Economics Jokes
Robin Hood
I thought all you economist bashing types out there would a luagh out of
these.
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Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for
saying exactly the opposite thing.
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A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two
equal?" The mathemetician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four,
exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and
says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question
"What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four -
give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question
"What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door,
closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you
want it to equal?"
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Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The
first econometrician fired, but missed, by a metre to the left. The
second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a metre to the right.
The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it!
We got it!"
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Three economists and three mathematicians were going on a trip by train.
Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets (they could count
to three) and the economists only one. The mathematicians were happy
because they thought their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine.
Hovewer when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three
economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that
somebody was in the bathroom, knocked on the door and in reply saw a hand
with the ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket
price. The next day the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy -
they bought only one ticket, but the economists did not buy any tickets at
all. When the mathematicians saw the conductor they went to the bathroom,
and when they heard knocking they stuck out a hand with the ticket. They
did not get it back. Why? The economists took it and went to the other
toilet.
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Q: Why did God create economists ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
[There's no hope for seismologists...]
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Three leading economists took a small plane to the wilderness in northern
Canada to hunt moose over the weekend. The last thing the pilot said was,
remember, this is a very small plane and you will only be able to bring
ONE moose back.
But of course, they killed one each and come Sunday, they talked the
pilot into letting them bring all three dead moose onboard. So just after
takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the
economists woke up, looked around and said. where the hell are we. Oh,
just about a hundred yards east of the place where we crashed last year.
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Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
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An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were were
arguing about what was God's real profession. The philosopher said,
"Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the
principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist
"Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly
he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he
created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only
complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the economist, "where do you
think the chaos came from?"
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"Murphys law of economic policy": Economists have the least influence on
policy where they know the most and are most agreed; they have the most
influence on policy where they know the least and disagree most
vehemently.
- Alan S. Blinder
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A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything
is last year.
-Marty Allen
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If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion.
-George Bernard Shaw
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If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of
them is Lord Keynes, in which case you get three opinions.
-Winston Churchill
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A sure fire way to determine if someone is an economist: Ask the suspect
"what's the difference between ignorance and indifference?" If the reply
is "I don't know and I don't care" you can be pretty sure he's an economist.
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Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a practical economist, and an old drunk are
walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred
dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are
mythological creatures.
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Pasi Kuoppamaki
>
>I thought all you economist bashing types out there would a luagh out of
>these.
>
>saying exactly the opposite thing.
>
>
>Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a practical economist, and an old drunk are
>walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred
>dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are
>mythological creatures.
>______________________________________________________________________
As these jokes were given without reference and they somehow seemed
familiar I decided to inform that these and many other jokes can be found
from my jokes collection, URL: http://www.etla.fi/pkm/joke.html
I have stress that the (original) idea of the page is not to "bash"
economics, I am an economist myself. Maybe the collection will help
to improve the attitude of some economists and other people and improve
the public image of economics as boring dismal science. Really humorous
people can also laugh at themselves.. Humor, especially economist humor,
is a serious thing! ;-)
The collection is a result of contributions from many people round
the world (though mostly US) to whom I owe a big thanks. If you have
additional meaningful real economist jokes please let me know.
Pasi Kuoppamaki http://www.etla.fi/pkm/pkm.html
ETLA, The Research Institute of the Finnish Economy
Lonnrotinkatu 4 B, 00120 HELSINKI
Phone: +358 0 609900 Fax: +358 0 601 753