Wedding dress color
Debra Moreno
Hi all,
This is my first post to the group although I have been lurking for a
while. I have a question about the color of a wedding dress. I am
planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for my
wedding and this seems to have become a source of trouble with the best
man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because this is
just "not done". He has been told that this should not matter to him and
that if he can't come up with a better reason for his being upset than it
is just "not done" then the conversation on this matter is over. I feel
that dress color is up to the bride and groom and my fiance and I are
comfortable with this decision. What I would like from the group is some
information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group that in
a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
done".
I think that this group is great and I am hoping to hear from some of you.
Thanks a bunch,
Deb
Amethyst
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu (Debra Moreno) wrote:
>Hi all,
Hi Deb,
Well, I'm wearing a deep purple velvet gown in a medieval-type style.
That's about as "not done" as anything I can think of. :-) Why look
like every other bride on the planet? Be unique. It's your wedding
and blue sounds lovely. Also tell him that brides didn't start
wearing white until the Victorian era. Before then, women just wore
their best "Sunday" dress. And in Renaissance times, it was green
because it is a color of fertility and beginnings.
Melyssa
RCEnsemble
In article <debra.moreno...@chem-wrl.chemistry.gatech.edu>,
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu (Debra Moreno) writes:
> I have a question about the color of a wedding dress. I am
>planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for
my
>wedding and this seems to have become a source of trouble with the best
>man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because this
is
>just "not done".
As a matter of fact, during this country's early years, women of modest
means wore a wedding gown that would serve as their best Sunday dress
after the ceremony. It was often a white gown, but not necessarily.
I bought a good dress for my wedding; so now I have pleasant memories
whenever I wear it. I'm glad it doesn't sit in a moth bag!
Elizaname
Debra, I think you need look only as far as your local newsstand. Most of
the bridal mags mention the common usage of pastel dresses, as well as
white and ivory.
Denise L. Voskuil
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu (Debra Moreno) wrote:
>What I would like from the group is some
>information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
>dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group that in
>a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
>this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
>done".
I believe the original reason for a white dress was that it was very
expensive (and thus treasured) to wear truly white clothes in previous
centuries - it was much easier to dye cloth than it was to bleach it
white.
Later, the symbolism of the color came to include not having been
married before - some people think it's scandalous if a woman being
married for a second time DOES wear white! Personally, I find it
insulting that a bride is supposed to be advertising her status to
everyone with her clothing. Go ahead, wear what you want! :)
- Denise
(& Gene; 10/11/97)
--
Denise L. Voskuil - dvos...@mcs.com
http://www.mcs.net/~dvoskuil/
"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is
chosen by others." - Andre' Maurois
Jeanne Petrangelo
In article <debra.moreno...@chem-wrl.chemistry.gatech.edu>,
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu says...
>
>Hi all,
>
>This is my first post to the group although I have been lurking for a
>planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for
my >wedding and this seems to have become a source of trouble with the
best >man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because
upset than it >is just "not done" then the conversation on this matter is
over. I feel >that dress color is up to the bride and groom and my
fiance and I are >comfortable with this decision.
What I would like from the group is some
>information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that
wear >dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group
that in >a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is
information like >this that I am after so I can show it to him and show
him that it "is >done".
>I think that this group is great and I am hoping to hear from some of
you.
>
>Thanks a bunch,
>Deb
If your brother or other naysayers enjoyed reading the Laura Ingles /
Wilder books, you could remind them that Laura wore a black dress to her
own wedding. And you only have to read the recently published book of
newspaper columns she wrote after they settled in the Ozarks to know that
the Wilders' had a long, happy marriage.
Although it's nice to take other peoples feelings into account, I think
that if both you and your fiance are happy, it shouldn't really matter.
If you can't convince him to pipe down, then just remind him that it
isn't his wedding and when he gets married he can do it differently, and
that you'd really appreciate his support.
And if showing him that it just "is done" doesn't work, then maybe
there's a deeper reason he's against it, even if he doesn't think about
it. I find myself against ingrained views like this often, and what works
for me is to try to get to the bottom of it. Ask your fiance's brother
why he's so against it... does he think it means you're not committed to
the marriage or something? If I were in your shoes, I'd try to get to
the root reasons and try to address those. Of course, you know him
better than I do.
Just my two cents,
Jeanne
Jeanne_A_...@ccmail.res.ray.com
ST403511
In article <debra.moreno...@chem-wrl.chemistry.gatech.edu>,
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu (Debra Moreno) wrote:
>
> I am planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of)
dress for my
> information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
> dresses in colors other than white.
Here is a poem that I saved (off this newsgroup) to use in my defense when
I was considering a blue wedding dress:
>Married in white, you have chosen right,
>Married in green, ashamed to be seen,
>Married in gray, you will go far away,
>Married in red, you will wish yourself dead,
>Married in blue, love ever true,
>Married in yellow, you're ashamed of your fellow,
>Married in black, you'll wish yourself back,
>Married in pink, of you he'll aye think.
HTH, Wendy
Debbie McCoy
RE: Wedding Dress Color...
White for weddings began in Victorian England and has nothing to do with
virginity. The rich wore white to prove that they were the ones who could
afford to wear a dress only once--dry cleaning being what is was at the
time <g>! White as symbol of purity did not evolve until much later.
At the time of the American Revolution, brides wore red. Hindus And
Chinese wear red today. And brides from all over the world wear colors
that relfect their ethnic heritage. White today has come to symbolize joy
and celebration. Hope this helps.
Deb McCoy, Author, "For the Bride" For more info, please visit
http://www.gate.net/~bridea2z/wedding.htm
Lisa Livingston
debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu (Debra Moreno) wrote:
>Hi all,
>
>This is my first post to the group although I have been lurking for a
>planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for my
>man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because this is
>just "not done". He has been told that this should not matter to him and
>that if he can't come up with a better reason for his being upset than it
>is just "not done" then the conversation on this matter is over. I feel
>that dress color is up to the bride and groom and my fiance and I are
>information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
>a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
>this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
>done".
>I think that this group is great and I am hoping to hear from some of you.
>
>Thanks a bunch,
>Deb
There is a book in print called Weddings by Design: A Guide to
Non-Traditional Ceremonies. Its by Richard Leviton and it has all sorts
of information about what other cultures do about bridal related things.
Yes, the Chinese do indeed wear red. In Medieval England, the bride wore
her best dress (and it could be any color) and was married on Sunday.
In the Victorian era, it became fashionable to wear white because only
the very richest could afford to wear (and dirty) a white dress once.
Only in Modern times has the white dress come to symbolise purity...a
somewhat misguided concept (IMHO) considering that there are very few
people that actually look good in pure white.
But anyway, this book has information on traditions from around the world
that might help you make your case to your groom's brother...
good luck
and stick to your guns...its your wedding after all :)
Lisa Livingston
and
Bill Brown
Ms Samantha Li
: This is my first post to the group although I have been lurking for a
: while. I have a question about the color of a wedding dress. I am
: planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for my
: wedding and this seems to have become a source of trouble with the best
: man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because this is
: just "not done". He has been told that this should not matter to him and
: that if he can't come up with a better reason for his being upset than it
: is just "not done" then the conversation on this matter is over. I feel
: that dress color is up to the bride and groom and my fiance and I are
: comfortable with this decision. What I would like from the group is some
: information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
: dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group that in
: a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
: this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
: done".
: I think that this group is great and I am hoping to hear from some of you.
: Thanks a bunch,
: Deb
--
Samantha "Duckee" Li .oo. .oo. Chris "Pegasus" Ganje
duc...@infolink.net OOOOoOOOO ga...@u.washington.edu
The World of Duckee `OOOOOOO' Chris' Homepage
http://www.infolink.net/~duckee `O' http://weber.u.washington.edu/~ganje
Diana Slivinska
hi there!
two women i know wore other-than-white dresses for their weddings. one
wore deep blue with gold trim in a medieval style, the other wore forest
green and yellow, in a dress she designed herself.
the latter got some flak from her husband's family ("she couldn't even wear
a white dress!"), but my friend is very strong-minded, knew what she wanted,
and stuck to her guns (they've now been married about 15 years or so).
i agree with you, it's the bride's decision what she will wear. if your
best man has a problem with it, it's not his business! it's *not* his
wedding, and he doesn't have to wear the dress. the function of the best man,
as i understand it, is to support and stand by the groom (and incidentally,
the bride) and NOT to give fashion advice!
you should wear whatever color and style you like, that you feel good and
comfortable in. i can't imagine anything worse than spending my wedding day
in a dress i don't like, of an unflattering color.
go for the periwinkle!!
ciao,
--diva & flip
(AKA diana & philip)
4/99
Deb
Hi again,
Just wanted to thank everyone that responded. I got some great information
to arm myself with when he and I discuss this. I am sure that I will have
many other questions as the planning goes along and now I know hwere to go
for help.
Deb
Ms Samantha Li
How embarrassing, my post didn't make it ;) Heehe, here is it :)
Debra Moreno (debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu) wrote:
: comfortable with this decision. What I would like from the group is some
: information on brides in other cultures, and maybe even our own, that wear
: dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group that in
: a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
: this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
: done".
Hiya :)
Here's a bit of Chinese culture for you - yep, you're right about the red
dress - the reason for it is red is the color for wealth in Chinese trad.
and of course you want a marriage to be prosperous and rich (not just in
money! :). But while we're talking Chinese traditions, you may or may not
like to point out that white is NEVER worn because it is the color Chinese
people wear at funerals. <g>
But having said that, I will most probably wear a traditional Chinese dress
(a "cheongsam") at my wedding, but in white. :) (BTW, yes, I am Chinese
and Chris is not).
Samantha & Chris (March 7, 1997)
Shon Lo
Hi Debra,
I will be wearing a non-white/ivory wedding dress. It is a pale
champagne/beige with rosy undertones, and I love it b/c it is a good
color for me, and it is different. Your wedding dress should be
what _you_ want to wear, and your fiance's brother should realize
that!
Shon
--
ws...@mit.edu
http://faboo.mit.edu/Shon/home.html
"He smells like a big, fat rabbit to me, with a lot of carrots
inside..."
barter,elizabeth
Well, my first reaction is to tell the Best Man that when he
gets married he can have some say (maybe!) in his bride's attire,
but he really has no business telling you what to wear.
My second, more rational :-D reaction is to maybe have your
fiance talk to him and find out exactly why this is bothering
him so much? Is another family member pitching a fit and he's
the go-between? Does he think people will doubt your commitment?
Is he rigid in general? Has he been generally supportive of you
both up to this point?
People have already mentioned that pre-Victorian era, brides just
wore their best dress, no matter what color it was. That was also
the case during wartime in this country, when cloth was rationed.
Brides often just wore a smart suit and not necessarily white.
If it helps, I just saw a story on Extra or one of those tv shows
that colored bridal dresses are *the* thing now. Vera Wang has
designed a whole line of dresses in pink, blue, green, and some
dark colors too. She's also got white dresses with colored trim.
Of course, if you've ever seen any of the bridal mags from England,
they've been doing color and white/ivory & color for years.
Personally, I think it looks spectacular.
Beth
___
/\ \
/ \/ \
___ \ O / ___ The wise through excess
/ \ \ / / \ of wisdom is made a fool
/ __ - - __ \ -Ralph Waldo Emerson
/___/ | <> <> | \___\
O ___| ^ |___ O
/ \ -^- / \ Beth Barter
/ /\ \_____/ /\ \ Bellcore
\_ / / \ \_ / Morristown, NJ
O / /\ /\ \ O ba...@cc.bellcore.com
\ / \ / \ /
O O O
Adrienne & Philip
Hi
That sounds just like what I want.. I love the idea of rosy
undertones :)
Adrienne
Suzanne DeMoss
In article <Wendy_Sears-10...@128.148.30.212>,
Wendy...@brown.edu (ST403511) wrote:
> >Married in white, you have chosen right,
> >Married in green, ashamed to be seen,
> >Married in gray, you will go far away,
> >Married in red, you will wish yourself dead,
> >Married in blue, love ever true,
> >Married in yellow, you're ashamed of your fellow,
> >Married in black, you'll wish yourself back,
> >Married in pink, of you he'll aye think.
>
> HTH, Wendy
But what about ivory or off-white?
--
Suzanne DeMoss "Everybody knows that the world
Tucson, AZ is full of stupid people."
suz...@azstarnet.com
-----The Refreshments
SUE
Just wanted add myself to the brides who are not wearing white. I think I
had the most problem with it because at first I REALLY wanted a beautiful
jessica mcclintock white brocade dress, but it was $700 so I put away all
thoughts of white and decided to be creative and use my sewing talents.
etc. I found a blue brocade bridesmaid dress for $15 at the ywca used
clothing store and spent all night bleaching and colour removing it to a
light, beautiful shade of pale blue/white. Then I resewed the neckline to
sweetheart, added applique to the sleeves, neckline and shoulders, sewed
toole under the skirt to make a crinoline, made a slip out of unbleached
cotton so the crinoline doesn't bug me!, took some ivory brocade fabric and
attached it with snaps and buttons to the shoulders for a train and later
in the evening a bustled train. Add a crown headpiece from my mother in
law, beige oriental slippers, ivory and blue parchment (carnations
and roses) bouquet, and lingerie and the total bill was less than $300
total. Going alternative colour can be less expensive, but more importantly
is different and memorable for your guests and you, especially if you
personalize it.
Sue and Steve, October 5, 1996
Deb
In article <4n86vh$d...@nestor.cc.bellcore.com>, ba...@cc.bellcore.com
(barter,elizabeth) wrote:
Snip
He is getting married in October, so I have no idea why he is so concerned
with our planning. His fiance is wearing white and I guess that is what he
thinks is proper.
>
> My second, more rational :-D reaction is to maybe have your
> fiance talk to him and find out exactly why this is bothering
> him so much? Is another family member pitching a fit and he's
> the go-between? Does he think people will doubt your commitment?
> Is he rigid in general? Has he been generally supportive of you
> both up to this point?
He is the one that is pitching the fit, the other family members accept
that this is my decision but think that it is weird and not what they would
do because it is not traditional. He is rigid in general and I am not too
shcked by this. He has not been generally supportive of us up to this
point. When he got engaged both Mike (my fiance) and I were happy for him
and wished him the best. He on the other hand was upset by our engagement.
He and I have not always gotten along really well, we just have different
personalities, but you think after the 5.5 years that MIke and I have been
together he would have gotten the hint that I am not going away. I think
that he is using this dress thing to get at me.
>
Snip
>
> If it helps, I just saw a story on Extra or one of those tv shows
> that colored bridal dresses are *the* thing now. Vera Wang has
> designed a whole line of dresses in pink, blue, green, and some
> dark colors too. She's also got white dresses with colored trim.
> Of course, if you've ever seen any of the bridal mags from England,
> they've been doing color and white/ivory & color for years.
> Personally, I think it looks spectacular.
I wish I would have seen this.
Deb (and MIke, sometime in 1997, just gettin the pre planning done now)
Denisen Fraser and Jay Hartlove
Just a thought, and an off the cuff one at that, but
WHO DOES THE BEST MAN THINK HE IS, DICTATING WHAT THE BRIDE
WEARS?!
It's his job to be there and be supportive of the groom, not be
another advisor/dictator. Wearing colors at weddings certainly is
"done," both in our culture these days (I've seen several pictures
of wedding dresses either entirely in colors or with colored
"bits," and as Deb McCoy(?) put it, other cultures are even less
enthusiastic about the bride in white thing than us. Is he thusly
insisting that brides must be virgins? Oh, please.
My suggestion is to tell the best man to butt out.
Good luck!
Denisen (marrying Jay 8/10/96)
--
Oh, I hope this is right. 10362...@compuserve.com
Kenneth Brody
Debra Moreno (debra....@chemistry.gatech.edu) wrote:
: Hi all,
:
: This is my first post to the group although I have been lurking for a
: while. I have a question about the color of a wedding dress. I am
: planning to wear a pastel periwinkle (shade of blue, kind of) dress for my
: wedding and this seems to have become a source of trouble with the best
: man, my groom's brother. He has said that I can't do this because this is
: just "not done". He has been told that this should not matter to him and
: dresses in colors other than white. I know from reading the group that in
: a traditional Chinese wedding the bride wears red. It is information like
: this that I am after so I can show it to him and show him that it "is
: done".
First off, it is your day (and you fiancee's). If you wanted to get married
in cutoffs and tie-dyed T-shirts, go right ahead. If he can't handle you
wearing periwinkle, have your fiancee have a little heart-to-heart with him
on the matter. (Don't do it yourself. If it were the MOH or a bridesmaid,
then that would be your place to talk to them. The best man is there for
the groom.) If you all feel that strongly on the matter, tell him he has
the option to step down as best man, and you'll find someone else. (I know.
Rather strongs words coming from a man, huh? Fortunately, nothing like this
has come up in our wedding plans, yet.)
My brother married a Chinese woman. Although she wore white during the
ceremony, she changed into a red dress for the reception. As I recall,
red is the traditional Chinese color, representing wealth.
If I remember correctly, in oriental cultures (well, at least Korean) white
is worn at funerals, and so would never be worn at a wedding.
Hope this is of some help.
- Ken - (and Laura W.) 8/31/96
(No relation to Laura W. and Ken, 5/18/96)
--
+---------+----------------------------------+--------------------------------+
| Kenneth | kenb...@cloud9.net | "The opinions expressed herein |
| J. | | are not necessarily those of |
| Brody | http://www.cloud9.net/~kenbrody/ | The Small Computer Company." |
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