Kenya Update II.4: 10 Days and Counting Down

[Denise Poon]

Dear friends and family,

Greetings once again from Kenya. This might be my shortest email
(don't get too excited), and maybe one of the less chipper ones. The
past week has been a busy time with our team, doing ministry every
day, and mostly I'm been a bit weary. We've done prayer walks in Hindu
temples and Muslim mosques, prayer ministry and worship back in
Mathare Valley, and will be going to the Kamiti prisons tomorrow. We
leave for our debriefing site on Saturday, return to Nairobi next
Thursday, and fly out of Kenya next Friday.

I am in the midst of processing all of the past few days and the team
ministry we've been doing--we've been doing something different every
day that it's been a little hard to keep track of myself and all my
thoughts and feelings, especially when there are students who need
help with their own processing or suddenly need to be taken to the
hospital (which is what happened yesterday evening). There are,
however, two main things I have been struggling with (and that I could
use prayer for):

1. Saying my last goodbye at the orphanage: the whole team spent last
Friday at Huruma at the orphanage, so the Huruma team (myself and the
three others) got to show our team what we had been doing for the past
three weeks. It was a blessing to me to have all those extra pairs of
hands to hold and feed the children and give them the individual
attention that they all so truly need and are worth. It was difficult
saying my last goodbyes to the mamas, sisters, and kids I had grown to
love, particularly with the latter. Something I've wrestled with
during my time at Huruma is that for most of the children, there is
often no way to effectively communicate with them and to know that
they recognize you. This hit me the hardest when my goodbye was my
final one, because one thing I value is knowing the effectiveness of
something I'm doing. It made me wonder if anything I had done for the
past three weeks mattered--the children most likely would never be
able to recognize or remember me.

I was saying goodbye to a little girl named Viona, one of the few in
the special ward who can communicate and talk to you. She loves
repeating what you saying back to you, so I began to say, "I love
Jesus" to her. Instead of saying those words back to me, though, she
looked up at me, smiled, and said, "I love you."

When she said it, I didn't know if she meant it--understood what she
was saying and who she was saying it to. I began to feel a bit upset,
though not because I didn't think it was a genuine sentiment from her.
I was upset because I wanted her to say she loved Jesus--that was what
mattered more, what was more pressing. And in that moment, God showed
me what really mattered in all that I have done is that in some way,
the mamas, sisters, and children at Huruma got to see Him reflected in
me. And even greater was when He said to me, very simply, "I see you
and I see all that you have done and will continue to do," because it
freed me from the idol of effectiveness and affirmation.

2. Trouble students on the team: I haven't said much about the team,
but to be honest, there are a handful of students on the team who I
have a very difficult time loving and have really riled up the spirit
of judgment and criticism I have within me (not that any of you are
familiar with that spirit, I'm sure...). Beyond annoying me, I think
those students have made it difficult for the team to have more of a
unified, cohesive dynamic too.

So please pray against my own critical nature--it's just part of my
own brokenness and sin that is being dragged to the surface,
ultimately. I've been struggling with the idea that I have an easier
time changing babies diapers and putting crippled children on the
toilet more than I do having patience with people I've deemed
"aggravating," "attention-seeking," or "un-self-aware."And please pray
that I lean into these people, instead of leaning away, or--even
worse--just dismissing them entirely.

That's all I'll say for now. My malaria medicine and vitamins, which I
packed for a daily supply here, have dwindled in number to a mere
handful, and I am running out of shampoo (I might not look entirely
clean when I arrive back in the States). All signs are pointing to the
fact that I'm leaving this place soon, which makes me anxious in
different ways and somewhat low in spirits. Please pray for:

1. Continued energy and good health.
2. Peace about leaving Kenya and the impending future.
3. Strength to continue to love and reach out to the students.
4. Safety as the team travels around, and to debriefing.

Shalom,
Denise

P.S. I don't think this ended up being very short. Pole sana! (Google
translate that if you need).
--
Denise Poon
University of California, Berkeley
B.A. English and Media Studies, May 2012
626-320-2182
denis...@berkeley.edu