HOMAGE TO ELDERS
kyawky...@my-dejanews.com
Excerpts from Myanmar Perspective Magazine
It is part of our Myanmar culture to have respect, and show respect to one’s
elders. The rules of conduct of Myanmar society require polite and mannerly
behaviour towards all, but especially towards those older than oneself
whatever his rank or position. Hence the reason why, when we are obliged to
cross in front of somebody, standing or sitting, we incline our bodies as
delicately as possible and say "Kadaw" at the same time. This literally means
"My obeisance" and is the equivalent of " Pardon me". No one may step over
the legs or touch the head of another without reason, leave alone that of an
older person, and we must always address each other in polite terms.
This respect for others enjoined by the Lord Buddha in the "Mangala Sutta",
the Thirty Eight Modes of Conduct has permeated every aspect of our culture
and society, so that today all Myanmar people irrespective of race or creed,
accept it as the proper mode of behaviour. I do not mean to imply that other
cultures and societies do not have respect for elders. I simply wish to
emphasize the fact that we do so overtly, and that it is a way of life with
us. When it comes to parents and teachers or anyone to whom we owe a debt of
gratitude, showing respect alone is not enough. To our parents we owe our
very life. It has been ingrained in us since young that we owe a life-long
debt of gratitude to our teachers also, for they have given us the knowledge
and education to live by. All Myanmar Buddhists, thus, revere parents and
teachers and honour them on the same plane as the Three Gems of Buddhism, the
Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha.
This reverence for our parents, teachers, older relatives like grandparents,
uncles, aunts, and for all elders, which is the essence of our lives, takes
on a formal aspect on two important occasions - on New Year’s Day of the
Myanmar calendar, (in April) and at the end of the Buddhist Lent, which
begins on the Full Moon Day of Wazo (June/July) and ends on the Full Moon Day
of Thadingyut (October). On both occasions, the younger generation pays
obeisance to the older, accompanied by small gifts.
In the New Year season of April, sons, daughters, grandchildren, nephews,
nieces and students visit elder relatives and teachers to pay homage. The
Myanmar New Year Day, as most people have come to know, is preceded by three
and sometimes four ( if it is a Myanmar Leap Year) days of the water
festival. It is a joyous but wet occasion with everyone throwing water on
everyone else, as if to wash away the sins and disappointments of the old
year. But it is not deemed proper to drench our elders. So we go and pay our
respects and the term used for this event is " to offer water as homage". So
among the gifts to be presented is a small earthen jar of water. The other
gifts are also not elaborate or expensive and may consist of some fruit,
jaggery (palm sugar), cheroots, peanut or sesame brittle and so forth. This
custom is especially prevalent in Upper Myanmar when the temperature even in
the shade soars to well over 100ºF in the summer. I remember the time in my
native town of Shwebo, when my sisters and I, as part of a group of about 15
cousins, would pool our pocket money to buy small earthen pots for water and
a few gifts, to visit the homes of our elder relatives and teachers and pay
obeisance. We girls would balance the small water pots on our heads while the
boys carried the other gifts. The pocket money we were given in return would
then be shared out joyfully amongst us.
The custom of paying homage at Thadingyut is more widespread and in some
instances have taken on a more formal and ceremonial mode. But within the
family circle it still remains a quiet and intimate affair. A young family
will buy suitable gifts, consisting of traditional ones like candles as
offering for the Buddha, bananas and coconut, plus a variety of modern things
such as beverages like Ovaltine, fruit juice, cookies etc:, with which to pay
homage to parents, elderly relatives, former teachers and any older person to
whom the family wishes to show appreciation and gratitude for some help
rendered.
It is a joyous and propitious occasion. The elders are pleased and comforted
by the respect, love and care shown by the young people. The young rejoice in
the fulfillment of their filial duty and in the demonstration of their love
and respect. Only those who have received homage or paid homage can
experience the special mutual feelings of beneficence. The young people feel
a deep sense of humility, gratitude, respect and love as they kneel to touch
their foreheads to the floor with palms together. And then they formally ask
forgiveness for any inadvertent sin in word, deed or thought that they may
have committed against the elders. The latter forgive and then bless the
young people and wish them health, wealth and happiness. But above all they
express the hope that the younger generation will come to know the Four Noble
Truths and follow the Buddha’s Eight-fold Noble Path and finally achieve
liberation from the cycle of birth and rebirth. At this, those paying homage
respond with " May your blessings be fulfilled ". Next comes the special
treat the children have been waiting for. They are each given pocket money
and released from the seriousness of the occasion to run around and whoop
with joy.
There are also the formal affairs organized by schools, universities and
private organizations. The splendour of the event and the gifts vary in
proportion to the donations received. Some are organized on a grand scale and
there is a large gathering to pay homage to the elders invited. There was
such a ceremony to pay homage to elderly retired teachers of Mandalay
University on 25th October, 1997, which also coincided with the Golden
Jubilee of the University. Yet the festivities and grandeur of the occasion
could not diminish the essence of the homage nor the close and warm relations
that had stood the test of time, between the former students, some of whom
are at present serving in high-ranking academic and administrative positions,
and their old teachers. It was indeed a heart-warming experience.
As long as the Myanmar people are able to preserve such traditional values
and customs, Myanmar will continue to flourish as a nation. She may not be a
developed nation in terms of material wealth by western standards, but her
people possess a far richer generosity of spirit and a deep sense of humility
and gratitude beyond compare, which will help her overcome many difficulties
and obstacles in national development.
The young pay homage to their elders in humility, but the elders themselves
feel an equal sense of humility. How can they not? To have another human
being such as oneself, sit at your feet and bow their heads in gratitude is
indeed a chastening experience. For it lays a great responsibility on the
person who receives the homage and one is obliged to examine oneself for
worthiness and do the best to live up to such devotion and respect.
KYI KYI HLA
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