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< LATEST BULLETIN
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< By OSCAR SHAGNASTY
< The New York Timex
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HERSHEY, Pa. -- Neurologists who
performed an eight-hour lobotomy on Ed
Conrad's brain have identified the source
of his problem but expressed regret that
they won't be able to fix it.
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"We've learned that Mr. Conrad's brain
is simply located much too close to his
rectum," said Dr. Werner Wiener, head
of the eight-man surgical team. "This, we
feel, explains why The Ignorant Bastard
acts the way he does.
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"We've consulted the Urban Dictionary
and it explains Mr. Conrad's erratic behavior,
especially when he accuses evolutionists
of being brain-washed vested-interest
pseudoscience zombies or insists the
Smithsonian's experts on "Early Man" are
phonier than a four-dollar bill."
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Conrad, whom people long knew has
a very low IQ, has pissed off millions of
Google customers in recent years by
claiming that man is as old as coal and
that death does not exist.
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This is what the Average Joe's brain looks like . . .
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http://www.sciencedaily.com/images/2005/01/050111165229.jpg
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This is what Ed Conrad's brain looks like . . .
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http://www.posiesplace.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/spaghetti-tetrazzini.jpg
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The sophisticated Urban Dictionary,
used quite extensively in the medical
profession, can be found at:
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asshole
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MAKING A MONKEY OUT OF EVOLUTIONISTS
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sci.physics/msg/194e55e1d5d6b724
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MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
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DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.org
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