A Muffin with A Question (Long)
Holly Bostick
During the process of whittling this ng down to a manageable level, I
noticed that the membership seems to have a uniformly queer perspective,
whether they're with a motos or motss.
I'm not complaining (I count myself queer too), but here's my question:
what about the inconvenient aspects of what (for want of a better term)
I'll call our "heterosexual side" (I know there's no damn "sides", but
if someone has a better term, please say so). I've gotta admit, though,
I *feel* like there's sides. I feel that being part of the queer (read:
g/l) community and being respectful towards my family demands that I
behave as if all things heterosexual offend me simply by dint of being
heterosexual. This is, not surprisingly, not true.
So, if I want to be with a motos, am I supposed to do it in straight
space, where I feel extremely uncomfortable? As soon as I enter queer
space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing parts
of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!) Maybe it's
just deferred coming out trauma, but I feel like I belong nowhere. I
swing back and forth between thinking I should just "sell out" and get
(legally) married or something (and subsequently recoiling in nausea; I
am just not cut out to be traditional), and thinking I should just
"sell out" and relabel myself a lesbian (and subsequently shuddering
with dread; I am just not interested in embracing a politics that
violates large portions of my ethics). I'm going a little nuts, frankly.
I'd think that some (many, all) of you have wrestled with this. Help...!
Thanks,
Holly
--
All that you have ever been and will ever be can be seen in every
movement you make, in everything you do and don't do, right now.
This is what it feels like to be naked before God and God's creation.
--Paul Williams
What, then, is left to fear?
Jeff Lavin
In article <322BD9...@earthlink.net>
Holly Bostick <mo...@earthlink.net> writes:
Hi Holly!
I think I am on just the other side of this line from where you are. That
is to say, take your post, switch all of the het for queer and visa versa,
and that is more or less where I'm at.
My own solution to this problem, and it is one that I'm *not* all that
happy about, is to have fewer friends. I live close to Eugene, OR, which
has a very healthy queer (g/l) community, but not much of a bi community.
As is true of many other places, bi's are rejected by both the straight
and the gay communities. We (my partner and I) have been trying to start
a bi organization here, but without much interest so far.
In this light, I'd also like to ask the Net Wisdom (tm) here for its
collective thoughts.
Thanks,
Jeff-
Leigh
>So, if I want to be with a motos, am I supposed to do it in straight
>space, where I feel extremely uncomfortable? As soon as I enter queer
>space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing parts
>of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!)
>Holly
What works for me....
My lesbian girlfriend, my straight boyfriend, and myself tend to dance at gay
male bars as she and I are comfortable and he knows that in our company no gay
men will hit on him.
Just a suggestion.
Leigh
Mad Max
In article <50hik8$p...@nadine.teleport.com>,
>My own solution to this problem, and it is one that I'm *not* all that
>happy about, is to have fewer friends. I live close to Eugene, OR, which
>has a very healthy queer (g/l) community, but not much of a bi community.
>As is true of many other places, bi's are rejected by both the straight
>and the gay communities. We (my partner and I) have been trying to start
>a bi organization here, but without much interest so far.
>
I know of Eugene, Oregon. There're bi's there. But they don't exactly
advertise since, as you've put it, they're rejected by both het and gay
communities. The town is fairly gay-friendly, but not at all bi-friendly.
Mad Max
"Get thee to a nunnery! Oh, and while you're at it,
take me with you - I've always had a thing for nuns."
- Mad Max, shortly before being ejected from a
Catholics convention in San Diego.
Kevin Trumbull
In article <50iilb$n6k...@ix.netcom.com>, craz...@ix.netcom.com (Mad
Max) wrote:
~In article <50hik8$p...@nadine.teleport.com>,
~
~>My own solution to this problem, and it is one that I'm *not* all that
~>happy about, is to have fewer friends. I live close to Eugene, OR, which
~>has a very healthy queer (g/l) community, but not much of a bi community.
~>As is true of many other places, bi's are rejected by both the straight
~>and the gay communities. We (my partner and I) have been trying to start
~>a bi organization here, but without much interest so far.
~>
~
~I know of Eugene, Oregon. There're bi's there. But they don't exactly
~advertise since, as you've put it, they're rejected by both het and gay
~communities. The town is fairly gay-friendly, but not at all bi-friendly.
~
~Mad Max
~
~"Get thee to a nunnery! Oh, and while you're at it,
~take me with you - I've always had a thing for nuns."
~- Mad Max, shortly before being ejected from a
~Catholics convention in San Diego.
You know I've never met a nun....
*mailicious grin*
Uhh, oh, yeah, err where was I.
*pushes thoughts of getting to know a nun outta his head*
Was talking to an ex who still submitted that he still didn't believe
I exist, but that he still wanted to get into my pants. *sigh* Some
people... Anyways, yeah been there, seen that...
You're what? Oh, yeah I thought I was that way once too...
*shrug*
And I thought that you had learned something about who I was...
Same old shit, different month...
Michael Thomas
craz...@ix.netcom.com (Mad Max) writes:
> I know of Eugene, Oregon. There're bi's there. But they don't exactly
There's a 70's revival on in a big way. Just
wait and they'll get around to the _Love American
Style_ set anytime now.
--
Michael Thomas (mi...@mtcc.com http://www.mtcc.com/~mike/)
"Give me all of your money, you disgusting fruit!" --
Spats Ransom to Chaz after a fruitless search
for change between the sofa cushions.
jenner
someone purporting to be Holly Bostick <mo...@earthlink.net>
supposedly wrote:
: During the process of whittling this ng down to a manageable level, I
: noticed that the membership seems to have a uniformly queer perspective,
: whether they're with a motos or motss.
It could be called queer, or at least, non-het. Becuase,
you see, bisexuals are non-het by definition. There are
also gay and lesbian contributors here, and they are non-net
too.
: I'm not complaining (I count myself queer too), but here's my question:
: what about the inconvenient aspects of what (for want of a better term)
: I'll call our "heterosexual side" (I know there's no damn "sides", but
: if someone has a better term, please say so).
If you feel there is a heterosexual side then you feel there
is a heterosexual side. I don't feel such a side but
that's *me*.
: I've gotta admit, though,
: I *feel* like there's sides. I feel that being part of the queer (read:
: g/l) community and being respectful towards my family demands that I
: behave as if all things heterosexual offend me simply by dint of being
: heterosexual. This is, not surprisingly, not true.
Who says you have to follow some party line.
All glb people are democrat, tree hugging, gun controlling,
pro-abortion-on-demand even in the last day of pregnancy,
bleedin heart liberals who gladly vote fer bigger government
programs, socialism and Bill Clinton.
Right. :)
However, I wouldn't suggest you vote the republican ticket.
Not becuase some republicans would do a bad job but because
of the folk who would see any republican taking office as
some 'mandate' for their intolerance and bigotry.
: So, if I want to be with a motos, am I supposed to do it in straight
: space, where I feel extremely uncomfortable?
No, not necessarily, but you do need to be aware of what
kind of space you are in. I wouldn't suggest you enter a
gay leatherbar which is populated entirely by men and start
making out with your MOTOS partner. :)
: As soon as I enter queer
: space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing parts
: of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!)
Welcome to the club. It isn't always easy seeming between
between worlds but, who created those worlds and who is
accepting them?
: Maybe it's
: just deferred coming out trauma, but I feel like I belong nowhere.
Were but that you lived in Seattle. I'd gladly welcome you
into our cafe', where you can be who you are, irrellevant of
gender, orientation, or how vanilla or kinky you are.
: I
: swing back and forth between thinking I should just "sell out" and get
: (legally) married or something (and subsequently recoiling in nausea; I
: am just not cut out to be traditional), and thinking I should just
: "sell out" and relabel myself a lesbian (and subsequently shuddering
: with dread; I am just not interested in embracing a politics that
: violates large portions of my ethics). I'm going a little nuts, frankly.
Why sell out? Why not live as who you are? I mean, it
isn't always easy but, you want easy? Easy is living as
other people say you should. You want that?
: I'd think that some (many, all) of you have wrestled with this. Help...!
Hope I helped. If I didn't, ask and ye shall receive all I
can give.
Web page peek: http://shell.idt.net/~jenner29
Holly Bostick
Jeff Lavin wrote:
> My own solution to this problem, and it is one that I'm *not* all that
> happy about, is to have fewer friends. I live close to Eugene, OR, > which has a very healthy queer (g/l) community, but not much of a bi
> community. As is true of many other places, bi's are rejected by both
> the straight and the gay communities. We (my partner and I) have been
> trying to start a bi organization here, but without much interest so
> far.
Bah!you're right, that is a crummy solution, not that I blame you. In
the way of moral support, I say that your groundswell of support is
simply a little slow in building, that's all. Hang in there. Hold fast
to the vision of the community you want to create, and share it grain by
tiny grain (don't scare the mundanes) with those around you.
And don't forget to be a good doobie and pay your taxes and mow your
lawn and all--apparently both straights and gays feel that responsible
behavior around the common areas of citizenship is the primary
foundation of "tolerance", which is then supposed to lead us to skipping
through fields hand in hand singing "Kumbaya" or some such. Well, it
can't hurt to try it...
Holly Bostick
> >space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing
> >parts of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!)
>
> My lesbian girlfriend, my straight boyfriend, and myself tend to dance > at gay male bars as she and I are comfortable and he knows that in our > company no gay men will hit on him.
>
> Just a suggestion.
>
> Leigh
Where do you *get* these highly-evolved people? (I want to know; I could
use a couple--literally! :-)) Ye gods, a lesbian girlfriend, a straight
boyfriend, and no gruesome horrific bloodshed? **Dancing**, in fact? I
am deeply impressed. My effort in that direction precipitated much angst
and required careful management, to no avail. Write a book on how you do
it and I promise I will buy it.
As to your suggestion (thanx), my first thought was "I wonder where
you're from?", coz I feel--perhaps without justification--that here in
NYC we have such a large community that we have the "luxury" of being
more exclusionary than perhaps other places. I'm not sure I'd want to
try to get into a gay male bar here with another woman and an
unavailable man. Maybe I'm just ignorant, though, and everyone would be
perfectly nice. It's worth a try. Now all I need is a woman other than
my ex, and a man. A recipe for rabbit stew...
Holly Bostick
jenner wrote:
> Hope I helped. If I didn't, ask and ye shall receive all I
> can give.
Oooh, baby...! I'd ask just to be on the receiving end, but I guess I
should stick to the point :-).
> : I swing back and forth between thinking I should just "sell out" and > : get (legally) married or something (and subsequently recoiling in
> : nausea; I am just not cut out to be traditional), and thinking I > : should just "sell out" and relabel myself a lesbian (and subsequently > : shuddering with dread; I am just not interested in embracing a
> : politics that violates large portions of my ethics). I'm going a > : little nuts, frankly.
> Why sell out? Why not live as who you are? I mean, it
> isn't always easy but, you want easy? Easy is living as
> other people say you should. You want that?
Geez, you're hard on a poor little muffin! But you're fun, so all is
forgiven. Why not? I don't know. I'm mostly not too fond of that "me
against the world" stance. I think I suspect I'll be martyred. But, hey,
we've all got our material.
> : As soon as I enter queer space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am
> : barred from expressing parts of myself so as not to be offensive > : (which offends *me*!)
> Welcome to the club. It isn't always easy seeming between
> between worlds but, who created those worlds and who is
> accepting them?
OK, that's a good question, and I take your point that one of the
answers is *me*. But the other answer isn't and (back to the martyrdom)
there's a lot more of them than of me. I think I'm just freaking out
over the concept of being a (temporarily) solitary intrepid explorer. I
really want some company at my side (and my back, for that matter).
> : Maybe it's just deferred coming out trauma, but I feel like I belong > : nowhere.
>
> Were but that you lived in Seattle. I'd gladly welcome you
> into our cafe', where you can be who you are, irrellevant of
> gender, orientation, or how vanilla or kinky you are.
Isn't that funny? I'm in NYC and have been getting tired of it (I've
been here all my life). My first idea was to move to Hawaii, but then I
started hearing good things about Redmond, WA. Now Seattle. Washington
State is definitely moving up in the polls. So if you're short a good
deed for the day, feel free to drop me some mail with info or sources of
same so I can see if there's any basis for this little idea to grow on.
Thanks,
beth (s)linker
In article <323039...@earthlink.net> Holly Bostick wrote:
: Leigh wrote:
: >
: > In article <322BD9...@earthlink.net> Holly Bostick <mo...@earthlink.net> writes:
: >
: > >So, if I want to be with a motos, am I supposed to do it in straight
: > >space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing
: > >parts of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!)
: > What works for me....
: >
: > My lesbian girlfriend, my straight boyfriend, and myself tend to dance
: > at gay male bars as she and I are comfortable and he knows that in our
: > company no gay men will hit on him.
[snip]
: As to your suggestion (thanx), my first thought was "I wonder where
: you're from?", coz I feel--perhaps without justification--that here in
: NYC we have such a large community that we have the "luxury" of being
: more exclusionary than perhaps other places. I'm not sure I'd want to
: try to get into a gay male bar here with another woman and an
: unavailable man. Maybe I'm just ignorant, though, and everyone would be
: perfectly nice. It's worth a try. Now all I need is a woman other than
: my ex, and a man. A recipe for rabbit stew...
NYC?!? you're in new york city and you're complaining that there exists
something which you cannot find within a ten-mile radius??? *mind boggles*
you can go to a bisexual discussion group or social event on damn near any
night of the week. you can easily find nightclubs and bars (not necessarily
gay male bars, mind you) where nobody will think twice about who you're
with. check out the gay and lesbian community services center web page,
http://www.gaycenter.org/ for more information than you know what to do
with...
-beth
--
Beth Linker
bsli...@unix.amherst.edu
http://www.amherst.edu/~bslinker/
Leigh
>As to your suggestion (thanx), my first thought was "I wonder where
>you're from?", coz I feel--perhaps without justification--that here in
>NYC we have such a large community that we have the "luxury" of being
>more exclusionary than perhaps other places. I'm not sure I'd want to
>try to get into a gay male bar here with another woman and an
>unavailable man.
FYI, Columbus, OH. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that gay bars
were against the law here until1985 or so. Ten years in the "buckle of the
bible belt" hasn't changed much. Locallay there are about 3 gay dance bars, 1
leather/SM bar, 5-6 gay hangout bars, 1 lesbian dance bar, 2 lesbian hangout
bars, and one GLB restaraunt. I don't know how that compares to else where,
but it seems to be too few for the #'s in the gay community here.
Leigh
PS: My girlfriend (actually now ex) and I have recieved both glares and rude-
to-no service when in each others company at 2 of the gay dance bars. You just
have to avoid the Queens, 'cause they seem to be the worst about it.
Leigh
>Isn't that funny? I'm in NYC and have been getting tired of it (I've
>been here all my life). My first idea was to move to Hawaii, but then I
>started hearing good things about Redmond, WA. Now Seattle. Washington
>State is definitely moving up in the polls. So if you're short a good
>deed for the day, feel free to drop me some mail with info or sources of
>same so I can see if there's any basis for this little idea to grow on.
Stop by Columbus on your way through. We'll see if we can show you a good time
*wink*
Leigh
Eric Siegel
Ooh, a muffin with a question!
*sneaksneaksneak*
*lurklurklurk*
*pause*
*twitchtwitchtwitch*
*PPPOOOUUUNNNCCCEEE*
*rollrollroll*
*hughughug*
*kisskisskiss*
*licklicklick*
*nibblenibblenibble*
*bitebitebite*
Now, let's see if we can answer your question. :-)
On Tue, 3 Sep 1996, Holly Bostick wrote:
> During the process of whittling this ng down to a manageable level, I
> noticed that the membership seems to have a uniformly queer perspective,
> whether they're with a motos or motss.
Except that (a) there is no uniformly queer perspective, especially if you
go to the archive and look up some pf our arguments about "queer" as a
word and/or an attitude; and (b) I do think that a number of people who
inhabit this group really don't think of themselves as "queer". Which
doesn't make them any less bi, or bi-interested, but that they approach it
differently.
> I'm not complaining (I count myself queer too), but here's my question:
> what about the inconvenient aspects of what (for want of a better term)
> I'll call our "heterosexual side" (I know there's no damn "sides", but
> if someone has a better term, please say so). I've gotta admit, though,
> I *feel* like there's sides. I feel that being part of the queer (read:
> g/l) community and being respectful towards my family demands that I
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
There's something here I don't understand. How does this relate?
> behave as if all things heterosexual offend me simply by dint of being
> heterosexual. This is, not surprisingly, not true.
>
> So, if I want to be with a motos, am I supposed to do it in straight
> space, where I feel extremely uncomfortable? As soon as I enter queer
> space, where I *do* feel comfortable, I am barred from expressing parts
> of myself so as not to be offensive (which offends *me*!) Maybe it's
> just deferred coming out trauma, but I feel like I belong nowhere. I
> swing back and forth between thinking I should just "sell out" and get
> (legally) married or something (and subsequently recoiling in nausea; I
> am just not cut out to be traditional), and thinking I should just
> "sell out" and relabel myself a lesbian (and subsequently shuddering
> with dread; I am just not interested in embracing a politics that
> violates large portions of my ethics). I'm going a little nuts, frankly.
>
> I'd think that some (many, all) of you have wrestled with this. Help...!
I think you have to tread very carefully. Part of the issue is that it's
extremely easy, when with MOTOS, to fall back unconsciously on default
habits and assumptions ("het priviledge"). And it being so easy, it's
generally a good thing (I think) to take extra pains to try to question
those assumptions. Which is a lot of work. Then, having done and
continuing to do all that work, when you go into "queer sppace", it's
natural to want some kind of reward, recognition, or something because
you've done that work. But being with MOTOS in queer space doesn't seem
at first glance like that kind of work has been done, to those around you.
And so you have to do even more work to try to explain that you've been
doing all this work. It's really a two-edged sword.
Which is why I am somewhat uncomfortable being in queer space with my wife
-- certainly doing any kind of PDA there. It seems like (a) it's some
kind of imposition by me, without (b) having to do all kinds of explaining
and rationalizing, when, often, I'm just there to sightsee or have a good
time. I guess what it comes down to is just that it takes a while to get
used to it and find out where you're comfortable.
Eric Siegel | The views expressed herein do not represent
ejsi...@ucdavis.edu | the University of California or the
Dept. of Political Science | California Senate, my current employers
Univ. of California, Davis |
Davis CA 95616 | ... but I wish they did.
(916) 752-7106 |
jenner
Holly Bostick <mo...@earthlink.net> wrote:
: > My lesbian girlfriend, my straight boyfriend, and myself tend to dance
:> at gay male bars as she and I are comfortable and he knows that in our
: > company no gay men will hit on him.
: Where do you *get* these highly-evolved people? (I want to know; I could
: use a couple--literally! :-)) Ye gods, a lesbian girlfriend, a straight
: boyfriend, and no gruesome horrific bloodshed? **Dancing**, in fact? I
: am deeply impressed. My effort in that direction precipitated much angst
: and required careful management, to no avail. Write a book on how you do
: it and I promise I will buy it.
We have a couple of triads like that around Seattle parts,
and other similar flavors. They aren't as uncommon as one
may think.
Holly Bostick
Eric Siegel wrote:
>
> Ooh, a muffin with a question!
>
> *sneaksneaksneak*
> *lurklurklurk*
> *pause*
> *twitchtwitchtwitch*
> *PPPOOOUUUNNNCCCEEE*
> *rollrollroll*
> *hughughug*
> *kisskisskiss*
> *licklicklick*
> *nibblenibblenibble*
> *bitebitebite*
Thank you (she said very politely, with a relieved sigh). I was
beginning to be concerned about my weird, alien half-muffin state
(people responding, implying my full membership and yet without the
traditional welcome). Besides, I needed a good de-muffining. And
that...was good.
To continue...
> On Tue, 3 Sep 1996, Holly Bostick wrote:
>
> > During the process of whittling this ng down to a manageable level, I
> > noticed that the membership seems to have a uniformly queer perspective,
> > whether they're with a motos or motss.
>
> Except that (a) there is no uniformly queer perspective, especially if you
> go to the archive and look up some pf our arguments about "queer" as a
> word and/or an attitude; and (b) I do think that a number of people who
> inhabit this group really don't think of themselves as "queer". Which
> doesn't make them any less bi, or bi-interested, but that they approach it
> differently.
Nit-picking. I'm a re-entry, not a first timer...I didn't mean that the
views represented some type of "queer monolith" (ick), just that people
seemed interested in and comfortable with the issues traditionally
associated with the lesbian/gay community (from a bi perspective, or
various bi perspectives, of course). b) Surely I am not the only one who
has met bi people more analogous to the "swingers" of the 70's--people
who carry internalized heterosexual cultural assumptions, treat their
bisexual behavior as an expression of their eccentricity, and are not
particularly empathetic to the issues of the g/l community. I was
remarking that those people seem remarkably absent from the group.
> > I feel that being part of the queer (read: g/l) community and being ^^^^^
> > respectful towards my family demands that I
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> There's something here I don't understand. How does this relate?
The point of saying that I consider myself queer was to lay the
foundation that the g/l/b community constitutes my
village/community/family of choice. My cultural heritage (Black)
instilled in me a value that you respect (that is, don't sass) your
elders--in this case, the pre-existing structures which were created to
support the people on the scene long before I was, and which my own
statement proves I have some agreement with and find some value in. This
adds up to a conviction that to walk into a l/g bar with a bi man and
directly challenge the exclusionary or hypocritical attitudes towards bi
people--who are acceptable at, say, ActUp or wherever--through PDAs or
other behavior that I am not doing to make people uncomfortable but that
I know *does* make people uncomfortable...is *rude*. To knowingly be
rude to those who have supported me (successfully to some extent, or I
wouldn't voluntarily call them my family) as best they could within
their annoying and self-imposed limits (which I will discuss with them
privately in a reasonable manner) violates a portion of my ethics I
would prefer to keep intact.
My point is that I am trying to uphold my responsibilities to my family
as they have defined them ("Heterosexuals Stay Out!") but am annoyed
that that in turn seems to entitle me to nothing ("..but I am not a
heterosexual, even if some of my behavior resembles theirs. Can't you
ease up?") Which sounds in essence remarkably similiar to what you
said..
> I think you have to tread very carefully. Part of the issue is that it's
> extremely easy, when with MOTOS, to fall back unconsciously on default
> habits and assumptions ("het priviledge"). And it being so easy, it's
> generally a good thing (I think) to take extra pains to try to question
> those assumptions. Which is a lot of work. Then, having done and
> continuing to do all that work, when you go into "queer sppace", it's
> natural to want some kind of reward, recognition, or something because
> you've done that work. But being with MOTOS in queer space doesn't seem
> at first glance like that kind of work has been done, to those around you.
> And so you have to do even more work to try to explain that you've been
> doing all this work. It's really a two-edged sword.
What my issue is, is that 1) it burns me that I'm the only one walking
on the damn sword, when the other community involved doesn't have to,
even though the sword was made by *both* of us; 2)it burns me that I'm
walking on a shendi-fleckin' *sword* right in front of these people (my
community, my family) and they're kinda like, "so what, can you do a
backflip?" ; 3) my back hurts (from the flips), my feet hurt (from the
sword) and I'm just wondering if any of the other people doing backflips
on *their* swords have come up with padding, Icy Hot, **shoes**...relief
of some sort. Since I *do* know that to try to convince someone *else*
to put a board ovet the cultural gap the sword hangs over ("aww, come
on... we're so normal. Please let us get married and prove how much
we're like you! God loves us too! Really!"), or to let us stand over on
the hard-won peninsula and act natural at the same time ("No! We must
maintain this space free of all heterosexual behaviors, because
heterosexual behaviors disgust and contaminate us, and if we were
contaminated, why then...then...then something *horrible* would happen!
Right, that's it. Whew, just in the nick of time.")
Aw, the hell with it. What a waste of time, fighting for a space in
*that* mudpile. Let's us nutella-wielding cuties just take over, what
say? Barring that, can we at least get a bigger island?
Bikerbabe in Black Leather
In article <322BD9...@earthlink.net>,
Holly Bostick <mo...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>During the process of whittling this ng down to a manageable level, I
>noticed that the membership seems to have a uniformly queer perspective,
>whether they're with a motos or motss.
>
>what about the inconvenient aspects of what (for want of a better term)
>I'll call our "heterosexual side" (I know there's no damn "sides", but
>if someone has a better term, please say so). I've gotta admit, though,
>g/l) community and being respectful towards my family demands that I
>behave as if all things heterosexual offend me simply by dint of being
>heterosexual. This is, not surprisingly, not true.
I'd like to think that my family, or my side, consists of people who
are accepting of others. I often feel as if I cross many boundaries
because of the many and varied things I do. In that respect, there is
little room in my life for people who disapprove of me for this that
or the other. So while I may fit in with the gay community and I may
fit in with the straight community, or the BDSM crowd, or the rednecks
for peace types or what-have-you, I have created my own "space".
My space consists of people from all of these different walks of life,
and possibly the only common denominator is that they accept me for
who I am and not who they think I should be. In this, I think that it
is primarily the fact that I make the people around me feel
comfortable being who they are that helps others accept me for what I
am.
Anmar, part of his own community.
--
Anmar Mirza # Chief of Tranquility #How many of our #Have
EMT-D # Base, Lawrence Co.,IN #Bretheren die for#sawmill
N9ISY (tech) # Somewhere out on the #every glass of V8#will
EOL DoD#1147 # Mirza Ranch.C'mon over#Juice?. #travel.
Holly Bostick
Washington State-up again in the polls! Anybody know the Web address for
Seattle's Chamber of Commerce?
Holly :-)
Holly Bostick
beth (s)linker wrote:
> NYC?!? you're in new york city and you're complaining that there exists
> something which you cannot find within a ten-mile radius??? *mind boggles*
> you can go to a bisexual discussion group or social event on damn near any
> night of the week. you can easily find nightclubs and bars (not necessarily
> gay male bars, mind you) where nobody will think twice about who you're
> with. check out the gay and lesbian community services center web page,
> http://www.gaycenter.org/ for more information than you know what to do
> with...
>
> -beth
>
> --
> Beth Linker
> bsli...@unix.amherst.edu
> http://www.amherst.edu/~bslinker/
All right, you caught me. I admit it, I'm a big chicken. I think I
burned out just after the big push to get Heritage of Pride to add 'Bi'
to the name of the Pride Parade. That was around the time when there was
a lot of public (gay press articles) discussion about bisexual activism
inside the g/l/b community. There were panels. There were meetings.
There was unpleasantness. Our section was put between the New Alliance
Party and NAMBLA (aka, the Section of People We Hate but Have To Let
In).
Frankly, I'm frightened enough of going amongst strangers all on my
lonesome, without making some effort to moderate, mitigate, or eliminate
their possible hostility.
Thank you for the link; I'm still getting used to the idea that
*everybody* is here...
Holly, living up to her .sig by coming clean immediately upon being
called out...