NEWS BULLETIN -- Serial Killer on the Loose in Capitol . .

[Ed Conrad]

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) -- Passage
of President Obama's entire health-care reform
package seems assured after several dozen
Republican opponents of the bill were eaten
by piranha at a medical industry cocktail/swim
party last night.
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"Some Son of a Bitch had rubbed canned
tuna inside their bathing trunks before
the legislators put them on, then released
dozens and dozens of piranha to enjoy
a happy meal," said police Lt. Ron
McDonald.
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http://cardioplegia.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/brazilian-black-piranha-normal.jpg
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Father Guido Sarducci, former chaplain on
Saturday Night Live but now a lifeguard for
a large pharmaceutical company, witnessed
the smorgasboard and said it was "just awful."
He actually puked during an interview with the
White House press corps.
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http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
Father Sarducci shows the size of some of the piranha
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"Within seconds, the bluish water turned rosy
red and there was all kinds of splashing and
screaming in agony," he said. "Then all kinds
of body parts began surfacing -- arms, legs,
toes, eyeballs, Even flaccid penises. Believe
me, it wasn't very pleasant."
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http://www.nevillepage.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/piranha-3d1.jpg
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The cocktail/swim party reportedly was
supposed to be the corrupt legislators' last
get-together while getting their final instructions
on how to give President Obama and John Q.
Public a royal screwing on health-care reform.
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The only legislator to be identified so far from
bits and pieces was Rep. Mike Ross of Arkansas,
who had been the guest of honor at seven
fund-raisers sponsored by major corporations
or their lobbyists this year.
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Rejection of health-care reform reportedly
threatens the future financial security of the
longtime bribe-takers, therefore they have
become key brokers in opposing legislation
that seriously threatens the obscene profits
of the medical and health care industry.
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Police had no suspects but are following
up leads that the stench of tuna leads to
a very large home on Pennsylvania Avenue.
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FOR A MINUTE-BY-MINUTE UPDATE:
http://www.foxnews.com
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While waiting for the updates, you
might want to take a peak at
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MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
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DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath
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You may also want to watch...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxw1EFcm3vw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuW3bdsoRV0&NR=1
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