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HEARSE_OF_A_DIFFERENT_FIRE_DEPATMENT

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Dec 29, 2009, 9:33:19 AM12/29/09

<
http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif

Father Guido Sarducci shows the size of the whopper
he caught while deep-sea fishing with Richard Dawkins
three miles offshore from Miami Beach yesterday.
>
"We're waiting patiently for a bite when Richard, who's
really a Dick because he denies there's a Creator, casually
says to me: "Sarducci, don't believe the bullshit that Ed
Conrad's been spreading that men -- and most women --
are as old as coal.
<
""The bastard has NOT discovered petrified human
remains between coal veins." he told me. "The only thing
petrified is his brain."
<
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/36/Dawkins_aaconf.jpg/250px-
<
Richard "I'm NOT a Dick" Dawkins
<
Sarducci, once a star of Saturday Night Live and now
the chaplain for a large pharmaceutical company, said
he tried to defend poor Ed but this greatl y offended the British
biological theorist, world-famous author and bullshit artist.
>
Dawkins then tried to choke the humble priest who in turn
pushed Aesop's Fable into the gorgeous blue water.
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
==================================
<
PETRIFIED BONES DESTROY PETRIFIED BRAINS
<
None other than the late, great Wilton M. Krogman, one
of the world's foremost experts on human anatomy and
author of "The Human Skeleton in Forensic Medicine,"
identified one of Ed Conrad's petrified discoveries as human.
<
He patiently examined it, measured its length vs. width with
caliphers, then called it as a calvarium, which is a human skull
with the eye sockets broken off.
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG
<
A few moments later, a colleague of Krogman at the Cooper
Clinic in Lancaster. Pa., entered the room to search through
a filing cabinet when the internationally acclaimed human
anatomist told him: "Doctor, come over here and see the
oldest human skull ever found."
<
Since the specimen was found between anthracite coal veins in NE
Pennsylvania, it is geologically dated at a minimum of 280 million
years old (knocking the socks off Charlie Darwin shivering in his
grave.)
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z11calv.jpg
<
http://www.edconrad.com/images/catcalv.jpg
<
Meanwhile, Haversian canals were identified in the
cell structure, the tell-tale sign of bone. And dried
blood was found on the specimen during testing at
American Medical Laboratories in Chantilly, Va.
<
This is the official report from AML which had
performed Calculus Analysis by Crystallography.
The final report, dated April 21, 2000, was issued
by Dr. Nathan Sherman, director of laboratories.
<

> "The specimen consists of 1 irregularly
> shaped, brown calculus weighing less
> than 0.0010 grams and measuring 1X1X0.5
> mm. No nidus is observed. The calculi
> indicates a composition of dried blood
> intermingled with a few small crystals
> resembling calcium oxalate dihydrate."
<
http://www.edconrad.com/images/z12calv.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/images/z13cav.jpg
<
=====================================
<
I informed Generalisimo David Iain Greig and his Army of
Manchurian Candidates at talk.origins about Krogman's
astute pronouncement but, unfortunately, they responded
with thier usual ridicule, probably because the vast majority
are brain-dead zombies who have no desire to identify --
and accept -- truth. Probably because they've been
brainwashed.
<
Why, even one of the psuedoscientists got his jollies off
ny posting a message in response to "Apes, Men and Morons,"
the book seriously questioning the validity of the Theory of
Evoluton hat was written by no less than Earnest Hooton,
emeritus professor of anthropology at Harvard University.
<
< APES AND ED CONRAD THE MORON
<
rick <rsatt...@iglou.com> wrote to sci.anthropology, talk.origins and
sci.archaeology in response to "Apes and Ed Conrad the Moron":
<
> Ed Conrad had prompted it by stating:
<
In fact, Dr. Hooton made his feelings known -- as a true scientist
should -- when he published a book which he appropriately entitled
"Apes, Men and Morons,"
<
>:> Commented Rick:
<
>:> He (Hooton) misnamed it.
>:> Should have been "Apes and Ed Conrad the Moron."
>:> Does anyone know what institution this moron is in?
<
Yes, Douche Brain, I indeed have spent some time in an
institution.
<
The Smithsonian INSTITUTION.
Had to leave, though.
They refused to open the windows to let their stink out.
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg

http://www.thewebfairy.com/911/911/staged.htm
<
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
<
THE MOONIES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_GzwzaJuwY
<
CORRUPT GOSPELS
http://www.avilabooks.com/Jmmanuel.htm
http://www.tjresearch.info/
<
EXISTENCE OF EXTRATERRESTRIALS
http://www.billymeier.com/
<
==============
<
Before posting a reply, kindly remove both shoes and genuflect.
All sarcastic responses will be printed, then used as toilet paper.
<
========================
<
100 LARGEST U.S. NEWSPAPERS
USA Today (2,281,831; No Sunday edition)
The Wall Street Journal (2,070,498; None)
The New York Times (1,121,623; 1,680,582)
Los Angeles Times (907,997; 200,065)
Washington Post (740,947; 1,000,565)
The Daily News (708,773); 835,121)
New York Post (643,086; 427,039)
Chicago Tribune (565,679; 953,814)
Houston Chronicle (527,744; 720,711)
Dallas Morning News (477,493; 655,809)
San Francisco Chronicle (468,739; 510,844)
Newsday - New York (459,305; 521,498)
The Arizona Republic (452,016; 574,798)
Chicago Sun-Times (432,230; 359,123)
The Boston Globe (429,552; 672,882)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (396,888; 610,338)
The Star-Ledger - New Jersey (382,055; 591,272)
Star Tribune - Minneapolis (378,316; 655,198)
Detroit Free Press (370,875; 682,798)
Philadelphia Inquirer (364,974; 744,242)
The Plain Dealer - Cleveland (348,416; 463,482)
St. Petersburg Times - Florida (337,515; 432,231)
The Oregonian - Portland (332,829; 398,694)
The San Diego Union-Tribune (332,273; 363,907)
The Denver Post (321,405; 735,621)
Rocky Mountain News - Denver - (320,345; 735,621)
The Miami Herald (312,811; 429,697)
The Sacramento Bee (305,394; 341,157)
The Orange County Register - Calif. (300,972; 363,907)
St. Louis Post-Dispatch (284,473; 445,713)
The Kansas City Star (278,937; 383,123)
San Jose Mercury News (276,166; 310,520)
The Detroit News (263,703; 682,798)
The Times-Picayune - New Orleans (261,573; 288,706)
South Florida Sun-Sentinel (260,316; 359,772)
The Indianapolis Star (254,437; 357,284)
The Orlando Sentinel (251,998; 368,562)
The Sun - Baltimore (246,584; 430,675)
San Antonio Express-News (245,034; 352,974)
The Columbus Dispatch (244,280; 357,839)
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (241,556; 411,749)
Tampa Tribune (238,743; 315,407)
The Boston Herald (238,569; 150,352)
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (237,867; 401,380)
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (237,554; 333,933)
The Charlotte Observer (230,901; 282,990)
The Seattle Times (229,584; 457,010)
The Oklahoman (219,350; 294,686)
The Courier-Journal - Louisville (215,734; 276,032)
The Virginian-Pilot (198,273; 232,256)
The Cincinnati Enquirer (195,449; 296,989)
The Buffalo News (194,225; 277,921)
Omaha World-Herald (194,222; 240,026)
The Hartford Courant (190,572; 265,249)
Saint Paul Pioneer Press (190,374; 247,495)
Richmond Times-Dispatch (188,893; 226,134)
The Press-Enterprise - Riverside, CA (188,228; 185,060)
Contra Costa (CA) Times (187,042; 197,423)
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - Little Rock (184,659; 279,485)
Austin American-Statesman (184,398; 230,229)
The Palm Beach (FL) Post (181,626; 217,634)
The Record - Hackensack, NJ (179,538; 213,289)
Daily News - Woodland Hills, CA (176,548; 200,065)
The News & Observer - Raleigh, NC (176,025; 211,231)
The Tennessean- Nashville (175,834; 234,957)
The Commercial Appeal - Memphis, TN (172,195; 228,761)
The Florida Times-Union - Jacksonville (168,014; 227,391)
Democrat and Chronicle - Rochester, NY (167,696; 223,718)
Las Vegas Review-Journal (167,586; 220,723)
The Fresno Bee (166,554; 192,203)
The Providence Journal (164,980; 231,117)
Asbury Park Press - Neptune, NJ (153,557; 206,182)
The Birmingham News (153,378; 185,484)
The Des Moines Register (150,907; 239,367)
Daily Herald - Arlington Heights, IL (149,595; 149,179)
Tulsa World (148,000; 198,000)
The Honolulu Advertiser (145,197; 163,446)
The Akron Beacon Journal (143,799; 184,825)
Seattle Post-Intelligencer (141,744; 457,010)
The Grand Rapids Press (139,100; 184,848)
The Journal News - White Plains, NY (138,539; 156,566)
Dayton Daily News (135,936; 180,944)
The Blade - Toledo, OH (134,037; 176,823)
The Salt Lake Tribune (130,351; 150,852)
The News Tribune - Tacoma, WA (128,937; 143,937)
Sarasota Herald-Tribune (123,231; 145,084)
The Knoxville News-Sentinel (121,917; 153,779)
La Opinion - Los Angeles, CA (119,735; 66,973)
Philadelphia Daily News (118,822; None)
Post-Standard - Syracuse, NY (118,605; 171,967)
Morning Call - Allentown, PA (117,717; 159,383)
The News Journal - New Castle, DE (117,389; 137,849)
Lexington (KY) Herald-Leader (116,894; 147,208)
The State Columbia, SC (116,254; 148,610)
The Arizona Daily Star - Tucson (113,296; 174,427)
The Daytona Beach News-Journal (112,278; 128,312)
East Valley Tribune - Mesa, AZ (109,637; 88,115)
Albuquerque Journal (108,177; 150,787)
The Patriot News - Harrisburg, PA (102,710; 151,583)
News-Press - Fort Myers, FL(100,770; 121,163)

100 LARGEST WORLD NEWSPAPERS
Rank Title Country Circulation (000)
1 Yomiuri Shimbun Japan 14,067,000
2 The Asahi Shimbun Japan 12,121,000
3 Mainichi Shimbun Japan 5,587,000
4 Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 4,635
5 Chunichi Shimbun Japan 4,512
6 Bild Germany 3,867
7 Sankei Shimbun Japan 2,757
8 Canako Xiaoxi (Beijing) China 2,627
9 Peopleʼs Daily China 2,509
10 Tokyo Sports Japan 2,425
11 The Sun United Kingdom 2,419
12 The Chosun Ilbo South Korea 2,378
13 USA Today USA 2,310
14 The Wall Street Journal USA 2,107
15 Daily Mail UK 2,093
16 The Joongang Ilbo South Korea 2,084
17 The Dong-A Ilbo South Korea 2,052
18 Nikkan Sports Japan 1,965
19 Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,922
20 Dainik Jagran India 1,911
21 Yangtse Evening Post China 1,715
22 Sports Nippon Japan 1,711
23 The Nikkan Gendai Japan 1,686
24 Times of India India 1,680
25 Guangzhou Daily China 1,650
26 The Mirror UK 1,597
27 Yukan Fuji Japan 1,559
28 Shizuoka Shimbun Japan 1,479
29 Nanfang City News (Guangzhou) China 1,410
30 Dainik Bhaskar India 1,405
31 Sankei Sports Japan 1,368
32 Hochi Shimbun Japan 1,354
33 Yangcheng Evening News (Guangzhou) China 1,320
34 Malayala Manorama India 1,309
35 Liberty Times Taiwan 1,300
36 Thai Rath Thailand 1,200
37 New York Times USA 1,121
38 Hindustan Times India 1,108
39 Chutian Metro Daily (Wuhan) China 1,084
40 Gujarat Samachar India 1,051
41 Ananda Bazar Patrika India 1,046
42 Xinmin Evening News (Shanghai) China 1,045
43 Eenadu India 1,039
44 Nishi-Nippon Shimbun Japan 1,025
45 Kronen Zeitung Austria 1,009
46 WAZ Mediengruppe Germany 1,001
47 United Daily News Taiwan 1,000
48 China Times Taiwan 1,000
49 Daily Sports Japan 999
50 The Hindu India 989
51 Hindustan India 957
52 Beijing Evening News China 950
53 Mathrubhumi India 904
54 Los Angeles Times USA 902
55 Information Times China 900
56 Daily News Thailand 900
57 Al-Ahram Egypt 900
58 Peninsula City News China 860
59 Kom Chad Luek Thailand 850
60 Kyoto Shimbun Japan 825
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 821
62 Punjab Kesari India 817
63 Komsomolskaya Pravda Russia 817
64 Rajasthan Patrika India 804
65 Dahe Newspaper China 796
66 Chugoku Shimbun Japan 789
67 Ouest France France 783
68 Daily Sakai India 783
69 Jang Pakistan 775
70 AJ India 759
71 De Telegraaf The Netherlands 753
72 Qianjiang Evening News China 750
73 Qilu Evening News China 750
74 Nanfang Daily China 750
75 Daily Thanthi India 750
76 Moskovskiy Komsomolets Russia 750
77 Sandesh India 743
78 Daily Express UK 720
79 New York Daily News USA 715
80 The Washington Post USA 708
81 Daily Star UK 705
82 Today Evening News China 699
83 New York Post USA 686
84 Corriere della Sera Italy 677
85 Wuhan Evening News China 660
86 Modern Express China 651
87 Yanzhao Metro Daily China 650
88 Metro Express China 650
89 Zeitungsgruppe Koln Germany 628
90 Kahoku Shimpo Japan 622
91 La Repubblica Italy 622
92 Trud Russia 613
93 Beijing Youth Daily China 606
94 Chicago Tribune USA 601
95 New Express China 600
96 Daily Sunshine China 600
97 Matichon Thailand 600
98 Khao Sod Thailand 600
99 Apple Daily Taiwan 600
100 Min Sheng Pao Taiwan 600
<
"Be ashamed to die until you have won
some victory for mankind."
< -- Horace Mann
< Conclusion to commencement
< address at Antioch College, 1859
<
"I'm not quite there yet, Professor Mann.
But it isn't because I ain't trying."
< -- Ed Conrad
<
WORLDWIDE NEWS AGENCIES
Associated Press AP
African Eye NewsService
Agence France Presse
APTN
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APE
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ABC CBS NBC CNN MSNBC BBC PBS C-Span Fox News
talk.origins at Ediacara University -- David Iain Greig, anchor
<
A FEW EUROPEAN NEWSPAPERS
National Newspapers of Germany
Bild-Zeitung
Die Sueddeutsche Zeitung
Der Spiegel
Der Spiegel (English)
Die Tageszeitung
Die Welt
Die Zeit
Handelsblatt
<
National Newspapers of Italy
La Repubblica
La Stampa
Il Corriere della Sera
L'Unità
Il Sole 24 Ore
Il Manifesto
<
National Newspapers of Sweden
Aftonbladet
Dagens Nyheter
Svenska Dagbladet
<
National Newspapers of Ireland
Irish Examiner
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The Sunday Business Post
The Sunday World
<
National Newspapers of the United Kingdom
Daily Express
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Financial Times
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Sunday Mirror
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The Guardian
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