making waves (at work)
Kimberley T. Smith
I decided to make waves today... at work! I'm a little nervous, but I'm
feeling good in general...
I wore my BGLAD T-shirt to work (along with my ratty pair of loved jeans
complete with home sewn side-panels and owl patches on one knee). Afterall,
it's a Friday -- good day to wear my Wesleyan garb.
The t-shirt is really cool: a big pink triangle on the front surrounded by
"antique-looking" scrollwork and the words, "Silentium = Mors. BGLAD 1991.
Universitas Wesleyana". The back says, "Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian Awareness
Days "(etc.)
I'm a little wary. My workplace is not exactly a politically aware environment.
It's a research lab with over 100 employees. Like I said, I'm wary. But I
think this is something that people should deal with. Unfortunately, it's a
painful process. I just can't stand living in this culture with an assumption
of heterosexuality. This sales guy down the hall from me (he's the only sales
person in the building) is the worst I've encountered up 'til today. He's
always making these cracks about homosexuality--you know, the "subtle" kind
that are so intrinsic to the third grade or so. People go along with him and
his jokes (They wouldn't know how to do anything else.). Up 'til now I've
tolerated him by ignoring his offensive comments (letting a scathing look of
heartfelt derision graze his immediate proximity, of course). We've already
had a confrontation once where he strongly suggested that I had ideas/morals
that he didn't necessary agree with just like he had those I didn't agree with
(but we still get along... (yeah, right!)).
Anyway, my lover (male) has given me no voluntary support. I asked him if he
was worried because this was a reflection on him. He said, "Of course." I
had hoped he would have decided to take no shit from people because I wore a
t-shirt (one in particular) to work. He says he's willing to defend me.
He hasn't said anything about defending "the cause", but I know that's part of
what he means. I pointed out the fact that he hadn't given me any direct
support, explaining that he could be psyched for me. He immediately said he
was psyched.
I just wish things weren't so wrapped up in the personal. Like my lover's
neglect in supporting me because he was worried about personal repercussions.
But I guess personal is what we're all about. I want to be accepted as a
person (and not allow others to ignore my existence).
--kim
send non-news e-mail to KSM...@EAGLE.WESLEYAN.EDU.
Keith Duddy
> Hi folks, I need your support.
Hi Kim,
> I decided to make waves today... at work! I'm a little nervous, but I'm
> feeling good in general...
> I wore my BGLAD T-shirt to work (along with my ratty pair of loved jeans
> complete with home sewn side-panels and owl patches on one knee). Afterall,
> it's a Friday -- good day to wear my Wesleyan garb.
> The t-shirt is really cool: a big pink triangle on the front surrounded by
> "antique-looking" scrollwork and the words, "Silentium = Mors. BGLAD 1991.
> Universitas Wesleyana". The back says, "Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian Awareness
> Days "(etc.)
I think you're really courageous, I've been thinking about doing
something similar around here for a while now.
I'd worked out a kind of schedule for coming out to people other than
friends, and it's pretty well implemeted now, except for work. I came
out to my parents just before the Pride march in Brisbane (less than a
month ago now) and I had naiively hoped that being out on the streets
would maybe get me on T.V. or seen by shoppers or something - but the
media either stayed away (all the newspapers ignored us) or misreported
it as an AIDS rally (and showed very little footage.) and the march was
on a dissapointing route that went past very few people. 2 out of 4 T.V
stations turned up, one reported it as an AIDS rally and the other
didn't report it at all. Anyway that all aside - I probably won't do
anything quite so brave for a while - but I work fairly closely with a
group of people and I can probably let it be known that I'm bi in a more
personal way.
Hearing stories like yours is always an inspiration - please update
soc.bi on the effects of your experiment.
> Anyway, my lover (male) has given me no voluntary support. I asked him if he
> was worried because this was a reflection on him. He said, "Of course." I
> had hoped he would have decided to take no shit from people because I wore a
> t-shirt (one in particular) to work. He says he's willing to defend me.
> He hasn't said anything about defending "the cause", but I know that's part of
> what he means. I pointed out the fact that he hadn't given me any direct
> support, explaining that he could be psyched for me. He immediately said he
> was psyched.
Luckily my lover, also male (but that means also Queer), is more out
at work than me, and is behind me 150%. You must have good reasons for
seeing this guy so I won't recommend something as trite as dumping him,
but you really need the people closest to you to give you some backing.
> I just wish things weren't so wrapped up in the personal. Like my lover's
> neglect in supporting me because he was worried about personal repercussions.
> But I guess personal is what we're all about. I want to be accepted as a
> person (and not allow others to ignore my existence).
> --kim
I guess a big *HUG* is in order!
Keith
P.S. maybe this demuffining will assist me in being more out at work, as
there are a couple of deranged people at work who read (or have read) bi
& motss for "amusement".
--
\\\\\ /////
//// keith duddy - slave to the rhythm \\\\
\\\ stallion technologies - 56 sylvan rd, toowong, qld 4066, australia ///
// ph fx mail uunet \\
\+61-7-870-4999 +61-7-371-8881 kei...@stallion.oz.au uunet!staltec!keithd/
Coe Salzgeber
>In <1992Jul17....@philabs.philips.com> k...@philabs.philips.com (Kimberley T. Smith) writes:
>
>> Hi folks, I need your support.
>Hi Kim,
>> I decided to make waves today... at work! I'm a little nervous, but I'm
>> feeling good in general...
>
>> I wore my BGLAD T-shirt to work (along with my ratty pair of loved jeans
>> complete with home sewn side-panels and owl patches on one knee). Afterall,
>> it's a Friday -- good day to wear my Wesleyan garb.
>
>> The t-shirt is really cool: a big pink triangle on the front surrounded by
>> "antique-looking" scrollwork and the words, "Silentium = Mors. BGLAD 1991.
>> Universitas Wesleyana". The back says, "bisexual, Gay, Lesbian Awareness
>> Days "(etc.)
T-shirts are such a simple way to come out at work. I was feeling weird
because my colleagues it into two groups: those i go out with and those
i don't. They all know i've liked men, because my ex works here too.
And those i go out with know i'm in a relationship with a woman. But the
others... Well, i finally bought a t-shirt advertising Deneuve magazine,
with a breathtakingly beautiful picture of a mostly naked woman (only
her back shows), and i wore it to one of our major meetings. Not a
single comment (except from my ex - "Nice shirt, Coe"), but i know it
got noticed.
Oh no, now maybe they just think i don't like men any more... have to
get an equally eye-catching shirt with a man on it. Any suggestions?
>> I just wish things weren't so wrapped up in the personal. Like my lover's
>> neglect in supporting me because he was worried about personal repercussions.
>> But I guess personal is what we're all about. I want to be accepted as a
>> person (and not allow others to ignore my existence).
Such a brave move is a great step. Did you feel good that you wore the shirt?
I sure did, like "now they know more of who i am". Very empowering.
I hope your lover sees that supporting you as you are is important.
*hug*
-Coe
--
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Theta waves are brain waves
Coe L. Salzgeber - San Luis Obispo, CA ! (4-7hz) that are dominant in children
Internet: cjoh...@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU ! ages 2 - 5 and in psychopaths.
Swamp Thing
>Hi folks, I need your support.
>I decided to make waves today... at work! I'm a little nervous, but I'm
>feeling good in general...
>I wore my BGLAD T-shirt to work (along with my ratty pair of loved jeans
>complete with home sewn side-panels and owl patches on one knee). Afterall,
>it's a Friday -- good day to wear my Wesleyan garb.
Hi Kimberley,
I shan't go into lots of detail as Bill and Keith and Coe have already
said all that needs saying, but you have my support as well. It took me
a long time to get up the courage to wear pink triangles and bi tshirts
to work so I know it's difficult. And although folk seem quite straight
in this department it's a very easy-going atmosphere so it's no big deal
around here really. So good for you Kim, hang on in there and I hope
your SO doesn't take too long to rally to your support.
Sara
--
>{8-) Sara Hopkins (-8}< _____^__
Geography Dept. Edinburgh Uni. Drummond St. \ OOO/ / The Thing
Edinburgh, EH8 9XP, UK. +44 (0/31) 650 2662 \++/ / From
>{8-) sa...@geovax.ed.ac.uk (-8}< \/\/ The Swamp
Swamp Thing
> I'm wearing black jeans with black suede high heels. The sides of
> my hair are tied back with a black ribbon. A little eye make-up and
> my usual jewelry completes the picture (oh a t-shirt on top too).
Fem gear to work! Knock em dead, Bill ...
Richard Lynch
>P.S. maybe this demuffining will assist me in being more out at work, as
>there are a couple of deranged people at work who read (or have read) bi
>& motss for "amusement".
Hopefully, they'll stick around for enlightenment. :-)
Seriously, don't dismiss such a person as 'phobic too soon. Could be more
"interest" than "amusement".
The signal-to-flame ratio is extremely high here, don't forget.
--
"TANSTAAFL" ly...@aristotle.ils.nwu.edu
Olaf Seibert
>because my colleagues it into two groups: those i go out with and those
>i don't. They all know i've liked men, because my ex works here too.
>And those i go out with know i'm in a relationship with a woman. But the
>others... Well, i finally bought a t-shirt advertising Deneuve magazine,
>with a breathtakingly beautiful picture of a mostly naked woman (only
>her back shows), and i wore it to one of our major meetings. Not a
>single comment (except from my ex - "Nice shirt, Coe"), but i know it
>got noticed.
>Oh no, now maybe they just think i don't like men any more... have to
>get an equally eye-catching shirt with a man on it. Any suggestions?
Shit! I really wish my `Too cute to be straight' t-shirt had been
finished /before/ I went to Edinburgh!
To tell the whole story: In some posting here I read something about
2Q2BSTR8-t-shirts. I mentioned this in the glb-group I'm in, and one of
the guys decided to make himself a t-shirt out of it for an upcoming
party of that same group. It features that text (but fully expanded)
on the front, and below it a picture (from some porno mag, or
something) of a man wearing only a jacket, head bent over backwards,
and even his penis is visible. In full color (even though a bit dark).
The picture on the back is even more explicit: it shows an erect penis
and two handcuffed hands, and the text below reads `too straight to be
cute'. Whatever that means is left as an exercise for the beholder,
since I'm not sure of it myself. In any case, I wanted such a t-shirt
as well, but things got delayed and the t-shirt printer closed for a
few days (due to family circumstances, the note said) so I was just too
late to get it in time.
Even though they [the printer] were amused, they didn't object to
printing it. And they did remember the one they made before... *smile*
Want one too? ;-) Only nlg 35 plus shipping! (that's approx gbp 11, or
usd 20) [No, this is not really a serious offer - sorry!]
-Olaf.
--
___ Olaf 'Rhialto' Seibert B4f+-t-w--g+k+(+)svmrp+ rhi...@cs.kun.nl
\X/ I survived Dave's party for 7 days and all I got was this lousy .sig!
Dave Ferguson
>k...@philabs.philips.com (Kimberley T. Smith) writes:
>
>>Hi folks, I need your support.
>
>>I decided to make waves today... at work! I'm a little nervous, but I'm
>>feeling good in general...
Today, I decided to wear my "Non-Breeder" t-shirt with the pink triangle on
the chest. (Please, no flames about the content of my shirt, it's beside
the point) Anyway, since I'm a "silly servant", I sorta have to wear a
shirt and tie to work, so nobody could see it. Of course, when I rode my
bike home, I took my tie off and just wore my t-shirt. Unfortunately, I
only passed a couple of people in the building on the way out, so the impact
was insubstantial, but I intend to do it again...and again, and again.
I'd like to have everyone in my office see me in it at least once, just to
say "yes, this is what I am...got a problem with it?", in a quiet,
inobtrusive manner. I'm hunting high and low for a tie with pink triangles
on it, but it may take me a while to find such a thing...
Just thought I'd share c(-8
Daemon -- boy toy with an attitude
--
+ D.C.X. Ferguson, "Daemon" Industry, Science & Technology Canada +
+ gri...@micor.ocunix.on.ca Policy Sector +
+ Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA +
+ No tax dollars were expended to bring you this message +
Sion Arrowsmith
>
>I'd like to have everyone in my office see me in it at least once, just to
>say "yes, this is what I am...got a problem with it?", in a quiet,
>inobtrusive manner. I'm hunting high and low for a tie with pink triangles
>on it, but it may take me a while to find such a thing...
>
to be made from rose-gold. Not my idea, I'm afraid -- an ex-boyfriend thought
it up (while we were still current). He's not got around to doing anything
about it yet -- but it wouldn't surprise me too much if he does sometime in
the future....
--
\S
SA...@phx.cam.ac.uk | |"Stormy weather turns to blue;
sarr...@nyx.cs.du.edu | |"Here's a song to take with you:
and elsewhere, for a while....| | --Mike Oldfield, "Taurus II"
Sion Arrowsmith
>say "yes, this is what I am...got a problem with it?", in a quiet,
>inobtrusive manner. I'm hunting high and low for a tie with pink triangles
>on it, but it may take me a while to find such a thing...
>