HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER PREDICTION FULFILLED .

[Intrepid]

<
RALEIGH, N.C. (Rueters) -- Investigators
have solved the mystery of where Bernard
Maddoff had hidden $21.5 billion as part
of his estimated $65 billion Ponzi scheme.
Acting on a tip from an anonymous
source -- Ed Conrad, since Ruters does
not withhold the names of anonymous
sources -- prison staff at the Butner Federal
Correction Complex near here thoroughly
searched Madoff's cell today and were
puzzled when they found 65 pairs of socks
under his bunk.
An investiagation found they were all
stuffed with crumbled $10,000 bills.
Madoff, 71, has just returned from
a hospital to continue serving out his
150-year sentence and it is strongly
doubtful that he will live long enough
to rejoin the financial community.
< It had clearly been predicted that
investigators would find the hidden
cash in his socks.
>
MORE MORE MORE
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EARLIER STORY . . .
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HAZLETON, Pa. (Rueters) -- Another
prophesy for the new decade came true
around 4:45 this morning when the late
MotherTeresa and the late George Carlin
appeared at Father Guido Sarducci's bed-
side and scared the living sh*t out of him.
Father Sarducci, who was not smoking
in bed, got up, lit a cigarette and showed
Fox News how close he came to pooping
in his pajamas.
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http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
<
This prophesy was a bit off-target because
it had explicitly stated that, when Father
Sarducci would see the ghosts, he would
swallow his cigarette.
Well, nobody's perfect.
<
Before he disapeared, Mr. Carlin forgot
to take this video he had with him.
<
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
<
============================
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AN EVEN EARLIER STORY . . . .
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PREDICTIONS FOR THE NEW DECADE . . .
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These predictions will appear in the order in which they will occur,
just like Nostradamus.
<
10 -- Rush Limbaugh has a heart attack while on vacation in Hawaii.
There are fears that he had become brain dead and a Babbling Idiot
until neurologists revealed that tests showed "The Loudmouth" has been
a Babbling Idiot for years. (Please note that the timing of this
tragic event is
a bit cloudy. It could happen early in 2010 but possibly in the waning
days of 2009)
<.
9 -- The late Mother Teresa, accompanied by the late George Carlin,
appear to Father Guido Sarducci and scare the living shit out of him.
He almost swallows his cigarette.
<
8 -- Federal agents finally discover where Bernard Madoff has been
hiding $21.5 billion all these years. Amazingly, nobody ever asked if
they could search his socks.
<
7 -- Keith Olbermann gets into a pissing match with Glenn Beck.
Olbermann wins because his urine goes approximately two feet farther.
<
6 -- Dick Cheney accidentally swallows Truth Serum and starts
rattling off horrid details of the 911 government conspiracy. It's a
two-for-one day when Tiger Woods admits being the father of 375
children.
<
5 -- Extraterrestrials make their first official contact with the
people of earth. However, within 45 minutes, they head back to their
distant galaxy, moaning that their trip was a complete waste of time.
<
4 -- George W. Bush pronouncement of "Mission Accomplished"
celebrates the 6,000th day since he first said it (The streak has now
extended for 16 years and we're still counting).
<
3 -- Evolutionists and atheists finally admit the theory of man's
evolution is a myth and replace all statues of Charles Darwin with
those of Ed Conrad. All old science textbooks are burned and new
factual ones printed.
<
2 -- Medical experts unveil a cure for all cancers, admitting they
have had it since 1953 but couldn't reveal it sooner because of the
steady cash flow.
<
1 -- Ed Conrad kicks the bucket and thousands pee on his grave
after the services. Richard Dawkins, who had traveled all the way
from Jolly Old for the funeral, waits until the sun goes down so he
can take (leave?) a healthy crap. Miraculously, tiger lillys grow
overnight on the exact
spot of his defacation and blossom the next day. Pope Benedict praises
God and declares it a freakin' miracle.
<
==============================
<
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST, YOU MORON
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath
<
MAN AS OLD AS COLE SLAW
http://www.edconrad.com
<
=========================
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