President Mubarak Says Egypt Needs 40 Million LESS Egyptians! Urgent Call for RUBBERS!
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"President For Life And Thereafter" to order his impoverished flock of
81 million to practice sexual abstinance or face a visit from his
Prophylactic Police.
"We simply have too many people for the amount of food we produce,"
said Hosni The Humble at a Cairo news conference. "I would urge all
of our sexually active people ages 7 to 97 to cut down on their
copulatory activities to maybe once a week, to reduce the number
pregnancies we're seeing these days. Or, try more masturbatory action
to reduce your urges. You can do it in groups!"
Breathing rapidly after having attended a mass beheading in Cairo's
famous Plaz De Lopov, Mubarak told the assembled reporter that if
Egyptian men didn't cut down on their whoopee, he'd order his thugs to
"Cut off their peepees."
As an attendant brought out a box of condoms, "The Hose" as his
friends affectionately call him, remarked, "These rubbers are our
ticket to prosperity and openess -- if you get my drift. Seriously
though, I want our men to show our boys how to use these things early,
since I am informed that, due to Egypt's short life expectancy, they
often start into sex well before puberty. And until they do, they can
use these things as balloons!"
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"Egypt's President Urges Family Planning"
"Campaign Launched Amid Economic Difficulties, Unrest Over Food
Prices"
By Ellen Knickmeyer
Washington Post Foreign Service
Wednesday, June 11, 2008; A10
CAIRO, June 10 -- Egypt's big problem? Too many Egyptians, President
Hosni Mubarak said this week, launching a new family planning campaign
as his government grapples with long bread lines and riots over flour
rations.
Mubarak has urged Egyptians to have smaller families since coming to
power in 1981, when the country's population was slightly more than 40
million, about half of its estimated population of 81 million today.
Many Egyptians see large families as a source of financial security.
Mubarak has renewed such efforts at times of economic difficulty, such
as the current one, when rising food prices, stagnant wages and an
inefficient and corrupt distribution system have led to hours-long
lines for subsidized bread. On Saturday, thousands in the
Mediterranean town of Burullus burned tires and battled police to show
their anger over a government plan to distribute flour rations to
bakeries rather than the public.
At least 10 Egyptians have died in incidents at bread lines this year.
"Egyptians built history and culture and the Pyramids when they were
no more than 2 million," Mubarak said Monday at a national conference
on family planning, according to the Cairo daily al-Masri al-Yom. At
current growth rates, the country's population will double by 2050, he
said.
Health Minister Hatem el-Gabali announced an $80 million family-
planning campaign Tuesday, with the slogan "Two children per family --
a chance for a better life."
Egypt is the 16th most populous country in the world, and the most
populous Arab nation. Its fertility rate, 2.7 children born per woman,
places it 88th among nations, according to 2008 estimates in the CIA
World Factbook. The United States ranks 126th with 2.1 children per
woman.
In a store selling baby products in Cairo's crowded working-class
neighborhood of Boulaq on Tuesday, 71-year-old Abu Mahmoud read the
Koran at the counter under a rack of pink baby T-shirts printed with
the English words "Beautiful life of niceties."
Abu Mahmoud, who wouldn't give his full name for fear of trouble from
the government, said he had five children and wished for 12.
"Every time the president speaks to the people, it's like he's looking
at us and saying, 'Where am I going to get the food to feed you all?'
" he said.
"God is feeding us," he added.
"If the government took the money it spent on birth-control campaigns
and used it to buy us food, it would be much better," said Abu
Mahmoud, who has seen four of his children find jobs as accountants,
with the fifth still in school.
At a watermelon stand, Nagib Mohammed Ahmed, 60, leaned in the shade
of a street kiosk. He said he had five children and went out each day
to look for odd jobs to pay for their food and education.
"It's not our fault for having the kids," Ahmed said. "It's the
government's fault for not providing. This country is full of
resources, but the government takes it all."
He said he hoped his children would have two children per family at
the most. "It's too expensive," he said.
Islam does not prohibit contraception, and Egypt has had aggressive
birth-control campaigns in the past. TV ads in the 1990s urged condom
use, showing a small family ascending into prosperity and a large one
descending into poverty.
Egypt's economy has grown by 6 to 7 percent annually in recent years,
and the nation has received billions of dollars in foreign investment.
At least 40 percent of the people remain in poverty or close to it,
according to international institutions.
Child labor is a fact of life for Egypt's poor, and the wages children
earn can determine whether families eat or go hungry.
"A man who is poor and who is possibly married to one or two or three
or four wives, for him it is a very prosperous plan to get five, six,
a half-dozen, a dozen children. It is a source of income," said Milad
Hanna, an urbanization and population expert in Cairo.
"People listen to the president, but they don't follow his
recommendation, because it is an absolute social and economic
necessity for them to have children," Hanna said.
How does Egypt solve the problem? Under current conditions, it
doesn't, Hanna said.
"The problem is unsolvable."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/10/AR2008061002667.html
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Tell them to apply for resident visas to the United States or Western
European countries.
Feulin Yewup
'Enough!' "
CAIRO, June 13 -- In the wake of a furious response to the Egyptian
President for Life and Hereafter's call for sexual restraint on the
part of horny Egyptians, some 600 tons of condoms have been received
since yesterday at Cairo and Alexandria ports and at major airports,
according to eyewitness reports.
Responding to the deluge, "The Hose," as Mubarak's six friends
affectionately call him, the Egyptian president told a a handcuffed
Tunisian reporter, "We must ask that our friends worldwide stop
sending condoms to our beleaguered nation. Our import facilties
simply cannot handle the estimated 50-million condoms we have
received. Our people like to "get it on," as our American friends so
aptly put it, but we now have enough rubbers for every male in all of
Egypt. Even the kids!"
Signaling that he had to attend another mass-beheading, Mubarak said
to the the assembled reporter, "We wish to offer our condom surplus to
other nations who have overpopulation problems, especially in Sub-
Saharan Africa, where AIDS is a real terror."