OT: Cheeta speaks
Jack Linthicum
Quote: "What I really love is painting. I'm good too. Westfall offers
my paintings for sale on the Internet-$135 a throw, including shipping
and handling-and he does land-office business. The money helps fund
his nonprofit sanctuary.
I guess you'd call my stuff abstract. Some of my canvases recall the
late Pollock, some are straight-up Kandinsky, with a dash of Brice
Marden. I like to say my style is always evolving. I never get tired
of that joke."
http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-cheeta16apr22,0,3519768.story?coll=la-home-magazine
>From the Los Angeles Times
Cheeta speaks
He's outlived them all. Tarzan. Trigger. Ronald Reagan. Now, retired
in Palm Springs, the world's oldest chimp gets some stuff off his
chest.
By J.R. Moehringer
April 22, 2007
What can I say-I'm a star. That's why this guy's staring at me, right?
I seem familiar, and not just because I did 50 movies, including those
classic "Tarzan" flicks of the 1930s. Maybe he saw me on one of the
morning shows. Maybe he read about me in Guinness World Records-oldest
living chimpanzee. Or maybe he recognizes me in a way he can't quite
put into words?
Whatever, I know why he's here. I just celebrated my 75th birthday,
which is a flat-out miracle for a chimp. In the wild we rarely reach
40. In captivity 50 is a feat. So I'm like the Methuselah of Monkeys.
The George Burns of Hollywood Apes.
More important, I'm one of the lucky ones. Hollywood chimps generally
don't fare well. We're like child stars-more likely to meet with
tragedy when fully grown.
It's not our fault. Case in point: Those Hollywood chimps who busted
out of a sanctuary near Bakersfield two years ago, then bit off a
man's fingers and nose before being shot to death. You have to wonder
what made them snap like that.
Everyone assumes that Hollywood animals are treated humanely, 24-7,
thanks to that ubiquitous disclaimer: "No animals were hurt in the
making of this blah blah." Few people consider what happens to animals
after the movie wraps. Believe me, retirement is the next great
challenge for animal-rights activists, because if you're a Hollywood
animal, retirement can be hell.
Hence the recent parade of visitors to my cage. People want to
celebrate the rare success story I represent-a Hollywood chimp who's
retired, fat and happy. That famous chimp broad, Jane Goodall? She
came by for a look-see last fall. Also, the mayor of Palm Springs,
Ronald Oden? There's talk he'll declare my birthday to be Cheeta Day.
(Cheeta-that's my stage name. Real name's Jiggs. Don't ask.)
And now here comes this dopey-looking reporter. How do I know he's a
reporter? Check out those clothes. And that silly notebook. Look at
him peer into my cage, that expectant look on his hairless face, as if
I might blurt out a few words. Get a grip, bud, I'm an ape, not a
Muppet.
The 62-year-old fellow with the reporter is Dan Westfall, my trainer.
Westfall used to be a singer-comedian, back in his salad days. That's
why we get along, because we're both retired showmen, living the quiet
life in this primate sanctuary Westfall runs out of his house, on this
otherwise normal suburban street in Palm Springs. (The neighbors don't
seem to mind. "They like it," Westfall says. In 19 years, he insists,
he's not had one complaint about noise.) The other reason Westfall and
I click is that, as you can see, the man doesn't say much. He's a
little like Tarzan-one-word responses, three-word sentences. Between
my nonverbal nature and Westfall's sparse answers, I wonder how in the
world this reporter is going to write his story.
Besides me there are five other primates in cages behind Westfall's
pool, all retired showbiz hands, including Jeeter, my grandson. Jeeter
loves the water, even swims in Westfall's pool, whereas I've got more
important things to do than perfect my backstroke. I'm a Renaissance
chimp. I watch TV. (Cartoons mostly.) I look through books. I play
piano. "He's getting ready to do a CD," Westfall says. "You know Buddy
Greco? Buddy's producing his CD."
What I really love is painting. I'm good too. Westfall offers my
paintings for sale on the Internet-$135 a throw, including shipping
and handling-and he does land-office business. The money helps fund
his nonprofit sanctuary.
I guess you'd call my stuff abstract. Some of my canvases recall the
late Pollock, some are straight-up Kandinsky, with a dash of Brice
Marden. I like to say my style is always evolving. I never get tired
of that joke.
Westfall's uncle, Tony Gentry, was the trainer who first "discovered"
me. Actually, snatched me from the Liberian jungle back in 1932.
Imagine: There I was, 6 months old, minding my own beeswax, when
suddenly through the underbrush comes this mob of Liberians, led by
this Hollywood trainer. I wasn't into wearing diapers yet, but I wish
I had been, if you get my drift.
Next thing I know, I'm thousands of miles from home, missing my
mother, wearing silly get-ups, taking guff from some sap in a
director's chair. I'm not beefing, mind you. How many chimps can say
they worked with all the showbiz greats? Maureen O'Sullivan. Rex
Harrison. Ronald Reagan.
My breakout role was opposite Johnny Weissmuller, a.k.a. Tarzan. I was
the comic relief. I'd stagger around, do something silly, pull a long
face-you know, break up the tension. Or else I'd stir things up, cause
a little mischief. That shtick won me most of my fans. I still get
letters, e-mails, and you wouldn't believe the number of people
buzzing on the Internet about my birthday.
But all good things come to an end. I called it a career in 1967,
after we wrapped "Doctor Dolittle." I'd had a good run. Longer than
most. Typically, when a Hollywood chimp reaches 7 or 8, he's too
strong, too aggressive to work in showbiz any longer. He'll live
another 30 years, at least, but he can't be controlled, so he's cast
aside.
<more>
Eugene Griessel
>http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-cheeta16apr22,0,3519768.story?coll=la-home-magazine
>>From the Los Angeles Times
>Cheeta speaks
>He's outlived them all. Tarzan. Trigger. Ronald Reagan. Now, retired
>in Palm Springs, the world's oldest chimp gets some stuff off his
>chest.
>By J.R. Moehringer
Enough to bring a glint of ocular moisture to the toughest old
cynic....
Eugene L Griessel
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Jack Linthicum
> Jack Linthicum <jacklinthi...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> >http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-cheeta16a...
> >>From the Los Angeles Times
> >Cheeta speaks
> >He's outlived them all. Tarzan. Trigger. Ronald Reagan. Now, retired
> >in Palm Springs, the world's oldest chimp gets some stuff off his
> >chest.
> >By J.R. Moehringer
>
> Enough to bring a glint of ocular moisture to the toughest old
> cynic....
>
> Eugene L Griessel
>
> A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Yes, you will notice he carefully avoids discussing the fact that he
was never able to direct.
Eugene Griessel
>Yes, you will notice he carefully avoids discussing the fact that he
>was never able to direct.
Sadly a lot of directors aren't able to either - doesn't stop them
from trying!
Eugene L Griessel
Are Computers Male or Female? Some Have Joysticks, Does that Count???
La N
"Jack Linthicum" <jackli...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:1177330386....@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
I heard that in his more frisky youth he creeped out the actress who played
Jane.
It is sad the stories of animals used and discarded. I wonder whatever
happened to "Bubbles", the chimp that Michael Jackson used to parade around.
Jack Linthicum
> "Jack Linthicum" <jacklinthi...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
http://www.paramountcomedy.com/comedy/watn/article.aspx?id=37
La N
Ahhh ... so he was removed from Neverland Ranch for "becoming violent".
I think *I* would turn violent too if I were a young lad being hit on by MJ
...%)
Eugene Griessel
>I think *I* would turn violent too if I were a young lad being hit on by MJ
Is this the time to drag out the old joke about what's the difference
between a supermarket carrier bag and MJ?
Eugene L Griessel
Conscience is that inner voice that warns us someone may be looking.
La N
"Eugene Griessel" <eugene@dynagen..co..za> wrote in message
news:462cb39c...@news.uunet.co.za...
> "La N" <nilita20...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>>I think *I* would turn violent too if I were a young lad being hit on by
>>MJ
>
> Is this the time to drag out the old joke about what's the difference
> between a supermarket carrier bag and MJ?
>
Umm ... I'll bite ......;)
La N
"La N" <nilita20...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Yw2Xh.30457$GV5.4693@edtnps89...
Speaking of *biting* .... heheheh .... I'm just about finished writing the
sonnet commissioned for Mr. X who is currently traveling abroad, and it
should be ready for him before he returns CONUS ETA 10 days.
And as a special treat for the regs of smn I am working on a little piece
called "Nautica Erotica" ... stay tuned ... <snicker>
- ni
Eugene Griessel
The one is made of plastic and is dangerous to children - and the
other one you carry your shopping home in. (May not work outside of
seffrica where our shopping bags are un-eco friendly plastic......)
Eugene L Griessel
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
Eugene Griessel
La N
"Eugene Griessel" <eugene@dynagen..co..za> wrote in message
Good one! Plastic bags are used here but strongly discouraged. Heavy fines
in my part of canuckistan if you even throw litter on the highways!
>
> Eugene L Griessel
>
> You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
"Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it."
---Salvador Dali
La N
"Eugene Griessel" <eugene@dynagen..co..za> wrote in message
I'm counting on that ... ;)
>
> Eugene L Griessel
>
> You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
"If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep
with a mosquito in the room."
---Unknown
Vince
HMMM
a challenge
William's longship, a gift from his queen
A finer ship never was seen
Mathilda's eleven
Kept William in heaven
As he docked and un docked in between
Vince
La N
"Vince" <fir...@firelaw.us> wrote in message
news:dsGdnf-_h4JSKrHb...@comcast.com...
LOL - that's better than mine is turning out to be! I gotta get crackin'
and fine tune my product ...%)
Vince
Actually for a two minute production I'm quite proud of this one
Vince
Eugene Griessel
>Good one! Plastic bags are used here but strongly discouraged. Heavy fines
>in my part of canuckistan if you even throw litter on the highways!
Yes - here too. Surcharge on every one purchased. Eco types like me
go shopping with our own bags. As for heavy fines on litterers - you
gotta catch them first. SAPS has trouble keeping up with the
murderers and has no time to go around arresting litterers.
Someone recently was bemoaning the high murder rate in Scotland(?) was
it. Only about a factor of 20 lower that these parts. Here it is
easier (and safer) to kill any witnesses to your crime. Few weeks ago
some guys broke into a house a few streets away. Stole 4 bottles of
wine and killed the housemaid - no witness to their theft left to
testify.
Eugene L Griessel
Windows: Just another pain in the glass.
Jack Linthicum
>From a review of Carl Hiaason's novel Sick Puppy:
Have you ever been annoyed by seeing someone throw trash from a car
window into a pristine environment?
If yes, what did you do? Chances are that you muttered a few words and
soon forgot the incident.
Twilly Spree goes into total road rage in such situations (after first
stopping to pick up the trash). In this waking daydream, Twilly
pursues corrupt lobbyist Palmer Stoat hoping to cure him of his
littering. In the process, Twilly finds that Palmer is a greater
threat to the environment than through his littering.
Mother Nature, Stoat's dog (renamed McGuinn rather than Boodle) and
Stoat's wife team up to help Twilly right the wrongs that Stoat is
pursuing.
The satire concerning corrupt politicians and developers is pretty
extreme, so be prepared for broad humor. In their quest for power and
the fast buck, these men end up acquiring the counterfeit version of
everything they seek . . . and usually are too obtuse to tell the
difference between counterfeit and the real thing. At the same time,
they are totally oblivious to the natural beauty around them.
Twilly and the environmentalists come across as a modern-day anti-
litter S.W.A.T. unit. Their lives are crazed by the indifference to
nature that they see around them.
Sick Puppy is a wonderful choice title for this book, because the dog
is the least sick puppy in this book.
I was tempted, though, to give the book five stars anyway for the
ending. It's quite imaginative.
So what will you do the next time you see someone littering?
I had a friend whose apartment was robbed. They left his collection of
fine wines and took the cheap gin and bourbon he served his guests.
La N
> >
>
> I had a friend whose apartment was robbed. They left his collection of
> fine wines and took the cheap gin and bourbon he served his guests.
>
Many years ago when I was living in a basement apartment one night I came
home from clubbing with friends and saw an intruder trying to get through my
kitchen window. Actually I just saw one of his legs as he was trying to
maneuver his way on to the floor. I took a cast iron frying pan and smacked
him good. He went limping and whimpering off into the shadows.
I refused to live in a basement suite after that episode.
La N
> >
>>From a review of Carl Hiaason's novel Sick Puppy:
>
I've heard so much about Hiaason without having read him.
I think I might just send him a story line for a future book ...%)
Nahhhh ... nobody would believe it. Har! ... <wink wink>
- ni
Jack Linthicum
> "Jack Linthicum" <jacklinthi...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
Read one, Sick Puppy is good as is Skinny Dip.
La N
I'll see if the local library carries his books. Else I'll have to get
through inter-library loan.
Jack Linthicum
> "Jack Linthicum" <jacklinthi...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
>
> news:1177340329.9...@o5g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > On Apr 23, 10:51 am, "La N" <nilita2004NOS...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >> "Jack Linthicum" <jacklinthi...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
>
> >>news:1177337849....@p77g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
>
> >> >>From a review of Carl Hiaason's novel Sick Puppy:
>
> >> I've heard so much about Hiaason without having read him.
>
> >> I think I might just send him a story line for a future book ...%)
>
> >> Nahhhh ... nobody would believe it. Har! ... <wink wink>
>
> >> - ni
>
> > Read one, Sick Puppy is good as is Skinny Dip.
>
> I'll see if the local library carries his books. Else I'll have to get
> through inter-library loan.
Probably in the "mysteries" section, even though they aren't.
La N.
wrote:
> Probably in the "mysteries" section, even though they aren't.-
I just checked the online database for our local Library, and it
appears they have a helluvalot of his books in stock, including Sick
Puppy and Skinny Dip. I'll go down later and pick 'em up.
- ni
TMOliver
"La N." <nilit...@yahoo.com> wrote
>
> I just checked the online database for our local Library, and it
> appears they have a helluvalot of his books in stock, including Sick
> Puppy and Skinny Dip. I'll go down later and pick 'em up.
>
reporter for a Miami newspaper, a great collector of Florida lore with a
good sense of humor (although a bit cynical about the evils of capitalism).
There's something to be said for reading them in chorological order, as one
ought to do with Burke who gives us Cajun Country and his sleuth/doer of
good, Dave Robichaux.
TMO
Jack Linthicum
> "La N." <nilita2...@yahoo.com> wrote
Except the last one, Nature Girl, don't bother it is the left over
pieces of several of his books glued together. If you can find them
his newspaper columns are damn near as funny as the stories, since
that's where he gets people like the 'drive by housing inspector', the
guy who builds an exclusive fishing resort on an illegal toxic waste
dump, etc. Kick Ass, Paradise Screwed, Team Rodent, two kids books and
some he did with others on the web site.
http://www.carlhiaasen.com/books.html
La N
My Library had 'em all. I picked up Sick Puppy.
Ya know? I don't usually read fiction, but I like smart witty writers of
anecdotes loosely based on real people. I wish I could write like these
types.
Some time ago I used to read a female writer of true crime stories. She
covered the Miami beat. For the life of me, I can't remember her name.
Anyone?
- ni