Joke for Geoscientists
Callum Baxter
What's the difference between a geophysicist and a black Nigerian whore?
One has a black box that works!
Jo Schaper
"Callum Baxter" <cal...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>What's the difference between a geophysicist and a black Nigerian whore?
>One has a black box that works!
So sorry, that's not even a .00000001 on the humor Richter scale.
Jo Schaper
scha...@mail.idt.net
StonyMeteor
How about this one ?
"Geologists make the bed rock" !
heheheheh, hope you are enjoying this too!
-Jaco
StonyMeteor
nope !
I'm into "hard rock" <hehe>
-Jaco
Justin
are you a geophysicist perchance?
Jo Schaper
StonyMeteor <nos...@geoserver1.aau.dk> wrote:
>-Jaco
That is at least approaching clever. I'm not offended easily. I work
with mostly men. But if it ain't clean, it better be funny.
Jo
wellsite geologist (TVL)
> So sorry, that's not even a .00000001 on the humor Richter scale.
>
> Jo Schaper
> scha...@mail.idt.net
It would be if you were here in the middle of the North Sea
where I am!
Keith Morrison
Jo Schaper wrote:
> >How about this one ?
>
> >"Geologists make the bed rock" !
>
> >heheheheh, hope you are enjoying this too!
>
> with mostly men. But if it ain't clean, it better be funny.
> Jo
A geologist is the only person who can can talk to a woman and
use the words "dike" "thrust" "bed" and "orogeny" in the same
sentence without facing a civil suit.
-----
An geo-engineer, geologist and geophysicist apply for a job.
During their interviews each is asked one question: "What is
2+2?"
The geo-engineer pulls out a calculator, works on it for a bit
and announces "3.999999999999999."
The geologist thinks about it and says "Well, about 4 plus or
minus 1."
The geophysicist looks around, leans forward and whispers "What
do you want it to be?"
--
Keith "I'm a geologist, not a comedian" Morrison
kei...@polarnet.ca
Tedd F. Sperling
Hi:
Here's an old joke that some may appreciate.
|--------------|--------------|
| | |
| | | |
| -O- | @ |
| | | |
| | |
|--------------|--------------|
Given the above, namely a dry well on the left and a producing well on
the right, the following are the interpretations from some petroleum
professions.
The interpretation of:
a) The Petroleum Engineer:
|--------------|--------------|
| | |
| | | |
| -O- | (@) |
| | | |
| | |
|--------------|--------------|
b) The Landman:
|--------------|--------------|
| |//////////////|
| | |//////////////|
| -O- |///////@//////|
| | |//////////////|
| |//////////////|
|--------------|--------------|
c) The Geologist:
|--------------|--------------|
| | .------. |
| | | //////\\\\ |
| -O- | (|||||@||||) |
| | | \\\\\///// |
| | '------' |
|--------------|--------------|
d) The Geophysicist:
|--------------|--------------|
| .------. | |
| /////|\\\\ | |
| (||||-O-|||) | @ |
| \\\\\|//// | |
| '------' | |
|--------------|--------------|
:-)
Tedd
Tedd F. Sperling
Geophysicist CPG-2297
Sperling Geophysics Corporation
_____________________________________________________________________
<mailto:te...@sperling.com>
http://sperling.com/geophysics.html
wbrownlee
And another old one:
|
|> Thrust fault
|
|>
|
|
|
|
|D Normal fault
|
|
I
-O- Engineer's fault
I
Callum Baxter wrote in message <6b9rfr$2et$2...@yeppa.connect.com.au>...
Thomas Kuipers
Generaly I can appreciate Tedd's kind of graphic-jokes very well, but
I must admit that I don't understand a bit of this
'dry-well/producing- well'-joke. I'm not a Geo-scientist (which is the
problem of course) but I'm never to young to learn something new.
To encourage someone to do a bit of explanation, I'll send one of my
favourites, though it's a bit out of date since cows act normal again.
Fixed pitched font required of course!
Bye, Thomas.
PS The ultimate goal is of course to design your own cow. Mine's at
the bottom.
Cows, cows and more cows
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow
(__) (__)
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ | ||
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cow in water Cow in trouble
O__O \_|_/
(oo) (oo)
/-------\/ /-------\/
/ | || / | ||
* ||----|| * ||----||
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty
| | (__) | | \ (__)
| | (oo) | | \ (oo)
| | /-------\/ | | -----------\/--
| | / | || | | ----| |---
| | * ||----|| | | --------
| \______^^____^^___ | \_________________
| _________________ | _________________
| / | /
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
/ \ / \
Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree.
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| \_________________
| _________________
| /
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| | (__)
| | *---------(..)
/ \ ^^----^^\/
Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt.
(__) _--------_
(oo) |__________| BIG
/-------\/ XXXXXXXXXX MAC
/ | 007 || __________
* ||----|| |_ _|
^^ ^^ --------
Cow licenced to kill Enemy Cow after having met previous
cow
(__)___________________________________________________________(__)
(oo) Cowaxial Cable (oo)
\/_____________________________________________________________\/
o o (__) ^
\ / (oo) /
\ / _____\/___/
(__) \__/ / /\ / /
(oo) _______(oo) ^ / * /
/---------\/ /| ___ \/ / ___/
/ | x=a(b)|| / | { }|| *----/\
* ||------|| * ||{___}|| / \
^^ ^^ ||-----|| / /
^^ ^^ ^ ^
Mathematical Television This cow does Disco
Cow Cow (That's what comes of
(developer of (Cow-thode snorting cow-caine)
cow-culus) Ray Tube)
(__)
(??)
/-------/\
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^
Cow not understanding a joke
--
Thomas Kuipers (+31)(0)35 5262601 / GSM 06 53519017
Spaarne 18 N52"18'.269 E05"15'.282 MET/UT+1 MEZT/UT+2
1273 WB Huizen E-mail: t.ku...@net.hcc.nl
The Netherlands http://web.inter.nl.net/hcc/T.Kuipers
Tedd F. Sperling
Thomas Kuipers wrote:
>
> Generaly I can appreciate Tedd's kind of graphic-jokes very well, but
> I must admit that I don't understand a bit of this
> 'dry-well/producing- well'-joke.
Tom:
The point of my joke, was that everyone had their own interpretation of
the producing well and the dry hole. Also, everyone was right, except
for the Geophysicist.
You see, being a Geophysicist, I can poke fun at my profession. Which is
something that is normally not in character for most Geophysicists. An
ironic double pun as one might observe. But then again, maybe not.
Tedd
Tedd F. Sperling
Geophysicist CPG-2297
Sperling Geophysics Corporation
PS: I liked your cow ASCI art.
Irmund Thum
Thomas Kuipers wrote:
>though it's a bit out of date since cows act normal again.
? hmm
> Cows, cows and more cows
Sometimes the real stories are the real jokes.
How do you explain your students in a field mapping course the
necessarity to make a copy - or 2 - of their actual field
mapping work? Anywhere in the evening to sit in the base camp and to
repaint geological field mapping is no real amusement.
But most students will agree to this aditional work if they ever heard
this real life story:
For his master degree a student did geological field mapping work in the
mountains of Austria. And as it is, there is quite a
lot of farming land. It is a strange feeling if you detect a nice
outcrop between all those green meadows, and just there is a
pasture with oxes. You'd better prepare with some big salt pieces along
the fence to make the beasts friendly (of course do not dress red).
The mentioned guy had luck, there were cows - no bulls. After some
greeting ceremonies he entered the meadow, the curious cows
followed for a while and then he could do his fieldmapping just quietly.
At noon it was hot and he found a shady place near a little tree. He
made picknick, took some stones to weight down the
field map and painted his observations down. At any point he wasn't sure
where this specific sample with the greenish colored
rocks was taken from. He left the picknick place and walked to that
point along the peaceful grazing cows. He arrived, made
some notices about the outcrop and turned around to go back to the place
where he left his map.
At this moment - nobody has a video - his eyes turned frog-like and the
outcry from his chest over the hills of Austria was similar like the one
of
Jurassic Tyrannosaurus Rex.
One of this peaceful grazing cows was grazing at this shady picknic
place - and the actual meal seemed to be a long piece of paper...
- of course the man did not have a copy!
cheers
want some more stories about cows?
__
IT
http://home.kiss.de/~i_thum/
http://home.kiss.de/~i_thum/JS_tutorial/JS_beginners.html
Thomas Kuipers
>
>The point of my joke, was that everyone had their own interpretation of
>the producing well and the dry hole. Also, everyone was right, except
>for the Geophysicist.
The problem for me is the 'Also'. What's wrong? Please explain me some
more about the interpretations, related to the professions.
>
>You see, being a Geophysicist, I can poke fun at my profession. Which is
>something that is normally not in character for most Geophysicists. An
>ironic double pun as one might observe. But then again, maybe not.
Riddles again. I've only met one geophysicist in my life. An amarican,
good humoured and very self-reflecting.
Bye, Thomas.
FKoe
On Sun, 08 Feb 1998 13:55:32 +0100, Irmund Thum <i_t...@kiss.de>
wrote:
>One of this peaceful grazing cows was grazing at this shady picknic
>place - and the actual meal seemed to be a long piece of paper...
>
>- of course the man did not have a copy!
cows are kind compared to goats. They nibble at anything that tastes
salty. When mapping in the Italian Alps, one day I took shelter from a
sudden thunderstorm in a stone barn. Outside hell broke loose, I was
dry; until suddenly clickediclack outside - the goats wanted to get
into their barn too. Short hesitation, then they came in. Soon
everybody in the barn was busy regurgitating, except myself; but the
goats next to me nibbled at my pants so determinedly that I had to
fight them off as long as I was in their company. It was like being a
blonde in a crowded Italian subway. They nearly undressed me. I had to
salvage my map more than once from a goat's curiosity; they have an
amazing ability to appear out of nowhere at the most unlikely places,
and always when you are impeded with your pants down.
Falk Koenemann
FKoe
pere...@T-Online.de --> correct @@@ to @
Aachen, Germany
________________________________________________
Daddy, what does it mean, "Formatting C"?
Paul van den Bergen
t.ku...@net.hcc.nl (Thomas Kuipers) wrote:
>Cows, cows more cows...
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| \_________________
| _________________
| /
| |
| |
| |__)
| |oo)
/--| |\/
/ | | |
* ||-| |
^^/ \
Coward?
mdx882
(view with fixed font)
--
It's time for cow appreciation class:
(__) (__)
[##] (@o)
/-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__)
/ | || / | || / | || (oo)
* ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~
This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to
to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman
Ian Hunt
On 12 Feb 1998, FKoe wrote:
> On Sun, 08 Feb 1998 13:55:32 +0100, Irmund Thum <i_t...@kiss.de>
> wrote:
>
> >One of this peaceful grazing cows was grazing at this shady picknic
> >place - and the actual meal seemed to be a long piece of paper...
> >
> >- of course the man did not have a copy!
>
> cows are kind compared to goats. They nibble at anything that tastes
> salty.
<snip>
> ability to appear out of nowhere at the most unlikely places,
> and always when you are impeded with your pants down.
I haven't had a lot of experience with either of the above, but.. The
sheep esp English Lake District, seem to have a passion for anything out
of walkers rucksacks, and lunch from you hands (even if not offered).
My only thought is.. are all farmed animals so passionate about the
property of humans in the wild!
All The Best....
___ _ _ _
|_ _|__ _ _ _ | |_| |_ _ _ _| |_ /------------------------------------\
| |/ _` | ' \ | _ | || | ' \ _| |Views expressed are mine and do not |
|___\__,_|_||_| |_| |_|\_,_|_||_\__| |always represent those of any group |
|to which I am affiliated. So only |
Email: I.J....@uea.ac.uk \-----\gripe at me! /----------------/
Web: http://www.uea.ac.uk/~w9631208/ \-----------/
UEA SUDOE Web: http://www.uea.ac.uk/~sudoe/
--
To agree or not I leave it to you!
"Walk! Not bloody likely.
I am going in a taxi."
Bernard Shaw.
Jo Schaper
mdx882 <NOSPAM...@flash.net> wrote:
Cows are also an epigean species which often occur, and are an outward
sign of cave entrances. Just follow the cow sign to the cool.
Seriously, folks, after so many years of finding cows above caves
(and dead cows in sinkholes) I posited a new species of bat, with
small horns, species name: Moootis Angus. And there were those among
the speleologists who read the text, and verily, believed....
Jo
Donald Stierman
In article <34DBF3B7...@polarnet.ca>, kei...@polarnet.ca says...
>
>A geologist is the only person who can can talk to a woman and
>use the words "dike" "thrust" "bed" and "orogeny" in the same
>sentence without facing a civil suit.
You left out "cleavage" and "subduction"
And for Valentine's Day, some surface wave stuff - "I Raleigh Love her."