Curse you Dr Pepper Angst!
Gardner S Trask
So I went to purchase a Dr Pepper at Grampy's, one of those gas station /
convenient store / nail boutique / ear piercing salon combos (The one
within spitting distance of the 'NEW' Buzzy's Roast Beef).
Anyhow, I get back to my desk, and I notice three distinct examples of
'marketing to the lowest common denominator' theorem.
First, the obligatory "Look behind the label for your chance to win"
contest made so popular by the Bazooka Bubblegum people. The issue I have
is that it had a dashed line, a scissors graphic, and the words (in all
caps) "CAUTION: REMOVE LABEL HERE ONLY WHEN BOTTLE IS EMPTY." What the
hell?!?!? What the hell is the inherent danger of say snipping the label
when the bottle is half-full? And if there exists such danger, why not
punctuate it with an exclamation mark? Or emoticon? Or Skull and
Crossbones?
Next. So, I carefully wait until the bottle is empty, in fact, I used my
Ron Popiel Food-Store to create a complete vacuum in the bottle before
clipping the label. I turn it around, and, of course, I did not win
anything. But what caught my eye was, along with the instructions to claim
your prize was the sentence "... and send it along with your potential
winning game piece (cut along dotted line), ..." Now, I already ranted
about the dotted line, but this use of the word "potential". Like I am
going to send in a losing game label to try and screw them out of a funky
tee-shirt or the other grand prize of five whole bucks!!! Idiots.
And finally, and most disturbing, the "Angst Chronicles". Tales of woe of
mall queens and surfer doodz trapped in the mundane post-high-school /
pre-real-world twenty-something hell of middle America. In this
installment, our heroine (represented by a bouffant blonde graphic) has to
bribe her little brother with caseloads of Dr Pepper so he won't snitch
that she has been dating Chip ("He was angry, but he didn't know why"). I
mean, did someone convince the Pepsico Corp that the generation-x crowd
was their target demographic. What the HELL!!! It's Dr Pepper, not
Frutopia!! This gen-x stuff is going to far!!! The van-dyke and Italian
sunglasses with the round, nickel-sized, gunmetal blue lenses is becoming
so cliché. It is so passe' that every cast member of Friends (EVERY CAST
MEMBER) is doing it. Hell, it is so lame that Peanuts Creator Charles
Shultz has released a 90's version of Snoopy as Joe Cool with a van dyke,
sipping latte', and slam dancing Pigpen. And as for the gen-x women, what
is it about cigars that make you want to dress in a chiffon dresses with
pearl bustier, and then sit splay-legged affecting some pseudo-macho
cigar-smoking posture. Why do you feel you have to mug up or do a Groucho
impersonation? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar gals!
C'mon Dr Pepper! Get over yourselves already. You are not the beat of the
neXt-generation.
Just my $.05 (MI $.10)
Gard "No deposit, No return" Trask
--
'' Gardner S. Trask III tr...@world.std.com
O\/O "First .cultured man on the Internet" alt.culture.gard-trask
( ) Creator of 'Circut, the Internet Owl(tm)'
"" Newbie Netiquette mascot and the 'lectronic Martha Stewart
Rebecca Peters
Gard...please put that energy/talent to good use instead of using it to
post some nonsense that's going to be buried under spam in a newsgroup
where it will not be appreciated....as for the question about Pepsico,
have you seen their new commercials? Yes, they have hopped on the GenX
bandwagon, just when we were hoping that wagon was on its way out. With
the re-release of the Star Wars trilogy in the theaters came a batch of
exciting Pepsi commercials with neat special effects. And their new
slogan? "Generation Next" You may now hork as necessary.
Becca
--
Don't agree with me; I've already changed my mind.
Brent MacArthur
Gardner S Trask wrote:
[snip]
> did someone convince the Pepsico Corp that the generation-x crowd
> was their target demographic. What the HELL!!! It's Dr Pepper, not
> Frutopia!! This gen-x stuff is going to far!!!
GOING too far? It's passed too far. My disgust with the whole
marketing of a generation came last fall with the "back to school" ads.
There was actually a commercial with a bunch of beginning elementary
school (1st - 3rd grade) wearing the new "Generation X" line of
clothing.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Generation X is a cool name.
Unfortunately, marketers don't realize that the members of GenX identify
with more than just the name, and frankly I didn't like being associated
with a line of children's clothing.
-Brent
ja...@onramp.net
In alt.religion.kibology, on Wed, 07 May 1997 18:46:00 -0700, Brent MacArthur
wanted to share:
:I've said it before and I'll say it again, Generation X is a cool name.
:Unfortunately, marketers don't realize that the members of GenX identify
:with more than just the name, and frankly I didn't like being associated
:with a line of children's clothing.
If tawdry, over-the-top commercialism doesn't accurately represent our
generation, I don't know what does.
Jaffo
P.S. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
P.S.S. EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMEEEE!!!!!
--
"Jaffo, you are truly a madman." - Susan Chalons
Ben Weiner
Brent MacArthur <bm...@best.com> writes:
>GOING too far? It's passed too far. My disgust with the whole
>marketing of a generation came last fall with the "back to school" ads.
>There was actually a commercial with a bunch of beginning elementary
>school (1st - 3rd grade) wearing the new "Generation X" line of
>clothing.
Last fall? So "Generation X" wasn't an annoying marketing tool
before then???
>I've said it before and I'll say it again, Generation X is a cool name.
>Unfortunately, marketers don't realize that the members of GenX identify
>with more than just the name, and frankly I didn't like being associated
>with a line of children's clothing.
Long before it was a generation, Generation X was a punk band.
Which made exactly one good album. (Actually, one _really good_ album.)
On which Billy Idol sings, "Never gonna sell out like they did." [1]
BILLY IDOL.
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
There was never a point where "Generation X" was an unpolluted cool
idea which later got perverted by evil marketing zombies. There is no
such thing as "authentic" Generation X versus "inauthentic" Generation
X. The whole project of self-definition by affiliating with some kind
of nebulous generational identity contains its own perversion all
along. So of course, actually, it's not a perversion at all. Cynical
marketing ploys are wholly consistent with the spirit of the age. In
fact, we expect them. If the suits (who often aren't wearing suits at
all, but those annoying goatees and little round glasses) DIDN'T poach
something, we'd ask ourselves, hey, what's wrong with it? Wasn't it
good enough to rip off?
-Ben
[1] The song is "Promises Promises." Do you remember the promises
promises? I do-oo-oo-oo. And so on.
Cody Stevens
In article <3375bff8...@news.onramp.net>, ja...@onramp.net wrote:
> P.S. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
SSSSSKKKKKKKOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
and
CYBER!
--
cody stevens
the official sex object of alt.cosuard
"since i was born i started to decay, now nothing ever ever goes my way" - placebo
Bruce Ediger
tr...@world.std.com (Gardner S Trask) wrote:
>
>So I went to purchase a Dr Pepper at Grampy's, one of those gas station /
Why would a sleek Gen-X'er like you drink an old fuddy-duddy soda
pop like Dr Pepper? Shouldn't you be drinking that newfangled "Jooky"
shit I see advertised on tee vee?
Bill Marcum
In article <33738b75....@fullnews.neosoft.com>, LawyerBoy 0.01 wrote:
>Just for clarification... would your dislike extend so far as to *include* the
>long defunct Garanimals line of children's clothing? After all, it just don't
>get more "Gen-X" than that.
>
You mean "Garon"imals?
--
Bill Marcum bmarcum at iglou dot com
If gnus are outlawed, only outlaws will have gnus.
John J. Allison
In article <33738b75....@fullnews.neosoft.com>,
LawyerBoy 0.01 <jjsims@SPAM_ME_NOT.neosoft.com> wrote:
>Just for clarification... would your dislike extend so far as to *include* the
>long defunct Garanimals line of children's clothing? After all, it just don't
>get more "Gen-X" than that.
ssc: w/o Garanimals I'm forced to wear a white t-shirt with whatever
pants [1] are clean. At least in elem school I had a bit of style.
(Then came _Miami Vice_ and ruined everything.)
My favorites were the giraffe and the camel.
That and TUFF SKIN [TM] blue jeans with triple-acting knee formula and
the pant legs rolled up in 4.5 inch cuffs. ("You'll grow into them.")
[1] ssc #2: I have 3 pair of tan-colored pants, only one of which
does not have pleats.
--
, jja
Brent MacArthur
LawyerBoy 0.01 wrote:
>
> Brent MacArthur <bm...@best.com> wrote:
>
> >Gardner S Trask wrote:
> >[snip]
> >> did someone convince the Pepsico Corp that the generation-x crowd
> >> was their target demographic. What the HELL!!! It's Dr Pepper, not
> >> Frutopia!! This gen-x stuff is going to far!!!
> >[snip]
> >
> >marketing of a generation came last fall with the "back to school" ads.
> >There was actually a commercial with a bunch of beginning elementary
> >school (1st - 3rd grade) wearing the new "Generation X" line of
> >clothing.
> >
> >Unfortunately, marketers don't realize that the members of GenX identify
> >with more than just the name, and frankly I didn't like being associated
> >with a line of children's clothing.
>
> long defunct Garanimals line of children's clothing? After all, it just don't
> get more "Gen-X" than that.
>
I guess I shouldn't have said "associated" with. In addition to
Garanimals, or "Garon"imals, let's not forget Underoos. They were a bit
after my time, but I'm sure people not much younger than me had several.
I think the big reason I latched onto the Gen-X title is that when mass
media started talking about it in '91 I found myself identifying greatly
with the people they were describing. I wasn't country before it was
cool (and I'm still not), but I was Gen-X before it had a name. I just
lucked out that my generation was named after my favorite Speed Racer
character.
I wasn't implying that we have been targets of marketing campaigns for
quite a while. I don't feel it is always a bad thing. I didn't see any
of my coworkers or friends complain when "classic" video games were
released for our computers. Does anyone know if there's a PC version of
Pitfall?
The children's clothing line was simply when things had gone too far for
*me.* Some reached the breaking point long before that. The Boomers
never had to deal with a line of clothing named after them. The worst
they had named after them was a dog who went from town to town every
week solving children's problems.
-Brent
Brent MacArthur
What's Jooky? Is that an East coast thing? I thought Barq's was the
beverage of choice for our generation. No... wait... while waiting for
a movie to start, the theater showed a Coke commercial featuring a
couple of "slackers" in their 70's styles, driving a 70's car. I guess
Coke is the choice of our generation.
Damn... and I liked Barq's so much. It's the one with bite.
WAIT!! What about JOLT?!?!
ja...@onramp.net
In alt.religion.kibology, on Sat, 10 May 1997 00:20:08 -0700, Brent MacArthur
wanted to share:
:What's Jooky? Is that an East coast thing? I thought Barq's was the
:beverage of choice for our generation. No... wait... while waiting for
:a movie to start, the theater showed a Coke commercial featuring a
:couple of "slackers" in their 70's styles, driving a 70's car. I guess
:Coke is the choice of our generation.
:
:Damn... and I liked Barq's so much. It's the one with bite.
:
:WAIT!! What about JOLT?!?!
SNAPPLE, BAY-BEE!
The one and only!
Raspberry iced tea is Jaffo's beverage O' Choice.
I've never seen any hott GenX chyk drinking it. I've never seen a pack of
Grunge boys standing around a Snapple machine, but RUSH LIMBAUGH likes it, and
all Generation Xers are rabid Conservative psycopaths that slavishly do
whatever THE GREAT ONE asks.
HTH
Jaffo
Cody Stevens
In article <3377126d....@fullnews.neosoft.com>,
jjsims@SPAM_ME_NOT.neosoft.com (LawyerBoy 0.01) wrote:
>
> My shoes:
>
> [1] pair Doc Martens
> [1] pair generic hiking boots
> [1] pair 'keds-style' Polo tennies
> [1] pair Cole-Haan loafers
> [1] pair black Bush-Nunn wingtips
> [2] pair Nike running shoes
> [1] pair Red Wing boots
> [1] pair Browning hunting boots that look like combat boots
what?!?! no chucks!?
just for the record, my shoes:
1 pair black converse chuck taylor all stars
1 pair off-white converse chuck taylor all stars
1 pair black skechers low-tops
1 pair green skechers steel toe boots
--
cody stevens
the official sex object of alt.cosuard
"i would like some milk from the milkman's wife's tits" - aphex twin
Carlos May
: > I thought Barq's was the
: >beverage of choice for our generation. No... wait... while waiting for
: >a movie to start, the theater showed a Coke commercial featuring a
: >couple of "slackers" in their 70's styles, driving a 70's car. I guess
: >Coke is the choice of our generation.
: >
: >Damn... and I liked Barq's so much. It's the one with bite.
: Plus, the latest commercial with Johnny (the short guy) looks like it was
: filmed on Bourbon Street. Big Ups[1] to Barq's for using Bourbon St. as a
: backdrop for a root beer commercial.
Well, Barq's IS from here in New Orleans. It's one of the few remaining
sarasparilla drinks from the turn of the last century (talkin' bout
our generation, eh?). Not technically quite a rootbeer... in fact for
decades the ads used to say "BARQ'S is it rootbeer?". However, I
still admire BARQ's for one of the most direct advertising slogans
ever: "Drink BARQ'S. It's good."
: >WAIT!! What about JOLT?!?!
: Do they still make it? I don't remember seeing it lately.
It was surplanted by Water Joe.
Next big trend: caffiene SNUFF!
-- F.
--
* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
* Headquarters: alt.fan.tito ** "Tounge Of Frog" *
http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/
Steven Ehrbar
Brent MacArthur <bm...@best.com> wrote in article
<337420...@best.com>...
> released for our computers. Does anyone know if there's a PC version of
> Pitfall?
Yeah... "Activision's Atari 2600 Action Pack". Mac, Win31, and Win95 in
one box. Pitfall's in it, and so is my favorite, River Raid.
Gardner S Trask
fro...@praline.no.neosoft.com (Carlos May) writes:
>: >WAIT!! What about JOLT?!?!
>: Do they still make it? I don't remember seeing it lately.
>It was surplanted by Water Joe.
>Next big trend: caffiene SNUFF!
That's it!!! I'm calling my broker and buying up all available Moxie
Stock.
Gard "That, and any TAB futures." Trask
Gardner S Trask
ja...@onramp.net writes:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on Sat, 10 May 1997 00:20:08 -0700, Brent MacArthur
>wanted to share:
>:What's Jooky? Is that an East coast thing? I thought Barq's was the
>:beverage of choice for our generation. No... wait... while waiting for
>:
>:Damn... and I liked Barq's so much. It's the one with bite.
>:
>:WAIT!! What about JOLT?!?!
>SNAPPLE, BAY-BEE!
>The one and only!
>Raspberry iced tea is Jaffo's beverage O' Choice.
WHADDAYALLCRAZZZIIIEEEEE???
IBC Root Beer.
Or Anything "New YorK Authentic" Like Cream Soda or Egg Cream or
Rasberry-Lime Rickey.
*** MAKE MONEY FAST AT THE EXPENSE OF GEN-'X'ers ******
Want to make millions without incuring the rath of the internet community?
Just start your own mod hip beverage bottling company:
First, get yourself some almost drinkable soda wannabe.
Next, put it in a glass bottle and charge $1.50 for 8 oz.
The bottles should either be retro brown glass and weigh two pounds each,
or be hand painted with some wacky 60'ish motif and special 'That Girl!"
fonts.
For guaranteed success, add some funky bottle caps like Grolsch Beer.
Give it some hip, now, happinin funky names like "XpressMochacino Madness"
or "Black Diamond Extreem Jolt".
Four words: 'Product Placement' and 'Friends."
And finally, spin your limitted distribution into some urban legand about
how "the Man" is preventing wholesale shipments to certain states, and how
if you find it, you should hoard caseloads. It worked for Coors and IBC,
it can work for you!!!
Gard "Anyone got any hand-painted Mason Jars I can borrow???" Trask
Nick S Bensema
In article <01bc5e87$356775e0$89e11fce@win95>,
You can play both of those with PC Atari 1.5. It works in DOS and is
wicked fast and has real sound and everything.
Download it after you get the Action Pack.
--
N i c k B e n s e m a < n i c k b @ p r i m e n e t . c o m >
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
98-KUPD Red Card Holder #710563 [THIS SPACE UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Carlos May
Cody Stevens (cas...@jove.acs.unt.edu) wrote:
: jjsims@SPAM_ME_NOT.neosoft.com (LawyerBoy 0.01) wrote:
: > My shoes:
: >
: > [1] pair Doc Martens
Sheesh. I can't wear Doc Martens or many other KEWL brands because
THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM IN MY SIZE. Phoo. I've never experienced the
wonders of air-soles and all that jive. I'm limited to the tiny number
of brands that make extra-wide EEEE.
One of which is the Red Wing postman model.
MY FEET ARE GOING POSTAL!!1!@!
-- Foot of Frog
Tim Meehan
On Wed, 7 May 1997 17:14:12 GMT, tr...@world.std.com (Gardner S Trask)
was inspired to say:
>winning game piece (cut along dotted line), ..." Now, I already ranted
>about the dotted line, but this use of the word "potential". Like I am
>going to send in a losing game label to try and screw them out of a funky
>tee-shirt or the other grand prize of five whole bucks!!! Idiots.
No, what they meant was that if you don't answer the skill-testing
question properly, you lose.
>Just my $.05 (MI $.10)
Consignee Quebec Refund $.05.
BTW, can someone please tell me what the hell "OK+" means? Do you get
MORE money back in Oklahoma?
-Tim
Tim Meehan - Toronto, Ontario - +1 416 449 2369
tim.m...@utoronto.ca - http://webhome.idirect.com/~tmeehan (under development)
What you think you know about drugs is probably wrong. www.druglibrary.org
Just say no to trucks.
Louis Nick III
E.Holmes <eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
>E.(checking her watch for the correct universe setting)Holmes
She's got a watch with a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand...
Louis "Lance Henrikson and Greg Bear on the same watch? Scary!" Nick
--
"I await your lame response, after which we should let this thread die.
It has had nothing to do with the topic for months, and has degenerated into
a nothing [sic] but a flame war." --Aaron Collins <col...@pop3.cris.com>
=== kcin-siuol.noigiler.tla ude.notgnihsaw.u@kcins III kciN siuoL ===
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake sn...@u.washington.edu (Louis Nick III):
>E.Holmes <eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
>>E.(checking her watch for the correct universe setting)Holmes
>She's got a watch with a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand...
...and when they meet it's a happy land. Powerful man. Urine man.
>Louis "Lance Henrikson and Greg Bear on the same watch? Scary!" Nick
Not bad for a... human.
--
Alex Suter
"Can now UnJustify!"
http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~asuter/
Carlos May
E.Holmes (eho...@onramp.net) wrote:
: On 13 May 1997 16:09:29 GMT, Carlos May wrote in alt.religion.kibology:
: /MY FEET ARE GOING POSTAL!!1!@!
: Not you too?
E. Holmes wears post-office shoes too?
: I thought real jazz d00ds were past this sort of thing...
Shoes? We don't need no stinking shoes!
Word, babes; but times we gotta take a straight day gig, dig?
-- F.
* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
"Moral disaster is coming to hundreds of young girls through
the pathological, sex-exciting music of jazz orchestras."
-- The Illinois Vigilance Association. * Tounge of Frog *
Carlos May
LawyerBoy 0.01 (jjsims@SPAM_ME_NOT.neosoft.com) wrote:
: fro...@praline.no.neosoft.com (Carlos May) wrote:
: >MY FEET ARE GOING POSTAL!!1!@!
: My newsreader is teasing me. Whenever there is an "@" symbol that is preceded
: and followed by other characters, Agent turns them into a clickable URL. I
: really want to click on POSTAL!!1!@! but I don't think it will go anywhere.
Once HAPPYNET is established, IT WILL!!
-- F.
--
* Fro...@neosoft.com ** "The Information Super-Frog" [dibs] *
Louis Nick III
On 14 May 1997, Lupus Yonderboy wrote:
> Thus spake sn...@u.washington.edu (Louis Nick III):
> >E.Holmes <eho...@onramp.net> wrote:
> >>E.(checking her watch for the correct universe setting)Holmes
> >She's got a watch with a minute hand, millenium hand and an eon hand...
>
> ...and when they meet it's a happy land. Powerful man. Urine man.
And it's Sambo time for Tambo.
> >Louis "Lance Henrikson and Greg Bear on the same watch? Scary!" Nick
>
> Not bad for a... human.
Degraded man. Person man.
--
"With sufficient imagination a man could write a whole series of versions
of his life; it would form a union of sets in which the facts would be the
only elements in common." -- Stanislaw Lem, _His Master's Voice_
=== Louis Nick III sn...@u.washington.edu alt.religion.louis-nick ===
E.Holmes
On 14 May 1997 15:11:23 GMT, Carlos May wrote in alt.religion.kibology:
/Word, babes; but times we gotta take a straight day gig, dig?
That's easy for YOU to say.
e.:-)
--
"Talk, Meow or get out of the Way." -- Fluffy
Nuggets
Brent MacArthur <bm...@best.com> wrote:
>What's Jooky? Is that an East coast thing? I thought Barq's was the
I'm not sure what this discussion is about... However, I thought it's
a coincidence that I just saw that ad for Jooky last night. If anyone
watched the whole commercial (as i have since I had nothing better to
do,) it was a spoof on pop dirink commercials by Sprite (you know,
"Drink for your thirst...")
Speaking of which, There are some commercials out there that I'm not
sure if it's for real or not (especially if it's played during
Saturday Night Live or MadTV..). For instance, Saturn Used Cars (what
is that about?).
And speaking of Spoof commercials, I found that there are a lot of
commercials out there that are spoofing each other. Last night I just
saw a Kibbles and Bits Commercial spoofing Dr. Ballards ("so and so,
professional dog breeder recommends..." and the dog takes off to eat
Kibbles and Bits.) I guess I don't watch enough TV.
Sorry about the tangent.
My favorite Gen-x drink... TAB cola, Fresca (although I noticed that
it's still going strong), Tahiti Treat (well,... I used to like it
when I was younger), and any pop cans that made the drinker punch two
holes on top to open it (remember? One small hole for air and one
larger hole for drinking out of? I guess some brilliant big wig exec
realized that the number of pop can injuries were rising when they
invented that. :) )
I'm still deciding what the beverage choice of our generation REALLY
is.... Whatever it is, it's not doing a great job. I just drink Diet
coke. :)
(another tangent...)
Anybody out here actually read the book, "Generation X" by Douglas
Coupland? I like his stuff... but according to his definition I just
barely made the age group (people born 60's to very early 70's...)
I didnt' know where to pose this question.
LAter!
===============================
Susan Yu
Scarborough, Ontario
"A stick of bread, a quart of butter, and a loaf of milk,"
===============================
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Thu, 15 May 1997 16:47:19 GMT, Nuggets wanted to
share:
:My favorite Gen-x drink... TAB cola, Fresca...
Is it true that drinking too much TAB will make you TURN GAY?
I actually found a 12-pack of TAB in the grocery store not long ago. Still
made with Saccarine. When NutraSweet first came out, I actually said I liked
Saccarine better, but after so many years, I tried TAB again and couldn't even
choke it down.
Of course, I've recently had to ask my doctor for a NutraSweet patch.
:I'm still deciding what the beverage choice of our generation REALLY
:is....
Beer. And expensive mixed drinks.
:(another tangent...)
:Anybody out here actually read the book, "Generation X" by Douglas
:Coupland? I like his stuff... but according to his definition I just
:barely made the age group (people born 60's to very early 70's...)
:I didnt' know where to pose this question.
There should be a newsgroup dedicated to the discussion of generation X. But
I really don't think any of us are organized enough to issue a control
message.
Jaffo
--
"An economy breathes through its tax loopholes."
-Barry Bracewell-Milnes
Anita Whiting
Nuggets wrote:
>
> Speaking of which, There are some commercials out there that I'm not
> sure if it's for real or not (especially if it's played during
> Saturday Night Live or MadTV..). For instance, Saturn Used Cars (what
> is that about?).
Nope, Saturn really does sell used cars. Like any other dealer, they
sell the trade-ins they get (I traded in my 1985 Ford which about
covered the taxes on my 1996 Saturn). It's just that, as with anything,
Saturn's a little wackier about it.
Anita
Bruce Ediger
sus...@ican.net (Nuggets) wrote:
>My favorite Gen-x drink... TAB cola, Fresca (although I noticed that
>it's still going strong), Tahiti Treat (well,... I used to like it
Jooky is a lot trendier, don't you think? Isn't it the premier
Generation X soft drink of choice?
Christopher Lyons
I bought some Jooky. Mine was broken. :(
______________________________________________________________________________
Christopher M. Lyons My from address has been altered to interfere
clyons @ concentric . net with spam mail programs.
"Stay away from the Jimi Hendrix Tilt-a-Whirl. You'll choke on your own
vomit."-- Doug Lathrop on alt.society.generation-x, refering to the planned
theme park on the Woodstock site.
"Cable without MTV is like twinkies without preservatives: Sure it's better,
but it's WRONG!"--Uncle Joe on irc.
Bryan Fullerton
In article <3380A1...@altair.com>, Anita Whiting <an...@altair.com> wrote:
>>
>Nope, Saturn really does sell used cars. Like any other dealer, they
>sell the trade-ins they get (I traded in my 1985 Ford which about
>covered the taxes on my 1996 Saturn). It's just that, as with anything,
>Saturn's a little wackier about it.
All this talk of Saturn is making me think of Thread31. Stop it.
Bryan
{I'd put more emotion into that, but I'm pretending to do work}
--
Bryan Fullerton "What is the sound of Perl? Is it not the sound
Samurai Consulting of a wall that people have stopped banging their
bry...@samurai.com heads against?" --Larry Wall
http://www.samurai.com/ There are Pretenders among us.
Nick S Bensema
In article <5mdiqk$psm$1...@nw001.infi.net>,
L. Shelton Bumgarner <bum...@removethis.infi.net> wrote:
>
>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
At many convenience stores there are a bunch of generic-looking orange bags
with various sugary crap inside them. Sometimes they have nuts inside them,
but usually it's sugary crap like orange gumdrop wedges and peppermints.
These bags often cost 50 cents, or at least 2 for $1.
Often, the selection of crap will include Gummi Bears, and even Gummi Worms.
I'd call it at least a handful.
By the way... whose idea was it to turn a food item into a cartoon show?
And why isn't there a Gummi Worms sequel?
Nick S Bensema
In article <5mdiqk$psm$1...@nw001.infi.net>,
L. Shelton Bumgarner <bum...@removethis.infi.net> wrote:
>
>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
If OI may make another sugestion.
I have a hunch if you go to Price Club, or something like that where food
is sold in bulk, you can buy a big-ass bag of Gummi Bears and save big on
unit costs.
That's going to be my entire diet for a month when I move out of the house.
L. Shelton Bumgarner
What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
lee
--
L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
[Please remove "REMOVETHIS" from my email to respond to my posts]
David DeLaney
bum...@removethis.infi.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) writes:
>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
No, it's just that the easily accessible strata of the world's only
Gummi Bear mine have been played out, so the supply is starting to get
a little lower.
Dave "I got a gummi rat for Xmas once" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Stephen Tanner
On 26 May 1997 20:59:00 -0700, ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema)
wrote:
>In article <5mdiqk$psm$1...@nw001.infi.net>,
>L. Shelton Bumgarner <bum...@removethis.infi.net> wrote:
>>
>>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
<Andy Rooney> Also, I get all these letters from people. I don't read
the letters. I set fire to them. Then I pour water on the flames,
and dump the whole mess out the window onto the people below. I don't
like people. I guess that makes me bad.</Andy Rooney>
[...]
>Often, the selection of crap will include Gummi Bears, and even Gummi Worms.
>I'd call it at least a handful.
>
>By the way... whose idea was it to turn a food item into a cartoon show?
>And why isn't there a Gummi Worms sequel?
I used to watch the Gummi Bears! I'd wake up early and sneak
downstairs, because I was embarassed to have anyone know I was
watching it. But I'd always wake up too early, so I'd do exercises
from Schaum's Outline of German Grammar by the light of the test
pattern.
Also, when my parents dragged me along on Study Abroad, I got really
bored in the Pantheon and started writing down BASIC programs on some
graph paper. If were a demand for HOT PHONE SEX with geeks, I'd be in
serious demand.
"What are you wearing?"
"Uh...same stuff I was yesterday. Hang on, lemme turn down the Dark
Crystal soundtrack."
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake tan...@aros.net (Stephen Tanner):
>If were a demand for HOT PHONE SEX with geeks, I'd be in serious demand.
>
>"What are you wearing?"
>"Uh...same stuff I was yesterday. Hang on, lemme turn down the Dark
> Crystal soundtrack."
I'm with you on that one.
"So if I was in the room with you, what would you do to me?"
"Avoid making eye contact and talk about Babylon 5. You're not
coming over are you?"
rosee
L. Shelton Bumgarner wrote in article <5mdiqk$psm$1...@nw001.infi.net>...
>
>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
>
>lee
Well, Lee,
Probably not. It never seems to really work that way, at least not with
stuff that I want, anyway. I probably shouldn't mention this, but I do
remember when there was no such thing as gummy bears. About the closest
thing you could get were jujubes, and those were 4 for a penny!!
rosee
rosee
rosee
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Wed, 28 May 1997 01:11:06 GMT, Katrin
Luessenheide Salyers wanted to share:
:On 27 May 1997 13:37:01 GMT, asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus
:Yonderboy) wrote:
:
:>"So if I was in the room with you, what would you do to me?"
:>"Avoid making eye contact and talk about Babylon 5. You're not
:> coming over are you?"
:
:Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
If Ian York doesn't follow this up in 3 days, I'm making the joke for him.
Jaffo
--
"Mises was right, and Lenin was wrong. That is the great lesson
of the 20th century." -- Yuri N. Maltsev, Former Soviet Economist
Peter Dubuque
bum...@removethis.infi.net (L. Shelton Bumgarner) writes:
>What I wanna know is -- how come Gummy Bears are so damn expensive
>these days? I can recall a time not too long ago when you could get a
>fairly nice size bag of the things for about 25c. Now, you get less
>than a handfull for 75c. Is another aspect of the economy become
>cheaper, thus evening things out in the long run?
Blame it on tropical deforestation. The rain forests of Brazil used to be
full of gummi trees, but so many of them have been chopped down that the
supply of raw gummi is a lot lower than it was.
--
Peter F. Dubuque - dub...@laraby.tiac.net - Enemy of Reason(TM) O-
Katrin Luessenheide Salyers
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake ja...@onramp.net:
>Katrin Luessenheide Salyers wanted to share:
He apologizes for physics, not bad dates, right?
Have you ever had a bad date, or know someone who has?
Christopher Carrell
In article <5mhrik$idc$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU> asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>Thus spake ja...@onramp.net:
>>Katrin Luessenheide Salyers wanted to share:
>>:asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) wrote:
>>:>"So if I was in the room with you, what would you do to me?"
>>:>"Avoid making eye contact and talk about Babylon 5. You're not
>>:> coming over are you?"
>>:
>>:Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
>>
>>If Ian York doesn't follow this up in 3 days, I'm making the joke for him.
>
>He apologizes for physics, not bad dates, right?
>
>Have you ever had a bad date, or know someone who has?
All dates are bad dates. The ones that sit in the back of the fridge for
five years are worse than others. Nasty things those dates.
Chris "Give me Brazil nuts" Carrell
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake c...@pandora.bio.purdue.edu (Christopher Carrell):
>asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>>Have you ever had a bad date, or know someone who has?
>
Too expensive. I could give you a slightly loony Juan
Valdez, if you like.
Crazy Uncle Joe
kat...@dimensional.com (Katrin Levelheaded Salyers) said:
>On 27 May 1997 13:37:01 GMT, asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus
>Yonderboy) wrote:
>
>>"So if I was in the room with you, what would you do to me?"
>>"Avoid making eye contact and talk about Babylon 5. You're not
>> coming over are you?"
>
>Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
And how *was* the honeymoon, anyway?
<duck and run>
Joe
Crazy Uncle Joe
han...@primenet.com
Elitist A-List Bastard
Katrin Luessenheide Salyers
On 28 May 1997 09:49:03 -0700, han...@primenet.com.no.spam
(Differently Brained Uncle Joe) wrote:
>And how *was* the honeymoon, anyway?
>
><duck and run>
I'll have you know I got slapped for laughing at that.
Tom Salyers
In article <338c61a2...@news.primenet.com>,
han...@primenet.com.no.spam (Crazy Uncle Joe) says...
> kat...@dimensional.com (Katrin Levelheaded Salyers) said:
> >Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
>
> And how *was* the honeymoon, anyway?
> <duck and run>
C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
--
Tom Salyers "Now is the Windows of our disk contents
IRCnick: Aqualung Made glorious SimEarth by this Sun of Zork."
Denver, CO --from _Richard v3.0_
http://www.dimensional.com/~tsalyers/
Dave Mooney
Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>han...@primenet.com.no.spam (Crazy Uncle Joe) says...
>> kat...@dimensional.com (Katrin Levelheaded Salyers) said:
>>> Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
>> And how *was* the honeymoon, anyway?
>> <duck and run>
> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
I thought that you didn't need one of those after you got married.
Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
dave
Peter Dubuque
d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>I thought that you didn't need one of those after you got married.
>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
Christopher Carrell
asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>
>Thus spake d...@vnet.ibm.com.no.spam:
>>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>>
>
>
>Ian York: "Sorry."
>
>Kibo: "FUNNY! FUNNY! CANDY!"
>
>Yonderboy: "Hang on to your ego."
>
>'Jesse Garon': "Goddamndest mass of tact."
>
>Home Depot: "Goddamndest mass of tacks known to man."
>
>Shaft: "Damn right! Can you dig it? Right on! Shut yo' mouth!"
For a higher bozo index...
I thought it was...
Kibo: "DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY!"
Chris
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake d...@vnet.ibm.com.no.spam:
>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>
>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
She-Bop.
Ian York: "Sorry."
Kibo: "FUNNY! FUNNY! CANDY!"
Yonderboy: "Hang on to your ego."
'Jesse Garon': "Goddamndest mass of tact."
Home Depot: "Goddamndest mass of tacks known to man."
Shaft: "Damn right! Can you dig it? Right on! Shut yo' mouth!"
--
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake c...@pandora.bio.purdue.edu (Christopher Carrell):
>asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>
>I thought it was...
>Kibo: "DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY!"
You need to watch... THE SPECIAL SHOW
======================================================
Copyright (C) 1996 James "Kibo" Parry
Todos los derechos reservados.
THE SPECIAL SHOW!
=================
12/4/96 BROADCAST
FADE IN
A stern-looking, rather wide NURSE (who looks like Chris Farley after a
sex change, with glasses) is dressed entirely in white, standing in
front of a white padded wall. There is a window which shows an all-white
landscape made out of paper.
NURSE
I'm sorry, you're not allowed to watch normal television any
more. You have to watch... THE SPECIAL SHOW.
She pulls a TV cart into view from screen right. The TV's case is
painted white, as is the cart. A WORKMAN dressed in white coveralls and
white painter's cap follows, touching up the white paint on the TV. The
TV shows a revolving chrome logo that spells out "THE SPECIAL SHOW". As
the announcer reads the title, the workman begins painting the screen
white.
TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The! Special! Mmmmmmph!
FADE TO WHITE
FADE TO:
KIBO, our host, is the perfect host for this show. He is someone that
insane people will love and trust. His hair is the tip-off. He is
standing in front of a psychedelic background, wearing a fireman's coat.
He will appear thus between film clips.
KIBO
Hey everybody! Let's have some fun!
SFX: TRUMPET FANFARE
SMASH-CUT TO:
TITLE CARD: FUNNY FUNNY CANDY
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Funny! Funny! Candy!
KIBO is holding a small piece of candy in each hand.
KIBO
(excited)
Nougat... (re his other hand) ...antinougat! (He touches them
together and we see stock footage of the Earth exploding, then
we see Kibo with black smudges all over his face.)
TITLE CARD: FUNNY FUNNY CANDY
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Funny! Funny! Candy!
KIBO his holding a large block of something wet.
KIBO
(whiny)
My fuuuudge won't stop bleeeeding!
TITLE CARD: FUNNY FUNNY CANDY
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Funny! Funny! Candy!
KIBO is waving a blackboard eraser in front of a bluescreen, which is
showing a close-up of a bowl of canned chili.
KIBO
(happy)
I'm erasing chili!
TITLE CARD: CANDY ALL GONE
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(singsong)
Candy all gone!
DISSOLVE TO:
KIBO against the psychedelic background again.
KIBO
Wow, wasn't that funny? No, it wasn't "funny", it was "funny
funny"! Now let's see something "funny funny funny"!
CUT TO:
TITLE CARD: THE STRANGER
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(whispering)
The stranger...
FADE TO:
A grizzled GAS STATION ATTENDANT is sitting in a rocking chair by the
side of the road in the middle of the desert. A FILTHY DISGUSTING BUM
walks up.
FILTHY DISGUSTING BUM
(articulate)
Pardon me, but I could use some directions as I appear
to be lost.
GAS STATION ATTENDANT
You filthy disgusting bum, your body is covered with head lice
and foot odor and you never take a bath and you smell like cheese!
FILTHY DISGUSTING BUM
Yeah, but at least I ain't lost!
FAST-MOTION WITH WACKY MUSIC: The ATTENDANT kicks the BUM in the butt
several times and chases him off to the horizon, waving his arms
frantically.
CUT TO:
KIBO, against the psychedelic background.
KIBO
Whee! Do you wanna see something seeeecret?
(KIBO walks over to an easel holding up a large geometric diagram)
KIBO
Loooooooook! The pennnntagon is full of hexagons!
SFX: WACKY BOING
TITLE CARD: THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The! Most! Dangerous! Game!
A BOY and GIRL are sitting on the floor. The boy rolls a handful of
dice. He picks up two and rolls them again. He picks up one and rolls it
again.
BOY
Yahtzee!
The both drop dead.
TITLE CARD: KIBO'S SCIENCE SEGMENT
KIBO is in front of a large jail cell which has a sign saying "ALL THE
SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD". Several are inside. ALBERT EINSTEIN has his
head stuck between the bars.
KIBO
Hello, Einstein!
EINSTEIN
(crying)
Kibo, I admit I was wrong to oppose your brilliant theory that
the entire Universe is just a huge holographic fractal made of water
vapor! All past scientific discoveries pale in comparison with your
one true theory that explains all science forever!
KIBO
(very cheerful)
Sorry! Not good enough.
KIBO cuts Einstein's head off with a giant pair of scissors and opens
the door. EINSTEIN'S HEADLESS BODY runs out. We see Einstein's body
running through the streets, scaring people. The body rides through a
car wash and at the other end, only Einstein's skeleton comes out.
TITLE CARD: THAT'S A BIG SHEET OF PAPER
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(honestly impressed)
That's a big sheet of paper!
BOY #2 is lying on an endless sheet of paper that goes to the horizon.
He is doodling with crayons. A signpost stuck in the paper about twenty
feet away says "Welcome to Paperlandia".
BOY #2
(singing to himself)
La, la, la, la da da...
MOM
(walking past from screen right)
Honey, you've gotta write smaller because the paper is so big.
INSERT: Close-up of boy's "can you believe this?" expression.
SFX: WACKY SPLAT
BOY #2 goes back to coloring.
POP
(walking past from screen right)
Honey, if you keep writing that small, we'll have to get you
glasses you don't need!
INSERT: Same close-up
SFX: WACKY RICOCHET
BOY #2 goes back to coloring.
MOM & POP
(together, as they walk past from screen right)
Son, you're perfect just the way you are. In fact, you're too
perfect. No TV for you tonight!
BOY #2
But, Mom & Pop, you said I could watch "The Special Show"!
MOM & POP
(shouting from offscreen)
Not until you resign from the Presidency!
INSERT: Same close-up
SFX: TAPE OF "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"
CUT TO:
KIBO, in front of the psychedelic background. He is still wearing the
fireman's coat.
KIBO
(as the background bursts into flame)
Well, did you like the show? I sure did. Tune in next week, when
we'll show you why computers don't like me!
THE PICTURE CRUMPLES UP INTO A LITTLE BALL AND FLIES OFF INTO OUTER
SPACE, WHERE IT EXPLODES. LETTERS COME OUT OF THE EXPLOSION AND SWIRL
AROUND TO SPELL OUT "THE END".
FADE TO WHITE
FADE TO:
The NURSE in the white room is using a fire hose on white TV as it
burns. The paper landscape is also burning. A man dressed as NAPOLEON
runs past the window, laughing.
NAPOLEON
I'm free! I'm free!
NURSE
I curse your genius, Napoleon!
NAPOLEON
Tee-hee!
FADE TO BLACK
TITLE CARD: A PRODUCTION OF THE SPECIAL CHANNEL
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Bye-bye!
David DeLaney
asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>Thus spake dub...@shell1.tiac.net (Peter Dubuque):
>>d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>>>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>>
>
The "Scooby Doo Theme Song" by I dunno who.
Dave "see, they all travel 'round in this 'wagon', and we all know what
_that_ stands for..." DeLaney
steven r kleinedler
In article <dubuque....@shell1.tiac.net>,
Peter Dubuque <dub...@shell1.tiac.net> wrote:
>d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>
>
>
>What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
>
I TOUCH MYSELF BY THE DIVYNLS.
--
This message has been brought to you by Steve Kleinedler.
Lupus Yonderboy
>
>What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
"New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra.
"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere..."
I mean, honestly.
Bill Marcum
In message <5mdm9s$4...@nntp02.primenet.com>,
>is sold in bulk, you can buy a big-ass bag of Gummi Bears and save big on
>unit costs.
>
>That's going to be my entire diet for a month when I move out of the house.
>
--
Bill Marcum bmarcum at iglou dot com
"I'm looking at PAGES AND PAGES of stuff even the Franklin Mint couldn't
give away for free." -- K. Mennie
Bill Marcum
In message <5ml2jk$sdr$1...@gaia.ns.utk.edu>,
d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu (David DeLaney) wrote:
>asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>>Thus spake dub...@shell1.tiac.net (Peter Dubuque):
>>>d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>>>>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>>>
>>>What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
>>
>>"New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra.
>
>
>Dave "see, they all travel 'round in this 'wagon', and we all know what
> _that_ stands for..." DeLaney
I'm showing my age, but...
"Psychotherapy" by Melanie
"A thing is a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide
As the Id goes marching on"
Nick S Bensema
In article <dubuque....@shell1.tiac.net>,
Peter Dubuque <dub...@shell1.tiac.net> wrote:
>d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>
>>I thought that you didn't need one of those after you got married.
>
>
>What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
You mean Cyndi Lauper knows some?
--
N i c k B e n s e m a < n i c k b @ p r i m e n e t . c o m >
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
98-KUPD Red Card Holder #710563 [THIS SPACE UNDER CONSTRUCTION]
Crazy Uncle Joe
dub...@shell1.tiac.net (Peter Dubious) said:
>d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
>>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try out...
>
>>I thought that you didn't need one of those after you got married.
>
>>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>
>What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
>
Candied Fuzz
On Thu, 29 May 1997, steven r kleinedler shouted:
> >>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
> >>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
> >What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
> I TOUCH MYSELF BY THE DIVYNLS.
Prince's "Darling Nikki" opens with this line:
'I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.'
Fuzz.
"Anyone consistently consistent has a head made out of biscuit."
-- Truman Capote
Jennifer Carswell
u>:
Distribution:
Candied Fuzz (jle...@tiger3.ocs.lsu.edu) wrote:
: Prince's "Darling Nikki" opens with this line:
: 'I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
: I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.'
I just don't think that would work. I mean, the magazine would get all
soggy, and there are places you just *don't* want papercuts..
(And was this magazine rolled, or flat???)
Jenn Carswell -- jen...@islandnet.com
(Constantly risking absurdity
and death)
Tim Meehan
On 29 May 1997 18:37:06 GMT, asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy)
was inspired to say:
>Shaft: "Damn right! Can you dig it? Right on! Shut yo' mouth!"
YM "Shaq."
-Tim (he's a complicated man, no one understands him but his woman...)
Tim Meehan - Toronto, Ontario - +1 416 449 2369
tim.m...@utoronto.ca - http://webhome.idirect.com/~tmeehan (under development)
"Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It would Visit www.druglibrary.org and
put a terrible strain on the animators' arms." just say no to trucks.
WEBmadman
> dub...@shell1.tiac.net (Peter Dubious) said:
> >d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) writes:
> >>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
> >>> C'mere, Joe...I have a new weed-whacker I've been wanting to try
> out...
> >
> >>I thought that you didn't need one of those after you got married.
> >
> does?
> >
> >What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
> "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes, off of their self titled
> album.
Love and Groovyness,WEBmadman
Electric Say What
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/7762
Tim Meehan
On 31 May 1997 07:36:
>: 'I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
>: I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.'
>
>I just don't think that would work. I mean, the magazine would get all
>soggy, and there are places you just *don't* want papercuts..
OUCH.
-Tim
Marsha Roana
d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Mooney) wrote:
>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
Try Self Abuser by the Fauves, and Australian band par excellence!!
****************************
Sucky a FANzine
PO Box 8150, Subiaco East WA 6008 Australia
mar...@rocketmail.com or pig...@iinet.com.au
coates
Dave Mooney (d...@torolab.ibm.com) explained:
: Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
There's a whole section on that in the alt.urban.folklore faq.
--
john coates "I prefer to talk with children, for it is still possible
to hope that they may become rational beings. But those
who have already become so -- good Lord!"
-- Kierkegaard
Martin Mogk
What about "Imaginary Lover"?
WEBmadman <surre...@hotmail.com> wrote in article
<3391E20B...@hotmail.com>...
>
>
Crazy Uncle Joe
coa...@is.nyu.edu (coated) said:
>Dave Mooney (d...@torolab.ibm.com) explained:
>
>: Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>
>There's a whole section on that in the alt.urban.folklore faq.
That is *such* a myth!
a.f.u. has never discussed masturbation - that whole story got started
because somebody posted .gifs of Joel Furr typing one handed.
Joe - what about She Bop?
Dave Mooney
Crazy Uncle Joe <hanibal*@*primenet.com.no.spam> wrote:
> "Darling Nikki" is a song about Masturbation???
> What about She Bop, by Cyndi Lauper?
Has anybody mentioned "I Touch Myself" by Divine?
>> I just don't think that would work. I mean, the magazine would get all
>> soggy, and there are places you just *don't* want papercuts..
>>
>> (And was this magazine rolled, or flat???)
> If it was flat, I want GIFs!
Actually, I think we should demand the GIFs either way.
dave
levin michael aaron
What about the Hanson's mmmmmBop or are they too young to grow hair on
their palms, go blind and get acne? Also, what town in Oklahoma are they
from?
On Sat, 31 May 1997, Candied Fuzz wrote:
> On Thu, 29 May 1997, steven r kleinedler shouted:
>
> > >>Tom Salyers <tsal...@dimen.spambots-die.sional.com> wrote:
>
> > >>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>
> > >What about "She Bop" by Cindy Lauper?
>
> > I TOUCH MYSELF BY THE DIVYNLS.
>
> Prince's "Darling Nikki" opens with this line:
> 'I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
> I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.'
>
leanne kemmler
>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>
>dave
icicle, icicle -- tori amos
"and when they say take of this body/ i think i'll take of mine
instead/getting off, getting off/ while they are all downstairs/
singing praise, sing away/ he's in my pumpkin pj's/ lay your book on
my chest/ feel the words, feel the words, feel the words, feel them/ i
could have/ i would have/ i should have/ blown over/ i could have/ i
should have/ i would have/ blown away..."
*blink*
<looks around>
"granny?"
"anyone?"
"phew!"
*fumble* *fumble* *fumble*
"gawdammed belts!"
*looks up* *blink*
"oh, pardon me!"
<hit SEND usenet message>
<turn off computer>
<run to the basement>
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
leanne
"if you had a funeral, i'd be there with bells on,
lala la la lalala, lala la la lalala, lala la la
lalala, lalala, lalala, lalalala la lala, lala la
lala lalalala..."-sloan
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake rco...@interlynx.net (leanne kemmler):
>>Does anyone know of any songs about masturbation or know anyone who does?
>
Seasame Street Theme -- Children's Television Workshop
"Sunny days/Chasing the clouds away/
On my way/To where the air is sweet/
Won't you tell me how to get/
How to get to Sesame Street."
Talk about perverted. "Tickle Me Elmo," indeed.
Crazy Uncle Joe
d...@torolab.ibm.com (Dave Moaned) said:
>Crazy Uncle Joe <hanibal*@*primenet.com.no.spam> wrote:
>> "Darling Nikki" is a song about Masturbation???
>> What about She Bop, by Cyndi Lauper?
>Has anybody mentioned "I Touch Myself" by Divine?
"I Touch Myself" is about masturbation???
What about "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper?
>>> I just don't think that would work. I mean, the magazine would get all
>>> soggy, and there are places you just *don't* want papercuts..
>>>
>>> (And was this magazine rolled, or flat???)
>> If it was flat, I want GIFs!
>
>Actually, I think we should demand the GIFs either way.
Good Point. Unless Darling Nikki is really TheArtist in a skirt.
Joe
Nick S Bensema
In article <5n40la$5r3$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>,
Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>Seasame Street Theme -- Children's Television Workshop
>
>"Sunny days/Chasing the clouds away/
> On my way/To where the air is sweet/
THAT'S the mystery lyric!
I've been looking for that lyric for ages upon ages!
My work here is done. (beams up)
--
N i c k B e n s e m a < n i c k b @ p r i m e n e t . c o m >
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
98-KUPD Red Card Holder #710563 NO TRESPASSING. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT.
Teg Pipes
ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) writes:
> Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
> >Seasame Street Theme -- Children's Television Workshop
> >
> >"Sunny days/Chasing the clouds away/
> > On my way/To where the air is sweet/
>
> I've been looking for that lyric for ages upon ages!
> My work here is done. (beams up)
DOE: Welcome, Nick! Here is your electrolysis device and a pair of
scissors. Get to work.
-Teg
Bambang Nugroho
In article <5mhtvb$1...@mozo.cc.purdue.edu>
c...@pandora.bio.purdue.edu (Christopher Carrell) writes:
>In article <5mhrik$idc$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>
asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) writes:
>>Thus spake ja...@onramp.net:
>>>Katrin Luessenheide Salyers wanted to share:
>>>:asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU (Lupus Yonderboy) wrote:
>>>:>"So if I was in the room with you, what would you do to me?"
>>>:>"Avoid making eye contact and talk about Babylon 5. You're not
>>>:> coming over are you?"
>>>:
>>>:Hey, I had a date like that once! I'll spare the details for now...
>>>
>>>If Ian York doesn't follow this up in 3 days, I'm making the joke for
him.
>>
>>He apologizes for physics, not bad dates, right?
>>
>>Have you ever had a bad date, or know someone who has?
>
>All dates are bad dates. The ones that sit in the back of the fridge for
>five years are worse than others. Nasty things those dates.
>
>Chris "Give me Brazil nuts" Carrell
>
Matthew William Damick
Nick S Bensema (ni...@primenet.com) wrote:
: In article <5n40la$5r3$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>,
: Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
: >Seasame Street Theme -- Children's Television Workshop
: >
: >"Sunny days/Chasing the clouds away/
: > On my way/To where the air is sweet/
:
: THAT'S the mystery lyric!
:
: I've been looking for that lyric for ages upon ages!
:
: My work here is done. (beams up)
YM: "Your work here is done, my friend. Go up to the command ship and
await my orders."
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to...
--
=========== Matt "The ThighMaster" Damick === NC State
================= mwda...@unity.ncsu.edu === Chemical
=Now, with even *more* sagacious efflundency= Engineering
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake mwda...@unity.ncsu.edu (Matthew William Damick):
>YM: "Your work here is done, my friend. Go up to the command ship and
> await my orders."
He will come to me?
>Can you tell me how to get,
>How to get to...
What's the story (morning glory) between Big Bird
and Snuffaluffagus anyway? Are they as gay as Bert and
Ernie? Or are they... MORE GAY?
"Okay okay okay Bert. I'll clean it up so clean you won't even
recognize it."
-- EMF
--
Alex Suter
"That's some pig!"
http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~asuter/
Ted Frank
In article <5nhgs1$a6o$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>,
Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>"Okay okay okay Bert. I'll clean it up so clean you won't even
> recognize it."
> -- EMF
SSC #1: I have this album.
SSC #2: I have the followup album, which sucked.
SSC #3: Kia won't let me play either album, because they were recorded
after 1975.
--
"I could have drowned. Kennedy saved my life."
-- Robert Reich, "Locked in the Cabinet," using an
infelicitous aquatic metaphor to describe Senate hearings