Ustafish Morale Officer

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MSmith5048

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Apr 3, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/3/98
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I would like to volunteer for the post of morale officer aboard the Ustafish. I
have already prepared a programme of activities to keep the crew amused during
long cruises:-

'Comedy Hour': Thursday nite amateur stand-up featuring posts from Rob
Williams, held in the brewery/former missile compartment.

Saturday Sod's Opera, featuring Blackbeard as Widow Twankey and Paul Adams as
Cinderella. I myself take the lead role as Charley's Aunt. Torpedo Room.

Sunday: Special extended length showing of risible moments from 'Red October'
and 'Crimsom Tide' (4 hours), followed by documentary on the sex life of Rob
Williams (0.2 seconds). TVs in all messes.

Tuesday night: 'Biscuit Game' - for'ard clue-stick dispenser. Any volunteers
for the buscuit?

I am, of course, open to suggestions from all crew members.

Mike

D.C.KOH

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Apr 3, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/3/98
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MSmith5048 wrote:
>
> I would like to volunteer for the post of morale officer aboard the > Ustafish.
>
We need a medical officer too. Oh wait, it's still Dr. Ruth isn't it?

> I have already prepared a programme of activities to keep the crew
> amused during long cruises:-
>
> 'Comedy Hour': Thursday nite amateur stand-up featuring posts from Rob
> Williams, held in the brewery/former missile compartment.
>
We should add MKSheppard for a more Atlantic flavour...

> Saturday Sod's Opera, featuring Blackbeard as Widow Twankey and Paul Adams as
> Cinderella. I myself take the lead role as Charley's Aunt. Torpedo Room.
>

I suggest setting aside one night a week for the Zulu Dance.

> Sunday: Special extended length showing of risible moments from 'Red October'
> and 'Crimsom Tide' (4 hours), followed by documentary on the sex life of Rob
> Williams (0.2 seconds). TVs in all messes.
>

For positive motivation, we need home-videos of the various runs-ashore.

> Tuesday night: 'Biscuit Game' - for'ard clue-stick dispenser. Any
> volunteers for the buscuit?
>

Is this biscuit game the one that I think it is? The one in which 'baby
gravy' from all participants is liberally dosed on said biscuit?

> I am, of course, open to suggestions from all crew members.
>

How about 100 ounces of beer without taking a leak? Or a Melaka devil's
curry and durian eating contest?

Dan

Pierce Nichols

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Apr 3, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/3/98
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MSmith5048 wrote:

> I am, of course, open to suggestions from all crew members.

How about monthly kook-offs between MKS, Rob Williams, and any other
hormonally imbalanced 12-yr olds who stumble in?

-p

Paul J. Adam

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Apr 4, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/4/98
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In article <352571...@columbia.edu>, Pierce Nichols
<pn...@columbia.edu> writes

> How about monthly kook-offs between MKS, Rob Williams, and any other
>hormonally imbalanced 12-yr olds who stumble in?

We could always use them for gladiatorial contests. Since they seem so
keen on antisocial behaviour, they can hack each other to death for our
entertainment, and we can use those battles to test the lethality of
various configurations of Clue Stick.

--
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and
praiseworthy...

Paul J. Adam pa...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk


Steve Cheng

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Apr 4, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/4/98
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Paul J. Adam wrote:
>
> In article <352571...@columbia.edu>, Pierce Nichols
> <pn...@columbia.edu> writes
> > How about monthly kook-offs between MKS, Rob Williams, and any other
> >hormonally imbalanced 12-yr olds who stumble in?
>
> We could always use them for gladiatorial contests. Since they seem so
> keen on antisocial behaviour, they can hack each other to death for our
> entertainment, and we can use those battles to test the lethality of
> various configurations of Clue Stick.

Throw them in the missile room and let them go at it ala Hunt for Red
October? It's
got plenty of space and lots of things to duck behind. Although I think
the clue-stick
idea is better than giving them sidearms from the weapons locker; it
would last longer
and create less damage than nine millimeter rounds bouncing
around...just make sure they
stay alive for the next month's round...
-Steve

Pierce Nichols

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Apr 5, 1998, 4:00:00 AM4/5/98
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Steve Cheng wrote:

> Throw them in the missile room and let them go at it ala Hunt for Red
> October? It's
> got plenty of space and lots of things to duck behind. Although I think
> the clue-stick
> idea is better than giving them sidearms from the weapons locker; it
> would last longer
> and create less damage than nine millimeter rounds bouncing
> around...just make sure they
> stay alive for the next month's round...

I like it. But we should issue 9mm pistols for when we have special
guest kooks. I wonder if we could book a triple bill with Goober,
Boursky, and Spitty going at it with our own local kooks. Maybe we could
even book Archimedes Plutonium. OTOT, he might just break open one of
the missile tubes in hopes of getting the plutonium he needs to test his
latest hair-brained hypothesis.

-p

MSmith5048

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Apr 5, 1998, 4:00:00 AM4/5/98
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>Is this biscuit game the one that I think it is? The one in which 'baby
>gravy' from all participants is liberally dosed on said biscuit?

Indeed it is. Don't know how well this famous naval tradition will go down (bad
choice of words) in today's female-freindly navy, though.

Mike

D.C.KOH

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Apr 6, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/6/98
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A lovely game it was too. First particpated in the game at the ripe old
age of 18 but IIRC it was referred then as 'soggy biscuit'. Guess it
depends on the amount of 'gravy' used...

Dan

Steve Lehman

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Apr 6, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/6/98
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MSmith5048 wrote:
>
> >Is this biscuit game the one that I think it is? The one in which 'baby
> >gravy' from all participants is liberally dosed on said biscuit?
>
> Indeed it is. Don't know how well this famous naval tradition will go down (bad
> choice of words) in today's female-freindly navy, though.
>
> Mike


Its rumored that it will become a "mixed doubles" team sport...

sl

MSmith5048

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Apr 6, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/6/98
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>A lovely game it was too. First particpated in the game at the ripe old
>age of 18 but IIRC it was referred then as 'soggy biscuit'. Guess it
>depends on the amount of 'gravy' used..

Did you win?

Mike

BlackBeard

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Apr 6, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/6/98
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In article <199804031851...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
msmit...@aol.com (MSmith5048) wrote:

>I would like to volunteer for the post of morale officer aboard the Ustafish. I


>have already prepared a programme of activities to keep the crew amused during
>long cruises:-


Please change that to "All of the QUALIFIED crew members". Dinks ain't
got the time nor the need for entertainment.

>
>Sunday: Special extended length showing of risible moments from 'Red October'
>and 'Crimsom Tide' (4 hours),

4 hours? I get maybe 2 minutes from CT and an hour or so from HFRO.

BlackBeard
Submarines once, Submarines twice...
Trying to reason with hurricane season, in the Mojave desert.

D.C.KOH

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Apr 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/7/98
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I will just say this. Even if one 'survives' the first game without a
snack (beginner's luck), the law of averages soon catch up. Especially
when every 'rugby training camp' in those days included said event...

Dan

loki

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Apr 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/7/98
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BlackBeard wrote:
>
> In article <199804031851...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
> msmit...@aol.com (MSmith5048) wrote:
>
> >I would like to volunteer for the post of morale officer aboard the Ustafish. I
> >have already prepared a programme of activities to keep the crew amused during
> >long cruises:-
>
> Please change that to "All of the QUALIFIED crew members". Dinks ain't
> got the time nor the need for entertainment.

Hmmm... I'd considered applying for the position of Medical Officer on
the grounds that having spent a career in healthcare I'm completely
unshockable and besides, I'm cuter than Dr. Ruth. <sigh> Perhaps
Morale Officer would be more fun though. Oh, and someone suggested
perhaps the Dragon Lady has been AWOL a bit too long and a backup may be
needed.

Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...

> >Sunday: Special extended length showing of risible moments from 'Red October'
> >and 'Crimsom Tide' (4 hours),
>
> 4 hours? I get maybe 2 minutes from CT and an hour or so from HFRO.

Hmmm... I'll have to watch HFRO. I read the book but never watched the
movie.

Loki - batting her eyelashes and looking sideways...

Steve Atkatz

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Apr 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/7/98
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On Tue, 07 Apr 1998 15:03:01 -0500, loki <lo...@inlink.com> fumbled
with the keyboard & wrote:

>
>Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...
>

Ok Doc, why don't you step right over here into the chief's quarters
and I'll personnally give you a crash course.

>Loki - batting her eyelashes and looking sideways...

A to Z
***************************************
Age and Treachery will always prevail
Over Youth and Vigor. DBF!!!

loki

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Apr 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/7/98
to

Steve Atkatz wrote:

> On Tue, 07 Apr 1998 15:03:01 -0500, loki <lo...@inlink.com> fumbled
> with the keyboard & wrote:

> >Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...

> Ok Doc, why don't you step right over here into the chief's quarters
> and I'll personnally give you a crash course.

I get the distinct feeling that I already know a lot about the subject
you happen to have in mind. I'll further bet that I could teach *you* a
thing or two on that one. <laugh>

Now, if you really wish to teach me about things that are not attached
to your body (nor meant to be used on mine) then we might as well stay
here in public, doncha think?

Loki

Prof. Vincent Brannigan

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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loki wrote:
>
>
> Hmmm... I'd considered applying for the position of Medical Officer on
> the grounds that having spent a career in healthcare I'm completely
> unshockable and besides, I'm cuter than Dr. Ruth. <sigh>

I ve just returned from misleading the Europeans on american law. But I
see there may be some slight confusion here. I assure you that Dr.
Ruth is highly competitive in the "cute" department. However given the
nature of the crew there is always room for qualified individuals in the
health care area, particularly those not easily shocked. I brought home
copies of the BMJ article on The Caerphilly study and Dr. Rtuh will
prepare a synopsis.

Perhaps
> Morale Officer would be more fun though. Oh, and someone suggested
> perhaps the Dragon Lady has been AWOL a bit too long and a backup may be
> needed.
>

> Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...
>

Subs are easy. Air on the inside, water on the outside and stay out of
the way of the people who know how to make the little propeller thing on
the stern go round and round, and also keep the sub from sinking or
getting lost. These people are referred to as "qualified". More
technically they are the "line component" All others are staff, who
have a lower order of qualification. Staff keep the line happy. There
is some dispute over the SECDET and the Brewmaster. Some think the
partying function is the main reason for existance so they are line. Im
not sure but certainly would not argue with such folks.

Been some dispute over a motto. a motto should help our primary
productive activity, intimidating ships on the high seas.
I prefer ODERUNT DUM METUANT (let them hate, so long as they fear). It
was the motto of the Emperor Caligula, who threw a mean party and was
known to Horatio Hornblower.

Vince
Prizemaster and Oscar
SO to Dr. Ruth

Paul J. Adam

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

In article <352A8674...@inlink.com>, loki <lo...@inlink.com> writes

>BlackBeard wrote:
>> Please change that to "All of the QUALIFIED crew members". Dinks ain't
>> got the time nor the need for entertainment.
>
>Hmmm... I'd considered applying for the position of Medical Officer on
>the grounds that having spent a career in healthcare I'm completely
>unshockable

You haven't served with this motley crew yet... <vbg>


Actually, having known a few medics, maybe you're right. A few months in
Accident and Emergency and you really can claim to have seen almost
everything. "You stuck _what_? Into _where_?"


>Oh, and someone suggested
>perhaps the Dragon Lady has been AWOL a bit too long and a backup may be
>needed.

Does that mean _you'll_ feed the python?

>Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...

I'm too much of a gentleman for the obvious retort (besides, I'm
married).

Surely some livestock from the goat locker - I mean, one of our esteemed
and resprected Chiefs - will find something suitably smutty to say.
Probably something about screws, shafts and seamen. Good NCOs are always
reliable... which is not always a good thing...

>> 4 hours? I get maybe 2 minutes from CT and an hour or so from HFRO.
>
>Hmmm... I'll have to watch HFRO. I read the book but never watched the
>movie.

The movie's not bad: at least it's heart is in the right place, and it's
entertaining, and there are touches of reality in there (the Dallas' COB
saving a hard-working NQP from being ribbed _too_ hard, for instance,
rang a bell with me).

CT is just sad. Good direction (it _looks_ good, more claustrophobic
than HFRO), great actors (Hackman and Washington are two of my
favourites), all dragged down by a lousy script and story. It could have
been so good... but it sucked.

(Apart from anything else, RN boats carry, like, two rifles, for the
whole submarine. Where _did_ the entire Rock Island Arsenal that the USS
Alabama seemed to have aboard come from? And why does a bomber need
enough weapons, ammo, INIBA and helmets to outfit an infantry brigade
anyway? Ours make do with a Clue Stick hanging in the control room...
No, must stop, must stop...)


>Loki - batting her eyelashes and looking sideways...

Okay, Doc, welcome aboard. Qual board is when we stop arguing about it,
firearms and the more lethal melee weapons are stored in the fore-ends
under SECDET control: the Chiefs rule aboard or underway, and SECDET
lead while ashore or amidst boarding actions: and if you aren't either
holding to the pledge or diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver after a
month aboard, you obviously aren't trying hard enough....

Stephen Downes

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

In article 132021 "Prof. Vincent Brannigan" <vb...@umail.umd.edu> wrote:


> Been some dispute over a motto. a motto should help our primary
> productive activity, intimidating ships on the high seas.
> I prefer ODERUNT DUM METUANT (let them hate, so long as they fear). It
> was the motto of the Emperor Caligula, who threw a mean party and was
> known to Horatio Hornblower.

Department of Pedantry points out that

a) temporal incompatibility >1.7 Kyr, is this a record?

b) it's "ODERINT", subjunctive.

How about "IN VINO VOLUBILITAS"?

Or, considering your primary mission, "CATAPULTAM HABEO. NISI PECUNIAM
OMNEM MIHI DABIS, AD CAPUT TUUM SAXUM IMMANE MITTAM".

Regards

Stephen


D.C.KOH

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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Paul J. Adam wrote:
>
> >Oh, and someone suggested
> >perhaps the Dragon Lady has been AWOL a bit too long and a backup may be
> >needed.
>
> Does that mean _you'll_ feed the python?
>
There alot of pythons on board... oh you mean the snake that used to
hotbunk with Harold? I thought it has been cooked half a dozen times
over already?

> >Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...
>
> I'm too much of a gentleman for the obvious retort (besides, I'm
> married).
>

'Report position and depth at midnight'?

> Okay, Doc, welcome aboard. Qual board is when we stop arguing about it,
> firearms and the more lethal melee weapons are stored in the fore-ends
> under SECDET control: the Chiefs rule aboard or underway, and SECDET
> lead while ashore or amidst boarding actions: and if you aren't either
> holding to the pledge or diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver after a
> month aboard, you obviously aren't trying hard enough....
>

You left out the the distillery dept. Beer rats have been stopped for
far less grievious errors of omission...

Dan

loki

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

Prof. Vincent Brannigan wrote:

> I ve just returned from misleading the Europeans on american law. But I
> see there may be some slight confusion here. I assure you that Dr.
> Ruth is highly competitive in the "cute" department. However given the
> nature of the crew there is always room for qualified individuals in the
> health care area, particularly those not easily shocked. I brought home
> copies of the BMJ article on The Caerphilly study and Dr. Rtuh will
> prepare a synopsis.

Why, thank you. I'll admit that Dr. Ruth does indeed score well in the
"cute" department. <sigh> I'd go so far as to suggest that I'm younger
and prettier but since I noticed your position as her SO I'd best back
off a bit. <sigh> Besides, I like her.

As to my lack of shockability I submit 3 years spent working in
Emergency Rooms and my current situation in the OR. I have the sideline
of working with IT so perhaps that will have an application as well.

> Subs are easy. Air on the inside, water on the outside and stay out of
> the way of the people who know how to make the little propeller thing on
> the stern go round and round, and also keep the sub from sinking or
> getting lost. These people are referred to as "qualified". More
> technically they are the "line component" All others are staff, who
> have a lower order of qualification. Staff keep the line happy. There
> is some dispute over the SECDET and the Brewmaster. Some think the
> partying function is the main reason for existance so they are line. Im
> not sure but certainly would not argue with such folks.

I'm particularly good at staying out of people's way. I also seem to
excel at keeping folks happy. As to partying, I definitely excel at
that. I'll remember to take particularly good care of the line folks.



> Been some dispute over a motto. a motto should help our primary
> productive activity, intimidating ships on the high seas.
> I prefer ODERUNT DUM METUANT (let them hate, so long as they fear). It
> was the motto of the Emperor Caligula, who threw a mean party and was
> known to Horatio Hornblower.

Hmmm... Interesting motto. I've seen the others suggested and they're
not bad either. I think I'll stay out of this one.

Loki

loki

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

Paul J. Adam wrote:

> You haven't served with this motley crew yet... <vbg>

I doubt they'd shock me. In addition to my career in hospitals (yep)
there were those three years out in the desert playing with the airborne
types. Now, I know you folks won't likely count that particularly since
every time the Navy showed they wouldn't let me out to play. <sigh> I
just thought I'd mention it is all.



> Actually, having known a few medics, maybe you're right. A few months in
> Accident and Emergency and you really can claim to have seen almost
> everything. "You stuck _what_? Into _where_?"

Yep, saw plenty of that. Worked in the ER for about 3 years.

Actually a bunch of us were all out having dinner in a nice Mexican
restaurant out in San Jose one night. Talk turned to what we thought
was a relatively civilized conversation about things that we had
surgically extracted from various folks bodies. It got really funny but
suddenly we noticed that people were requesting that they be moved away
from us. Geesh, we thought we were behaving...

> >Oh, and someone suggested
> >perhaps the Dragon Lady has been AWOL a bit too long and a backup may be
> >needed.

> Does that mean _you'll_ feed the python?

Python? Hmmm... I could interpret that a couple of different ways.
Hmmm... Nope, don't think so.



> >Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...

> I'm too much of a gentleman for the obvious retort (besides, I'm
> married).

> Surely some livestock from the goat locker - I mean, one of our esteemed
> and resprected Chiefs - will find something suitably smutty to say.
> Probably something about screws, shafts and seamen. Good NCOs are always
> reliable... which is not always a good thing...

<laugh> I think someone has already tried something but he was a bit
more subtle. Not what I expected at all. Not terribly subtle either
but more than the above would imply.

[snip discussion of movies]

> Okay, Doc, welcome aboard. Qual board is when we stop arguing about it,
> firearms and the more lethal melee weapons are stored in the fore-ends
> under SECDET control: the Chiefs rule aboard or underway, and SECDET
> lead while ashore or amidst boarding actions: and if you aren't either
> holding to the pledge or diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver after a
> month aboard, you obviously aren't trying hard enough....

<grin> I'll be neither holding to the pledge nor diagnosed with
cirrhosis. <smile> There's an herb that will allow me to drink and not
hurt my liver. What it is is my secret. Ya'll best be really nice to
me. I can cure hangovers too...

Loki

loki

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

D.C.KOH wrote:

> There alot of pythons on board... oh you mean the snake that used to
> hotbunk with Harold? I thought it has been cooked half a dozen times
> over already?

Oh, good grief. A real snake? Yuk.



> 'Report position and depth at midnight'?

My dear sir. I'll have you know that if I'm involved in that sort of
manuever I'm completely incapable of speech let alone reporting
anything. <grin>



> You left out the the distillery dept. Beer rats have been stopped for
> far less grievious errors of omission...

Distillery dept, huh? Hmmm...

Loki

Velovich

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

>
>I doubt they'd shock me. In addition to my career in hospitals (yep)
>there were those three years out in the desert playing with the airborne
>types. Now, I know you folks won't likely count that particularly since
>every time the Navy showed they wouldn't let me out to play. <sigh> I
>just thought I'd mention it is all.
>

hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up an
aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
captives, er..., anesthetising patients.

<*>

Velovich
"Who IS Keyser Souze?"

NOTICE TO BULK E-MAILERS: Pursuant to US Code, Title 47, Chapter 5, Subchapter
II, 227, and all nonsolicited commercial e-mail sent to this address is subject
to a download and archival fee in the amount of $500 US.

Eugene Griessel

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

>Prof. Vincent Brannigan wrote:
>
>> I ve just returned from misleading the Europeans on american law. But I
>> see there may be some slight confusion here. I assure you that Dr.
>> Ruth is highly competitive in the "cute" department. However given the
>> nature of the crew there is always room for qualified individuals in the
>> health care area, particularly those not easily shocked. I brought home
>> copies of the BMJ article on The Caerphilly study and Dr. Rtuh will
>> prepare a synopsis.

>Why, thank you. I'll admit that Dr. Ruth does indeed score well in the
>"cute" department. <sigh> I'd go so far as to suggest that I'm younger
>and prettier but since I noticed your position as her SO I'd best back
>off a bit. <sigh> Besides, I like her.

When is someone gonna fill the new doc in that this Dr Ruth is big Vince's
significant other and not the TV star?

Eugene L Griessel eug...@dynagen.co.za

www.dynagen.co.za/eugene
SAAF Crashboat Page - www.dynagen.co.za/eugene/eug3.htm

Thought for the day .......

A nation is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry
and a common hatred of its neighbours.


loki

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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Eugene Griessel wrote:

> >Why, thank you. I'll admit that Dr. Ruth does indeed score well in the
> >"cute" department. <sigh> I'd go so far as to suggest that I'm younger
> >and prettier but since I noticed your position as her SO I'd best back
> >off a bit. <sigh> Besides, I like her.

> When is someone gonna fill the new doc in that this Dr Ruth is big Vince's
> significant other and not the TV star?

My dear sir it matters not who this particular Dr. Ruth is. The man
said it's his SO therefore I immediately like her. I also immediately
cease and desist the competitive stuff. It's just survival...

Loki

loki

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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Velovich wrote:

> hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up an
> aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
> captives, er..., anesthetising patients.

Damn right I can hold my own and with what I've seen of this crew thus
far it's a good thing too. Geesh... (Ya'll can take that any way you
want to.)

As to the captives, uh, patients, are they going to be male or female?
Perhaps (from what I've seen around here) a mix? Hmmm...

Loki

Matt Clonfero

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
to

Steve Atkatz <ato...@idt.net> wrote:

>>Trouble is I don't know much about submarines. I learn fast though...
>>

>Ok Doc, why don't you step right over here into the chief's quarters
>and I'll personnally give you a crash course.

`hide the submarine' ?

Aetherem Vincere
Matt.
--
================================================================================
Matt Clonfero: Ma...@aetherem.demon.co.uk | To Err is Human
My employers and I have a deal - They don't | To forgive is not Air Force Policy
speak for me, and I don't speak for them. | -- Anon, ETPS

Matt Clonfero

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Apr 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/8/98
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Stephen Downes <cdo...@hgmp.mrc.ac.uk> wrote:

>> Been some dispute over a motto. a motto should help our primary
>> productive activity, intimidating ships on the high seas.
>> I prefer ODERUNT DUM METUANT (let them hate, so long as they fear). It
>> was the motto of the Emperor Caligula, who threw a mean party and was
>> known to Horatio Hornblower.
>

>Department of Pedantry points out that
>
>a) temporal incompatibility >1.7 Kyr, is this a record?

Hornblower read it from the stern of HMS Caligula, and understood it.
More than the Captain of Caligula, apparently.

>Or, considering your primary mission, "CATAPULTAM HABEO. NISI PECUNIAM

>OMNEM MIHI DABIS, AD CAPUT TUUM SAXUM IMMANE MITTAM".

I have a catapult. If you do not give me all your money, I will fling a
huge rock at your head.

Eugene Griessel

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

>> When is someone gonna fill the new doc in that this Dr Ruth is big Vince's
>> significant other and not the TV star?

>My dear sir it matters not who this particular Dr. Ruth is. The man
>said it's his SO therefore I immediately like her. I also immediately
>cease and desist the competitive stuff. It's just survival...

Sorry doc, ready for my procotological exam right now .....

Eugene L Griessel eug...@dynagen.co.za

www.dynagen.co.za/eugene
SAAF Crashboat Page - www.dynagen.co.za/eugene/eug3.htm

Thought for the day .......

To sum up:
1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel spinning at 10 000 r.p.m.
2. Man is a sick fly, taking a dizzy ride on it.
3. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning
to give him the ride.


Dave Champney

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

loki wrote:
>
> My dear sir. I'll have you know that if I'm involved in that sort of
> manuever I'm completely incapable of speech let alone reporting
> anything. <grin>
>

Damn, if this is the kind of recruit Ustafish is getting now maybe I'll
have to learn something about submarines and beg to be allowed on board.
Nah, maybe the new Moral Officer needs a PA for "sundry duties"? (neck
massage, drink mixing etc etc) if so I'll volunteer.

Dave Champney

db...@vega.co.uk

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Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

In article <352CC9...@gecm.com>,
Dave Champney <dave.c...@gecm.com> wrote:

[...] drink mixing etc etc) if so I'll volunteer.
>
Just how difficult is "Scotch and Scotch with Scotch"?

With a Scotch chaser?

David

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading

Davide Pastore

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Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Matt Clonfero ha scritto nel messaggio ...

>>Or, considering your primary mission, "CATAPULTAM HABEO. NISI PECUNIAM
>>OMNEM MIHI DABIS, AD CAPUT TUUM SAXUM IMMANE MITTAM".
>
>I have a catapult. If you do not give me all your money, I will fling a
>huge rock at your head.


Very very fine motto. I vote for it.

But, just to be iper-pedantic:
if a Roman motto should be referred to the Roman period, I think the correct
term should be "Ballista" (Ballistam habeo ? I'm extremely weak in Latin)

Davide

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

>
>I doubt they'd shock me. In addition to my career in hospitals (yep)
>there were those three years out in the desert playing with the airborne
>types. Now, I know you folks won't likely count that particularly since
>every time the Navy showed they wouldn't let me out to play. <sigh> I
>just thought I'd mention it is all.

Where were you? Irwin? Yuma?

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

In article <199804082008...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
velo...@aol.com (Velovich) wrote:

> hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up an
>aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
>captives, er..., anesthetising patients.


If they're conscious when you bring them in you're not doing your job. ;)

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

>
>>My dear sir it matters not who this particular Dr. Ruth is. The man
>>said it's his SO therefore I immediately like her. I also immediately
>>cease and desist the competitive stuff. It's just survival...
>
>Sorry doc, ready for my procotological exam right now .....
>


A tad bit too eager I'd say. You sure you're not British?

(ducking)

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

In article <6gircg$hah$1...@server-b.cs.interbusiness.it>, "Davide Pastore"
<vak...@ipsnet.it> wrote:

This is beginning to remind me of the Roman Grammer lesson in 'The life of
Brian'.

Velovich

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

>
>In article <199804082008...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
>velo...@aol.com (Velovich) wrote:
>
>> hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up
>an
>>aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
>>captives, er..., anesthetising patients.
>
>
>If they're conscious when you bring them in you're not doing your job. ;)
>
>BlackBeard

OK, point taken, but I thought we'd grab 'em, dump them at the aid station,
and go back for more. Taking the time to see to them ourselves would reduce
the haul. The Aid Station can move forward as we advance. They would leave
clusters of Patients for Squids to transfer to the boat (they'd be faster and
safer at that task).

loki

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

BlackBeard wrote:

> In article <352BD08D...@inlink.com>, lo...@inlink.com wrote:

> >I doubt they'd shock me. In addition to my career in hospitals (yep)
> >there were those three years out in the desert playing with the airborne
> >types. Now, I know you folks won't likely count that particularly since
> >every time the Navy showed they wouldn't let me out to play. <sigh> I
> >just thought I'd mention it is all.

> Where were you? Irwin? Yuma?

Yuma 1974 - 1977 <grin>

Loki - who noticed something about China Lake and you...

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

>
>Yuma 1974 - 1977 <grin>
>
>Loki - who noticed something about China Lake and you...

Hmmm.. I went to Yuma quite a few times between 74-77. My step-bro had
grown up there and we would make weekend runs to Yuma. Did you know a
Mike Frazier? He was probably about 17 or 18 in 1974. Raced dirt bikes
all the time.

loki

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Eugene Griessel wrote:

> Sorry doc, ready for my procotological exam right now .....

Not necessary. Besides, not being male I don't get much of a kick out
of doing those. <grin>

Loki

loki

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Dave Champney wrote:

> loki wrote:

> > My dear sir. I'll have you know that if I'm involved in that sort of
> > manuever I'm completely incapable of speech let alone reporting
> > anything. <grin>

> Damn, if this is the kind of recruit Ustafish is getting now maybe I'll
> have to learn something about submarines and beg to be allowed on board.
> Nah, maybe the new Moral Officer needs a PA for "sundry duties"? (neck

> massage, drink mixing etc etc) if so I'll volunteer.

Nah, not the Moral Officer and not the Medical Officer either. Just
staff I suppose (I'd take Witch Doctor for a title though - perverted
sense of humor I seem to have huh?).

As to the neck massage, well, I'm partial to massage of all sorts.
<smile> I'll mix my own drinks thanks. I don't think I trust this
bunch...

Loki

loki

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Velovich wrote:

> >In article <199804082008...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
> >velo...@aol.com (Velovich) wrote:

> >> hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up
> >an
> >>aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
> >>captives, er..., anesthetising patients.

> >If they're conscious when you bring them in you're not doing your job. ;)

> >BlackBeard

> OK, point taken, but I thought we'd grab 'em, dump them at the aid station,
> and go back for more. Taking the time to see to them ourselves would reduce
> the haul. The Aid Station can move forward as we advance. They would leave
> clusters of Patients for Squids to transfer to the boat (they'd be faster and
> safer at that task).

Now, wait a darn minute here! I'm supposed to do your job for you??? I
don't think so...

You'd best come up with a better system than this one...

Loki - glaring...

Random

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

On Thu, 09 Apr 1998 12:11:34 -0700, nos...@yadda.yadda.yadda
(BlackBeard) wrote:

>In article <199804082008...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
>velo...@aol.com (Velovich) wrote:
>
>> hey! Mr Glenn! She can hold her own! We can take her ashore to set up an
>>aid station! (Suply can get her plenty of cloroform for knocking out our
>>captives, er..., anesthetising patients.
>
>
>If they're conscious when you bring them in you're not doing your job. ;)

Because everyone knows that a girl has to be blind drunk before taking
up with a submariner? You're ugly but not that ugly.

random

loki

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Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

BlackBeard wrote:

> In article <352D1EEE...@inlink.com>, lo...@inlink.com wrote:

> >Yuma 1974 - 1977 <grin>

> >Loki - who noticed something about China Lake and you...

> Hmmm.. I went to Yuma quite a few times between 74-77. My step-bro had
> grown up there and we would make weekend runs to Yuma. Did you know a
> Mike Frazier? He was probably about 17 or 18 in 1974. Raced dirt bikes
> all the time.

Eeek.

I was living out at YPG from June '74 to July '75. After that I lived
in town but still worked out at YPG. Uh, you ever make it to the
airfield out there??? If so, my past may be catching up with me.
<groan>

No, I don't remember a Mike Frazier. I was 20 in 1974 and married. By
the next year I was divorced though. Still, he would have been too
young for me to have encountered him.

Loki

loki

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Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Uh, I suppose it didn't occur to you that it could be that they're
unconscious because it was soooo ecstatic an experience that they just
lost conciousness due to sheer pleasure?

Geesh...

Loki - who has never done that but keeps hoping...

loki

unread,
Apr 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/9/98
to

Random wrote:

>
> On Thu, 09 Apr 1998 16:34:33 -0500, loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

> >Uh, I suppose it didn't occur to you that it could be that they're
> >unconscious because it was soooo ecstatic an experience that they just
> >lost conciousness due to sheer pleasure?

> Hey! They're called sub-mariners for a reason you know. The idea
> that a sub like these could do that to anyone leaves me ROTFL.
> Incidentally, I caught a glimpse of a submariner once out of the
> corner of my eye. Now that eye is near sighted, has astigmatism, and
> glaucoma. No wonder they spend so much time hiding under the surface.
> :)

And you are???

Actually, you may have inspired me to do a little field study here...

Loki - grinning

Random

unread,
Apr 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/10/98
to

On Thu, 09 Apr 1998 16:34:33 -0500, loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

>Random wrote:
>>
>> On Thu, 09 Apr 1998 12:11:34 -0700, nos...@yadda.yadda.yadda
>> (BlackBeard) wrote:
>
>> >If they're conscious when you bring them in you're not doing your job. ;)
>
>> Because everyone knows that a girl has to be blind drunk before taking
>> up with a submariner? You're ugly but not that ugly.
>

>Uh, I suppose it didn't occur to you that it could be that they're
>unconscious because it was soooo ecstatic an experience that they just
>lost conciousness due to sheer pleasure?

Hey! They're called sub-mariners for a reason you know. The idea
that a sub like these could do that to anyone leaves me ROTFL.
Incidentally, I caught a glimpse of a submariner once out of the
corner of my eye. Now that eye is near sighted, has astigmatism, and
glaucoma. No wonder they spend so much time hiding under the surface.
:)

random

Matt Clonfero

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Apr 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/10/98
to

>And you are???

A skimmer. Don't worry about him.

Sue Thing

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

In article <352BD12A...@inlink.com> loki <lo...@inlink.com> writes:

>D.C.KOH wrote:

>> There alot of pythons on board... oh you mean the snake that used to
>> hotbunk with Harold? I thought it has been cooked half a dozen times
>> over already?

>Oh, good grief. A real snake? Yuk.

Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...

Sue


Eugene Griessel

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

plbu...@goodnet.com (Sue Thing) wrote:

>>D.C.KOH wrote:

Sue baby! Welcome back! Just a quick lash left and right please and I'll
scuttle back to the tiller flat.


Eugene L Griessel eug...@dynagen.co.za

www.dynagen.co.za/eugene
SAAF Crashboat Page - www.dynagen.co.za/eugene/eug3.htm

Thought for the day .......

The three S's of bureaucracy - Sluggish, Secretive & Suspicious.


BlackBeard

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

In article <plburton.10...@goodnet.com>, plbu...@goodnet.com (Sue
Thing) wrote:

>In article <352BD12A...@inlink.com> loki <lo...@inlink.com> writes:
>
>
>
>>Oh, good grief. A real snake? Yuk.
>
>Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...
>


SECDET! Apprehend that AWOL wench! And send her belowdecks for
interrogation. Where ya been Sue?


Wait, you and Tim, both gone, almost the same amount of time and both show
back up at the same time... Hmmmm. Now if we can find Arved and WEN we'll
be back in bizniz...

Sue Thing

unread,
Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

In article <3531d...@hawk.pix.za> eug...@dynagen.co.za (Eugene Griessel) writes:

>plbu...@goodnet.com (Sue Thing) wrote:

>>Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...

>Sue baby! Welcome back! Just a quick lash left and right please and I'll


>scuttle back to the tiller flat.

Of course...my pleasure, as always.

As someone just so astutely suggested, there's only so much turf poaching I'm
going to ignore...

;)

Sue

Velovich

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

>
>SECDET! Apprehend that AWOL wench! And send her belowdecks for
>interrogation. Where ya been Sue?
>

Men! Take Below to the Grunt Cage!

>
>Wait, you and Tim, both gone, almost the same amount of time and both show
>back up at the same time... Hmmmm. Now if we can find Arved and WEN we'll
>be back in bizniz...
>

BB, with your permission, I'll have Mr. McFreely Taken below for
interrogation, as well.

>BlackBeard

Paul J. Adam

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

In article <nospam-1304...@ssn662.chinalake.navy.mil>,
BlackBeard <nos...@yadda.yadda.yadda> writes
>In article <plburton.10...@goodnet.com>, plbu...@goodnet.com (Sue

>Thing) wrote:
>>Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...
>>
>SECDET! Apprehend that AWOL wench! And send her belowdecks for
>interrogation.

Interrogation! <hur hurhur hur hurhur hur> Yeah! This job rocks!

>Wait, you and Tim, both gone, almost the same amount of time and both show
>back up at the same time...

Deeply suspicious if you ask me. We're gonna have to use the comfy chair
_and_ the soft pillows for this one...

--
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and
praiseworthy...

Paul J. Adam pa...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk


loki

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Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

Sue Thing wrote:

> In article <3531d...@hawk.pix.za> eug...@dynagen.co.za (Eugene Griessel) writes:

> >plbu...@goodnet.com (Sue Thing) wrote:

> >>Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...

> >Sue baby! Welcome back! Just a quick lash left and right please and I'll
> >scuttle back to the tiller flat.

> Of course...my pleasure, as always.

> As someone just so astutely suggested, there's only so much turf poaching I'm
> going to ignore...

Hmmm... Didn't think I was turf poaching. Tell ya what, we can divide
this up. I never cared much for the whipping bit so you keep that, will
you? I'm sure we can both end up happy here...

Loki

loki

unread,
Apr 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/13/98
to

Sue Thing wrote:

> In article <352BD12A...@inlink.com> loki <lo...@inlink.com> writes:

> >D.C.KOH wrote:

> >> There alot of pythons on board... oh you mean the snake that used to
> >> hotbunk with Harold? I thought it has been cooked half a dozen times
> >> over already?

> >Oh, good grief. A real snake? Yuk.

> Ah HAH! I knew she had to have a weakness somewhere...

Yeah, I have a few weaknesses but snakes aren't one of them. I don't
like them much but I'm not afraid of them.

Loki - grinning

BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/14/98
to

In article <9CNN9UAL...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk>, "Paul J. Adam"
<ne...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk> wrote:


>Interrogation! <hur hurhur hur hurhur hur> Yeah! This job rocks!
>
>>Wait, you and Tim, both gone, almost the same amount of time and both show
>>back up at the same time...
>
>Deeply suspicious if you ask me. We're gonna have to use the comfy chair
>_and_ the soft pillows for this one...
>


Dare I?...


It would be better if Sue said it...

BlackBeard

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Apr 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/14/98
to

In article <199804132031...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
velo...@aol.com (Velovich) wrote:

>>

>>
>
> BB, with your permission, I'll have Mr. McFreely Taken below for
>interrogation, as well.
>


Heck no, last time we left them together was when they disappeared.
Puttin those two down below together is asking for all sorts of shipborne
transients. And there's no telling what will end up in the bilge.

Send the TM up to the Sonar shack. All that perfume will be like torture
to him.

Brian K. Thomason

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Apr 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/14/98
to

What the fuck is goin on in here? Can't I get any rack time?

Blian (aka BKT(SS))


BlackBeard wrote in message ...


>In article <9CNN9UAL...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk>, "Paul J. Adam"
><ne...@jrwlynch.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
>>Interrogation! <hur hurhur hur hurhur hur> Yeah! This job rocks!
>>
>>>Wait, you and Tim, both gone, almost the same amount of time and both
show
>>>back up at the same time...
>>
>>Deeply suspicious if you ask me. We're gonna have to use the comfy chair
>>_and_ the soft pillows for this one...
>>
>
>
>Dare I?...
>
>
>It would be better if Sue said it...
>

Eugene Griessel

unread,
Apr 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/15/98
to

loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:


>Yeah, I have a few weaknesses but snakes aren't one of them. I don't
>like them much but I'm not afraid of them.

Oh goody! Think you can pop over here and try and persuade the damned Cobra
which has taken up residence in my hydrangea bushes to move along? We keep
giving each other the nastiest of surprises and I no longer know which one of
us is going to have the first heart attack.

Eugene L Griessel eug...@dynagen.co.za

www.dynagen.co.za/eugene
SAAF Crashboat Page - www.dynagen.co.za/eugene/eug3.htm

Thought for the day .......

It is by the grace of God that we have in our country three
unspeakably precious things: Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Conscience,
and the Prudence never to practice either. - Mark Twain


BlackBeard

unread,
Apr 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/15/98
to

In article <6h1lm0$k...@nntp02.primenet.com>, "Brian K. Thomason"
<thom...@primenet.com> wrote:

>What the fuck is goin on in here? Can't I get any rack time?
>
>Blian (aka BKT(SS))

Actually Blian. You got watch. You may have to requal considering the
sonar girls are in 50 section duty and you haven't stood a shack watch
since December. So we can figure... what.... an hour or so after you
buffalo the shower for a half hour and another 30 minutes for you to get
your tea and make it to the shack?

Welcome back. You got the watch.

loki

unread,
Apr 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/15/98
to

Eugene Griessel wrote:

> loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

> >Yeah, I have a few weaknesses but snakes aren't one of them. I don't
> >like them much but I'm not afraid of them.

> Oh goody! Think you can pop over here and try and persuade the damned Cobra
> which has taken up residence in my hydrangea bushes to move along? We keep
> giving each other the nastiest of surprises and I no longer know which one of
> us is going to have the first heart attack.

Why do you keep bothering it???

Actually, my dislike of the creatures has prevented me from learning
much about them.

Loki

Eugene Griessel

unread,
Apr 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/15/98
to

loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:

>Eugene Griessel wrote:
>
>> loki <lo...@inlink.com> wrote:
>
>> >Yeah, I have a few weaknesses but snakes aren't one of them. I don't
>> >like them much but I'm not afraid of them.
>
>> Oh goody! Think you can pop over here and try and persuade the damned Cobra
>> which has taken up residence in my hydrangea bushes to move along? We keep
>> giving each other the nastiest of surprises and I no longer know which one of
>> us is going to have the first heart attack.

>Why do you keep bothering it???

Well I could claim the dumb thing is bothering me as the hydrangeas are at my
front door. It may be pissed off that I killed one of its relatives a while
back but the sodding thing attacked me in my own home - so it was self
defence. I suppose I will have to call in the local snake catcher one of
these days - if t