Seven Stages Of Love In Sufism

[Mallory Chowansky]

Thefirst stage of beginning of a story, eyes meet, sparks initiated and something happens. At this stage a boy likes or gets attracted to a girl. But he may not know exactly as to what attracts him, but he realizes that there is something in her which he finds interesting.

And now in this stage he is more interested in her and decides to woo her. So he will try to get any opportunity to talk to her, meet her and so on. He keeps on looking for her signals too. In case he do not get any indication from her in this stage he will move on to other greener pastures but not without a sincere attempt.

The most blissful of all stages. Here the guy starts feeling at top of the world unaware of other things in life just lost in thoughts of his beloved. Here, he is totally involved. She showed him attention and he is now madly in love (he thinks but actually he is not)

This stage initiates the process in love. Here one started trusting someone more than anything and anyone. At this stage the boy decides about the relation and gets into it. Now, he is becoming dependent and his feelings are getting serious now. After this there is no turning back in love.

In this stage love reaches at the extend of worshiping the beloved where nothing can be wrong with the object of worship. Here love not ends even after a denial by the beloved instead leads to the next stage of love. He is loosing control here.

In this stage one finds his own identity incomplete without beloved thus his urge to have love reaches to the level of obsession and madness. A stage where mind stops working and heart starts ruling everything, a very dangerous stage where nothing counts except obsession about the beloved counts.

Appreciation : the boy appreciate and likes the girl. He may not know why he likes her, but there is something which is interesting in her. Of course, there are several of girls which he will find interesting.

Infatuation : here, he would try to woo her and will look for some signal about her interests. If there is nothing like that he surely moves to the other girl which is he was interested in.

Attraction : Slightly more attracted here and will make a little more serious attempt here (may be to keep his reputation). His main agenda here is to ensure that she likes him too. He is not still thinking about love or going anything near to it.

I write about my thoughts on relationships and life, as they come to my mind and as seen in different perspectives. I don't edit them.

I am passionate about what I do. I like making pencil sketches and I am lazy.

In the third stage, the person is more mature and the ego has evolved into the Inspired Nafs. It is only at this level, and not anytime before, that one can experience the true meaning of the word "surrender" and roam the Valley of Knowledge. Anyone who has made it this far will possess and display patience, perseverance, wisdom, and humility. The world will feel new and full of inspiration. Nevertheless, many of the people who reach the third level feel an urge to dwell here, losing the will or the courage to go further. That is why, as beautiful and blessed as it is, the third stage is a trap for the one who aims higher.

Those who manage to go further, reach the Valley of Wisdom and come to know the Serene Nafs. Here the ego is not what it used to be, having altered into a high level of consciousness. Generosity, gratitude, and an unwavering sense of contentment regardless of the hardships in life are the main characteristics accompanying anyone who has arrived here.

Beyond that lies the Valley of Unity. Those who are here will be pleased with whatever situation God places them in. Mundane matters make no difference to them, as they have achieved the Pleased Nafs.

The stages along the path are easy to summarize, difficult to experience. Adding to the obstacles that appear along the way is the fact that there is no guarantee of continuous progress. The route from the first to the last stage is by no means linear. There is always the danger of tumbling back into earlier stages, sometimes even from a superior stage all the way down to the first one. Given the many traps along the way, it is no wonder that in every century only a few people manage to reach the final stages.

Excerpted from Elif Shafak's Forty Rules of Love. SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the seven stages of the self (Nafs)? Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of which stage you were passing through? What helps you remain aware of the stage you are experiencing and support your own journey of evolution?

Nafs(Self) an Arabic word in Quran.

I practice Ramana Maharishi's preaching"Who Am I? I,the biggest stumbling block in spiritual progress relates to the worldly-physical-mortal body.Whearas the eternal Soul inside is only pure consciousness the all pervading Omni present life force.Brahmo Hum Brahmo Hum Brahm Swaroopohum.Nityo hum-Shudho Hum-Budho Hum-Mukto hum.Soul overcoming self is a continuous spiritual quest.Kabir said the path is so narrow that the two cannot reside together. Either it is HE or I. May be I am at a stage dispelling I and adopting HE? In the process the gradual slow Opening of The Third Eye-Tenth Door helps to understand the report card.

There are no perfect human beings. Perfection is God, Jesus , Holy Spirit ... Alone. There are times, however, when the Holy Spirit in dwells an imperfect human being to Have His (perfect) will done thru that person...but stage seven is not a level any human can reach alone. This is why I believe! God's got what I need and cannot achive separate from Him.

Life is a journey of expanding our consciousness. As I review my life voyage, I see myself going beyond my self- restricted boundaries. I create my own suffering by getting attached to my craving for outer things. Recognizing the cause of suffering has helped me to mature and go beyond such a restricted way of thinking and living. Non-judgmental awareness of my own self-created bondage has been helping me to liberate myself from such bondage. There are times when I feel free from my egoic mind and feel deeply connected with the flow of life. These are the moments of pure love in which the dividing line between me and nature and other human beings gets dissolved. It is an oceanic feeling.

Practicing meditation everyday has facilitated the process of knowing myself and expanding my consciousness. It is a unified sky-like state of consciousness. It is a state of pure love, unbound freedom and filled with blissful joy.

May we be aware of our self-created boundaries and move in the direction of expanding our consciousness.

Namaste!

Jagdish P Dave.

The seven stages of the self make sense to me. I think I became aware of being in a stage when I was in stage 3, Inspired Nafs, as I felt some sense of surrender to life and some sense that further growth was to come. In this stage, I was aware that new awareness was happening for me, and I was aware of many questions and had a sense that more understanding was coming. I think I have had experience in stage 4, some brief experience in stage 5, and at least gotten my toe occasionally into stage 6. What helps me remain aware of the stage I am experiencing and supports my journey of evolution is times that I become aware that my awareness has deepened which is accompanied by a sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Based on my own experience, I agree with the author that the journey is definitely not linear, as I have had brief experiences in a stage that was mostly beyond me, then tumbled back, and then sometimes have experiences of longer duration in a more advanced stage.

The Seven Valleys is usually published together with The Four Valleys (Persian: چهار وادی Chahr Vd), which was also written by Bahʼu'llh, under the title The Seven Valleys and the Four Valleys. The two books are distinctly different and have no direct relation.[citation needed] In February 2019 an authorized translation of both titles and some others was published by the Bahʼ World Centre in the collection The Call of the Divine Beloved.[1]

The Seven Valleys was written after March 1856, probably around 1857-1858[2] in Baghdad after Bahʼu'llh had returned from the Sulaymaniyah region in Iraqi Kurdistan where he spent two years anonymously with various Sufi sheikhs using the pseudonym Darvish Muhammad-i-Irani.[3][4] The work was written in response to questions posed by Shaykh Muhyi'd-Din, a judge, who was a follower of the Qdiryyih Order of Sufism.[5] About the time of writing to Bahʼu'llh, he quit his job, and spent the rest of his life wandering around Iraqi Kurdistan.[6]

The style of The Seven Valleys is highly poetic, though not composed in verse. Nearly every line of the text contains rhymes and plays on words, which can be lost in translation. As the recipient was of Sufi origin, Bahʼu'llh used historical and religious subtleties which sometimes used only one or a few words to refer to Qurʼanic verses, traditions, and well-known poems. In English, frequent footnotes are used to convey certain background information.[citation needed]

The book follows the path of the soul on a spiritual journey passing through different stages, from this world to other realms which are closer to God, as first described by the 12th Century Sufi poet Farid al-Din Attar in his Conference of the Birds. Bahʼu'llh in the work explains the meanings and the significance of the seven stages.[5] In the introduction, Bahʼu'llh says "Some have called these Seven Valleys, and others, Seven Cities." The stages are accomplished in order, and the goal of the journey is to follow "the Right Path", "abandon the drop of life and come to the sea of the Life-Bestower", and "gaze on the Beloved". In the conclusion of the book, he mentions:

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