Physics of Linux shaving cats investigated
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It has been brought to special attention in COLA that Linux
is causing cats to be shaved.
The physics of this phenomena was investigated by putting various
cats next to Linux running on netbooks like
the 11 million+ Linux netbooks that shipped this
year globally capturing 32% of the Linux netbook market.
However to our great worry not a single
cat said a Meow over Linux shaving any cat.
Hmmm....
After some deep physics thought, it was realized
that what we needed a special kind of cat to test
cat shaving theory. We needed a special Shrodinger's Cat!!!
Shrodinger's cats are unfortunately dead and not dead
at the same time. Thats just animal cruelty
so there had to be a better way.
And finally the breakthrough came!
What we needed was a special Schrodinger's Cat
that was both shaven and unshaven at the same time!!!!
After considerable searching, we finally found
a bloke named Shrodinger who claimed his cat
was both shaven and unshaven at the same time.
For $10, we didn't argue the toss.
Shrodinger's cat was then put inside a box
along with a netbook running various liveCDs
and mainstream Linux.
http://www.livecdlist.com
http://www.distrowatch.com
http://www.ubuntu.com
Before the experiment we taught the cat to Meow whenever
it saw a shaver so it could Meow and warn us if it ever
got shaved.
Then we closed the box.
The results were fantastic!
The cat Meowed when we closed the box!!
Proof it must haven been shaved when we closed
the box. And when we opened the box it was
unshaven!!!!
Therefore we conclude that cats are shaven
by Linux when put in a box and lid is closed*.
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* We reject any half baked suppositions
that the cat was Meowing because
cats are afraid of dark boxes.
We know cats can see in the dark!