Japanese Jokes

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Greg

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May 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/7/98
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Does anybody know any Japanese jokes(puns, one-liners, etc.) in Japanese?
Also, what types of jokes are acceptable in Japan(ie. racist, sex, or dirty
jokes)? Is the humour in Japan much different than in North America?


Chuck Douglas

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May 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/7/98
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"Greg" <gre...@island.net> writes:

> Does anybody know any Japanese jokes(puns, one-liners, etc.) in Japanese?

I did one today that was so perfectly set-up, I couldn't have asked
for it any better.

My Friend (entering dates into a spreadsheet): Kyou wa go-gastu nanoka . . .
Me (slowly and deliberately): Sou . . . nano ka . . .

I got number of dirty looks and a few compliments from a guy who overheard
me. The trouble is, I can only do this joke maybe once or twice per
month. :-)

I manage to come up with a few "good" ones every now and then (much to
the dismay of everyone around me) but you really have to be there for
most of them.

I am also pretty good at cross-lingual puns but they are only understood
by bi-lingual people.

--
Chuck Douglas -- chuc...@jaka.ece.uiuc.edu
"I don't pretend I have all the answers/Just the obvious ones"
--_Backbone_ by Baby Animals
Homepage now available at: http://jaka.ece.uiuc.edu/~chuckers/

Matthew Salter

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May 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/7/98
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Greg wrote:
>
> Does anybody know any Japanese jokes(puns, one-liners, etc.) in Japanese?
> Also, what types of jokes are acceptable in Japan(ie. racist, sex, or dirty
> jokes)? Is the humour in Japan much different than in North America?

Laughter is not big in Japan.

Matthew

Kei. SUGIMOTO

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May 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/7/98
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>Laughter is not big in Japan.
>Matthew

Why do you think so?

I think Tamori and Sanma are funnier than David Letterman or Jay Reno.
I think Vocabula Tengoku is funnier than Seifeld.
Don't you agree?

I kow that understanding jokes fully depends on the ability to understand
the language, the culture, the people and the current topics. So whenever I
could not understand jokes, I am disappointed by my poor English.

So I wonder how you can conclude that way.

Reuben Muns

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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chuc...@jaka.ece.uiuc.edu (Chuck Douglas) wrote:

>I am also pretty good at cross-lingual puns but they are only understood
>by bi-lingual people.

I used to work in Osaka with an American who loved to tell
English puns (but spoke only a little Japanese) and a Japanese
who loved to tell Japanese puns (but spoke only a little
English). I spent an inordinate amount of time translating and
explaining. Of course by the time I finished the explanation,
most of the humor had evaporated.

Reuben

Reuben Muns

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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Matthew Salter <m.sa...@ic.ac.uk> wrote:

>Laughter is not big in Japan.
>

Loud laughter is not very big in Japan, but humor is quite
common. It's a radically different type of humor than American
humor -- more subtle.

Reuben

Richard Kaminski

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
to

Kei. SUGIMOTO wrote:

> >Laughter is not big in Japan.

because the gaijin saLter dOesn't understand japanese weLL
enugh tO understand japanese humOr.

but the wOrst thing is that he therefOre cOncLudes
that there is nO japanese humOr, just because he is tOO
ignrant tO understand it


Kenji Adzuma

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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In article <01bd795a$7f760360$312aefcc@a>, "Greg" <gre...@island.net> wrote:

> Does anybody know any Japanese jokes(puns, one-liners, etc.) in
Japanese?
> Also, what types of jokes are acceptable in Japan(ie. racist, sex, or dirty
> jokes)? Is the humour in Japan much different than in North America?

(1) About dirty jokes

Not sure about racist jokes, but dirty sex jokes are common among at least
college fraternity. When I was a college kid almost twenty years ago, we
had a thing called 'shun ka (shun = spring, ka = song)' that we all learned
from 'senpai'. 'Shun ka' is basically a parody of a real song, in which
the original lyrics are changed _slightly_ in such a way that the resulting
song would have a sexual, dirty implication.

I actually know a LOT of those songs, but I'm afraid most of those belong
to alt.sex.... NGs, not here. So I'll give just a classic, relatively mild
example.

Some of you might know a beautiful Japanese song called 'Ringo no uta.'
Its original lyrics are (direct translation in parentheses):

Akai ringo ni kuchibiru yosete ([my] lip touching a red apple)
damatte miteiru aoi sora... ([I'm] looking at the blue sky silently)
Ringo wa nan nimo iwanai keredo (although the apple does not say anything)
ringo no kimochi wa yoku wakaru... ([I] understand the feeling of the apple)
Ringo kawai ya, kawaiya ringo (my darling apple, my darling apple...)

This song subtly depicts the feelings of the Japanese people right after
the WWII.

Now, the 'Shun ka' version of the song is very simple. You just change
'ringo' to any other anatomically correct word for human private parts,
such as, uh..., chi*ko, etc like "Akai chi*ko ni kuchibiru yosete..."

(2) About Japanese puns

As to puns, short puns are common but the funniest goes to longer, more
elaborate puns. A classic example:

--------
'Aku no juujika...' (Devil's Cross)

Be warned. This is a real story.

About 30 some years ago, a woman committed suicide by jumping off the roof
of Nanba Takashimaya department store in Osaka. Even today, no one knows
the reason for the suicide, as she left no notes behind. All she had was a
tiny Cross in her hand...

Years had past since then, and people around Takashimaya department almost
forgot what had happened in that bloody day.

One day in the middle of the night, however, a guard at the department
noticed a young lady wandering slowly in front of the store. The guard
initially wasn't aware of the suicide incident. But when he learned of the
incident, he WAS terrified... Every time the guard saw her, he just run
away. But the woman showed up day after day...

Finally at one night, presumably out of desparation, he yelled at that
woman, "what the hell are you doing here!?" To his dismay, the woman
turned to where the guard was standing. As she was approaching the guard
station, he was so terrified that he couldn't even move...

Eventually she entered the station, looking at his eyes, and said in a
gloomy voice...

"Aku no juujika?" ([Is this store going to] open at 10 o'clock?) - Kansai
dialect


---------

--
Kenji Adzuma

Sean Holland

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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>Laughter is not big in Japan.

Huh? You can't have ever been there then. It's one of the laughingest
places around.

--
Sean
Visualize whirled peas.

Mike Wright

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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Reuben Muns wrote:

>
> Matthew Salter <m.sa...@ic.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> >Laughter is not big in Japan.
> >
> Loud laughter is not very big in Japan, but humor is quite
> common. It's a radically different type of humor than American
> humor -- more subtle.

Then it must have changed a lot over the past 19 years. When I lived
there, there was lots of stuff on TV and in the movies that made that
French guy, Jerry Lewis, look extremely sophisticated. (Or, are you just
talking about humor in personal conversation rather than public
performances?)

My calligraphy instructor, who just visited us last month, and his
entire family, certainly are full of mirth and laughter (to the extent
that some of my Japanese fellow students occasionally seemed shocked).
(At 80, he looks exactly as he did when he was 60. Maybe it's due to
that light-hearted sense of humor.)

Of course, I don't know whether or not they were just being polite when
they laughed at my calling the little granddaughter, named "Izumi",
"Nezumi-chan".

--
Mike Wright
http://www.scruz.net/~darwin/language.html
________________________________________________________
"Let those who don't want none have memories of
not gettin' any." --Brother Dave Gardner

Richard Kaminski

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
to
Mike Wright wrote:
Reuben Muns wrote:
>
> Matthew Salter <m.sa...@ic.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> >Laughter is not big in Japan.
> >
> Loud laughter is not very big in Japan, but humor is quite
> common. It's a radically different type of humor than American
> humor -- more subtle.

Then it must have changed a lot over the past 19 years. When I lived
there, there was lots of stuff on TV and in the movies that made that
French guy, Jerry Lewis, look extremely sophisticated. (Or, are you just
talking about humor in personal conversation rather than public
performances?)

My calligraphy instructor, who just visited us last month, and his
entire family, certainly are full of mirth and laughter (to the extent
that some of my Japanese fellow students occasionally seemed shocked).
(At 80, he looks exactly as he did when he was 60. Maybe it's due to
that light-hearted sense of humor.)

Of course, I don't know whether or not they were just being polite when
they laughed at my calling the little granddaughter, named "Izumi",
"Nezumi-chan".

--
Mike Wright
http://www.scruz.net/~darwin/language.html

Let me teLL yu - they were being pOLite

it's a rather stupid gaijin kind Of jOke that they make
when they start pLaying with wOrds

_______________________________________________________

  

Kenji Adzuma

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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In article <3554ada6...@news.primenet.com>, rm...@primenet.com (Reuben
Muns) wrote:

> Matthew Salter <m.sa...@ic.ac.uk> wrote:
>
> >Laughter is not big in Japan.
> >
> Loud laughter is not very big in Japan, but humor is quite
> common. It's a radically different type of humor than American
> humor -- more subtle.

...like:

A TV reporter is interviewing a boxing world champion, Guts Ishimatsu (does
anyone still remember him?), right after the match he struggled but
eventually won....

reporter "Ishimatsu san, kyou no shiai ha taihen deshita ne?"

-- "Mr. Ishimatsu, you struggled during today's match, didn't you?"

champion (sweat all over his face) "Iyaaa, taihen deshita... Masaka aite ga
nagutte kuru toha omoimasen deshita kara..."

-- "Yeah, I did. Because I never knew the guy's gonna hit me..."

--
Kenji Adzuma

Steven Franklin

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
to Kei. SUGIMOTO

Kei. SUGIMOTO wrote:
>
> >Laughter is not big in Japan.
> >Matthew
>
> Why do you think so?
>
> I think Tamori and Sanma are funnier than David Letterman or Jay Reno.
> I think Vocabula Tengoku is funnier than Seifeld.
> Don't you agree?
>
> I kow that understanding jokes fully depends on the ability to understand
> the language, the culture, the people and the current topics. So whenever I
> could not understand jokes, I am disappointed by my poor English.
>
> So I wonder how you can conclude that way.

I wonder too. I watched quite a bit of Japanese anime (I know... this is not
rec.arts.anime but I am studying Japanese) and have come to the conclusion
that the Japanese people enjoy humorjust as much as anyone else does.

--
Steven Franklin
ste...@clark.net

Reuben Muns

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May 8, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/8/98
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Mike Wright <dar...@scruznet.com> wrote:

>Reuben Muns wrote:
>>
>> Loud laughter is not very big in Japan, but humor is quite
>> common. It's a radically different type of humor than American
>> humor -- more subtle.
>

>Then it must have changed a lot over the past 19 years. When I lived
>there, there was lots of stuff on TV and in the movies that made that
>French guy, Jerry Lewis, look extremely sophisticated. (Or, are you just
>talking about humor in personal conversation rather than public
>performances?)
>

Correct. A lot of the stuff on Japanese TV is (like a lot of the
stuff on Mexican TV) rather inane (even more so than American
TV).

Reuben

Craig

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May 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/9/98
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"Kei. SUGIMOTO" <Keii...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:

>I think Tamori and Sanma are funnier than David Letterman or Jay Reno.

Jay is, of course, Janet's husband.

Craig

cb...@biosys.net


Scott Reynolds

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May 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/9/98
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Richard Kaminski wrote:

> Let me teLL yu - they were being pOLite
>
> it's a rather stupid gaijin kind Of jOke that they make
> when they start pLaying with wOrds

Richard, this "funny capitalization" joke is getting kinda old, doncha
think?
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com

Richard Kaminski

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May 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/9/98
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Scott Reynolds wrote:

gO back tO twics, scOttie


Gerald B Mathias

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May 9, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/9/98
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Scott Reynolds (s...@gol.com) wrote:
: Richard Kaminski wrote:

: > Let me teLL yu - they were being pOLite
: >
: > it's a rather stupid gaijin kind Of jOke that they make
: > when they start pLaying with wOrds

: Richard, this "funny capitalization" joke is getting kinda old, doncha
: think?

The poor guy has a broken keyboard. Can't do lower case "o" or "l."
I wonder whether his "9" and "." work, or does he get "(" and ">"?

I wonder if the nature of his "contributions" to this group are a
result of crack or something? Only one has had to do with Japanese
("What does 'kuri' mean?"); all the rest are people-bashing.

Bart

Richard Kaminski

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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Gerald B Mathias wrote:


Ha! At last I have been looked down upon by the great master Baato
sensei from
his lofty perch. At least he was the only one to notice that I did have
a broken
keyboard, and it was indeed the o and the l (and yes the 9 and . were
broken too)
You obviously know more about this problem than I do ....

Mind you, after so many people reacted to the weird capitalisatiOn, I
did in
fact think it was quite fUnny and continued dOing in for one more post
after I'd replaced
my keyboard. I might still carry on doing it now, it's a bit more
creative than the usual stuff.

How perspicacious of you, venerable Baato-sensei, to notice that all
(except one) of
my posts are "people bashing". Presumably, coming from you, this is a
compliment,
seeing as you appear to actively approve of that activity. (Re your
comment in defence of the (people bashing) esteemed professor Breem
after his
attack of sarcasm on Tanaka - better than whom you lot claim to be.

I don't need to be on crack, Baato-sama, to know a hypocrite when I see
one.


William Box

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
to

On Sat, 09 May 1998 10:23:09 +0100, Richard Kaminski
<defau...@domain.com> wrote:

>Scott Reynolds wrote:
>
>> Richard Kaminski wrote:
>>
>> > Let me teLL yu - they were being pOLite
>> >
>> > it's a rather stupid gaijin kind Of jOke that they make
>> > when they start pLaying with wOrds
>>
>> Richard, this "funny capitalization" joke is getting kinda old, doncha
>>
>> think?

>> _______________________________________________________________
>> Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com
>
> gO back tO twics, scOttie


Polish humor?

Bill Box


Now the long-feared Asiatic colossus takes its turn
as world leader, and we-the white race-have become
the yellow man's burden. Let us hope that he will
treat us more kindly than we treated him.

Gore Vidal (b. 1925), U.S. novelist, critic. Armageddon? Essays
1983-1987, "The Day the American Empire Ran Out of Gas" (1987).

Scott Reynolds

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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Gerald B Mathias wrote:

> I wonder if the nature of his "contributions" to this group are a
> result of crack or something? Only one has had to do with Japanese
> ("What does 'kuri' mean?"); all the rest are people-bashing.

Well, I remember making a total idiot of myself a while back with an
uncalled for nasty post directed at you, and I had reduced my crack use
considerably by that time (so it couldn't have been that).

Just goes to show that it is a good idea to actually *read* a newsgroup
for a while before you go and post in it. ;-)
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com

Richard Kaminski

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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Scott Reynolds wrote:

"Read a newsgroup"? What does that mean? I thought you only had to
post in it without reading anything.

At least that's the impression I get frOm yu SCott, because you
obviously didn't bother reading a previous pOst of mine in which
I said I'd been reading this group for years.

Typical semi-newbie trying to play the self-proclaimed expert
and guardian of the newsgrope. (and yes, that spelling was
intentional).

I like the way you grovel to Baato sensei by confessing your
previous sins against the Great One. Poacher turned gamekeeper, eh?


Sean Holland

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
to

In article <35557BD4...@clara.co.uk>, Richard Kaminski
<inter...@clara.co.uk> wrote:
(snip)

>
>I like the way you grovel to Baato sensei by confessing your
>previous sins against the Great One. Poacher turned gamekeeper, eh?

カミンスキ、何だよ、お前は。どうしてお前はいつもやっかいなことばかり書い
てるか。おじゃま虫だね。

Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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On 7 May 1998 02:02:51 GMT, "Greg" <gre...@island.net> wrote:

> Does anybody know any Japanese jokes(puns, one-liners, etc.) in Japanese?
>Also, what types of jokes are acceptable in Japan(ie. racist, sex, or dirty
>jokes)? Is the humour in Japan much different than in North America?
>

I'm not sure about humor in North America, but its not easy to get
proper results from translating german jokes into Japanese. However,
you can at least irritate them by using a few phrases strictly
grammatically:
"Mata itsuka - mata ha muika - mata nanoka..."
"Shitsurei shimasu." "Hai, shitsurei shite kudasai!"
"Doumo, taihen osewa ni narimasu." "Hai."/"Sou desu ne."

But take care: It can become very unpolite, so don't use it against
everyone...

Bye,

Olaf

--
Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND, JAIG#133 HU Berlin, Chinese&Japanese Department
DF0BLM page at http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/dd6uts
Please delete "blabla" in the address for correct reply...

Richard Kaminski

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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Sean Holland wrote:

Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're ever
going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group) can't
read.

Congratulations on your tremendous (for you) intellectual achievement.


Richard Kaminski

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
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Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND wrote:

Another stupid gaijin joke poster. This kind of "joke" reminds me of
English learners who seem to think it's OK to use every obscenity in the
book because it sounds funny to them and doesn't have the same
connotations in their minds as the equivalent words would have in their
native language.

What they don't realise is they only succeed in making themselves a
laughing stock and / or causing serious offence.


John Miller

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote in message <3555FD33...@clara.co.uk>...

>Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're ever

^^^^^^^^
Suspected Brit . . .

>going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
>system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group) can't
>read.


Heh. Would it change anything if your system *could* read Nihongo?
So why can't yours? Users of DOS, Windows, Unix, Mac . . . anyone
with a bit of motivation to do so can display kana and kanji.

Pip-pip, cheerio,
John "anyone who can't hover is queer" Miller


Richard Kaminski

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May 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/10/98
to

John Miller wrote:

> Richard Kaminski wrote in message <3555FD33...@clara.co.uk>...
>
> >Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're
> ever
>
> ^^^^^^^^
> Suspected Brit . . .
>

We have another super-intelligent life form here, I see. Let me explain
something to you, John. When you read a post, if you are clever and
using Netscape at least, it gives you the e-mail address of the sender.
In my case, inter...@clara.co.uk

Now what do you imagine the uk bit stands for? Uniformly kinky?

> >going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
>
> >system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group)
> can't
> >read.
>
> Heh. Would it change anything if your system *could* read Nihongo?
> So why can't yours? Users of DOS, Windows, Unix, Mac . . . anyone
> with a bit of motivation to do so can display kana and kanji.
>

Oh dear.... I'm not saying my system is inherently incapable of reading
Japanese, of course it is. It's just that I don't have the Japanese OS,
Unionway, or Twinbridge, etc etc set up on it. I'm sure everyone else
realised that. As I said, I think we are dealing here with someone of
unusual intelligence. Whether it's unusually high or low, I'll leave for
others to decide.

> Pip-pip, cheerio,
> John "anyone who can't hover is queer" Miller

Toodle pip to you too.

Scott Reynolds

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:

> "Read a newsgroup"? What does that mean? I thought you only had to
> post in it without reading anything.

Well, that's obvious.

> At least that's the impression I get frOm yu SCott, because you
> obviously didn't bother reading a previous pOst of mine in which
> I said I'd been reading this group for years.

Then you have no excuse, do you?

> Typical semi-newbie trying to play the self-proclaimed expert
> and guardian of the newsgrope. (and yes, that spelling was
> intentional).

Whatever. You're awfully defensive for someone trying to prove how
sophisticated they are.

> I like the way you grovel to Baato sensei by confessing your
> previous sins against the Great One. Poacher turned gamekeeper, eh?

Well, I used to skim this NG "for years," just like you. I generally
only looked at the subjects of the posts and didn't bother to read the
contents of most of them. For that reason, I didn't know who Bart was
(in the sense that I didn't know that he was a regular poster who goes
to a great deal of trouble to provide answers to the many questions
people trying to learn Japanese ask here -- his status in "real life" is
largely irrelevant on Usenet). So I misunderstood one of his posts (I
took him for just a smart alec) and flamed him.

As for your obvious feelings of resentment toward "Baato sensei," all I
can say is: Get over them or put him in your killfile. And if you've got
it in for me, put me in your killfile, too. This will save you
unnecessary irritation.
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com

Scott Reynolds

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:

> What they don't realise is they only succeed in making themselves a
> laughing stock and / or causing serious offence.

Well, that's something we could say about a lot of people, Richard.
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com


Dave

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:

> Sean Holland wrote:
>
> > In article <35557BD4...@clara.co.uk>, Richard Kaminski
> > <inter...@clara.co.uk> wrote:
> > (snip)
> > >

> > >I like the way you grovel to Baato sensei by confessing your
> > >previous sins against the Great One. Poacher turned gamekeeper, eh?
> >
> >

> > カミンスキ、何だよ、お前は。どうしてお前はいつもやっかいなことばかり書い
> >
> > てるか。おじゃま虫だね。
> >
> > --
> > Sean
> > Visualize whirled peas.
>

> Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're ever

> going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
> system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group) can't
> read.
>

> Congratulations on your tremendous (for you) intellectual achievement.

If you can't and want to read Japanese posts, it's quite simple. Try
www.njstar.com for free software to view Japanese pages. Other more
technically proficinet will of course tell you more advanced ways of acheving
the same results, but NJStar makes it simple for compu-illiterate persons like
myself.

You can also make some Japanese friends this way too, via email
Dave


Dave

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

That's enough thank you boys and girls. I know I haven't been forced to read
these posts but it'd be much more appropriate if you continued your argument
via email. It makes it easier for the rest of us to sort through what is
otherwise I very informative group.

Dave

Dave

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

That's enough thank you boys and girls. I know I haven't been forced to read
these posts but it'd be much more appropriate if you continued your argument
via email. It makes it easier for the rest of us to sort through what is
otherwise a very informative group.

Dave

Reuben Muns

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Richard Kaminski <inter...@clara.co.uk> wrote:

>Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're ever
>going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
>system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group) can't
>read.
>

I find it rather strange that anyone whose system can't handle
Japanese would be interested in a newsgroup whose subject is the
Japanese language.

Reuben

Reuben Muns

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May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

"John Miller" <j...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>Richard Kaminski wrote in message <3555FD33...@clara.co.uk>...
>

>>Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're ever
>

> ^^^^^^^^
>Suspected Brit . . .
>

I would suspect, since his address ends in "uk", that he is,
indeed, British.

Reuben

Richard Kaminski

unread,
May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Reuben Muns wrote:

> Richard Kaminski <inter...@clara.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >Very good Seanie! You've finally realised that the OnLy way you're
> ever

> >going to wIn aN argument with mE is by posting in a language whIch my
>
> >system (not to mention those of many other readers of this group)
> can't
> >read.
> >
> I find it rather strange that anyone whose system can't handle
> Japanese would be interested in a newsgroup whose subject is the
> Japanese language.
>
> Reuben

I wondered when you were going to chip in again Reuben. But I would have
thought you could have done better than this. Read your post again. What
are you implying? That because I don't have Japanese set up on my
computer, I shouldn't be interested in Japanese?

Ever heard of books, Reuben? You know, the things made out of dead trees
which used to be popular before the Internet. I live near a Japanese
bookshop where I can buy anything in that language that I could possibly
want to read, including the same day's newspaper, printed in London by
satellite.

And before you say that it's free on the Internet, well no it ain't.
because over here, like in Japan, we have to pay for local phone calls.
And unlike Japan there's no telehoudai.
So I don't feel a very great need to install a method of reading
Japanese on the Web or in newsgroups. If this one used more Japanese
coding then I might think about it, but it doesn't really seem
necessary. After all when referring to kanji, you can give the JIS (or
whatever) code so there's no real need for this on a newsgroup where the
language of communication is English.

So I have to hear it from you, is it OK for me to be interested in
Japanese despite not having it on my computer? Please tell me it's so,
Reuben, otherwise I'll have to throw
all my Japanese books away.


Gerald B Mathias

unread,
May 11, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/11/98
to

Sean Holland (seho...@unspam.islandnet.com) wrote:

: $B%+%_%s%9%-!"2?$@$h!"$*A0$O!#$I$&$7$F$*A0$O$$$D$b$d$C$+$$$J$3$H$P$+$j=q$$(J
: $B$F$k$+!#$*$8$c$^Cn$@$M!#(J

I guess I'm going to have to dig up the motivation to make my computer
JIS compatible. I'd better try Lynx and see if www.njstar.com
has anything for OS/2.

"ka mi n su ki (punctuation mark) ?? ha ?? usite ... ha i tu mo ... ka i
na ko no ba ka ... i te ru ka ... ji ... ma ... ne." Hard to believe
only 16, 17 years ago I could read and write that stuff.

Meanwhile, I copied this down for my home computer, which does display
JIS as real moji.

Kenji Adzuma

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

In article <sehollan-100...@199-175-107-45.islandnet.com>,
seho...@unspam.islandnet.com (Sean Holland) wrote:

> カミンスキ、何だよ、お前は。どうしてお前はいつもやっかいなことばかり書い
>てるか。おじゃま虫だね。

そうだそうだ。 おまえの かーちゃん で、べ、そ!

>--
>Sean
>Visualize whirled peas.

--
Kenji Adzuma
kenji...@earthlink.net or adz...@rockvax.rockefeller.edu

Richard Kaminski

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

Gerald B Mathias wrote:

Coming from Seanie, it had to be something sensible, didn't it.


Scott Reynolds

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:

> which used to be popular before the Internet. I live near a Japanese
> bookshop where I can buy anything in that language that I could possibly
> want to read, including the same day's newspaper, printed in London by
> satellite.

Cool. Here in Japan they still use things called "printing presses" to
print newspapers. I guess you're way ahead of us over there in England.
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com

Richard Kaminski

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

Scott Reynolds wrote:

So sorry Scott. I forgot that when dealing with utter imbeciles, one
has to take great care to spell out the exact meaning of every phrase
and take nothing, no nothing at all, no common sense, no knowledge, for
granted.

As you correctly say, the newspaper is printed .. by .. a .. PRINTING
PRESS.
Not a satellite

However, in the case I was mentioning, the INFORMATION to print that
day's Japanese newspaper comes by satellite, and it is then printed by
PRINTING PRESS locally.

Please enquire further if there is anything else you don't understand or
if you want to make a bigger arsehole of yourself than you're already
doing. We need to waste more bandwidth.


Scott Reynolds

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:

> However, in the case I was mentioning, the INFORMATION to print that
> day's Japanese newspaper comes by satellite, and it is then printed by
> PRINTING PRESS locally.

I see. And in the UK this is referred to as "printing by satellite"?

Fascinating.

> We need to waste more bandwidth.

Ah. I suspected that this was your true intention all along. ;-)
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com

Frampton Steve R

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

Richard Kaminski (inter...@clara.co.uk) wrote:
:
: So sorry Scott. I forgot that when dealing with utter imbeciles

[snip]

: Please enquire further if there is anything else you don't understand or


: if you want to make a bigger arsehole of yourself

[snip]

Ever hear the expression, "self-defining exercise"?

--------------< LINUX: The choice of a GNU generation. >--------------
Steve Frampton <3s...@qlink.queensu.ca> http://qlink.queensu.ca/~3srf

Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND

unread,
May 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/12/98
to

On Sun, 10 May 1998 21:32:08 +0100, Richard Kaminski
<inter...@clara.co.uk> wrote:

>Another stupid gaijin joke poster. This kind of "joke" reminds me of
>English learners who seem to think it's OK to use every obscenity in the
>book because it sounds funny to them and doesn't have the same
>connotations in their minds as the equivalent words would have in their
>native language.
>

>What they don't realise is they only succeed in making themselves a
>laughing stock and / or causing serious offence.
>

What's the problem? I'm playing with the opportunities the language
offers. My mother tongue is German and I'm doing the same things in
German or any other language too - do I tell "stupid gaijin jokes"
when I use German in Germany?;-)
Japanese people don't have the same humor as Germans, so I need to
find other ways. Don't worry, I never made anybody angry about these
jokes (except of a few germanic philologists around here;-)) and the
people usually laugh with me, not about me. But I told him to be
careful, as these jokes could be misunderstood. You shouldn't use them
when you are not yet sure in the use of Japanese...
The examples given were simple, just to give a direction and some are
even used by Japanese. Show me someone who can make such jokes without
a certain knowledge of the language...

bye,

Richard Kaminski

unread,
May 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/13/98
to

Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND wrote:

Sure Olaf. Nothing personal in all this. But it seemed to me like the
equivalent of responding to "Good morning" with "Well, I don't think
it's that good!"

Ie something that a foreigner might find amusing, but which a native
speaker would tire of rather rapidly after hearing it for the first
dozen or so times.


Matthew Salter

unread,
May 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/13/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote:
>
> because the gaijin saLter dOesn't understand japanese weLL
> enugh tO understand japanese humOr.
>
> but the wOrst thing is that he therefOre cOncLudes
> that there is nO japanese humOr, just because he is tOO
> ignrant tO understand it

Well done Richard, another crack at people who you don't know - missed
the bus again. Whilst not yet perfect, I think that I understand
Japanese just fine, or at least the people at Toyota thought so when I
used to interpret for them. As for the "being too ignorant to
understand it", I'm amazed that you can't see the irony in making such a
critique of my humour appreciation when you apparentl;y think that the
hight of comedy is to spray capital letters around all over the place -
boy that just cracks me up.

My original post was meant to be ironic, but maybe it was a little too
subtle for you. Yes, there are comedy shows on TV in Japan, most of
them of the very direct and unsophisticated "slapstick" style. The rest
are largely composed of making other people look stupid and hitting
people over the head with large mallets - stop, you're killing me.
"Vocabulary Tengoku" is not bad IMHO and it is (at least was when I was
in Japan) the most subtle humouir on TV. Hama-chan and Ma-chan are
worthy of a grin, but manzai has never been a big hit with me. Comedy
in Japan seems to consist of "being outrageous" in a way that is comical
in it's very choreographed-ness. The "whacky" and "way out" stuff on
Japanese TV is less spontaneous and funny than stuff that you see on the
street in most western countries (except maybe Germany).

Now if I could understand what they were on about in Rakugo, that would
be something...

So today's take home message is: don't take potshots at people before
you know what they're about. Oh and less of the CapitlisAtiOn - it
makes you look like a prick.

Matthew

Matthew Salter

unread,
May 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/13/98
to

Sean Holland wrote:
>
> In article <3551B0...@ic.ac.uk>, m.sa...@ic.ac.uk wrote:
>
> >Laughter is not big in Japan.
>
> Huh? You can't have ever been there then. It's one of the laughingest
> places around.

I used to live there and I can't say that I was killing myself laughing
over comedy on TV. I never got off on that slapstick stuff - I prefer
political satire - now that's something of which there is very little on
Japan.

Matthew

Sean Holland

unread,
May 13, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/13/98
to

I wasn't aware that the discussion was limited to TV comedy. In fact,
that never occurred to me. I was thinking of the many hours I have spent
in an uproar of laughter and hilarity with my Japanese friends. I lived in
Japan for 8 years and I doubt a day went by when I didn't share a few
healthy belly laughs with the people I worked and played with.
But TV? Well, I always thought "Fuuun! Takeshi-jo" was a scream, but
then I like seeing people blown off little rope bridges by maniacs with a
volley-ball cannon. The game in which they had people in foam-rubber
bowling pin costumes stand at the bottom of a hill while the maniacs
rolled a giant papier-mache bowling ball at them still makes me smile when
I think of it. And having people try to run across a giant rotating
cylinder suspended over a pit of mud...great fun. I knew several other
foreigners who got all huffy over that show and criticized the "sadism",
but the people stood to win money, they lined up to apply for the show,
and they were smiling as they went into the mud. Funnier than Seinfeld, if
you ask me.

Allan

unread,
May 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/14/98
to

Richard Kaminski wrote in message <3554F410...@clara.co.uk>...
:Gerald B Mathias wrote:
:
:> Scott Reynolds (s...@gol.com) wrote:
:> : Richard Kaminski wrote:
:>
:> : > Let me teLL yu - they were being pOLite
:> : >
:> : > it's a rather stupid gaijin kind Of jOke that they make
:> : > when they start pLaying with wOrds
:>
:> : Richard, this "funny capitalization" joke is getting kinda old,
:> doncha
:> : think?
:>
:> The poor guy has a broken keyboard. Can't do lower case "o" or "l."
:> I wonder whether his "9" and "." work, or does he get "(" and ">"?
:>
:> I wonder if the nature of his "contributions" to this group are a
:> result of crack or something? Only one has had to do with Japanese
:> ("What does 'kuri' mean?"); all the rest are people-bashing.
:>
:> Bart
:
:
:Ha! At last I have been looked down upon by the great master Baato
:sensei from
:his lofty perch. At least he was the only one to notice that I did have
:a broken
:keyboard, and it was indeed the o and the l (and yes the 9 and . were
:broken too)
:You obviously know more about this problem than I do ....
:
:Mind you, after so many people reacted to the weird capitalisatiOn, I
:did in
:fact think it was quite fUnny and continued dOing in for one more post
:after I'd replaced
:my keyboard. I might still carry on doing it now, it's a bit more
:creative than the usual stuff.
:
:How perspicacious of you, venerable Baato-sensei, to notice that all
:(except one) of
:my posts are "people bashing". Presumably, coming from you, this is a
:compliment,
:seeing as you appear to actively approve of that activity. (Re your
:comment in defence of the (people bashing) esteemed professor Breem
:after his
:attack of sarcasm on Tanaka - better than whom you lot claim to be.
:
:I don't need to be on crack, Baato-sama, to know a hypocrite when I see
:one.


Now now, be civil...

I only had one swipe at you, and I believe that you made some comment about
a keyboard in your reply... I must admit to being a bit curious as to how
only
several chars were in caps, but with the way kbd controllers work/dont
work...

You'll find that Bart listed the keys in a column on the keyboard (well,
they are in a column in the matrix under the buttons...)

One unstated rule of SLJ appears to be: "Tanaka is in-season all year
around."
With a small footnote: "An' dose wot defends 'im too."

Allan.
(Same bat-time, same bat-sh**.)

Mike Wright

unread,
May 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/14/98
to

Matthew Salter wrote:
>
> Sean Holland wrote:
> >
> > In article <3551B0...@ic.ac.uk>, m.sa...@ic.ac.uk wrote:
> >
> > >Laughter is not big in Japan.
> >
> > Huh? You can't have ever been there then. It's one of the laughingest
> > places around.
>
> I used to live there and I can't say that I was killing myself laughing
> over comedy on TV. I never got off on that slapstick stuff -

Yes, but lots of Japanese do seem to find it funny--as many Americans
did from the days of vaudeville up through the Stooges, Abbott and
Costello, and Jerry Lewis. (I think that the Marx Brothers could be
taken at either level.) And, of course, there's Benny Hill for the
British. (That's an old friend of mine, Keith Nelson, playing banjo in
those BH re-runs.)

>I prefer political satire - now that's something of which there is very
> little on Japan.

Back sometime in the late 1970s, I saw a hilarious little TV sketch
about a working woman coming home to her house husband. It really stood
out from the rest of what I was seeing on TV. It was pretty subtle in
presentation--no mugging--just a complete reversal of roles.

I'm not sure what Sean was thinking of, but I knew lots of Japanese
jokers. In addition to my shodou sensei, there were all my Bluegrass
buddies. They were always joking and laughing about something--even
playing practical jokes. They were also big on mugging for the camera.
Come to think of it, I have lots of photos of Japanese
friends--including the infamous Nezumi-chan and her sister as
adults--that have a kind a Jerry Lewis quality.

--
Mike Wright
http://www.scruz.net/~darwin/language.html
________________________________________________________
"Let those who don't want none have memories of
not gettin' any." --Brother Dave Gardner

Matthew Salter

unread,
May 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/14/98
to

Mike Wright wrote:

> And, of course, there's Benny Hill for the
> British. (That's an old friend of mine, Keith Nelson, playing banjo in
> those BH re-runs.)

Arrghh ! Please, no ! Benny Hill represents the very *worst* of
British humour. It was screened on ITV (very downmarket when compared
to BBC) in the 70's and 80's and was not considered that funny even
then. It is perhaps the fate of every country to be best known for some
of its worst things. Benny Hill is a case in point for the UK. It was
tabloid comedy. Considering the many excellent sitcoms and comedy shows
that were on TV at the time (The Good Life, Rising Damp, Monty Python's
Flying Circus, Dad's Army, Some Mother's Do 'Ave 'Em etc. etc.) it is a
point of not inconsiderable irritation to many British that Benny Hill
seems to be the only show for which Britain is famous. Maybe it sold
well in the States prcisely because it was in the US slapstick
tradition. Personally, I thought it was an embarrasment.

Matthew

Sean Holland

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May 14, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/14/98
to

In article <355AB9...@scruznet.com>, Mike Wright <dar...@scruznet.com>
wrote:

(snip)


>I'm not sure what Sean was thinking of, but I knew lots of Japanese

>jokers. (snip)
I think you may have got your attributions mixed up, Mike. I'm of the
"lots of laughter in Japan" school. I couldn't stay interested for so long
in something that didn't afford me many opportunities for chuckles,
guffaws and so on.

Roger Morris

unread,
May 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/15/98
to

Sean Holland wrote:
> But TV? Well, I always thought "Fuuun! Takeshi-jo" was a scream, but
> then I like seeing people blown off little rope bridges by maniacs with a
> volley-ball cannon. The game in which they had people in foam-rubber
> bowling pin costumes stand at the bottom of a hill while the maniacs
> rolled a giant papier-mache bowling ball at them still makes me smile when
> I think of it. And having people try to run across a giant rotating
> cylinder suspended over a pit of mud...great fun.
. . .

> Funnier than Seinfeld, if you ask me.

Perhaps it's all a matter of perspective, but if I had seen the
above on TV, I also probably would have argued that Japanese
don't seem to have a sense of humor. :->

--Roger

Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND

unread,
May 15, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/15/98
to

A way to strike back for all those "can you use chopsticks", "have you
ever eaten sushi", "oh, you speaku a berry goodo japaneezu"?;-)
I think the problem lies in the education in Japan. Its one of the
best standardized countries, most people speak, think, move and feel
the same way and they are not used with braking out of that.
Unfortunately I never found out his name, but there is a very good
japanese comedian playing with his language. (He also wrote a song
about the differences of hamburger salers, depending on their blood
type - anyone knows whom I mean?)

Bye,

Olaf

--
Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND, JAIG#133 HU Berlin, Chinese&Japanese Department
DF0BLM page at http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/dd6uts

muchan

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May 18, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/18/98
to

> Unfortunately I never found out his name, but there is a very good
> japanese comedian playing with his language. (He also wrote a song
> about the differences of hamburger salers, depending on their blood
> type - anyone knows whom I mean?)
>

I'm not sure if he is, but this reminds me the name 'Issee Ogata'.

muchan


Matthew Salter

unread,
May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

This extremely talented actor and comedian recently did a season of
shows in London's West End and I had the very great pleasure of going to
see him. It was a marvellous show and was appreciated by the
Japanese-speaking and the non-Japanese speaking alike (there was a
simultaneous translation service). For those of you (if there are any)
who have not heard of or seen Issey Ogata, I urge you to go to one of
his shows if he comes to a town near you. He frequently tours outside
of Japan and is in constant demand, so you may well get a chance to see
him. As for me, I can't wait till he comes back to the UK. If you
haven't guessed yet, I'm a huge fan !

Matthew

Atsushi Furuta

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May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

>> In article <355c764f...@newshost.rz.hu-berlin.de>,

h044...@blablarz.hu-berlin.de (Olaf Fichtner, DL7UND) writes:

> (He also wrote a song
> about the differences of hamburger salers, depending on their blood
> type - anyone knows whom I mean?)

He is Kamon Tatsuo.
--
furuta

Richard Kaminski

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May 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM5/21/98
to

Matthew Salter wrote:

> muchan wrote:
> >
> > > Unfortunately I never found out his name, but there is a very good
>

> > > japanese comedian playing with his language. (He also wrote a song


>
> > > about the differences of hamburger salers, depending on their
> blood
> > > type - anyone knows whom I mean?)
> > >
> >

> > I'm not sure if he is, but this reminds me the name 'Issee Ogata'.
>
> This extremely talented actor and comedian

Have you taken over his PR account or something?

> recently did a season of
> shows in London's West End and I had the very great pleasure of going
> to
> see him. It was a marvellous show and was appreciated by the
> Japanese-speaking and the non-Japanese speaking alike (there was a
> simultaneous translation service).

I didn't go myself, but I do have some non-Japanese speaking friends who
went. All three of them said that they didn't find the interpreted show
funny. But they said the original must have been good because the
Japanese members of the audience were killing themselves laughing.

> For those of you (if there are any)
> who have not heard of or seen Issey Ogata, I urge you to go to one of
> his shows if he comes to a town near you. He frequently tours outside
>
> of Japan and is in constant demand, so you may well get a chance to
> see
> him.

Yes, I'd say you've DEFINITELY taken over his PR account. Which agency
do you work for?

> As for me, I can't wait till he comes back to the UK. If you
> haven't guessed yet, I'm a huge fan !
>
> Matthew

And you're transparent too.


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