Lieutenant Charlena Vanlith - Moving forwards

[S Philbrook]

((Captain's Ready Room, USS Veritas))

Rahman: I see... well, maybe a better question then first is: what have you enjoyed most about your job thus far? What would you want to do more of?

Vanlith: Well I loved making BAXTER and the Spiders that we were working on. But those haven't really been linked to any missions so much as in my free time. Although despite the pressure that came from trying to stabilise the Veritas as it was in orbit of Hecate I really enjoyed running engineering. It was full on and constant and required skills I knew I had but didn't know I had at the same time.

Rahman: And is there anything about your time on Veritas that you haven't enjoyed as much? An aspect of your duties you've found particular challenging or unsatisfying?

Vanlith: That time I had to fly. Never again. Seriously never.

A shiver ran down her spine as she thought back to that. It was not something she would ever like to relive. It was terrifying and even thinking about it filled her with dread. 

Vanlith: Honestly it was the single most terrifying moment of my life.

Rahman: I understand.

Vanlith: I guess I don't know what kind of picture this creates in regards to my future at all.

Rahman: Well, believe it or not, from where I sit, your future looks quite promising.

 

Vanlith: It does? 

 

Rahman: First, I want to let you in on a little secret: it's okay to have your doubts. *Everyone* has them, and I *mean* everyone. If someone says they don't ever have any doubts, then they don't really know what they're doing. Because here's the thing about "imposter syndrome:" imposters don't get it. Those who actually are working hard and achieving things are the ones who will have those doubts because they care so much about the work they're doing and aren't sure if they're really where they're supposed to be at times.

 

Charlena felt a small blush cross her cheeks as she let some of her hair fall over her face. Somehow she’d never thought of how she had been feeling as imposter syndrome. Maybe she truly was good at her job and it was just this that was holding her back. 

 

Rahman: But that's why others around them including their captains and department chiefs can let them know that they're doing a good job. And you *are* doing a good job, Charlena.

 

Vanlith: ::smiling:: Thank you Captain. 

 

Rahman: I'm glad you mentioned BAXTER and the robotic animals you've been working on. I think that might actually be a perfect project for you to work on during this time while you wait for your next long-term assignment.

 

Vanlith: You really think so? Sometimes I wonder if I get a bit carried away with them. 

 

Rahman: As a graduate of the Daystrom Institute, I still have a number of contacts. I could get you in touch with their robotics department... I'm sure they'd love to have you join them to collaborate on your work.

 

Charlena had to stop herself from screaming or even pinching herself, robotics had also just been a little side hobby for her in the grand scheme of things, she loved working on them and creating them but she had never particularly seen herself as much more than average in this field before she had created BAXTER. 

 

Vanlith: That would be incredible. 

 

The captain smiled as she thought of her own time at Daystrom.

 

Rahman: I learned a lot, not just about my work but also on how to develop my interpersonal skills. No matter what you do after Veritas, I think the skills you'd learn there would come in handy. What do you think?

 

Vanlith: If you really think I’d be suitable I would love the opportunity. 

 

Rahman: Response 

 

Charlena smiled and pushed her hair off her face. 

 

Vanlith: Until I made BAXTER I never saw what I did as something more than average, it was only seeing how well he worked, and how much he was loved that I realised that really this was something I was good at. It has just always been able to help to create something special and unique and able to do its job. 

Rahman: Response

Vanlith: Thank you Captain. Your belief in me truly means a lot. 

Rahman: Response

Lieutenant Charlena Vanlith

 Engineering Officer

 USS Veritas

 V239604CV0