disparity in Asian/white interracial dating FAQ
TANAKA Tomoyuki
Posting-Frequency: at most once every two or three months
Version: 7 (about 1300 lines)
Last-modified: 1995 3/1
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new in this version:
evolutionary psychology (Symons, Wright, Buss)
"The Joy Luck Club", "M. Butterfly"
comments by Sahai, Urushibata, Wilkinson
(NOTE non-reasons for the disparity)
see the version info at the end for the changes since version 4.
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2. title: "disparity in Asian/white interracial dating FAQ"
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(abstract (contents))
I speculate on the reasons why there are much more WM/AF (white
male/Asian female) couples than AM/WF couples in the USA.
(0) Statistical and legal facts
Causes of the disparity:
(1) racism, asymmetric conception of marriage, and "marrying up"
(2) male-dominant dating custom and AM timidity/"unattractiveness"
(3) pervasive media bias
(4) feminism and sexism
(4.1) WMs intimidated by feminism, mail-order brides
(4.2) AFs escaping poverty and sexism in Asia
(4.3) first generation AMs intimidated by assertive American women
(4.4) AMs expected to carry on the family line
(4.5) AAFs believe AAMs are sexist
(4.6) AF attractiveness enhanced by sexist ideal of beauty
(5) the height factor
(5.1) Is height a big factor?
(5.2) the origins of the height factor
(5.3) not so innocuous aspects of the height factor
(5.3.1) the sexist element of the height factor
(5.3.2) A part of the height factor may be related to racism.
(6) war brides and businessmen's brides
(7) colonization: national images of the conqueror and the subservient
(Conclusion)
(NOTE published material on the subject of this article)
(NOTE B/W couples)
(NOTE B/A couples)
(NOTE non-reasons for the disparity)
(Appendix A) suggestions on dating for shy AMs
(Appendix B) Alan Hu's Section 9
(References)
(In this article "Asians" include "Asian Americans" unless context
implies otherwise. When I say "Asians" I have in mind East Asians
(Japanese, Chinese, Korean) and, to a lesser extent, Southeast
Asians (Vietnamese, Filipino). There seems to be little disparity
in either direction for Indian/white marriages.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Introduction)
Some time ago I read a very well written article on Usenet
on interracial dating by Alan Hu [ajh 1994] (see References at
the end). His article covers such topics as:
--- is there anything wrong with interracial relationships,
and why do people always make a big deal about them?
--- what are some stupid explanations for the disparity
and why are they wrong?
--- why is media bias so powerful?
--- what should we do about all this? (see Appendix B)
I've been interested in the issues surrounding interracial
dating for the last 10 years or so, and I've always wanted to
write an article on it, but I was discouraged by the size of the
task. Alan Hu's views on the subject were similar to mine, and
what's left to be said didn't seem like an impossibly large
amount. I felt that I could complement his article by providing
more analysis of the reasons for the disparity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(0) Statistical and legal facts
(0.1) Statistical facts
--- The ratio of WM/AF married couples to AM/WF counterparts is
3.3 (to 1) in the USA, according to calculations based on data
presented in the paper [Lee and Yamanaka 1990].
For US-born Asian Americans (second and later generations) the
ratio is 1.7.
For foreign-born Asian Americans (first generation) the ratio
is 4.8. If I take out Indians from the group (leaving Japanese,
Chinese, Korean Vietnamese, Filipino) the ratio is 7.0.
--- According to the San Francisco Chronicle/Examiner (Sunday
_Image_ supplement, December 2, 1990) WM/AAF marriages
outnumber AAM/WF marriages by 4 to 1 in San Francisco.
In Sacramento the ratio is 8 to 1 [ajh 1994].
(Tanaka's note: People I've talked to in the various parts
of this country told me that these ratios seem too low.
That is, the observed ratio from real life is somewhere
between 10:1 and 20:1. We suspect two reasons for this
discrepancy: (i) Most of the A/W couples that we see are
casually dating, not married (and will not marry). Among
dating couples the ratio is somewhere between 10:1 and
20:1. see Sahai's comments. (ii) The Hawaii factor.)
(0.2) Legal facts
--- "Only in 1948 were California's antimiscegenation statutes
declared unconstitutional, and it was not until 1967 that all
such statutes in the United States were removed from the books
or lapsed from disuse." [Chan 1991, Pages 60-61]
In other words, only 3 or 4 decades ago interracial marriage was
illegal in some states and socially unacceptable in the USA as a
whole.
--- However, even then, WM/AF couples were legally (and socially)
accepted as exceptions by laws such as the War Brides Act of 1945.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Causes of the disparity)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) racism, asymmetric conception of marriage, and "marrying up"
Why is it that in married couples the men tend to be slightly
older? men wanting younger mates and women wanting older mates
seems to be a human universal [Buss 1994].
This is the result of several competing pressures. On
one hand there is a pressure to keep partners close in age, so
that they may have more in common. On the other hand, there
are pressures to prefer a younger wife:
--- Female beauty and youth is valued so much, especially for a
wife. In the old days when medicine was not as advanced,
it was crucial for a wife to be young and healthy so that
she may have many, healthy children.
--- in men, qualities more valued than physical appearance and
youth are wealth and social status, both of which are
correlated with higher age [Buss 1994].
--- A marriage has had the aspect of the "wife serving the
master", doing the housework for him and raising his
children. It was somehow more natural for a younger person
to be serving an older, more accomplished person.
asymmetric conception of dating and marriage
The latter factor is the view that sees dating and marriage not
as meeting of two equals but as a union of the dominant and the
subservient. Sex is seen by many not as an activity between two
equal participants but as something that a man "does" to a woman
(I'm talking about heterosexual sex). Don't we (both men and
women) say "fuck you!" to express hostility and superiority?
Even for apes, mounting is a ritual of domination.
Racism affects Asians, whites, and others alike, and makes
people have the idea that whites are better or superior
[Daniels and Kitano 1970] [Tanaka 1994 V.Chin].
This combines with the asymmetric conception of dating and
marriage to produce the effect that a WM/AF couple is much more
acceptable than a AM/WF couple. An image of an AM/WF couple
just "doesn't seem right". It strikes a nerve. This is why we
see so few AMs in romantic relationships with WFs on TV and in
films (even, or especially, porno videos).
--- When a WM starts dating an AF, either he receives no special
resistance or comments, or he will receive both positive
and negative comments from his peers and family.
--- When a WF starts dating an AM, she gets mostly racist
comments from her peers and family:
"You are very attractive and intelligent and everything.
You can get ANY guy you wanted. WHY do you have to go
out with that ASIAN guy?"
People care about what other people think about them, especially
their friends and family. This striking difference in the
reactions to the two kinds of A/W interracial dating may be the
largest reason for the disparity.
(impressionistic) I'd say in the mainland USA, 80% of WFs will
not consider dating an AM. there may be regional differences
making the percentages, perhaps, 70% in California and 90% in
Indiana. much smaller percentage (10-30%) of WMs will rule out
the possibility of dating AFs. the percentage of AMs and AFs
who would not date whites solely because of race, I think, is
very small (5-20%).
"marrying up"
In many societies (including this one), it has traditionally
been more common for a female to "marry up" in the social
hierarchy than for a male to "marry up". I believe this
tendency is caused by the following. Since the male child
carries the family name and maintains the social status in the
hierarchy, there is an incentive for a woman to marry up to that
level, so that she may enjoy higher status and wealth. On the
other hand, there is no incentive for a man to marry up. No
upward movement in the hierarchy results from such a marriage,
and the couple may be uncomfortable because a person of higher
origin would be "serving" a person of lower origin.
(I have to change the above paragraph in at least two
ways: (a) In a really traditional society (like pre-WW2
Japan), it wasn't women who wanted to marry up; it was
their fathers who wanted to use their daughters as
tools. (b) There may be some incentive for AMs to
"marry up" to the white level as well.)
Such thinking is still strong among the women today. In the New
York area Ginie Polo Sayles offers a course called "How to marry
the rich" targeted at such women based on her book by the same name.
In an interracial context the motivation is mainly
socio-psychological rather than financial, since Asians and
whites in the USA earn roughly the same amount on average.
AFs would want to "marry up" socio-psychologically by marrying
WMs. There is less incentive for AMs to "marry up" to WFs.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(2) male-dominant dating custom and AM timidity/"unattractiveness"
(2.1) male-dominant dating custom
Even though dating customs have been changing in this country
for the last few decades, it is still considered more normal
for men to ask women out. Usually men take the initiative,
planning things, thinking of things to do, ..., even bringing
up the big question, "Will you marry me?" All the women have
to do is to say YES or NO.
(2.1.1) biological basis of the male-dominant dating custom
males taking the initiative in courtship --- this is found in
all (?) human societies, all apes, all mammals, ..., in almost
all species of animals. now scientists believe that this
disparity is biological, and explained as follows.
for most species of animals, the potential rate of reproduction
is much higher for males than for females. for example, a
human male can impregnate a different female every day
(potential reproduction rate: 1/day), whereas a human female
can get pregnant only once a year (potential reproduction
rate: 1/year). for such a species, sexual aggressiveness in
males is an evolutionary advantage, much more so than in
females. a good strategy for females is to fend off unwanted
males until a male showing promises of good genes comes along.
while human behavior is heavily influenced by culture, behavior
of other animals are entirely (or mostly) biologically determined.
scientists (evolutionary psychologists) now believe that many
aspects of basic human behavior are based on biology.
(Martin Phipps <cxm...@musica.mcgill.ca> pointed this out.
see [Symons 1979] [Wright 1994].)
(2.2) AM timidity/cautiousness in dating
Almost all people I have talked to said that they think AMs are
more well-behaved, timid, unadventurous, ... compared to WMs,
although media images may be influential in the formation of
such impressions. While this tendency may be slight in many
other situations in life, it is more marked in a dating
situation. Consider how gay people are cautious about
approaching people they are attracted to. I find myself being
similarly cautious in these situations --- just as gay people
wonder, "Is he (or she) straight?", I wonder, "She's cute, but
would she be interested in an Asian guy?"
This timidity/cautiousness in dating is caused by the following.
(2.2.1) American racism and discrimination causing general politeness
and conservative thinking.
American society generally expects AMs to be more passive
and quiet. sometimes, American society *DEMANDS* AMs to be
passive and quiet. consider the case of Vincent Chin: when he
was harassed with racial slurs and epithets, he didn't just
keep quiet as he was expected to; instead, he talked back to a
white man, and hit him. a fistfight ensued. this upset Ronald
Ebens so much that he drove around for 20 minutes looking for
Chin, and beat Chin to death with a baseball bat. American
legal system decided that the killing was semi-justified by
giving Ebens a very light sentence (fines and probation).
[Tanaka 1994 V.Chin]
Even Asian-Americans born and reared in the US get such
remarks as "We don't want your kind around here. Go back to
your own country." [NY Times 1994].
As a result:
--- Asians tend to be well-behaved, polite, etc. to avoid such
remarks and behavior.
(I wonder if there is a way to prove this tendency
empirically. What kind of statistics would support
this? Asian vs white ratio comparisons of explorers,
anti-establishment activists (journalists), etc?)
--- Asians tend to be more practical, conservative, and
unadventurous in their thinking. This tendency, together with
(i) Asian value system emphasizing education and (ii)
suitability of technical careers for first-generation
Asian-Americans with below average language skills, results in
the disproportionately large presense of AMs in practical fields
such as engineering, computers, and medicine.
(2.2.2) AMs are perceived as less attractive than WMs (see below),
resulting in such remarks as, "WHY do you have to go out with
that ASIAN guy?" (Section (1)), causing AMs to be extra cautious
in potential dating situations.
(2.2.3) Asian conception of dating
Dating, asking women out, hitting on women, ... these are less
expected of men in Asian cultures than in American culture
(which, in turn, may expect it less than in Italian or Mexican
cultures). A Japanese female I know told me that compared to
when she was living in Japan, in this country she gets hit on
10 or 20 as often. First generation AMs typically are too
"gutless" when it comes to these things, even though this
effect is smaller in second, third, and later generations.
| From: Anant Sahai <sa...@mit.edu>
|
| You (in my mind rightly) assert that AMs are less "adventurous"
| about asking females out. I think that there is an additional
| reason for this that you have not mentioned: the difference in
| the conceptions of dating.
|
| It seems to me that "white society" does not consider dating
| relationships to be that serious. They are considered to be
| temporary and a time for experimentation and "learning about
| yourself." This can be seen by phrases such as "he's just
| sowing his wild oats" and the like. In contrast, it seems to
| me that Asians do not share this attitude. To us (I am
| Indian), interpersonal relationships are far more important.
| This leads to a certain cautious and reserved nature.
|
| So, it is quite possible for a WM who does not seriously
| consider the probability of marrying an AF to go out with one
| "just to see what it is like" or to "get it out of his
| system." NOTE: This is not considered to be devious or evil by
| his society. An AM would be far less likely to just "try it
| out."
(2.2.4) Limited English (first generation AMs)
I have observed that Japanese females become fluent in spoken
English in the USA much more quickly than Japanese males do.
see Urushibata's comments in Section (4.4).
(2.3) AM "unattractiveness"
AMs are perceived as less attractive than WMs.
This is caused by the following.
1. racism. The white race is seen as better or superior.
2. media bias. See Section (3).
3. AM lack of confidence
All these factors may result in the sense of inferiority and
lack of confidence in the AMs. Such feelings and expectations
can be self-fulfilling. This is a big factor in dating.
4. AM well-behaved-ness
WMs tend to be less well-behaved and more boorish, but these
qualities constitute elements of male attractiveness.
"Arnold and Stallone are typical of the American idea of
masculinity. We're talking huge proportions, hairy chests
and sheer physical prowess capable of massive quantities of
senseless violence. IQ is optional, and Alan Alda is still a
wimp." [arthurhu 1994 (1990?)]
(2.4) how these factors combine
--- AMs will not be as active in dating, especially in asking WFs
out (because of timidity), and when they do, they have less
chance of success (because of perceived "unattractiveness", and
because of other factors discussed in this article).
--- There is something a bit adventurous about dating or marrying
out of one's race. WMs are more adventurous (less cautious)
than AMs. This contributes to the disparity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(3) pervasive media bias
The image of Asian-Americans and Asians as integral and common
part of society is severely under-represented in the media
[booklet "Asian Pacific Americans", Page 10].
When Asians do appear they are represented in a very skewed way
[Tanaka 1995 misconceptions].
Alan Hu writes in [ajh 1994]:
|
| [...] Asian men are portrayed as: asexual martial arts
| masters, asexual viet cong guerrillas, asexual servants, and
| asexual geeks.
| Asian women get to be prostitutes, geisha,
| repressed-daughters-named-May-Ling-of-cruel-oppressive-
| emperors-(there's another male role)-waiting-to-be-sexually-
| liberated-by-a-real-(white)-man, and recently, newscasters.
| [...]
| As another data point, look at the (infrequent) interracial
| couples in films: the man is almost invariably white.
|
| You may say, "Media bias shmedia bias, that's just for
| weak-minded people." If you doubt the tremendous influence
| the media has on what we know and how we think, consider
| these questions.
|
| --- Who is the president of the US? How do you know?
| --- What is the circumference of the Earth? How do you know?
| --- Who first invented movable-type printing? How do you know?
|
| If you were able to answer all of these questions based
| entirely on first-hand knowledge and your acute mental
| powers, I'll be thoroughly impressed.
The media consistently portrays WM, WF, and AF as attractive,
and AM as unattractive. The film "The Joy Luck Club" presents
this clear categorization.
--- Asian females are beautiful and good.
--- Asian males are sexist and bad.
--- white males are good.
see [Tanaka 1995 JLC].
Western men's fascination with "mysterious, sensuous Oriental
women" is more than a century old.
see [Wilkinson 1990] Chapter 12 Madam Chrysanthemum.
the image of attractive, affectionate Asian male is almost
nonexistent in the media.
there are some exceptions to the Asian stereotype:
the main character in the Taiwanese-American film "The
Wedding Banquet";
James Iha, the Japanese-American guitarist in Smashing
Pumpkins;
Russell Wong in the TV show "Vanishing Son"?;
Yo-Yo Ma; Brandon Lee; Lance Ito?
We need to have more of these.
(summary)
The pervasive media has the following effects:
--- We are influenced to perceive Asians as invisible and less
important than whites. We are also influenced to perceive
WM, WF, and AF as attractive, and AM as unattractive.
(This contributes to the factors discussed almost everywhere
in this article.)
--- In the media (and in real life) we are bombarded by images
of WM/AF couples: James Bond (and his clones) wooing Asian
girls, and John and Yoko, to name a few. This exposure
makes us see WM/AF couples as more normal or natural. We
are more conservative than we like to think, and to a large
extent we do what we think we are expected to do and avoid
what we are not expected to do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(4) feminism and sexism
(4.1) WMs intimidated by feminism, mail-order brides
Many conservative WMs feel pressured by the feminism movement in
the last decades. They can't quite adjust to the changing
times, and feel intimidated by the modern, more assertive women.
They have a hard time finding conservative women and try to
meet AFs, who they believe are more subservient than the WFs.
Some men go so far as to seek mail-order brides from Asia. But
these men are just a tip of the iceberg; for each man who turns to
such a service, there are hundreds (or perhaps thousands) of men
who try to meet Asian women on their own or through personal ads.
There is no corresponding pressure for a AM-WF match.
from [booklet "Asian Pacific Americans", Page 12]:
| Approximately 50 companies, whose clients are generally white
| men, provide catalogs of women from Asian Pacific countries,
| primarily the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and other
| Southeast Asian countries. The catalogs give names, physical
| descriptions, ages, addresses, and other information.
| Generally, the client corresponds with several women in the
| catalog until he finds a suitable wife.
| In a 1984 pamphlet, the founder of American Asian Worldwide
| Services describes the attraction of such women for American
| men: "(Asian Pacific women) are born with tradition for
| respect toward their fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, and
| husbands. They believe that husbands should be the head of the
| family. They do not believe in women's liberation."
(4.2) AFs escaping poverty and sexism in Asia
Many Asian cultures give women rather limited opportunities,
more so than to men. Thus when AFs arrive in the US they have
an incentive to escape from Asian culture and date or marry men
who (they believe) will give them "western style" freedoms. No
corresponding incentive for a AM/WF matching.
(4.3) first generation AMs intimidated by assertive American women
Some first generation AMs are so conservative that they are not
even interested in American women, because they (the AMs say)
are too assertive and pushy. It's probably also because
interracial dating is too daring a thought for them.
(4.4) AMs expected to carry on the family line
"Males were very important and privileged in the traditional
Japanese family. They, especially the eldest son, were
responsible for carrying on the family line. This
responsibility might have discouraged them from making
nontraditional marriages." [Tinker 1982]
This may apply to other Asian groups and to second and later
generations.
| From: Akira Urushibata <u...@yozan.co.jp>
| (slightly edited by Tanaka)
|
| You may have heard that among Japanese families who spend
| intermediate terms (a few years -- several years) in North
| America and Europe, male children tend to attend Japanese
| schools and female children tend to attend local schools.
| It is not uncommon for brothers and sisters from the same
| family to be attending different schools.
| (Tanaka personally thinks this is pretty uncommon.)
|
| Moreover, many boys go back to Japan before the rest of the
| family, to attend a junior high school or high school there,
| while girls often continue to college in the foreign country.
| I've never seen any statistics, although I've heard of it
| several times.
|
| Indeed, there is a Janglish word "bi-lin-gal" that refers to
| Japanese girls (or women) who have lived abroad and speak the
| foreign language fluently. There is no corresponding word for
| males in colloquial Japanese.
|
| See "Japan's `International Youth'" Roger Goodman, Oxford Univ.
| Press, Claredon Paperbacks, page 152.
(4.5) AAFs believe AAMs are sexist
Many Asian-American females believe that AMs are brought up in
more male-dominated households and therefore more sexist than
WMs. They believe that WMs are more likely to have undergone
the effects of feminism, and therefore more likely to be
liberal-minded.
(4.6) AF attractiveness enhanced by sexist ideal of beauty
The current ideal of female beauty in this country focuses on
slimness to the point of forcing many women to attempt crash
diets. Women used to want to look like Marilyn Monroe and Jane
Mansfield; now they want to have skinny legs like Julia
Roberts's. AFs are usually smaller and thinner, and by chance
happen to fit this ideal better. (slimness is also related to
looking young. Asians often look younger than their age.)
A similar coincidental factor is that WMs tend to be bigger
and taller than AMs, and large body-size is usually considered
attractive.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(5) the height factor
(5.1) Is height a big factor?
In the earlier versions of this article, this is all that I had
on the height factor in A/W dating disparity.
A similar coincidental factor is that WMs tend to be
bigger and taller than AMs, and large body-size is
usually considered attractive.
I didn't think it was such a big factor. We are not so
superficial that we are turned off by an otherwise-attractive
person just because that person is a little too short or too
tall, are we? I guess I never thought about it much because I'm
of average height for a Japanese male, and it was never an issue.
Then I came across this passage in a textbook.
The second condition for passionate love to occur is the
presence of an appropriate love object. For most
people, that means a physically attractive member of the
opposite sex, about the same age, with the male taller
than the female, and neither deeply involved in another
relationship.
(Baron and Byrne "Social Psychology" (5th ed.)
Allyn and Bacon, 1987. Page 209)
I was very surprised when I read this. Maybe the condition "the
male taller than the female" IS important for many people.
Maybe short males and tall females are having harder times in
dating than I had thought. If there is a large cultural
pressure to desire that the male be taller than the female in a
couple, then this would contribute to the disparity, and this
factor may be more significant than I had originally thought.
(5.2) the origins of the height factor
Many people seem to consider it desirable in a couple that the
male is taller than the female; in an "ideal" couple the male
would be a little taller than the female. How did this ideal
arise? A part of it must be that such a combination was most
common, and became an archetype.
the reason that males are usually bigger than females in humans
(and other primates?) must be the result of natural selection.
(I hope you believe in evolution.) The selection pressure
favored bigger, stronger males as fighters and hunters.
There is another, more subtle factor: perhaps our aesthetic
sense which makes big, strong-looking males seem attractive to
us may be biological or genetic [Buss 1994]. See Richard
Dawkins's book "The Selfish Gene" for the idea that behavioral
or psychological tendencies can be attributed to specific
genes, like genes for homosexuality.
Whatever the cause may be, this cultural pressure is there, and
since whites are taller than Asians on average, this contributes
to the disparity favoring WM/AF couples over AM/WF couples.
It's a factor that's purely coincidental and by chance (or
biological), and has nothing to do with racism or sexism, just
like if you get injured in an earthquake living in Tokyo (where
there are many earthquakes) instead of living in Indiana, you're
just unlucky, pure and simple. right?
(5.3) not so innocuous aspects of the height factor
Well, I don't believe that the height factor is entirely
coincidental and innocuous, for the following reasons.
(5.3.1) the sexist element of the height factor
The height factor is also supported by the image of a strong,
dominant male protecting the frail female, or perhaps the image
of a more important (significant) person being served by a less
important person. You could say that this cultural aspect,
related to the asymmetric conception of dating and marriage, is
an elaboration or exaggeration of genetic gender roles.
(5.3.2) A part of the height factor may be related to racism.
(This is a very subtle point.
Please just ignore it if you don't agree with it.)
(5.3.2.a) All white features become attractive features.
Once racism takes root in people's minds, it affects every
aspect of our aesthetics. All white features become attractive
features, not just height:
[1] light skin color
In Asian countries light skin color has always been an
attractive feature, for it was a sign of wealth and
nobility (not having to work outdoors farming, etc).
this trend was intensified by the Western influences.
this book (WAGATSUMA Hiroshi and YONEYAMA Tosinao,
"henken no kouzou" (structure of prejudice), NHK books,
1967) traces the changes in the Japanese aesthetic
standards through history, including those toward
whites and blacks.
You may wonder, "Then why do so many white people
have an obsession with tanning?" Well, that's a
different story (which doesn't weaken my argument in
any way). I read in the book "Manwatching" by Desmond
Morris years ago that (after Industrial Revolution) a
tan became a symbol of wealth. It shows that the
person is so rich that he/she can spend time frolicking
in the sun, instead of working indoors (e.g., in a
factory) all the time.
[2] light hair color
This must be the reason (or one of the reasons) why
blond hair is regarded so highly. I have heard
sometimes that blond females are no longer the standard
of beauty in this country. I disagree with this. Would
someone ask hairstylists the approximate ratio of number
of people who dye their hair lighter to that of people
who dye their hair darker (excluding those who are dyeing
their gray hair)?
[3] curly (but not "kinky") hair
[4] the shape of nose, eyes, forehead, ..., the whole face
In Japan this effect has been grave and insidious.
(The 7-year American occupation (see Section (7)) and
Hollywood movies were strong factors in this.)
[1] many women put makeup on their faces to look lighter
"One of these is the adoption of the Caucasian standards
for physical beauty. ... This is not a phenomenon
peculiar to the Japanese Americans, but one which seems
to be characteristic of many minorities. That the
blacks in the United States, at least for a long time,
adopted white standards of appearance is indicated by
the extensive advertisement and sale of skin bleaches
and hair straighteners." [Tinker 1973]
[2] many women dye their hair to a lighter color
[3] many women curl their hair
Japanese (or Asian) women perm their hair to look more
white. Blacks (used to) straighten their hair to look
more white. Malcolm X: "The white devil has taught you
to hate yourself so much that you put hot lye in your
hair to make it look like his hair."
(from "Autobiography of Malcolm X")
[4] many women have surgical operations on their noses, eyes, and
the rest of the faces to become more white-looking.
(A number of people have pointed out to me, "women with straight
hair get it curled; women with curly hair get it straightened."
That surely is a factor in perming hair, dyeing hair, cosmetic
surgery, ... . The principle is that in fashion (aesthetic sense)
humans are never satisfied with their bodies as they are.
Bernard Rudofsky, "Unfashionable human body" explores this issue.)
I've noticed that most movie actors and TV-stars in Asia have
relatively white features, indicating similar forces at work in
the rest of Asia.
(5.3.2.b) In the American media, the Asian male is a target of
mockery and derision, including his height.
I discuss the general case of this in Section (3) pervasive
media bias. Have you seen the movie "Gung-ho" (late 80s), with
the fierce mockery of the Japanese businessmen in the USA?
For the particular point of the Asian male's height, consider
the successful, Asian-looking midget actor who appeared in the
James Bond movie "Man with a golden gun" as a servant to
Salamanda(?) played by Christopher Lee. The actor may not be
Asian, but in the movie he speaks English with a weird,
fake-sounding Asian accent.
(I'm told that the actor, Herve Villechaize, was French. I
still maintain that the pretense in the film was that he was a
Pacific Islander. Do you remember the scene where he holds a
knife between his teeth and jumps from the ceiling? Also he
spoke English with an affected mock-Asian (definitely not
French) construction, like, instead of saying "I won't move."
he'd say "I no move." The story was set in Southeast Asia and
the script probably asked for a Pacific Islander.)
(5.3.2.c) summary
Therefore (following (a) and (b)), I am lead to believe that
although it is primarily the case that white males are considered
more attractive than Asian males because they are taller, there
is also a sense in which tallness is considered an attractive
feature because it is a white (as compared to Asian) feature.
In other words, even if tallness were not an attractive feature
by itself, it would still have become an attractive feature when
comparing WMs with AMs, just by the virtue of the fact that it's
a WM feature. In reality tallness is an attractive feature by
itself, and its effectiveness must be enhanced by the fact that
it's a WM feature.
"Aren't black guys taller?"
Some people have asked me, "blacks (black males) in the US seem
to be a little taller than whites on average. According to what
you're saying, doesn't this mean BMs are more attractive in this
respect than WMs?" My reply: height as an attractive feature is
not like, "the taller the better". The main thing is that the
male should be taller than the female in a couple. So I suppose
that height is not an issue with blacks as a group since they
are usually tall enough.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(6) war brides and businessmen's brides
Most of Americans who go to Asia and stay there long enough to
date are white males. They are typically businessmen and
soldiers. (it was pointed out to me that soldiers and business
people are mostly men because of traditional gender roles.)
Some of them bring back Asian brides. Even if they don't bring
back brides, some of them may have acquired a fondness for Asian
females.
I'm not sure how significant a factor this is in terms of
numbers. but war brides had a great impact in spreading the
notion that "Asians make good wives."
of course, this alone does not explain anything, because many
tens of thousands of Japanese businessmen and bankers are
stationed in the USA and Europe, much more than the American
and European businessmen in Japan [Wilkinson 1990, Page 220].
it is not the sheer number of stationed businessmen but other
factors in this article that cause the disparity.
from the excellent play and film, "M. Butterfly" (1994,
screenplay by David Henry Hwang):
Gallimard (French diplomat): [about the opera "Madame Butterfly"]
It's a very beautiful story. [...]
Song (Chinese singer): It's one of your favorite fantasies,
isn't it? the submissive Oriental woman and the cruel
white man. [...] Consider it this way: what would you
say if a blonde homecoming queen fell in love with a
short Japanese businessman? He treats her cruelly,
then goes home for three years, during which time she
prays to his picture and turns down marriage from a
young Kennedy. Then, when she learns he has remarried,
she kills herself. Now, I believe you would consider
this girl to be a deranged idiot, correct? But because
it's an Oriental who kills herself for a Westerner ---
ah! --- you find it beautiful.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(7) colonization: national images of the conqueror and the subservient
For the past centuries white westerners have invaded, conquered,
and colonized the lands of Asians and Asian-looking peoples
(indigenous Americans). In colonies the conquerors could do
anything they wanted with the locals, including the local
(Asian) women.
Take Japan for example. While Japan was occupied by the USA for
7 years starting 1945, it was common for American soldiers to
mug Japanese citizens, rape Japanese women, and to kill/harm
Japanese citizens and go unpunished. In occupied Japan the
press was forbidden to report the American soldiers' wrongdoings.
(Some of these cases are described in [Ienaga 1978].)
Poor women were forced to become prostitutes that catered to
American soldiers.
Japanese people thought then, "Since we lost the war and
unconditionally surrendered, they (Americans) can do whatever
they want with our country and our women, and we must bear the
humiliation."
Even today such things occur in Japan. In 1992 two American
soldiers fled Japan after becoming suspects in an armed
robbery. In 1993 an American soldier accused of raping a
Japanese woman escaped Japan. As far as I know neither the U.S.
Army nor U.S. government has taken measures to capture or try
these individuals [UPI 1993].
Perhaps this history has engraved in people's unconscious that
somehow there is something "normal" or "natural" about WM/AF
pairings (more so than the AM/WF counterparts). To the extent
that these images exist in people's minds they will contribute
to the disparity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Conclusion)
This disparity in A/W interracial dating that exists is a
manifestation of racism and sexism, mainly in the USA, and
historical imperialism.
(If you're not convinced, please take time to go over
the factors to see that almost all of them are linked to
racism, sexism, or imperialism.)
They cause biased images in the media, which in turn fuel more
racism and sexism.
I have no intention whatsoever to attack WM/AF couples --- WM/AF
couples in general, nor any particular WM/AF couples. I'm glad
they don't encounter great resistance from society. People
grow fond of each other between any races, ages, cultures,
nationalities, social classes, and other attributes, and some of
them date or get married. That's wonderful. However, there is
some resistance when the people are from different races. This
resistance is very great between an AM and a WF. There are
pressures to keep such a relationship from happening, and once
it's happened there are pressures to destroy it. I have
speculated on the nature of such pressures, which are ultimately
causing the disparity.
What I presented is only a speculation. It is not a deductive
proof in any sense. I saw a seemingly unusual phenomenon (the
disparity), and I thought and speculated about what could be
causing it. If you come up with something I haven't thought of,
please let me know.
As long as racism and sexism persist in this country, so will
this disparity. In my life I will do what I can to eliminate
racism and sexism. I hope you'll join us in this effort.
(Questions to ponder:
I want people to think more about what's beyond the
surface. Here are some sample questions.
1. Is it true that A/W dating disparity is caused
because WMs are less racist than WFs?
2. Why is it that, in the USA, the best basketball
players are mostly black but the best
(Olympic-level) swimmers are all white?)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(NOTEs)
(NOTE published material on the subject of this article)
Recently (in May 1994) I finally found some published material
that touch upon the subject of this article (facts on the
disparity, and its causes):
--- [Kikumura and Kitano 1973]
--- [Kitano, et al. 1984]
--- [Tinker 1973]
--- [Tinker 1982]
(I looked at two other related but less relevant papers.)
I was disappointed to find that the speculations on the causes
in these papers were not bold or comprehensive. In particular,
none of these papers mention the following factors.
(1) racism combined with asymmetric conception of marriage
(3) pervasive media bias
(7) colonization: national images of the conqueror
and the subservient
Perhaps this is mainly due to professional cautiousness.
I find it hard to believe that these researchers in the field
hadn't thought of things Alan Hu and I have written about.
([arthurhu 1994 (1990?)], which I found in late May, emphasizes
the factor (2). I don't believe it mentions (1) or (7).)
Please let me know if you find other published material.
Finally, an awful thought: so I speculated that AMs are less
active in dating, and perhaps that they have less success at
dating and marriage. Does this mean that today in the USA,
substantially more AMs spend lonely lives without ever getting
married? (I'm kind of scared to find out the statistics on this.)
(then I thought: marriages and long-term relationships
have to do with sincerity, trust, etc much more than
with superficial attractiveness. in fact, being too
concerned with superficial appeal is harmful to a good
marriage or a long-term relationship. so AMs in the USA
are in good shape here.)
(NOTE B/W couples)
Another related question is, why are there more BM/WF couples
than WM/BF couples? Black males' outmarriage rate in 1986 was
more than three times that of black females' (U.S. Bureau of
Census, 1987). Some studies show that the disparity goes the
other way [Porterfield 1982]. Porterfield's article gives
possible explanations for this disparity (whichever way it may
be). In sociology it has been known that there is a "general
tendency for the men of a racial, religious, or ethnic minority
to out-marry to a greater extent than the women".
(NOTE B/A couples)
The data presented in [Lee and Yamanaka 1990] indicates that
BM/AF couples are much more common than AM/BF couples. I've
known some BM/AF couples personally and seen many such couples
(in the USA and Japan), but I've never seen or heard of an AM/BF
couple in my life. (You don't have to write to me; I know they
exist.) This disparity naturally follows from the factors
discussed in this article.
(NOTE non-reasons for the disparity)
(non-reason 1) because men are more interested in looks than women are.
men (straight or gay) are more concerned with physical
appearance in a possible mate than women are in most (all?)
human cultures [Symons 1979] [Buss 1994].
but this would contribute to the disparity only if Asian
females are generally thought of as more physically attractive
than white females are, which I don't believe is the case.
(non-reason 2) because opposites attract.
this, if true, would contribute to the number of intercultural
or intercultural couples as a whole, but not to the disparity.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Appendix A) suggestions on dating for shy AMs
I know that not all AMs are shy. I'm not. and I know some
Asian guys who are not. but some are, and for those AMs who are
on the shy side, here are some suggestions that may be helpful.
most of these suggestions are race-unspecific. any guy
(or even woman, actually) who is on the shy side would
benefit from these, I think.
An Asian male wrote to me in a letter (quoted by permission):
|----------------------------------------------------------------
| I think it is wrong to assume most WFs will not date an AM.
| I am a Chinese American male, and I really don't feel I have a
| problem dating WFs at all. I think most AMs assume WFs will not
| date them because of all the racial prejudices, etc.
|
| If you ask any WF, chances are she get hit on by males of all
| races except AMs. AMs seem to lack confidence when it comes to
| hitting on WFs. They simply don't try.
|
| (So if you try, you'll be surprised.)
|
| I also know most AFs prefer to date AMs. I strongly recommend
| AMs ask those AFs out. Otherwise, it is just matter of time
| before someone else does.
another letter from him:
|----------------------------------------------------------------
| Date: Mon, 15 Aug 94 ...
| From: ...
| To: TANAKA Tomoyuki <tan...@silver.ucs.indiana.edu>
|
| Tomoyuki -
|
| Thanks for putting that up. I also have few more suggestions
| for the article as well.
|
| 1. Do something to improve your outer appearance. Buy some new
| clothes, develop a new attitude about life. If you seem upbeat,
| people around you will notice and rub off on you.
|
| 2. Have pride in your Asian-ness, don't just say it, do it by
| living it. I found my Asian pride through practicing martial
| arts (yeah yeah, it is stereotypical but it helps). People
| don't look down on people who are proud; in most cases they
| respect them. I found this to be very important for self
| confidence. If you have a lot of pride in yourself, it is easier
| dealing with racism and many other problems we face as AMs.
|
| 3. Do something to improve your physique. I started
| weightlifting around 19 and it has helped my confidence
| tremendously. We live in a highly superficial society and
| dating is very much affected by that.
|
| 4. Learn to dance. Girls of all races love good dancers plus
| you will have a great time every time you out. I always have an
| awesome time when I go out.
|
| 5. Finally, ask the girl you are interested out. Most Asian
| guys are quite shy and they tend to wait way too long. Girls
| want to go out too. The worst a girl can say is "NO". If you
| really think about it, "NO" isn't that bad. This principle
| applies to girls of all races.
|
| 6. Finally, if you meet an AF who is a banana or a girl who
| refuses to date AMs, don't dwell on that and think all females
| are like them. One thing I have learned through years of dating
| is: there are plenty of fishes in the sea. MOVE ON.
|
| 7. Make friends with other Asians who are in the same
| situation. It is easier to deal with problems when you are
| strong in numbers. It is about time Asians support each other
| for once.
|
| 8. Remember: whining and complaining don't solve any problems,
| only actions do. Start with the person in the mirror.
|
| If you are not tall and handsome, don't sit there and feel sorry
| for yourself. I still believe personality has a lot to do with
| dating. If you don't have the physical attributes, work on the
| areas you can improve, like your personality. Again, hanging
| out with positive people helps a lot.
|
| I know an Asian guy who is 5'2" and he gets good looking girls
| all the time. He is not handsome, but he has a sense of style
| most guys just don't have.
|
| Good luck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Appendix B) Alan Hu's Section 9
one of the bad things about my article is that it doesn't talk
about what we should be doing. I left it that way because I
thought Alan Hu's article [ajh 1994] already did a great job.
I especially like the following part.
|----------------------------------------------------------------
| Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
| Date: 13 Mar 94 23:15:13 GMT
| From: a...@cs.stanford.edu (Alan Hu)
| Subject: Interracial Dating FAQ Repost
| (was Re: Meek White Male Seeks Oriental Jewel)
| [...]
|
| 9. Well, that may be a fine analysis, but don't just sit around
| and whine.
|
| Excellent point. On a societal level, look around you and
| look into yourself. Recognize media bias and attempt to
| counteract it. If you see something egregious, point it out,
| write a letter to the editor, do something. If you see
| racism and prejudice in yourself, attempt to eliminate it.
|
| On a personal level, if you're happy with your social life,
| great, more power to you. If you find yourself having
| difficulty forming relationships, here's a few suggestions I've
| found helpful over the years:
| 1. Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how
| can you expect someone else to?
| 2. Take good care of yourself. This is a corollary
| to number 1. Be happy. Do things you enjoy.
| Be actively involved in life. A study on
| loneliness indicated that married people are
| as lonely as single people. Being with people
| doesn't cure loneliness; enjoying your own
| company does.
| 3. Improve yourself. Honestly evaluate yourself. If
| you don't like something, don't feel bad about
| it, but consider working on improving it in the
| spirit of self-improvement and self-esteem.
| 4. Don't fear rejection. People have different tastes.
| If someone is racist and rejects you, that's
| his/her problem. If someone can't appreciate
| your virtues, that's his/her problem. The right
| person for you will love you for being you.
| 5. Have a good time. Life's too short to waste time moping.
| A relationship book I particularly like is Intimate Connections
| (yeah, I know it's a hokey title) by David Burns, MD.
|----------------------------------------------------------------
I bought this paperback, "Intimate Connections" by David Burns
(Signet). it's a really good book. I recommend it too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
(references)
Most Usenet materials are stored in my archive (WWW) site.
Use Lynx (as "lynx http://bronze.ucs.indiana.edu/~tanaka"),
Mosaic, etc.
[booklet "Asian Pacific Americans" 1988 (?)]
"Asian Pacific Americans: A handbook on how to cover and
portray our nation's fastest growing minority group."
about 80 pages. out of print.
(some excerpts available in my archive (WWW) site.)
[Buss 1994]
David Buss. "The evolution of desire". Basic Books, 1994. $13.
[Chan 1991]
Sucheng Chan.
Asian Americans: an interpretive history. Twayne Publishers.
[Cretser and Leon 1982]
Gary A. Cretser and Joseph J. Leon, ed.
"Intermarriage in the United States". (a book)
Marriage and Family Review. Vol 5, No 1. The Haworth Press (1982).
[Daniels and Kitano 1970]
Roger Daniels and Harry H.L. Kitano.
American racism: exploration of the nature of prejudice.
Prentice-Hall (out of print).
[ajh 1994]
Alan Hu <a...@cs.stanford.edu>
a Usenet article. (about 340 lines)
Subject: Interracial Dating FAQ Repost
(was Re: Meek White Male Seeks Oriental Jewel)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american
Date: 13 Mar 94 23:15:13 GMT
Footnote: In the quote in Section (3), I made some minor
changes, the most significant being the addition of one
sentence, "If you doubt the tremendous influence the media has
on what we know and how we think, consider these questions."
[arthurhu 1994 (1990?)]
Arthur T. Hu <arth...@hebron.connected.com>
a Usenet article. (about 450 lines)
and "an old Asian Week column" from Dec 1990 (?)
Subject: Why more asian women / white men than vice versa
Newsgroups: soc.culture.asian.american ...
Date: 20 May 1994 14:18:37 -0700
[Ienaga 1978]
IENAGA Saburo. The Pacific War. Pantheon Books, 1978.
(see also IENAGA Saburou. Sensou sekinin. Iwanami-shoten, 1985.)
[Kikumura and Kitano 1973]
Akemi Kikumura and Harry H.L. Kitano.
"Interracial marriage: a picture of the Japanese Americans".
Journal of Social Issues. Vol 29, No 2 (1973) pp 67-81.
[Kitano, et al. 1984]
Harry H.L. Kitano, Wai-Tsang Yeng, Lynn K. Chai, and Herbert
Hatanaka. "Asian-American Interracial Marriage".
Journal of Marriage and the Family.
Vol 46 (Feb 1984) pp 179-90.
[Lee and Yamanaka 1990]
Sharon M Lee and Keiko Yamanaka.
"Patterns of Asian American intermarriage and marital assimilation".
Journal of Comparative Family Studies.
Vol 21, No 2 (Summer 1990). pp 287--305.
"The data for the research reported in this paper is based on an
extract of all Asian Americans from the 5 percent Public-Use Microdata
Samples (PUMS) of the 1980 U.S. Population Census." (Page 289)
[NY Times 1994]
The New York Times (by Eric Schmitt).
"Japanese-American Proves Marine Bias".
Sunday, January 2, 1994 (Page A6).
These were the very words thrown at Hawaii-born Bruce Yamashita
by the instructors at officer training program of the U.S.
Marines. (some excerpts available in my archive (WWW) site.)
[Porterfield 1982]
Ernest Porterfield.
"Black-American intermarriage in the United States".
in [Cretser and Leon 1982], pp 17-34.
[Symons 1979]
Donald Symons, "The evolution of human sexuality"
Oxford Univ. Press, 1979. $18.95.
[Tanaka 1994 V.Chin]
TANAKA Tomoyuki. "Who killed Vincent Chin?".
Usenet article (370 lines), Aug 1994.
[Tanaka 1995 misconceptions]
TANAKA Tomoyuki. "American misconceptions about Japan FAQ".
Usenet FAQ file (v1, 1900 lines), Jan 1995.
[Tanaka 1995 JLC]
TANAKA Tomoyuki. film review of "The Joy Luck Club"
Usenet article (400 lines), Feb 1995.
[Tinker 1973]
John N. Tinker.
"Intermarriage and ethnic boundaries: the Japanese American case".
Journal of Social Issues. Vol 29, No 2 (1973) pp 49-66.
[Tinker 1982]
John N. Tinker. "Intermarriage and assimilation in a plural
society: Japanese Americans in the United States".
in [Cretser and Leon 1982], pp 61-75.
[UPI 1993]
UPI --- in a Usenet article.
From: clar...@clarinet.com (UPI)
Subject: Okinawa demands return of U.S. soldier in rape case
Newsgroups: clari.news.military,clari.news.law.crime.sex
Date: Mon, 16 Aug 93 02:06:18 PDT
[Wilkinson 1990]
Endymion Wilkinson. "Japan versus the West: image and reality".
Penguin Books, 1990. ($9.95 in the USA)
[Wright 1994]
Robert Wright. "The moral animal: the new science of
evolutionary psychology". Pantheon, 1994. $27.50.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(Acknowledgements)
When I wrote the first version of this article, I felt that the
ideas I presented were almost entirely mine. Since then, a lot
of people have responded with good ideas, some of which I've
incorporated to improve the article. I will try to keep track
of who contributed what, so that I can acknowledge them if/when
I have a chance to present this article in a formal setting.
(version info)
version 1 (about 370 lines) 1994 3/31
version 2 (about 450 lines) 1994 4/14
version 3 (about 800 lines) 1994 5/11
version 4 (about 900 lines) 1994 8/07
changes since version 4 was posted:
--- the Vincent Chin case
--- Arthur Hu quote, re: "Arnold and Stallone"
--- anti-miscegenation laws, War Brides Act of 1945
version 5 (about 920 lines) 1994 10/11
--- Appendixes A and B
--- Wagatsuma and Yoneyama, Rudofsky
--- header info, etc for a Usenet FAQ file
version 6 (about 1160 lines) 1994 11/15
version 7: new in this version: see the very top of this file.
;;; (Mr.) TANAKA Tomoyuki (Tanaka is my family name.)
;;;
;;; mailing address: TANAKA Tomoyuki
;;; Eigenmann Hall 393
;;; Bloomington, IN 47406, USA
;;;
;;; WWW: <http://bronze.ucs.indiana.edu/~tanaka>
;;;
;;; e-mail address: <tan...@indiana.edu>