Lt. Commander Ari Tagren: Life's A Fragile Thing PART I (nt)

[Kara Anthes]

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” --Soren Kierkegaard

((Somewhere, Sometime… In the Future?))

::Natural light streamed through flowing sheer curtains, bringing warmth and bright illumination to an all white room decorated simply with just a few pieces of furniture. On the far right side, a woman laid in bed with sheets pulled up to her waist, her hair frosted white over red, and eyes closed as if she were sleeping. Her mind drifted between the planes of reality, living just barely in this moment but delicately teetering into the unknown that existed beyond the physical.::

::It was a place she knew existed all along but did not quite understand until her later years.::

::Around her stood many people, sadness in their eyes but in their hearts knowing that it was time, though time... Yes, time was an interesting thing. Her children, her grandchildren, her great grandchildren, and so on all walked around, stepping in and out of the room, looking to holo-images of their matriarch and her life that had spanned centuries.::

::She knew they were there, but she didn't. She knew that they existed, but she didn't. In many ways, she was still living in the past, her mind racing back to distant memories of a man that called her daughter, of her mates and children, of the fires that burned and cold that brought ice, and everything in between, and to a ship that she had served on for a fleeting moment of her long life.::

::The few people in the room watched as she curled her knees up, bringing the sheets closer to her body as she whispered inaudibly, whimpering softly.::

::They all knew that time could change all things, that their reality could cease or simply be only one thread of many that wove the mysterious, intricate tapestry of the universe itself.::

::They all knew that she was drifting in between the present and the past, as it stood to them in that moment.::

::Strangely, pain did not exist here. What felt like a rush of warm water came over her, easing her whimpering. Comforting every inch of her physical body. Comforting her soul. Bringing with it flashes of wonderful memories until darkness gently, and slowly, started to squeeze in.::

::As things started to fade, she remembered the pain that had existed in those memories as well, present in more instances than comfort. Those memories started to dissolve, even if she was warping backwards in her mind. Faster and faster. To another moment in time. Pain. Yes, pain. Pain had existed...::

((Present: DS6))

::...here.::

::A young man with brown hair stood in his quarters, eyes fixed on the expanse of space showing through the portal above his sofa. His gaze became lost, staring at nothing in particular, as his mind went over the events that had unfolded just hours before. His bottom lip jutted out as he chewed on the insides of his cheeks, thinking about the puzzle that lay ahead of him and hoping that he wasn’t missing any pieces.::

::A young-looking woman with auburn hair had been taken to sickbay with an assortment of maladies. It all started with a simple nosebleed then progressed pretty quickly, almost dramatically. A look at her medical history by the physician and a few scans determined the cause of her suffering. The parasites that Aribelle Tagren had contracted on Ger'Vol had come back with a vengeance, having been dormant in her liver, undetected for months. The initial round of medications did not eradicate her infection. Her unique physiology was what kept her alive but barely. Febrile and disoriented, she was now resting peacefully in an induced slumber.::

::Until they had more information, there wasn’t anything else they could do for her but refer back to her records, contact Starfleet Medical for recommended treatment and appropriate dosage, and make her comfortable. This parasite was much like malaria and still a bit of a mystery.::

Bryce: A mystery…

::He whispered, voice cracking a little, as he pulled his eyes away from the portal. The patient care technician just sighed softly, his thoughts racing back in time.::

((Two Years Ago: San Francisco, Earth))

::Classes were ending and Bryce was looking forward to spending time with his father, a former Federation Captain that had retired into his own business of… well, whatever it was he did. His father was a bit of a mystery to him; there but only because he had to be. Well, that’s how Bryce felt anyway. After his mother had passed seven years ago, his twin sister and father were the only family he had left. He didn’t want to focus on what the relationship lacked but intended to move forward with what they had. Life was too short to drain it on negative things.::

::The evening was chilly, a bit drizzly.  Bryce silently wished he had brought his jacket as he navigated his way down the street to a favorite restaurant of theirs.  It was the same place they went to whenever his father was in town. It was a “seat yourself” kind of deal so, as soon as he swung the door open, the tall man nodded politely to the staff with a smile that charmed the hostess before moving around the island towards the seats. The smell of baked goods tempted his stomach. Spotting a table by the window, he took it and, only a moment later, his father showed.::

Paul: You’ve been working out?

::No hello. No, how have you been Bryce? The young man just raised an eyebrow and chuckled with a head shake.::

Bryce: No, but the holodeck does offer some rigorous simulations…

::His voice trailed off a bit. It was just like his father, to size up anyone in his company. Even his own son.::

Paul: Yeah, yeah.

::The skin crinkled around the older man’s tired blue eyes as he half-smiled. Bryce’s father, Paul Quinn, knew all too well the how the Academy was.::

Bryce: Medical’s a little different than what you went through, though.

::The men sat in silence for the most part, eating their meal and speaking about small, random things as it came to them. If Bryce mentioned his mother, Paul would steer the conversation in another direction. There was always something in his body language, in his voice… in the way that Paul would dismiss things and change topics whenever it came to Amy Fowler-Quinn-Williamson, and it aggravated Bryce.::

::Damned deflection.::

::His parents were married for a few years before separating when he and his twin sister were barely turning three. He barely remembered those times of when they were a “family,” those years almost mingling with dreams. Amy remarried about four years after the divorce and Paul… well, he was a wanderer, an officer, and kept in contact with his kids but any and all communication was almost obligatory. It never sat well. He was sure his father had secrets and didn’t… couldn’t divulge most of them.::

::Distant father, devoted officer.::

::So when Paul Quinn said…::

Paul: Listen, there’s something I have to tell you…

::It was all Bryce could do but sit still and listen.::

::It was a revelation and evening that would change his entire life.::

((One Year Ago: USS Tiger-A))

::Change. It was the only constant. Everything flowed and nothing ever stayed the same. Of course Aribelle Tagren was not Heraclitus, but she had repeated those words several times over her sixty-some years of life.::

::She felt herself reverting back to old ways, finding peace in her office in Sickbay behind closed doors and reviewing reports. She wasn't being antisocial. It was just her way of restoring energy after recent events, thinking over things and sorting through them so they'd make sense to her. As she pushed aside one PADD, another awaited her. Pouring herself into the information it held, her thoughts briefly drifted and she had to blink and refocus.::

::Sighing softly, the hybrid ran a hand through her straightened scarlet-brown hair and leaned back in her chair, her posture slumping slightly. Ari couldn't concentrate when there was so much on her mind, which came during her quiet periods of reflection. And that was the curse. Her inner workings were sometimes turbulent, baffling to even her, coming at all angles and intricately weaving themselves into her.::

::So, she allowed herself a moment to once again think of Firestarter, of the Grendellai, the saboteur, Gar, all the injuries and deaths… just to get it out of her system for the moment. It still brought measurable pain to her, no matter how many times she thought about it, creating flickers of doubt within herself. That doubt would undermine everything so she couldn't allow it to take hold.::

Tagren: oO Alright, woman. You think too much. Get out of your head. Oo

::She stood with a small frown and, in an effort to distance herself from her thoughts, she stepped around her desk. Her movement slowed to a stop, her attention turning towards the painting on the wall. On the bottom corner was a bright red curly "A," elaborately painted by the hand of her younger self. She bit her lower lip as she only half studied it.::

::Decades had passed and things change, but some things remained the same. She felt she had been in the same current for the last twenty years despite everything she accomplished. What was really holding her back?::

::She knew the answer but old habits die hard.::

::The scene slowly waved. Shapes distorted and colors blended together, until there was nothing left but empty darkness.::

TBC

Cadet Bryce Quinn

Medical Student / Patient Care Technician

Starfleet Medical, temporarily stationed on Deep Space 6

&

Lt. Commander Aribelle Tagren

On Medical Leave