This is a good question.
If you use the singular value decomposition you will see that a hat matrix has to be of the form
H = Ut J U
where U is orthogonal, Ut is its transpose/inverse, and J is a diagonal matrix whose diagonal entries are zero or one. Then see that any entry is of the form x.Jy for unit vectors x and y, and hence must be less than 1 in absolute value.
Many linear algebra courses don't spend a lot of time on the singular value decomposition. In fact, I never learned it in any course while I was an undergraduate at Cambridge (25+ years ago), so don't feel bad if you have never seen it before.
The Frobenius norm of H is the square root of the number of non-zero entries of J. If X is m by n (m >= n), then this must be sqrt(n). This is because otherwise Xt X has rank less than n, and as a n by n matrix it must be non-invertible. If X is m by n (m < n), then Xt X is a n by n matrix whose rank is at most m, so it cannot be invertible.