Hi Michael! Hi Robbie! and Hi to everybody if I miss someone!

[Juliette]

Sorry I couldn't come before, but as just signed my name yesterday and
wanted to write something, my son got home and he was mugged so I had
to give him support. Luckily he got home alright, he only lost his
skateboard, so he is OK, just afraid but with time and some love it
will go away. It will be a lesson for him because I don't like him
going downtown at night, yet he wanted so badly to go to this event
called catch the flag that I didn't want to break his heart.
That said, I'm going to introduce myself :). My name is Juliette,
that's my real name, I'm 50 years old (my birthday just came and
went :)) I was born Spanish but my first language was French as I
lived for several years in France, but I forgot completely that
language, sometimes I do understand something but not too much, I also
speak and read Portuguese as I had the opportunity to go to Brasil in
several occasions and I'm a holistic therapist. I enjoy very much
alternative therapies, that's my passion and I had found a way to help
myself and my boys. I love Enigma, that's a new age music and calms me
down when things around me aren't how they should be.
I love reading, especially about new age themes or detective ones :),
listening to music, the sound of silence, as Michael, being outside at
wee hours of the night because I also have insomnia, and because of
that I saw a fire this summer and I was able to help :), so my
insomnia paid up I could say :). I do enjoy nighttime more than day
time, and I don't like mornings that much because the sun hurt my eyes
and for some reason my stomach is very uneasy at that time of the day.
I prefer to live in the dark for some reason unknown to me but I could
say that I'm allergic to light or maybe a vampire :), who knows! But
I'm thankful for my sight because I enjoy observing the world around
me.
I love learning, I think that everyday we learn something new is a day
well lived as knowledge is the key that opens many doors of
opportunities. I use my internet to get books, music, more therapies
to learn, etc, so I usually spend lots of time in my computer.
Unluckily for me, mine got broken so I have to use one of my kids
computers but one day I will find a soul that will give me the gift to
repair it :).
I love nature, camping when I can because that's what gives me peace
or just the park. I would love to have a car to go often but I manage
to go sometimes in the summer to a National Park called Sybald Point.
That's what gives me strength to go on, especially in winter time
because I become very depress for lack of sun and because I can't
leave my house at all. I could kill myself in the snow :) or because
of the cold that affect my feet very much.
As I said before, I don't know if you had read me in the other list, I
take care of teenagers, some of them homeless, some of them have
families but parents working all day, so for example Thanksgiving is a
party for around 30, and that's a lot of cooking :), but I always have
help from them.
I really, really enjoy cooking and I do it from scratch because I
believe that is healthier plus is cheaper. I do tomato sauce in the
summer to have in winter and strawberry jam when I can. Unfortunately
this summer I couldn't do it because strawberries came too early and
in the gleaning time I was sick so I couldn't go and I didn't have
enough money to buy and do them. But well, maybe next year :).
My life is not easy because I have to deal with my disabilities as all
of you are, I have a physical one many operations in my feet that has
taken away my balance, I can't stand up for long, I can walk for long
either and no shoes can fit me, so I have a hard time in that sense. I
do have depression and anxiety but I try to balance them, I'm an ADD
person and constantly out of focus, but trying to always have a
structure to follow so I don't mess up too much :) especially with my
bills :) and other things that I don't feel comfortable to disclose,
sorry. I've got into ODSP in only three months and I'm really very
thankful for it even if I owe my gas and I don't have heat, don't have
tv, etc, but what I have I really appreciate it. I'm a very strong
person and down to Earth, when I want something I fight to get it, but
I try to focus in what is really important, and for me is love. I
think that material things come and go, one day we are up and the
other down, but in the end what we take with us when we exhale the
last breath is love. The one we gave and the one we received. I do
believe that we are what we make ourselves to be and that positive
attracts the same in our lives. That repeating constantly about the
things we lack, only brings us more lack, but when we thank the
Universe for the gifts that we receive, more gifts come our way. So I
felt a strong urge to support Robbie in the other list even if I
didn't like to give my input too often.
I have very bad days in which I don't think I can go on, but that
strength and angels that whisper in my ears help me get up and go
again. I call myself Phoenix because I had raised from the death many
times, figuratively of course :). My suicide attempts got me nowhere
thank God.
As all of you, that other list made me feel depressed and anxious
every time I went to read the posts, so sometimes I will leave for
weeks and then find 300 letters or so! I see lack of respect, I see
too many fights for unimportant things, too much anger and narrow
minded people and I also see a very reduced group of people that talk
in between themselves ignoring the others, no matter which topic you
bring.
I think that being disabled doesn't mean that we have to be angry all
the time, nor disrespectful to others or ignoring them. Not in Spanish
or English I use bad words, maybe because of the way I was raised or
maybe because I love words and we have many beautiful ones to be using
bad ones. Yet, I don't care how others speak or write. I know that
even if my English is not bad, is not perfect either so I wouldn't
enjoy if somebody corrects my spelling instead of reading the deepness
of my thoughts. That's why when I saw Michael's forum I came running
to this one :). Thank you Michael! I really like to share sometimes
and I'm alone, plus I would like to have friends. I think that I have
been a good girl and I deserve that :).
I don't judge anybody for any reason. I think that we came to this
world with freedom to be whomever we want or need to be and that
everybody has a reason to do what they do, even the criminals. I
believe that we came to this Earth to learn as if going to school, so
all what we live are just lessons we are learning. The objective is to
learn them to go farther in life.
I don't believe in religions, yet I respect people that believe in
them. Still, I have my church that is called Spiritualism in which I
find peace whenever I can go because it's too far and I don't have a
car right now.
When I have the opportunity and time, I tend to write too much so I
hope I won't bore any of you :), but if I keep silent is not because I
don't want to come, is because I can't. Too many kids, many
problems :) and I'm the only adult around. I have a Facebook page and
when I need to unwind or think I just play games in there without
talking, plus sometimes I need to be in silence God knows why! I find
that better than go to others and put burdens over their shoulders.
That allows my mind to be focused. All of you are welcome to be my
friends there if you want to.
I have four kids of my own, one adopted and around 40ish that I
raised, gave advice or helped them follow their path. There are four
generations as I called them and they go from 25 to 15. Each of my own
kids always had a very big heart and when they have seen somebody
homeless or in trouble, they just brought them home and mama was left
to deal with them :). But all in all, I'm satisfied with the results
because all my kids are amazing.
I was married twice, but didn't work out and I just decided to turn
the page because I prefer myself single than with pain in my heart,
plus I have to be happy for my kids because they deserve to be happy
themselves and that will only come from me being their mother. I'm the
only one that understands my disabilities and I had found that there
is not much compassion in the world, so I could say that I'm a very
difficult person to deal with, I realized that long time ago, accepted
it, and only a very special man could, therefore I just decided to
dedicate my life to my kids and be proud of all of them. The more, the
merrier :).
I read in one of your posts Michael that you like philosophy. There
was a letter that got my attention last week. Is somebody that
committed suicide or so they say and he left a book of 1400 pages. I
have it and I started reading it but stopped because I had to go into
other places with my head :), but maybe you will be interested in it?
I would love to hear somebody's opinion because I want to know if this
book is a legacy or they were just words. I don't know if you have a
way to translate it in braille? I have an e-book and really I don't
know the technological advances for blind people to have access to
books that aren't translated.
About the movie you talked about, I saw the other week one that is
called Sophie's World and more or less it was about the same topic as
yours. They just have to find the way to continue living :). I
couldn't find it in English, it was only in Spanish even though is an
old movie but is Norwegian I think. I'm pretty sure that you will
enjoy it, and I will find yours :), thank you for the tip.
I see lots of Spanish movies because those are the ones more easy to
find. And when I can and the movie is good, I go to theaters. In
November Harry Potter is coming again and I will try to go...yes, I'm
still a child at heart :). But in reality those movies have taught me
a lot because they make perfect sense with the children of tomorrow.
I have seen so many movies that as of right now none come to my mind.
I could say that I loved The Notebook, the love that that man had for
that woman was out of this world, non existent! I loved Ghost for the
same reason. I love one that is called The Secret in Their Eyes that
is from my country and won an Oscar but has been translated. It's
awesome if you can find it. It's about a murder and a person that
works in a judge's office. I love the Celestine Prophecy that is in
Youtube because it validated many of my thoughts and ways of doing
things. And if I remember another I will tell you :).

I live in Thornhill but I say Markham because people will think I'm
cheating ODSP when that's not so, in this area you can find many
houses that are affordable, it's just that you have to search for
them. I would love to find something cheaper but I live in a complex
and I have known people for ages that can help me at anytime. Plus
it's a safe area for my kids and that's very, very important for me. I
can't live in fear.

Well, I think that I had written enough for today :). Maybe later I
will have the time to write some more if somebody gives me an input,
but right now I think that I have to give the pencil to another
person :).
See you all soon! may you have peace, love and light today and always!