I really hate drugs
lorna
store, I had thought he was ''coming down'' and would be ok. I never
learn. He must have taken some before we left, because it wasnt till
we got in the store I realised he could barely walk,, was REALLY
slurring his words and people were giving me the '' look'' I have seen
before. Why does he think hes so cool? He was bent over, using his old
standby that his back hurts, therefore he has a good reason to
binge..and looked like he was really drunk, staggering all over and
had that damn vacant look on his face. I had him hold the cart,,,,,,,,
and then I thought Im enabling him again. So, I got what we needed and
dragged him out the door. He really was pathetic,, and he really
thinks no one knows. I dont know how to stop being his enabler. He
fell on the floor,and couldnt get back up and I walked away, I wouldnt
help him. I try and go on with my life,,, but theres no way you can,,
it all sounds good but bottom line is,, u cant just go on with your
life when ur spouse is peeing all over the house and leaving cooking
stoves lit. You cant just go about ur business then. Im so fustrated
and alone right now, and yes, feeling sorry for myself too. Im too
damn old for this,, and this isnt what I wanted to do with my life,,
babysit a drug addict. I have started the ball rolling to get out and
leave, and honestly, I dont know if I can go thru with it.
Anyway,, my whining is done,
Lorna
Somerville Cares
embarrassing situation, you did the RIGHT thing!! When he fell, you
left him there to deal with his own consequences. Someone said to me
recently, when your loved one passes out on the bottom of the stairs,
what do you do? Most people answered...pick him up and put him in bed
before the kids see him...l say let them see him when he wakes up and
says...where am I...how did I get here?? Let them experience their own
consequences or they will never see they need help. Let him feel the
shame and embarrassment that you felt when he looked like that in
public
If you can get a video camera at the house, set it up when he's really
high and let him see what he looks like when he's nodding. They really
don't know that they look that pathetic...
Have you looked for a support group in your area yet?? You might try a
local treatment program, they might have a support group...you can
always log online to www.familiesanonymous.org for an online meeting.
They have helped me tremendously!!
With love and support,
Steph
lorna
I have taped him,, years ago, crawling across the livingroom , really
stoned and for some reason, I have never showed him.Might be a good
time to do that, one last ditch effort to wake him up. He likes to
tell me he doesnt care and wants to die and I reply , if u really
wanted to die, u would take ALL the pills , not just enough to get
really stoned. I dont think drug addicts want to die, I think they
want to escape and they really cant help themselves or maybe dont want
too. I know '' he '' doesnt. He still denies a problem.
Steph, I should have gone to those meetings years ago, when I still
cared. When he comes down, hes mean, and that with the drugs killed
all the love I had for him.I can look at him now and say ''u did this
to urself, u get up on ur own''But,, its still draining. Its like
waiting for the bomb to drop and every night ,, when hes binging, I
worry if I will find him dead in the morning. Sometimes, he barely
breaths and thats scarey. I wish him alot of things, but I dont wish
him dead. It would be easier to walk away if he were straight, but
thats just wishful thinking on my part.Im really glad u got help,,
Steph. Your such a caring , helpful person and I thank u for listening
to me today.I really needed someone to say I did the right thing and I
thank u for that,
Take care, Love, Lorna
On May 11, 2:16 pm, Somerville Cares <mongostattoomadn...@gmail.com>
wrote:
> I have to say Lorna, in spite of dealing with a most difficult and
> embarrassing situation, you did the RIGHT thing!! When he fell, you
> left him there to deal with his own consequences. Someone said to me
> recently, when your loved one passes out on the bottom of the stairs,
> what do you do? Most people answered...pick him up and put him in bed
> before the kids see him...l say let them see him when he wakes up and
> says...where am I...how did I get here?? Let them experience their own
> consequences or they will never see they need help. Let him feel the
> shame and embarrassment that you felt when he looked like that in
> public
>
> If you can get a video camera at the house, set it up when he's really
> high and let him see what he looks like when he's nodding. They really
> don't know that they look that pathetic...
>
> Have you looked for a support group in your area yet?? You might try a
> local treatment program, they might have a support group...you can
> always log online towww.familiesanonymous.orgfor an online meeting.
> > Lorna- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Starvin'Marv
I have a lot of sympathy for you and your husband. Addiction is
extremely hard to understand and the collateral damage (to family
members) is hard to forgive.
You may be on your last legs and leaving may be your only option. But
if you still have a little fight left, you might consider one of these
options.
If he is addicted to prescribed medications, make an appointment
yourself with his Doctor (or Doctors) and describe his condition to
them and ask for their help. If he is using multiple physicians to get
his drugs, make each one of them aware.
In most states, you can have a loved one involuntarily committed. The
only requirement is that the individual is deemed to be a danger to
himself or others. (Leaving the stove on and falling definitely fits
this bill) You only need to contact your Sherriffs office or local
magistrate to do this.
I had to do this with my oldest brother (long before I realized my own
problem) and I considered it an act of love.
I will continue to pray for both of you.
Marv
> > always log online towww.familiesanonymous.orgforan online meeting.
> > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
lorna
a way of making me sound like Im the one with the problem. Hes very
good at manipulating, me as well as others. I just can see thru him
and others take him at face value. The other option interests me ,but
there has been several times when the sheriff has been involved and I
asked for rehab,, once I begged a state trooper to please put him in
rehab. That never happened and he never went to court either.I can
tell u that if I ever had him commited,, and in rehab, our marriage
would be over anyway, hes not a forgiving man, and a very angry one.
So,, I have no more fight left, and have accepted defeat. I thank u
for your suggestions and caring, Marv. I wish you well,,, and pray
your battle is still successful,
Lorna
> > > always log online towww.familiesanonymous.orgforanonline meeting.