Re: Advice please!

[Rod Butler]

Hi TMWilko

 

You did not leave your actual name on your email, So I am sorry I do not know who to address.

 

First of all is your son doing kick boxing or karate? If karate, is it traditional e.g. Shotokan?

 

What was the examiner/instructor doing while all this was going on? It should have been stopped immediately. Young peoples' welfare is of paramount importance and there are strict guidelines for this kind of thing.

 

Please give me some further information and I will then be able to fully advise you.

 

What is the style of Martial art? Where is the club? What is the name of the instructor?

 

The events that you outlined should not have taken place and as a result your son has lost his enthusiasm for something that he was obviously very good at.

 

Please let me have a bit more info

 

Yours truly

 

Rod Butler

www.shotokan-karate-england.co.uk

 

..............................................................

----- Original Message -----

From: tmw...@hotmail.com

To: Shotokan Karate

Sent: Monday, January 30, 2006 5:11 AM

Subject: Advice please!

Hi, my son Nathan is 11 yrs old and became a purple belt just before
xmas. He also brought home the 'Student of the Year' trophy for the
second time and various other plaques etc.
He is doing really well and was very proud of himself when he received
his purple belt. However, he now wants to quit!
The reason being that during this last grading he had to partner a boy
3 yrs older, at least a foot taller and a white belt. No problem there,
my son trains mostly with adults anyway but this boy totally
misunderstood their sensei when he was told to use strong punches and
go in hard - he did literally! My son took 4 bad punches between the
eyes and the boy stopped only when he had Nathan up against the wall.
Still he stayed on his feet and carried on for at least another 20
minutes. He cried only when he came home to me. He had to take 2 days
off school as he could barely open his eyes or lift his head. He is a
very quiet, sensitive boy which is one of the main reasons I took him
to karate in the first place (for my own peace of mind if nothing
else).
I couldn't be at this last grading but my husband always tapes them so
they can use the video as a training aid, see Nathans mistakes etc.
I was SO angry. To see Nathan on tape being punched like that made me
sick to the stomach (I'm so glad I wasn't there!) but now I actually
believe it's a good thing that it happened - he was worried about
getting hurt before, well he's not going to get much worse than that.
It also showed his stamina and the strength he has inside. He should be
proud of himself but Nathan doesn't agree.
The incident has totally knocked his confidence. We have had tears and
countless chats about this and he has agreed that, for me, he will
continue training but he really isn't happy.
I am adamant that he will not quit. I don't like upsetting him but I
have to be cruel to be kind - hopefully he will thank me one day.
How can I turn things around again for him?
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Sorry for the long essay.



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[SHOTO]

tmw...@hotmail.com wrote:
> Hi Rod, sorry for my delay in replying, I have been away for a while.
>
> Nathan is taking the traditional shotokan karate.
>
> I received an email from Lester Wellington and I must say that I am the
> first to agree that we shouldnt force our children to anything that may
> be detrimental to them but I feel very strongly about this. Just a
> couple of days ago, here in Sheffield, very close to my home, a boy was
> grabbed from the street by 4 men in a car, taken to the woods and used
> for their pleasure. That boy is 17 years old.
>
> Not a very nice subject to be writing about in a post I know, but I say
> it to show exactly why I pushed Nathan to continue with the classes.
> It's a horrible world we live in and at any cost I will do my best to
> protect my sons.
>
> Having said that, Nathan has thankfully settled back into the classes
> ok.
>
> The club is a very small one, we live out in the sticks, and there is
> only one class a week for just one hour.
> It is definately not enough, Nathan needs much more motivation but as I
> do not drive it will have to do for now. He has his sats coming up soon
> and starts high school in september so I am not pushing him about the
> karate, he reassured me that he would continue with the training and
> now I can see that going to class doesn't upset or scare him anymore
> well that is enough for me.
> I'm sure his enthusiasm will return in time, if he is not pushed.
> I only wish I knew how I could help motivate him through the week - I
> offered to train with him and he burst out laughing - I have no idea
> why!
>
> Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to my original post Rod
>
> Yours Truly
>
> Tara

Glad your son has settled back OK Tara. As a precaution I would speak
to the instructor and mention that you dont expect this kind of thing
to be seen again in the club. Nathan has made it back ok but if it
happens again I am sure it will put him off for good.

To fill in for the 6 days without katrate, I suggest Nathan does
suplementary training such as swimming, which will help his overall
stamina. As well as that you could suggest a jog once or twice per
week, again improving his health and stamina.

Good luck to you both, you never know, you may really take up karate
yourself oneday.

Kind regards

Rod