Nestor de Guzman's page at:
Romeo Arenzana
pinakamatigas sa isang nayon. Ang pagsubok ay may tatlong steps:
1. Uminom ng isang galon na shoktong;
2. Yumari ng ita; at ang huli ay
3. Pumatay ng tamaraw.
So si Juan ay nagyabang at madali lang raw iyon. Pero hindi siya
pumasa dahil pagkainom niya ng shoktong, pinatay niya ang ita at
niyari niya ang tamaraw!
P.S. Halata bang recycled?
Gus Pineda
aren...@angelo.amd.com (Romeo Arenzana) wrote:
>Ano sa english ang:
>"Balang araw maghihiganti ako sa iyo, walang utang na loob!"?
>
>
>"Bullet day I will giant you, no credit inside!"
>
>Ano sa chinese ang Washington?
>
>
>To-shing-wa. (Put a high intonation on "wa" para nakakatawa)
>
>Ano sa chinese ang sira-ulo?
>
>
>Wang Boo.
>
>Ano naman sa chinese ang hindi na virgin?
>
>
>Wang Lu.
>
>Use 'parachute' in a sentence.
>
>
>Honey, huwag kang malikot parachute.
>
>Paano mo itatanong sa japanese kung kotse niya yun?
>
>
>Otomoto?
>
>Japanese ng 'guwapo'?
>
>
>Kamukaku.
>
>Japanese ng 'pangit'?
>
>
>Kamukamo.
>
>Paano mo kikilitiin ang japanese car?
>
>
>Kutsi kutsiku!
>
>Use 'forfeit' in a sentence.
>
>
>Adidas is forfeit.
PAMPERS VS PAPERS
a guy went to the gas station and asked the lady:
"Miss, do i pampers or do i papers?"!!!
ngwek, ngwek, ngwek...
gaz
Rex R. Skievaski
A: A pair of pliers!
Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
Nestor de Guzman
Did you know that "passing the buck" started with Adam and Eve ?
Genesis, the first book of the Bible , records that Adam was asked
whether he had eaten the fruit of the forbidden tree in the garden of
Paradise.
"The woman who was supposed to be my companion made me do it," replied
Adam.
Then Eve was asked whether that statement was true. "The snake in the
grass made me do it," answered the woman.
Then the snake was asked for a confirmation.
"Oh, it was the devil who made me do it," hissed the serpent.
However, the snake fail to realize that the buck stopped with it. So,
the following decision was inevitable:
"Wherefore, in view of the foregoing," the judgement read, "the snake
shall forever crawl on its belly and thereafter shall be transformed
into belts, wallets, handbags and boot !"
Gus Pineda
nest...@bpserv.com (Nestor de Guzman) wrote:
>rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>
>>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>
>>A: A pair of pliers!
>
>>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>>
>>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>>
>>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
--
o heto...
use "guava" in a sentence...
>Bagong gupit ako. Masaguava?!!!
ngwek, ngwek, ngwek...
gaz
Nestor de Guzman
>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>A: A pair of pliers!
>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>
>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>
>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>>
>> THANX
>>
Isa pa...
Ano sa Intsek (Chinese) ?
Ang pinaka mahirap na tao ?..........Bulag....Bakit....."wala kita"
Ang pinaka mayaman na tao ? .........Bomba star ........"Kita lahat"
4 Guys trying to impress each other:
Ano ang trabaho mo sabi noong isa :
sagot ng isa sa "PAL".........Palamunin
sagot ng pangalawa "ako sa "PNB" ........Parating Nasa Bahay
Sagot ng pangatlo "ako sa "IBM"........Istambay Buong Maghapon
Daig ko kayo sabi ng pang-apat "ako anim ang trabaho
ko.....Anim-ployed
hehehehehe
Hangang sa muli
Mario Latumbo
>rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>>A: A pair of pliers!
>>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>>
>>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>>
>>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>>>
>>> THANX
>>>
Here's one:
Three friends went out to watch a movie. Isang bulag, isang bingi,
at isang duling. Let's find out what happened.
Bulag: BOOO!!! BOOO!!! Puro sound, walang picture. BOOOO!!!
Bingi: BOOO!!! BOOO!!! Puro picture, walang sound. BOOOO!!!
Duling: Hoy, magsitahimik nga kayong dalawa. Kita nyong ang
ganda ng palabas. Double-feature pa... (Ngek)
Eto pa ang isa.
Isang ngongo ang sumakay sa taksi.
Ngongo:"Mama, nuun mu nayo sa Ngulnyural Center Om
na Milimins".
Naintindihan naman po ng kawawang drayber.
Pero nang nasa Cultural Center of the Philippines na sila
ay hindi huminto ang drayber at idineretso sa Folk Arts Theater.
Ngongo:"Anak ng P..., sami ngo Ngulnyural Center indi
Mok Arts Nyeter. Mangit mo ango iminara nyito?"
Drayber:"Yan ang mangay sa yo. Nilolongo mo ngasi ango,eh."
Ngongo rin pala ang drayber.
Nestor de Guzman
>Here's one:
>Eto pa ang isa.
Talking about duling, here's one more...
May isang driver ng jeep, duling, kaya yong isang pasahero, kulang ang
perang pambayad: eto ang nangyari
Pasahero : "Boss magkano ang pasahe ?
Driver : Dalawang piso ho !
Ang pasahero Piso lang ang pera, pero nakita niya duling ang driver
kaya eto ang ginawa....
Pasahero : Eto boss ang pasahe ko.... at bababa na...
Diver : Mama kulang yong binayad mo !
Pasahero : Bakit magkano ba ang binigay ko sa iyo,
Diver : Dalawang Piso ho,
Pasahero : Ganoon naman pala eh, ano ang nirereklamo mo !
Driver : Paano dalawa po kayo eh !!!!!
Hindi nakalusot .......................
http://www.bpserv.com/nestor/
Erwin Paguio
Here's are three jokes. I'm not good in this so please bear with me... :-)
Tatlong klase lang naman ang tao dito sa mundo: 'yung marunong magbilang at
'yung hindi marunong magbilang! (hehehe :-)
Pero, usually, dalawang klase lang naman 'yung tao sa mundo: 'yung nanloloko at
'yung nagpapaloko.... saka 'yung hindi marunong magbilang :-)
YO!
Erwin
--
Erwin D. Paguio
http://rh.iist.unu.edu/~ep/ydeeps.htm
Pascal and ASM Enthusiast
allen
oKaY------> uSe tHe nAmE "pAuL" fIvE (5) tImEs iN a SentEncE...?? gIvE
Up??
pAuL, bEcArEpAuL U mIgHt pAuL iN thE pOlL...!!
Bambam Q.
>
> rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>
> >Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>
> >A: A pair of pliers!
>
> >Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
> >>
> >>HI EVERYONE.....
> >>
> >>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
> >>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
> >>
> >> THANX
> >>
O sige na nga. Sali na rin ako...
MANG TASYO - Part I
-------------------
Si Mang Tasyo, isang prubinsyano ang napunta sa Maynila. Gutom na gutom siya
kaya't pumasok sa isang retaurant. Ngunit hindi ito marunong mag-order ng
pagkain...
Mang Tasyo: Nakaw! Ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa ristawran. Ano ba ang
kinakain dito.
(May taong umupo sa kabilang mesa...)
Mang Tasyo: Alam ko na. Gagayahin ko na lang ang sabihin nitong nasa kabila.
Customer: Waiter! Waiter! (Dumating ang waiter...)
Mang Tasyo: Ahh...Waiter! Waiter! (Dumating ang isa pang waiter...)
Customer: Ready na po ako. Umpisahan po natin sa isang order ng Tsitsarong
Bulaklak...
Mang Tasyo: Ahh...Waiter...Tsitsarong Bulaklak ho!
(Napatingin yung customer...)
Customer: Isang order din ng Sinigang na Baboy....
Mang Tasyo: Ahh...Waiter...Sinigang na Baboy!
(Napatingin uli yung customer...)
Customer: Waiter, dalhan mo rin ako ng Tapsilog at San Miguel Beer...
Mang Tasyo: Waiter, Tapslog at San Miguel Beer!
Customer: (sa sarili) Teka... niloloko 'ata ako nito.
(sa waiter) Boss. Pakidalhan n'yo rin po ako ng isang Hot Towel...
Mang Tasyo: Waiter, Hot Towel nga!
Customer: (Galit na kay Tasyo) Hoy! Nanloloko ka ba?! Bakit ginagaya mo ang
lahat ng order ko?!!!
Mang Tasyo: Bakit? Ikaw lang ba ang marunong kumain ng HOT TOWEL?!!!
^^^^^^^^^
NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!!! Har-Dee-har-har!!! (canned laughter)
MANG TASYO - Part II
--------------------
Si Mang Tasyo, gutom na naman. Lumapit siya sa isang kaibigan...
Mang Tasyo: Pareng Kepweng, gusto kong mag-almusal sa ristawran diyan sa
tabi, pero hindi ako marunong mag-order. Turuan mo naman ako.
Mang Kepweng: P're, madali lang 'yan. Pagdating ng waiter ito lang ang
sabihin mo : "Apple Pie, Hot coffee."
Mang Tasyo: Apol Pay, Hat kopi? O sige, masubukan nga.
(Pagdating sa resaurant...)
Mang Tasyo: Waiter!
Waiter: Yes, sir. What is your order?
Mang Tasyo: Apol Pay, Hat kopi!
(Nakaraan ang tatlong linggo...)
Mang Tasyo: Pareng Kepweng, ayos yung tinuro mo sa akin. Kaso, nagsasawa
na ako at talong linggo nangg Apol Pay, Hat kopi ang
kinakain ko. Turuan mo naman ako ng iba.
Mang Kepweng: O sige. Ito naman ang subukan mo. Ang i-oreder mo ay "Ham and
Eggs."
(Bumalik sa restaurant si Mang Tasyo...)
Mang Tasyo: Waiter!
Waiter: What is your order sir?
Mang Tasyo: Ham en Eggs!
Waiter: Good choice sir! How would you like your eggs?
Mang Tasyo: Ha? Ah...eh...ah...
Waiter: How would you like your eggs?
Mang Tasyo: ...ah...eh...ah... Apol Pay, Hat Kopi!!!!
Ngwek-ngwek-ngwek!!!!
O kayo naman!!!
--
~ ~
====================(.)(.)=============================================
( ('') )
Bambam Quimson ~~
http://www.hooked.net/users/amdg85/mainbam.html (My HP)
http://www.hooked.net/users/amdg85/ncalumni.html (Ateneo Alumni of N.Ca.)
http://www.hooked.net/users/amdg85/light.html (L.I.G.H.T. on the Web)
"To give and not to count the cost..."
-St. Ignatius of Loyola
zackc
: Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
: A: A pair of pliers!
: Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
: >
: >HI EVERYONE.....
: >
: >ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
: >IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
: >
: > THANX
: >
Q: What do you call a Filipino contortionist?
A: A Manila folder.
Paul Abrilla
Plane's Always Late, If Not Cancelled
Paul
Erwin Paguio
Okay 'yang mga ngongo jokes...
Eto pa isa:
May isang mama ang nagpa-park sa may Makati. Tinutulungan s'ya ng isang ngongo
at sinasabi n'ya kung babangga na 'yung kotse sa likuran habang pa-atras.
Eniwey, ina-atras nga 'yung kotse at sabi ng ngongo "aasya! aasya!". Ang
pagkaka-intindi ng mama ay kakasya kaya atras pa rin s'ya. Pag-atras...
"BAGGG!!!" -- bumanga 'yung likuran. Sabi ng ngongo, 'abi nang may aasya eh...'
(sabi nang may akasya eh... :-)
YO!
Mario Latumbo
>rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>>A: A pair of pliers!
>>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>>
>>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>>
>>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>>>
>>> THANX
>>>
Here's one more that's always a hit.
Three men (Pedro, Juan at Jose) were found guilty of rape. But the
judge gave them a lighter sentence and not the death penalty.
Judge: Magsilabas kayo at magsikuha ng tig-iisang prutas.
Tapos ay bumalik kayo dito.
Unang bumalik si Jose at may dala-dalang malaking saging.
Judge: Sige, Ipasok mo iyan sa puwet mo.
At ang kawawang Jose ay tuluyan na pong napaiyak sa sakit. Saka naman
pumasok si Juan na may dala-dalang papaya.
Judge: Sige, Ipasok mo iyan sa puwet mo.
Ang kawawang Juan ay walang nagawa kundi sumunod subalit imbes na
umiyak sa sakit ay tumawa pa ng tumawa. Nagtaka ang lahat dahil dapat
ay umiiyak na siya sa sakit pero tawa pa rin nang tawa.
Judge: Bakit ka ba tawa nang tawa? Hindi ka ba nasasaktan?
Halos hindi makapagsalita si Juan sa kakatawa sabay turo sa parating
nang si Pedro na may buhat-buhat na napakalaking langka. (Aruy)
Mario Latumbo
>rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>>A: A pair of pliers!
>>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>>
>>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>>
>>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>>>
>>> THANX
>>>
pahabol pa
a scene during the time of Waway, public enemy no.1
"Waway! Sumuko ka na. Wala ka nang kawala!"
"Hindi, hindi ako susuko!"
"Waway, sumuko ka na sabi! Napaliligiran na kita!!"
"Hindi! Hindi pa rin ako susuko!"
"Waway! Bakit ba ayaw mong sumuko?"
"Hindi ako si Waway, gago!"
Enteng Batengteng
O sige na nga, meron din ako'ng isa.
Papa'no daw sasabihin ng ngongo ang the following:
"Pagtayo ng testigo, kay Susan tayo" . :-)
Ka Enteng
Nestor de Guzman
>nest...@bpserv.com (Nestor de Guzman) wrote:
>>rex...@ix.netcom.com(Rex R. Skievaski ) wrote:
>>>Q: What do you call two Philippine Airline pilots?
>>>A: A pair of pliers!
>>>Does PAL mean Plane's always late? or Prompt at last?
>>>>
>>>>HI EVERYONE.....
>>>>
>>>>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>>>>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>>>>
>>>> THANX
>>>>
>Here's one more that's always a hit.
>Three men (Pedro, Juan at Jose) were found guilty of rape. But the
>judge gave them a lighter sentence and not the death penalty.
>Judge: Magsilabas kayo at magsikuha ng tig-iisang prutas.
> Tapos ay bumalik kayo dito.
>Unang bumalik si Jose at may dala-dalang malaking saging.
>Judge: Sige, Ipasok mo iyan sa puwet mo.
>At ang kawawang Jose ay tuluyan na pong napaiyak sa sakit. Saka naman
>pumasok si Juan na may dala-dalang papaya.
>Judge: Sige, Ipasok mo iyan sa puwet mo.
>Ang kawawang Juan ay walang nagawa kundi sumunod subalit imbes na
>umiyak sa sakit ay tumawa pa ng tumawa. Nagtaka ang lahat dahil dapat
>ay umiiyak na siya sa sakit pero tawa pa rin nang tawa.
>Judge: Bakit ka ba tawa nang tawa? Hindi ka ba nasasaktan?
>Halos hindi makapagsalita si Juan sa kakatawa sabay turo sa parating
>nang si Pedro na may buhat-buhat na napakalaking langka. (Aruy)
dagdagan natin eto pa:
Three men at the gate of heaven Kano, Pinoy at Itim......
Kano to St. Peter : Is there prejudism in Heaven ?
St Peter: of course not, as a matter of fact the if you can only spell
your home free.
Kano : OK , what the question ?
St. Peter : Spell "God"
Kano : " G-O-D"
St. Peter: you see no prejudism, right ? you may now enter the gate of
heaven..
St Peter: Next
Pinoy : San Pedro , ang balita ko prejudice daw sa langit, totoo ba ?
San Pedro : Hindi, kung marunong kang mag ispell, pasado ka tiyak, eto
ang tanong, Spell "Angel"
Pinoy: A-N-G-E-L
San Pedro : Tama, pasok na, next....
Itim: Hey Pete, wasssuppp, is there prejudism in heaven ?
St. Pete : of course none, bro, you see if you can spell, your in...
Itim: I'm ready
St. Pete : Ok Spell Chekoslovakia,
Itim: Boy kinda hard....
St. Pete: that's not all have to be backwards.....
Joke lang, no offense
Nestor de Guzman
http://www.bpserv.com/nestor/
MMedina102
Paguio) writes:
>Okay 'yang mga ngongo jokes...
Ngongo joke pa rin.
Sino sa inyo ang nakakatanda duon sa "continental style' na pananamit na
nauso nuong early sixty's? Para duon sa inyo na musmos pa nuong sixty's
at hindi alam kung ano yung continental style, eh yun bang may mga "V"
slit o gatla sa mga manggas, bulsa at magkabilang side ng shirt-jack na
polo shirt. Sa pantalon naman ay may magkabilang slit sa laylayan.
Shoe-shine boy sa ngongo habang itinuturo yung gatla sa manggas ng shirt
ng ngongo: "Ano ang tawang diyan?" Sagot ng ngongo: "Ngon-inen-al".
Shineboy sa ngongo habang itinuturo yung slit sa bulsa ng shirt ng ngongo:
"Ano ang tawag diyan?" Sagot ng ngongo: "Ngon-inen-al ma rin."
Shineboy: "Eh ano naman ang tawag mo diyan?" ...habang itinuturo yung
slit sa nguso nuong ngongo. Sagot ng ngongo: "ANG MUNANG-INA MO".
Mar :-)
Gus Pineda
--
dagdagan natin:
si aling ngongo, sumakay sa bus. nung malapit na sa bababaan niya, sabi:
"'ama, ma-a". Aba, lalong bumilis yung bus! Sabi uli "'Ama, ma-a". Bumilis
lalo yung bus!!! Naawa yung katabi ng ngongo, kaya sinabi sa driver "Mama,
para raw sabi ng Ale". ... tapos sabi ng driver "O, aala o iloloko 'ang
ako!!"!!!!
..ngwek, ngwek, ngwek...!
gaz
AC Cabanayan
>
> --
> dagdagan natin:
>
> si aling ngongo, sumakay sa bus. nung malapit na sa bababaan niya, sabi:
> "'ama, ma-a". Aba, lalong bumilis yung bus! Sabi uli "'Ama, ma-a". Bumilis
> lalo yung bus!!! Naawa yung katabi ng ngongo, kaya sinabi sa driver "Mama,
> para raw sabi ng Ale". ... tapos sabi ng driver "O, aala o iloloko 'ang
> ako!!"!!!!
> ..ngwek, ngwek, ngwek...!
> gaz
Eto naman, pero hindi ngongo joke.....
Meron daw nagbakasyong tatay ni Maria dito sa tate....so, kinaumagahan,
gaya sa Pinas, lumabas ng bahay si Mang Ambo at nag-papahangin. Nakita
siya ng kapit-bahay nina Maria at ang
sabi: "Oh, you must be Maria's dad vacationing here in California."
Mang Ambo: "Oh, yes!"
Kapit-bahay: "So, how do you like it here?"
Mang Ambo: "Oh, not much!"
Kapit-bahay: "Why not?"
Mang Ambo: "There are more neighbors to see back home at this time of
day."
Kapit-bahay: "What do you usually do at this time of day in the
Philippines?"
Mang Ambo: "At this time of day, I used to take my cock out, massage my
cock, and then my neighbor friend would come out, he takes
his cock out and massage his cock, and we would have a
cock-fight."
The Kapit-bahay suddenly dissappeared and apparently fainted!
heheheheheh! I'm not saying anything bad here, am I?
Enteng Batengteng
<aur...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>Meron daw nagbakasyong tatay ni Maria dito sa tate....so, kinaumagahan,
>gaya sa Pinas, lumabas ng bahay si Mang Ambo at nag-papahangin. Nakita
>siya ng kapit-bahay nina Maria at ang
> sabi: "Oh, you must be Maria's dad vacationing here in California."
> Mang Ambo: "Oh, yes!"
> Kapit-bahay: "So, how do you like it here?"
> Mang Ambo: "Oh, not much!"
> Kapit-bahay: "Why not?"
> Mang Ambo: "There are more neighbors to see back home at this time of
> day."
> Kapit-bahay: "What do you usually do at this time of day in the
> Philippines?"
> Mang Ambo: "At this time of day, I used to take my cock out, massage my
> cock, and then my neighbor friend would come out, he takes
> his cock out and massage his cock, and we would have a
> cock-fight."
> The Kapit-bahay suddenly dissappeared and apparently fainted!
>
>
>heheheheheh! I'm not saying anything bad here, am I?
>
Ho ho ho ho ho, Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha LOL. ROLF. ISK
This is a real good one, and no you're not saying anything bad because
we know exactly what Mang Ambo is talking about. :-)))))
Ka Enteng
ned...@interserv.com
This one's a true story:
A friend of mine (DANNY BANABAN), was applying for a job
with a warehousing company. The company had openings for
sales, receiving, packing, and shipping. He had called and was
on hold for personnel. Let's pick-up the conversation.
Personnel: Yes! Hello! This is personnel. How can I help you?
Danny: (not minding his p's and f's - a common filipino slip)
: Yes! I would like to apply for a facking job.
(I know! I know! I know! Keep my day job!)
Ned
Ben T
>4 Guys trying to impress each other:
>Ano ang trabaho mo sabi noong isa :
>sagot ng isa sa "PAL".........Palamunin
>sagot ng pangalawa "ako sa "PNB" ........Parating Nasa Bahay
>Sagot ng pangatlo "ako sa "IBM"........Istambay Buong Maghapon
>Daig ko kayo sabi ng pang-apat "ako anim ang trabaho
>ko.....Anim-ployed
Yung pang-lima "Chemist"..........Chemisis uma-asa
Ben
>
BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
MY TURN: A Bystander ...
While the above-mentioned were at it, a bystander interjected ...
Siya daw PO ay isang "BSN" .............. BUHAY SA NURSE !!!
pero may sakit siyang "ASTHMA" .......... ASK MY WIFE !!!
(Nurse po kasi yung misis niya)
benjamin
bl...@ix.netcom.com
bl...@primenet.com
Don Corleone
says...
Okay i got one:
The was a ship wreck and only 4 people left in a small lifeboat, a
pinoy, a kano, a german and a kastila.
the lifeboat was so little that one of them have to jump out of the
lifeboat so..
the kano said "if no one of us will jump out, then we will all die" so,
the kano stood up and said "Long Live America" then jumped out of the
lifeboat. he got eaten by the sharks and died right away.
but the lifeboat was still overcrowded, so the kastila stood up and
said "Viva La Spania" then jumped and was eaten by the sharks.
only the pinoy and the german was left but still one of them have to
jump. the german stood up but pinoy stopped him. and pinoy said no
dont do that.
then pinoy stood up and said "Mabuhay Ang Pilipino" then kicked the
german out of the lifeboat!
So, mabuhay ang pilipino!
hehehehee!
Suzanne R Aquino
JOKES !! by Don Corleone@cyberramp.n
>
> The was a ship wreck and only 4 people left in a small lifeboat, a
> pinoy, a kano, a german and a kastila.
>
> the lifeboat was so little that one of them have to jump out of the
> lifeboat so..
>
> the kano said "if no one of us will jump out, then we will all die" so,
> the kano stood up and said "Long Live America" then jumped out of the
> lifeboat. he got eaten by the sharks and died right away.
>
> but the lifeboat was still overcrowded, so the kastila stood up and
> said "Viva La Spania" then jumped and was eaten by the sharks.
>
> only the pinoy and the german was left but still one of them have to
> jump. the german stood up but pinoy stopped him. and pinoy said no
> dont do that.
>
> then pinoy stood up and said "Mabuhay Ang Pilipino" then kicked the
> german out of the lifeboat!
>
> So, mabuhay ang pilipino!
>
> hehehehee!
>
> http://www.dfwfoodnet.com
>
o, sige na, na-totoyo din ako sa ulo -
along the same lines -
(sorry kung yung mga spelling ko mali - matagal na akong hindi nagsulat
ng tagalog:)
sila Juan, Pedro, at si Bobot ay pumunta sa mga mountains para
mag-camping. hindi nila kinalalaman (sp?) na may mga cannibal pala
doon. nung gumabi na, ay inambush ng mga canibal itong tatlo. tinali
sila isat isa sa puno. at nagumpisa kay Juan. kinain siya ng mga
canibal at yung balat niya ay ginamit na coating para sa bangka na
ginagawa nung canibal. ang takot nila Pedro at Bobot sa pag-kakita
dito. panay ang sigaw ni Pedro nung siya naman ang tinangal ng talian
para kainin at kunin din ang balat. nag-isip ng husto itong si Bobot.
"ano ang gagawin ko! diyos ko, ano ang gagawin ko!" maya-maya, sabi
niya, "ah, alam ko na". Nung si Bobot na ang tinatangalan ng tali, ay
bigla siyang tumalon at nakawala, yung mga canibal ay lumigid na sa
kanya. kinuha ni Bobot ang isang kutsilyo a panay sinaksak ang sarili
niya, sabi niya "yan, puro butas na ako, hindi n'yo na ako pwedeng gawin
bangka, lunod kayo!"
morbi ba?
Suz
Suzanne R Aquino
SI JUAN AT ANG TATLONG HOPIA NIYA:
isang araw, si Juan ay naglalakad, nang naka-tagpo siya ng lamp sa
kalye. sabi niya, "wow, parang alladin's lamp siguro 'to!" at sabay
kiniskis yung lamp. maraming usok at biglang labas ang genie of the
lamp. sabi nong genie kay Juan, "kasi ako ay tinangal mo sa
pagka-bilango ko, ay bibigyan kita ng tatlong hiling". "Wow, okay!",
sabi ni Juan. sabi naman nung genie:"pero bilisan mo, nag-mamadali kasi
ako eh". de nag isip mabilis si Juan.
"o, sige, tatlong hopia nga."
JUAN, PEDRO, AT BOBOT, STRANDED ON AN ISLAND:
sila Juan, Pedro, at Bobot ay na stranded sa isang island. after days
na silang nag hihintay at nag-dedeydrate, ay may bottle na na-agos sa
kanilang island. pag-bukas nung tatlo, may genie na lumabas. sabi nung
genie, "because you have freed me, i will give each of you a wish."
agos ng kasayahan ang tatlo. na una si Juan "I wish to get off of this
island, back to a big house with lots of money and my beautiful wife"
*poof* nawala na si Juan. si Pedro naman ang sumunod, "I wish to get
off of this island and get back to a big condo with lots of money so I
never have to work again" *poof* nawala din si Pedro. ngayon, ay iisang
naiwan na si Bobot, malungkot ang mukha. sabi nong genie, "o, Bobot,
turn mo na mag-wish. ano ang hiling mo", malungkot, ang sabi naman ni
Bobot "ay, mag-isa nalang ako dito, sana may kasama na man ako" *poof*
biglang nag-appear uli sina Juan at Pedro! :P
HERCULES' HORSE: (pasensya, medjo green ito, kay?)
Meron isang mama na pangalan ay Juan. Yagit na kakwawa itong si Juan.
At pang dag-dag pa sa kanyang pagka pobre, ay napaka-pangit niyang
lalaki. Napaka-pangit niya na ang nanay lang niya ang makamahal sa
kanya (a face only a mother could love). Pero, kahit na pangit na, at
pobre pa itong si Juan, ay maganda ang puso niya.
Isang araw, naglalakad si Juan, at sa kalye, meron siyang nakita na
na-aksidente. walan tumutulong. na awa si Juan sa mama, at tinulungan
niya. Nung gising nung mama, ay sinabi niya ka Juan, "good samaritan"
(parang balikbayan), "good samaritan, since you have the golden heart
and kindness enough to help a stranded stranger, i shall reward you! I
am a genie and will grant you three wishes."
Excited na excited si Juan. Sabi niya, "Wow, hindi na ako pobre!!
Sisimoy na ang hangin sa buhay ko!! Hindi na ako yagit!!" At nag
umpisa siyang mag isip ng wish.
"Ang unang hiling ko, ay maging mayaman - pinakamayaman na tao, na may
malaking bahay at maraming pera!" *poof* may malaking mansion na
nag-appear. "Your wish is granted," sabi nung genie.
"Ang ikalawa kong hiling, ay akong magin guapo - pinaka guapong lalaki,
para naman may ma-in love sa-akin!" *poof* "This wish is also granted,"
sabi nung genie. Wow, naging kamuka ni Tom Cruise si Juan - mas guapo
pa, take note.
"hum," Isip si Juan. "What is your third wish?" tanong nung genie.
"Ang ikatatlong hiling ko, ay, . . ay maging malaki sa, alam mo na"
(sabay turo sa kanyang private part) "para naman okay ako sa mga
magiging girlfriend ko!"
"How big do you want to be?" ang tanong ng genie.
"Gusto ko maging kasing laki ni Hercules! - - ah, hindi, teka, gusto ko
maging kasing laki ng kabayo ni Hercules!" ans sabi ni Juan.
"Ah, ganoon ha!" ang pag-tagalog ng genie. *poof*, naging kasing laki na
ni Juan ang kabayo ni Hercules. Nag-pasalamat ito sa genie at takbo
siya sa banyo ng mansion niya. Tinangal niya ang lahat ng damit niya at
tumingin siya sa salamin para makita niya ang sarili niya, at sabay na
siya ay sumigaw nang pagka-lakaslakas na parang kinakatay. bakit?
=> ang kabayo ni Hercules ay BABAE.
Suz
Enteng Batengteng
>HI EVERYONE.....
>
>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>
> THANX
This one's on the greener side.
Babala: Huwag basahin kung masyadong berde.
Isang kumbento ang pinasok ng rapist na si Gadong.
Natiyempuhan nitong naliligo si Sor Maria at agad binantaan na
papatayin kapag sumigaw.
"Oh my God" , usal ni Sor Maria nang sunggaban siya ni Gadong sa suso.
"Ay mahal na Ama", wika uli ni Sor Maria nang sunggaban ni Gadong ang
kanyang "guhit ng kaligayahan".
" Hal-leluya, Haleluya" , pakantang sabi ni Sor Maria nang "itirik"
ni Gadong ang kanyang " kandila ".
Hek hek hek hek hek :-))
Ka Enteng
Enteng Batengteng
>HI EVERYONE.....
>
>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>
> THANX
>
Here's one.
Nagmamadaling papasok si Kosme sa diskuhan ng kanyang masalubong ang
lasing na lasing na si Juan.
"Oh, phare, bakit ka *hic* nagmamadhale?, tanong ni Juan.
" O, ikaw pala pareng Juan, ihing-ihi na kasi ako eh, tutuloy muna ako
sa c.r. nila."
"Naku phare *hic* matutuwa ka, ginto ang toilet bowl nhila *hic* at me
sounds pa, halikah at shashamahan kitah *hic* ".
Sabay na pumasok ang mag kumpare sa diskuhan, at pagbungad pa lang
nila sa pinto ay may nagsisisigaw na tao sa loob at itinuturo si Juan
sabay sabi,
" 'ayan, 'ayan, arestuhin n'yo iyang gagong 'yan. Siya ang umihi sa
saxophone ko habang tumutugtog kami".
Hek hek hek hek :-))
Ka Enteng
Enteng Batengteng
>HI EVERYONE.....
>
>ANYONE HAVE ANY FILIPINO JOKES.......I NEED A FEW LAUGHS.....
>IF SO PLEASE SEND IT TO ME........
>
> THANX
>
O, eto pa.
1.
Ka Nena is browsing around for some souvenir at one of the holy land's
outlets, when the salesman approached her.
Holding an adult sized skull, the salesman told Ka Nena,
"here's a good one for you madam, this is Moses' skull and we're
selling this for only $5000.00 US dollars".
"$5000.00 !!! ", blurted Ka Nena, " but I've only got $500.00 with me,
and yes I'd love to have something as important as Moses' skull".
"500.00 huh?", said the salesman, " Ive got something for you for
$500.00 ".
The salesman reached under the counter and came up with a smaller
skull and said,
" for $500 I will let you have this".
" And who's skull is that? don't tell me that it's Moses' too". said
Ka Nena.
To which the salesman replied,
" as a matter of fact, this is Moses' skull when he was a kid ".
Hek hek hek hek hek :-))
2.
Tatlong kaluluwa ang tuloy-tuloy sanang papasok sa langit, dalawang
lalaking Cursilista at isang babaing mababa ang lipad, nang sila'y
pigilin ni San Pedro.
"Hindi n'yo ba alam dadaan kayo sa akin bago kayo pumasok diyan sa
loob? Kailangan muna kayong ma-interview kung dapat nga kayo para sa
langit", pagalit na sabi ni San Pedro.
"Kayong dalawang lalaki, ano ang inyong ikinamatay?", tanong ni San
Pedro.
"Drive by shooting po, habang kami'y nagma-manyanita, dalawa po kaming
napuruhan". sagot ng isa.
Marami pang itinanong si San Pedro sa dalawa hanggang humantong sa
trabaho.
"Ano naman ang trabaho ninyong dalawa nuong kayo ay nasa lupa pa".
tanong ni San Pedro.
"Ako po ay karpintero at ang kasama ko po ay panday", sagot uli ng
isa.
"Panday?, karpintero?? ", pagalit na ulit ni San Pedro.
"Karpintero ang gumawa ng krus na pinagpakuan kay Hesus at panday
naman ang gumawa ng ipinam-pako kay Hesus", pahayag ni San Pedro.
"Kayong dalawa, sa impyerno!!! , galit na sabi ni San Pedro, sabay
turo sa ibaba.
"At ikaw naman iha, ilang taon ka nang masawi?" tanong ni San Pedro.
"23 po ako nang maaksidente po ako". sagot ng babae.
"Ano naman ang trabaho mo sa lupa", tanong ulit ni San Pedro.
"Ah, eh, nakakahiya pong sabihin eh".
"Huwag ka nang mahiya, sabihin mo na", pamimilit ni San Pedro.
"Prostitute po ako", pahiyang sabi ng babae.
"Prostitute??? , sa kama !!! sabi ng San Pedro sabay turo sa waterbed.
Hek hek hek hek hek :-))
Ka Enteng
Sal Estrada
(aqu...@andrew.cmu.edu) says...
>
>HERCULES' HORSE: (pasensya, medjo green ito, kay?)
>"Ang ikatatlong hiling ko, ay, . . ay maging malaki sa, alam mo na"
>(sabay turo sa kanyang private part) "para naman okay ako sa mga
>magiging girlfriend ko!"
>
>"How big do you want to be?" ang tanong ng genie.
>
>"Gusto ko maging kasing laki ni Hercules! - - ah, hindi, teka, gusto ko
>maging kasing laki ng kabayo ni Hercules!" ans sabi ni Juan.
>
>"Ah, ganoon ha!" ang pag-tagalog ng genie. *poof*, naging kasing laki na
>ni Juan ang kabayo ni Hercules. Nag-pasalamat ito sa genie at takbo
>siya sa banyo ng mansion niya. Tinangal niya ang lahat ng damit niya at
>tumingin siya sa salamin para makita niya ang sarili niya, at sabay na
>siya ay sumigaw nang pagka-lakaslakas na parang kinakatay. bakit?
Hehehehehe...Suzanne, the other version goes something like this:
"Gusto ko, umaabot sa sahig!" ang sagot ni Juan.
"Ah, ganoon ha!" ang pag-tagalog ng genie. *poof*, biglang umiksi ang
binti ni Juan! ;-)
Enteng Batengteng
wrote:
>In article <4l9ruv$k...@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, bl...@ix.netcom.co
>says...
>>
>>In <4l9dt6$2...@Pleasanton01.News.Internex.NET> ben_t...@ecsusa.com
>>(Ben T) writes:
>
>Okay i got one:
>
>The was a ship wreck and only 4 people left in a small lifeboat, a
>pinoy, a kano, a german and a kastila.
>
>the lifeboat was so little that one of them have to jump out of the
>lifeboat so..
>
>the kano said "if no one of us will jump out, then we will all die" so,
>the kano stood up and said "Long Live America" then jumped out of the
>lifeboat. he got eaten by the sharks and died right away.
>
>but the lifeboat was still overcrowded, so the kastila stood up and
>said "Viva La Spania" then jumped and was eaten by the sharks.
>
>only the pinoy and the german was left but still one of them have to
>jump. the german stood up but pinoy stopped him. and pinoy said no
>dont do that.
>
>then pinoy stood up and said "Mabuhay Ang Pilipino" then kicked the
>german out of the lifeboat!
>
>So, mabuhay ang pilipino!
>
>hehehehee!
>
>http://www.dfwfoodnet.com
>
Eto ang isa pa, along the same lines as the above joke. It's an old
one.
Isang mayamang- mayamang tao ang umimbita sa lahat ng mga binata sa
iba-ibang lugar upang ipahayag ang pagkadalaga ng kanyang anak na
pinakamaganda naman sa buong siyudad at baka na rin sa bansa.
"Gentlemen, (Inglis ang salita ng tatay at may mga sumipot na mga
dayuhan) I present to you my lovely daughter, who today became a woman
and according to our custom must have a man to marry by tomorrow".
"The lucky man and my daughter will inherit half of all that I own
upon marriage".
"On one condition", the tatay continued, "he will have to swim the
length of this pool and make it to the other end ALIVE". Needless to
say, the pool is fully stocked with all kinds of carnivorous fish,
snakes and 'gators.
"I will go first", said the American, "I will be the one she will
marry".
Talon siya agad sa pool, at hindi pa man nakakarating sa gitna ay
pinapak na siya ng mga piranha.
Natahimik ang ibang mga guest sa nasaksihan, then the French man spoke
"mademoiselle, I will be 'ze one you will marry".
Talon din agad ang Franses, at malapit na siya sa dulo ng hilahin siya
ng alligator at pinutol agad ng kagat sa kalahati ang naturang
Franses.
By now, pula na sa dugo ang pool, at lalong natahimik ang mga guests.
Then all of sudden,
" SPLASH".
"It's the Pilipino guy and he's going to make it", sigaw ng mga
nanonood. At talaga naman pong parang kidlat sa bilis ang paglangoy ng
ating binata, kaya agad siyang nakaahon sa pool, safe and sound.
"Son, congratulations. You must really love my daughter to risk
you're life the way you did. Is there anything you want to say? ".
said the elated girls father.
The binatang Pinoy angrily replied,
"Yes, I just wanna know who that sonnababits is who pushed me in to
the pool". Hek hek hek hek hek hek :-))
Teka, teka, may isa pa pala.
Isang seminarista ang nakabakasyon at iginu-goodtime ng kanyang mga
wild and crazy friends.
Dinala siya sa isang beerhouse na "everything goes".
Agad namataan ng dancer ang mukhang inosenteng seminarista at
sinayawan ng ubod ng lapit at halos nakadikit.
Agad binuksan ng seminarista ang kanyang prayer book at umusal ng,
" Diyos ko po, takpan mo po ang mga mata ko at ilayo mo po ako sa
tuksong ito".
Nakita ng dancer na wa epek siya kay priest to be, kaya tinanggal nito
ang pang itaas niya at halos idikit ang kanyang mga suso sa
pinagpapawisan nang pobre.
Binuksan niyang muli ang kanyang prayer book at,
"Diyos ko po, takpan mo po ang mga mata ko, at ilayo sa tuksong ito".
sabi uli ng ating seminarista.
By now, masyado nang na-challenge ang dancer kaya inalis na ang
natitirang suot niyang "salong guhit" (panty), at talaga nang
idinikit ang kanyang katawan sa ngayo'y nanginginig nang seminarista
na agad ibinulsa ang kanyang prayer book at sabay sabi,
" DIYOS KO PO TAKPAN MO PO ANG IYONG MGA MATA, YAYARIIN KO PO ANG
TUKSONG ITO". Hek hek hek hek hek :-))
Ka Enteng
Totoy Bato
>
>On Thu, 18 Apr 1996 16:06:58 -0700, AC Cabanayan
><aur...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>
>
>>Meron daw nagbakasyong tatay ni Maria dito sa tate....so, kinaumagahan,
>>gaya sa Pinas, lumabas ng bahay si Mang Ambo at nag-papahangin. Nakita
>>siya ng kapit-bahay nina Maria at ang
>> sabi: "Oh, you must be Maria's dad vacationing here in California."
>> Mang Ambo: "Oh, yes!"
>> Kapit-bahay: "So, how do you like it here?"
>> Mang Ambo: "Oh, not much!"
>> Kapit-bahay: "Why not?"
>> Mang Ambo: "There are more neighbors to see back home at this time of
>> day."
>> Kapit-bahay: "What do you usually do at this time of day in the
>> Philippines?"
>> Mang Ambo: "At this time of day, I used to take my cock out, massage
my
>> cock, and then my neighbor friend would come out, he takes
>> his cock out and massage his cock, and we would have a
>> cock-fight."
>> The Kapit-bahay suddenly dissappeared and apparently fainted!
>>
This happened during one episode of Kwarta o kahon. Pepe Pimentel was
asking a few questions from a contestant before she qualifies:
Pepe: Misis, magbibigay ako ng chemical names ng mga pang-araw-araw na
gamit sa bahay at kailangang ibigay mo sa akin ang common nanes nila.
Handa ka na ba?
Mrs: Opo!
Pepe: Ano ang tawag sa mono sodium glutamate?
Mrs: Ha, alam ko yan. Vetsin!
Pepe: Correct! Ikalawang tanong. Anong tawag sa sucrose?
Mrs: Eh.. isip.. isip... Asukal!
Pepe: tama na naman! Ngayon ang ikatlong tanong, anong tawag sa sodium
chloride?
Mrs: Eh.. Ahhh... (hindi alam)
Pepe: Misis, bibigyan ko kayo ng clue. Ano ang inilalagay mo sa itlog ng
mister mo tuwing umaga?
Mrs: Ay alam ko na. Johnsons Baby Powder!
:-)
Cheers
Romy
Darwin
Nung nakakulong na sya, napalapit sya sa panginoon at naisipan nya na
tumulong sa kanyang kapwa.
Nang may nangailangan nang kidney--nag presenta sya na i-donate ang
kidney nya.
Nang may nangailangan nang mata--ibinigay din nya.
Nang may nangailangan nang ipin--ibinigay din nya.
Nang may nangailangan nang atay--ibinigay nya.
Isang araw...may taong nangangailangan nang puso.
Nagpunta sya sa head nang kulungan at sinabi nya na ibibigay na nya ang
puso nya.
Nagalit ang chief, at sumigaw, "Hindi pwede!!!! sumosobra ka na!!! kala
mo hindi ko alam ang pakay mo!!!".
Tinanong nya, "Anong pakay ang sinasabi mo??"
Sagot ni chief, "Kunwari ka pa...unti unti kang tumatakas!!!"
--ok ba?
MikePogs
Sagot: Last night, I met 2 girls, then I pakwan.
(Sorry kung bastos ha, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko)
-mahirap maging pogi, pero palagay ko mas mahirap maging pangit-
Mike
MikePogs
A: Aquino-moto!
Totoy Bato
says...
Ok, may naalala na naman akong joks:
Pustahan...
Si Juan at si pedro, nag-iinuman at pareho nang lasing.
Juan: Pre' gusto mong magpustahan?
Pedro: Aba'y oo. Anong pagpupustahan natin.
Juan: Singkwenta pesos, kaya kong kagatin ang aking kanang mata.
Pedro: (lasing na nga ang kumag na ito). O sige, kasado ako!
Juan: Heh-heh. Talo ka pare ko! (sabay inalis ang artipisyal niyang mata
sa kanan.
Pedro: Tang ina mo pare, naisahan mo ako. Hindi ko alam na peke pala ang
kanan mong mata.
Hindi nagtagal, nahamon uli si Juan.
Juan; pareng pedro, gusto mong bumawi? Okey, pustahan ng isang daang piso
na kaya kong kagatin anf kaliwa kong mata?
Pedro: (talagang lasing na ang kumag na ito. Imposibleng peke rin ang
kaliwang mata nito-nakakakita, eh) O sige, call!
Juan: "sucker!" naisahan na naman kita! (sabay inalis ang pustiso niya at
kinagat ang kanyang kaliwang mata.
Atsaka isa pa...
Father and Son...
Anak: Itay, itay, gusto ko nang mag-asawa.
Tatay: Anak, napakabata mo pa para mag-sip ng mga bagay na iyan.
Anak: Pero itay, libog na libog na talaga ako. Sige na itay please!
tatay: OK, ito ang patakaran ko. Papayagan kitang mag-asawa kung mahaba na
ang titi mo at umaabot na sa iyong puwit.
Anak: O sige itay, pahahabain ko na lang muna.
Pagkaraan ng isang taon...
Anak: Itay, itay, gusto ko nang mag-asawa.
Tatay: O abot na ba sa puwet mo ang titi mo?
Anak: Hindi pa itay pero konting-konti na lang.
tatay: Kung gayon, hindi ka pa pwedeng mag-asawa.
Pagkaraan ng isa pang taon.
Anak: Itay, palagay ko naman ay pwede na akong mag-asawa.
tatay: bakit, umaabot na ba ang titi mo sa puwit mo?
Anak: Naku itay, lagpas-lagpasan pa nga.
Tatay: Aba, ay huwag ka na lang mag-asawa. kantutin mo na lang ang puwet
mo!
Allan Bengco
SETTING: Sa isang Miss Universe Pageant, Question and answer portion na.
The finalists will be answering only one question for all of them.
FINALISTS: Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Philippines
QUESTION: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
MS. AMERICA: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like
gentlemen.
QUESTION: How can you say so?
MS. AMERICA: Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....
Applause! applause!
QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country is like our very own bullfight
or toro (bull).
QUESTION: How can you say so?
MS. SPAIN: Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
Applause! applause!
QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country is like Shakespeare's Theater.
QUESTION: Oh my! It's very big! How can you say so?
MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.
Applause! Applause!
QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your
country?
MS. PHILS: Well, I can say that male organs in our country is like
gossips or we call it 'chismis' in our language.
QUESTION: How can you say so?
MS. PHILS: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
------------------------
ALLAN BENGCO
Makati City, Philippines
------------------------
Thanks to: Patrick Almaden for the contribution
ray...@ibm.net
Here are my contributions:
PINOY JOKES (circa 1980 - 1990)
Parts I and II
(1)
(Clean, non-green joke)
A contest was held to determine who has the most number of children. The
Philippines was fortunate enough to be the host for the event which have contestants
from around the world. The Araneta Colisuem was chosen as the venue by the
committee in charge of the preparation. Let's follow the dialogues during the
contest proper:
Announcer: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the contestant from India with his
45 children."
As the Indian went up to the stage with his 45 children, the audience clapped their
hands widely.
Announcer: "Now a warm welcome for our contestant from China with his 75 children!"
As the Chinese was presented in the stage the audience went wild, clapped their hands,
and stumped their feet.
Announcer: "Now our very own contestant, from the Philippppinnnneeess, please welcome
Juan."
Up went Juan in the stage, ALONE. There were no immediate response from the audience.
The Indian and Chinese, with their family, began laughing a low, hearty, and uncontrolled
manner.
They only stopped when the the audience, in perfect unison, shouted:
"Go, Daddy, Go! Go Daddy, Go, Go, Go!"
(2) WARNING: GREEN materials ahead.
Stop if "profanity" offends you.
Three hunters were caught in the jungle by a fierce yet primitive tribe. All three were
placed in a cage. One day, one of the prisoners was taken out of the cage and was brought
to the chief:
Chief: "Me ask yo to choose: Death or Bonga-bonga."
Hunter1: <thinking: nothing can be worst than death, ...> "Chief, I choose bonga-bonga,
whatever that is."
Chief: "Men, Bonga-bonga." Pointing to the hunter. The hunter was grabbed by 15 men
and he found out that bonga-bonga means to be sodomized, fiercely.
As hunter 1 was crawling back to his cage, with blood trailing his path. The second hunter
was brought to the chief and was asked the same question. Naturally, the 2nd hunter choose
bonga-bonga not knowing what it is and it seems a better alternative than death.
However, hunter 1 was able to reach the cage and warn hunter 3:
Hunter1: ".... that's what bonga-bonga mean." Before slumpering in the ground in sheer agony.
Hunter 2 crawled back to the cage, again with a trail of sickening blood. Then hunter 3
was brought to the chief:
Chief: "Me ask yo to choose: Death or Bonga-bonga."
Hunter 3: "Inspite of my inhuman captivity, I have my honor and dignity intact and I'll rather
die than be violated by you. I choose Death!"
The silence that followed was deafening. The menfolk of the tribe started humming a funereal
tune. The women gathered their children and led them away, back to their huts. Then the chief,
like a judege about to give a verdict, announced:
Chief: "Ok then, Men," <pointing to the hunter>, "Death by bonga-bonga"
Sal Estrada
In article <317FB7...@sni.com.ph>, Allan Bengco
(al...@sni.com.ph) says...
>
>Ako meron din pero medyo bastos......Apat ang punch line nito.....
>
> gentlemen.
>
Hahahahaha...kayo mga taga Siemens Nixdorf talaga...puro semen nalang
ang isip! -Sal
rj...@tpts1.seed.net.tw
My turn this time:
2 indian (american indian) boy was playing and they were talking about
their names, a little later this small boy ran home and complain to
his father.
"Father can you change my name? I don't want it."
"Why whats wrong? do you know that each indian have a very unique
name?"
"each of our name are from special situation. Like when your sister
was born, I saw the river so we call your sister 'Flowing River,' then
your brother was born, I saw an eagle flying high, so we name your
brother 'Flying Eagle,'
"Do you understand Fucking Dog?"
ros...@pngl.petnet.med.umich.edu
Greetings from Laguna!
Here's something I lifted from Jose Guevarra's Point of Order:
DICK Gordon for Prez. An American for a change.
Erap eats with his fingers. Success hasn't change him.
Erap had a poor man's lunch of adobo and galunggong on his birthday. That's
Forbes Park fare.
RP to stop exporting monkeys. Just stick to people.
Muntinlupa City hails to plan the Bilibid Prison to the north. They're
confident that will change their reputation.
2 royal divorces in 1 year. Breaking records.
Latinos will outnumber the whites in California in 10 years. They never left in
the first place.
Letty Ramos Shahani is a wild card in '98 polls. Whoever she teams up with will
succeed FVR.
Cabinet meetings not scripted, says Palace. That's why they say different
lines.
Ebola virus from RP kills monkeys only. And only those that migrate to the US.
--
_______
(((( ))))
((( _ _ )))
\ o o /
( ^ )
~\ . /~ - "Sakit sakit my head...I want to make it umpog to
the
door."
_| |_
(\~~~~~/)
COED
Nestor de Guzman
Allan Bengco <al...@sni.com.ph> wrote:
>Ako meron din pero medyo bastos......Apat ang punch line nito.....
>SETTING: Sa isang Miss Universe Pageant, Question and answer portion na.
>The finalists will be answering only one question for all of them.
>FINALISTS: Ms. America
> Ms. Spain
> Ms. Britain
> Ms. Philippines
>QUESTION: Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your
> country?
>MS. AMERICA: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like
> gentlemen.
>QUESTION: How can you say so?
>MS. AMERICA: Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....
>Applause! applause!
>QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your
> country?
>MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country is like our very own bullfight
> or toro (bull).
>QUESTION: How can you say so?
>MS. SPAIN: Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
>Applause! applause!
>QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how do you describe a male organ in your
> country?
>MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country is like Shakespeare's Theater.
>QUESTION: Oh my! It's very big! How can you say so?
>MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.
>Applause! Applause!
>QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your
> country?
>MS. PHILS: Well, I can say that male organs in our country is like
> gossips or we call it 'chismis' in our language.
>QUESTION: How can you say so?
>MS. PHILS: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
>------------------------
>ALLAN BENGCO
>Makati City, Philippines
>------------------------
>Thanks to: Patrick Almaden for the contribution
Use "VINEGAR" in a sentence ......
If your not white you must vi-ni-gar......
Nestor de Guzman
http://www.bpserv.com/nestor/
PALMHACK
Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
What is the answer???
HampasLupa
Furniture. <yawn> Next.
Dale Borja
Takot ako sa isa, matapang sa dalawa...
LB
My turn:
1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
JoY
On 28 Apr 1996, PALMHACK wrote:
> Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
>
> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>
>
> What is the answer???
>
>
luma na 'to..pero sige....... FURNITURE!!!! :)
JoY
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_
_____ O _ _ ___ _ \
|| \ \ \ > / \ \ /
|| | | \ / | | \ /
|| | | Y | | Y
|| | | | | | | 'Nothing is good or bad
||____/ \ < \___/ / but by comparison.'
_________________________ \
<______INGATS!!! ;)_______> - thomas fuller
\__________/ngjesu'96
Email --> m_q...@alcor.concordia.ca
URL --> http://alcor.concordia.ca/~m_quita
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
JoY
On 28 Apr 1996, PALMHACK wrote:
> Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
>
> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>
>
> What is the answer???
>
FURNITURE !!!
Eh ,eto : Ch Ch side by side, you are inside.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_
_____ O _ _ ___ _ \
|| \ \ \ > / \ \ / 'Better by far you should forget
|| | | \ / | | \ / and smile,
|| | | Y | | Y
|| | | | | | | Than that you should remember
||____/ \ < \___/ / and be sad.'
_________________________ \
<______INGATS!!! ;)_______> - christina rossetti
Romeo Arenzana
In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
>Dale Borja wrote:
>
>My turn:
>
>1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
Kasoy.
>2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
Makahiya?
Eto naman ang iba:
Buto't balat, lumilipad.
May ulo, walang buhok,
May tiyan, walang pusod.
Ano pa ba?
--
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Romeo Arenzana
In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
>Dale Borja wrote:
>
>My turn:
>
>1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
Kasoy.
>2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
Makahiya?
How about:
May ulo, walang buhok,
May tiyan, walang pusod.
--
Andy Aganad
> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>
> What is the answer???
F U R N I T U R E is the answer. Nice try but that's an old one.I heard
it first about 25 years ago.
Enteng Batengteng
On 28 Apr 1996 21:04:27 -0400, palm...@aol.com (PALMHACK) wrote:
>Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
>
>If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>
>
>What is the answer???
Naku naman, napakahirap yata nito.
Let's see, F-U-R-N-I-M-T-U-R-E ???
I believe, you mean F-U-R-N-I-T-U-R-E !!!!!
OK, ah.
Ka Enteng
JoY
On Mon, 29 Apr 1996, LB wrote:
> Dale Borja wrote:
> >
> > In <4m14ir$6...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, palm...@aol.com (PALMHACK) writes:
> > >Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
> > >
> > >If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
> > >
> > >
> > >What is the answer???
> > >
> > >
> > Furniture!
> >
> > Takot ako sa isa, matapang sa dalawa...Answer: Bisekleta
>
> My turn:
>
> 1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
>
Kasoy!!
Eto na si Kaka... pabuka-bukaka...
-!-
JoY
ManangL
furniture.
Francisco Castro
palm...@aol.com (PALMHACK) writes:
> Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
>
> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>
>
> What is the answer???
This is such an old one.
The above question can be re-written as,
but pronounced basically the same, to,
F-U-R-N-I-T-U-R-E
(In fact the guy who wrote the above made a
slght but significant error after the "'N' I am 'T'"
There is no "am".
Don Corleone
>
>Eh ,eto : Ch Ch side by side, you are inside.
>
JoY
On 29 Apr 1996, Romeo Arenzana wrote:
> In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
> >Dale Borja wrote:
> >
> >My turn:
> >
> >1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
>
> Kasoy.
>
> >2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
>
> Makahiya?
>
o zipper??
> Buto't balat, lumilipad.
>
papagayo / saranggola
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_
_____ O _ _ ___ _ \
|| \ \ \ > / \ \ /
|| | | \ / | | \ /
|| | | Y | | Y
|| | | | | | | "If mountains are high
||____/ \ < \___/ / and carabaos can fly,
_________________________ \ how many bananas are left?"
<______INGATS!!! ;)_______>
Ron Calderon
Here's one more luuuuuuuuuma riddle:
What is in the middle of the sea?
(and no, it's not Filimon namasol sa kadagatan ;)
--
Ron
,-===========================---=====================-.
,, /~~~ /~~~~~/ / /\ / <> `\,--------------------. \
,, /________/ /___/_/ `\/ <> /' /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[\ \
,, _________________________/' * * / .~`````~. [\|
,, [| Netsurfer's License * * / ./""'---'\. [|
,, [| -<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>/~ * * / .\__ _ __/, [/
,, [|name: Ronald R. Calderon * * / (:(_)~(_):) [|
\__[|age : 22.036138009999 * * / | `~' .| [/
[|eyes: two * / \`~-~ / [|
[|hair: too many to count | .i`---i. [/
[|http://www.csun.edu/~hbcsc288 | .,--""::`` ..::-,. [|
`\______________________ N C C \`: :: :: ``, [/
`\ 1701D \____________________[/
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virgilio Roldan
In article <4m2vkp$1...@amdint.amd.com>, aren...@angelo.amd.com (Romeo
Arenzana) writes:
|> In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
|> >Dale Borja wrote:
|> >
|> >My turn:
|> >
|> >1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
|>
|> Kasoy.
|>
|> >2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
|>
|> Makahiya?
|>
|>
|> Buto't balat, lumilipad.
Saranggola
|>
|> May ulo, walang buhok,
|> May tiyan, walang pusod.
|>
???
|> Ano pa ba?
|>
O, Ito naman:
Pag panaog, dahan-dahan
Pag umakyat, biglaan.
-- Viyo
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
******* I don't have a SIG...just a Browning, Colt, and S & W !!! *******
_________________________________________________________________________
Dale Borja
>> >Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
>> >
>> >If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>> >
>> >
>> >What is the answer???
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Takot ako sa isa, matapang sa dalawa...Answer: Bisekleta
Kawayan na tulay!
>
>My turn:
>
>1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
Kasoy
>
>2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
Hangin
Dale Borja
In <Pine.OSF.3.91.960429...@alcor.concordia.ca>, JoY <m_q...@alcor.concordia.ca> writes:
>
>On 28 Apr 1996, PALMHACK wrote:
>
>>
>> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
>>
>>
>> What is the answer???
>>
>
>
>
>Eh ,eto : Ch Ch side by side, you are inside.
Church
>
>
>= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
> _
> _____ O _ _ ___ _ \
> || \ \ \ > / \ \ / 'Better by far you should forget
> || | | \ / | | \ / and smile,
> || | | Y | | Y
> || | | | | | | Than that you should remember
> ||____/ \ < \___/ / and be sad.'
> _________________________ \
> <______INGATS!!! ;)_______> - christina rossetti
Dale Borja
In <4m2vkp$1...@amdint.amd.com>, aren...@angelo.amd.com (Romeo Arenzana) writes:
>In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
>>Dale Borja wrote:
>>
>>
>>1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
>
>
>>2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
>
>
>Eto naman ang iba:
>
>Buto't balat, lumilipad.
Sarangola
>
>May ulo, walang buhok,
>May tiyan, walang pusod.
(?)
>
>Ano pa ba?
DagkelButo
>Eto na si Kaka... pabuka-bukaka...
Gunting ba ito? Ayos ito ah, hehe.
DagkelButo
>What is in the middle of the sea?
E di "e". Tama ba?
DagkelButo
> Pag panaog, dahan-dahan
> Pag umakyat, biglaan.
Ano ba ito, hagdan? This is a good one.
Suzanne R Aquino
Excerpts from netnews.soc.culture.filipino: 29-Apr-96 Re: FILIPINO
RIDDLE!! by Ron Cald...@email.csun.
>
>
> --
> Ron
the letter e.
here's one:
What is a dear without an ear?
totti
Binging usa? No?
Teka. Hmmmm... 'lam ko na, 'D'
Tony M. Mina
Ron Calderon wrote:
>
> Here's one more luuuuuuuuuma riddle:
>
> What is in the middle of the sea?
>
> (and no, it's not Filimon namasol sa kadagatan ;)
> --
the letter "E"?
Luis
Ano ang opposite ng SAKLOLO?
Sagot:
LIKLOLA
:)
he he he
Catherine J Lazatin
O.K. I've got a riddle. But it's not a Filipino one, and it's pretty old.
Here it is:
The person who makes it, does so to sell it.
The person who buys it, doesn't use it.
The person who uses it, doesn't see it.
What is it?
--
******************************************************************************
"How in one night have we come so far?" ** Catherine Lazatin
-Miss Saigon ** laz...@acsu.buffalo.edu
**
m e
In <4m2vkp$1...@amdint.amd.com> aren...@angelo.amd.com (Romeo Arenzana)
writes:
>
>In article <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> wrote:
>>Dale Borja wrote:
>>
>>My turn:
>>
>>1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
>
>Kasoy.
>
>>2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
>
>Makahiya?
>
>Eto naman ang iba:
>
>Buto't balat, lumilipad.
DagkelButo
>The person who makes it, does so to sell it.
>The person who buys it, doesn't use it.
>The person who uses it, doesn't see it.
>What is it?
Sirit na ako dito! Ibigay mo na please! Teka, hindi ba braille na book?
Pero puwede naman siyang bumili ano? Sige, sirit na.
Virgie S Zapanta
From: drb...@ibm.net (Dale Borja)
> >On 28 Apr 1996, PALMHACK wrote:
> >> Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
> >> If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
> >> What is the answer???
> >FURNITURE !!!
> >Eh ,eto : Ch Ch side by side, you are inside.
>
> Church
..hahaha...that one was a GOOD one!..:) lol....hehhe..:)
vill...@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu
In article <4m47a7$o...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>, drb...@ibm.net (Dale Borja) writes:
> In <3184FC...@ionsys.com>, LB <li...@ionsys.com> writes:
>>
>
>
Hindi ba saging yun, pagbinabalatan?
G&C
ray
On 1 May 1996, Catherine J Lazatin wrote:
>
> O.K. I've got a riddle. But it's not a Filipino one, and it's pretty old.
> Here it is:
>
> The person who makes it, does so to sell it.
> The person who buys it, doesn't use it.
> The person who uses it, doesn't see it.
> What is it?
>
> --
> ******************************************************************************
> "How in one night have we come so far?" ** Catherine Lazatin
> -Miss Saigon ** laz...@acsu.buffalo.edu
> **
Is it a coffin?
Later RAY
"I will call them my people,
which were not my people;
and her beloved,
which was not beloved."
Noel Hernandez
On Mon, 29 Apr 1996, LB wrote:
> Dale Borja wrote:
> >
> > In <4m14ir$6...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, palm...@aol.com (PALMHACK) writes:
> > >Hi Guys I got one for you!!!
> > >
> > >If you are "N" I am "T" you are "E"
> > >
> > >
> > >What is the answer???
> > >
> > >
> > Furniture!
> >
> > Takot ako sa isa, matapang sa dalawa...Answer: Bisekleta
>
> My turn:
>
> 1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
>
kasoy...
> 2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
>
>
dont know...
my turn...
sabihin mo sa isang babae.......
isang word begining with "p" and ends in "i", and its part of
your body......i give you 30 seconds to get it or else I'll touch it! ;)
-==========================================================================-
| ()() ____ | name : Noel Hernandez |
| (..) /|o | | email : N.Her...@herts.ac.uk |
| /\/\ /o| o| | www : http://www.cs.herts.ac.uk/~csc1br/ |
| \db/o. /o_|_o_| | |
-==========================================================================-
Christian M. Camila
--->>>>The answer is e<<<----
===============================================================================
Christian M. Camila Advanced Science and Technology Institute
===============================================================================
_____________
/ \
/ \
/ 0 0 \
| ^ |
\ \ / / email : chr...@asti.dost.gov.ph
\ \____/ / web : http://www.asti.dost.gov.ph/~chrisc/home1.htm
\_____________/ school : Centro Escolar University
-------------------------------------------->>>>>>>>>>
--->>>Don't spend more than what you earn, if you earn P1,000.00
spend only P900.00 but don't spend P1,001.00<<<-----------------------
LB
WALANG BUTO WALANG TINIK LINTIK MAGALIT!!!!!
........
Totoy Bato
In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.960429...@alcor.concordia.ca>,
m_q...@alcor.concordia.ca says...
>
>
>
>Eh ,eto : Ch Ch side by side, you are inside.
>
Church.
O heto naman, mas luma pa..
Hindi tao, hindi hayop, habang iyong pinapatay, lalong humahaba ang buhay.
Romy
DagkelButo
>BALONG MALALIM PUNO NG PATALIM...
Bunganga mo!!!
DagkelButo
>WALANG BUTO WALANG TINIK LINTIK MAGALIT!!!!!
Hindi kaya ang sagot dito ay ang aking pangalan?
Magno Cabanayan
RAT-BU!
On Fri, 3 May 1996, LB wrote:
> WALANG BUTO WALANG TINIK LINTIK MAGALIT!!!!!
>
> ........
>
>
JoY
On Sat, 4 May 1996, Totoy Bato wrote:
> Church.
>
> O heto naman, mas luma pa..
>Hindi tao, hindi hayop, habang iyong pinapatay, lalong humahaba ang buhay.
ummm.. "candol" - as in kandila??
JoY
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
_
_____ O _ _ ___ _ \
|| \ \ \ > / \ \ /
|| | | \ / | | \ /
|| | | Y | | Y
|| | | | | | | "If mountains are high
||____/ \ < \___/ / and carabaos can fly,
_________________________ \ how many bananas are left?"
<______INGATS!!! ;)_______>
\__________/ngjesu'96
Email --> m_q...@alcor.concordia.ca
URL --> http://alcor.concordia.ca/~m_quita
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
BENJAMIN L. GUADIZ
In <4md5gk$8...@newsbf02.news.aol.com> dagke...@aol.com (DagkelButo)
writes:
>>WALANG BUTO WALANG TINIK LINTIK MAGALIT!!!!!
>
---------------------
MY TURN:
Inya metten kabagis !!! Kasta aya kadi ???
benjamin
bl...@ix.netcom.com
bl...@primenet.com
Southern CA 92324
Sales Consultant
In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.960429...@alcor.concordia.ca>, JoY
> Eto na si Kaka... pabuka-bukaka...
Gunting!!!
Diners
Sales Consultant
> 1. Isang magandang prinsesa nakaupo sa tasa...
Kasoy!
> 2. Nagdaan si Tarzan nagyukuan and mga Indyan....
Zipper
How about:
I opened the window, I saw many kalbo....
May isang puno, ano ang bunga?
Dino
Sales Consultant
In article
<Pine.HPP.3.92.96050...@pathogen.ecst.csuchico.edu>, Luis
<sch...@ecst.csuchico.edu> wrote:
> Ano ang opposite ng SAKLOLO?
>
> Sagot:
> LIKLOLA
Aha, bumeberde na itong thread na ito. Goody, goody! Sali ako.
Kung ang purong tagalog nang "chair" ay salumpuwit at ang tagalog nang
"bra" ay saluso, ano sa purong tagalog ang "brief"?
Diners
Sales Consultant
> WALANG BUTO WALANG TINIK LINTIK MAGALIT!!!!!
Alam ko ng sagot pero masyadong bastos sa Tagalog, eh!
Ron J. Roaquin
JoY
On 4 May 1996, Sales Consultant wrote:
> How about:
>
> I opened the window, I saw many kalbo....
? ? ?
> May isang puno, ano ang bunga?
>
Mais din...
Gil Malonzo II
Sales Consultant wrote:
>
> In article
> <Pine.HPP.3.92.96050...@pathogen.ecst.csuchico.edu>, Luis
> <sch...@ecst.csuchico.edu> wrote:
>
> > Ano ang opposite ng SAKLOLO?
> >
> > Sagot:
> > LIKLOLA
>
> Aha, bumeberde na itong thread na ito. Goody, goody! Sali ako.
>
> Kung ang purong tagalog nang "chair" ay salumpuwit at ang tagalog nang
> "bra" ay saluso, ano sa purong tagalog ang "brief"?
>
> Diners
*** Salongba___ ? Don't know.
Eh ano naman sa tagalog ang panty? sirit?
*Salunguhit*
ek ek ek CORNY! Tanda na nito...
Romeo Arenzana
>>May ulo, walang buhok,
>>May tiyan, walang pusod.
Sirit na kayo dito? Ang sagot ay... palaka!!!
LB
Sales Consultant wrote:
>
> In article
> <Pine.HPP.3.92.96050...@pathogen.ecst.csuchico.edu>, Luis
> <sch...@ecst.csuchico.edu> wrote:
>
> > Ano ang opposite ng SAKLOLO?
> >
> > Sagot:
> > LIKLOLA
>
> Aha, bumeberde na itong thread na ito. Goody, goody! Sali ako.
>
> Kung ang purong tagalog nang "chair" ay salumpuwit at ang tagalog nang
> "bra" ay saluso, ano sa purong tagalog ang "brief"?
>
salung- ari