Fools' Errands - Naval Style
Moggycat
Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
(which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
specifically naval fools' errands?
George Shirley
Don't know about RN but USN in the fifties, new hands were sent to find
Charley Noble (galley smoke stack), the key to the vapor lock, striped
paint, the sky hook, and my all time favorite, to stand mail buoy watch.
George
Andrew Chaplin
Chequered paint? Skyhooks? My father learned of skyhooks in the RN,
but I do not know if that was an RN creation.
--
Andrew Chaplin
SIT MIHI GLADIUS SICUT SANCTO MARTINO
(If you're going to e-mail me, you'll have to get "yourfinger." out.)
Christopher Horner
- Mail buoy watch
- cranking down the mast (popular in San Diego)
- Sound powered phone batteries
- Sending the boot down to Engineering Control to make the following
report, "Sir, High level alarm in the cooling system, request permission
to blow the MPA"
- BT Punch. Need to rethink this one, but is was popular on my first two
ships w/ 1200 lb. plants, and huge knuckle-dragging BTs.
--
Christopher Horner
fudog50
-Gig Line
-Standing the Monkey Watch while sailing past Gibraltar, (included a
broomstick and a hard hat)
BF Lake
"Moggycat" <mogg...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:956aa810.04020...@posting.google.com...
Green oil for the starboard lamp.
One guy was reported in the galley looking to get some oil boiled when he
was sent for some boiled oil by his petty officer. I believe the kid did
this to himself though, not because he was sent. (Linseed oil is "double
boiled" so maybe he asked them to boil it twice!)
Regards,
Barry
TinCanMan
Relative Bearing Grease... for the compass
The Golden Rivet... supposedly the last rivet installed and located in the
shaft alley.
Trev Bradley
>> Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
>> errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
>> (which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
>> for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
>> generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
>> specifically naval fools' errands?
>
>Relative Bearing Grease... for the compass
>The Golden Rivet... supposedly the last rivet installed and located in the
>shaft alley.
In addition to the above the odd person is still sent off with a torch to
recharge the escape arrows. Some seem to prefer this to their actual job.
Trev
Looking forward to the last installment of 'War at Sea' (UK BBC2)
Chris Jones
> In addition to the above the odd person is still sent off with a torch to
> recharge the escape arrows. Some seem to prefer this to their actual job.
>
A few more:
Sending someone to the Chiefs' mess to turn off their lights when "darken
ship" is piped
Getting volunteers for the Gibraltar ape shoot or a Malta dog cull
Money changing for Gibraltar - 'If you're going ashore you better go and
cash a cheque for your Giblets!!'
And you always manage to get plenty of volunteers for the lucrative job of
'Splash Target Coxswain' although a few drop out during training once they
realise it's a bite!
Jonah
The Devil's Advocaat
news:qzuVb.10036$UF1....@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
Wasn't 'skyhook' an experimental system for launching & recovering the
Harrier?
Chris Jones
> Wasn't 'skyhook' an experimental system for launching & recovering the
> Harrier?
>
off the deck, they are S shaped pieces of metal probarbly about 10-12 inches
long before they are bent.
Duke of URL
Moggycat <mogg...@aol.com> radiated into the WorldWideWait:
Sending new techs at a CommSta hunting for a spool of Red Order Wire
to do some repairs.
Binnacle Alignment Tool.
Mail Buoy Watch.
Compass Oil.
Duke of URL
TinCanMan <51d9...@NoSPAM.sneakemail.com> radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
>> We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and
>> AC Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
>> errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of
>> steam (which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline,
>> tuning pipe for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've
>> collected were very generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed
>> screwdriver. Can anyone recall specifically naval fools' errands?
>
> Relative Bearing Grease... for the compass
And I almost had a heart attack when, in a "Naval junk & surplus"
store in Norfolk VA, I found a can of Bearing Grease made by the
Relative Lubrication Company!
Peptic_Sheriff
Peptic_Sheriff
On Sun, 8 Feb 2004 16:45:36 -0600, "Duke of URL"
<macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote:
Dale Farmer
Duke of URL wrote:
When I was in Hospital Corps school, I was sent to go get some
fallopian
tubes. ( I brought back the lady HM2 who ran the training lab, with the
female anatomy model. She thought this was hilarious. )
The aviation world has Prop Wash ( which actually does exist, in
aviation
IMA shops. ) and Jet Blast compound.
--Dale
fudog50
I have worked 'O' level on P-3's, EP-3's, C-130's, E-2's and
C-2's. I think those are the only prop aircraft that an IMA supports.
Additionaly, I worked at 2 different IMA's, Moffett and Whidbey. I
have never used, nor heard of this "prop wash" you are talking about.
Please enlighten me? I have heard this joke of course for 22 years,
and it would certainly be an eye opener to me if it actually existed
and I was working with it for all these years and didn't even know
it!
On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 04:30:49 GMT, Dale Farmer <Da...@cybercom.net>
wrote:
>>
Louis V. Spielman
"George Shirley" <gsh...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:qzuVb.10036$UF1....@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
fudog50
And what in the heck is "Jet Blast compound"???
Tom Vart
>Can anyone recall specifically naval fools' errands?
Larne/Splash target Cox'n has to be a favourite, the fun is actually in
getting the candidates to do the training (in dry bag , Goggles, rigging
set, Assault troop lifejacket and yellow surcoat).
Malta Dog shoot - It always amazed me the sheer volume of people who put
names forward for this event!
Basin Trials - taken literally and getting the said Junior sailor watching
the basins in the bathrooms for any leaks prior to sailing.
Or the legendary telephone calls to the stressed Quartermaster in the hope
of reaching his hapless and green Bonus's mate with a request to 'Make a
pipe for me skin':
"D'ya hear there, No smoking - no naked lights on the weather decks - H2o
spillage" (After a rain storm)
"D'Ya hear there, The Sports store is now open, all Tennis rackets are to be
returned to the PTI and Balls to the Master at Arms"
"Hot pies are now being issued from the main galley" Most effective when
made at standeasy and guaranteed to impress the overworked Cabbage
mechanics!
RO Tate - Hangar
REM Brantd - Paint store
Seaman Stains - Laundry
There were 100's of these 'play on names' pipes, anyone out there remember
them?
Tom
Des H
"fudog50" asked:
> Oh yeah, Dale,
> And what in the heck is "Jet Blast compound"???
>
--
Des
Duke of URL
Peptic_Sheriff <Peptic_...@aol.com> radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
Oh, for that you have to go over the the Beachmasters Unit - they're
in that building over there.
old git
bulbs!)
>
> Green oil for the starboard lamp.
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----
Jeff
old git wrote:
>
> i was told to go and get some pink paraffin for the night lights (red
> bulbs!)
>
> >
> > Green oil for the starboard lamp.
>
Nobody's mentioned 'looking for the golden rivet' yet!!
{:-))
Jeff
Nemo l'ancien
Jerry
> We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
> Batteries.
One of my all time favorites was when the Chief Engineer of a 1052
turned in a requisition to the Supply Officer for 1000 Gas Tight
Envelopes. Even the CO got involved in that one. <G>
Cheers/2,
Jerry
--
Jack Linthicum
Oh, you just reminded me: coriolus effect watch, in order to determine
when you have crossed the equator. There's another one for the
dateline but it's not readily available.
http://goatlocker.exis.net/crossline.pdf
TinCanMan
> errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
> (which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
> for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
> specifically naval fools' errands?
While not exactly an errand, plenty of fools were to be found. I submit the
tradition of the Sea Bat. Do they still do that?
TinCanMan
"Jeff" <je...@local.host> wrote in message
news:402785A7...@local.host...
Well, yes they have, you're number three.
Jeff
> > Nobody's mentioned 'looking for the golden rivet' yet!!
> > {:-))
> >
> > Jeff
>
> Well, yes they have, you're number three.
Oooh! my news server must be missing posts.
Jeff
Jack Linthicum
e.m.h.o. log?
Dale Farmer
fudog50 wrote:
> Ok Dale,
> I have worked 'O' level on P-3's, EP-3's, C-130's, E-2's and
> C-2's. I think those are the only prop aircraft that an IMA supports.
> Additionaly, I worked at 2 different IMA's, Moffett and Whidbey. I
> have never used, nor heard of this "prop wash" you are talking about.
> Please enlighten me? I have heard this joke of course for 22 years,
> and it would certainly be an eye opener to me if it actually existed
> and I was working with it for all these years and didn't even know
> it!
I was touring the engine rebuild shop at some aviation facility in
Norfolk that a friend worked at, and he pointed it out. The label on
the drum said prop wash, and it didn't look like it was something
that had been made up to fool the rubes. *shrugs* He may have
been yanking my chain, but it looked real.
--Dale
Brian Sharrock
"The Devil's Advocaat" <thedevil...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:c06a0q$uh$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...
> "George Shirley" <gsh...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:qzuVb.10036$UF1....@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
> > Moggycat wrote:
> > > We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
> > > Batteries.
> > > Can anyone recall specifically naval fools' errands?
> >
> > Don't know about RN but USN in the fifties, new hands were sent to find
> > Charley Noble (galley smoke stack), the key to the vapor lock, striped
> > paint, the sky hook, and my all time favorite, to stand mail buoy watch.
> >
> >
>
> Harrier?
>
provide for launching and recovering Harrier aircraft from a
semi-robitic arm that could pluck an aircraft from the sky and
place it onto a deck for refueling and re-arming.
It was envisaged as a force-multiplier along SLOC.
{The thinking was that Red-Force might reckon that Harriers
were operating within x miles of a Harrier-Carrier ; but if Skyhook
equipped merchies were strung across the Atlantic then a Harrier
might appear at any moment.]
In operation the pilot was required to position his aircraft into
a box-of-space. This box was space-stabilised i.e decoupled from the
pitch, roll, yaw and heave of the ship by the robotic arm. Once in
the box which the pilot established by reference to aiming bars on
the robotic arm the clamping was executed. The arm would withdraw
and translate to a ship-stabilised touchdown at the refuelling/re-arming
station.
The system was not developed but a proof-of-concept was demonstrated
with a company aircraft showing that a pilot could establish his
aircraft in the box-in-space. This demonstration of airmanship was
achieved using a prototype set of 'aiming bars' mounted on the jib
of a _huge_ yellow crane. The rest as they say was mere detail:
and could have been delivered given sufficient time and money"
The 'wall' came tumbling down, and the requirement for Reforger
type operations went away. "Project Skyhook" went the way of the 'wall'
and is now a footnote in history.
AIUI, Project Skyhook was named after the well-known skyhook -
it just seemed appropriate.
--
Brian
[A very minor tooth on that particular cog.]
BF Lake
> Harrier?
>
http://www.csd.uwo.ca/~pettypi/elevon/baugher_us/f9c-01.html
about 2/3ds down, it mentions "skyhook trainer" for the planes that trained
in hooking on to the "airship hook-on gear"
Regards,
Barry
Joe Osman
> errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
> (which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
> for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
> specifically naval fools' errands?
Some radar ones:
Frequency grease-if the new guy brings anything back it's low frequency
grease and you needed high frequency grease.
a waveguide stretcher
Joe
Tom Vart
"Jack Linthicum" <jackli...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:7164002b.0402...@posting.google.com...
<SNIP>
> Oh, you just reminded me: coriolus effect watch, in order to determine
> when you have crossed the equator. There's another one for the
> dateline but it's not readily available.
> http://goatlocker.exis.net/crossline.pdf
That's the one I was trying to remember, thanks Jack.
tom
George Shirley
> In article <qzuVb.10036$UF1....@bignews6.bellsouth.net>,
> George Shirley <gsh...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>
>>Don't know about RN but USN in the fifties, new hands were sent to find
>>Charley Noble (galley smoke stack), the key to the vapor lock, striped
>>paint, the sky hook, and my all time favorite, to stand mail buoy watch.
>
>
>
> I was in the USN Reserves way back when...the unit I was in spent two
> weeks aboard USS Briscoe, a Sprucan. We were doing circles off the
> Virginia Capes, various drills etc., with midshipmen onboard. One
> particular fellow in our unit, Seaman White, was not the sharpest
> tool in the shed. I was on the bridge on watch, with the ship riding
> in a fairly gentle quartering sea, winds around 20kts. We saw some deck
> apes on the forecastle with Seaman White, dressed in foulies and a
> harness of some sort. They attached a line to him, and sent him up
> to the prow of the ship with a boat hook, and ran the line back to
> the position they took up inside the superstructure.
>
> The XO, who had the con, saw what was happening and ordered the ship
> into the wind. Seaman White then had apparent wind over the bow
> at around 25kts or so, with a medium rain and the bow of the
> ship dancing around a bit.
>
> The skipper, who had been sacked out at the time, came onto the
> bridge. He walked up to the windows on the forward bulkhead and
> asked, "What the hell is he doing up there?". The XO calmly
> replied, "Mail buoy watch sir". The skipper muttered "Jesus
> Christ" under his breath and stomped off the bridge.
>
> -Geoff
>
Skipper of the Warrington back in 59 didn't get poed when we had mail
buoy watch standers unless they insisted on calling the bridge and
reporting "mail buoy off the starboard bow." He did understand the need
for a little fun though.
George
Sarah Hotdesking
> ooops!!! shold have been "shore line stretcher"
Another one I've heard is 2 metres of <insert commercial name> air-line.
--
Sarah H
http://www.messybeast.com
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/aeth.htm
Aethism - a religion for the 21st Century
David Phillips
summer (I think that Canoe U. does it as well) in which you spend a
week each with the bubbleheads, skimmers, airdales and jarheads.
During skimmer week, we were out at see on some non-descript tin can
(1975), and someone got tagged for mailbuoy watch (I think it was a
mid, but I was on the bridge.)
Said watchkeeper started jumping up and down and shouting on the sound
powered phone.
Sure enough, we came up upon a sonabuoy that had been recently dropped
by a P-3 operating in the same area.
Watchkeeper was placated when he was told that buoy was for the next
ship.
Sarah Hotdesking
Better send an errand boy to find them ....
Bob McKellar
Geoff Cashman wrote:
> <snip>
>
> I was in the USN Reserves way back when...the unit I was in spent two
> weeks aboard USS Briscoe, a Sprucan.
<snip>
Begging the gentleman's pardon, but to a lot of us around here the terms "way
back when" and "Sprucan" are not compatible!
Bob McKellar, plankowner on a ship that has been decommissioned and sold for
parts
David Phillips
<david.p...@sas.com> wrote:
>During skimmer week, we were out at see on some non-descript tin can
out at sea, that is. Sheesh.
George Shirley
first ship were both decommissioned and sold for scrap in 1974, fourteen
years after I served on them. The first, Warrington, was built in 1945
and I served on her 1959-1960k, the second, Lester, was, IIRC, built in
1957 and I was aboard for six months in 1960 before separation. Breaks
your heart to realize ships that were once "home" went to the ship breakers.
George
Andrew Spark
mogg...@aol.com (Moggycat) wrote:
> We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
> Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
> errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
No, you mean a bucket of dehydrated water!
> (which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
> for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
> generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
> specifically naval fools' errands?
Red and green oil for the port and starboard riding lamps. There are
also left handed spanners, and long stands.
fudog50
Greg Surratt
>We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
>Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
>errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
>(which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
>for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
>generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
>specifically naval fools' errands?
How about getting the BMOW to pass the word for "IC2 Balls"?
Bob McKellar
George Shirley wrote:
I wasn't claiming to be the champion, just razzing the rookie!
Bob
John Lansford
>We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
>Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
>errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
>(which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
>for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
>generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
>specifically naval fools' errands?
Not a naval "fools' errand", but I sent a civil engineering technician
all over the building looking for a "curve stretcher" one day. We also
had him looking for a "box of topo" on another occasion...
John Lansford, PE
--
The unofficial I-26 Construction Webpage:
http://users.vnet.net/lansford/a10/
George Shirley
I'm not the champ on this newsgroup either, I think there's some really,
really old guys on here. <VBG>
George
TinCanMan
> "Jeff" <je...@local.host> wrote in message
> news:4027998A...@local.host...
> >
> >
> > > > Nobody's mentioned 'looking for the golden rivet' yet!!
> > > > {:-))
> > > >
> > > > Jeff
> > >
> > > Well, yes they have, you're number three.
> >
> > Oooh! my news server must be missing posts.
>
> Better send an errand boy to find them ....
He's already out there but he's doing a Tom Sawyers Traverse... also
called lollygaging or meandering about aimlessly and it will be
forever till he gets back.
Christopher Horner
<theobviou...@theobviousindiana.edu> wrote:
> In article <opr22b9p...@news.west.earthlink.net>,
> Christopher Horner <hor...@earthlinkES.ADnet> wrote:
>> - BT Punch. Need to rethink this one, but is was popular on my first
>> two
>> ships w/ 1200 lb. plants, and huge knuckle-dragging BTs.
>
> Or HT punch. Same type :)
>
Don't specify to the FNG whether to ask for the left or right punch; the
smart HT will suggest taking both "just to be sure".
--
Christopher Horner
Thomas Schoene
> Begging the gentleman's pardon, but to a lot of us around here the
> terms "way back when" and "Sprucan" are not compatible!
>
> Bob McKellar, plankowner on a ship that has been decommissioned
> and sold for parts
There are Sprucan plankowners who can say the same, alas.
http://www.nvr.navy.mil/nvrships/details/DD966.htm
--
Tom Schoene Replace "invalid" with "net" to e-mail
"If brave men and women never died, there would be nothing
special about bravery." -- Andy Rooney (attributed)
TinCanMan
There's a guy hangs out in alt.military.retired and is a WWII vet. I think
he's 85 or thereabouts. Goes by the name of George Z. Bush. I'm sure Duke's
familiar with him. Think he retired before I joined and I've been retired
now going on 25 years.
TJ
DF Bearing Grease
Squilgee Sharpener
Cyrillic Pencil
Rearrange the 6-ply (6 colored sheets with 5 carbons to put in reverse
order)
Yards of chow line
--------
TJ
Moggycat
The following (which I put on one of my urban legends pages) is
another form of work-avoidance and was told to me many years ago by my
father and I apologise in advance for the lack of proper rank
terminology.
A naval ship docked in Portsmouth welcomed a senior ranking officer on
board to inspect the ship and its crew. The sailors were instructed to
get on with daily tasks and to 'look busy'. The officer toured the
ship, asking questions and seeming generally pleased at what he saw -
lots of industrious sailors. One sailor caught his eye. The chap was
sat on deck carving holes into a block of wood. Intrigued, the senior
officer went to investigate.
"At ease, sailor, what's that you're doing?" the officer asked.
"I'm making an Oggle-Goggle, Sir," the sailor replied.
Unwilling to admit that he didn't have any idea what an Oggle-Goggle
was, the officer simply said "Very good, keep it up, keep it up," and
the sailor saluted him before getting back to work on the wooden box.
The ship was docked for an unexpected length of time due to
re-provisioning and some necessary repairs so the officer had several
more chances to visit (after 10 years of 'sailing a desk' he liked to
play at being a real sailor again). Each time he noticed the
industrious sailor working on his Oggle-Goggle and he wondered what
the box was used for.
Eventually, repairs were complete and the ship was ready to depart.
The officer took a last tour of the ship and made sure to see the
Oggle-Goggle sailor.
"Nearly finished that Oggle-Goggle man?" he asked.
"Yes sir! Finished sir!" said the sailor, displaying a wooden box with
lots of holes carved in it.
"Well, let's see it in action," ordered the officer, desperate to find
out what the thing did.
"Yes sir! Right away sir!" the sailor answered, "This way sir!"
The sailor leaned over the side of the ship and dropped the box into
the water. The thing sank with a sound of 'Oggle-Goggle, Oggle-Goggle,
Oggle-Goggle'.
(My note: either it was *very* heavy wood or was weighted so it sank)
TinCanMan
news:<f4b8264a.04020...@posting.google.com>...
> > "Sarah Hotdesking" <shart...@MAWAYshartwell.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in
message news:<c08i6p$ae3$1...@newsg4.svr.pol.co.uk>...
> > > "Jeff" <je...@local.host> wrote in message
> > > news:4027998A...@local.host...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > > Nobody's mentioned 'looking for the golden rivet' yet!!
> > > > > > {:-))
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Jeff
> > > > >
> > > > > Well, yes they have, you're number three.
> > > >
> > > > Oooh! my news server must be missing posts.
> > >
> > > Better send an errand boy to find them ....
> >
> > He's already out there but he's doing a Tom Sawyers Traverse... also
> > called lollygaging or meandering about aimlessly and it will be
> > forever till he gets back.
>
> The following (which I put on one of my urban legends pages) is
> another form of work-avoidance and was told to me many years ago by my
> father and I apologise in advance for the lack of proper rank
> terminology.
Work-avoidance? Oh my, how polite. We had a more familiar term. On
retrospect, the current crop might call it that. I often wonder if the WWII
generation thought we were candy-asses.
Perhaps he should have been introduced to the Sea Bat, although I don't
think any of us had the cahones to carry that evolution off on the wardroom
set.
Jack Linthicum
a klootch-maker with a different product.
Duke of URL
TinCanMan <51d9...@NoSPAM.sneakemail.com> radiated into the
WorldWideWait:
> "George Shirley" <gsh...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:kwUVb.33808$qK3....@bignews3.bellsouth.net...
>> Bob McKellar wrote:
>>> George Shirley wrote:
>>>> Bob McKellar wrote:
>>>>> Geoff Cashman wrote:
>>>>>> <snip>
>>>>>
>>>>>> I was in the USN Reserves way back when...the unit I was in
>>>>>> spent two weeks aboard USS Briscoe, a Sprucan.
>>>>> <snip>
>>>>>
>>>>> Begging the gentleman's pardon, but to a lot of us around here
>>>>> the terms "way back when" and "Sprucan" are not compatible!
>>>>> Bob McKellar, plankowner on a ship that has been decommissioned
>>>>> and sold for parts
>>>>
>>>> Are we gonna start "old farting" each other now Bob. My last
>>>> ship and my first ship were both decommissioned and sold for
>>>> scrap in 1974, fourteen years after I served on them. The first,
>>>> Warrington, was built in 1945 and I served on her 1959-1960k,
>>>> the second, Lester, was, IIRC, built in 1957 and I was aboard
>>>> for six months in 1960 before separation. Breaks your heart to
>>>> realize ships that were once "home" went to the ship breakers.
>>>
>>>
>> really, really old guys on here. <VBG>
>
> I think he's 85 or thereabouts. Goes by the name of George Z. Bush.
> I'm sure Duke's familiar with him. Think he retired before I joined
> and I've been retired now going on 25 years.
I have my suspicions that Geo Z was handling the lines from the pier
when they launched the Hunley...
Bill McClain
howitzer report at Fort Sill in '42...
Andy Ashworth
<snip wardroom wind-up>
> The sailor leaned over the side of the ship and dropped the box into
> the water. The thing sank with a sound of 'Oggle-Goggle, Oggle-Goggle,
> Oggle-Goggle'.
>
I personnaly witnessed a similar prank on a training fortnight with 10 MCM a
number of years ago. Our 1st Lt was from a different reserve division and
was a merchant seaman to boot; naturally being a "foreigner" on two counts
he was subject to a certain amount of suspicion and p*ss taking! On about
day 2 of the exercise, the 1st Lt was asked about a specific type of knot
called the "Spur lash" apparently it was mentioned in one of task books but
wasn't referenced in any Admiralty manuals and none of the seamanship
department were able to help... could the Jimmy, with his vast experience of
the sea perhaps assist in finding this elusive reference? The 1st Lt scoured
his books, and every other book he could get his hands on but to no avail.
it was on the very last day, as we were returning to our home port that the
PO(MW) called up to the bridge to announce proudly that he'd found what a
"Spur lash" was - the 1st Lt, eager to find out, quickly asked for a
demonstration - a hand full of bolts were thrown over-board with the comment
that "where they hit the water, that's the Spur-Lash!".
--
Andy
TinCanMan
"Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote in message
news:102hhso...@corp.supernews.com...
There may be truth in that. I've also heard he was Load Dispatcher when God
said let there be light.
Jack Linthicum
> >Can anyone recall specifically naval fools' errands?
>
> getting the candidates to do the training (in dry bag , Goggles, rigging
> set, Assault troop lifejacket and yellow surcoat).
>
> Malta Dog shoot - It always amazed me the sheer volume of people who put
> names forward for this event!
>
> Basin Trials - taken literally and getting the said Junior sailor watching
> the basins in the bathrooms for any leaks prior to sailing.
>
> Or the legendary telephone calls to the stressed Quartermaster in the hope
> of reaching his hapless and green Bonus's mate with a request to 'Make a
> pipe for me skin':
>
> "D'ya hear there, No smoking - no naked lights on the weather decks - H2o
> spillage" (After a rain storm)
>
> "D'Ya hear there, The Sports store is now open, all Tennis rackets are to be
> returned to the PTI and Balls to the Master at Arms"
>
> "Hot pies are now being issued from the main galley" Most effective when
> made at standeasy and guaranteed to impress the overworked Cabbage
> mechanics!
>
> RO Tate - Hangar
>
> REM Brantd - Paint store
>
> Seaman Stains - Laundry
>
> There were 100's of these 'play on names' pipes, anyone out there remember
> them?
>
I used to work with a guy named M.T. Mooring, he was in the Naval Reserves too.
Jack Linthicum
> mogg...@aol.com (Moggycat) wrote:
>
> >We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
> >Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
> >errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
> >(which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
> >for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
> >generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
> >specifically naval fools' errands?
>
> Not a naval "fools' errand", but I sent a civil engineering technician
> all over the building looking for a "curve stretcher" one day. We also
> had him looking for a "box of topo" on another occasion...
>
One mark one, mod 12 "curve stretcher" coming up:
http://www.lsi.upc.es/dept/investigacion/sectig/web-ig/alias/Modeling/Background.fm.html
History of Splines
Splines are types of curves, originally developed for ship-building in
the days before computer modeling. Naval architects needed a way to
draw a smooth curve through a set of points.
The solution was to place metal weights (called knots) at the control
points, and bend a thin metal or wooden beam (called a spline) through
the weights.
The physics of the bending spline meant that the influence of each
weight was greatest at the point of contact, and decreased smoothly
further along the spline. To get more control over a certain region of
the spline, the draftsman simply added more weights.
This scheme had obvious problems with data exchange! People needed a
mathematical way to describe the shape of the curve. Cubic Polynomials
Splines are the mathematical equivalent of the draftsman's wooden
beam. Polynomials were extended to B-splines (for Basis splines),
which are sums of lower-level polynomial splines. Then B-splines were
extended to NURBS.
Sarah Hotdesking
> > > I think he's 85 or thereabouts. Goes by the name of George Z. Bush.
> > > I'm sure Duke's familiar with him. Think he retired before I joined
> > > and I've been retired now going on 25 years.
> >
> > I have my suspicions that Geo Z was handling the lines from the pier
> > when they launched the Hunley...
>
> There may be truth in that. I've also heard he was Load Dispatcher when
God
> said let there be light.
>
Sarah Hotdesking
Ant's/crocodile's milk, Gnat's Milk/Gnat Tit Ointment
Box of sparks for spark plugs
Box of tappet clearances
Bubbles for spirit levels
Bucket of compressed air
Can of blue steam
Compass wrench (The trainee navigator is told that the compass needs
adjusting and to fetch the compass wrench from the engine room. On one
luxury liner the engineers hoisted an enormous 50 kg, 1 metre long wrench
onto the shoulders of the trainee who had to stagger up a 30 metre
oil-covered stairway. The prank backfired when one trainee became so angry
at learning it was a prank that he dumped the "compass wrench" overboard. A
similar tale is told of the tuning pipe for the foghorn, another unwieldy
prank item also kept in an inconvenient place.)
Copper magnet
Data packets (I *love* doing this one!! Along with getting people to blow
down their network connection to clear any stuck packets - works even better
if they have heard of data collisions)
Elbow grease (I once got so fed up with this I got a can of non-coloured
shoe wax and labelled it up as elbow grease; my mother never asked again)
Fire warmer
Flux capacitor
Glass axe/glass hammer/glass magnet
Grape grater
Holes for hole punches
K9P Cutting Fluid
Left-handed monkey wrench/Left handed screwdriver
Long drop/Long stand, Big weight/wait, a runaround (Best when storesman
goes away for a while to "look" and on his return he says "was that long
enough?")
Non-conductive cardboard
Pachyderm trunking
Podger, for aligning holes
Ring centres
Roll of film for the digital Camera
Rubber mallet
Sandwiches with an extra helping of beef curtains
Sauerkraut seed
Socket for round nuts
Some electricity (usually the fool is sent away form stores with a battery)
Sparks for the fire/Sparks for the grinder
Stop bits for the ethernet
The lost document file
Virtual ram for the computer network server
White ink for the inkjet printer
Wiremesh watering can
A road ganger was asked to fetch a "roadside plane" (supposedly used for
levelling roadsides) and being more than usually diligent he discovered that
something of that name really existed, so he hired it. It cost the firm £200
a day in hire fees!
Olivers
>
> "The Devil's Advocaat" <thedevil...@hotmail.com> wrote
>>
>> Wasn't 'skyhook' an experimental system for launching & recovering
>> the Harrier?
>>
> If so, before that it was:
> http://www.csd.uwo.ca/~pettypi/elevon/baugher_us/f9c-01.html
> about 2/3ds down, it mentions "skyhook trainer" for the planes that
> trained in hooking on to the "airship hook-on gear"
>
AKRON and MACON both carried Curtis fighters (semi-operationally), a model
designed specifically for airship employment. The ships had internal
"hangars" and the a/c were retrieved and deployed vis a skyhook (a/c) and
trapeze (a/s) devices.
Later a "point defense fighter", a not so small jet, was developed for the
B-36 (was it the XF-85 ThunderGoblin or some such?).
TMO
Peter Skelton
theobviou...@theobviousindiana.edu (Geoff Cashman) wrote:
>In article <Xns948BD47F9571...@nieveler.org>,
>Juergen Nieveler <juergen.nie...@arcor.de> wrote:
>>"Sarah Hotdesking" <shart...@MAWAYshartwell.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>> Data packets (I *love* doing this one!! Along with getting people to
>>> blow down their network connection to clear any stuck packets - works
>>> even better if they have heard of data collisions)
>>
>>Also done in IT departments all over the world: Sending somebody to
>>fetch new Tokens, or telling the user to never remove the network plug
>>from the wall to prevent said Tokens from falling out. Oh blessed days
>>of Token- Ring :-)
>>
>
>"blessed"? That's it. You must be a troll :)
>
or a reader of Kipling
Peter Skelton
Andy Dingley
wrote:
>Later a "point defense fighter", a not so small jet, was developed for the
>B-36 (was it the XF-85 ThunderGoblin or some such?).
There were two of them - the XF85 Goblin was developed "for" the B36
(amongst others), but it was almost unflyable and the two prototypes
spent no more than a couple of hourse airborne, from a B29 in '48 &
'49.
The aircraft that flew operationally from under a B36 (strictly
speaking an RB36G) in '56 & '57 was the RF84K. This was a high-speed
reconnaissance dash, over sites that would make mincemeat of a slow
prop-driven bomber.
My favourite composite still has to be the British Mercury / Maia
combination of the '30s. A 4-engined floatplane, carried aloft by a
4-engined flying boat.
--
Die Gotterspammerung - Junkmail of the Gods
Jim Watt
<juergen.nie...@arcor.de> wrote:
>"Sarah Hotdesking" <shart...@MAWAYshartwell.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Data packets (I *love* doing this one!! Along with getting people to
>> blow down their network connection to clear any stuck packets - works
>> even better if they have heard of data collisions)
>
>Also done in IT departments all over the world: Sending somebody to
>fetch new Tokens, or telling the user to never remove the network plug
>from the wall to prevent said Tokens from falling out. Oh blessed days
>of Token- Ring :-)
You want a MAU as a reminder? I was thinking of putting
mine on e-bay along with a box of those bisexual plugs.
--
Jim Watt http://www.gibnet.com
John Mianowski
JM
BF Lake
"Olivers" <ol...@LOSETHIScalpha.com> wrote in message
news:Xns948B97E...@216.196.97.132...
> BF Lake muttered....
>
> >
> > "The Devil's Advocaat" <thedevil...@hotmail.com> wrote
> >>
> >> Wasn't 'skyhook' an experimental system for launching & recovering
> >> the Harrier?
> >>
> > If so, before that it was:
> > http://www.csd.uwo.ca/~pettypi/elevon/baugher_us/f9c-01.html
> > about 2/3ds down, it mentions "skyhook trainer" for the planes that
> > trained in hooking on to the "airship hook-on gear"
> >
>
> AKRON and MACON both carried Curtis fighters (semi-operationally), a model
> designed specifically for airship employment. The ships had internal
> "hangars" and the a/c were retrieved and deployed vis a skyhook (a/c) and
> trapeze (a/s) devices.
Ok I see what I missed, thanks. So that should be "Skyhook, aircraft, each
one, for the use of". What they really needed was Robinson's Disengaging
Gear, as used successfully for a hundred years or so in RN and derivative
navies for slipping a lowered boat from the falls.
Also mentioned in the link is the Waco XJW-1 aircraft carried by these
airships. Was that plane (not a Texan), made by TMO's "grand-daddy" (a
Texican) in his rumoured downtown aeroplane, lightning rod, and storm door
factory, which is now the Yugo outlet?
Regards,
Barry
Derek Lyons
>I have my suspicions that Geo Z was handling the lines from the pier
>when they launched the Hunley...
<nods> We had a Senior Chief cook who claimed to have cranked back on
the ARK-1.
D.
--
The STS-107 Columbia Loss FAQ can be found
at the following URLs:
Text-Only Version:
http://www.io.com/~o_m/columbia_loss_faq.html
Enhanced HTML Version:
http://www.io.com/~o_m/columbia_loss_faq_x.html
Corrections, comments, and additions should be
e-mailed to o...@io.com, as well as posted to
sci.space.history and sci.space.shuttle for
discussion.
Derek Lyons
>Cans of Water Slugs
Hehe... One long boring patrol we organized the SPCWS (Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Water Slugs), complete with protest
signs, petions, and a sit-in held in the Torpedo Room...
BF Lake
"Derek Lyons" <derek...@nospamyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:402a6ebc...@supernews.seanet.com...
> "Duke of URL" <macbenahATkdsiDOTnet> wrote:
>
> >I have my suspicions that Geo Z was handling the lines from the pier
> >when they launched the Hunley...
>
> <nods> We had a Senior Chief cook who claimed to have cranked back on
> the ARK-1.
>
Regards,
Barry
Jack Linthicum
I'm running out: deicer for the level, a bit bucket for the bits lost
when the system crashes, and the inevitible spare smoke canister for
when the smoke (that runs the computer) escapes. Not useful: an
explanation to a technician connecting a very expensive dedicated
computer set up for an international conference that the Eurps use
220/230 v 50 cycle current. That's when you need the spare smoke and a
new system to fit into the old cabinets.
TJ
LRPCs = Little Round Paper Circles.
This is the original term I heard for what is now called chad.
Difference seems to be that LRPCs came from hole punches and chad came
from punched paper tape.
The use of either is as follows:
Get styrofoam cup
Punch out bottom
Put on desk of target
Fill with chad/LRPCs
Target picks up cup saying something like: Hey, wadda fug is dis?
chad/LRPCs leak out all over the place.
Also called a "Chad bomb"
Variations
Day 2 for same target
glue a cardboard circle about 1/2 inch below rim of cup
cover circle with glue and cover with chad/LRPCs
Put on desk.
Target will cuss (of course) while trying to edge the cup off the desk
without spilling anything thru the assumed hole.
Nothing falls out.
Target usually tips cup, and nothing falls out. Target tosses cup with
more 'colorful metaphors.'
Day 3 for same target
Fill with loose chad as in day 1.
Target will cuss (of course) while trying to edge the cup off the desk
without spilling anything thru the assumed hole.
Will then forget what's going on and toss it or tip it over thus
spilling the chad all over.
Almost as good as the 'water-filled desk.'
TJ
Moggycat
> "Sarah Hotdesking" <shart...@MAWAYshartwell.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > Data packets (I *love* doing this one!! Along with getting people to
> > blow down their network connection to clear any stuck packets - works
> > even better if they have heard of data collisions)
>
> fetch new Tokens, or telling the user to never remove the network plug
> from the wall to prevent said Tokens from falling out. Oh blessed days
> of Token- Ring :-)
Even better if you can get the fool down on his hands and knees to
find the token on the office floor. Sometimes you can get whole
offices involved in the search for the lost token and arguing about
whose corner it must be in. IIRC, there is a Dilbert strip about
searching for the lost token. Somewhere I have the "official memo"
asking people to unplug their phones so we can de-fluff the phone
lines. As soon as the site fire-alarm test sounded they were supposed
to blow down their end of the phone cable to blow the fluff into the
exchange room to be swept up. The memo was dated April 1st.
One I did in my SysOp days: the laser printer jammed and "evil Edna"
(an older secretary who never fully adapted to the VAX network - come
to think of it, she had trouble adapting to an *electric* typewriter)
pulled the network cable out of the printer. I think her theory was
"unplug it and plug it back in again". Anyway, we SysOps convinced
her that individual characters are sent down the wire and there must
be a pile of spilled characters on the floor. The cleaners were not
particularly diligent in the printer areas, so there was a mess of
spilled toner and paper dust on the floor. We didn't think evil Edna
would actually try to scoop the stuff into the network cable.
Unfortunately her boss had to back her up and that was the end of the
evil Edna pranks (which was a pity considering the amount of computer
kit she managed to break).
The only thing ObSMN about these pranks was the company's line of
business - one of the good old Marconi companies which made shipborne
systems and radar systems back in the 1970s and 1980s. Considering
the number of fools employed, sometimes I was amazed anything got
shipped!
Tom Vart
"Jack Linthicum" <jackli...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:7164002b.04021...@posting.google.com...
> I used to work with a guy named M.T. Mooring, he was in the Naval Reserves
too.
I'll warrant that he took some ribbing?
I served with a guy on my first ship, who's surname was SEAMAN, (Junior
Seaman SEAMAN as he was then), He then progressed through the rates as
follows:
Seaman (SONAR) SEAMAN
Able Seaman (Sonar) SEAMAN
Leading Seaman (Sonar) SEAMAN
At which point he specialised - some say for the joke value:
Leading Seaman (Seaman) SEAMAN.
Strangely enough he is known throughout the fleet by the nickmane SMEGGERS!
He is now Chief Petty Officer (Seaman)............SEAMAN, still serving.
Tom
Tom Vart
"Jack Linthicum" <jackli...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:7164002b.04021...@posting.google.com...
> I used to work with a guy named M.T. Mooring, he was in the Naval Reserves
too.
On my last ship - HMS York - the Master at Arms surname was BATES, poor soul
(or anyone stupid enough to correctly address him!)
We have the makings of a crew for the good ship venus!
Tom
Jack Love
My Dad was variously, Private Love don't know if what his ending rank
in the Army was, 2cd Class Love....through
Chief Love.
>Tom
>
>
George Shirley
> In article <mdjk20plehms0oe0c...@4ax.com>,
> Jack Love <jackxx...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>
>>My Dad was variously, Private Love don't know if what his ending rank
>>in the Army was, 2cd Class Love....through
>>Chief Love.
>>
>
>
> During my Annapolis entry physical, one of the many doctors
> I had to see was named... Dr. Blood.
>
> -Geoff
>
>
A Navy dentist at Pax River in 1958 was Dr. Bright. He caught hell over
that.
George
Jim Watt
<juergen.nie...@arcor.de> wrote:
>Jim Watt <jim...@aol.no_way> wrote:
>
>> You want a MAU as a reminder? I was thinking of putting
>> mine on e-bay along with a box of those bisexual plugs.
>
>Thanks, but I've got half a dozen old IBM switches and more than
>hundred Token-Ring-cards in my cupboard :-)
5250 emulation cards? We threw out the reel of IBM cable
last week, it is probably making its way to Morocco for house
wiring now.
b...@thebuilders.com
> Some from my long list, not all naval related:-
<snip>
I'm afraid these two are real ;-)
> Podger, for aligning holes
It's a device shaped like an awl,
available in various sizes
usually made by grinding-down a broken screwdriver.
Used as a lever to align two or more holed items,
pipe-flanges, bracketry, sheet-metalwork, etc.
>Rubber mallet
Used for fitting anechoic tiles, fibreglass panels, woodwork, etc.
and possibly panes of glass/perspex.
> Stop bits for the ethernet
AKA Termination resistors (10base2).
ATB
--
b...@thebuilders.com
Jack Love
Oak Harbor had a civilian MD named Coffin (-Quart) when I was a kid.
Always wondered how she ever got a patient.
>George
Derek Lyons
>>Rubber mallet
>
>Used for fitting anechoic tiles, fibreglass panels, woodwork, etc.
>and possibly panes of glass/perspex.
(Ob SMN) Also used on submarines to pound on hatches and deckplates
topside when ensuring they are secured prior to diving.
Andrew Chaplin
Thanks for the inspiration. I have met a target of opportunity, and he
is my boss. :^)
--
Andrew Chaplin
SIT MIHI GLADIUS SICUT SANCTO MARTINO
(If you're going to e-mail me, you'll have to get "yourfinger." out.)
Moggycat
> On Tue, 10 Feb 2004 19:37:00 -0000, "Sarah Hotdesking" <shart...@MAWAYshartwell.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > Some from my long list, not all naval related:-
> <snip>
>
> I'm afraid these two are real ;-)
>
> > Podger, for aligning holes
>
> > Stop bits for the ethernet
> AKA Termination resistors (10base2).
I think some of the fools errands are context sensitive :-) For
example, I can get green or red lamp oil for my decorative oil lamp at
home. I used a rubber mallet (of a sort) for panel-beating when I
straightened out the pranged rear-end of my car after someone failed
to notice I was stationary. Despite that, we still use "rubber
mallet" as a fool's errand and an epithet for certain individuals (as
much use as a rubber mallet, as much use as a chocolate teapot etc).
Re "stop bits":-
"Pieces of seven, pieces of seven. Polly want a stop-bit"
---> Parroty error
Moggycat
>
> > Some from my long list, not all naval related:-
> <snip>
>
> I'm afraid these two are real ;-)
<snip>
I also found out that in the clothing industry, a "long stand" is a
genuine item for a 5-thread overlocker industrial sewing machine!
While a "runaround" is, of course, a colloquial term for a (usually
old and somewhat battered, but still reliable) car.
Another one from the Dutch:- Junior bank clerks are sent by bike to
fetch a coupon rake from another office. The coupon rake is a heavy
and unwieldy piece of iron, something impossible to cycle with. Those
who are wise to the trick will use a taxi.
And what about MIL-TFD-1111 ? The international standard someone is
sent to fetch/read/research when they bodge a job - Make It Like - The
F***ing Drawing - 4 Ones (for once).
Moggycat
>
> Also called a "Chad bomb"
>
We have a version of that in the 'Beast. Part fill one 35mm film
canister with chads/punchouts. Put lid back on. Lift lid just enough
so you can squirt "freezer spray" into the container. Put lid back on
tightly. Leave on target's desk in unobtrusive place.
Depending on office temperature, in around 10 minutes the freezer
spray (no longer under pressure) will have expanded enough to pop the
top off the film canister and paper punchouts explode everywhere. The
confetti effect is amusing, as is the target finding punchouts in his
work area forever after.
> Almost as good as the 'water-filled desk.'
Did something like that in a hospital pathology lab. First thing in
morning, target had tendency to pull his drawer (wide shallow drawer)
out suddenly, grunt when whatever he sought was not visible and then
slam drawer shut. Early one morning we emptied drawer, lined it with
plastic sheet and carefully filled it with water before sliding drawer
shut.
Target arrived, viciusly yanked out drawer, water went first to back
of drawer and before target could register what was happening, a tidal
wave went over his legs. The rest of us were wearing white rubber
boots or other protective clothing - something which raises no
suspicions when working in a path lab - and were able to view the
events at close quarters while remaining dry. Target never mistreated
desk drawers again.
Pattersonrr
One fine day while on WESTPAC in 78 on the USS O'Callahan (FF1051) at about
1030, I was in the ET shop when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door
and discovered a rather large, slow looking STG3 who asked if he could look
through our hardware drawer. I granted him permission and he soon located what
he was looking for.
As he was leaving, he mentioned, "I don't know if I am getting the run around,
but I was also sent after a tube that had a long name."
When he mentioned the part about not knowing if he was getting the run around,
I casually asked if fallopian tube sounded familiar.
His face lit up and he replied, "Yes, that's it!"
I informed him that we did not have any in the shop. However, if he were to go
to radio central and ask for ET1 Rowe, he should know where they were. The
STG3 went happily on his way and I returned to the interupted task figuring
that was the end of it.
Later that day, we were having a division meeting in the shop when it was
interupted by a knock on the door. It was the same STG3 who complained that he
got the wrong tube. Rowe took the lighthouse tube and exchanged it for a 12AT7
vacuum tube, telling the poor kid that there were two types of fallopian tubes.
It turned out that he went and talked with Rowe, who sent him to the FT's, who
sent him to the IC shop, who sent him to the ...
TJ
<abch...@yourfinger.rogers.com> wrote:
>TJ wrote:
>>
>> LRPCs = Little Round Paper Circles.
<<<CLIPPY>>>
>
>Thanks for the inspiration. I have met a target of opportunity, and he
>is my boss. :^)
You are MOST welcome. Please, tell us how it turns out! It's years
since I've done this ! ! ! ;-D
TJ
William Hamblen
> Despite that, we still use "rubber
> mallet" as a fool's errand and an epithet for certain individuals (as
> much use as a rubber mallet, as much use as a chocolate teapot etc).
There's also the mythical punishment of sailors being told off to chip
paint with rubber hammers.
TJ
>TJ <din...@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<gmvi205cgtpervmbp...@4ax.com>...
>
>>
>> Also called a "Chad bomb"
>>
>
>We have a version of that in the 'Beast. Part fill one 35mm film
>canister with chads/punchouts. Put lid back on. Lift lid just enough
>so you can squirt "freezer spray" into the container. Put lid back on
>tightly. Leave on target's desk in unobtrusive place.
>
>Depending on office temperature, in around 10 minutes the freezer
>spray (no longer under pressure) will have expanded enough to pop the
>top off the film canister and paper punchouts explode everywhere. The
>confetti effect is amusing, as is the target finding punchouts in his
>work area forever after.
OH man! I like this! Wish I could see this for real! ;-D
>
>> Almost as good as the 'water-filled desk.'
>
>Did something like that in a hospital pathology lab. First thing in
>morning, target had tendency to pull his drawer (wide shallow drawer)
>out suddenly, grunt when whatever he sought was not visible and then
>slam drawer shut. Early one morning we emptied drawer, lined it with
>plastic sheet and carefully filled it with water before sliding drawer
>shut.
>
>Target arrived, viciusly yanked out drawer, water went first to back
>of drawer and before target could register what was happening, a tidal
>wave went over his legs. The rest of us were wearing white rubber
>boots or other protective clothing - something which raises no
>suspicions when working in a path lab - and were able to view the
>events at close quarters while remaining dry. Target never mistreated
>desk drawers again.
Yup! That's the ticket! I once explained this to a co-worker who was
involved in a stupid one-up contest with another guy. In this case, he
filled a deep drawer.
Getting the water out was tricky.
While I'm on it. . .
These two were rather good. We had some construction going on in the
parking lot and some parts were marked off with POLICE LINE tape.
They borrowed some traffic cones and connected them with borrowed tape
and put it around some poor guy's car and printed a very official
looking sign: POLICE TEST: DO NOT DISTURB. The guy came out after work
to find his car marked off and was of a gullible disposition. Finally
worked up the nerve to call security to ask when he could have his car
back.
Their usual trip was to cover each other's cars with yellow post it
notes. From a distance, the effec was of a large yellow, 4-wheeled
fish with loose scales.
Being temporary help in that section of the campus, they had no idea
what I drove. I'd make references to my 4x4 and would catch them
looking in windows to see if my name was on a book or so. One got
reported to security. Never did find my Cultlass Sierra! ;-)
HE HE! Hey if either of you are reading this it was a 1990 red sierra!
TJ
TJ
Aren't we describing what some folks call a hubcap hammer? I've got
something very like a rubber mallet hanging in my garage.
TJ
Mark Test
news:20040212200353...@mb-m18.aol.com...
> This here is another entry in the "This is no SH*t" log.
>
> One fine day while on WESTPAC in 78 on the USS O'Callahan (FF1051) at
about
> 1030, I was in the ET shop when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the
door
> and discovered a rather large, slow looking STG3 who asked if he could
look
> through our hardware drawer. I granted him permission and he soon located
what
> he was looking for.
It would have to be an STG........very good story though.
Mark / STGCS (SW)
--
"I know in my heart and my brain that America ain't what's wrong in the
world."
---Donald Rumsfeld---
Jim Watt
>Aren't we describing what some folks call a hubcap hammer? I've got
>something very like a rubber mallet hanging in my garage.
Rubber hammers/mallets are real enough - and useful too. Theres
a couple in my tool box. Good for closing plastic trunking.
George Shirley
Another good one is to take a short length of surgical rubber tubing,
tie a knot in one end then pressure the length up with tap water. Tap
water in this area is usually at about 30 psig so the tubing swells
considerably. Have someone help you and tie the knotted end inside
someones locker, then pinch the open end in the door and cut off any
tubing that protrudes. Next person to open the locker gets sprayed from
head to foot. I've seen some tubing swell to about 3 inches in diameter
just on tap water. Sophomoric but that's what my friends and I were back
then.
George
Fred J. McCall
:We still send 'Beast apprentices for Long Weights, Peedo Files and AC
:Batteries. Presumably there were/are naval versions of fools'
:errands, though I've only collected a few examples: bucket of steam
:(which someone actually managed to do), yard of shoreline, tuning pipe
:for foghorn and compass wrench. The rest I've collected were very
:generic e.g. glass hammer, left handed screwdriver. Can anyone recall
:specifically naval fools' errands?
Stanchion calibrator. Sound powered phone batteries. Frapping
saddle.
Fred J. McCall
:- BT Punch. Need to rethink this one, but is was popular on my first two
:ships w/ 1200 lb. plants, and huge knuckle-dragging BTs.
Yeah, I recall that one, too. But then I was on a ship with a 1200
psi plant.
Jack Love
wrote:
I always particularly liked the 'bounceless' hammers our techs used to
put the circuit boards into recalcitrant slots. Lead shot filled,
only one blow to the object per swing.