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Can’t get a date?
Yes you can!
So, you’re a single lesbian and you’re having a hard time “getting the girl”. Are you using old lines such as: “Have I seen you somewhere before?” or “Your feet must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day!”?
Seriously, you’re embarrassing me.
So, here are some tips to get your potential love interest to say yes to that first date that you will be paying for (see my previous article on why this should be on your tab!):
1) The best way to get a girl’s attention is by paying attention. Look her in the eyes when she speaks. Be responsive. Don’t let her carry the entire conversation. Ask questions. Face her when you both are speaking.
2) A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy. So smile. Smile a lot. Smiling is warm, inviting and an excellent tool when flirting.
3) Which brings us to flirting! Flirting is an art. Some are born with the ability; some have to work a bit harder. The key to remember when flirting is not to be overbearing. Do not be presumptuous. And do not under any circumstance “cut to the chase” and just ask her to come home with you. Believe me, I’ve had someone do that and even if she had once had a chance, it quickly plummeted. Be charming.
4) Give subtle compliments but don’t spend the entire time complimenting her. You’ll seem too eager. Being too eager screams of desperation and you never want to come off as desperate.
5) The next time you see her, ask her about something your previously spoke about. “How’s your dog doing? I remember he was sick the last time we spoke.” Let her know that you were paying attention and that you remembered your conversation. Everyone wants to be memorable.
6) Save the cockiness for joking around with your buddies. There is a stark difference between confidence and conceit. If you are in love with yourself, then you definitely don’t need her to be in love with you too.
7) On the flip side, don’t talk down about yourself. Avoid constantly putting you or your life down. This forces her to be polite and try to “bring you back up” and instantly you have already made yourself a burden on her. Negativity is definitely a turn-off.
7) Dress for the occasion. I am sorry to say it but looks are important. No, everyone doesn’t have to be a beauty queen or king, but you really have to show her your best. Dress up. Wear a sexy cologne or perfume but don’t drown yourself in it. Just enough so that if she gets close enough it will tickle her senses.
8) Curb the swearing. While letting a curse word escape your lips here and there is all part of a normal conversation, letting your tongue lash out like a drunken sailor is another thing entirely. Show her respect by reeling in the harsher vocabulary; at least until she’s hopelessly in love with you.
9) Don’t be an attention hog. If you’re at a party and she seems to want to walk away to do whatever it is people do at parties, let her go. Don’t crowd her. If she’s interested, she will circle back around to you.
10) Don’t stalk her. If you see her name pop up on your instant messaging program, do not IM her every time you see her. Let her come to you sometimes. If every time she logs in you pop up on her screen, she will quickly become annoyed with you. If she does pop up on your instant messenger and you decide you will speak, at least wait a minute before doing so.
11) Be polite. You would be surprised how far manners will get you.
12) Soften your voice a bit. That’s right, turn on your bedroom voice. It couldn’t hurt to get her to start thinking about what it could be like when you two are cuddled up in bed together.
13) If you’re a butch, be chivalrous. Pull out all the stops. A butch-loving femme will definitely appreciate it.
14) If you’re a butch-loving femme, you probably don’t want to ask your butch out, so you have to be a bit subtler. Learn to work your feminine charms. Flirty smiles, a little biting of the lip and eye contact go farther than you realize.
So now you are fully equipped with all the tools you need to get that first date. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and show them what you’re made of. Can’t get a date? Yes you can!