Antarctic Circle Crossing Ceremony
Chris Weddle
Some time back I wrote on the New South Polar Times of the Crossing
Ceremony aboard the ARSV Laurence M. Gould. At that time, I neglected to
report the details. Now aboard the RVIB Nathaniel B. Palmer another such
ceremony is planned. Oh Joy.
I suppose it is of value to share as many experiences as can be shared via
this medium. A difficult task in many respects, worth the effort though.
So, in the spirit of furthering the common awareness of Antarctic Fun,
Games, and all around hooey, I offer two items.
First, here is an email received from "King Neptune"
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To: All NBP <*******@nbp.polar.org>
Subject: The King is Coming!
To: All Hands, R/V NATHANIEL BROWN PALMER
From: Dr. Icut M. Deep, Royal Protocol Officer
Court of His Majesty, Neptunus Rex
Ruler of the High Seas and Especially the Southern Ones
Filchner Deep Post Office, Weddell Sea
INSTRUCTIONS CONCERNING KING NEPTUNE's VISIT
-------------------------------------------------------------------
King Neptune and his court will board the NBP exactly on or about Thursday
July 1, 1999 @ 0800 approximately when the R/V NATHANIEL BROWN PALMER
is operating South of the Antarctic Circle in the vicinity of Marguerite Bay.
2. All embryos, larvae, scabby landlubbers and neophytes must come to the
mess hall as a group for a special breakfast at 0730 sharp. The landlubbers
should be prepared for Ceremony, Ritual and Pomposity, properly attired to
meet His Majesty and His Royal Entourage. Worlds of Wrath will be Wrought on
Wriggly, Writhing Wogs Who attempt to Wrangle or Otherwise Welch on
Wearing the Wright Outerwear!
A. Each embryo, larva or scabby landlubber will wear his or her
clothing inside out and backwards, with underwear over the outerwear.
B. No USAP issue clothing will be permitted except long underwear
issued will be tolerated if worn UNDER the bearer's personal underwear
and gaiter. Neophytes without proper attire will not be admitted to the
ceremonies. That goes for embryos, larvae and scabby landlubbers also.
C. Parkas and other heavy, issue outerwear will not be needed nor
tolerated.
D. Suitable decorations to the attire should be added (e.g., colored
tape, ribbons, etc.) to please the King.
E. Decorated Sorel boots are required.
3. At approximately 0830, following breakfast, the Neophytes, embryos,
larval stages and scabby landlubbers will perform an original skit or group
song, praising the virtues of King Neptune and his court.
4. Following the woggly performance, a special README.TXT file will be read
by the special prosecutor. This file will contain certain allegations,
charges and slurs against certain members of the crew, ASA personnel and
the scientific party.
It will also contain some updated material, features and bugs received too
late for inclusion in the printed instruction manual. The court-appointed
attorney,
will represent the embryonic group.
3. Following sentencing by the King, the guilty parties will be transported
by the Sheriff and his posse to an assembly area.
4. Following the remuster, King Neptune's Royal Guards and Royal Sheriffe's
Posse will conduct the Cleansing Ceremonies.
=======YE OLDE OFFICIAL AGENDA=======
0800 King Neptune and his Royal Court board the NBP and accost Ye Younge
Neophytes, etc. at breakfast.
0830 Larvae, etc. perform for The Court
0900 Court is held and sentencing is handed down by the King.
1000 Embryos, etc. proceed to the Scouring, Initiation, or Execution
Ceremony waiting area under guidance by the Royal Posse.
1015.53562005 Disinfection Ceremonies begin.
Later, unendurably later, ... conferral of penguin status on successful,
surviving initiates.
Here is the reply I sent out, which illustrates the antics that took place
on the LMG last January or so:
----------------------------------------
To: King Neptune <********@nbp.polar.org>, All NBP <********@nbp.polar.org>
Subject: King Neptune? Yeah, right...
At 06:36 AM 6/30/99 +0100, King Neptune wrote:
>To: All Hands, R/V NATHANIEL BROWN PALMER
>From: Dr. Icut M. Deep, Royal Protocol Officer
> Court of His Majesty, Neptunus Rex
> Ruler of the High Seas and Especially the Southern Ones
> Filchner Deep Post Office, WEDDLE SEA
(If you can't spell my name correctly, please do not spell it at all)
>INSTRUCTIONS CONCERNING KING NEPTUNE's VISIT
>King Neptune and his court will board the NBP exactly on or about Thursday
...miscellaneous fecal pellets deleted...
>Later, unendurably later, ... conferral of penguin status on
>successful, surviving initiates.
Hi all,
What this "Crossing Ceremony" entails is the most mild form of hazing /
"rite of passage" / initiation activity. I object. That said, you should
know that this will be absolutely a world apart from the sort of things
done in navies, military outfits and fraternities (sororities too?) around
the world. No one will be hurt, injured, skewered, folded, spindled,
mutilated, scarred, tattooed, whipped, flayed nor have so much as their
least valued body parts placed in harm's way. I don't care, I object.
Having crossed many lines on many maps under the power of my own feet, and
having taken part in hundreds of wilderness SAR missions in deserts,
mountains, caves, blizzards, floods and forest fires, it has never seemed
necessary to legitimize or memorialize the achievement in such a manner.
Nothing was left wanting in the experience for the lack of humiliation.
Afterwards, we'd typically party and tell lies and stuff...
Hey kids! Parties are cool! Let's go to Rothera! They got two bands! They
got BEER!
Crossing Ceremonies are best left to the distant past of press gangs and
the recent past of naval aviators having their wings pinned to their
chests. Directly. No anesthetic. Very uncool.
So as I take particular objection to the practice of mutual humiliation, I
declined to take part when the LM Gould crossed the circle during the last
LTER cruise this past January and February (LOOOOOoooooonnnnnngggggg cruise!).
However I did observe and photograph the incident in detail. I did so only
because I was told and warned that it was not permitted for a
non-participant to see or report these secret rites. I do not like secret
rites. As for "warnings"...
Here is the sort of thing to expect as witnessed on the LMG:
*The Skit*
The participants conspired at first to turn the skit into a protest of the
practice of crossing ceremonies. The plan was to douse "King Neptune" and
party with a hose, water balloons made out of condoms (hey, them things
can't break...) announce the ceremony was over and leave the room.
Eventually that plan was retired which was a bummer because I really wanted
to be in on that one. Oh well.
The folks dressed up as penguins and penguin herders. The littlest person
was netted and had her stomach pumped (not really!). When ready to blow the
scientists in the skit got sprayed with Pepto Bismol from a tube and
reservoir hidden in the penguin costume. Justice, Sweet Justice...
*The Test*
Afterwards all the participants were gathered in a room. One by one they
were blindfolded and told to select a random test. A feat of strength or
something, it varies. Pick somebody up, swallow something, that sort of thing.
*The Trial*
The blindfolded individual was walked out on the back deck and presented to
"King Neptune" and "court". The blindfold was removed and someone read the
charges. These were a collection of imaginative and somewhat insulting
remarks. If you are sleeping with anyone on the ship, and it is known, it
may be mentioned as "fornicating with one of King Neptune's subjects". You
will be asked how you plead and there is no right answer.
*The Boot*
So next you had to kiss Neptune's boot. This was a Sorel with the toe
covered in mixed food products. Tabasco sauces and whatever they can come
up with. If you did it well you only had to do it once.
*The Punishment Course*
The blindfold was returned and the participants were walked through a
course where food products, assorted condiments and salad dressings and
other things far more repugnant were poured over their heads and down
beneath their clothing. Next they were walked up a ramp and made to jump
off (only about a foot). The final step was to be positioned beneath a van
where five gallon buckets of ice water were poured down on them from above.
At this point the blindfold was removed and the fun was completed.
THE END
Now I don't know what is planned here on the NBP. Something similar I
suppose. As I see it, you now have some information upon which to base your
consent or refusal, which is how it should be.
If you like to be humiliated, have foul smelling mixtures poured over and
upon you and generally be the object of endless insults then I strongly
urge you to take part in this business. Trust me, you will love it!
**BUT WEAR ISSUE CLOTHING**
Trust me on this one too, you are going to stink and ooze and slime about
something fierce and there is no reason to do that to anything you paid
for. Yeah the instructions said to not wear issue clothing. Since when does
anyone pay attention to instructions?
**AND DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS STUFF SERIOUSLY**
Otherwise, do not participate.
I will be there to observe and I encourage all others to do so. I may or
may not photograph it, I've not decided. I may or may not publish my
observations on the New South Polar Times List Server. I've not decided.
Just another lovely day in the neighborhood...
Chris Weddle
------------------------------------------------
Well, that's all for now on that topic.
We won't get to stop at Rothera (wonderful establishment of the British
Antarctic Survey!) as the demands of science are far too pressing. Will be
darned close though. Drat.
We are looking for pancake ice and frazzle ice for study. We suspect
frazzle ice is forming in the ship's seawater system that feeds various
projects. That's Bad Frazzle Ice, clogs the pipes. We need to find
naturally occurring varieties. You know, Good Frazzle Ice.
Also there is Dion Island. Some 50 years ago a couple allowed their yacht
to freeze into the ice there and spent the winter studying the Emperor
Penguin colony. No one has been there since so far as has been recorded.
The area is a designated Special Protection Area (SPA) so only those whose
names appear on the permit will set foot on the island. SPA's are a very
serious matter and are treated with scrupulous attention to the rules and
procedures laid down for them.
Depending on the safe positioning of the ship relative to the island, we
may or may not see the Emperor Penguins from a distance. It is possible
that they may be out on the ice, or that being curious creatures they may
come close to the ship. Time will reveal all on this one.
Good Day,
Chris Weddle
RVIB Nathaniel B. Palmer