max worlds skin to skin
marika
deal with this drama. This was when Nick was at his sickest and I needed
some friend support but didn't get it because other friends were overwhelmed
with their own crap which to me in the grand context of my life as Eliot
Spitzer says, seemed meaningless and nothing but an energy draw that I
didn't want to devote or donate any time to.
I invited myself, thinking thinking to celebrate a birthday or two with some
old time friends.
They generally speaking told me to buzz off
O I mean I got an invite to come but it wasn't genuine or real, it was like
no, we don't have time to bother but if you want to come down take care of
yourself.
It was just at that moment of time when that wasn't possible so I declined
One of them claimed, she was letting her life get very twisted.
As for the birthday soiree, she had a proposal.
Its kinda selfish she admitted, but I'm SO disorganized at the moment, she
pleaded.
How about if we share a hotel room she proposed. It would keep us closer to
the fun, she further proposed
and heck with the current price of gas, she said, it might actually be worth
it,
versus driving back and forth to the boonies during your visit.
What do you think?
Well I thought, that would have been fine if I hadn't been waiting on a
reply for a month, and this came to me only a few days before the day i
would have arrived had I had time to plan. Sure, you can find last minute
cheap seats, but having waited for a month for an answer, I'd made alternate
plans and gave up. Moving my schedule around, paying premium for a plane
and then so much more for a hotel room that never was budgeted for. Well
it wasn't happening.
I'd love to see you, she pleaded, but I've practically got yarn from floor
to
ceiling in more than one room, and I've been disgusted with life, so the
place is fabulously cluttered and I am not inclined to put the effort in
I'd need over this short time span. The boys would never understand, and
I don't want to explain it to them.
what boys, what explanation. It was a possibility that I would visit and
sleep on her floor or couch. She had come to visit me the previous summer
where she took my bed for a weekend and I slept on the floor and I had
absorbed every penny of the visit. I gave up on understanding this.
Now, here she said is her other latest self-induced drama. she was she said
engaged while in
college, to a guy that she had lately learned grew up in to a rather fine
specimen of male. Not visually, per se, but he's got his crap together.
However, said ex-financee is currently married. Not perfectly, however.
The only reason she didn't wed was that anatomical blob posing as her
mother. that's what she called her, not me. never met her have no opinion
There have been some very interesting conversations, she said and a couple
meetings since that year started. He lives in Fredericksburg she said and
she continued she thinks he works
in Gaithersburg.
Now, all that said, she asked, would you be all that annoyed if I wanted to
come
visit sometime later this year, partially with the plan of getting to
see him along the way?
As far as I could tell, there was nothing partial about it. It was utterly
clear to me that I was being used a tryst staging ground. And that I would
have to expend my mental energies on this nonsense
I know I shouldn't be doing this, she continued but Georgia has been nothing
but
uninspiring to her and she claimed not to care anymore. Her boyfriend at
that time turned out to
be a well-formed turd she claimed
That's fine, I didn't think he was great but not horrible either
She continued, I do miss you, but you
see I have quite a few things going on. Really I wondered. Yarn on the
floor sure. That's obviously a huge conflict to housing a friend for a mere
weekend I thought. She contined, I'm TRYING to start on working
on the apartment, but I have a hard time seeing I'll have even a sleeping
space for you. Unless I give you mine, but even that's questionable. And
again, I wondered, why did I bother giving up my bed when she visited and
slept on the floor.
Nick died shortly thereafter, giving someone energy when you are dealing
with something like that, it's just not worth one's time. It's so mindless
and meaningless when taken in the grander context of things.
I am sure if she wanted to have an affair with this guy, she could pay for
it herself, not just with regard to financing it in dollars, but also in
emotional dedication that I did no longer have for her
mk5000
" i am able to meet rent, but there are many things i cannot permit
myself.
others with high-income spouses and lovers split the cost of housing
and other expensive requirements.
i have to stand alone in every regard."--oj simpson
marika
amount of retarded emails he wrote me seeking support, emotional and
otherwise. I can't tell how many times I had to lend him money. When Nick
died and I mentioned it to him, he reacted to it as if I had said that I had
bought a new pair of jeans. This even though he'd send me requests for
prayer about people I had never heard of and expected me to hold his hand
through every bout of diarrhea.
I once sent him a birthday email when I was on the road. this is how he
answered it
Thank you for thinking about me and my birthday. You will be
glad to know that a very Stately Lady dressed up in red and white so
she could treat me to a birthday luncheon yesterday at the Regency
Room. Remember how we often celebrated together? She is still
"under the weather" from her exhausting move and unpacking but looked
great at the Hotel.
At the luncheon, she surprised me with a very large and
well-done book on the artwork in the Vatican Musea. I told her how
grateful I was to receive such a lovely gift because, last summer, on
the way back from my high school reunion in Baltimore, we stopped in
at the Baltimore Art Gallery hoping to see certain exhibits. While
there, Marilyn found a wonderful set of video tapes giving
sight-seeing tours of these same Vatican galleries. We have watched
all eight tapes and found them delightful. The book is a great
companion piece.
Stay well and do come down with Spring fever!
"marika" <marik...@gmail.com> wrote in message
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marika
right after this
Everyone was upset and disgusted at what happened at VA Tech.
It was a horrible nightmare.
"marika" <marik...@gmail.com> wrote in message
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