A MUST READ!
Alpha
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D,
layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have
given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to
inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents
"conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two
million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the
head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small
children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you
have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen,
and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with
your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with
your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical
attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's
modern origin:
# 1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are
typically fossilized bone.
# 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic
centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified
proto-hominids.
# 3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent
with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous
man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during
that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing
hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution,
but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without
going into too much detail, let us say that:
# A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has
chewed on.
# B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your
request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the
heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due
to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic
record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced
prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly
inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we
approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with
the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name
"Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought
tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was
ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was
hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.
However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating
specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil,
it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of
work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that
our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the
display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the
Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will
happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your
back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that
you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the
Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you
expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation
of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent
juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the
deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive
crescent wrench.
Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities
Garry...@denocoinc.com
1. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1935. Some discoveries at Ratfyn, Amesbury and
their bearing on the date of Woodhenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and
Natural History Magazine, 47, 55-67
2. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1936. An enclosure on Boscombe Down East.
Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural History Magazine, 47, 466-489
3. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1938. An early Bronze Age grave in Fargo
Plantation near Stonehenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural
History Magazine, 48, 357-70
4. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1947. The Stonehenge Cursus and its affinities.
Archaeological Journal, 104, 7-19
5. STONE, JOHN F.S., & YOUNG, W.E.V., 1948. Two pits of grooved ware
date near Woodhenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural History
Magazine, 52, 287-306
6. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1949. Some grooved ware pottery from the Woodhenge
area. Proceedings of the Prehistoric Society, 15, 122-27
7. STONE, JOHN F.S., 1958. Wessex Before the Celts. Frederick A.
Praeger Publishers, New York. Library of Congress, Card No. 58-8184
http://www.britarch.ac.uk/stonehenge/stone23.html
"1950 - 1964 Professor Richard Atkinson, Professor Stuart Piggott and
Dr J F S Stone Supervised by the Ministry of Public Buildings and Works
/ Society of Antiquaries"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonehenge
"In 1950 the Society of Antiquaries commissioned Richard Atkinson,
Stuart Piggott and Marcus Stone to carry out further excavations. They
recovered many cremations and developed the phasing that still
dominates much of what is written about Stonehenge."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Stone
Dr. JFS Stone
http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Stonehenge
http://groups.google.com/group/Stonehenge-Geology
http://groups.google.com/group/Stonehenge-Geophysics
hey pop, you are wasting your time here in sci.archaeology. the
archaeologists here could care less about wikipedia's (and others')
marcus stone bad links. the archaeologists here are too busy painting
each other as smarter than their chartered other. far as we can tell,
no archaeologist here wants to do anything constructive about this.
like writing a good article about a real archaeologist, dr. jfs stone,
for wikipedia, and others. well pop, guess us kids will just keep
clicking on the marcus stone bad links for dr. jfs stone. see ya
later... john and james
Doctor Jesus For Sarsen Stone Christ.
FAR AS I can tell; You're right.
http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Stonehenge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Stone
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonehenge
Cremate, phase-in, dominate.
Dr. John F.S. Stone
see, we told ya, tdmn
the fellows don't care either, dr. john f.s. stone not a fellow
http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/page.asp?id=1727
a fellow's email said, "go to hell"
Which of The Fellows cus?
http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/page.asp?id=1727
Lists of Royal Society Fellows 1660-2004
A quick reference list of all Fellows of the Royal Society elected from
its foundation in 1660 to the present day.
Lists name, birth and death dates (where known), date of election and
membership type.
Search the Sackler Archive Resource, a biographical database of all
Fellows elected to the Royal Society since its foundation in 1660.
Alternatively download one of the PDFs ordered alphabetically by
Fellows surnames:
Fellows of the Royal Society - A (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - B (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - C (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - D (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - E (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - F (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - G (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - H (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - I (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - J (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - K (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - L (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - M (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - N (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - O (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - P (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - Q (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - R (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - S (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - T (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - U (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - V (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - W (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - Y (Adobe PDF File)
Fellows of the Royal Society - Z (Adobe PDF File)
http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/page.asp?id=1727
Which of The Fellows cus?
marcus
http://www.google.com/search?q=In+1950+the+Society+of+Antiquaries+commissioned+Richard+Atkinson,+Stuart+Piggott+and+Marcus+Stone+to+carry+out+further+excavations.+They+recovered+many+cremations+and+developed+the+phasing+that+still+dominates+much+of+what+is+written+about+Stonehenge.&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
stone
http://www.google.com/search?q=1950+-+1964+Professor+Richard+Atkinson,+Professor+Stuart+Piggott+and+Dr+J+F+S+Stone+Supervised+by+the+Ministry+of+Public+Buildings+and+Works+/+Society+of+Antiquaries&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
""
Dear All,
Yesterday (15th December 2005) there was a debate in Westminster Hall
(*) on the report of the Science and Technology Committee's report
"Scientific Publishing: Free for all?". Details of the debate are
available here:
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?d=2005-12-15
(*) For those unfamiliar with the UK parliament, Westminster Hall is a
"parallel debating chamber" to the main House of Commons chamber. It is
used for debates which do not lead to a formal vote but which are > > >
formally recognised as part of the business of the House.
Doctor AAA
""
Somebody must care about these Encyclopedia errors,
who is Doctor AAA, Fellow of the Royal Society cus?
Mr. Marcus Stone, the world famous British painter
http://www.google.com/search?q=In+1950+the+Society+of+Antiquaries+commissioned+Richard+Atkinson,+Stuart+Piggott+and+Marcus+Stone+to+carry+out+further+excavations.+They+recovered+many+cremations+and+developed+the+phasing+that+still+dominates+much+of+what+is+written+about+Stonehenge.&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
Dr. John F.S. Stone, the British archaeologist
http://www.google.com/search?q=1950+-+1964+Professor+Richard+Atkinson,+Professor+Stuart+Piggott+and+Dr+J+F+S+Stone+Supervised+by+the+Ministry+of+Public+Buildings+and+Works+/+Society+of+Antiquaries&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
MPs Care
(TheyWorkForYou.com)
http://www.theyworkforyou.com
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/user/?u=3440
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?d=2005-12-15
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?id=2005-12-15a.501.1
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?gid=2005-12-15a.501.2#c3063
"Garry Denke
Posted on 16 Dec 2005 5:01 pm
Mr. Marcus Stone, the world famous British painter
http://www.google.com/search?q=In+1950+the+Society+of+Antiquaries+commissioned+Richard+Atkinson,+Stuart+Piggott+and+Marcus+Stone+to+carry+out+further+excavations.+They+recovered+many+cremations+and+developed+the+phasing+that+still+dominates+much+of+what+is+written+about+Stonehenge.&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
is not Dr. John F.S. Stone, the British archaeologist
http://www.google.com/search?q=1950+-+1964+Professor+Richard+Atkinson,+Professor+Stuart+Piggott+and+Dr+J+F+S+Stone+Supervised+by+the+Ministry+of+Public+Buildings+and+Works+/+Society+of+Antiquaries&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
Open Access would help Encyclopedias avoid errors.
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.archaeology/browse_frm/thread/e1f17a118c2e990b?scoring=d&hl=en
Thank you. Garry W. Denke, Geologist/Geophysicist"
Who of The Fellows cus?
nobody cares about encyclopedia errors,
doctor aaa not a royal society fellow.
mps do not care about this,
http://www.theyworkforyou.com
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/user/?u=3446
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?d=2005-12-15
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?id=2005-12-15a.513.2
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?gid=2005-12-15a.513.3#c3067
sitting suspended for a division in the house.
"John Denke
Posted on 16 Dec 2005 7:55 pm
Dr. John F.S. Stone the British archaeologist:
http://www.google.com/search?q=1950+-+1964+Professor+Richard+Atkinson,+Professor+Stuart+Piggott+and+Dr+J+F+S+Stone+Supervised+by+the+Ministry+of+Public+Buildings+and+Works+/+Society+of+Antiquaries&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
is NOT Marcus Stone the great British painter:
http://www.google.com/search?q=In+1950+the+Society+of+Antiquaries+commissioned+Richard+Atkinson,+Stuart+Piggott+and+Marcus+Stone+to+carry+out+further+excavations.+They+recovered+many+cremations+and+developed+the+phasing+that+still+dominates+much+of+what+is+written+about+Stonehenge.&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
Open Access will eliminate Encyclopedia error.
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.archaeology/browse_frm/thread/e1f17a118c2e990b?scoring=d&hl=en
Many thanks. John P. Denke, Esquire/Biologist"
http://www.frsopenletter.org
http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/page.asp?id=1727
the non-signatories
see pop, waste of time... james
Marcus Stone (1840-1921)
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=Marcus+Stone+%281840-1921%29&btnG=Search
1. STONE, J.F.S., 1935. Some discoveries at Ratfyn, Amesbury and their
bearing on the date of Woodhenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural
History Magazine, 47, 55-67
2. STONE, J.F.S., 1936. An enclosure on Boscombe Down East. Wiltshire
Archaeological and Natural History Magazine, 47, 466-489
3. STONE, J.F.S., 1938. An early Bronze Age grave in Fargo Plantation
near Stonehenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural History Magazine,
48, 357-70
4. STONE, J.F.S., 1947. The Stonehenge Cursus and its affinities.
Archaeological Journal, 104, 7-19
5. STONE, J.F.S., & YOUNG, W.E.V., 1948. Two pits of grooved ware date
near Woodhenge. Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural History Magazine,
52, 287-306
6. STONE, J.F.S., 1949. Some grooved ware pottery from the Woodhenge
area. Proceedings of the Prehistoric Society, 15, 122-27
7. STONE, J.F.S., 1958. Wessex Before the Celts. Frederick A Praeger
Publishers, New York. Library of Congress, Card No. 58-8184
Christ. Rose from the dead. Stone.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=Christ.+Rose+from+the+dead.+Stone.&btnG=Search
thus, without full open access, according to all online encyclopedias,
http://www.google.com/search?q=In+1950+the+Society+of+Antiquaries+commissioned+Richard+Atkinson,+Stuart+Piggott+and+Marcus+Stone+to+carry+out+further+excavations.+They+recovered+many+cremations+and+developed+the+phasing+that+still+dominates+much+of+what+is+written+about+Stonehenge.&hl=en&lr=&filter=0
in 1950 the society of antiquaries commissioned richard atkinson
(1920-1994), stuart piggott (1910-1996) and marcus stone (1840-1921),
said marcus stone being he who a) rose from the dead in 1935, b) rose
from the dead in 1936, c) rose from the dead in 1938, d) rose from the
dead in 1947, e) rose from the dead in 1948, f) rose from the dead in
1949, g) rose from the dead in 1950, and h) rose from the dead in 1958,
to carry out further excavations. They recovered many cremations and
developed the phasing that still dominates much of what is written
about Stonehenge.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Stone.+Rose+from+the+dead.+Christ.&btnG=Google+Search
Stone. Rose from the dead. Christ.
Garry...@rock.com
Bump for Alpha