Kenya Update II.1: HELP!!!!! I'M DYINGGGGG!!!
Denise Poon
Hello! Did that email subject title get your attention or what? Hope you didn't have a heart attack, Dad...I know you're getting along in your years.
Anyway, habari yako (how are you), my friends. I am sitting in a cyber cafe in Nairobi, and I have gchat, wonders of wonders!, so I got to talk to Lamy for a wee bit. I don't have much time, but I wanted to give you a quick update to tell you:
1. I am indeed alive.
2. I am dying--to myself, that is.
Let me explicate myself a bit more for the latter point. I think one thing I am seeing more of in myself is this continued journey of dying to myself and being raised up--in fuller, more glorious life--in the Spirit. It has been a long journey to come back here to Kenya--one that started the day I left last summer to fly back to America. When we landed a few days ago, I was a bit loopy from all the time zone changes, but there was this sense of belonging. We are staying at the Watakatifu Wote Center once again (a hostel run by nuns--my favorite), and pulling into the driveway, there was a sense of homecoming. Since then, we've been having orientation which includes learning about Kenyan culture, etc., and giving the students (listen to me say that! I'm a graduate and and staff worker! ha!) some exposure to some of the ministry we'll be doing (we visited the Mathare Valley Slums yesterday, more on that in a bit).
It's been hard being back, though. Kenya is the place where God broke me and showed me the ugliest parts of myself, and simultaneously the place where He remade me and refined me to reflect His beauty more profoundly. I broke down into tears the other night, and kept asking Him why He would bring me back to a place where I experienced so much pain. The answer--the same one He has been saying for quite some time now--is that He is not done with me and the refining work He is doing in my spirit. Which may sound sort of obvious...but uplifting all the same. He is continuing to be my ezer kenegdo, my help (hence the subject title) and my strength. And I truly do feel stronger. Last year during Orientation Week I was sort in a lost daze, but I feel clear-minded this time. I feel right being here. It feels right to be ministering to students, praying over them, and arranging the ministry partnerships (I love pointing out people's strengths and weaknesses and I'm encouraged to do so as staff !!). It feels right to be sleeping with my mosquito net canopy. I am home. (Well, except for the toilets...don't know if I'll ever get used to those).
We went to Mathare Valley yesterday, and...it wasn't much easier than walking through it last year. I remembered the parts of the way we were taking from last year--remembered the awful smells, the garbage and grey mud underneath my feet, the ramshackle tin houses. The memories were still so visceral, and it was like being taken back, walking along a dream, a parallel reality to what the journey in that present moment. I think I was able to keep myself together this time around (last year I was tight-lipped and silent in order to keep from falling into an endless pit of tears (how's that for a metaphor?)), but later on, talking about it with the girls in my small group, I began to cry. And it was okay, really--because that is God's heart and mine becoming one. He weeps over injustice and poverty, He is revolted by the sexual abuse and prostitution in Mathare. There is a church called the Mathare Worship Center at the slums, led by Pastor Karau and his son--and they are truly living as salt. The work they do to educate and feed the children of Mathare, and to minister to the people there reminded me that God also has a call for me to live righteously and justly in whatever context He places me in--whether in Kenya, America, or anywhere else He takes me.
In short, if you have not read anything else (one thing I learned from last year is that most people don't appreciate my long-winded updates/take the time to read them): God is being so gracious to me. In all the ways I was weak last year, and was dreading coming back this year because of all the bad memories--He is redeeming that. He is molding me.
Please pray for:
- continued strength
- discernment as I disciple the students, and as the directors and staff team figure out the three-week ministry assignments
- good health. I forgot about the higher elevation and I've been getting winded walking up stairs. (Okay...that might just be lack of physical fitness on my part).
I miss you all and you are in my prayers, all the way from here.
Shalom,
Denise
P.S. Feel free to respond and tell me how you are doing and how I can pray for you! (Courtney...I may not be able to read through that long email you sent me in one go).
--
Denise Poon
University of California, Berkeley
B.A. English and Media Studies, May 2012
626-320-2182
denis...@berkeley.edu
Mathijs Arens
University of California, Berkeley
Anthropology
From: Denise Poon <denise...@gmail.com>
To:
Sent: Thursday, June 7, 2012 4:54 AM
Subject: [SJSG 2011-2012] Kenya Update II.1: HELP!!!!! I'M DYINGGGGG!!!