In the begining
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Emma Kpop
Apr 7, 2014, 4:33:13 PM4/7/14
to sexualit...@googlegroups.com
My story I spoke of I decided to write a little at a time and see what kind of reaction I get. I'm a little nervous as I think I'm an OK writer but others say otherwise.. Right now I am a little nervous but I'm going to try my best and THANK YOU to Rich and Y Lee for the welcome.
A bit of backround now. I came up with this on my own it just seemed to flow into my brain and begin to bug me to be written all on it's own. Well I have to do SOMETHING with my time while my gf is in the hospital (though coming home today sometime we think) and I wait for my groceries to be delivered (I have a bad leg so no long shopping trips for me though that may change)
this story is about a girl 34 years old and her adventures with her neighbors who she's VERY close to. And her gf. Yeah I gave her a gf why should I have all the fun? :P
something about this girl she's got problems that make her childlike and wild she has adventures (as she calls them) that to us may seem like normal stuff but to her seeing how she's so childlike and full of wonder are extra special. Ok? Ok.
this is written in the third person. it is my character talking not me. this is just a story but it's her telling it.
In The Beginning
All is quiet. it's 1:20pm on a Monday in April. I wish I could go next door and visit but the rule Angel set up and we all agreed on was after two pm. Angel is my neighbor Kaysie's mom. The rule is so Kaysie and her husband and their young son can sleep in as long as they want and none of us will wake them. Well at least I won't nor will Anna my gf. We know better. Other neighbors don't respect the two pm rule as we call it and that makes me mad because while they get away with it if I or Anna decide to break it we REALLY catch it. It's just the way it is. I guess it's because along with being Kaysie's real mama Angel's our second mom too. We call her Mama and she responds when she hears us. Angel's a good second mama don't get me wrong. We love her. She loves us. She's good to us and in return we respect her and try to do as we're asked. Sometimes I worry one day something so terrible will happen and she'll stop loving us but Anna says that'll never happen. I hope she's right.
Anyway being our second mama Angel can be pretty firm with us. her scoldings are to be feared as they burn and sting your heart something terrible. Maybe it's because she's a mama already. Maybe it's because we love her and the thought of disappointing her makes us feel awful. like we really let her down or something.
Maybe that's just how it is with mamas. "Oh girls how could you?" she says in this voice that makes you quickly understand you REALLY messed up and let her down. Sometimes it's "Oh Cammy how could you?" when I really screw up. Which isn't often. I know better.
It isn't all scoldings and trouble though. Sometimes it's long talks while we walk side by side. Sometimes it's sitting at the picnic tables and chatting. Sometimes it's long hugs that seem to make whatever was wrong in the first place melt away. There are many many happy times. And then there's the lessons.....
Yes even at our age us two learn a lot from our second mama. Like how to respect ourselves and others. How it's important to do things like take your medicine (I have depression and bi polar. it sucks) and eat up even when you're so depressed you cry at the drop of a hat. How not to call yourself names like Stupid. That's a hard one for me to obey I get so mad at myself. I get the Look and a lecture and my hand swatted when she catches me doing it though so I've learned to watch it.
But the one thing you never ever ever ever EVER EVER want to do when she's taken you under her wing and become your second mama is cut yourself. I'm not talking about an accident I'm talking about self harm. Or attempting suicide. THAT'S when things get serious when she finds out. Not if. WHEN.
I'm serious. Don't believe me? Well I guess I could tell you about the time I got in trouble for it before she moved away. Yeah moved away. She still visits regularly but it's not exactly the same. Anyway here's what happened.
It had been a hard week for Anna and I. Dealing with the news that in thirty days Mama would be gone except for visits and it would just be us two Kaysie her husband scott the baby and Laura but she doesn't count we have no use for each other laura and I and Mama knows it.
Anyway it was a hard week and right in the middle of it I began showing signs that soon I'd have to go into the hospital again. It happens when you have mental illness even depression and bi polar. I hate it. Anyway I'm off topic I'm meant to be telling you what happened not whining about my mental illness.
When I realized what was going on I of course was furious with myself and my sickness but I knew there was nothing I could do about it once it decides to happen nothing can stop it. All I can do is hang on and try to fight to stay home as long as I can. I always try to fight as long as I can. Until the moment I can't stand it anymore and I finally pack my bags and go to the hospital. Mama says I need to go soon as I realize things are getting out of control but ....well.....
Anyway. Back to that week...
Anna and I had been fussing all that week maybe we both here "getting sick" as we call it when mental problems start to rear their ugly heads. Maybe we were just sad about Mama. I don't know. But whatever the reason that week was a week from Hell and then one night it all hit the fan.
No I didn't leave for the hospital had I done that it all would have been OK but if I had done that there wouldn't be a story now would there? I did something terrible.
I took a knife and I tried to kill myself.
Anna stopped me. got the knife away from me. calmed me down. She would have said more most likely but that's when we heard the sound of Lola on the steps. Lola is Angel's dog so we knew she was coming outside for awhile and Anna ran outside to see her. I stayed in. I was still trying to calm down. I didn't even know Anna had gone outside at first.
Then Anna came back inside. She looked at me a long moment as if she were thinking about what she had to say carefully.
"Mama wants you. She wants to talk. NOW."
I sighed. this didn't sound good at all. I shook my head and sat on the couch. "Nuh-uh. I'll see her when we go out to say goodnight tonight."
"Mama says NOW" was Anna's answer. but I ignored her.
Seeing how Anna didn't repeat the order I thought that was that so I turned the tv on and settled back to watch the simpsons which at the time came on at six and six thirty in the evenings during the week.
Soon there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" I said jumping up. it was a repeat anyway.
When I answered the door there was Mama. Her eyes were flashing and full of fire. She was quiet but I could tell she was furious with someone.
"Mama!" I said happily forgetting what I'd done and anna had said. But she didn't return my happy greeting.
"Come with me we need to talk." was all she said and I could tell this wasn't to be a happy talk.
I slipped outside into the evening. It was summer then so I was warm enough. I slipped my hand into hers and we went to the picnic tables.
"Anna told me what happened tonight." She began.
"Aw Mama" I said with a sigh. "I just lost control a second I'm alright!"
"Are you sure? Do you need to go to the hospital? I could take you if you went in and packed...."
I sighed loudly. "I'm fine Mama I'm fine. it just happens sometimes. I'm ok I can fight this this time"
I expected her to insist that I go but instead she just asked if I was OK again and when I said yes she held me close to her in a hug for a long time.
When she let me go the lecture began. Did I know how serious what I did was? What was I thinking? I knew better than that! She taught me better! the normal mama stuff.
"Get back inside. I don't want to hear a peep out of you the rest of the night. I'll come say goodnight later and you best be in your room resting!" was how she finished her lecture. I should have just obeyed her then and there but I was in a mood. So I began to pout. When that didn't work I whined.
"But Mama!!!! I didn't mean it I won't do it again! Please let's talk til you take the dog back inside!!!" I whined when she said no I began to beg saying Please over and over.
Suddenly she got this look on her face and stood up. I thought she was going to leave me out there to pout alone but instead she helped me to a standing position.
"What did I tell you?" She asked me softly.
"to go on inside for the night." I replied.
"then Go! No. GO! I'm your second mama I'm in charge I said go on now go on."
"NO!!!!!!!" I said I was in full defiant mode she'd never seen me like this. I could tell she was startled.
"Alright. You won't go? I'll take you then." and she took my hand and marched me back to my apartment. But then she did something new. Something she'd never done before.
While I stood there in shocked silence she swatted me on the butt half a dozen times and gave me a little nudge and in I went.
I was in shock Mama had never swatted before. Well Ok she swatted my hand when I said Stupid but that was something else.
"Pull something like that again you'll get more swats!" was her parting words and the door was shut again.
When she came back that night at ten I( was in the livingroom playing bowling with Anna but when I heard her knock I turned the tv back to cable and ran for my room.
Anna opened the door and let Mama in and he came to me by then I was sitting on my bed as if I'd always been there my heart thumping.
"We need to talk..." She said.
I nodded and told her all about it how I felt why I felt that way how much I'd miss her once things changed....and how much I loved her.
"I love you girls too." She said hugging me close.
"I know Mama but do you love ME even though I was so naughty tonight...?" I asked worriedly.
"Yeah I love you Cammy. I always will. no matter what." she replied and I felt better again.
"Mama?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I have a goodnight now?" A Good night was a special hug given when she'd come out to say goodnight to us girls.
"Sure"
and she gave me a long hug and held me close a moment then let go kissed the top of my head and went in to say good night to Anna and was gone.
Well that's what happens when you really cross Mama. I'd tell another one but it's two pm now and I hear Kaysie outside and something tells me now's the perfect time to go and spend time together with her.
the end for now
A bit of backround now. I came up with this on my own it just seemed to flow into my brain and begin to bug me to be written all on it's own. Well I have to do SOMETHING with my time while my gf is in the hospital (though coming home today sometime we think) and I wait for my groceries to be delivered (I have a bad leg so no long shopping trips for me though that may change)
this story is about a girl 34 years old and her adventures with her neighbors who she's VERY close to. And her gf. Yeah I gave her a gf why should I have all the fun? :P
something about this girl she's got problems that make her childlike and wild she has adventures (as she calls them) that to us may seem like normal stuff but to her seeing how she's so childlike and full of wonder are extra special. Ok? Ok.
this is written in the third person. it is my character talking not me. this is just a story but it's her telling it.
In The Beginning
All is quiet. it's 1:20pm on a Monday in April. I wish I could go next door and visit but the rule Angel set up and we all agreed on was after two pm. Angel is my neighbor Kaysie's mom. The rule is so Kaysie and her husband and their young son can sleep in as long as they want and none of us will wake them. Well at least I won't nor will Anna my gf. We know better. Other neighbors don't respect the two pm rule as we call it and that makes me mad because while they get away with it if I or Anna decide to break it we REALLY catch it. It's just the way it is. I guess it's because along with being Kaysie's real mama Angel's our second mom too. We call her Mama and she responds when she hears us. Angel's a good second mama don't get me wrong. We love her. She loves us. She's good to us and in return we respect her and try to do as we're asked. Sometimes I worry one day something so terrible will happen and she'll stop loving us but Anna says that'll never happen. I hope she's right.
Anyway being our second mama Angel can be pretty firm with us. her scoldings are to be feared as they burn and sting your heart something terrible. Maybe it's because she's a mama already. Maybe it's because we love her and the thought of disappointing her makes us feel awful. like we really let her down or something.
Maybe that's just how it is with mamas. "Oh girls how could you?" she says in this voice that makes you quickly understand you REALLY messed up and let her down. Sometimes it's "Oh Cammy how could you?" when I really screw up. Which isn't often. I know better.
It isn't all scoldings and trouble though. Sometimes it's long talks while we walk side by side. Sometimes it's sitting at the picnic tables and chatting. Sometimes it's long hugs that seem to make whatever was wrong in the first place melt away. There are many many happy times. And then there's the lessons.....
Yes even at our age us two learn a lot from our second mama. Like how to respect ourselves and others. How it's important to do things like take your medicine (I have depression and bi polar. it sucks) and eat up even when you're so depressed you cry at the drop of a hat. How not to call yourself names like Stupid. That's a hard one for me to obey I get so mad at myself. I get the Look and a lecture and my hand swatted when she catches me doing it though so I've learned to watch it.
But the one thing you never ever ever ever EVER EVER want to do when she's taken you under her wing and become your second mama is cut yourself. I'm not talking about an accident I'm talking about self harm. Or attempting suicide. THAT'S when things get serious when she finds out. Not if. WHEN.
I'm serious. Don't believe me? Well I guess I could tell you about the time I got in trouble for it before she moved away. Yeah moved away. She still visits regularly but it's not exactly the same. Anyway here's what happened.
It had been a hard week for Anna and I. Dealing with the news that in thirty days Mama would be gone except for visits and it would just be us two Kaysie her husband scott the baby and Laura but she doesn't count we have no use for each other laura and I and Mama knows it.
Anyway it was a hard week and right in the middle of it I began showing signs that soon I'd have to go into the hospital again. It happens when you have mental illness even depression and bi polar. I hate it. Anyway I'm off topic I'm meant to be telling you what happened not whining about my mental illness.
When I realized what was going on I of course was furious with myself and my sickness but I knew there was nothing I could do about it once it decides to happen nothing can stop it. All I can do is hang on and try to fight to stay home as long as I can. I always try to fight as long as I can. Until the moment I can't stand it anymore and I finally pack my bags and go to the hospital. Mama says I need to go soon as I realize things are getting out of control but ....well.....
Anyway. Back to that week...
Anna and I had been fussing all that week maybe we both here "getting sick" as we call it when mental problems start to rear their ugly heads. Maybe we were just sad about Mama. I don't know. But whatever the reason that week was a week from Hell and then one night it all hit the fan.
No I didn't leave for the hospital had I done that it all would have been OK but if I had done that there wouldn't be a story now would there? I did something terrible.
I took a knife and I tried to kill myself.
Anna stopped me. got the knife away from me. calmed me down. She would have said more most likely but that's when we heard the sound of Lola on the steps. Lola is Angel's dog so we knew she was coming outside for awhile and Anna ran outside to see her. I stayed in. I was still trying to calm down. I didn't even know Anna had gone outside at first.
Then Anna came back inside. She looked at me a long moment as if she were thinking about what she had to say carefully.
"Mama wants you. She wants to talk. NOW."
I sighed. this didn't sound good at all. I shook my head and sat on the couch. "Nuh-uh. I'll see her when we go out to say goodnight tonight."
"Mama says NOW" was Anna's answer. but I ignored her.
Seeing how Anna didn't repeat the order I thought that was that so I turned the tv on and settled back to watch the simpsons which at the time came on at six and six thirty in the evenings during the week.
Soon there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" I said jumping up. it was a repeat anyway.
When I answered the door there was Mama. Her eyes were flashing and full of fire. She was quiet but I could tell she was furious with someone.
"Mama!" I said happily forgetting what I'd done and anna had said. But she didn't return my happy greeting.
"Come with me we need to talk." was all she said and I could tell this wasn't to be a happy talk.
I slipped outside into the evening. It was summer then so I was warm enough. I slipped my hand into hers and we went to the picnic tables.
"Anna told me what happened tonight." She began.
"Aw Mama" I said with a sigh. "I just lost control a second I'm alright!"
"Are you sure? Do you need to go to the hospital? I could take you if you went in and packed...."
I sighed loudly. "I'm fine Mama I'm fine. it just happens sometimes. I'm ok I can fight this this time"
I expected her to insist that I go but instead she just asked if I was OK again and when I said yes she held me close to her in a hug for a long time.
When she let me go the lecture began. Did I know how serious what I did was? What was I thinking? I knew better than that! She taught me better! the normal mama stuff.
"Get back inside. I don't want to hear a peep out of you the rest of the night. I'll come say goodnight later and you best be in your room resting!" was how she finished her lecture. I should have just obeyed her then and there but I was in a mood. So I began to pout. When that didn't work I whined.
"But Mama!!!! I didn't mean it I won't do it again! Please let's talk til you take the dog back inside!!!" I whined when she said no I began to beg saying Please over and over.
Suddenly she got this look on her face and stood up. I thought she was going to leave me out there to pout alone but instead she helped me to a standing position.
"What did I tell you?" She asked me softly.
"to go on inside for the night." I replied.
"then Go! No. GO! I'm your second mama I'm in charge I said go on now go on."
"NO!!!!!!!" I said I was in full defiant mode she'd never seen me like this. I could tell she was startled.
"Alright. You won't go? I'll take you then." and she took my hand and marched me back to my apartment. But then she did something new. Something she'd never done before.
While I stood there in shocked silence she swatted me on the butt half a dozen times and gave me a little nudge and in I went.
I was in shock Mama had never swatted before. Well Ok she swatted my hand when I said Stupid but that was something else.
"Pull something like that again you'll get more swats!" was her parting words and the door was shut again.
When she came back that night at ten I( was in the livingroom playing bowling with Anna but when I heard her knock I turned the tv back to cable and ran for my room.
Anna opened the door and let Mama in and he came to me by then I was sitting on my bed as if I'd always been there my heart thumping.
"We need to talk..." She said.
I nodded and told her all about it how I felt why I felt that way how much I'd miss her once things changed....and how much I loved her.
"I love you girls too." She said hugging me close.
"I know Mama but do you love ME even though I was so naughty tonight...?" I asked worriedly.
"Yeah I love you Cammy. I always will. no matter what." she replied and I felt better again.
"Mama?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I have a goodnight now?" A Good night was a special hug given when she'd come out to say goodnight to us girls.
"Sure"
and she gave me a long hug and held me close a moment then let go kissed the top of my head and went in to say good night to Anna and was gone.
Well that's what happens when you really cross Mama. I'd tell another one but it's two pm now and I hear Kaysie outside and something tells me now's the perfect time to go and spend time together with her.
the end for now
YLeeCoyote
Apr 7, 2014, 10:28:11 PM4/7/14
to sexualit...@googlegroups.com
Emma,
My story I spoke of I decided to write a little at a time and see what kind of reaction I get.
Two things- First this is a very small group -- only 46 members -- and even in large and very active groups response rates are low. Take a look at the topic list and see. Second, please post in chapter size pieces and number the sections so that they are easy to read in order. Smaller than chapters bits are hard to read because one losses continuity.
I'm a little nervous as I think I'm an OK writer but others say otherwise.. Right now I am a little nervous but I'm going to try my best and
We all have our self doubts. Just keep going and things get easier. Really.
THANK YOU to Rich and Y Lee for the welcome.
You're welcome.
A bit of backround now. I came up with this on my own it just seemed to flow into my brain and begin to bug me to be written all on it's own.
You are not the only one who is just setting down what the characters and your muse dictate. Many of us are that way.
Oh, a nice story start.
Finally, it is unwise to compose in the post box. Write in your own computer using an text editor or even better a word processor. It lets you spreed out the process and go back and change things. When you have another chapter, then just cut and paste it to post.
Y.
Oh, a nice story start.
Finally, it is unwise to compose in the post box. Write in your own computer using an text editor or even better a word processor. It lets you spreed out the process and go back and change things. When you have another chapter, then just cut and paste it to post.
Y.
Emma Kpop
Apr 8, 2014, 9:32:10 AM4/8/14
to sexualit...@googlegroups.com
Hi Y lee! can I have a review please? you answered my post but you never said if you liked it or what you liked about it if anything you didn't even ask questions. don't be afraid of me I don't bite
nadia salem
Apr 17, 2014, 1:03:02 AM4/17/14
to sexualit...@googlegroups.com
Wow this is one of the best story you ever wrote even with me. I wish the others that where at sss before I disappeared could have read this. I got a better glimpse into your life too. By the way if I catch you trying something like that suicide attempt I'll take you over my knee myself bad hand or not.
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