Hi, ILet's stop complaining about why you See Asian girls dating other Race guys, What can we do about it?

[jky...@yahoo.com]

Hi, instead of always complaining about why we see Asian girls dating
other race guys and always concentrating on the negative side of this,
what can we do as Asian males to become the leaders of our own domain
instead of the "victim" mentality of seeing an Asian girl not caring
about us Asian males and dissing us big time?

In other words, what can we do? Is it a matter of lack of
confidence? Is that the main issue? Because I know confidence is one
of the most attractive thing to a girl or to anyone. So what is it?
What practical steps can we take to step up to the plate and hit that
home run and not just sit on the sidelines like the Whimps that some of
us have been and some of us have been complaining about?

I'm tired of not doing anything, so what could we do? Any Asian
Woman or Asian Male or any race person advice would be helpful.

Thank you.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

Probably alot of Asian girls who have a negative attitude about
dating Asian males are just so sick of us being Whimpy or lacking the
confidence or being so uptight and "traditional". Some Asian males, I
hope I'm not that type, do try and pigeon hole the Asian female into
"traditional" roles of how they feel an Asian female should act. So
some of these Asian females rebel against this. I pray I am more
contemporary and not like that.
But again, what can we as Asian males do to date Asian females
instead of always taking on that "vicim" mentality that sees us sitting
on the sidelines and being "wallflowers" alot of the time?

Thanks.

[brushoff]

Asian male here marrying a black lady and having beautiful kids what
was wrong with that? Love=follows your heart

[PeterL]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Hi, instead of always complaining about why we see Asian girls dating
> other race guys and always concentrating on the negative side of this,
> what can we do as Asian males to become the leaders of our own domain
> instead of the "victim" mentality of seeing an Asian girl not caring
> about us Asian males and dissing us big time?

Maybe she dates a person because she likes that person? It has nothing
to do with dissing you. In fact it has nothing to do with you. The
world don't revolve around you, you know.

[Zuo Tung]

Tiger Woods.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

Again, what can we do as Asian males so we don't take on that victim
mentality. I know some Asian females marry for love, you're right no
matter the race of the person. But I also know that some Asian females
are turned off by Asian males and are adamant about this. There is
that mentality around. So again I ask what practical steps can we as
Asian Males do to make sure we are not that victim role and what can we
do to make sure we control our happiness a little better.

Thanks.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

OK, please let me clarify this, I agree that Asian Females marry for
pure love no matter the race. And there are also Asian Males who marry
for pure love no matter the race. And there are Asian Females who
aren't attracted to Asian Males.
So I'm discussing about a large sector or segment of those Asian
Females who have a negative perception or attitude in that they would
never date an Asian Male and are totally against that notion and only
date Men of other races. I'm addressing that segment of society which
I think many Asian Males complain about.
Basically I'm asking what can we do as Asian Males to help us not
be so abhorrent or unattractive to this group of Asian Females? Is it
a self confidence issue? Is it an image issue? Can someone here
please give me practical steps we can take or give us tips or self
improvement techniques or ideas about how to improve ourselves?

Thanks.

I'd appreciate some honest and helpful tips and would be thankful if
you could offer some.

[RichAsianKid]

Hopefully helpful comments:

1. $ works best - there is no mincing of words here - if you're poor
you're at a really perhaps permanent disadvantage (I'm in for the sex
so it's not important whether they really love you or not - it's not a
long time relationship anyway) -- btw there is in fact reason for this
- sociobiological - to produce children men only need a few minutes & a
'loving spoonful' of semen; women need 9 months & maybe a few months of
breast milk (hey I didn't make these things up - these are written in
textbooks. I love biology)

2. Good looks wouldn't hurt (again, surrogate marker for genetic
health -- I'm treating this as a scientific newsgroup; I gotta sound
like a geek!)

3. Surprisingly brains work - a gf of mine said the sexiest organ is
the brain (not like that T-shirt with black bold letters pointing out
at the navel: The man [arrow up] The legend [arrow down])

4. Failing all that, occasionally a little research helps (what, I care
about the environment too! I'm an environmentalist! I care about the
Brazilian rainforest! Or: I love Impressionism. Claude Monet really
had artistic insight!) Sometimes be a little weaker. Reverse psych
never hurts.

[brushoff]

Tiger and his golf ball size, rating is up??? What rarism?

[data...@aol.com]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
... Any Asian

> Woman or Asian Male or any race person advice would be helpful.

Hi,

I have read a statistic taken from census data showing that 70% of
Japanese American women marry outside of their race, I would imagine
most of this would be 'rich' white men or to be more politically
correct European Americans. The article claimed it was hard for
Japanese American men, thus, to maintain a Japanese American culture,
because there would not be an American born Japanese woman for every
man.

I think that just as a given Asian American man (since this is the
Asian American chat) may only find sexually appealing Asian American
women, an Asian American woman has the right to find European American
men sexually attratctive to the exclusion of all others. People cannot
help their sexual orientation be it an attraction to men or women or
just to men or women with particular racial characteristics. I hope
everybody reading here has a deep seated prejudice in their sexuality,
that they do not find people of a very young age attractive!

I do have sympathy for Asian American men desiring to keep an Asian
Amerian culture and indentity with who they marry. At the end of the
day, is a WASP chasing Asian American woman gushing over 'rich white
man' what you'd want, is she worth your time to try and impress?

Although the best thing any man can do is treat women with respect and
understanding, I agree with the previous poster about a man's financial
situtation being attractive to a woman. The preference of some high
achieving Asian American women for European American men over high
achieving Asian American men must come down to a immutable physical
preference because I have had Japanese American women in my family that
have ended up wedded to white guys but had extensively dated Asian
Americans both whole working for a big NY financier and studying at
universities in New York and California with no complaints about them.
I have asked about this and the white men weren't slobbering asiaphiles
and the Asian Americans were nice, just like any other nice guy. I
guess that is the way to be, just a nice guy and stop worrying about
race and racists!

[RichAsianKid]

I'm now replying to my own posts. Not a good sign. Like that other guy
in scc or somewhere. Anyway to clarify that's why I think women have a
reason to love guys who are rich. Women do the work, and guys have to
compensate in the form of resources.

Wife = very expensive
Girlfriend = less expensive
One night stand = cheap

Used to be this way.....but with contraception, reproductive success is
no longer hinged with mating success. But these residual urges are
still present. By the way, how many of you prefer rich old women? They
cannot reproduce anymore. News show us however routinely that top
ranking rich old men prefer younger trophy wives, even if they are
poor.

>
> 2. Good looks wouldn't hurt (again, surrogate marker for genetic
> health -- I'm treating this as a scientific newsgroup; I gotta sound
> like a geek!)
>

Spent time to search this. OK. Let's elaborate on this. If you look
like this very cute asian, I think $ will not buy you too much in the
market at all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl9wtNOJcOA&search=young%20asian

An eurasian gf of mine said I should highlight all my hair bleach
blonde as that would look really 'cute' on me. Hmmmm.

I did a search on this and actually this look is quite popular in the
East. Take a look at this singer in Korea (again! I know! How many
times do I have to go into boybands [I think he's of a group there]!! I
guarantee that's not a fetish.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec80tqAfVfw&search=minwoo%20tribute

Far East and North American ideals may be different.

> 3. Surprisingly brains work - a gf of mine said the sexiest organ is
> the brain (not like that T-shirt with black bold letters pointing out
> at the navel: The man [arrow up] The legend [arrow down])
>

Few men would want women smart for brief flings I guess. (A wife may be
different) I find the stereotypical dumb blonde chicks quite easy
actually. I'd also forgo those in the science department - especially
Caucasian brunettes in thick glasses. Many are not just butchy but
bitchy. They have been very indoctrinated with feminism and are quite
hostile to men and are really desperate for that Fields medal in math
or whatever to prove their worth. White women = more difficult than
Asian women if you are talking about this group.

Also, black women (not that I much desire them) seem quite difficult to
get (for Asians). But I don't know enough about this area.

Also, I've read in other newsgroups that many whites are envious of
blacks ('once you go black, you never go back') - especially lower
middle class women who love to date blacks. I don't know much about
this as I grew up in an area where there has not been a single black or
hispanic kid in my elementary or high school.

> 4. Failing all that, occasionally a little research helps (what, I care
> about the environment too! I'm an environmentalist! I care about the
> Brazilian rainforest! Or: I love Impressionism. Claude Monet really
> had artistic insight!) Sometimes be a little weaker. Reverse psych
> never hurts.

See that hair dye comment above.

cc.d this to other ngs for comments.

[Ira Humperdink MD <irahumperdinkMD@hotmail.com>]

you masterbate a lot. we don't really want to hear about it.

[James Kirk]

you must be his teacher.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

I'm a Japanese American Asian male. The fact that 70% of my ethnicity
of girls intermarry leaves me not much of a chance. I guess I have to
try and develop alot of self confidence and of course money would help.
The results speak for themselves, I am at a disadvantage. Sucks, but
I guess I've got to keep trying. :( Maybe one day I'll succeed. :)

Peace.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

Money is an issue, but I'm sure Asian males make as much money as
Caucasian males, so that's irrelevant. And looks are not really
relevant because since were both Asians (Asian males and women), we
both basically look the same and should have an equal amount or chance
to marry the same percentage of people.

I think when you get right down to it it's a matter of Asian males
don't have alot of confidence compared to Caucasian males since we are
the Minority. And because of this lack of confidence, we don't take
the chances so that's why the percentage of Asian Women marrying
outside of their race is so much higher than those of men.

But anyways, what else advice can you offer so we might improve
ourselves and have as much chance as Asian Women to marry who we want
to marry?

Thanks.

[J.Venning]

<jky...@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:1140279475....@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...

You can do everyone a favour by telling us what exactly you think the girl, whom you want to marry, will gain from actually marrying you (other than become your house keeper, be a servant to your mother, and produce babies for you)? Do you expect her to go out and work to support you as well?
J.

[James]

In my experience Asian Americans tend to date other Asian Americans.
Of course If you are the only Asian in your neighborhood, school, work,
or church, chances are you'll be dating non-Asians. For example
Yamaguci probably didn't see another Asian skater or coach. Natually
she had slim pickings and had to settle for something else.

If you want a Japanese American mate, go out of you way to join a
Japanese American church.

Sometimes you have to settle for other Asians if the Asian population
is just too small. Korean might have to go with Japanese if there are
few Koreans of the same age.

[J.Venning]

"James" <j006...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:1140311380....@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...

You seem to have a big hang-up about courtship amongst Americans with Oriental ethnic descent. Is this a common attitude, or is it just a few? I meet people from all walks of life coming from different social strata in the United States, and I haven't noticed any problems towards racial inter-marriage. Of course I haven't actually lived amongst them, nor have I gone through the stages of courtship at your age amongst them. I think what you should do is not to consider your self as an "Asian American" and behave like one, but to consider yourself as an "American with Oriental physical features" and behave like a human being. Give it a shot, and see what happens.
J.

[me]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Probably alot of Asian girls who have a negative attitude about
> dating Asian males are just so sick of us being Whimpy or lacking the
> confidence or being so uptight and "traditional".

May be Asian mens expects women especially Asian women to do all the
cooking and cleaning, etc. and not chip in? And also, deep down, may
be Asain men are yearning to have sex with white women and not value
Asian women the right way.

>Some Asian males, I
> hope I'm not that type, do try and pigeon hole the Asian female into
> "traditional" roles of how they feel an Asian female should act.

Ahh, you said it. You see, I was a just responsing w/o finishing
reading the rest and you seem to already know what's the problem.

>So
> some of these Asian females rebel against this. I pray I am more
> contemporary and not like that.

> But again, what can we as Asian males do to date Asian females

> instead of always taking on that "victim" mentality that sees us sitting

> on the sidelines and being "wallflowers" alot of the time?

Pursue, pursue, pursue. If you pursue hard enough, you will catch
someone.

>
> Thanks.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

Me, no, I am not one of those who feel the Asian Woman should be
traditional or anything like that. But just as any man of any race, we
have got to be careful not to pigeon hole the girl into a traditional
role. I ain't one of those people. But I don't think that's just an
Asian problem, I think any race can get into notion of wanting the girl
to be subservient to them and want that traditional Woman role for
their Spouse, no matter what race. I'm just saying I am not one of
those, I didn't mean to infer I was. Sorry if you misinterpreted me.
Yes, you're right, pursue, pursue, pursue, if I try hard enough I will
find someone.
J. Venning, again, I don't want the girl to be my servant role.
Maybe guys of other races, but I don't. And maybe some don't have a
problem with interracial marriages. That's their view.
I'm not saying I do or don't have a problem. What I'm saying is
that there is a segment of Asian Women out there who will not date
Asian males any more. A growing segment who are very negatively biased
and find the notion of dating an Asian male negative or backwards and
not attractive. I'm talking about finding practical ways to give
myself more of a chance to date Asian Women. Just like there are books
out there on learning practical tips to date Women, Now I'm asking for
tips or practical tips to date Girls of my own race who I am most
attracted to. That's all I'm asking.
If anyone has any tips, I'm still open to them. If not, then I
have got to try and raise my confidence and be as positive and
confident I can be because again I've heard or read that "Confidence"
is the most attractive characteristic that Women say that turns them
on. So if no one else has any practical tips to increase my chances,
I've got to increase my own chances my own way.

Thanks.

[me]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
[..]

> What I'm saying is
> that there is a segment of Asian Women out there who will not date
> Asian males any more. A growing segment who are very negatively biased
> and find the notion of dating an Asian male negative or backwards and
> not attractive. I'm talking about finding practical ways to give
> myself more of a chance to date Asian Women.

First why do you think these women don't give a chance to Asian men?
Could it have something to do with Asian men expecting Asian women to
be chaste, and sexually not as free as men?

What it boils down to is that people will be attracted to people who
have similar view on issues and out look on life.

[jky...@yahoo.com]

And "me" who are you to say that Asian men expect Asian women to be one
way or another. If you are not Asian, how do you know how Asian men
feel. But you know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe there are some
Asian men who feel Asian Women should fill particular roles as "Women",
but there are also Caucasian or African men who also have these
stereotypical thoughts of what Women should be. So no matter what
race, men of all races have these preconceived notions or ideals.
But not all men do. Not all Asian, Caucasian, African, Latin, and
other races do. I don't want my particular girl to be pigeonholed into
that role. So please don't made broad generalizations.

Now, you are correct that there are a segment of Asian men who
feel this way about wanting their girlfriend or wife to fill particular
traditional roles, and there are also percentage of Asian girls who
will not date Asian men. That is fact.

All I'm asking for is advice from Asian and Non-Asian people about
how I can make myself more appealing for improve myself to have a
better chance of dating who I want to marry or date. Again, if someone
had practical tips, I'd appreciate it. And I don't have preconceived
notions of wanting a girl to be subservient to me. So please
understand that.

Any practical tips would be very appreciated and I would be very
thankful.

Thanks.

[RichAsianKid]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Money is an issue, but I'm sure Asian males make as much money as
> Caucasian males, so that's irrelevant. And looks are not really
> relevant because since were both Asians (Asian males and women), we
> both basically look the same and should have an equal amount or chance
> to marry the same percentage of people.

I've posted this to another thread but just so there is no confusion to
my point:
I raised this issue in the other thread - I'm not referring to a few
thousands of dollars in the household incomes between Asians and
Caucasians - in fact I think if you adjust the income per capita
Caucasians outscore Asians. I was thinking about money in 1/2 log scale
- like a roughly 3.1 times difference that I define as separating
classes, very arbitarily. Thus if you make $100 k per year vs someone
who makes $ 310 k per year vs someone who makes $1 million per year,
that makes a difference. Just to clarify.

(May I also suggest that, as a last resort, that you can just go over
to the China and buy a girlfriend or even wife or whatever. Or just go
to Czech republic or Russia.)

[me]

jky...@yahoo.com wrote:
> And "me" who are you to say that Asian men expect Asian women to be one
> way or another. If you are not Asian, how do you know how Asian men
> feel.

I am an Aisna, born and raised in Asia.

>But you know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe there are some
> Asian men who feel Asian Women should fill particular roles as "Women",
> but there are also Caucasian or African men who also have these
> stereotypical thoughts of what Women should be. So no matter what
> race, men of all races have these preconceived notions or ideals.

But there are more among Asian men.

> But not all men do. Not all Asian, Caucasian, African, Latin, and
> other races do. I don't want my particular girl to be pigeonholed into
> that role. So please don't made broad generalizations.
>
> Now, you are correct that there are a segment of Asian men who
> feel this way about wanting their girlfriend or wife to fill particular
> traditional roles, and there are also percentage of Asian girls who
> will not date Asian men. That is fact.

>
> All I'm asking for is advice from Asian and Non-Asian people about
> how I can make myself more appealing for improve myself to have a
> better chance of dating who I want to marry or date. Again, if someone
> had practical tips, I'd appreciate it. And I don't have preconceived
> notions of wanting a girl to be subservient to me. So please
> understand that.

I think you just don't want any Asian girls going to men other than
Asian. Is that so?

>
> Any practical tips would be very appreciated and I would be very
> thankful.

I already gave you practical tips. Just look for someone with similar
outlook on life and belief in issue. Usually, it is easier to find it
among one's own ethnic group but when the pool is small, you have to
expand your horizon.

>
> Thanks.

[Zuo Tung]

I agree. It's all about who you hang around with.

[Zuo Tung]

It just all venting. White men are all flustered about losing their
woment to black guys so they have to pick on Asian guys.

[Ira Humperdink MD <irahumperdinkMD@hotmail.com>]

asian men should stick to asian women. simple as that.

[camy]

where would that leave you, bastard?

[jky...@yahoo.com]

So Me, you're basically sticking up for the Asian girls who diss Asian
guys, am I correct? Basically you're rationalizing that Asian men
deserve to be treated like this from Asian girls because they treat
Asian Women with disrespect and don't allow Women to be free? You're
rationalizing and making this claim when I don't of really anyone close
to me who even has these feelings about Women. You're entitled to your
own opinion, but I'm talking about Asian girls who have very mean
intentions towards Asian guys who have more modern thinking and don't
want to pigeon hole these girls into a stereotypical role. These Asian
guys only fault according to these Asian Women is that they are Asian.
So they wouldn't even date them to begin with. So again, I'm
basically trying to get some practical tips to possibly counter these
negative attitudes these Women have towards Asian guys. Again, if you
have any, I would appreciate it.

Also, I don't deny that some Asian men don't Asian Women to be
sexually as free as you said and are want a conservative type of girl
and traditional type of girl. There are those men out there. I'm
talking about Asian men who are modern and don't stereotype Asian
girls.

Me, just curious, are you a girl? Maybe if you are, maybe you
have these feelings towards Asian men. If you do, maybe you hang out
with Asian men who are more traditional and don't have more of the
modern feelings towards Asian Women. But I also want to say that there
are alot of other men of different races that also have these
attitudes. Whether there are more Asian men with these traditional
and conservative attitudes, I don't know. But whatever the
percentages, both Asian men and other race men have these attitudes,
it's not just an Asian thing. Again, maybe Asian men have more of this
attitude than other races, but who knows.

Again, any practical tips would be appreciated on how to counter
this negative attitude that some Innocent Asian who are modern thinkers
could use to help them date who they want to.

Thanks.

[RichAsianKid]

Here's another tip. Date a non-Asian, preferrably white girl. Then
flaunt your latest gf in front of these Asian girls who dissed you.
That'd be your sweet revenge.